Keelah Se'lai
by Full-Paragon
Summary: In her twilight years, Tali is interviewed and tells the story of her life, and the man she would love. Focuses on Tali, and her relationships with the Normandy's crew, as well as the destiny of her people and the geth. Contains language, violence, romance, religion and spoilers. Officially AU now. Updates every four days, rain, shine or apocalypse!
1. Prologue

Prologue

The sun on Rannoch rose early in the summer seasons, but Tali'Zorah was up early to watch it, as she was every morning. Her bones ached now, and she had various auto-immune disorders that were eating away at her joints that made waking and moving painful these days. But it was worth it to see the sunrise. Even after all these years, Tali still felt joy watching her own sun come over the horizon.

This morning she was without her suit, and as such was watching the sunrise from indoors. She could go outside without her suit after years on Rannoch, but at her advanced age infections and allergic reactions were always a risk, so the cleaned air of her house was the only place she went suit-less regularly.

This morning was special though, and Tali was expecting a visitor. Something of a rarity these days, but she was looking forward to it.

Just as the rocks turned a bright orange, Tali's omnitool beeped. When she answered, a young, unsuited female appeared.

"Lady Tali'Zorah vas Normandy, it's me, Unna'Koris nar Zaal, from the University. I am not early am I?"

"No Unna'Koris, you are not. I was just watching the sunrise. I'll open the door for you."

After a moment Unna'Koris came out onto the patio, smelling slightly of the disinfectant spray most quarian's used so that face to face contact was not as risky. The youngster activated an audio capture program on her omnitool and sat down next to Tali.

"Thank you so much Lady Tali'Zorah, for giving me the opportunity to interview you like this. This will surely count as my pilgrimage service, I hope to earn the right to the name vas Qwib Qwib."

Tali smilled. Pilgrimage, and the name "vas Qwib Qwib" were conventions from back in the days of the migrant fleet. While every quarian now had the right to use the name "vas Rannoch" it had become something of a tradition to use the name of the last ship you had been posted on in the migrant fleet as your name. Though in Unna's case, it was the name of the ship her father, Zaal'Koris had been posted on. Like most quarians of her generation, Unna had been born on Rannoch.

"You are very welcome, Unna. But I must warn you as I did at your father's wake, this will not be a story of destroying geth or blowing up Reapers, though a few explosions may occur."

"Of course Lady Tali'Zorah. May I start the recording with that? Please, tell me what you did at the wake."

Tali smiled, and looked at the picture of the handsome human on the table beside her.

"For me, my story was never as our people saw it, the story of saving the galaxy, or even the story of reclaiming our homeworld. It was a love story."

_Authors Note:_

_Welcome to Keelah Se'lai, the (increasingly AU) story of Tali's life. I'm Full-Paragon, and I want to thank you for taking the time to read this story. If you see something you like or don't like, please, drop me a review, I love to talk with my readers. But no matter what you do, I hope you enjoy this story._


	2. Chapter 1: Pilgrim

_Unna'Koris: Where do you want to begin, Lady Tali'Zorah?_

_Tali'Zorah: Please, Unna. Here in my home, it's just Tali._

_UK: Yes, Lady Tali._

_TZ: (Laughs) Close enough, I suppose the best place to start is when I met the Commander._

_UK: On the old Citadel, on your pilgrimage correct?_

_TZ: Yes, I was about your age, and I had uncovered information from a heratic geth's memory core. I had scheduled a meeting with the shadow broker. I knew it was going to be the most important meeting of my life, but I didn't know just how much my life would change…_

**Chapter 1: Pilgrim**

Tali checked her suit's warnings again as she walked to the meeting with the shadow broker. She still have half a dozen infections, but the patch in her suit was holding up and Dr. Michel had refilled her supply of immuno boosters and given her plenty of anti-biotics, so she only had a slight fever and a runny nose. A small price to pay for what she was about to do. In exchange for her information, Tali wanted the shadow broker to get her a small ship to take back to the migrant fleet. Combined with the data on the geth, it would be a pilgrimage gift that would make even her father proud.

Maybe. Rael'Zorah was notoriously hard to please, even if you were his only daughter. Her bosh'tet of a father hadn't even bothered to send her off on her pilgrimage in person, leaving her a message she never even finished watching. But how could he ignore the gift of an entire ship and data that could retake the homeworld?

"Maybe he will even say 'I love you.' For once." Tali muttered to herself.

She shook her head. Focus. No time to dwell.

The hallway in the wards she had chosen for the meet was poorly lit, but that was hardly an encumbrance for Tali. Her suit easily showed all the nooks and crannies, and the several well armed mercenaries waiting for her.

A turian strode up to her. "Where's the Shadow Broker?" Tali asked, "Where's Fist?"

"Oh they will be here," The turian said it too-sweet tones as he fingered Tali's suit. "Where's the evidence?"

Slapping his hand away, Tali cased the mercs. Two Salarians, and a couple of humans. And a well armed party was sneaking down the hallway behind the mercs, looked like they had a krogan with them. This could get messy, fast.

"No way, the deals off." Tali readied one of the many small explosives she kept on her person, and as the salarians drew their weapons she pushed the turian away and threw it, ducking for a corner as she drew her shotgun. But to her surprise, as the sound of gunfire and screams filled the air, she realized no one was shooting at her.

Out of the smoke stepped one of the most massive krogan Tali had ever seen, though admittedly she had not seen many krogan in the migrant fleet. This one had a large scar over his right eye. For a moment, they both stared down the barrels of their shot guns at each other, then the krogan grunted.

"All clear Shepard." The krogan holstered his gun and walked off, and a human flanked by another turian approached.

Tali stood, and the turian spoke, "That's her, Commander. The quarian from Dr. Michel's office."

They knew Dr. Michel? Perhaps they were here to help. "Fist set me up!" Tali raged, though she kept her shotgun handy. Humans were new on the galactic scene, and something of an unknown quantity to quarians. "I knew he would turn on me."

'What I get for trusting a human.' Tali thought, and wondered if this human would be any better.

To Tali's surprise, the human removed his helmet and looked her up and down. "Were you hurt in the fight?" He asked with what seemed to be genuine concern.

Taken aback, Tali put up a bold front, "I know how to look after myself, not that I don't appreciate the help. Who are you?"

The human smiled, and Tali felt herself blushing, though she tried to convince herself it was just her fever.

"My name is Commander Shepard with the Alliance, and I am looking for evidence that Saren is a traitor to the council."

"Then I have a chance to repay you for saving my life, but I would prefer it if we talked somewhere safer."

The turian spoke again, "We can take her to the human embassy, your ambassador will want to see this as well."

Shepard nodded. "Good idea, Garrus. Will you come with us, Miss …?"

Tali started, this human was actually asking for her name? Everyone had just called her suit-rat or quarian since she left the fleet. "Tali'Zorah nar Rayya."

The human nodded. "My turian friend here is Garrus Vakarian," Shepard gestured to the krogan," and this is Urdnot Wrex. Come on, we need to move fast."

As they hustled through the ward, Tali tried to figure out just what she was getting into. Humans were new on the galactic scene, relatively speaking, but were already more powerful politically and economically than many races that had been on the Citadel for years. They didn't have much of a reputation on the fleet, as a levo-amino species, quarians didn't really have much reason to visit human worlds. All the briefs Tali had seem on them described them as adaptable, and neither hostile nor welcoming to quarians as a general rule. But this human, Commander Shepard, seemed to at the very least see quarians as equal beings. Something of a rarity for older council species.

As they moved, two more humans in military hardsuits joined them, jogging up alongside Shepard.

"How'd it go commander?" The female asked.

For some reason, Tali didn't really like her.

"Just fine Chief Williams. You and Lieutenant Alenko secure the clinic?"

"Yes sir, a couple more mercs came knockin', but we scared them off. Dr. Michal will be just fine."

"Good work, Williams, Alenko. Head back to the Normandy, I have a feeling after this we might have a new deployment."

"Aye, aye Commander." The two humans chorused, and as they approached the taxi docking bay they broke off and headed toward C-Sec.

Tali climbed into the taxi with Shepard and the rest, drawing a look from the turian driver.

"Suit-rat." He didn't say anything, but Tali could read his expression. He didn't seem to like the krogan either, but while turians had no problems sticking it to quarians, only well armed, suicidal turians stuck it to krogan.

"Where to sir?" He asked Shepard.

"The human embassy, and fast." Shepard said, swiping his credit chit.

The turian's eyes lit up. He might not like having a suit-rat and a krogan in his taxi, but he liked big spending humans just fine.

"Yes sir." The taxi driver said, and proved that no matter where in the galaxy you were, taxi drivers still drove like bosh'tets.

During the short ride, Tali found herself noticing that her leg was rubbing up against Shepard's as they sat across from each other. She tried to convince herself that her body temperature was just rising because of the fever, but she also studied Shepard's face.

He oozed an easy charisma, and Tali realized she had trusted him ever since he spoke to her. His words were kind, calm, and authoritative. Much like her father, he didn't get his authority from rank, but from the fact he inspired others to trust and respect him just by being present. Of course, Rael'Zorah would have never appreciated being compared to a human, but never the less it was there.

Tali also caught herself noticing how handsome the human was. His features were remarkably Quarian-like, though the square jaw and rounded ears were different, it made him seem more handsome to Tali, a bit exotic even. She mentally kicked herself, now was no time to fall for dashing alien commanders, even if they did have a strong jaw and saved her from dangerous mercs. And didn't call her suit rat, and seemed to think of her as an actual being worthy of treating with respect.

"It's just the fever." Tali muttered to herself, making sure her suits audio speakers were disabled. One convenience of living in a suit, you never looked like you were talking to yourself.

When they climbed out of the cab, Tali noticed Shepard had a cute butt too.

"Keelah, what is WRONG with me!" Tali breathed. Noticing a human had a cute butt was not something a quarian on pilgrimage was supposed to do, especially one that was Rael'Zorah's daughter.

She got plenty of looks crossing the embassy courtyard to the human embassy, though not as many as the massive, well armed Wrex. A quarian in the presidium was an oddity. A krogan in the presidium was a disaster. Tali felt for Wrex, though he seemed to be enjoying it, leering at passersby who dared stare at him. And yet Commander Shepard forged on, as if he dared the world to question his choice in companions. Several people looked like they were ready to stop this brash human and his strange group, but one look at Wrex and they thought better of it.

Going to the human embassy was a bit painful for Tali. Her own people had been tossed out of their embassy when their own synthetic servents, the geth, threw them off their planet after a long, bloody war. Most of the quarian people had died, and only a remnant of a remnant had lived on in exile. They had found no succor or help from the other races of the galaxy, cast out as an example to all those who would dare meddle with AI. It had created an insular culture, and Tali longed for the comfort of her own kind. Humans who treated her like Shepard she could get used to though.

They entered into the embassy, and Tali was impressed. It was rather large and well appointed, compared to species like the elcor or volus. Two human males stood at the balcony of the embassy. One was dark skinned and in a military uniform, the other was older and lighter skinned, and had his back to Tali.

Without turning, the lighter human spoke, "You are not making my life easy, Shepard. Firefights in the wards, and a full scale assault on Chora's Den!"

He turned, and his eyes went straight to Tali. She tried not to flinch, the daughter of Rael'Zorah shouldn't let something as simple as racism bother her. But it did. Back home, she was loved, respected, even looked up to for her engineering skills. Here, she was worse than garbage. A suit rat.

"And what's this," the human spat, "a quarian?" Tali inwardly flinched again, "what are you up to Shepard?"

Tali melted a little when Shepard stepped between the angry human and her, as if to protect her. She had just met Shepard, but he was already ready to stand up for her against what had to be not only his superior but one of the most powerful humans in the galaxy. No wonder a powerful krogan and an arrogant turian followed him unquestioningly. Tali decided right then and there. No matter what this human was after, no matter where he was going to go, she had to go with him. Whatever he was doing, this Saren was with the geth, and that meant trouble for the migrant fleet. As a quarian, and especially as an admiral's daughter, Tali had an obligation to protect the fleet. And besides, Shepard did have a cute butt.

"I am here to make your day Ambassador. This is Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, and she has important evidence that will prove our case about Saren."

There Shepard went again, treating her as if she was a real being. If he wasn't careful, Tali was going to have to come up with a new excuse for all her blushing. Once again, Tali was very grateful for her suit shielding her emotions from those around her.

"Really? Is that so?" The Ambassador turned to Tali. "Well, Miss nar Rayya, we don't see many quarians here on the citadel, what made you leave the flotilla?" He said it as if the flotilla was the only appropriate place for a quarian, and surely not in the exalted human embassy.

Tali straightened up a bit more, this human was getting her back up, but her message was important. "I was on my pilgrimage, my right of passage into adulthood."

"A pilgrimage? I've never heard of this. Is it a tradition among your people?" Shepard asked, smiling at Tali. He was probably deliberately trying to calm her down, but she didn't mind.

"It's a tradition among my people. We leave the ships of our parents and set out among the stars, searching for something of value to take back to the flotilla. We return only when we have something to bring back and prove ourselves worthy of adult hood."

The way the ambassador scowled at her, Tali was sure he had never considered that a quarian might have a legitimate reason to venture to the citadel. Or maybe he just figured Tali was here to steal something. That's what most people figured when they saw a quarian.

"What sort of things do you look for Tali?" Shepard asked, as if trying to show the ambassador that this quarian had a good reason to be here.

"Food, fuel, or even technology. Something to show we will be a productive member of society that will contribute to our limited resources instead of being a drain." She shot the "drain" part straight at the human ambassador, implying that he was a drain on the humans resources, but the human didn't seem to notice.

"Sounds like you found something valuable alright, why don't you tell the ambassador what you found." Shepard said, looking to his superior in an almost "I told you so" expression.

"During my travels I heard reports of geth activity, since the geth drove my people off of our homeworld, Rannoch, they have not ventured beyond the veil. I was curious. I tracked them down and separated one from its patrol and disabled it. I managed to salvage a data core with an audio log on it."

The dark military human spoke up. "I thought the geth fried their memory cores when they were captured, some kind of defense mechanism." He didn't seem to be as hostile as the ambassador, but he didn't seem to trust Tali either.

For the first time, the turian jumped in on the conversation, "Yes that's true, how exactly did you manage to preserve the memory core?" His tone was very respectful, even a bit jealous. Tali found herself reevaluating her opinion of him as arrogant. Most turians treated quarians like pests, but this Garrus seemed to be willing to judge Tali on her own merits.

"My people created the geth. If you are quick, careful and lucky, you can salvage some useful data before the core can wipe itself. Most of the geth's memory core was wiped clean, but I managed to salvage something from its audio banks."

Garrus nodded. "Yes, that would work. You must be a very skilled engineer, even with my C-Sec training I would have be very lucky to get anything at all."

The ambassador gestured to Tali, as if resigned to his fate. "Alright, let's hear it."

Tali pulled up the audio log on her omni tool, and Saren's voice oozed out. "Eden prime was a major victory for us, the beacon has brought us one step closer to finding the conduit."

"That's Saren's voice!" Exclaimed the human officer. "That proves he was involved in the attack on Eden Prime!"

Looking thoughtful, Shepard mused, "he said Eden Prime brought him one step closer to finding the conduit. Any ideas what that is Captain?"

The military human shook his head. "Maybe it's some kind of prothean technology. Like a weapon perhaps?"

Tali interrupted the human's, wanting to show Shepard the last bit of evidence and perhaps help solve the mystery of the Conduit. "Wait, there's more. Saren wasn't working alone."

A deep asari voice came out of the omnitool this time. "And one step closer to the return of the Reapers."

The ambassador listened, now taking Tali seriously, then turned to Shepard. "I don't recognize that other voice, the one talking about 'Reapers'."

Shepard turned to Tali. He really did seem to respect her opinion. "Are they some kind of new alien species?"

Happy she could answer the question, Tali pulled up the memory cores logs. "According to data I salvaged from the memory core, they were some kind of hyper advanced machine race that existed 50,000 years ago. The reapers hunted the protheans to total extinction, then vanished!" Tali realized she was sounding a bit manic, and calmed down before adding, "At least, that's what the geth believe."

The ambassador sniffed and turned away from Tali, folding his arms. "Sounds a little farfetched!"

But again, Shepard sprang to Tali's defense. " No, Tali is right, the vision on Eden Prime, I understand it now. I saw the protheans being wiped out by the Reapers!"

A vision? From the protheans? Tali had to proceed cautiously, a light that was maybe obsession, maybe madness burned in Shepard's eyes when he spoke of the vision and Eden Prime.

"The geth revere the Reapers as gods, the pinnacle of synthetic life. And the geth think Saren knows how to bring the reapers back," She explained.

The ambassador shook his head. "Oh, the council is going to love this." He said sarcastically.

But the human captain jumped in, "No matter what they think about the rest of it, those audio files prove Saren is a traitor and he was behind the attack on Eden prime!"

The ambassador seemed to reach the same conclusion. "You are right captain. We need to show the council this as soon as possible."

For the first time since rescuing her, Wrex spoke. "What about her, the quarian?"

She wanted to scream at him "I am a person!" But she just said, "My name is Tali! You saw me in the alley commander, you know what I can do! Let me come with you!" She tried to keep the pleading out of her voice, but she knew she was begging.

Instead of dismissing the idea of a quarian coming along, Shepard expressed concern for her. "What about your Pilgrimage, your people? Don't you need to worry about them?"

"The pilgrimage proves we are willing to give of ourselves for the greater good. I can't imagine a more important service to my people then stopping the geth and Saren. I can't turn my back on this."

Shepard nodded, and extended his hand. Tali grasped it. "I will take all the help I can get. Welcome aboard, Miss nar Rael."

The gesture of clasping hands was fairly universal, though it did feel odd to hold a hand with so many fingers. How did the humans ever manage to get anything done with so many extra digits getting in the way?

"Thanks! You won't regret this." Tali tried not to sound like a bubbling school girl, but touching Shepard's hand, even with all the extra fingers, made her feel giddy.

"I will call an emergency meeting with the council, and then we will head up to the tower. You head there straight away with Miss nar Rael." The ambassador said, then turned his back to make the call.

Shepard turned to the krogan and slapped his arm. "Well Wrex, it was good to have you on the mission. I'm sure you need to turn in your bounty on Fist. I don't suppose I could convince you to stick around?"

Wrex let out a deep belly laugh. "Shepard, you couldn't keep me off this mission with a gun. There's a storm building, and you're right at the center of it with Saren. There's going to be some good fights, and I want to be there for them. "

Shepard nodded. "Excellent. Pack your gear and head for the Normandy. I think it's time we bring to storm to Saren."

Turning to the turian, Shepard shook hands with him. "Well Garrus, you have been a great help in this investigation. Feel like you can handle being in front of the council again?"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world, Shepard. I want to see the look on Executor Palin's face when you get to say, 'I told you so.'"Garrus said, drawing back his mandibles in a smile.

As she followed Shepard to the citadel tower, Tali wondered aloud to herself, "What am I getting myself into? A turian? A krogan? A human? What kind of crazy mission is this going to be? I'll make you proud father."

* * *

_Unna'Koris: Would you call it love at first sight?_

_Tali'Zorah: No, not quite. It was more respect at first sight on Shepard's part, and I was a giddy, feverish girl who had just lived through a fire fight. Love is more than just getting rescued by a handsome human with a cute butt. It was a beginning though. The seeds of love were planted then to be sure, but it took a long time for them to really bloom. Those first heady days were exciting, to be sure, but back then, Shepard didn't notice me that way._

_UK: How did Shepard notice you?_

_TZ (smiling): As I said, with respect. He was the first alien on my pilgrimage to treat me with real respect. And as I would learn, he was far from the only one to do so._


	3. Chapter 2: Shipmates

_**Chapter 2: ****Shipmates**  
_

_Unna'Karis: Serving on a ship full of aliens, that must have been hard for you._ _From the histories, I know there was a great deal of racism back then. _

_Tali'Zorah: Was and is. You havn't been off-world often enough to see it, though admittedly having the quarian fleet play a key role in ending the reaper threat has helped it die down. _

_UK: Did your fellow shipmates give you a hard time? The great Urdnot Wrex? The famous Garrus Vekarian? Dr. Liara T'soni? Or the humans, like Kaiden Alenko or Ashley Williams?_

_TZ: There was some friction to be sure, but you will never guess who took me under his wing and taught me a great deal about combat._

_UK: Was it Garrus or Shepard? You were closest to the two of them._

_TZ: No, actually. My uncle was a very... Unique individual._

It was all so… New. Even after weeks aboard the SR-1 Normandy, Tali could not get over how new everything was. The paint was new. The metal was new. Even the air was new! Back aboard the migrant fleet, it was different. Paint was layered over fatiguing metal that needed constant repairs to keep it from breaking, and the air had been recycled so many times it never tasted fresh. When she had not known anything else, Tali had not realized just how desperate the migrant fleet was, how much they needed the resources on from pilgrimages. She was beginning to understand though.

"Still too quiet for you?" Tali turned and smiled to see Shepard there. He came through whenever he had time.

At first, Tali thought maybe he felt the same way about her as she did about him, that he was secretly trying to court her and that all those tawdry romances about the poor engineer having secret trysts with the heroic captain she had read during her adolescence were coming true. But then she realized he did the same for everyone. He stopped and talked with Chief Engineer Adams, with the various crewmen, with every single squad member.

He spent the most time with Gunnery Chief Williams though. And that made Tali jealous.

She had talked with Chief Williams, and even been on a few missions with her and Shepard, to explore distress signals or take out pirate bases. Williams was a competent soldier, and in her own rough and rugged way Tali guessed Williams was beautiful, at least by human standards. William's even knew quite a bit of human poetry, and had told Tali a bit.

And Chief Williams was very, very racist. Oh, she was never outright rude or condescending, especially not within the hearing range of Shepard. She made pleasant enough small talk, and even complimented Tali for her combat or engineering skills sometimes. But the way she looked at Tali, the way she dismissed Tali as a possible competitor for Shepards affections (unlike the beautiful young asari Dr. T'soni, who Tali could not bring herself to hate,) the way she dismissed Tali's ideas and the way William's acted superior. She wasn't violently xenophobic, and she didn't seem to hate quariens in particular, the way some other aliens did. But Williams was obviously carrying a chip on her shoulder toward aliens, and somehow it hurt Tali that Shepard could find such a racist person attractive, even if Williams was a member of his own species and Tali was a quarian.

"It's this stupid mask!" Tali often thought to herself. "If only I could take it off! If only Shepard could see the real me! Then maybe he could love me…"

But she knew that taking her suit off on a human ship without preparing was nearly a death sentence. And even if Shepard could see her face, it would only be for a little while before the suit had to go back on. So Tali kept her secret dreams secret, and no one, not even Commander Shepard, could see the longing in her face when she looked at him.

"Actually Shepard, I'm getting used to it. It's different then the noise on the flotilla, but the Normandy is slowly becoming home for me."

Shepard nodded. "I know what you mean. I was born on a ship myself. Each new ship takes some getting used to, but when you get used to the old girls rhythms, she becomes home." He patted a bulkhead affectionately."

"I didn't know you were spaceborn like me." Tali said. For all her talks about Shepard, she didn't know much about him. He was always more interested in others, more interested in helping them. He never asked for anything in return, never asked for another to help him. It made Tali want to give him a great big hug and tell Shepard it was going to be alright.

"Yep, both parents are in the military. Mom's the XO of the SSV Kilimanjaro, one of our dreadnaughts. I just talked with her the other day actually. I don't hear from my dad much, he and mom were never really close when I was growing up, these days he keeps his head so far down the bottle he doesn't notice much."

Tali was taken aback. Was Shepard opening up to her? "What's wrong Shepard? Something about the mission bothering you?"

"No, its fine. Just checking up on you, making small talk. See you around Tali." Shepard started to turn away to chat with the other engineers, but Tali put on hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, I know you now. How many times have we been shot at together? I think I owe it to you to listen. Besides, I'm outside the chain of command. It's not like your unloading on a subordinate. I'm your friend, Shepard."

Shepard paused, and for a second Tali thought he was going to press on, but something stopped him. Ever since the mission on Feros a few days ago, the Commander had seemed almost melancholy. They had saved almost the entire colony. Tali had cooked up a potent gas grenade that had knocked the colonists controlled by the strange thorian creature, and Garrus and Shepard had carefully deployed them, managing not to kill a single mind controlled person. Seeing Fi Dan blow his brains out had been shocking, and Shepard always took it hard when someone died on his watch.

"Alright Tali." He pitched his voice so it would carry. "You look a little under the weather Tali, why don't you come up to the mess with me. We got some new dextro-amino foods at our last stop on the citadel. Why don't you try some out?"

She nodded, and followed Shepard out of engineering. She had to work to contain her glee. It was not a date. He was not asking her to dinner. She was going to listen while she inserted food tubes into her suits filtration system. And she most definitely was not going to keep studying Shepards butt as he stepped on the elevator. She must be running a fever again, because it was getting very warm in her suit.

The mess chief brought Tali the dextro-amino food tubes. She had to carefully scrub them in her filtration system, as they were turian rations and not as sterile as quarian food would have been. Thankfully, her body was adjusting and she hardly got sick from the food anymore. Shepard picked at a plate of levo-amino food, called "omelet." Everyone else cleared out of the mess, giving their commander some space as he obviously had something on his mind.

"So what's up Shepard? You still bothered about Fai Dan?" Tali said as she carefully put one of the tubes into an induction port. In a few minutes, she would be able to ingest it, but she wasn't really in a hurry.

"I suppose that's part of it. It hurts, losing people like that. Good people." Shepard looked up at Tali, and she gasped. The pain, the hurt in Shepards eyes was obvious.

"You couldn't have saved him. He died honorably, for his community, protecting them even when he was being controlled by that… Thing. He was a true captain of his ship. You saved everyone you could."

Shepard sighed. "I know Tali. I know. But this whole mission has felt like nothing but losing people. First, Jenkins on Eden Prime, then Fai Dan. I promised myself once I would do everything I could to keep everyone around me safe. After…" He feel silent, and munched quietly on his eggs.

Tali gathered her courage. "After what?"

Looking Tali in the eye, Shepard said one word. "Akuze."

Feeling embarrassed, Tali had to ask, "I don't remember going to that planet. What happened there?"

"It was a long time ago Tali. Right after I first enlisted, what got me into the N7 program and made me a SPECTRE candidate. It was me and my entire platoon of marines. A colony had gone dark, and we were sent to investigate. We found massive holes in the ground, buildings wrecked, and every single colonist dead."

"Oh no." Tali gasped. "Thresher Maws. We are taught about them before our pilgrimages, but humans have been in the galaxy so short a time…"

Shepard nodded. "It was first contact with them for us. We had no idea what we were getting into. Fifty marines died. I was the only one that made it out. And I promised myself, never again. Never again would I watch those around me die as I fled in panic and terror, blasting wilding and monsters I couldn't see. They say it was skill, but I know better. It was God's blessing Tali. Only divine providence kept me from becoming thresher meat like the rest of my platoon."

Tali sucked in her breath. So that was what Shepard liked about Chief Williams. Tali had seen Williams praying before each mission. Tali was not terribly religious herself, and quarians for the most part revered their ancestors if they were religious. Only a few clung to old religions that told of a supreme being of some sort. After the geth took their home world, most of the old ways had been forgotten. Having another human next to him that believed in the same God? Tali knew that could be a powerful bond.

"That's… That's a heavy burden to carry. But it is a captains burden Shepard. And you are our captain." Tali very nearly said my captain, but she knew better.

He nodded. "Thanks for not trying to talk me out of it Tali. I know I can't save everyone, but I can damn well try."

Shepard's comm bead squawked to life, and Jokers voice came through. "Commander, we just received a call from Admiral Hackett. It sounds important."

The Normandy's pilot was sarcastic and abrasive, but Tali understood being trapped by your own body. For her it was her immune system, for Joker it was his bones. Joker had it worse though, at least every quarian shared Tali's fate. Joke was alone in a sea of humans that could run where he hobbled.

"Rodger that Joker. Tell the Admiral I will be right there."

Tali stood, and placed a hand on Shepard's shoulder. "Hey, you OK?"

Nodding Shepard smiled, the old confidence and charisma back in place. "Of couse. Thanks for the talk Tali. Sometimes I forget that it's OK to ask my friends for help."

And off he went, to save the galaxy again. But that mask had come off, and now Tali knew there was more to Commander Shepard than he showed the world.

"The perfect captain."

Tali sighed, and headed back down toward engineering. She hated the elevator, whatever bosh'tet had designed it had made the slowest elevator in the galaxy, Tali was sure. When she got down though, she walked over to where Wrex was, reading, to her astonishment, a human book, though it was written in galactic basic. It must have been ancient, for it was made out of actual paper and its edges were very worn.

"What are you reading Wrex?" Tali asked, curious as to what could pique a krogan's interest in literature.

Wrex cocked at eye at her, and Tali thought for a moment she had irritated him. "What, no 'krogan can read?' Jokes, Tali?"

She laughed. "You know me better then that Wrex. The way I think of things, our species are too hated by everyone else for us to waste time hating each other."

Grunting, Wrex nodded. "What do you know, a kid like you who can learn?"

From anyone else, Tali might have been offended, she knew she was young, but she was also trying to prove herself an adult. But Wrex was hundreds of years old, and had seen and done more than the rest of the Normandy's crew combined. From him, a remark like that was a compliment.

"You still havn't answered my question," Tali insisted.

"Huh. Yeah. It's a book by a famous human, named Shake-Spear, good name. Apparently, some warrior race I've never heard of named 'Cling-ons' thinks it's the best thing by humans, according to Ashley. When I asked Shepard he just laughed and told me I might like it."

Tali was a bit confused, she had never heard of "Cling-ons" or a human named "Shake-Spear," and the idea of Ashley knowing anything about an alien race that didn't involve why humans were better than them was foreign.

"How is it?" Tali asked, now genuinely curious. "I think I remember hearing something about _Hamlet_ aboard the Citadel."

"Good. These Cling-ons were on to something. This Hamlet's father was chief of their clan, the Danes. Apparently his uncle decides to off his father and steal his father's mate. Hamlet swears revenge, and begins plotting to kill his uncle. He's a bit whiney at times, but what do you expect from a human?"

Tali had to suppress a giggle. Of course Wrex would love a book full of betrayal and families killings. It would be like being back on Tuchanka for him.

"Shepard doesn't whine much."

"No, but Shepard's special. Shepard would face his death with dignity. This Hamlet is just like this one human I cornered one time, he just keeps whining 'No, please, I don't want to die, leave me alone.'"

Tali cleared her throat, Wrex seemed to relate everything to killing someone. "Er, what about showing me some more of those combat tricks you showed me before?"

Wrex tossed aside the book. "Sure, sounds better then reading Hamlet whine about fate again. Follow me."

Leading Tali out to the middle of the cargo bay, Wrex turned and brought up his shot gun. Even though Tali knew Wrex would never kill one of his ship-mates, she was still intimidated by the massive krogan.

"Now, when someone pulls a gun on you and is bigger and stronger then you, which most everyone is, what do you do?" Wrex growled.

"Um, duck and hope they miss?" Tali ventured.

"NO!" Wrex bellowed. "You smack that gun aside and hit them with a knife or one of those little explosives you always seem to have. If they are bigger and stronger, ducking just makes it so they can bash your skull in, LIKE THIS!"

Surging forward, Wrex knocked Tali to the ground and brought his shot gun butt millimeters from her face plate.

"Easy there Wrex. She's not going to learn like that." Garrus walked over, pushed Wrex aside and helped Tali up.

"Hmph. If she doesn't learn by see what will happen if she screws up, she won't ever learn."

"Or she could learn if she had someone show her how it's done." Garrus calmly remarked. "Here, try it on me. I'm a bit bigger then Tali, but you have plenty of weight and height on me still so she will get the general idea."

"Heh. Your funeral, turian."

Tali watched as Wrex brought his shotgun up, and Garrus took the same position Tali had been in a moment before.

"Now Tali, what Wrex wants you to do is something like this." Garrus said, as he neatly smacked Wrex's gun aside and brought his pistol up to Wrex's chest.

"Not to shabby, Garrus. But I could still do this." Wrex head butted Garrus hard enough to leave the turian on the ground.

But Garrus proved to be tougher then Tali did, sweeping Wrex's leg out from under him and bringing a knife to the fallen krogan's throat.

"Alright! Enough you two, you're not actually trying to kill each other! You are ship-mates, after all." Tali said, trying not to make the last sentence a question.

"True enough." Garrus got up, and offered Wrex a helping hand. After a moment's hesitation, Wrex took it.

"Sorry I was a bit rough on you, old man."

"Haw! Old man? I'll be killing turians long after your nothing but rust, young pyjak." Wrex said, grinning predatorily at the smaller turian.

"Maybe. You're pretty tough yourself, krogan."

Tali cleared her throat. "As nice as it is to have you two making nice, would you mind coaching me through that move with Garrus, Wrex? You play a bit rough."

Wrex shrugged. "Suit yourself, your going to face plenty of krogan in the field, even if they aren't as tough as me, lots of them are younger. But I can play battlemaster for the two of you hatchlings for a while; Shepard would be pissed if part of his squad got killed because they didn't know enough to punch when they ducked."

After about an hour of drilling in various defensive and offensive maneuvers, Wrex called it a day and went back to his book. "That's enough of me playing battlemaster today, Tali. You're not quite as tough as a young krogan, and I'm too old to spend all my time fooling around with you kids. You did manage to learn a bit today though. Talk to me again tomorrow, maybe I'll feel like teaching you some more."

Tali headed back to engineering, but paused when she felt a three taloned hand on her shoulder.

"Hey, want to go up and grab something to eat? I know it might sound a bit strange, but it would be nice to have a meal with someone who eats the same things I do. Besides, we should talk for a bit." Garrus said, his mandibles splayed in amusement.

Though still fairly full from her snack with Shepard, Tali had to admit Garrus was right. Even though they were different species, it would be nice to sit down with someone who ate the same things she did, even if he didn't have to eat through an induction port.

"That sound's great Garrus."

They rode the elevator up to the mess hall, and Garrus couldn't resist quipping "Whoever designed this thing must have really loved elevator rides."

They found Liara sitting at the table, who was busy reading over some document or other on a holo-tab. Grabbing their food, they sat down next to the asari, who finally looked up.

"Garrus, Tali, it is good to see you. I apologize; I was reviewing my research to see if I could find anything further on Thorian. It was such a fascinating creature; I only wish I could have gotten to see it in person."

"No, you don't Liara. It was gross, disgusting, and very disturbing. Shepard, Garrus and I were all glad to get away from it." Tali said, shuddering at the memory of the hideous and ancient plant creature.

"Yeah. Especially seeing it... Make those asari clones. I don't ever want to see anything like that ever again." Garrus added.

Liara nodded. "Of course, you are right. I seem to always let my curiosity get away from me in these situations."

Garrus chuckled. "You mean you moon over anything that's old enough to remember the protheans."

Blushing Liara nodded. "Yes, of course." Then she turned back to her research, her meal mostly forgotten in front of her.

Garris jerked his head toward Liara and pantomimed Liara having her head in the clouds.

Inserting her food into her induction port, Tali asked Garrus "So what was it you wanted to talk about? Surely not how tasty turian rations are."

Making a face, Garrus shook his head. "No, definitely not. As proud that I am that my people have a wonderful food distribution network that supplies the Normandy with food, I do wish they could find a way to make it both efficient to get supplies that are actually tasty to eat. "

Tali giggled, she thought the turian food was pretty flavorful herself, the recycled stuff on the migrant fleet was bland in comparison, but she wasn't going to tell the already cocky Garrus that.

"What I wanted to talk about was you and Wrex. I know the old guy can be a bit rough on you, but he's really got a soft spot for you. It might seem strange that a turian would know anything about krogan psychology, but my years in C-Sec have allowed me to gain a pretty fair knowledge of how just about any race works, even the quarian, though we don't get many of your people on the Citadel. Especially Wrex saying he's your 'battlemaster.' That's a position of both respect and authority in krogan society. A battlemaster takes apprentices and teaches them everything there is to know about being a krogan, mostly how to fight. For a krogan to offer the same thing to an alien? That's unheard of."

Garrus's statement shocked Tali a bit. Turians and krogan had a notorious history of bad blood; after all it was the turians who deployed the genophage against the krogan. Wrex and Garrus got along fairly well, both because Wrex was fairly mellow and forgiving for a krogan, and Garrus was willing to work with other species and accept them as individuals far more than the average turian. But here sat Garrus, not only telling Tali that he respected Wrex, but that he respected her as well, enough to tell her what an honor she was being paid.

"Thanks for telling me Garrus. I had no idea that would mean so much to Wrex, what do you think I should do?" Tali asked.

Liara stirred from her reverie, interjecting, "If Wrex is acting as your battlemaster, you should formally approach him about training you to thank him. I have talked with Wrex, though he is loath to admit it, his culture and species means a great deal to him. He is worried that in a few centuries, krogan culture will be all but extinct. He has asked me endless questions about the protheans regarding this. At first I thought he was merely pandering to my own interests to make idle conversation, but now I think that Wrex want's to know the best ways to preserve his own heritage, should a cure for the genophage never be found."

"Wow… That's… That's a lot to think about Liara. Thank you."

Tali's mind spun. Her own people had lost a great deal of their own culture when they fled their planet. So much of Rannoch's history and traditions were gone, probably lost to the quarians forever. Though new traditions arose, a people with no past seemed to be in dire peril of losing their future as well. For Wrex, preserving his culture so that it lasted beyond his people, even by training a young quarian, was something that meant a great deal to the battle hardened old warrior.

"Liara is right Tali," Garrus affirmed, nodding, "Wrex probably sees you as someone who might be able to let the krogan live on when the genophage takes its toll, their fighting moves are some of their most sacred traditions to a krogan."

Tears came to Tali's eyes. "Thanks, you two. Having friends like you and Wrex… I never thought anyone would who wasn't a quarian would ever treat me like a real person."

Liara blushed, and Garrus's mandibles twitched in embarrassment.

Speaking slowly, Liara said, "Tali, I admit that our species have not always been as… Welcoming to the quarians as we might have been. We feared you when you experimented with the geth, and when you lost the geth rebellions it scared us. To often we react only to that fear when meeting quarians, not to who they are as individuals. I myself have never really gotten to know a quarian until I met you, but you have shown me that quarians are a vibrant people."

"Absolutely. When I was a C-Sec, the quarians I met were mostly youngsters like you on pilgrimage. Some of them were scum, trying to lie and steal and get whatever they could get their hands on."

Underneith the table, Tali's hands tightened into fists. "One of the C-Sec officers on the citadel called me a 'suit-rat.' You aren't the only turian that thinks my people are a bunch of thieves."

"Woah there, slow down, I wasn't finished." Garrus held up his hands in a gesture of peace. "Some of them were scum, yes, but so are some asari and turians. Most of them were honest, decent people, lost and alone for the first time in their lives. Hard working too, they could fix anything, and if not to many people tried to rip them off, they usually were able to make enough money to purchase a decent gift to bring back to the fleet. Quarians are like any other species; you can't define them by putting a hat on their whole species."

Before she could shut down her suits audio speakers, Tali started to sob. She had though Garrus arrogent and Liara distant, but here they were, affirming their status as her shipmates. She had never felt so happy and revealed.

A human hand rested on Tali's shoulder. "Hey, you two giving poor Tali a hard time?"

The voice was not Shepards, but Kaiden Alenko's. The human officer was always polite around Tali, and unlike Ashley Tali had the sense Kaiden respected her, abet formally and as a member of the ship's crew. They hadn't talked much, but Tali sort of liked him.

"No, sniff, Lieutenant, they were actually being very nice to me. I just… I never imagined I could join an alien ship and feel like a part of her crew."

Liara reached her hands across the table and took Tali's in her own, rubbing Tali's wrists to comfort her.

"We were just telling Tali how much she meant to us actually. I can see quarian women are just like turian women, start to talk about your emotions and its all water works." Garrus said, though Tali could tell from his tone he was being playful and trying to cheer her up.

"Ah. I understand." Alenko sat down next to Tali. "When I first met aliens, I thought they were all a bunch of arrogant pricks myself. But just like you, I learned that just because someone wasn't human, or quarian in your case, didn't mean they weren't all against me. Some are really good people, ah, even if they aren't really your kind of people."

Hiccupping slightly, Tali nodded as she tried to calm down. "Thanks. I never imagined I would count a human, a turian, an asari and even a _Hamlet_ reading krogan among my best friends."

Everyone else started as Alenko started laughing so hard he nearly fell off the bench.

"What? What is so amusing? I have heard of _Hamlet _before, is it not a play by the famous human, William Shakespeare?" Liara asked, slightly confused.

Shaking his head and getting himself under control, Alenko shook his head. "Oh no, you're right. What you don't know, and no one but a human would, is that _Hamlet_ was the favorite play of a fictional race of aliens in a fictional human vid series. Ashley gave it to Wrex as a joke. Klingon's had a reputation as being quick to violence, none too bright, and obsessed with 'warrior's code' just like krogan. She never thought Wrex would actually LIKE it. Now she's out one of her favorite books, and she's too embarrassed to ask for it back because Wrex loves the thing so much, he's on his third read!"

Upon hearing the explanation, Tali, Garrus and Liara found themselves chuckling too.

"A krogan with an appreciation for human poetry? Who knew. Maybe we should get Wrex in for a viewing of the elcor version when were on the citadel." Garrus said, his mandibles pulled up in a smile.

This only served to make Alenko completely lose it again.

"Alas poor Yorik, I knew thee well. A fellow of infinite jest and..." Liara stopped, blushing, as she had managed to reduce Garrus and Tali to gails of laughter as well with her perfect, dead pan impression of an elcor.

"What's so damn funny? You all see a varren in a dress?" Wrex said, stepping off the elevator with his copy of Hamlet in his hands.

The only answer he got was a human, a quarian, an as asari and a turian all laughing helplessly.

"Bunch of drunk pyjaks." Wrex growled, grabbing some food and retreating back toward the elevator.

"Wait Wrex, I'm coming down as well." Tali said, managing to control her laughter as she boarded the elevator with Wrex.

"Hmph. What was wrong with them?" Wrex asked, tearing off a hunch of dried meat.

"Just the thought of elcor acting." Tali said before she thought better of it.

"Uh huh." Wrex eyed Tali suspiciously. She had forgotten he was there when the advertisements of elcor performing Hamlet were all over the Citadel. Canny as always, Wrex could put two and two together to figure out that everyone else probably thought him reading Hamlet was pretty damn funny, and the thought of him seeing an elcor perform Hamlet would be even funnier.

"Anyway," Tali said hurriedly, " I wanted to thank you. For acting as my battlemaster."

"Now wait just a minute!" Wrex said, almost dropping his food in surprise.

"I mean, I really appreciate you teaching me all those combat tricks. Coming from someone like you, it means a lot to me." Tali hurridly added.

Recovering, Wrex chuckled. "Well, I can see you mean no offense. I was half joking when I said I was playing battlemaster, but I didn't expect you to know what it meant." He eyed Tali, carefully chewing on his food. "Well, you might not be a krogan, but I can think of worse people to train. But don't call me battlemaster. It's a position I have not earned."

Tali nodded, seeing that Wrex was taking it very seriously. "What if I called you Uncle? It's a term of affection among quarians, it means more than just familiar relations. Someone who takes you under their wing, teaches you. Like my Auntie Raan did for me when I was setting out on my pilgrimage."

Wrex turned away, and Tali thought she had glimpsed a look of deep emotion in the krogan's face.

"Yeah. Sure. Whatever you want, little quarian."

On impulse, Tali hugged Wrex. She was surprised to feel one of Wrex's arms patting her shoulder when the door opened. Standing there was Ashley, who proceeded to remind Tali that the galaxy was not a perfect place.

"Ugh. Get a room you two." She said, and pushed passed the krogan and quarian to take the elevator up.

Tali giggled a bit, and held back a suddenly angry Wrex from slamming his fist into the Alliance soldier.

"Let it go Wrex. As long as us outcasts stick together, who needs people like her?"

Looking at the closing elevator, Wrex nodded. "I guess your right little quarian. Maybe this old warrior has a thing or two to learn from you."

Tali couldn't get anything else from Wrex that day, but she checked the video feed from the cargo bay a couple times, and she noticed Wrex was smiling as he read his play. She smiled too. Maybe Commander Shepard wasn't the only one she had who she cared about on the _Normandy_.

_Unna'Karis: Was Ashley William's really that bad? She's remember as a hero._

_Tali'Zorah: I don't want you to get the wrong impression. I was young, vulnerable, and out for on my own for the first time. I was… Sensitive. _

_UK: But still, the picture you paint of her is rather horrible._

_TZ: At first she was, yes. But she changed._

_UK: Changed? How? _

_TZ: Easy. Shepard. He helped her see aliens were more than a conduit for her own demons. It took time, but we all did a lot of growing on that first cruise on the Normandy. Shepard was still learning how to be in command on his own, and it was a new experience for everyone._

_UK: Except possibly Wrex, I cannot imagine, you, tutored by the great krogan leader!_

_TZ: To me hes still Uncle Wrex. We still keep in touch._

_UK: Still though, it's hard to imagine the Great Shepard as anything other than the experienced savior of the galaxy we see in the vids. _

_TZ: Even for me it is, at times. But life is not like in the vids, even if Shepard was more handsome then any of the actors who ever played him. Let me tell you about when I really got to know Shepard. When I really saw the man he was, and how he got there._

Authors Note:

Thanks to those who pointed out that it was not Tali'Zorah nar Rael. I was listening to the game, and I assumed she was refering to her father, not her birth ship. That mistake has been corrected, and should not appear again.


	4. Chapter 3: Strength and Weakness

_Unna'Karis: For being such a famous hero, I suppose not much is known about Shepards life. Before Saren, there is simply a list of missions and commendations. Not much personal information._

_Tali'Zorah: There is a reason for that. For being such a public hero, Shepard was actually a very private person. He felt more at home in a small setting, like his ship, then out in public. It was a very quarian attitude. _

_UK: You also said he was reluctant to show others his face without the mask, as we would say. _

_TZ: Yes, he was. You had to be able to read him, which was difficult. Once you knew the motivations behind him though, something amazing happened._

_UK: What was that?_

_TZ: You realized his mask wasn't an act. It was who he really was. I learned that on Ontarom._

_**Chapter 3: The Greatest Strength in Weakness**_

Tali's omnitool buzzed. "Tali, grab your gear and meet me and Wrex at the Mako in 15 minutes. We've got an urgent priority mission."

Tali didn't have much to grab, so she headed straight to the Mako. Wrex was already there, idly checking his weapons.

"Little Tali." Wrex nodded.

"Uncle Wrex." Tali replied.

While the krogan was not much for talking, Tali had been surprised at just how caring and insightful Wrex had been. Krogan had a reputation for being all muscle and no brains, but Wrex had a keen mind tempered by hundreds of years of experience. Tali was not sure just how old Wrex was, but she was sure he was ancient, even for the long lived krogan. Over that lifetime Wrex had gathered more combat experience then almost anyone else in the galaxy. And he had passed some of those tricks to Tali, taking her under his experienced wing.

"You keeping in mind what I showed you?" Wrex growled.

Tali rolled her eyes behind her mask. "Yes, Uncle Wrex. I've been keeping my stance open and making sure I don't tense up as much. How are those mods I made for you working out?"

Wrex grunted. "Just fine little Tali. I don't think I've ever shot fleche ttes as sharp as the ones your mods make. Should make whatever we come up against bleed out nice and quick."

Tali had to suppress a shudder. Krogan were by far the most blood thirsty species she had run across, and Wrex was no exception. However, that blood thirst did not make Wrex any less of a friend.

Shepard came off the elevator, a hard expression on his face. He was already suited up, and strode over to Tali and Wrex.

"A few days ago, we received an urgent message from Admiral Hackett. Over the past few months, someone has been killing top Alliance scientists. Until now there we no leads, no clues as to what was linking the killings, except for one thing: On each body, someone carved "Akuze" into the scientists' foreheads."

Tali started. "But Shephard, that's…"

He nodded. "Yes. It is."

Wrex looked back and forth between the two smaller humanoids. "Something I need to know about, Shepard?"

"It's where my platoon was wiped out by thresher maws. There were dozens, and we had no vehicles, no heavy weapons. It was believed I was the only survivor." Shepard replied, his face grim.

Wrex grunted in surprise. "You tangled with a couple dozen 'maws and survived? I've taken down one maw myself, but that many? You were lucky to get out alive, Shepard."

"Yeah. I know I was blessed, but damn me if I felt that way at the time." Shepard shook his head and Tali was again reminded that under that charming, happy exterior, Shepard was a man with some serious demons in his past.

"You said it 'was believed' you were the only survivor. You think that these killings are might be from someone else who made it?" Tali asked.

Shepard nodded darkly. "Yes. And we believe they are hiding out in the Newton system, on Ontarom. One of the scientists, a Dr. Wayne, had a panic button and tracker on him. From the data were getting, he might even still be alive."

"Nice. And you have the chance to stop whoever is killing these bastards off so you can get some revenge of your own!" Wrex bashed his fists together in anticipation.

"No Wrex. Remember what I told you after Fist. Revenge isn't our priority. Finding some answers is."

Chuckling, Wrex nodded. "Sure Shepard. Whatever you say."

"Let's go people, ETA 5 minutes." Shepard said, patently ignoring the knowing look Wrex was giving him.

Tali boarded the Mako and felt her heart rise up to her throat. She felt a little nervous every time she dropped in the cramped combat vehicle. She knew it was perfectly safe, and that Joker was one of the best pilots she had ever seen. That still didn't change the fact she was dropping in a metal box at high speeds onto an unknown planet. But that wasn't the worst part.

"Here we go!" Shepard called, and the falling sensation made Tali glad she hadn't eaten yet that day.

The thrusters kicked in, and the sensation of weightlessness gradually stopped. Tali tensed. Now came the really bad part.

"YEAH! Punch it Shepard!" Wrex roared, climbing up to the turret he would man for the mission.

There were many words to describe Commander Shepards driving. Manic, insane, reckless, nauseating and terrifying were just a few. As the mako jolted over the terrain, Tali found herself beginning to understand why many beings were religious. Keelah, she felt closer to the ancestors just BEING in the same mako as Shepard and a krogan who seemed to think that it wasn't a good ride without at least a few death defying stunts. And neither Wrex nor Shepard seemed to know what "brakes" were.

"Oof!" Tali slammed into Shepards back after a particularly nasty, Wrex referred to it as "decent", landing from jumping right off a cliff.

"Enjoying the ride Tali?" Shepard called, obviously enjoying himself.

For once, Tali was not glad to have Shepard's eyes on her. "Watch where were going please, Shepard." Tali groaned.

"What's the matter little quarian? Can't handle a few bumps?" Wrex shouted, grinning wildly.

"Oh you would enjoy this wouldn't you, you bosh'tet of a krogan."

"Funny Liara says pretty much the same thing when I bring her along." Shepard mused.

"And what does Ashley say?" Tali said, half dreading the answer.

"HAW! She doesn't let Shepard drive!" Wrex said.

"Smart girl." Tali muttered, for once respectful of Ashley's intellect.

"That's enough you two, the signals coming from that old mine over the next ridge." Shepard said, and Tali couldn't help but notice an unusual reddening of his cheeks.

Was he embarrassed, or just in love? Tali hoped it was the former, but was fairly certain it was the latter. She had seen both of them get pretty "handsey" with each other, far more then military guidelines surely deemed appropriate, even in the human military. If they were quarian, she would think they were linking their suit environments, but she was pretty sure humans didn't do things that way. Quarians were very cautious when it came to "fluid exchange," as being incautious was a good way to make one or both of the participants mortally ill. Tali new just about everything there was to know about the theoretical side of sex, but she was lacking in practical experience. It wasn't exactly forbidden, but it was very frowned upon to "link suits" with someone from your birth ship, as it was almost like kissing your cousin to the tight knit quarians.

She shook herself. Now was not the time to get lost in fantasies. It was time to get her shot gun ready.

"Multiple hostiles!" She called, highlighting the contacts on the radar that linked to the gun.

"I see 'em." Wrex growled, and opened up with the chain gun and cannon.

The mercs returned fire, but despite having some rocket launchers that would have crippled any civilian craft, they didn't have enough firepower to even bring down the mako's shields. Shepards driving was insane by anyone's standards, but on the battlefield you were graded on surviving, and his antics managed to confuse and avoid most of the incoming fire.

"HAW HAW! Took that pyjak's head clean off!" Wrex roared, his eyes bright and excited.

Tali tried to not look, but the view screen clearly showed a turian body flopping to the ground, sans head.

"Nice shooting Wrex." Shepard called, and Tali nodded weakly. At least that particular mercenary wouldn't be trying to kill her anymore.

"That's the last of them, the rest retreated inside." Tali called when the last helpless merc dived straight into a cannon blast.

"Then let's dig those stupid varren out." Wrex hooted enthusiastically.

Parking the mako behind a mostly intact crate, the squad climbed out and made their way up the access ramp.

"Didn't even have time to lock the door." Tali noted, waving her omnitool to open the portal.

"They weren't expecting us. We need to hit them hard and fast if we're going to keep Dr. Wayne alive." Shepard stated, and the squad descended into the mining shaft.

Underground fighting suited Tali. It was close quarters and cramped, just like the ships back home. While she never wanted to fight a battle on a ship in the migrant fleet, pirates, raiders, and the worst nightmare of all, geth, were always a threat. Endless combat drills in those tight quarters had prepared Tali just as well for the cramped underground battle she now waged. In an area this small, her shotgun was the deadliest weapon on the battlefield.

Despite the lack of time to prepare, the mercs were waiting for Shepard's squad when they opened the door to the main chamber, little good that it did them though. Shepard opened the door and tossed a grenade through, which Wrex followed up with a massive biotic singularity which trapped several hapless mercs. They made easy pickings for Tali's explosions, which sent them flying across the room. Two down.

Covered by fire from Shepard's assult rifle, Tali dashed toward a merc trying to take advantage of his shields to draw a bead on the Commander. His choice of weapons proved poor, as Tali's shotgun nearly took the poor salarian's arm off before he could bring his weapon to bear on his new opponent.

One of the mercs threw a grenade, and Tali dodged behind an outcropping, separating her from Wrex and Shepard. She stood just in time to see a krogan merc, not as large as Wrex, but still intimidatingly huge to Tali, point his shotgun at her. By reflex, she knocked his gun aside with the barrel of her own gun and drew her knife in one swift motion, planting the blade in the krogans chest.

"RRRRAHHHHGGG!" Bellowing in rage, the krogan easily plucked out the knife, but distraction gave Tali just enough time to blast away with her shot gun. It took three blasts, but then the krogan was down.

Ear's ringing, it took Tali a moment to realize the din of battle had quieted.

"Little Tali!" Wrex ran up behind her, and she turned just in time to see a look of genuine concern and terror on his face.

"I'm OK, Uncle Wrex." Tali said faintly, the adrenaline rush from the battle leaving her made Tali feel weak and tired. It hadn't lasted more than a minute, but she felt as though she had run a marathon.

"Damn, your one tough little varren!" Wrex said, slapping her on the back. "When I saw that big bruiser heading for you, I thought you were finished for sure."

Bending over, Wrex plucked the knife out of the dead krogan's hand. "I see you remembered what I taught you. Good work. You make me proud to be your battlema- Your uncle."

He handed the knife back to Tali. "Were you a krogan, I would declare you a blooded warrior of Clan Urdnot."

Carefully taking the knife and wiping it dry on a rag she used mostly on engine parts, Tali nodded. "I thank you, Uncle Wrex my not-battlemaster."

Wrex turned away, and Tali thought she saw a buildup of moisture in his eye. Did krogan cry? Could they biologically? She didn't know.

"Dr. Wayne isn't here." Shepard said, coming over to the others as he swapped out thermal clips on his assault rifle. "The rock is interfering with the signal, but I think he's somewhere in this mine. Fan out, but stay in visual contact."

They spread out, checking the various mine shafts for possible holdouts.

"Tali," Shepard's voice crackled over the comm on a private channel, "I heard what you and Wrex said. I want you to know, as your superior officer, I'm proud of you. He might not ever tell you, but you mean a great deal to Wrex, and what you said to him back there touched him."

Tali's heart glowed. Shepard was proud of her. Sure, it was just as captain of her ship, but he noticed her. And she was making him proud.

"Thanks, Shepard." She said, then noticed the mine shaft she was peering down had a glowing green light at the end. Shifting to the public frequency, she called, "Over here, I think I found something."

Wrex approached and sniffed the air. "Yep, humans down there. Doesn't smell like they are dead either."

"Then we take this nice and easy." Shepard ordered, "I don't want Dr. Wayne in a state where he can't answer questions."

"You gonna tickle him until he talks?" Wrex asked with a grin.

"On me." Shepard said, ignoring the question.

They all crouched by the door, and Shepard did a count down on his fingers. Three, two, one. They burst through the door, and found a man in muddied and battered researchers robes kneeling before a man in old and dented alliance armor who was pointing a gun at the scientists head.

Shepard nearly dropped his gun in shook. "Toombs?"

The man whirled, pointing his gun at Shepard. The commander stepped infront of Wrex and Tali, putting his gun away as he stepped forward.

"Toombs, is that really you?" Shepard asked again.

"No no no no no your not real your not real, your just voices always the voices always talking your not real I watched you die die die die get eaten by them no no no not real." Toombs muttered, the gun in his hand shaking so violently Tali was worried it could go off at any time.

"Thank heaven you're here!" Cried the scientist. "This mad man and his group of thugs kidnapped me. He's clearly insane! Shoot him and get me out of here."

"SHUT UP!" Roared Shepard, and both Tali and Wrex flinched in surprise. They had never seen their Commander angry before, and he was furious now.

Gently pushing Toomb's gun aside, Shepard placed a calming hand on the panicked Toombs shoulder. "It's me, 1st Lieutenant Shepard. Christ man, I thought you were dead!"

"Shepard? It's really you? Your not… Your not one of the voices?" Toombs asked, his lips pale and trembling.

"It's me, Corporal. It's really me." Shepard said, his voice choked with emotion.

Tali placed a gentle hand on Wrex, who was tense in the presences of a situation that wasn't going to be resolved with biotics or guns.

"It's one of his old men." She said on a private frequency between the two of them.

Wrex grunted, and put away his shotgun, though he kept a wary eye on the still armed Toombs.

"It was him!" Toombs suddenly shouted, whirling back to point his gun at the scientist that had to be Dr. Wayne. "He was there! He is one of THEM. They called the thresher maws! They were the ones who listened to our screams as those demons tore us to shreds. They found me, and they took me!"

He turned back to Shepard, his face now pleading. "Why didn't you rescue me Lieutenant? Why didn't you come back for me."

Stumbling back as if physically hit, Shepard's face was a picture of torment and anguish. "Corporal, if I thought for a second, if it even crossed my mind that you were alive, I would have come back for you. I tried to get Muhammad out alive, but he bled out on me before rescue could arrive. I thought…" Shepard's voice broke, and tears started streaming down his face, "I thought I was the only on alive."

Toombs nodded mournfully. "So did I. I thought you were the lucky ones." He turned back to Dr. Wayne, giving the man a vicious kick in the ribs. "These… These monsters tortured me! They called themselves Cerberus, they poked and prodded, ran tests, exposed me to thresher acid to see my bodies reactions! For years they did this to me! But I got out, oh yes I got out. And I've taken my revenge, one demon at a time."

Pulling out a blood caked blade that looked like it was pitted with acid, Toombs lept forward, and forced the now pleading Dr. Wayne to look up at him. "But now theres just one left!" The light of madness burned in the soldiers eyes, and he offered the knife to Shepard.

"Here, Lieutenant. I've had my share. Carve the names of our dead brothers and sisters into his head, so that he won't be the only one who hears the screams of the dead."

Shepard took the blade, and glaced down at Dr Wayne, who had now pissed himself and was lying in a pool of his own urine.

"It was for humanity! It was for the good of all! Please, you must understand, we didn't mean-"

"Oh, you meant it." Shepard said, his voice cold and dead.

"Gut this pyjak." Wrex growled. "It would be an insult to call him a varren turd."

Tali wanted to say something, wanted to do something, anything to stop the madness. But how could she? The thought of someone killing everyone on the Rayya, of torturing her shipmates until they were broken, mad, and desperate like this man had done to Shepard and his men? She would want to carve her vengeance in their skulls too.

Shepard raised the knife, and brought it down with all his might. Toombs laughed in mad delight, Wrex roared, the doctor screamed, and Tali looked away, unable to see her captain become a monster.

Silence, then. "What. The. Screaming. Bloody. Hell." Wrex said, his voice full of shock and disbelief.

Uncovering her eyes and looking up, Tali could only say. "By the ancestors…"

Shepard held the doctor on his feet, tears streaming down his face, his suit wet with the mans piss. But he was not torturing the man from Cerberus, he was embracing him.

"I forgive you." Whispered Shepard. "God damn you, I forgive you."

"You, you what?" Dr Wayne said, dumbfounded.

The pistol in Toombs hands clattered to the floor, and Shepard dropped the shocked scientist and embraced his former comrade.

"Let it go soldier. Let it go. Forgive him. Show him mercy." Shepard said, as the two warriors embraced each other and sobbed.

"How, how can I?" Tombs asked, his breath coming in ragged sobs.

"Give it to God. Where ever he is. It's the only way to ever make the voices stop." Shepard whispered.

"Alright. I'll try. Damn you Lieutenant, I'll try." Toombs wept.

It was a solemn party that made their way outside to the waiting Normandy. Tali was thoughtful, awestruck. Here was a man who had his enemy in his power, an enemy that had caused him more pain and suffering than any other living being. Tali had fully expected to hear Dr Wayne scream, to beg and plead for mercy while Shepard slowly killed him. But instead, Shepard had forgiven. Shown mercy. At this very moment, he was helping his limping enemy aboard his own ship.

At that moment, Tali's girlish crush faded, gone forever. In its place was a love, a respect, a longing for Shepard she didn't even think was possible before. She no longer wanted Shepard because he had shown her respect, or because she found his anatomy attractive. Now she wanted Shepard because he had more love inside him then she thought existed in the galaxy, and she wanted to know that love. She felt tears running down her face, tears full of pent up emotion she didn't even know how to express.

Waiting for the team on the ramp was Ashely, who embraced Shepard. "I'm proud of you, Commander. Oh so proud." She whispered into his ear.

"Thanks, Ash." Shepard said, his body sagging in weariness. "For a minute there, I was ready to carve every last one of my soldier's names in that bastard's forehead."

Ashley nodded. "But you didn't. And that's why I love you."

The aforementioned bastard gulped, and almost sprang into the arms of the stone faced marines that lead him none-too-gently to the brig.

Ash put a comforting arm around Toombs as well. "Hey soldier. You OK?"

"I guess. I think. I don't know." Toombs mumbled, his eyes glassy, staring at faces that only he and Shepard could see with their waking eyes.

"Come to the medical bay with me soldier. Dr. Chakwas keeps a special supply of emergency brandy for times like this. Sometimes you need Jesus, and sometimes you need to get drunk. I think right now, it's time to get drunk." Shepard said, and between Ashley and Shepard, they helped Toombs to the medical bay.

Wrex starred after them, then shook his head and turned to Tali. "Little quarian, remember what you saw today. Today you saw a true warrior. I thought I was one, hell, I thought I was the best. But this old warrior learned something today. Something that maybe, one day can lead to my people being at peace at last."

With that, the old krogan walked over to his corner, and began methodically cleaning his weapons, his back to the world.

Tali turned to go back to engineering, but was stopped by Liara coming off the elevator.

"I saw the Commander and Chief Williams. Joker told me what happened. Are you… Are you alright?" She asked Tali, a comforting hand on her soldier.

"No." Tali said, her eyes staring at the elevator that the commander had gone up.

"Goddess I…" Liara blushed, "That is, I know what you are feeling, Tali."

Tali looked at the asari. "Do you?" She asked mournfully.

Liara nodded. "Yes. I do. But I can't feel jealous. Chief Williams has her flaws, but… But the Commander loves her, and not me."

Tali stood, dumbfounded. Had she been that transparent? Then she put an arm around Liara's shoulder's. "Well, aren't we just a couple of crazy, love struck bosh'tets. I think we should take the commander's advice."

Liara placed her own arm around Tali's shoulder's. "About what?"

"He said something about there being a time for Jeebus, and a time for getting drunk. I don't know what a Jeebus is, and I've never been drunk, but right now I desperately want to be."

Liara giggled. "Appropriate, Jesus of Nazareth is a human mythological figure who was renowned for his ability to turn mundane liquids into alcoholic substances."

"Well, do we happen to have any of his work aboard this ship?" Tali asked, trying to keep herself from either crying or laughing.

"I don't think so, my research indicates he was a mythological figure as I said, and his handiwork was-" Liara paused and Tali broke down laughing. "- and now I realize you were joking. Let's go find 'Jeebus's work ourselves."

The young women spent the rest of the evening in the mess hall, sampling Jesus's handiwork. Garrus had to be called up to bring Tali a bottle she could drink, and though he didn't ask too many questions, he was more than willing to find Jesus himself.

Later that night, Tali was stumbling to the rest pods, her head felt like it was made of mush and for some reason everything was hilarious. Liara was passed out on the table, and Garrus was regaling no one about the importance of "calibrations." She stumbled over a rivet that was CLEARLY sticking to far out, and found herself caught by Ashley Williams.

"Well damn Tali, I though the Commander and Corporal Toombs were wasted. What did you have to forget?"

"Shhhh. It's a secret." Tali whispered, giggling.

"Right." Ashley said, clearly not impressed. "Anyway, I'll probably have to repeat myself when you're not drunker then a FNG on her first shore leave, but I wanted to tell you now so I get it out."

Ashley took a deep breath, and then spoke slowly as she helped Tali to a pod. "I wanted to ask you to forgive me. I've been a bit of a bitch to you and the other aliens, and it wasn't right. If the Commander can find a way to forgive a monster like Dr. Wayne… I can forgive you for something you never did to me or my family. I was wrong for treating you like scum. There. I said it. Sleep tight."

"You too, you little bosh'tet." Tali muttered. Despite how drunk she was, when she woke, she remembered. And she found she no longer hated Ashley, despite her best efforts.

_Unna'Karis: That… That's amazing. I never knew the Commander was so forgiving. Or that his history with Cerberus went that far back. _

_Tali'Zorah: It was not a side of him that people often saw, but it was integral to his ability to bring races together. His own love for others, his own mercy and compassion, his own desperate need for grace was what let him unite the races like he did. They saw that love in him in a way, similar to how I did. It was why so many were willing to die for him._

_UK: It also ended up being something that would bite him in the back, wouldn't it?_

_TZ: Yes, it would. It would end up hurting him deeply over the years. Love that much, and someone will throw it back in your face. I know, it happened to me to a few times over the years. But that doesn't mean you should stop loving. _

_UK: Wow. So did the commander ever…?_

_TZ: That part comes later. Something I didn't know when I was your age, the journey, how you get somewhere, is just as important as where you are going. _

_Author's note:_

_No, thermal clips were not in Mass Effect 1. But it makes no damn sense from a non-gameplay perspective to start using thermal clips when previously you had essentially unlimited ammo. Rate of fire my ass. More like frictionless materials was broken (but not as broken as toxic rounds!). _


	5. Chapter 4: Roller Coaster

_Unna'Karis: Tell me some more about life on the original Normandy. After the original shock of coming aboard a new ship, what did you think?_

_Tali'Zorah: Well, the original Normandy, as well as the second Normandy, was the most advanced ship at the time. It would be years before any other vessels quite like it were constructed. It was also one of the most diverse ship crews in history. So many on that ship would go on to have such famous careers, and all of them are remembered as heros._

_UK: Including yourself, Lady Tali. _

_TZ: (laughs) Yes, including me. At the time though, we didn't feel like heroes. _

_UK: What did you feel like?_

_TZ: Shipmates, but more. It's hard to explain, but the bonds aboard the original Normandy and the later Normandy were strong. We were like a family, with little squabbles, jokes, and secrets. It's one thing I miss about not living on a ship anymore, being that close to so many people I loved. _

Chapter 4: Roller Coaster

"Come on you stupid bosh'tet of a capacitor!" Tali growled, resisting the urge to slam her wrench into the machinery to dislodge it.

"What seems to be the problem, Miss nar Rayya?" Chief Engineer Adams asked, his head peering down into the maintenance access Tali was laying half in and out of.

"This capacitor isn't properly discharging when we discharge the drive core, and I can't seem to get it loose to figure out what the problem is!"

Adam's rubbed his chin. "Hmmm. Let me try."

"Gladly." Wriggling out of the shaft and handing Adam's the wrench. "You give it a try."

Adam's stuck his arm in, and a loud clang reverberated from the shaft. The chief engineer then with-drew the now slightly dented capacitor in his hands.

"This the one?" He asked, grinning at Tali.

"Er, yes. I was trying to avoid damaging it; I think I can still repair it though." Tali said, carefully taking the capacitor as if it were a baby.

Adam's chuckled. "I'm sure you could, but why bother? Remember Tali, were not on the Migrant Fleet anymore. We have dozens of those in the replacement section. Just recycle it and we can get more at our next supply stop."

Tali felt herself blushing underneath her mask. Getting used to a quiet, clean, new ship was one thing. Getting used to not having to repair everything and treat each damaged good as if it were irreplaceable was another. On Alliance frigate, especially the most advanced one in the galaxy with the first human SPECTRE aboard, a capacitor was easily replaced. On the migrant fleet, simply throwing out an old part was an almost unheard of sin. With so many different types of ships and so little resources, the capacitor would really have been irreplaceable on the migrant fleet. However, the Chief Engineer was right; this was an Alliance ship, and new capacitors they had plenty of.

"Aye aye, sir." Tali said, sketching a salute and turning to go recycle the capacitor.

To her surprise, Adam's stepped in front of her and took the capacitor from her. "Allow me Tali. I wanted to ask you about what you think about redistributing the power supply on the life-support. You mentioned you thought we could get a 10% increase in cycle speed with a 7% lower power draw, which could increase our time running quiet by as much as 5%."

Tali lit up and started explaining how the system could be improved with a few adjustments. Adam's listened to her seriously as they walked to the recycling hatch, nodding as she used her omni-tool to bring up the schematics she had designed, and using a grease stained finger to point out a few adjustments that could make her modifications even more efficient.

Unlike most of the rest of the human crew of the Normandy, the chief engineer had welcomed Tali from the start. He had been even more enthusiastic about Tali coming aboard then even Shepard had been after a single glance at the custom mods she had installed on her suit and omni-tool. He had recognized the craftsmanship and genius Tali had, and immediately put her to work in the engineering bay.

Some of the other ships officers, like XO Pressly the navigator, had expressed reserves about Tali having access to the most advanced drive core and stealth system in the galaxy. Shepard had been quick to defend Tali, but not as quick as Adam's had.

"We've got the best damn engine in the fleet, and I'll be damned if I turn down the best damn engineer in the fleet, _Navigator_ Pressly. " Adams had growled. "Kindly leave me to running my own damned department."

Tali had got the feeling that if there had been a way to slam the comm button to disconnect, Adams would have done that, but he had satisfied himself with cutting the connection before Pressly could respond.

"Don't you listen to those monkeys up on the bridge." Adams had told Tali later on, "The Commander says you're OK, and I say you're OK. The rest of those idiots know about as much about taking care of this old girl as my grandmother does. You're the best engineer I have ever seen, and I've seen quite a few of them. I don't care what color your blood is, and you work for me."

At first the other engineers had been a bit leery of having Tali around, but they had quickly come to accept that she was, informally at least, the senior engineer after Adams once they saw just how talented the quarian protégée was. Though outside the chain of command, the others made a point of referring to Tali as "ma'am" and treating her suggestions like orders. Tali also knew that her suggestions had made quite a few improvements to the Normandy's efficiency, and did her best to return the respect the others showed her.

After he finished reviewing Tali's plans for the life support system, Adam's made a copy on his own omni-tool. "Good work Miss nar Rayya, I'll have the crew get to work on this immediately. You've been on for your 12 hours already, dismissed."

"Aye aye, sir." Tali said, and sketched another salute. Adam's returned the gesture, abet far more smartly and strode off.

Twelve hour shifts were another change for Tali, on the migrant fleet you worked until you were done, and sometimes a little bit longer. Personal time and relaxation were somewhat foreign concepts when every moment was precious to keep you and your family from literally being sucked into the void. Though it was cramped by the standards of anyone not used to living aboard ship, the Normandy was spacious and luxurious by military standards, and roomy and comfortable beyond imagining to a quarian.

In the cargo bay, Tali found Garrus on top of the Mako, adjusting the vehicles cannon.

"Calibrating again?" Tali asked, amused. Even by her exacting standards, Garrus spent a lot of time on the ships weapons systems.

"Yes, just about finished." Garrus said, closing the open panel and studying his omni-tool. Liking what he saw, Garrus jumped down and bowed for Tali.

"Ta-da. Now the only thing you have to worry about when you're out in that thing is Shepard's driving." Garuss smirked.

Groaning, Tali replied, "Somehow, that doesn't make me feel any better."

"Heh. Shepard does drive like a drunk krogan." Garrus agreed.

"I heard that. I'll have you know krogan drive as well as Shepard does when we're SOBER. When were drunk, were even better." Wrex called.

"Spirit's guide us." Garrus lamented, rolling his eyes and waggling his mandibles in exaggeration.

"Remind me to never let you drive Uncle Wrex." Tali called.

"Bah! Your just jealous that Shepard can drive like a krogan."

Tali shook her head. The idea of Shepard driving was bad enough, Wrex driving would probably result in the mako spontaneously exploding.

"Nightmares about driving aside, I'm heading up to get something to eat. Care to join me?" Tali asked Garrus.

"Thanks, but I'm going to go get cleaned up myself first. Not all of us have sanitary systems in our clothes. I envy you, the showers on human vessels are so weak I can't even feel them." Garrus whined, shaking his hands in mock consternation.

Tali snorted. "Easy for you to say, I wouldn't mind feeling water on my bare skin again, it's been months since I was in a decon chamber."

"Like I said, it's a hard lot not feeling your showers." Garrus said, his face a picture of saintly suffering.

Tali smacked him in response. "Bosh'tet turian," and strode over to the elevator.

She was surprised to find Ashley already at the table, and even more surprised when the Gunnery Chief motioned for Tali to sit down next to her.

Cautiously, Tali sat down next to Ashley as she inserted her feeding tube. "Ashley." She said neutrally. She still remembered, or thought she remembered anyway, she had been to drunk at the time to be sure, Ashley apologizing for her boorish behavior toward Tali.

"Hey. How's it going. Having fun down in engineering?" Ashley asked cheerfully.

Tali tried to read Ashley's expression, but found it difficult. Quarians relied on body language and inflection to communicate emotions, as well as being very clear with their words. She knew human's faces were the most expressive part of their body, but as quarians could do very little in the way of reading each other's faces Tali was still inexperienced at telling human's moods.

"Fine, Chief Engineer Adams and I just came up with a way to improve our life supports power draw while increasing the seed it cycles the air." Tali was a bit confused, in the past Ashley had seemed opposed to anyone not human being on the ship, much less becoming intimately acquainted with its most advanced and secret components.

"Great, that should help out a bunch." Ashley said, and went back to her meal of pasta.

Deciding it was time for a more direct approach, Tali inquired, "Is there something going on I should know about? You weren't much of a fan of me being in engineering before. What's with the sudden change?"

Ashley reddened, and put her fork down. "Well, uh, do you remember what I said to you a few days ago? After we brought Corporal Toombs aboard?"

Tali nodded. "Yes, though I admit I thought I was just drunk at the time."

Letting out a small sigh, Ashley grinned. "Yeah, you were pretty plastered. But I'm glad I don't have to repeat myself, one apology was hard enough to do. I guess… I guess I just want us to be friends. You know, were all in this together, even if we don't have the same color blood we still have each other's backs."

Letting out a small sigh of her own, Tali relaxed. "Well I'm glad that's where we stand. I would like us to be friends as well. Even if-" She cut herself off, hoping she didn't give to much away.

"-Even if I did get the Commander?" Ashley said, looking away.

"Yeah." Tali nerviously answered.

Turning back around, Ashley's face was serious. "Listen, we havn't done anything about it, and I'm not about to. The chain of command has to be respected, and my name is shit on enough lists as it is. But I do love the commander, and even if I am willing to be friends with aliens, I sure as hell ain't willing to give my man up to an alien just because of some stupid rule. If I have to strip naked and wave my chest in Shepard's face, I damn well will. I want him, love him more then anyone else in my entire life."

Tali nodded, and stretched her hand out, replicating the guesture Shepard had used when he first met her. "I know. And I'm glad Shepard has someone who cares that much about him."

After a moment, Ashley took Tali's hand, then leaned over and embraced the quarian. "Thanks, Tali," The soldier said huskily, "I just hope we all get through this so there can be a future for me and Shepard."

Patting Ashley's back, Tali forced back her own tears. "It would never work out anyway, dextro and levo species aren't biologically compatible anyway."

The two broke apart, nervously regarding each other.

Ashley broke the silence. "So, friends then?"

Tali nodded. "Friends."

The two women laughed, reluctantly at first, but then more freely.

"Make him happy, Ashley." Tali said, "He's a great captain, and every great captain needs a great partner beside them."

"I will. Thank you. Well, back to work. My after action reports won't file themselves." Ashley said, finishing her last few bits and heading back down to the cargo bay.

Tali sat alone, quietly sucking on her nutrient tube. She had thought making peace with the rival for her first love would have been much harder, but once she decided she was willing to forgive and let go, it had been almost easy. It still hurt, but she didn't hate.

Wrex stomped off the elevator as Tali sat musing, a dangerous gleam in his eye. "That varren dung of a female human giving you problems little Tali?" He growled. "As your Uncle, I think it would be appropriate if I smacked her around a bit if she's giving you problems, as I'm almost your clan-mate."

Tali started, realizing Wrex was mistaking her quiet contemplation for an insult or ingury from Ashely. "Oh, no Uncle Wrex! Just the opposite, we've agreed to be ship-mates and friends."

Wrex eyed Tali, trying to read her true feelings through her suit. For about the billionth time, Tali felt a pang of longing to one day forgo the suit that her face and emotions would be forever known to the world. No matter how convenient it was sometimes to hide behind a mask, the lack of clarity and trust it forced was far more painful.

"What happened, you two decide to mate with Shepard together?"

Tali jerked violently forward, choking on her meal. Wrex leaped over the table and slammed Tali's back, though she knew Wrex was being what he thought was gentle it was rather painful.

"No! Stop! No, no, nothing like that! What would make you even think we would do such a thing!" She stammered, half outraged that Wrex would suggest such a thing, half upset part of her saw it as attractive option.

Wrex shrugged. "Krogan do it all the time. Fertile females take as many mates as they want, and the men compete to be chosen. It's not unheard of for a group of males to decide to split the female if she's willing. Works out pretty good for everyone in my experience."

Tali did her best to violently scrub the image of krogan orgies from her mind. The thought of sharing Shepard with another was overall repulsive, and the realization that some small part of her would have been willing if that was what it took was even worse. Decent people just didn't do that sort of thing, one mate and one mate only was the only half sanitary way to do things. Among the quarians, adultery and multiple partners were almost unheard of, not just on moral grounds, but because of the risk of lethal cross contamination.

"That's not something I would ever do Wrex. Ever. And I don't want you trying to negotiate anything on my behalf with Ashley or Shepard." Tali lectured, wagging her finger in Wrex's face.

The krogan shrugged. "Suit yourself. Every species has its own mating habits. Not my fault if yours are picky. Krogan don't mind a little extra company when the urge hits us."

"Thanks for the lovely mental image Uncle Wrex." Tali said wryly. "If you don't mind, I'm going to see if I can find some industrial strength cleaner for my brain."

Wrex grunted and turned away to get his own food, and Tali stood and on a whim, walked into the medical bay.

She found Dr. Chakwas sitting at her desk, typing away at her counsel. The doctor looked up as she entered and smiled. "Hello Tali, what can I do for you? Need some more immuno-boosters? I just stocked up on dextro-amino supplements that are supposed to be very good for quarian health."

"No, nothing like that." Tali said, nervously rubbing her arm. "I was just wondering if you could tell me a few things about human biology."

Chakwas nodded and motioned for Tali to seat herself on a bed next to her. "Of course, it's a good idea to have a basic medical knowledge of all the species on this vessel. What would you like to know?"

Tali sat and tried to find a way to word her questions with out sounding like a pervert. "What are human… mating rituals… like?" Tali asked nervously, dry washing her hands as she did.

Instead of the look of shock or horror on Dr. Chakwas's face Tali expected, a knowing grin formed on her lips. "You know, you're the second member of our crew to ask me the very same question. Liara was curious as well."

Tali blushed behind her mask, she knew why Liara would want to know, and asari were famous even among the quarians for the openness about sex. "…Oh… Did she?"

"Indeed. I'll give you a similar explanation, though I have a few extra things you need to know because of your own unique biology."

Chakawas issued a few commands to the counsel, and two drawings of naked humans appeared, one male and one female. Tali found herself suddenly wondering if it was possible for her to ever be more embarrassed then she felt right then.

"From what I have gathered, human sexual organ's are almost identical to quarian organs of a similar nature. We both have breasts to nurse our young, give birth in the same manner, and mate in approximately the same fashion. The only difference is that from what I have gathered quarian testis are actually located where the human prostate is, and fill the role of both. Of course, quarian and human proteins are incompatible, and would likely be harmful to one another, so a latex barrier or the like would be necessary during any intimate act."

Tali coughed, and managed to stammer out, "I… I was referring more to the social customs, not the actual physical anatomy."

Chakwas nodded sagely. "Ah, of course. Though I must say, it is important to know the biological side of things as well." She made the pictures of the naked humans disappear, much to Tali's relief.

"Just like quarians, human's have many diverse cultures to draw mating rituals from, though unlike quarians we were never forced into such a small group that would allow those ritual's to be fairly standardized. I am going to go out on a limb here and guess that your more interested in the habits from the United North American States though." Chakwas stated matter of factly.

"Why that particular group?" Tali inquired.

"Because that is the group from which our esteemed Commander is descended from. From the state of Alberta in the former country of Canada, to be precise." Chakwas answered, a mischievous twinkle her eyes. "They also happen to be the mating rituals most commonly seen in a majority of human media on the galactic stage."

Tali realized that a moment ago, she had just thought she was embarrassed. She was ready to crawl into a ventilation shaft and die now. When she didn't contradict Chakwas, the doctor smiled and continued.

"Usually the man is the one who initiates courting, though it is not unheard of for a woman to ask the man. Typically time is spent together and there is a low level of physical contact, embraces, and possibly the touching together of lips, known as kissing."

"I have uh, seen humans doing that before." Tali said, getting up and pacing nervously.

"Mmmhmm. I really should remind the Commander and Gunnery Chief Williams about the fraternization policies, but I digress. If permanent relationship is to begin, usually an exchange of rings takes place. Again, typically this is initiated by the man, usually by him making some gesture of supplication such as kneeling and offering the woman her ring, though it is also not unheard of for the woman to propose."

"Ah, thanks Dr Chakwas, I think that just about covers everything I wanted to know." Tali said, and hurridly scrambed out of the med bay, bumping into someone as she left.

She looked up, and once again found new depths of embarrassment when she saw Shepards smiling face. "Easy there Tali, you don't want to get hurt coming out of the med bay do you?"

"I uh, um, oh Keelah!" Tali squeaked, and rushed out of the med bay to the elevator, ignoring Wrexes comments about her "running like a pyjak with a stolen meal bar."

Tali didn't stop until she was back in engineering, where she quickly made herself busy working on the cooling system.

"Didn't I tell you to get some rest?" Adams asked good naturedly when he found her.

"Er, yes. Got bored. Have to work now." Tali said, trying to forget about the carnavle of embarrassments she had just been through. How much had Shepard heard? What did Dr. Chakwas know? Was she ever going to be able to talk to any of them again?

Adams shrugged. "Ok, suit yourself. I won't complain if you want to put in some overtime, but don't expect to get paid for it." He walked away, chuckling at his own joke.

After a few minutes Tali thought she might not die of sheer embarrassment, only for an all too familiar voice to bring all the emotions rushing back.

"Hey Tali, you doing alright?" Shepard's voice carried a note of concern in it, and Tali was again reminded just how much he seemed to care about everyone under him.

She spun, and started babbling. "Shepard! How nice to see you here? You come down here often? Oh, of course you do, its your ship! Anyway, I'm fine, how are you? You look good, I mean healthy good, not good-good, not that you're not good-good. For a human, not that their anything wrong with that."

Shepard's eyebrows rose. "What? Tali, are you sure you're OK? You seemed like something was bothering you when I saw you coming out of the med bay, and now you're babbling nonsense."

Tali gulped. "Oh, uh, I was talking about proteins. Yes, proteins! I was worried that I might uh, have been exposed to some. Your proteins that is, not my proteins, my proteins are fine. How are yours?"

Shepard nodded as if he didn't believe her. "I see. Adams!" He shouted.

"Yes sir?" Adams replied, hustling over.

"I want Tali relieved of duty for the next 36 hours. She seems like she might be over worked and under a lot of stress, maybe been on to many missions lately."

Adams nodded. "I had actually already told her to go get some R&R sir, but she came back here before she was gone even an hour."

"Is that so Adams?" Shepard turned to Tali. "Tali, I know you're not technically in our chain of command, but you are hereby ordered to rest for the next 36 hours, no work. You got that?"

Inwardly, Tali groaned. Work was the one thing keeping her sane. To do nothing on a ship for 36 hours? That would be pure torture. But Shepard was telling her to take a break because he cared about her, so how could she refuse.

Dejectedly, she half saluted and said, "Aye aye, captain."

Shepard nodded. "Good, though its 'commander,' not 'captain.'" We should be putting in to Arcturus Station for orders and resupply in about 6 hours. I plan on being there for about 24 hours to give the crew some shore leave. I want you to spend as much of that as possible relaxing. There is plenty to do and see on Arcturus, so enjoy yourself. I'll have a special pass for you since you're not technically Alliance military, and make sure you get the pay your owed before we dock. Sound good?"

Tali nodded, relieved. "Yes commander. I'll feel prefect after that."

After her day, how embarrassing could Arcturus Station be?

_Unna'Karis: Sounds like your relationships aboard the Normandy were rather complicated. Falling in love with a human, gaining a krogan uncle, it must have been very odd._

_Tali'Zorah: Well, it may sound odd to you, but at the time nothing was more natural. I loved having a krogan in the family, and falling in love with Shepard was... Interesting._

_UK: Did Urdont Wrex seriously offer to broker a mating contract between you Shepard and Williams?_

_TZ: Yes, to my forever embarassment, he did. Though what Shepard did to me next was possibly even worse from my perspective. _


	6. Chapter 5: Holiday

_Unna'Karis: What were your impressions of the human seat of power?_

_Tali'Zorah: To be honest, at the time I didn't really even realize at was at the human seat of government. I hate to say it, but instead of spending my time learning about their leaders or government, I spent my time at Alliance headquarters visiting shops and bars. _

_Unna'Karis: That's still an important part of the culture though isn't it?_

_Tali'Zorah: Yes, it is. It was also one of the last times I was able to relax for a very, very long time._

Chapter 5: Holiday

"Archturus tower, this is the SSV Normandy, requesting permission to dock." Joker said over the comm as Archturus station neared.

Looking out the view port, Tali was impressed. It was not the size of the citadel and did not have its sleek beauty, but Archturus station was still massive. It looked like a five kilometer wide ring, rotating in the orangish light of the gigantic star.

"We read you, Normandy. You are expected; please proceed to docking bay E-23."

"Roger that, Arcturus tower." Joker responded.

"Your people built that before they ever discovered the citadel?" Tali asked.

"Mostly, we started construction about five years before the First Contact War, but we didn't finish it until six years later." Joker explained.

"Impressive, so you built it all on your own then, before you had counsel technology." Tali mused.

Joker nodded emphatically. "Damn right we did. You should see the vids of the turian's faces when they saw this place. They thought we were just a bunch of pansies they could kick around, but we gave them a good knock in the mandible."

Tali withheld the remark that if full scale war had taken place, humanity would have assuredly lost. Thanks to the intervention of the asari, total war had been averted and humanity had joined the galactic community mostly peacefully. The human military was one of the few that could claim it had beaten the turians in a straight up fight, even if the war had ended before the full might of the Hierarchy could be brought to bear. Quarian's couldn't claim to be a major military power, even with the largest fleet in the galaxy, and humanity could.

"Well I look forward to visiting it. Do you know if there's any good shops for parts or mods there?" Tali ventured.

Joker nodded. "Yeah, sure. I grew up here. I can show you around if you like, though you will have to excuse my hobbling. Even in lower grav, I still have a hard time."

"If you can excuse my enviro-suit and not being able to eat any of your food, why not?"

Joker half turned in his seat, and studied Tali a moment. "Huh. Maybe you know what it's like then."

"To be a sickly child that has to worry about every little scratch like it might be the end for you?" Tali asked.

Joker nodded and turned back around. "Yeah. Something like that. Although I was thinking more 'under-appreciated genius than disabled sympathy bag."

Tali groaned loudly. "At least my head isn't big enough to be used as landing signal."

"Hey, it's not my fault I'm the best and most handsome pilot in the galaxy. It just happened naturally."

"Maybe the most arrogant at least, but I'll take you up on the tour."

"Sure thing, though you will have to wait a while, I have to file a flight log and do a few check lists, shouldn't take me more than a few hours. Why don't you explore a bit then meet me at the officers club at 18:00 Zulu."

"Sure. Sounds great." Tali said, having learned the military jargon for local time.

When she stepped out of the air lock, Tali couldn't help but notice just how MANY ships were docked in the Alliance E dock. She saw quite a few frigates like the Normandy, and even a couple of cruisers. She gasped in awe at the sight of a massive dreadnaught, it had the word _Kilimanjaro _in letters almost larger than the Normandy was in its size, and it dwarfed every ship in the migrant fleet.

"Beautiful, isn't she?" A voice said behind her.

Tali turned to see an elderly human women in casual clothes smiling at her.

"Yes, it is. Bigger than any of the ships from home." Tali affirmed.

"You serving on the _Normandy_?" The woman asked.

"Oh, yes, I have my pass here." Tali said, showing the official document Shepard had given her.

The woman laughed and waved it away. "Don't worry about all that official stuff. Have you seen the _Normandy's _commander around?"

"Yes, he just left to go file his report with Admiral Hackett I believe." Tali said, and then blushed. "But that's probably some sort of military secret I shouldn't tell you about; I don't even know your name."

The woman laughed. "Probably, but I won't tell the batarians about it." She stuck out her hand. "My name is Hannah, I serve on the _Kilimanjaro_."

"I am Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, currently serving on the Normandy." Tali said, shaking Hannah's hand.

"Well Tali, would you mind if an old sailor showed you around for a bit? I probably have a few hours to kill."

"Oh would you? I've never been here before and everyone else seems to be busy at the moment. I would love to do some shopping, do you know where they sell their omni-tool upgrades here?"

Hannah grinned widely. "You bet I do, Archturus is the closest thing I have to a home that doesn't make jumps. Come on, I'll show you my favorite places."

Tali and Hannah spent the next few hours happily shopping through various outlets for custom parts and mods, and Tali got to know a bit more about Hannah. She had served the Alliance almost all her life, and been stationed on more ships that most people would ever see in their life.

"I can't imagine changing ships so often!" Tali exclaimed, "On the fleet, a ship is your home, and once you are assigned one as an adult it's very rare to leave."

Hannah nodded. "It can be hard, leaving a crew that you have got to know well after a few tours, but the fact is I serve the Alliance, and go where they want me to. It's also fun, meeting new people, learning new things about a new ship."

"But you never get to settle down, have a family." Tali stated, wondering what such a transient life would be like.

Hannah smiled. "Oh, you find time for things. I have a son actually; he's in the Alliance as well. Has his own command even, he almost outranks his poor old mother."

"Really?" Tali said, "What sort of ship does he captain."

Hannah shook her head. "Oh he's not a captain, just a Lieutenant Commander, but he still commands a frigate." She checked her wrist watch, an old device that looked like it was analog, not digital.

"In fact I'm supposed to meet him and his girlfriend at the officers club on E deck in a few minutes. Why don't you tag along, I'm sure he would love to meet you." Tali thought she saw a sparkle of mischief in Hannah's eyes.

Tali nodded. "Sure, I would love to meet your son Hannah, but are you sure I wouldn't be intruding on your time with family?"

Hannah smiled and shook her head. "Not at all Tali, I would be glad to have a friend along."

"Ok, but I do have to leave in about 30 minutes to meet one of my shipmates."

"That's not a problem; the elevator is just over here."

The officers club was more subdued then the eateries Tali had seen on the station, though it still had a dance floor and music, it wasn't as wild and crazy as the places for enlisted men. Tali spotted Adam's and Pressly from the Normandy at a table, and waved to them. Adams smiled and waved back, but Pressly started and nearly spilled his drink. Adams eblowed the navigator and said something to the Tali couldn't hear, and Pressly calmed down.

"Name?" A bored looking Alliance service women asked, standing behind a desk at the entrance.

Hannah handed her an ID card, and pointed to Tali saying, "She is with me, Warrant Officer."

The woman's eyes widened, and she saluted sharply. "Yes ma'am! We have your table ready."

Tali was a bit confused at the reaction, but Hannah just smiled and led her over to the table where Adams and Pressly were already seated. Both of the Normandy officers stood and saluted.

"Ma'am. A pleasure to meet you." Pressly said warmly.

Hannah returned the salute. "Like wise."

Now Tali was truly perplexed. "Your son serves on the Normandy?" She asked.

Adams fell into a sudden coughing fit, and Pressly looked like he was trying to fight down a smile.

Hannah nodded grinning impudently. "Why yes, did I forget to mention that?"

Suddenly, the music quieted and the loud speaker kicked in. "Ladies and Gentalmen, we are proud to present the Prime Minister of the of the Systems Alliance, Amul Shastri!"

An honor guard in gaudy parade ground uniforms formed a short corridor for the Prime Minister, who made a beeline for the table Tali was at. The officers and Hannah saluted him sharply.

"Gentalmen. Captain. A pleasure to meet all of you."

"Prime Minister." The Alliance servicemen coursed.

"And who is this?" Amul asked, indicating Tali.

"This is Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, sir. She has been instrumental in the maintenance and improvements of the SR-1_ Normandy_, sir." Adams replied.

The prime minister took Tali's hands and shook them warmly. "Ah, excellent, I have heard of you in the reports Commander Shepard has forwarded to me. Your people do us honor by lending you to us."

"T-t-t-thank you, sir." Tali said, now utterly lost.

Suddenly, a stirring fanfare began, and the lights dimmed. "And now presenting, the first human SPECTRE and Captain of the SR-1 Normandy, COMMANDER SHEPARD OF THE SYSTEMS ALLIANCE NAVY!"

A grinning Shepard stepped into the spotlight, resplendent in his "dress blues" with a huge salad board of medals gleaming from his chest. On his arm was Chief Ashley Williams in her own dress blues, smilling for the camera's as well. Behind Shepard and Ashley came Wrex, Garrus, Liara, Joker and Kaiden. The loud speaker rolled off their names and home planets, and then mentioned Tali, who stood and waved lamely.

"Commander, it is good to meet you in person. You do humanity proud." The prime minister said, shaking Shepard's hand.

Shepard smiled. "Thank you sir, it is an honor to serve as always."

Shepard then turned to Hannah and saluted.

"Captain." He said dryly.

She saluted back. "Commander."

Then they both smiled and embraced each other. "It's good to see you son."

"Good to see you too, mom."

"Mom?" Tali said dumbly.

"Yeah, did we forget to mention that? Sorry, bit busy being hero of the hour for flying you guys out of trouble so often." Joker said, gingerly sitting down at the table beside Tali.

"Why did no one tell me that I was going to meet Shepard's mother, and the prime minister?" Tali hissed. "I am in no way appropriately dressed for this! My suit is old, stained, Keelah, I am so embarrassed!"

"Because we didn't want you worrying about your clothes or doing something dumb like trying to beg off." Wrex rumbled, sitting on the other side of Tali. "Your fine little quarian. If Shepard is going to let an old krogan with his families ancestral armor come to his fancy reception, he doesn't mind having a quarian with a suit that couldn't be replaced for 200 light years worrying."

"You look fine Tali. Honestly, Shepard just told the rest of us this morning, I don't think he knew until just recently." Liara said, sipping from a glass of wine.

"Ma'am, we have a fine selection of dextro-amino food and drink, would you care to see a menu?" A smiling waiter asked Tali.

"Uh, certainly." Tali said, still flustered from the whole experience.

Hannah leaned over behind Tali and whispered in her ear, "Sorry for the deception, but my son wanted you to relax, and I volunteered to show you around the station for a while. I really did enjoy your company."

"Er, thanks. It was fun?" Tali said.

Hannah winked at her. "Atta girl. My boy said you were smart, but he didn't say how much fun you were to be around." And Hananah went back to her seat, between her son and the prime minister.

"Have you made your selection miss?" The waiter said, returning.

Pointing at Garrus, Tali said, "I'll just have whatever he's having. In a food tube please, sterile."

The waiter nodded smoothly, as if it was normal to have dishes requested to be served in a sterile feeding tube. "Of course miss, I'll be back with your food shortly."

"This is all so… Different." Tali said, looking around at the smiling Alliance officials, along with the handful of aliens from the Normandy seated together at the same table.

"Yeah, it's nice for people to recognize just how special we really are." Joker said, enthusiastically chewing on a large hunk of steak.

Tali shook her head. "No, just the opposite."

"What do you mean, Tali? You're being recognized here too you know. " Kaiden assured her.

"I'm not being treated like a quarian." Tali said, staring at the plate of crystal tubes and vial of turian brandy the waiter had brought her.

"You're not?" The prime minister interjected, frowning. "We made sure to stock sanitary dextro meals for you, I'll have a word with the waiter if something is wrong."

"That ain't what she means." Wrex said bluntly.

The prime minister raised and inquiring eyebrow "Oh?"

Wrex waved to the room. "I ain't being treated like a krogan neither. You're not staring. You're not pointing and whispering nasty things you think we can't hear. And you're not deliberately not looking at us. You the staff treat us like part of the group."

The prime minister turned to Tali. "Is that how you feel?"

She nodded. "Yes, my uncle has it right. I feel like I belong here."

Laughing, Amul nodded. "A quarian with a krogan uncle? Now there is a story you have to tell me. I am glad you feel at home here. The Normandy is a symbol of the Alliances willingness to cooperate with other species, and our eagerness to be a part of the galactic community. You will always have an honored place in the Alliance for the service you have done for us."

Tali felt her throat swelling up. "Thanks. Do you know where the restroom is?"

Liara stood smoothly. "I will show you Tali. Come with me."

Weaving her way elegantly through the crowd, Liara led Tali to the restrooms. It was an elegant affair, with large mirrors and even a small couch to sit on.

Turning to Tali, Liara smiled. "I think we both know that quarians don't need to make use of a toilet. Do you want to talk, or be left alone? "

Blushing beneath her mask, Tali laughed nervously. "Wow, am I really that easy to read with my mask on?"

Liara shook her head. "No, I just feel the same way. I have spent most of my life alone in dig sites. Being brought to a posh dinner with some of the galaxies most important people? I feel out of my element."

"No kidding. Our bosh'tet of a captain and his mother thought it would be a good idea to spring this on me all of a sudden, no warning. I mean, I just spent the whole day with Shepard's _mother_."

Liara blushed. "I ah, see. I must apologize then, for it was I along with Dr. Chakwas who encouraged Shepard to keep you in the dark. We both felt with your current emotional state it would be best if you relaxed before the dinner instead of worrying about getting new clothes we could not obtain. Captain Shepard volunteered to s how you around the station when she heard you were coming; apparently the Commander has told her a great deal about you."

Forcing herself to think rationally about it, Tali decided they were probably right. There really was no way to clean or find a new suit in time for the dinner, and she really had enjoyed her time with Hannah. Reluctantly, she nodded.

"You're probably right, telling me before hand would have just made me worry about things."

Liara smiled. "Thank you, I am glad you feel that way. Shall we go back?"

Over the next few hours, Tali met the turian ambassador, the asari representative, a salarian dignitary and countless alliance officials.

"No quarian ambassador here." Tali remarked to Wrex sadly.

"No krogan either. I aim to change that someday." The krogan said, his eyes gleaming with future plans.

The evening winded down, and before long it was time for speeches.

"Hey, let's get out of here before the old windbags bore us to death." Joker whispered.

"Wait," Tali said, "I want to hear the Commander speak."

Joker shrugged. "Yeah, ok, whatever. Let me know when you start to die of bordom."

The prime minister spoke first.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, only forty five years ago, humanity took its first steps into the galaxy at large when we discovered proof that we were not alone in the universe. Nine short years later, we were discovered by another species. To our eternal regret, our first contact with the stars was one of violence, and we fought a bitter war that lasted three months and claimed the lives of hundreds of human and turian lives."

Tali glanced over at Garrus to see his reaction. Other than a slight vibrating of his mandibles, the turian showed no sign of emotion.

"But in the thirty six years since then, we have come a long way. We have peace with the council races, and aside from a few small skirmishes, we are at peace with the galaxy at large."

"Like Eden Prime and the geth are just a few flies we don't have to worry about." Kaiden growled, and the rest of the crew nodded in agreement. They didn't like the prime minster playing down the threat to galactic peace they were battling.

"And today, we have among us proof that humanity is now a citizen of the galactic community. Aboard our most advanced vessel, built with the aid of those we once called foe and now call friend, we have species from many of the galaxies greatest races. Turian, asari, quarian and krogan work and live side by side aboard the Normandy."

Wrex grunted in appreciation. "Well, at least he didn't forget about us little Tali, even if he isn't smart enough to remember Saren."

She nodded. It was nice to be included, even if the prime minister seemed hell bent on playing down their mission.

"Not many would include quarians and krogan among 'the galaxies greatest races."' She agreed.

Ashley looked over at Tali and gave her a sympathetic smile, and Tali nodded in appreciation. She could get used to having Ashley as a friend.

"-And now without further pontification, I present to you the man who is making all this possible. The first human SPECTRE and hero of Eden Prime, Commander Shepard of the SR-1 _Normandy_!"

The crowd stood and applauded as Shepard made his way up to the podium and shook hand with the prime minister.

Shepard smiled at the crowd, and Tali felt her heart leap a little. Looking around at the strangers in the crowd, she realized she was not alone. Quite a few women seemed to find the Commander's easy charisma and winning smile charming.

"Thank you, I cannot tell you what an honor has been to be chosen as the first human SPECTRE and be given the opportunity to serve not just humanity, but ever member of the galactic community. I also could not do this without my crew. Please, members of the SSV Normandy, stand and be recognized."

Tali stood with the others, smiling under her mask at the adulation. Looking around though, her smile slipped. Many humans were eyeing her and Wrex with disgust. She could read their lips and eyes. "A quarian? A krogan? What are we coming to?" "Who asked the suit-rat here?" "Why is that savage aboard our greatest vessel?" "What the hell is the brass thinking, letting aliens on an alliance vessel?"

She felt a soft hand on her arm and looked over to see Hannah Shepard. "Don't let those idiots ruin your day Tali. My son respects you, and values you, and the people that matter do as well. Don't let the hicks drag you down."

Tali nodded, and sat back down. The galaxy was still a cruel, racist place. But there were beacons of light and hope scattered throughout it.

Shepard continued his speech. "As the prime minister said, the Normandy is a symbol. We are boldly going where none have gone before us. We are on a voyage to bring peace and security to the galaxy by destroying those who would stand in the path of brotherhood; by stopping Saren Arterius and his brutal attacks not just on humanity, but on the galaxy as a whole."

Several members of the Alliance brass looked embarrassed, including the prime minister, but Tali noticed a gruff old man in an admiral's uniform nodded, and glaring at those who dissented.

"Well at least we have someone on our side." Tali said, nodding towards the fierce looking admiral.

Smiling, Kaiden said, "That's Admiral Hackett, commander of the fifth fleet. He's a good man to have in your corner, and he's got our backs every step of the way."

"Thank you for coming tonight and God bless the Systems Alliance and the galaxy." Shepard stepped down to less enthusiastic applause then he had been welcomed with, quite a few people were rather offended by his remarks, and many were unenthusiastic about his openly professed religious tilt.

"Good on you commander." Ashley murmured. "Don't be afraid to show them your true colors."

"Alright, let's get out of here joker. I've had enough of speeches to know what's coming next." Tali said.

"'bout time. I was worried you might have fallen asleep." Joker slowly got up from his chair and hobbled out of the officers club.

"Where are we going?" Tali asked as they walked toward the elevator.

"Heaven." Joker replied.

"Isn't that the place god is in human mythology?" Tali asked, amused. "Are we going to a religious service?"

Joker shrugged. "Hey, I don't hold with all the god stuff like the commander does. But I do hold with good bars, and Heaven is the best damn dive on Arcturus. Great music, though I don't dance. The sound of snapping bones tends to throw off your rhythm."

Tali laughed. "Then I shall dance enough for both of us Joker."

Joker smiled. "With that junk in your trunk, I think you could shake it enough to make anyone happy."

Lightly bumping Joker with her "Trunk," Tali muttered, "Bosh'tet."

"Ow! You broke my arm!" Joker said, rubbing the injured location.

"Keelah! Oh I am so sorry Joker! Can we get you assistance?" Tali asked, beginning to panic.

Joker laughed. "Man, you are so easy. I'm fine Tali, I might be made of glass, but it takes more than a bump to shatter me."

"Oh, you!" Tali fumed, and stomped into the bar with Joker hobbling behind, still laughing.

She slowed as she got inside. The music was primal, pulsing and exciting, much louder than the melodic beats from the Alliance officers club.

"Wow, this is pretty good. I wonder if I can get a recording to take home with me." Tali mused.

Lurching to a halt beside her, Joker nodded. "Told you this place was good. I think I have this song on one of my mixes back at the ship. I'll get it to you later."

"Thanks, bosh'tet."

"No problem. Now let's get us some real alcohol. The fancy stuff they had at the party was OK, but I like me some real beer."

When Tali finally returned to the ship later that night, pushing Joker in a wheel chair after he had had one too many and actually tried to dance, getting what a medic had called "microfractures" in his left hip, she was tired but happy.

"Nice to get out of my chair for once, let loose a bit." Joker slurred as they entered the air lock. "Back into my old prison though."

Tali felt an inward cringe. She knew Joker was too drunk to realize he was hurting her feelings, but the reminder she was still removed from the rest of the crew, no matter how caring and friendly most of them were now. She turned in for the night, ready to face a new day.

The next morning, Shepard called a ship wide meeting. "We're leaving early. Call came in from the council last night. A Salarian Special Tasks Group team has gone missing in the Terminus Systems, on a planet called Virmire. We don't know much, but they sent a transmission calling for aide. Not much was unscrambled, but it is believed Saren and the geth are operating there. We are heading there immediately to extract the STG team and stop whatever Saren has planned for the galaxy. Are you ready people?"

"Damn right we are!" Yelled Garrus, and the rest of the team nodded. Tali took a deep breath. Everything was coming to a head. First Thermium, then Feros, now Virmire. They were chasing down Saren and the geth, and hopefully they would end the threat to galactic peace once and for all.

_Unna'Karis: The Battle of Virimir, that was a hard time for the Normandy's crew._

_Tali'Zorah: Yes, until then, it had felt like an adventure, it was dangerous, yes, but also exciting, almost fun. Virmire changed all that._

Authors Note:

A huge thank you to all my readers, and especially those that have left reviews or messaged me. The enthusiastic response to this story has really encouraged me to continue writing, and I appreciate all feedback, positive or negative. Thank you in advance for your continued support.


	7. Chapter 6: To Love Salarians

_Unna'Karis: Was Virmire a turning point in the first chapter of the reaper war?_

_Tali'Zorah: Definitly. We finally were on the offensive, instead of reacting to Saren's attacks; we were going after him on his home turf. It was the beginning of the end for him. _

Chapter 6: To Love Salarians

Her hands were shaking. Tali tried to steady them, tried to focus and pull herself together, but she was nervous. Saren was almost certainly here, almost surely present, along with the geth. The next few hours could either bring an end to the weeks of battle, or set the stage for another struggle.

She felt a heavy hand upon her shoulder. "Hey." Wrex growled softly.

She looked up; slightly ashamed Wrex saw her fear. "Hi Uncle Wrex."

Wrex held out a hand in front of himself, it was rock steady. "You know, I used to shake before I went into battle. All those emotions, the excitement, I could barely contain myself with eagerness. But as I got older, I calmed down. I realized you have to think before you get into a fight, that you have to fight with your head, and not let your feelings cloud your judgment. Use your head little Tali, its your best weapon."

With that, the gruff krogan walked off, and Tali had to keep herself from laughing, her nervousness mostly forgotten. Wrex thought she was shaking because she was excited? He didn't know how wrong he was. She heard a muffled cough behind her and turned to see Kaiden trying hard not to laugh.

"Well, as encouraging as that was, I think Wrex misinterpreted your shakes." Kaiden held out his own hand for Tali to see, it was visibly trembling. "We all get nervous Tali. Hell, I still worry I might fry my own brain with my biotics. But you go out and fight anyway. Because it's what right, because your friends and comrades are counting on you. You can do it."

"Thanks Kaiden. Wrex means well, but I think sometimes he forget's I'm not actually a krogan." Tali said wryly.

"Damn, you know with that mask on I forget your not an 2-meter tall killing machine myself." Kaiden joked.

The comm buzzed. "We are picking up heavy anti-air defenses around the peremeter. We will be droping in the mako to take out the guns and attempt to triangulate the STG team. Tali and Ashley to the mako as the away team. Drop ETA in 10 minutes." Shepard announced.

Already at the mako, Tali stood and did one last check over her gear. She had plenty of thermal clips, her shot gun was loaded with the perfect mix of mods to deal with geth and krogan, and she had plenty of small explosives and her omni-tool was loaded with plenty of hacking VI's. She was ready as she could make herself.

Garrus approached, his rifle extended as he carefully checked the weapon one last time. "Ready to take the pain to Saren?" He asked.

Tali nodded. "Yes, I think it's time to end this."

"Past time. That traitor is a disgrace to the good name of turians everywhere. It will be a pleasure to bring him down."

Tali couldn't help but shudder at the murderous gleam in Garrus's eye. She wondered if he had written Saren's name on his metal clip, but decided she didn't really want to know.

"Make sure you save a few scraps for me. I don't want you and Shepard having all the fun." The former C-Sec agent added before collapsing his rifle and shaking Tali's hand.

"Don't forget about me. If you're nice, I might even leave enough of a carcass for you to take a shot." Ashley quipped, as she and Shepard approached.

Garrus's head quills twitched in amusement. "You two preparing for the mission in the captains cabin?"

"I like to save the celebrating for after the bad guys are bagged and tagged." Shepard said, winking at Ashley.

"You just focus on staying in one piece, and we can talk about after, after." Ashley said with a mischievious smirk.

Tali tried not to let her face heat up, but seeing how much the two cared for each other was hard. Despite telling herself to give it up, Tali still knew she held a torch for Shepard.

"Bosh'tet, he's happy. I'll find my own story." She muttered.

"Let's move out people." Shepard called, and the three scrambled into the cramped mako.

Tali giggled when she saw Ashley take the drivers seat. "At least I might get to Saren in one piece now, Shepard would crash the mako before we got within a kilometer."

Shepard did his best not to look embarrassed, and Ashley grinned at Tali. "He's a big boy, maybe if he's good and passes his driver's test, I'll let him drive some time."

"Quiet down you two, drop in sixty seconds." Shepard growled, though Tali and Ashley could both tell his heart wasn't in the order.

When the time came, it was all business. Almost as soon as the mako hit the Virminian beach, geth drones buzzed over the horizon.

"Multiple contacts!" Tali called.

"Engaging." Shepard said, and the canon roared to life, obliterating a drone before it could open fire. The rest opened fire with rockets and machine guns, but with Shepard on the mako's own machine gun the rest were quickly cut down.

"Marking the way points to the AA tower." Tali said, and she highlighted a likely route. "Be warned that multiple hostile signles are coming from this route, but it's the most direct one I can find."

* * *

"We can handle it." Shepard said confidently, "Chief Williams, lets go kill some get."

"Aye aye Commander." Ashley said, and the mako sped through the shallow water toward the enemy.

Tali noticed quite a few strange looking creatures stalking the shore line, and briefly pondered what sort of weird alien biology made up life on Virmire. Then she noticed the creatures looked like spiders, and started hoping the mako would squish a few. Tali had become aquainted with spiders in the maintance shafts of the Normandy, where the earth native insects had made themselves at home. While they didn't bother the rest of the crew, they disturbed Tali to no end. Vermin had long ago been exterminated on the migrant fleet, and would have been a distinctly unhealthy sign on a quarian vessel. It also didn't help that they looked like demons and felt like little nightmares when they crawled over Tali's suit.

But Tali spied even worse spider creatures up ahead. "GETH COLLUSUS!" She shouted, highlighting the massive construct as small arms fire pinged off the mako's shields.

"Taking evasive action." Ashley said calmly as she ignited the mako's booster rockets to dodge a bolt of energy that slammed into the waves where the mako had been.

Tali held her breath as the duel between the vehicles dragged on, the mako darting from rock to rock as Shepard plugged away with the cannon and machine gun fire. Tali gasped as an impact from the colossus's main gun fried the mako's shields, and Tali quickly began to make repairs to the shields.

"Were not going to be able to take much more punishment!" She called as she tried to re-route some power to the still failing shields.

"Neither can he!" Ashley said, it's shields are down, I'm ramming it!"

"What? Are you insane!" Tali screamed. "What sort of a bosh'tet rams a colossus?!"

"We do. I'm aiming for its leg actuators." Shepard said calmly, and the cannon roared one last time before the mako slammed into the colossus at over 40 kilometers an hour.

With a groan, the Colossus toppled, and Ashley spun the mako around. With a final roar, the mako's cannon destroyed the head of the metal monstrosity, and Tali breathed a sigh of relief.

"The rest of the way looks pretty clear except for a few outposts, but those shouldn't present to much a trouble." Tali said.

"Then let's go find where Saren's hiding." Shepard said, the mako motored toward danger once more.

"This is it? This is all the council sent?" The irritated salarian captain said as Tali climbed out of the Mako. "I asked for the council to send a fleet, and all we get is one tiny human frigate?"

"Sorry captain Kirrahe, this is it. Your message was scrambled, we were sent to investigate." Shepard said, trying to calm the salarian.

"That is a redundancy of our original objective!" Kirrahe snapped.

Shepard folded his arms. "Well were here, and nothing else is coming. What do you have captain."

Calming himself, the salarian motioned the team over to a map. "Saren is here commander, and here in force. This is his main base, located here. There are large concentrations of geth and krogan here, here and here." Kirrahe stabbed the map in multiple places which formed an effective barrier in the winding rocky canyons of Virmir. "We have lost quite a few men trying to find a way in, but Saren's forces will not be budged. There are hundreds of krogan and an unknown number of geth platforms."

"How did he get together that many krogan so quickly?" Wrex rumbled. "Not that many mercs out in the terminus systems for hire."

"Keep your pet on a leash, Commander." Kirrahe snapped. "I've lost enough men already."

Tali bristled. Salarian arrogance was famous, and this one was especially irritating to her.

"He's not my pet, captain, he's my friend. Watch yourself." Shepard said, glaring at Kirrahe. "And I want to know the answer. How did Saren rally that many krogan?"

"Simple. He cured the genophage. He's breeding them." Kirrahe said, his large eyes blinking in irritation.

Wrex was dumbfounded. "What? Did you say… Saren CURED the genophage?"

"I'm not repeating myself, trying cleaning the blood out of your hearing canals." Kirrahe responded. "This is a clear danger to galactic security, with an army of krogan at his back, Saren would be unstoppable. We have to destroy this place."

"Destroy it? It holds the key to my species salvation! How can you justify condemning us to extinction!" Wrex raged, pacing back and forth with a murderous gleam in his eyes.

"Simple, it was a mistake to elevate you in the first place, one I will not allow to continue." Kirrihi said, taking a step toward Wrex.

Shoving the captain aside, Wrex stormed out of the tent, bellowing, "We not a mistake."

Tali walked up to Kirrihe and slapped him, full across the face. "Bosh'tet, that is my uncle! He has spilled his blood to save you ungrateful council races from your own folly! Mind your tongue, you jumped up puddle jumper!"

Tali ran out to comfort Wrex, finding the old krogan standing by a tide pool, blasting away at the fish trapped with-in. Tali sensed Wrex wasn't ready to talk, and instead stood by him, leaning on his shoulder.

"A mistake. Was it a mistake when we saved their ungrateful hides from the rachni? Was it a mistake when we freed their worlds and saved their children? Are we to forever pay for the mistakes of our forebears, the mistakes those ungrateful pyjak spunk made when they gave us weapons, but not the culture or know-how of controlling them? When they showed us the stars but not how to be a part of them?" Wrex raged helplessly, his words punctuated with blasts from his shotgun.

"No Wrex, you weren't. Was I a mistake? Were the quarians when we created the geth?"

Wrex put an arm around his adoptive niece. "No little quarian. It was _**a**_mistake. Every species makes them. Some are just more interesting than others."

Tali nodded, and sniffled. Why were the so-called mighty races of the galaxy so dead set on grinding other races into the dust to make themselves feel better about themselves? Why were quarians and krogan still so hated, hundreds of years after their ancestor's mistakes that they still paid for? Surely, if there was a god in the galaxy, he laughed at the feeble struggles of its children.

"Hey! Hey! Don't you show them any weakness. They try and knock you on your ass; you kick them in the quads and spit in their face. Show them you're stronger than them, that you can take their diseases, and their hate, and be stronger for it. Never show them you are weak. You understand me Tali? Never!" Wrex was nearly shouting as he ended his little speech.

Tali shook her head and smiled up at the old krogan, whose concern and worry was etched on his battle scarred face.

"Look at you. They talk of hating, but here you are, loving me, encouraging me when I should be telling you it's OK. Thank you, Uncle Wrex."

Wrex grunted. "If you ever tell anyone I'm just a big old softie, I'll rip both your arms off and beat you to death with them." He tried to sound threatening, but he just couldn't make the words sound like anything but a joke.

Tali laughed. "I love you too, you big old softie."

"Hmph. Thanks Tali. For being here. For giving a damn about this old varren turd. It makes... It makes me remember that I once had hope for my people."

"Wrex, never give up on your people. Ever. Even if we can't save this cure, the fact that one was found means we can find it again. You're people will be free from the genophage one day, I know it."

Tali's breath rushed out of her as Wrex gripped her in an iron bear hug. "You are truly my niece Tali, though not of my blood, I am glad to call you clans mate."

"You too Wrex, I am lucky to have you as Uncle and shipmate."

"Well, it looks like you too are doing OK. You going to be alright with this Wrex?" Shepard said, coming up on the two strange relatives embracing.

Wrex nodded. "Yes, I am Shepard. When we served the salarians, they rewarded us by neutering us. I doubt Saren would be so generous."

Shepard nodded. "Good, because we will have to destroy the facility, Saren cannot be allowed to have an army of krogan loyal only to him. But when we assault the base, I want you and Tali with me. Captain Kirrihe can go to hell. If there's a way to retrieve any data on Saren's cure, I'm sending you back to Tuchanka with a copy of it Wrex."

Wrex stopped moving, his eyes growing distant, as tears flowed freely down his face. "Well damn." He rasped.

"Uncle Wrex?" Tali asked, putting a hand on the krogans arm.

"Hey, you OK?" Shepard said, his eyes full of concern.

"When I left Tuchanka, I did not dream I would call a quarian niece, and a human brother." Wrex said, his eyes still distant. "Hell, I didn't even know your species existed yet. The entire galaxy was my enemy, and I trusted no one and had no allies. Now? Now I think there maybe hope after all, for I have friends and allies. Thank you."

Shepard nodded. "It's hard being alone. After Akuze, I thought that I was the most lonesome person in the galaxy. Once I found hope, I was able to pull myself back together. Without people like you and Tali at my back Wrex, I think I would give up and crawl back into a bottle most days."

Wrex laughed. "Damn Shepard, you keep that up and you might make me cry again. Calling a krogan and a quarian people? I knew there was something special about you when I met you Shepard. I think it's the fact that you give a damn."

"'There, but for Grace, go I.'" Shepard said.

"That sounds like a quote." Tali observed.

Shepard nodded. "It is. It means that without God's Grace, I would be just as much of bastard as the rest of them."

Wrex snorted. "That's a load of pyjak turds. Your different, Shepard. However they made you, it was a limited run."

Shrugging, Shepard simply stated, "Different way of looking at the galaxy Wrex. Come on, let's go back. The captain says he has a plan to blow Saren all to hell and gone."

Despite his irritation and again having a krogan and quarian in his briefing again, captain Kirrahe did indeed have quite a brilliant plan.

"We can all make it out on the Normandy, so I am converting my ships drive core into a nuclear ordinance." He stated. "We will infiltrate Sarens fortress and plant the bomb, utterly destroying the facility."

"Sounds simple enough." Remarked Ashley, "But with a bomb that big why do we need to infiltrate the base? Can't we just leave it near and get out?"

Kirrahe shook his head. "No, we've scouted the base, and to ensure total destruction the bomb must be planted at this point, the base is too well hardened for it to be devastated by anything short of an explosion at its center, here." He indicated a place well inside the base, past a maze of defenses.

"That looks like suicide. The geth will have that place locked down. We would be marching into a kill zone." Wrex remarked after looking at the map.

"Indeed. Perhaps there is more in your head then bone after all krogan. The frontal assault will just be a diversion. A second team will sneak in the back, disable the bases automated air defense systems at these points, and allow the Normandy to fly in and plant the bomb."

"Good plan captain, I take it you will be leading the frontal assult as you have more men at your disposal." Shepard said.

Kirrahe nodded. "I will. However, even with my superior numbers, I am going to have to ask to borrow one of your crew to reinforce one of my squads and act as a communications expert between our groups."

Shepard pointed to Kaiden. "Lieutenant Alanko here is an expert in hit and run tactics and Alliance communications. He can assist your squad."

Kirrahe nodded. "Excellent, he will do nicely. Always good to have a biotic with us. We move out in half an hour. Be ready."

Walking outside, Tali did her best to tune out the ridiculous speech the captain was giving his men, something about the proud history of the salarians holding the line. "More like stabbing people in the back and refusing to help those in need." She muttered.

"Hey, Tali, you got a minute?" Ashley said, coming towards her.

"Sure, what do you need?"

Glacing around to make sure no one was in hearing range, Ashley said in a low voice, "Take good care of the Commander. It's going to be hot in there, with a ton of hostiles. But I can't think of anyone I would rather have at Shepard's side when he goes to take on a whole fortress full of geth. And Wrex is easily the best brawler we have, he should be able to teach any of those Saren breed krogan a lesson they won't soon forget."

Tali nodded, a smile of whimsy on her face. "That makes me smile Ashley. A few months ago, I don't think you would have trusted me as far as you could throw me, and you would never have wanted a krogan to watch Shepard's back. You've changed."

Ashley shrugged. "Hell, I already told you I was wrong. I was being pig headed and stupid. I always blamed aliens for the fact that my name was shit to the Alliance because my grandfather surrendered to the turians during the First Contact War. But now I know I can't go around blaming other species for my own faults the rest of my life."

Taken aback, Tali exclaimed, "Your grandfather was the human who surrendered to the turian fleet? That can't make you popular with the Alliance Admiralty."

Laughing, Ashley replied "It sure as hell doesn't, the Williams have been black listed ever since my grandfather ran up the white flag. I guess it takes a special kind of stupid to enlist knowing every flag officer would just love to ruin your career."

"Well, I guess that certainly explains why you wouldn't like other species." Tali admitted, "But I am glad you have been able to see we aren't all bad."

"Thanks. Take care of Shepard Tali. And watch yourself; I want you coming back in one piece too."

Tali laughed. "I will. Don't worry, we won't let a bunch of bosh'tet geth and krogan stop the first human SPECTER."

Parting ways with Ashley, Tali wandered over to where Kaiden was prepping his gear. "Good luck with the bunch of bosh'tet salarians, if they were any more arrogant I would think they were shoving wrenches up their cochlea."

Kaiden laughed. "Take it easy on them Tali, these guys have been out here a long time, and lost a lot of friends. After going through hell like that, you're a bit edgy and hesitant to trust strange faces. If you came up to me after I had just come out of BAaT, I probably would have been far less understanding then I am now. And if I had met you right after Jenkins died… Well, let's just say I might have blamed you for your people creating the geth. Everyone has bad days Tali."

"I suppose I could cut them some slack," Tali allowed, "It wouldn't do me any good to become just as arrogant as they are."

"Exactly. Take your cue from the commander. If there was ever anyone who knows what it means to love your enemy, it's him."

Tali frowned, narrowing her eyes. "What? That makes no sense. Why would you love your enemies? That's just asking to be hurt."

Kaiden nodded. "Yes, it is, but that's not the point. When I was younger, I felt that it was stupid as well Guess part of it was because of my Catholic upbringing, I never did like being dragged to mass by mom. But eventually I learned the wisdom of Jesus's words, even if I don't think he was god."

Tali interrupted. "I keep hearing about this Jeebus. He was some sort of human religious figure, was he not?"

"Yeah, though its 'Jee-ZUS,' not 'Jee-bus.' He's a major figure in quite a few human beliefs, but you will have to talk to the commander if you really want to know more about that. Quite a few of his sayings and proverbs were collected in a book called 'The Bible.' One of them, I think it was from the book of Mathew, was 'Love your enemies, and pray for them constantly.'" Kaiden explained.

Tali pondered that for a minute. "I guess what he was trying to say was if you want to stop the cycle of hatred, it starts with you."

Smiling, Kaiden agreed, "Yes, that's it exactly. I figured that out after I killed a turian that had made my life and the life of my fellow biotics in BAaT hell for a few years. I realized I couldn't go around hating all turians or I would just be part of the problem. Maybe if some human's had shown Vyrnuss compassion, he would have been a little nicer and we wouldn't have gotten in that scrape, and he would be alive today. But because I never showed him kindness, he never showed me any. I regret that to this day."

"Thanks Kaiden, you've given me a lot to think about. Maybe I can't change the whole galaxy, but I can change a few people's ideas about quarians, like I did Ashley. And I won't do it by slapping them upside the head. Good luck, I hope you and the salarian's survive."

"You too Tali, give them hell."

Ready as she was ever going to be, Tali walked over to Shepard and Wrex. "Is it time?"

Nodding, Shepard declared, "It's time. Let's move out."

* * *

_Unna'Karis: That's your last memory of your shipmate?_

_Tali'Zorah: Yes. I like to think that we parted as shipmates and friends, and whatever afterlife they are now in, the ancestor's smile on them. _

_Unna'Karis: Yes, I think after what you told me, their place as a hero of the galaxy is assured._

_Tali'Zorah: Thank you, Unna. May their soul find peace in the ancestor's company._

* * *

Author's note: I just wanted to give a heartfelt thanks to my readers again; I am very blessed by the overwhelmingly positive reception I have received. If you find anything about my story objectionable, please, don't be afraid to speak up! I value criticism as much as praise because it allows me to become a better author. And to silence any doubts, yes, I am going to continue updating. This isn't going to be a dead fic, I actually have several chapters done (through to the end of ME1) and I am working on the rest of the story as well. I can't give you a solid update schedule as some have asked since I need to edit all my work before I feel comfortable posting it, but I think promising a minimum of one update a week at least for the foreseeable future isn't stretching things.


	8. Chapter 7: A Death in the Family

_Unna'Karis: This is where the real threat was uncovered. Some categorize this as the start of the Reaper War._

_Tali'Zorah: Do they? I mark this day only because one of my best friends, one of the ones most precious to me, died. War is such an impersonal concept. People think of it as glory, as an adventure, as a big, scary, thing they can never understand. But when one you love dies, you understand. War is loss and pain at a personal level, shared across an entire nation._

Chapter 7: A Death in the Family

As jungle gave way to canyon, Tali felt herself growing more and more tense, until finally, "Geth, just ahead." Shepard whispered.

Drawing out his sniper rifle, Shepard took careful aim at the shock trooper just beyond the bushes. Tali readied her hack commands; once the first shot was fired it would be pure chaos.

"Shadow, this is Doorbuster. We are engaging. Commence your assault." Kaiden's voice whispered in Tali's ear.

_CRACK! _The shock trooper's head exploded, the round had passed clean through shield and armor, a perfect shot. Tali surged forward, hacking a rocket trooper nearby before it could launch a salvo at her squad. It turned and fired a rocket at the trooper standing next to it, destroying both geth in the explosion.

"DIE!" Roared Wrex, as he used his biotics to propel himself forward, slamming into a geth juggernaut. For a moment, it looked like the mechanical monstrosity would be able to overpower the old krogan, but with a roar and a blue glow of biotic force, Wrex toppled his opponent and crushed its mechanical face under his heal.

"LEFT!" Shouted Shepard, as he switched to his assult rifle and sent out a stream of rounds in the direction of the geth troopers hurrying towards the squad.

Tali hacked another geth to cause confusion in the ranks, and Wrex laid down a singularity to block the geth's path. The squad stormed forward, and Tali used her pistol to blast holes in a hapless geth sniper caught in Wrex's mass effect field.

"Grenade!" Tali called, tossing a small explosive into the collapsing gravitational distortion. The remaining geth were shredded by the blast, their shields already weakened by biotics and rifle fire.

"Commander the geth are making coordinated strikes on our fire teams, their superior communications are preventing us from making real headway." Kaiden informed over the comm.

"That looks like a communications tower over there." Tali said, indicating a structure back and to the right of their advance."

"Yeah, but the main facilities up ahead. We should just push on, the sooner we finish this the better." Wrex argued.

"I am not leaving Doorbuster out to dry. We're hitting that tower." Shepard ordered.

"You're the boss." Wrex shrugged.

The tower proved to be heavily guarded; several geth snipers and a juggernaut were defending it, but with Shepard providing suppressing fire to force the geth to keep their heads down, Tali and Wrex were able to get close.

"I'll hit them with a warp, you overload their sensors." Wrex called.

"Got it! On three! One, two, three!" The two leapt up, and with Wrex's warp draining the shields of the geth, Tali's explosions dropped all but the juggernaut.

"Keelah!" Screamed Tali, diving away as the juggernaut rushed her.

"RAH!" Wrex attempted to tackle the giant geth platform, but was flung aside.

Tali raised her shotgun and blasted away at the geth's legs, slowing it enough for Wrex to regain his feet and shoot the geth in the less well armored back.

"Quick, disable their communications!" Shepard ordered.

Tali raced up the stairs, and while Wrex and Shepard blasted away at the geth trying to retake the position, she quickly overloaded the tower's power supply.

"That should do it; it will take them a few hours to fix this." She called.

"Doorbuster, this is Shadow. We have disabled their long range communications. Moving to objective." Shepard radioed.

"Roger that Shadow, their latest counter attack just fell apart, but now their sending in drones and flyers. We have cover, but it's going to be slow going if we're pinned down by geth air support."

Glancing around the corner, Wrex nodded toward a distant platform. "Looks like that's their refueling station over there. If we take that out, their fliers are going to be out of commission for a while, but it's a kill zone through there."

"Damn. I read you Shadow, but I don't think we will be able to assist with your situation." Shepard informed Kaiden.

"What about this?" Tali asked, grabbing a discarded rocket launcher from the juggernaut. Taking aim at the distant fuel tanks, she fired, and was rewarded with a large fireball in the distance.

"Great work Tali!" Shepard hooted, "Doorbuster, cancel previous transmission, Tali found a solution to your flier problem, they should clear off in a few minutes."

"Copy that Shadow, looks like the fliers are peeling off, we are moving forward again."

"Roger, we are closing in on our own objective." Shepard replied.

Retreating from the comm. tower, the squad splashed along the shallows toward the base, pausing when Shepard raised a fist to peer around the corner.

"Looks like the back door we were looking for," He said, "but it's heavily guarded. I see several snipers and a couple of krogan behind barriers."

"We can take them." Growled Wrex, "Saren's knock-offs are no match for us."

Shepard nodded, "Yes, but were going to have to do this the smart way, there's too much open ground between here and the bridge to the base for use to just charge in recklessly. I'm going to take a few shots with my rifle to try and get them to keep their heads down, maybe take out one of the snipers. While I'm doing that, I want Tali to deploy a smoke grenade while Wrex drops a singularity to try and provide cover. Once those are down, the two of you give me covering fire from the wall by the bridge and I'll move up to your position. When we get to the bridge, Tali you're going to overcharge my shields while Wrex put's up a barrier. The two of us will move across the bridge as quickly as possible while you provide covering fire. Got it?"

"Aye aye captain." Tali agreed

"Let's do it!" Wrex said, slamming his fists together.

"On my mark." Shepard whispered, carefully aiming with his sniper rifle.

But before Shepard could fire, one of the geth snipers spotted him and opened fire.

"Keelah!" Tali said, deploying her smoke grenade to try and obscure their position.

"I'm fine go go go!" Shepard yelled, firing his rifle once then joining the mad rush for the wall.

"Look out!" Wrex called, and he dropped a singularity on the bridge right as the squad of enemy krogan rushed across, trapping one within the field.

However two of the krogan, including one with impressive armor and weapons, had already made it across.

"Gut them!" Shouted the enemy leader, and he slammed Tali back with a powerful biotic throw.

Before she could recover the enemy leader charged her. Wrex tried to intercept, but was blocked by the other krogan. Tali only had time for a single shot before brute was upon her, battering away at her shields while she fruitlessly tried to fight him off with the butt of her shotgun.

"No!" Shepard blasted away at point black range with his rifle, the high impact shots breaking the krogan's biotic barriers with ease. Tali slammed the butt of her shot gun into the krogan's chest, throwing him off of her.

"No you don't!" He growled, trapping Shepard in a singularity of his own then using a massive biotic kick to throw the commander helplessly through the air. Not allowing herself to be distracted, Tali threw another smoke grenade into the krogan's eyes. He roared in pain, blinded and stunned by explosion, and Tali used the opportunity to blast away, though it took three shots before the krogan's head finally exploded in a shower of gore.

Turning to Wrex, she saw the old krogan was now fighting both of Saren's krogan, barely managing to hold his own with physical might and biotic powers.

"COME ON YOU CLANLESS SONS OF VARREN! I AM URDNOT WREX!" He bellowed, slamming his head plate into the chest of one the younger krogan.

"Wrex! Look out!" Tali yelled, tossing an explosive charge at the other krogan and jumping forward to slam the butt of her gun into the closest one.

Unfortunately for Tail, the krogan was only dazed and managed to knock her aside. "NO!" Wrex roared, and took the opening to hit both the other krogan with such a massive blow of biotic force that Tali could hear the sound of breaking bones as they were flung backward. Struggling to her feet, she fired her shotgun once at both krogan, who lay still in now crimson water.

There was no time to breathe though, as now that their allies were removed from the fight, the geth snipers once more opened fire on Shadow Squad.

Tali and Wrex both dove for cover and Shepard managed to crawl up to the wall where they hid.

"Well, that could have gone better." Shepard groaned.

"Hold still, I'll apply medigel." Tali said, and she quickly treated the commanders wounds.

"Ugh. Thanks." Shepard carefully flexed his sore muscles and nodded.

"That was pretty impressive Tali, though I commend your bravery, next time don't try and tackle a krogan. Quarian's just aren't built for it." Wrex said, chuckling.

"I will try to remember that in the future." Tali wryly remarked, "But right now I think we should be worrying about the snipers who are still firing on us."

"Hell with this." Shepard said, and began lobbing grenades toward the geth snipers. Tali joined in with grenades of her own, and Wrex threw biotic assaults over the wall. After a moment a series of catastrophic explostions caused Shepard's team to duck down. In the quiet that followed, Tali peaked over the wall to see massive scorch marks and clouds of smoke from several crates.

"Looks like they had a munition's stockpile back here. We must have started a chain reaction." She observed.

"Looks like it worked out in the end." Wrex said happily, and the team made their way across the bridge to the miraculously still intact security consol.

Tali quickly bi-passed the firewall. "I can either turn off the alarms back here and signal an all clear, or I can set off alarms on Doorbuster's side of the base, though if I do that all the extra guards will put pressure on them."

"Doorbuster, this is Shadow. Do you think you can handle a little extra heat?" Shepard radioed.

"Can do Commander, with all the assistance you've provided we're making good progress and the geth are falling back." Kaiden replied.

Shepard nodded to Tali. "Do it, trip the alarms on their side of the base."

"Done." Tali said, and logged out of the consol. "Now let's go disable that AA tower."

Tali breathed easier once she was inside the base, the guards had completely cleared out, and it was fairly empty.

"No sign of hostiles." She whispered.

"Keep moving, we've got to find those controls." Shepard ordered.

Making their way through several rooms, they found what looked like a detention area with a number of salarian's locked inside. Most moved listlessly inside their cells, a few battered against the walls fruitlessly.

"What the hell?" Muttered Wrex. "I don't think much of salarians, but these poor bastards are acting damn strange. You would think they would be asking us to let them out."

"Hello?" A salarian voice called from further down the cell block. "Can anyone hear me?"

"Over there." Shepard jogged down the rows, Tali and Wrex right behind him.

An alert salarian peered out of his cells glass, licked his lips, and spoke. "Well, you don't look like Saren's men. You must be an infiltration team. Let me guess, the Captain sent you in to plant a bomb, probably some sort of modified nuclear device."

"You sound like you have all your marbles still. Who are you, and what's wrong with the others?" Shepard demanded.

The salarian saluted crisply. "Second Lieutenant Ganto Imness, Special Tasks Group, Captain Kirrihe's command. Before I go on, perhaps you wouldn't mind telling me who you are human, and why you have a krogan and quarian with you?"

"Commander Shepard of the Systems Alliance, and SPECTRE of the council. This is Urdnot Wrex, and Tali'Zorah nar Rayya."

The salarian nodded. "I've heard of you, and that you keep strange company. Not surprised that you were the one on this mission, your passion for Saren was noted on our briefing and your intervention listed as 'probable.'" He cleared his throat and glanced around nervously. "As for the others… They have been Indoctrinated."

Tali was puzzled. She could hear the capital letter he was putting on "Indoctrinated," but she had never heard of any such thing before.

"Indoctrinated? What do you mean? They look like they've been drugged." She said.

The salarian shook his head. "If only. This is far, far worse. The best way to describe it is a kind of brain washing. You've seen Saren's dreadnaught? It emits some kind of signal, slowly wearing away the minds of whoever it reaches out to. First they hear voices, see things, start to want to do as Saren commands."

"That's horrific!" Shepard said in disgust, "How could Saren justify brainwashing sentient beings?"

The salarian shrugged. "I have no idea, but I don't think he fully understands it. We were being studied. I was in the control group, for some reason I never felt the signal. But I watched my men, good men, go from being loyal team mates to killing each other on Saren's command to being mindless husks. The ones you see here are so far gone they don't even recognize their own names. Some of them have starved to death, food right in front of them because Saren didn't tell them to eat. They were dead long before that though, minds completely gone."

"So there's no saving them?" Shepard asked.

Ganto shrugged. "Maybe. But I don't think it likely. Perhaps some in the other groups won't be to far gone to save, but after a few days even the high functioning victims were totally loyal to Saren, killing their former brothers in arms with no regrets. I know you're probably here for the krogan breeding grounds," Wrex growled, deep in his throat at that, but the Salarian went on, "But trust me when I say that those krogan are nothing next to the danger of indoctrination."

"Well, based on what he said about indoctrination, I think we should leave him to rot." Wrex said, "To dangerous to let him out."

"The krogan is right. The mission comes first." Ganto said, resigned to his fate. "I won't beg you, stop Saren and my death and the death of my men will mean something."

Tali shallowed. She thought she knew the choice Shepard would make, and she felt it would be right to let Lieutenant Ganto out. But the thought of a mind controlled sleeper agent among them? It was dangerous.  
"Maybe we could let him out and just send him away, let him try to out run the blast." She suggested.

Shepard shook his head. "He'd never make it, and he might have valuable intel. Besides, we don't leave men behind. Get this cell open Tali." He ordered.

Putting aside her own anxiety, Tali quickly sliced open the cell door, and Ganto stepped out.

"Thank you, human. My life is yours."

Shepard handed Ganto his pistol. "Here, take this and come with us. We'll search the other cell blocks for survivors."

A few hallway's over, they found more salarians. Most of these were violent, clawing at their doors to get at Shadow team. One stood in his cell, staring at them.

"Lieutenant?" He asked, eyes darting around madly. "You've got to get me out. The voices… The voices say I need to get out!"

"Private Avot." Lieutenant Ganto said, studying him. Not liking what he saw, Ganto shook his head. "I wouldn't let him out commander; the signs of indoctrination are obvious. Private Avot was a good man, but that man is dead now. What you see before you is just as much a husk as the abominations the geth used on Eden Prime."

"You sure?" Shepard asked. "I hate leaving a man behind."

Sighing, Ganto nodded. "Yes. If anything, open his cell and let me euthanize him. He's dead either way, better to die at my own hand."

Standing quietly for a moment, Shepard shook his head. "No. The blast will kill him. Let his blood be on my own hands Lieutenant, no commander should have to kill his own troops."

A single tear ran down Ganto's cheek, and he spoke, voice full of emotion. "Thank you commander. I would like to think that all my men died long ago."

"NO! NO NO NO!" Screamed Avot, growing frantic. "The voices say let me out! Let me out! Let me out!" In a blind panic, he ran head first into the cell door, knocking himself unconscious.

"Better that way." Wrex growled. "I hate salarians as much as the next krogan, but these poor pyjaks deserve better."

"Let's get out of here, I don't like this place." Tali said, shuddering at the thought of her own mind becoming less then her own.

"Right, let's move." Shepard said, and they trooped out into a hallway.

"Looks like a medical facility of some sort." Tali observed.

"Yes, this is where they studied the effects of indoctrination, and where they bred the krogan." Ganto explained.

"What? We have to find that cure!" Wrex exclaimed.

"There's no time for that! We-" Ganto said, before another krogan in a medical uniform came around the corner.

"What? Who are you!" The krogan doctor demanded.

"I am Urdnot Wrex! Are you the one who has created the cure for our people?" Wrex demanded, grabbing the smaller krogan by his neck and lifting him off the floor.

"Urdnot Wrex?" The doctor said calmly. "You I have heard of. Clan Urdnot was once a great clan, but no longer. I am Arterius Droyas, and I will complete the glorious salvation of our people."

"ARTERIUS?! ARTERIUS!" Wrex bellowed, shaking the doctor like a rag doll. "You claim to seek our salvation, yet you would put the yoke of a turian upon our people? The very ones who neutered us in the first place?"

"It is a turian who leads us to salvation, so I have taken his name, as have his children." Droyas said, still calm despite his now rumpled clothes. "I hear his voice in my mind, whispering to me of our future greatness as his servants."

Wrex threw the doctor to the floor. "Then he bids the krogan to rise from the grave to our knees. We may die, but we shall die free, not at the beck and call of others. This is not salvation." Wrex drew his shotgun.

"Wait Wrex!" Tali yelled, stepping between Wrex and the doctor. "We can take him, interrogate him. We can learn how to save the krogan."

"Are you mad?" Ganto said. "He's clearly been Indoctrinated. He has to die. As much as I would like to erase the sin of my people, doing so with Saren's filthy tools would only make the krogan's slaves."

"He's right Tali." Shepard said softly, "We wouldn't be saving the krogan. We would be condemning them to slavery."

"NO! THE SALVATION MUST CONTINUE!" Droyas said, lunging for Tali with his powerful arms outstretched.

Before she could dodge, Wrex's shotgun roared, and Droyas's head plates cracked open in a shower of gore.

"No one touches my niece." Wrex growled.

"But Wrex… Your people…" Tali whispered.

"We are a proud and fierce nation Tali. To become the pawns of Saren? We would not be krogan." Wrex turned to Ganto. "What do you mean, erase your sins?"

Ganto shrugged. "The genophage was expedient to be sure, but the genocide of a people is not something to do on a whim, not when they saved you. We owe the krogan much, and instead we stabbed them in the back."

Wrex grunted. "My people brought it on themselves. Most salarians would point that out first."

"Perhaps. But we should talk later, now we need to focus on stopping Saren." Ganto pointed out.

"He's right, you OK Tali?" Shepard asked.

"Yes, I suppose." Tali said hesitantly.

"This elevator looks to lead deeper into the complex." Ganto said, pointing to a lift in the back of the lab.

"Let's go then." Shepard said, and they boarded the elevator.

"Indoctrination." Tali said as the door slid shut. "Saren is even more dangerous than I thought."

"He is more dangerous than anyone could have ever imagined." Ganto said. "Indoctrination is a threat the likes of which the galaxy has never seen before."

"Whatever Saren was planning, it's over now." Shepard said grimly. "This entire facility is getting blown sky high."

Just then, the comm. buzzed. "Commander, this is Kaiden. We are taking heavy casualties, and Captain Kirrahe is down. Those extra guards turned out to be more then we could handle, tell me you're close to your objective."

"Damn." Shepard swore. "Yes Lieutenant, we've rescued a captive Saren was holding -Lieutenant Ganto- and are close to our objective. Just hold out a little longer."

"Aye aye commander, the salarians copy that you have rescued one of their own. I think it's boosted their moral enough that they will hold. Get it done sir."

"Copy that Kaiden." Shepard said, and cut the connection. "Damn. Captain Kirrahe was a good officer. Without him…"

"The STG will do its job commander." Ganto assured Shepard. "We will hold the line."

"Heh. Funny you should say that, it's the same thing the captain said in his speech." Shepard chuckled softly.

The elevator doors opened, and a startled asari gasped at the sight of the heavily armed group.

"Who- who are you?" She stammered.

"I'm Commander Shepard of the Systems Alliance. Who are you?" Shepard demanded.

"She would be Rana Thanoptis, one of Saren's flunkies." Ganto answered. "She was one of the ones who studied me during the indoctrination of my fellows." He drew his pistol. "And she deserves to die."

"What? No, please! I had no idea what I was getting into! I wanted to quit, I really did, but this job was a little more 'perminate' then I expected. Please, you've got to believe me!"

"We're not going to shoot you Rana." Shepard said.

"What?" Ganto and Rana said together.

"However, I am going to blow this place all to hell and gone. Start running."

Rana's eyes widened. "What? No, you can't- AAAAH!" She fled into the elevator, her face a mask of terror.

"I think you enjoyed that Shepard." Tali remarked.

He shook his head. "I don't have to kill anyone who gets in my way, but I'll be damned if I have to save every idiot who throws in with terrorists."

"Fitting. Let's disable that tower now." Ganto said.

As they walked into the next room, Shepard gasped. "A beacon!" He exclaimed

"Like the one on Eden Prime?" Tali asked.

"Yes," Shepard confirmed, "And this one looks intact. Stay back, I'll try and activate it."

The human approached the beacon, and was lifted into the air. Tali could only watch as the commander was jerked back and forth in the air, before being suddenly dropped. Tali raced to his side and knelt down.

"Shepard, Shepard are you alright?" She asked worriedly.

He groaned and nodded. "Yes, I'm fine. My vision… I think I understand, but I will explain later. We need to destroy this base first."

"Hey Shepard, looks like this consol over here just activated." Wrex called.

Tali helped the Commander to his feet, and they walked over to the computer. A red hologram of a squid like creature appeared.

**YOU ARE NOT SAREN.**

The voice boomed, not seeming to come from any speakers, but from inside of Tali's skull.

"What- What is that?" She gasped.

"That is bad news." Wrex observed.

**RUDIMENTARY CREATURES OF BLOOD AND FLESH: YOU TOUCH MY MIND UNKNOWING, INCAPABLE OF UNDERSTANDING.**

"That is not a VI." Ganto said worriedly. "And it looks like Saren's dreadnaught."

**THERE IS A REALM BEYOND YOUR UNDERSTANDING, BEYOND YOUR IMAGINATION. I AM SOVEREIGN.**

"Keelah." Tali breathed, "It- It's an AI. Saren's using an AI ship!"

"This thing… I saw thing like it in my vision. It's not an AI. It's a Reaper." Shepard stated.

**A REAPER? A LABLE CREATED BY THE CREATURES OF THE LAST CYCLE, THE ONES YOU CALL "PROTHEANS" TO GIVE VOICE TO THEIR DOOM. IN THE END OUR NAME IS IRRELIVENT. WE SIMPLY ARE. **

"Impossible!" Wrex said in disbelief, "The protheans vanished over 50,000 years ago. Nothing lasts that long."

**ORGANIC LIFE IS A GENETIC MUTATION, AN ACCIDENT. YOUR LIVES ARE MEASURED IN YEARS AND DECADES. YOU WITHER AND DIE. WE ARE ETERNAL. THE PINICLE OF EVOLUTION AND EXISTANCE. BEFORE US, YOU ARE NOTHING. YOUR EXTINCTION IS INEVITABLE. WE ARE THE END OF EVERYTHING.  
**

"Our entire galaxy stands united, ready to face whatever you can throw at us!" Shepard spat in defiance.

**YOUR CONFIDENCE IS BORN OF IGNORANCE. THE CYCLE CANNOT BE BROKEN.**

"A cycle? I have never heard of this. What do you speak of, Reaper?" Ganto said in perplexity.

**THE PATTERN HAS REPEATED ITSELF MORE TIMES THEN YOUR MINDS CAN FATHOM. ORGANIC CIVILIZATIONS RISE, FLOURISH, EXPAND, THEN ARE EXTINGUISHED AT THE APEX OF THEIR GLORY. THE PROTHEANS ARE NOT THE FIRST. THEY DID NOT CREATE THE CITADLE THEY DID NOT FORGE THE MASS RELAYS. THEY FOUND THEM, AS YOU DID.**

Tali felt her blood freeze. "Oh Ancestors… It's a trap. All the relays are a trap. We don't go far from them, FLT is to expensive and clunky."

"No." Shepard whispered. "No, it can't be."

**ORGANIC LIFE FOLLOWS THE DESIGNS WE IMPOSE UPON IT. WE FORCE ORDER UPON THE CHAOS OF THE GALAXY. YOU EXIST BECAUSE WE ALLOW IT. AND YOU WILL END BECAUSE WE DEMAND IT."**

"Interesting." Ganto mused. "They wait until we are sufficiently advanced for their purposes, then harvest us. They must think themselves gods."

"What do you want from us?" Wrex demanded, "Slaves, resources?"

**MY KIND TRANCEDS YOUR UNDERSTANDING. WE ARE EACH A NATION, INDEPENDENT AND PERFECT IN FORM, FREE OF ALL WEAKNESSES. YOU CANNOT EVEN GRASP THE NATURE OF OUR EXISTANCE. YOUR PETTY GODS ARE NOTHING BEFORE US.**

"No damn you!" Shepard shouted. "You not gods, you are just machines. Our fate and our path are our own! You came from somewhere, someone built you! Who?" He demanded.

**WE HAVE NO BEGINNING. WE HAVE NO END. WE ARE INFINTE. MILLIONS OF YEARS AFTER YOUR ENTIRE CIVILIZATION IS DUST, WE WILL ENDURE. **

"You're a machine. Machines can be broken. And we will break you." Shepard declared defiantly.

**YOUR WORDS ARE AS MEANINGLESS AS YOUR FUTURE. I AM THE VANGUARD OF YOUR DESTRUCTION, A MERE HERALD OF YOUR DOOM. THIS EXCHANGE IS OVER.**

The hologram winked out and the electronics in the room overloaded in a series of explosions, shattering the nearby glass window. Tali raced forward to see if she could retrieve any data, but the consol was fried.

Shepard's comm. buzzed, and Joker's voice could be heard. "Normandy to shore part, come in shore party."

"This is shore party, what's the situation Joker?"

"Commander, I don't know what the hell you are doing but that dreadnaught just pulled a turn that would rip any of our ships that size in half. Whatever your doing, you need to do it fast and get the hell out of there." Joker franticly informed the team.

"Rodger that joker, shore party out." Shepard replied.

"The best place to set the bomb is just up ahead." Ganto said, "We should hurry."

They hurried out into a corrodor leading to two large blast doors, guarded by a pair of juggernauts and rocket troopers.

"We need to end this, fast!" Shepard yelled.

"Go, I'll cover you!" Ganto said, firing his pistol at the geth.

The rest of the team charged forwards, and Tali let loose with a barrage of explosions, hacking commands, and shotgun blasts letting loose everything in her arsenal. The geth went down fast.

"Nice work." Ganto said, hobbling up to the team clutching his leg.

"Your hit Lieutenant." Shepard said, "You should have stayed back, you have no shields."

"Never mind that, the mission comes first. The AA tower is just ahead, go on, I'll catch up."

The courtyard ahead was fairly clear, and Shepard and Tali wasted no time in disabling the generator. "You're all clear Joker, get over here!" Shepard radioed.

"An interesting scheme, Shepard." A turian voice said smugly behind them, and Tali whirled to see the grey face of Saren.

"It's him, get down!" Shepard roared, and the team dove for cover and Saren unleashed several rocked barrages.

"My geth were certain your diversion team was the real threat. Admirably done, but this ends now." Saren said, drawing his pistol and firing at their position.

"You are working for the Reapers!" Shepard yelled. "You've been indoctrinated, just like your subordinates."

"Oh no Shepard, I joined them out of my own free will." Saren laughed.

"How could you! Sovereign wants to destroy all life in the galaxy, how can you serve a being like that!" Tali yelled, popping up to blast with her weapon.

"Be silent among your betters, suit-rat. The reapers need servants. As long as I am useful, I may preserve a portion of organic life. If I stay useful to them, serve them, they will never indoctrinate me."

"That's a pack of lies Saren, you saw what happened to those salarians!" Shepard said as he chucked a grenade towards Saren.

"Hmph. Your ignorance shows itself." Saren remarked calmly, unharmed, "I've studied indoctrination, seen its effects. The more Sovereign exerts his control, the less capable his servants become. If I am to remain his best agent, he dares not Indoctrinate me."

"You, turian, are a fool." Ganto said, right behind Saren, and calmly shot the ex-SPECTRE in the chest.

"RAH!" Saren roared, and flung the STG operative into a wall.

"Now!" Shepard yelled, and the squad unleashed a barrage of biotic, tech and weapons powers on the turian. Wounded and dazed, Saren limped over to his transport and flew off.

"Take care of him!" Shepard yelled, indicating Ganto.

Tali rushed over, and found Ganto was unconscious but still breathing. She treated the salarian with medi gel and signaled he was fine.

The Normandy came screaming in, too fast for its own sound to be heard until it was already there. Ashley and several marines down the ramp, carrying the improvised nuke.

"Just give me a few minutes to arm it commander and this place will be nothing but dust." Ashley stated as she began the arming sequence.

"Got it." Shepard touched his hand to his ear, "Doorbuster, this is Shadow. Disengage and retreat, I repeat, disengage and withdraw, the device is planted and we are arming it now."

"No can do commander." Kaiden responded. "We are just south of your position, pinned down by enemy fire. We lost to many men, we will keep them busy. Blow Saren to hell and gone and get yourselves out of here."

Ashley looked up from the bomb. "Go get them commander; it will take me a few minutes to arm this thing anyway. Pick up Kaiden then come back for me."

"Ash I-" Shepard started.

She reached for him and kissed Shepard on the lips. Tali looked away, blushing. She felt a surge of jealousy, wishing it were she the commander loved.

"He chose her, you bosh'tet, and she's your friend." She muttered.

"Go get Kaiden. We don't leave a man behind." Ashely said, pulling away.

"Aye aye Chief." Shepard said hoarsely. He turned to the marines carrying Ganto's unconscious form aboard.

"Get him aboard and met me at Alenko's location." He turned to Tali and Wrex. "Let's go save the Lieutenant and blow this place."

They rushed across the courtyard to another huge blast door. A few krogan and hopper geth holdouts fired at the advancing party geth hoppers springing madly about. But a singularity from Wrex put an end to the hoppers antics, and the team shot them down easily. With their support gone, the krogan were easily overwhelmed.

Racing across a walkway, Tali almost stumbled as her private channel crackled to life.

"Hey, Tali." Ashley's voice slurred over the comm. "I'm not going to make it."

Tali sucked in her breath; the sound of automatic weapons fire was easily heard. "What? Don't be a bosh'tet Ashley, of course you are."

"Yeah, that's a negative. Half my guts are spread over this fucking courtyard. Damn geth ambushed me." Ashley groaned.

"What? No, we will come back for you! Shepard!" Tali called.

"Damn it, no, this place is a killing field. Rescue Kaiden, don't tell the commander. It was nice knowing you. Take good care of Shepard, Tali. He's something special."

"What is it Tali? We have to move." Shepard panted as he continued to dash towards Kaiden.

"Ashley's hurt, we have to go back! She won't make it." Tali yelled, waving franticly. 'Oh Keelah, let her live, let him choose here. I don't want him over her dead body.' Tali though to herself.

"WHAT!" Shepard screamed, halting mid stride.

"You won't make it commander. I armed the bomb already. It will go off before you can get back here, and I'm a gonner anyway. Save the Lieutenant, it's the right thing to do."

"Commander this is Alenko, go save Ashley. I know you care about her, Don't let her die for my sake." Kaiden broke in.

"Shepard. We will meet again. Remember what I told you. God doesn't let people stay apart forever. We know where we're going. Get Kaiden and the salarians."

Shepard's face was a mask of horror, presented with an impossible choice.

"Don't stand there looking like an idiot, Shepard." Ash said, her voice woozy with blood loss. "I'll shoot you myself if you come back, and then you would get to heaven first."

"Ash…" Tears ran down Shepard's face, and he turned back towards Kaiden and the trapped Salarians. "Kaiden, I'm coming for you. Get ready for evac."

"Shepard, no." Tali whispered, tears running down her own face. "You love her."

"I do. That's why I will listen to her. Come on Tali." His voice was emotionless, dead.

Tali felt nothing, not even the recoil of her shotgun as they quickly gunned downed the geth between them and Kaiden's team. She didn't feel Wrex lift her and carry her aboard the Normandy. She didn't hear Kaiden's screams as he yelled in Shepard's face, and she barely saw the grateful looks of the remains of the salarian STG squad as they thanked Shepard's squad for the rescue. She didn't even feel the blast as the Normandy fled Sovereign and the atmosphere of Virmire.

She just sat, staring into space, as the _Normandy_ rabbited to FLT.

"Oh Ancestors." Her mind echoed, "He loved her. He loved her and he left her. Now he's mine. But why did she have to die first."

She didn't notice as Garrus and Liara tried to comfort her, as Wrex tried to tell her what a glorious battle it had been and how Ashley had died with honor. Later they would tell her, through her mask, even though she had disabled her audio speakers they heard her scream, long into the cold darkness of space.

"She was my friend." Again and again, without realizing it, she screamed. "She was my friend, oh Keelah, why did she have to die."

_Unna'Karis: The records don't record Ashley and Shepard's romance._

_Tali'Zorah: We didn't tell outsiders. It wasn't something they needed to know. It was a family matter, and my sister died. _

_UK: You must have been torn though, you loved Shepard and wanted him for yourself then didn't you?_

_TZ: You really don't understand do you? She was not just my rival. Shepard's heart was a prize to be sure, but she was my sister. I mourn her to this day. When she died, the way she died, I didn't even know if I wanted Shepard anymore. He left her to die, if he loved me, would he not do the same? That was how I felt. Life is not a grand romance at all times, Unna'Karis._

_UK: I see. Thank you, Tali Zorah. Do… Do you wish to continue?_

_TZ: Yes. My story was far from over, and though Ashley was dead, she lived on, her sacrifice bought the galaxy precious years, without which we would have succumbed to the reapers. I would dishonor her sacrifice by not telling that story.  
_

Authors Note:

As a personal request, I would ask for this plot twist and all future plot twists, please do your best to avoid any spoilers in reviews. Feel free to PM me about this and all future events though, and thank you as always for reading.


	9. Chapter 8: Life Continues

_Unna'Karis: How did you cope with the grief of losing a shipmate._

_Tali'Zorah: I did what any good quarian would, I tried to lose myself in work._

_UK: Did that work?  
TZ: (Laughs) No, does it ever? No, I finally was brought out of my grief by my friends._

Chapter 8: Life Continues

Tali felt the soft bump as the Normandy entered the Citadel's own mass effect fields and the dull thud of the mooring clamps as they locked on to the _Normandy._

"Come on Tali, let's get some fresh air." Garrus said, coming over to where she was tinkering.

"No thanks, I'm going to stay aboard and get some work done." She said, trying to keep her voice happier then she actually felt.

Garrus's mandibles twitched in irritation. "No, you're not. You are going to go get some fresh air."

Now it was Tali's turn to be irritated. "And who died and left you in charge?" She demanded then stopped short, barely containing her tears.

Stepping forward, Garrus put a comforting arm around Tali's shoulders. "It's OK Tali. I think you need to cry a bit more, and as a former C-Sec officer, I know all the best places to go after a botched mission."

"Are you sure you want to be seen with a suit rat." Tali whispered, remembering her treatment on her previous visit to the Citadel.

"Hey! Anyone calls you that, you let me know, and I'll tell Wrex so he can rip their arms off." Garrus said, trying to bring a little humor into the conversation.

Tali half sobbed, half laughed at the poor joke. "Hey, don't kid about that, I think Wrex really would rip their arms off."

"Your damn right I would." Wrex growled, stomping up himself. "But I'm afraid my niece's bar crawl is going to have to wait."

Tali looked at Wrex gratefully behind her mask. "Thanks Wrex, I appreciate it. I really would rather stay here and get some things done."

Wrex shook his head. "That ain't what I mean. I was told Uncle's usually get stuff for their niece, and that females of your species, and damn near every species as far as I can tell, like cultural events. So I am taking you to one."

Garrus's eye crests rose in amusement. "You didn't." He said dryly.

Wrex glared at him. "It's for her, not for me."

Raising his in surrender, Garrus proclaimed, "I wash my hands of this entire endeavor. You should have come to the bar with me while you could Tali. I guess I'll grab Alenko and go drag Shepard out from moping in his quarters and he'll go to the bar with me. Have fun at your 'cultural event' you two."

Planting her hands on her hips and turning to Wrex Tali tried her best at a death glare, but the mask blocked most of it. "You are not dragging me off to any sort of cultural event."

Wrex chuckled. "Oh, I'm not. She is though."

Tali turned to see Liara in a beautiful gown, it's pale rose hue complimenting her blue skin. "Liara? What are you?" Tali began.

"I am taking you clothes shopping." Liara said, smiling. "Then the two of us are joining Wrex for the- What did you call it? Cultural event."

Tali could feel herself blushing. "Clothes shopping?" She desperately wanted a new suit, hers was becoming ragged and patched, and a new suit would probably make her feel much more quarian.

Nodding, Liara replied, "Indeed, there are several shops in the wards that have excellent quality dress suits for quarians. With your back pay, you can easily afford several and Wrex has generously offered to buy you one."

"Don't need more than one damn suit. I only have two sets of armor, all a man needs." Wrex grumbled.

Turning back to the old krogan, Tali felt a mix of emotions. "Wrex this is… This is something I can't say no to, can I?" She let herself cry, softly sobbing. "I know your trying to get me out, and to be honest I am starting to want to. I thought I could lose myself in work, but I can't. Going shopping… That would help I think. Thank you, Uncle Wrex."

Wrex looked away, hemming and hawing. "Yeah, you do that. Don't be late. I already bought tickets." And he stomped off, muttering to himself.

"Well, shall we?" Liara said, smiling.

Tali nodded. "Yes, I think I do want to do this now."

The noise and bustle of the wards was soothing to Tali, even with the stares strangers gave her. She noticed that Liara was getting just as many of them, and that the normally reclusive asari was having a hard time dealing with it.

"Hey, it's alright." Tali said, touching Liara's hand. "Don't let them bother you, they can think whatever they want, it doesn't change who we are or what we have done for them."

Liara took Tali's hand and smiled at her, laughing. "Thanks, I was starting to feel like I was betraying you, feeling embarrassed about being with you, I even caught myself thinking 'what will these people think seeing me with a quarian.' I was feeling so guilty. Thank you for being my friend Tali, you matter more to me then these plebeians."

Squeezing Liara's hand, Tali smiled. "It's OK, what matters is you are willing to be my friend even if you have doubts. Sometimes I doubt what my father would think, me being on a human ship, going shopping with an asari friend because I am grieving my human shipmate. He never approved of aliens."

Liara and Tali embraced, then separated when they heard a disgusted sound.

"Ugh, what are you doing with one of those? I swear, purebloods are disgusting enough, but with a suit-rat? You people disgust me." A well dressed asari said, glaring at the two friends.

Tali and Liara didn't even have to look at each other; they had been in combat together enough times to sense the other's intention.

"Don't kill her, just knock some sense into her." Tali cautioned.

"I will do my best." Liara said smoothly.

"What, don't you dare-" The rude asara said, but twin fists smashed into her face, knocking her down and out for the count.

"Hey, what's going on!" A human C-Sec officer yelled, running over to the commotion.

"This unfortunate woman made the mistake of insulting my friend." Liara replied silkily.

"And she insulted my friend as well." Tali said, trying to keep a straight face.

"So we helped her see the error of her ways by giving her voluntary facial restructuring" Liara said with a grin, and Tali nodded.

The C-Sec officer carefully looked from one woman to the other, trying to decide what to do. "You know," He said carefully, "Most people lie when I ask what's going on."

"We don't feel the need." Tali replied, "After helping Commander Shepard blast through krogan, geth, and Ancestors know what else, one uppity asari isn't something we're going to take crap off of."

"By the goddess, she deserved it." Liara declared.

The officer started. "Woah, you're on commander Shepard's team? Yeah, I remember you, you were in that big broadcast with the Prime Minister!" He held out his hand.

"Sergeant Bailey, it's a pleasure to meet you two." He said, shaking Liara and Tali's hands.

"Likewise, officer. May we go about our business?" Liara asked.

Bailey nodded. "Of course. Pleasure meeting you two. Do try not to have any more accidents though; my superiors might start getting nosey."

The asari on the ground stirred. "Oh goddess, my head." She looked up. "Officer, I demand you arrest these two, they assaulted me!"

Bailey just laughed. "Lady, your punk ass is lucky. You just insulted two personal friends of Commander Shepard, the human SPECTRE, and close friends of the human Prime Minister. You're lucky I don't hall your blue behind in for disturbing the peace for your bitching."

The asari paled, and Tali couldn't help but shake her head as she and Liara walked away. "No officer, I can explain, I didn't know they were friends of a council SPECTRE, you don't need to arrest me, honest."

"By the goddess, that felt good." Liara said as they walked into the quarian suit shop, rubbing her shoulder and grinning.

"Good stress relief, educating the galaxies bosh'tet population." Tali quipped.

"One nose at a time." Liara said, laughing.

They spent the next few hours selecting a new suit for Tali and loading it with various medical programs. The quarian clerk was very helpful.

"Oh your on pilgrimage aren't you, Miss?" He asked as he took Tali's measurements.

"Tali'Elah nar Shaada," she replied, throwing a look at Liara to keep silent.

"Ah, excellent. Our suits are the finest around. I have heard of the nar Shaada, my brother's mate came from that ship, she is a good vessel."

"Oh, that's great." Tali said, hoping he wouldn't press further. The Shaada was a small vessel, and though she knew its captain, Tali was clueless as to the rest of the crew.

"Yes, you are all set. We have a clean room for you to change in the back, top grade. We have only a 2% rate of infection, and the room is thoroughly cleaned after each use by our top of the line automated systems." The clerk said, clearly only making small talk.

"Thank you." Tali said, hurrying inside to change.

The cool disinfectant mist felt wonderful, Tali had not felt much sensation her bare skin in an age. She studied herself in the mirror.

"Wow, I am growing up!" She said, flexing her muscles. There were far more than there used to be, and her pale body was toned from the hard combat and drills she had been going through daily since joining Shepard's crew.

She fingered her skin, soft and pale due to spending her entire life in a suit. "I wonder if I am beautiful." She whispered, studying her form in the mirror.

She knew what the general ideals of quarian beauty were, wide hips, small breasts and long arms. She generally fit those criteria, though with everyone spending their life in a suit, it was hard to remember what a beautiful face was. No one enjoyed seeing pictures of bare quarian faces if it was not their lover; it reminded them to much of what they were missing. She also found herself wondering if she fit the human image of beauty. She shook her head.

"You don't even know if you love that bosh'tet anymore." She told her reflection, but she knew she was lying. She still loved Shepard, and it scared her to death. Both that she could love someone who would leave behind his own lover, and that she feared rejection. Her emotions overwhelmed and confused her, and she tried to push them away.

"At least a new suit will make me feel better!" She said, trying to sound happier then she felt.

Touching the durable fabric of the suit, Tali smiled. It was of finer make then her old suit, and of softer coloring too. It was beautiful, and something obviously made by her own people, though not on the migrant fleet, the materials were to fine for that. She quickly put it on and studied herself. It was a perfect fit, and it was rather flattering, emphasizing her hips and arms nicely.

As she studied the medical programs, she felt herself nodding in approval. Whoever had made the suit had made sure it was suitable for a quarian. The suit even had a full stock of dextro-medigel and immune boosters. Stepping out of the room, she presented herself to the clerk and Liara.

"Ta da." She said softly.

Liara put her hands to her face and gasped. "Tali, it's gorgeous! You simply must get that one, your Uncle Wrex will love it!"

The clerk nodded. "Yes, I am sure your uncle will. Though I admit, Wrex is a rather strange name for a quarian."

Tali felt herself blushing. "Ah, you see, he is actually a krogan."

"Oh of course, Wrex is a rather krogan name I think." The clerk said as if having a quarian with a krogan uncle and escorted by an asari was the most normal thing in the world. "Will you take the suit ma'am?"

"Yes, it is beautiful." Tali nodded.

"Excellent! Step right over here, I will package your old suit and have it delivered to your ship." The clerk said.

"Ah, I would prefer to take it with me." Tali interrupted.

The clerk nodded. "Of course, let me retrieve it and box it in a clean container for you then, just a moment."

When the clerk left the room, Liara came over and said, "Elah nar Shaada?"

Tali inwardly groaned. "Let's just say that sometimes, I don't want to be my father's daughter. He's a famous Admiral, a leader of our people, and I don't want this clerk fawning over me anymore then he already is."

Liara nodded. "Ah, I understand. It is sometimes difficult to be a famous matriarch's daughter as well. I used to wonder how I would ever get out of my mother's shadow. But now…" She trailed off, looking down.

Tali put her hand on Liara's shoulder to comfort her. "Hey, I'm sorry. At least my father isn't actually trying to kill me. I'm sure Benezia has a good reason for what she is doing."

Liara looked up, tears on her face. "No Tali, she does not. I hoped so at first, but after hearing about Indoctrination… My mother is dead, and it lies to me to put her body in her grave. What walks and talks now is nothing but a mockery."

Hugging Liara tight, Tali said, "I am sorry, I am so sorry." The two held each other for a moment, each comforting the other in their grief. When they broke apart, both jumped to find the quarian clerk standing politely and silently behind them.

"Here is your suit Miss nar Shaada. Would you and your partner care to see our selection of nerve stimulators? I and my own asari mate have several favorites, all excellent deals."

Tali and Liara both blushed deeply, and Tali started babbling. "Oh, no us, were just friends actually, just shipmates, nothing like that. Sorry, no need for stimulators for us! Or at all for that matter! Not that there's anything wrong with an asari and quarian, I wish you happiness! Thank-you-so-much-goodbye."

She swiped the credit chit Wrex had given her and tried to get out, desperately pretending she did not hear the cry of, "We also have quarian to krogan models! Come back soon!"

Liara and Tali walked in silence for a moment, then to Tali's further embarrassment Liara burst out laughing. "Oh goddess, he thought the two of us- And then you and Wrex? Oh if only he knew."

"I am not carrying a torch for anybody." Tali grumbled.

Liara smiled knowingly. "Of course, that's why you have been so mopey the last few days." She glanced over at a small café. "We have some time before we need to meet Wrex, let's stop for a quick bit and chat."

They sat down at a booth and a volus waiter waddled up to them. "Kssssh- Hello, welcome to Rella Nuges Eatery. Huuushh- We proudly serve all races that come to the citadel. How might I-Hiissss- Serve you?"

"I will have your Thessian Yemmet with a human red wine." Liara replied.

"Sterile nutrient paste for me, Elcor Smooth and Spicy flavor if you have it, with some triple distilled turian brandy." Tali said.

"Excellent –pssshhh- choices. I will be back shortly." The volus bowed and waddled off.

Liara smiled at Tali. "My treat."

"You sure? I have enough money now." Tali stated.

Liara giggled. "Of course, though I must say this is not a date. Not that I don't like you Tali, just not like that."

Tali reddened, wondering if it was her doom to spend the rest of her days either embarrassed or panicked. "Oh, um, I like you too Liara. As a friend."

"Oh goddess, I thought you were going to die of embarrassment when that clerk offered to sell you those stimulators."

"Hmm. If I remember right, he was offering them to you too." Tali shot back.

Now it was Liara's turn to flush. "Ah, yes. He was." She recovered and smiled. "Still though, it was good to hear another asari is willing to look past your people's masks. We claim to be the most cultured and advanced race in the galaxy, but my people can be just as bigoted and crude as any other species," Liara grimaced, "As that miserable specimen proved to us today."

Tali shrugged. "My own father is just about the most xenophobic person you will ever meet. He hates the council races for never lifting a finger to aid us, or to help us retake our planet. I haven't even bother to tell him I am serving on a human ship, he would never approve."

The waiter waddled back over with two trays of food, hissed, bowed and made his exit. The two friends happily chatted over their meal, discussing the various flaws of their own species and what they could do to improve the galaxy.

"I would like to one day control enough knowledge to let others see the light, about the protheans, about themselves." Liara related. "What do you want Tali?"

Without having to think, Tali simply said, "Love, and a homeworld."

Liara nodded and smiled. "Noble goals. I am finished, are you ready to go to our cultural event?"

Standing, Tali said, "Yes, though I have to know, what exactly are we going to attend?"

Liara smiled. "It was Wrex's idea, and when he told me about it I knew it would be perfect. I am coming too so let me know if it is too much."

As they made their way to Wrex, Tali tried to guess what it was, but each time Liara simply smiled and said "No."

As they came up to Wrex, Tali finanally said, "Ok, naked salarian mud wrestling, final guess."

Liara laughed. "No, you were closest with an elcor poetry reading."

Tali started, and looked around. "I was? You don't mean-"

"About time you two got here." Wrex grumbled, ambling over. "Come on, seating started five minutes ago. I swear, you send two females to do anything and it takes them twice as long as if you send two males."

"But we get it done with twice the fun and four times the efficiency." Tali sniped.

"Says you." Wrex said, and they walked up to the theater ticket window.

"Oh, Keelah," Tali whispered to Liara, "Is this what I think it is?"

Liara laughed. "Oh yes, yes it is. It should be fun!"

Tali groaned. "Cultural event. You suckered me T'soni."

"Three for_ Hamlet_, tickets reserved under Urdnot."

The massive elcor salesclerk replied. "With professional dispassion: Here are your tickets sir. We remind you that no weapons are to be brought into the theater. Professional Warmth: Thank you and enjoy the show."

Wrex grabbed the tickets and motioned for the two now laughing women to follow him.

"Can't a damn krogan have a hobby?" He muttered darkly.

"Yes Wrex," Tali said between giggles, "It's just usually hitting things."

"Nothing wrong with that. Or this either." Wrex grumbled as they took their seats.

"Uh, excuse me." A timid salarian voice said behind them.

"What!" Wrex growled, his eyes glowing as he spun around to face his questioner, "Can't see little frog?"

The salarian sunk down into his seat. "Oh no, I can see fine, just fine. Enjoy the show. Heh."

"I will, thank you." Wrex snapped and he turned back around.

"Quite a crowd." Liara remarked, looking around.

"Yes, the reviews say that their capture of Hamlet's actions is incredible, and the female they have playing Ophelia brings strength to the role rarely seen." Wrex said, his face eager with anticipation.

"Oh boy." Tali said, trying hard not to laugh at what was obviously Wrex's passion.

"Shhh! Its starting." Wrex hushed, and the lights dimmed. A couple directly in front of Tali continued to snuggle and giggle. "I said SHHH!" Wrex barked, and the section was immediately frozen in silence.

"Better." Wrex said, sitting back with a smile on his face as the curtain opened.

Hours later, Tali stumbled out of the theater. "That was… Interesting."

"Bathroom bathroom bathroom!" Liara said, rushing to relieve herself.

"That was incredible!" Wrex shouted, jumping and slamming his fists together in an uncharacteristic display of passion. "The intensity! They captured the spirit of the play so beautifully! That was amazing! Someday I'm going to have to have an all krogan production! Just think, Hamlet with the fury and passion of the krogan!"

A deep voice boomed behind them, "With Intense Delight: Thank you sir, I am glad you enjoyed our play. It is a pleasure to see someone with such a passion for the arts."

Tali turned and groaned. "Er, I am going to use the bathroom as well Wrex."

"Uh-huh. Sure. Meet you at the bar." Wrex said absently, turning to the elcor that had played Hamlet. "Sir, that was an incredible play. You capture the spirit of Hamlet beautifully; surely no human has ever played the role so perfectly!" Wrex hooted, slapping the elcor actor on his shoulder.

Tali hurried off before the elcor could respond, but she had a feeling Wrex and that elcor were going to be talking for hours. Not many other people seemed to be as enthused as Wrex, and if he hadn't barked at the first couple who got up to leave two hours in to "Sit down! How can you turn your back on such an excellent performance!"She had a feeling more people would have left. As it was, she was pretty sure the janitorial staff was going to hate Wrex for all the wet sets people left behind after the five hour production "And that was the abridged version!" She muttered.

Liara came walked out of the bathrooms, looking much relieved. "Well, I must say that was thoroughly enlightening. Though I do not know if I ever wish to see an elcor production again, I am… Glad… I saw that one."

Stretching out her back, Tali felt something pop and sighed. "For once I think everyone envied my suit, I was pretty sure Wrex would have used a biotic stasis on anyone that tried to get up to go to the bathroom."

"I think a few people didn't have the need after he threatened that turian with 'pulling his face scales off one at a time' if he blocked Wrex's view again." Liara giggled.

"Let's go to the club, I think I need to dance a bit to work the kinks out." Tali suggested.

"Yes, that sounds wonderful. I need to MOVE!" Liara declared, and the two tired but content friends wove their way over to Flux.

Much later that night, Tali, Liara and Wrex made their way back to the Normandy.

"Well, I have to thank the two of you for getting me out of the ship. I think I did have fun today." Tali said, yawning as they entered the airlock.

"Ugh, thank me in the morning. I think I had one to many of those 'rum and cokes' the human bartender was serving." Liara groaned.

"Seemed pretty weak to me." Wrex said, belching loudly.

Tali quickly turned off her olfactory sensors. "Thanks for sharing Uncle Wrex."

The old krogan started. "Oh, I almost forgot. Here, I want you to give this to Shepard."

He handed Tali his paper copy of Hamlet. "What, Wrex are you sure? You love this."

The old krogan nodded. "Yeah, but it was Ashley's favorite. I got it signed by the entire cast of Hamlet."

Opening the book, Tali saw the large, block signatures of dozens of elcor, and even the fancy signature of "Francis Kitt" on the front pages.

"Are you sure you don't want to give it to him." Tali asked, looking over at the krogan.

Wrex gave Tali a measured look, before saying, "What, and spoil my image as a battle hardened warrior? No, it should come from you. Can't have people thinking I've gone soft."

Giggling, Liara said to Tali in a stage whisper, "I think everyone on this ship knows he's just a big old softie."

In an equally audible whisper, Tali replied, "Yes, but everyone who was in the theater is convinced he's an old troll."

Grumbling, Wrex stomped off to the elevator, mumbling something about "Ungrateful pyjaks," and "Uncultured varren."

Her heart beating a stacco in her chest, Tali slowly walked over to Shepard's cabin, and was surprised to see Garrus, Pressly and Kaiden exciting his cabin.

"That's the last time I play cards with a biotic." Pressly muttered.

"Oh come on Pressly, I didn't use my biotics at all. I'm just good at reading people." Kaiden laughed.

"And that damn turian has a face made of stone!" Pressly accused, pointing a finger at Garrus.

"Actually, it's an exo-skeletal metallic compound of iron and magnesium with a few other trace elements."Garrus quipped. "And you are pretty easy to read Pressly."

"Same time next week?" Kaiden asked.

"Damn right, I have to get my money back somehow. Come on you two, I'll treat you to dinner at the mess. Took to damn much of my money for me to buy anything else." Pressly grumbled.

Spying Tali, Garrus said, "I'll be along in a minute." Walking over to her, he asked, "How was the play?" Gleeful mischief on his face.

"Not too bad. You should have been there. Wrex probably would have ripped out all your head quills for breathing to loud." Tali replied.

Guffawing, Garrus clicked his mandibles in satisfaction. "Oh I don't know, it couldn't have compared to my evening for new experiences."

"Oh?" Tali said curiously, "What sort of new experiences? Didn't you go drinking and play cards?"

"Well yes, we did as a matter of fact." Garrus nodded, "But that's not all."

"Come on you bosh'tet turian, don't hold me in suspense, what were you up to? Throwing waste removal sheets on the council's lawn? Writing crude remarks about the veracity of the turian councilor in the bathrooms?"

"Hmm, actually that sounds like fun, but no. We went to Mass." Garrus replied.

"Mass? Like a mass effect field? Some sort of amusement park?" Tali inquired.

"No, it's the human word for a religious service. We even got to drink blood. We'll, Shepard and Alenko did, they wouldn't let me." Garrus said casually.

Shocked, Tali asked, "What? Shepard drinks blood? And Kaiden too? What kind of cult is it? Do they not like turians?"

Garrus scratched his head quills. "Well, actually there were turians there that they let drink, though obviously from a dextro container. And as far as I could tell from Kaiden's explanation, it wasn't actually blood, just wine that they said became blood when they drank it. I was a bit lost to be honest."

"What?" Tali was perplexed. "So they had wine that became blood and they wouldn't let you drink but there were turians that did?"

"Er, yeah. Apparently you have to be some sort of member before they let you drink their wine-blood. I didn't think any respectable turian would join their group, but apparently it's quite popular with human C-Sec officers, and a few of the turian officers have joined up. I heard about it when I was in C-Sec, but I never went myself."

Tali decided she would have to ask Shepard to take her sometime, just to see if Garrus was pulling a fast one or if he was telling the truth. "Humans are pretty odd, but listen, I have to give Shepard this, its Ashleys copy of Hamlet signed by all the elcor cast members and Fransis Kitt. You think now is a good time?"

"Probably," Garrus replied, "He's doing OK right now, and he's not even all that drunk. I think it would mean a lot to him if you gave it to him."

"Alright." Tali walked over to Shepard's cabin and pressed the intercom.

"Enter." Shepard called, and she opened the door and stepped in.

Shepard was over on his bed, reading from another paper book. Tali was a bit envious, on the migrant fleet paper was almost impossible to come by, and the space taken up by books was such that quarian vessels had very few.

"Hello Tali, what can I do for you?" The commander asked, doing his best to smile.

Studying his face, Tali realized Shepard looked as though he had aged five years in the last few days. His eyes were dark and sunken in his face as if he had not slept since Ashley had died, and his skin was pasty and wrinkled. She found herself worrying, wondering if Shepard was taking it all to hard.

"Well," She thought to herself, "He did leave Ashley to die. Serves him right for abandoning the woman he loves."

_But then Kaiden would be dead, and so would a dozen salarians._ Something in the back of her mind reminded her. Tali felt grateful she did not have the burden of command on her shoulders. Some choices had no good outcome.

"Actually, it's what I can do for you Shepard. Wrex had Ashley's copy of Hamlet, and he got it signed by all the actors at the production we went to. We all knew Ashley loved poetry, and we felt it would be a good way to honor her. He wanted you to have it, but he was to embarrassed to give it to you himself, so he sent me in his stead."

Setting aside his book, Shepard stood and walked over to Tali, carefully taking the beaten old book in his hands.

"Thank you Tali." Shepard hoarsely whispered, "This means a great deal to me. I think Ash would have loved to have her book signed."

Tali watched as Shepard's face lifted, his eyes growing a bit brighter and filling with tears. "Will that be all?" He asked.

For a moment, Tali wanted to reach out to Shepard, to hug and comfort him, to tell him everything would be alright. But then she withdrew, to afraid of rejection to put herself out where she could be hurt, the same way Ashley had been.

"No captain, I will retire now if that's alright with you."

Shepard nodded absently. "Dismissed."

Walking over to a rest pod, Tali wondered what would have happened if she had taken the risk and told Shepard about her feelings. Her emotions were a chaotic swirl of self loathing, nervousness and fear.

"Maybe someday he will love me." She whispered to herself as she lay back, and sleep took her.

_Unna'Karis: Did you manage to heal after your friends comforted you?  
Tali'Zorah: Somewhat. I am at peace with it now at least, that I would not come to that place for a long time. And all our next mission would bring was more wounds to heal._


	10. Chapter 9: Geth Incursion

_Unna'Karis: I know from history class you moved against the geth in the Skyllian Verge during the first part of the reaper war._

_Tali'Zorah: Yes, the _Normandy_ was dispatched to deal with geth threatening human colonies._

_UK: Is that where you found the Song of the Ancients?_

_TZ: Yes. When I found it, it was through a sea of blood. _

_UK: Fitting. We inflicted too much upon the geth._

Chapter 9: Geth Incursion

Wiping the sweat off her brow was difficult for Tali, and the occasional drops of sweat that feel into her eyeballs irritated her. She grumbled as she worked on the drive discharge. The Normandy's stealth systems were advanced, but required constant maintenance.

"Come on you bosh'tet machine, work with me…" She grunted as she found the problem, another burned out piece of insulation had caused some wiring to fray. She quickly made the necessary repairs and called to Engineer Adams.

"Good work Tali, looks like it's working now. The Commander came looking for you a little while ago, seems like it was something important. Why don't you go check with him." Adams told her.

"You sure? Can't it wait?" Tali asked, "I think there's a few more maintenance issues we should resolve as fast as possible."

Adams shook his head. "The rest of us can handle it. You go see what the commander wants Tali."

Sighing, Tali walked out of engineering and headed for the elevator. Her emotions regarding the commander were still rather mixed, but this was still his ship, and stopping Saren was still a priority. She would be respectful and polite, and do her best not to obsess over whether or not he had abandoned Ashley on Virmir.

Arriving at Shepard's cabin, Tali pressed the intercom. "Tali reporting as ordered, captain." She formally stated.

The door opened and Shepard smiled at Tali from the threshold. "Tali, I have a few things I want to discuss with you. Please, come inside."

Swallowing hard, Tali nodded. She suddenly remembered that it had been Shepard who had been in love with Ashley, and that it was hitting him harder than anyone else. His face was lined and his eyes sunken with deep shadows beneath them, as if he had not slept in days. Even though it had been several weeks, Shepard seemed to still be grieving.

'If he grieves her, why oh why did he abandon her?' Tali wondered to herself as she stepped into the room.

"You called for me Shepard?" She asked.

Nodding, Shepard handed her a holo-pad. "Take a look at this and tell me what you think."

As she read through the report, Tali felt herself becoming increasingly alarmed. It detailed the geth moving in the Armstrong Cluster. While the scattered forces Saren commanded could be excused as a splinter faction, the number of reports of activity indicated a large number of combat platforms.

"This is bad Shepard, we haven't seen the geth move like this, not since the Geth Rebellions. And their positioning… It looks like Saren is moving to make a full scale assault on all human holdings in the Skyllian Verge."

"That's what I was afraid you'd say." Shepard said, his face tightening even further. "I just received this data from Admiral Hackett, and you are our resident expert on the geth. The brass is fairly certain this is jus t an intel gathering move by the geth, but with Saren hell bent on destroying humanity and bringing back the Reapers, I am worried this might be the start of something big. We also have reports of Saren having holdings on Noveria, a corporate planet renowned for its R&D services in an environment where people don't ask many questions. But I am prioritizing this geth incursion first."

"I think you are right commander, this could pose a serious threat to the galaxy at large." Tali stated worriedly, "The geth moving outside the Veil in such numbers is a very, very bad thing. It might even mean that Saren has convinced the majority of the geth to follow him instead of the small splinter group we initially thought was behind him."

Shepard nodded. "That there is no time to waste. We are about a six hours away from the first site. I'll alert navigation." Shepard started for the door, then turned back to Tali. "Tali, I know we all took Ash's death hard, but you're the youngest of the crew, and you and Ash were pretty close. You doing OK?"

There it was again, Shepard's compassion and love. Even in the midst of his own grief, he was reaching out to others. How could he still find the strength in the midst of his own torment?

"I'm fine Shepard," Tali hoarsely replied, "What about you? You two were lovers, were you not?"

Blushing, Shepard shook his head. "We might have been, we had feelings for each other yes, but we both agreed to wait until it was over." He half smiled his eyes distant. "I guess that was a mistake, huh."

Behind her mask, Tali felt a dozen feelings pulling her in a dozen directions. She chose her words carefully, not wanting to play on Shepard's grief to try to get close to him. "I don't know Shepard. She was my friend, and to you she was more. But she's gone, and all we can do now is make Saren pay."

Sighing, Shepard nodded. "Yeah. We can't live in the past. And we can't just stop living. Someday, maybe I will find another girl and settle down with her, raise a family. But right now we have a galaxy to save, and I just got a painful reminder that the battlefield is no place for romance." Shepard shook his head, then looked up with new resolve in his face. "There is still hope for the future, and I intend to make sure those colonies have one. Come on, let's go give the geth a kick in the teeth."

Trying hard to bring some levity to the situation, Tali lamely quipped, "Or at least a good boot in the processor."

Laughing far more then the joke deserved, Shepard clapped Tali on the back and led her out of his room. "That's the spirit Tali. Go get Garrus and prep the mako. We are going in hot."

A few hours later, Tali wondered how anyone who was as capable a combat commander and leader of sentient beings could be such a horrific driver. Her teeth clattered as the mako bounced through Antibaar's frozen purple wasteland.

"Geth contacts straight ahead." She managed as the latest bump jostled her.

"I've got them, bring me closer Shepard, I want to put a slug right in that eye of theirs." Gurrus called from the turret.

"We'll attack from that ridge over there, should give us a good view point." Shepard declared.

"Look out, drones incoming!" Tali shouted as blips appeared on her readout.

"I've got them." Garrus calmly replied, and the cannon roared to life as the mako sped onwards.

Impeccable as always, Garrus's marksmanship made shooting down the geth look easy, despite Shepard's best efforts to careen about the landscape like a drunken sailor on shore leave.

Examining the geth comm. chatter, Tali told Shepard, "Looks like they are aware of our presence, and," She gulped, "That's a colossus in the center of their base."

"Heh, no problem." Shepard chuckled, "Take out their anti-air turrets. A hit from the Normandy's guns will turn that thing into slag in no time."

"Roger that. Those turrets will be a piece of cake." Garrus confidently boasted.

True to his word, the turian operative made short work of the geth's defenses, and the _Normandy _came roaring in from low orbit, obliterating the rest of the geth outpost and turning the Colossus into slag.

"It's like they almost expected us to try a ground assault." Shepard remarked as they prepped for evac. "Why on earth would we make a run at those rocket troopers and colossus when we have a nice big warship to blast them away?"

"Their geth Shepard" Tali informed, "They aren't smart enough to realize high orbit is the highest ground."

"True enough. I am guessing though that particular trick won't work again, and we have three more worlds with signs of geth activity on them. It's going to be a long couple of days." Shepard said as they drove into the _Normandy's_ bay.

"Odd," Liara remarked as they poked through the scraps of the final geth base on Rayingri, sifting through rubble left from the firefight.

"What's odd Liara?" Tali asked, checking one of the geth troopers to see if it's memory core was intact.

"None of these bases appear to be any sort of command outpost. It's odd that we haven't found any signs of the geth leadership." Liara observed.

Thoughtfully, Tali replied, "Yes, even though the geth are a networked intelligence, I would expect some sort of central hub. Let me see if I can get any data indicating where it is from this one's memory core."

Sifting through the bits of scrambled data, managed to piece together some clues. "Hey Shepard, come over here a minute." She called.

Jogging over, the human SPECTRE asked, "What is it Tali?"

"It looks like this platform was receiving periodic command signals from five sources in this cluster." Tali explained, "We found four of them, but this points to a fifth outpost, and the unidentified source issued the most commands."

"Hmm." Shepard examined the data for himself, and after a few moments said, "Do you think you can triangulate the third set of coordinates from some of the signals we intercepted from the other outposts? We assumed they were all from the known bases and didn't examine them too closely."

"Absolutely. Once we get back to the Normandy, give me a few hours to analyze the signals with Garrus and we should be able to get a general idea of what system they are originating from." Tali assured Shepard.

"Excellent, let's head back then, doesn't look like there is much else to find here."

Back aboard the Normandy, Tali and Garrus began the long task of figuring out where the signal was originating from.

"I have to admit, back when I was in C-Sec I never would have imagined the smartest person I would know was going to be a female quarian." Garrus remarked.

"Oh? Is that racism, or sexism?" Tali asked jokingly.

Pretending to carefully ponder the question, Garrus replied, "Why, I think it's probably both. But you have shown me Tali, women and quarians can be alright. Even if they talk funny."

"What in the name of the Ancestor's makes you think I talk funny?" Tali laughed.

"Well there's that weird accent my translator gives you. Almost like the programmer was trying to make you sound dumb." Garrus mused.

"Well I don't complain about that weird reverb you turian's have in your voices, and it's not my translator that does that." Tali shot back.

Panto-miming being hit by an imaginary round, Garrus said with mock pain, "Oh, and such barb they sling at me!"

Giggling, Tali elbowed Garrus. "You've been hanging around with Wrex to much; you're starting to quote Hamlet."

Dropping his mandibles in exaggerated horror, Garrus made such a horrible face Tali couldn't help herself but laugh.

"Oh stop it; you look like someone put pyjak meat in your feeding tube."

"Now who's been hanging out with Wrex to much? Pyjak meat? We can't even eat that stuff, even if it was edible." Garrus teasingly asked.

"True, but I like being around Wrex, for someone who acts like such a tough old merc, he's a real softie inside." Tali replied.

Garrus nodded. "Yes, I think it's a good thing you have someone like that to take you under your wing. Shepard's been a bit of a mentor for me as well. When he and I took down Dr. Saleon… Well let's just say he taught me more about justice in one conversation then I learned at all my years at C-Sec."

"Kaiden told me about that. How many years was it you chased him?"

Garrus groaned. "To many, that is for sure. All the lives he ruined." His mandibles dropped in sadness. "Those poor souls on that ship… I'm glad you weren't there to see it Tali, it was a nightmare."

Garrus straightened up, his eyes blazing. "But now he's gone for good, and his blood is on his own hands. It was a good feeling, taking down evil, knowing I never compromised my own principles. When we finish with Saren, I want to be able to continue doing that. I don't think there is a place for me at C-Sec anymore, but there are plenty of monsters like Dr. Saleon out there, who think they are beyond the reach of the law. I want to be the one that reminds them no one escapes justice." He turned to Tali, "What do you want to do after this is all over Tali?"

"Finish my pilgrimage and return to my people." She replied simply, carefully not remarking that she half wanted to stay by Shepard's side.

"Won't taking down Saren count as your pilgrimage service?" Garrus inquired.

"Oh no, it has to be a direct gift to the migrant fleet. We are a very insular people; we have to be when no other species will give us aide, no offense."

Grunting, Garrus waved it away. "None taken, I'm starting to realize the line hierarchy has taken on quarians was wrong. We should have tried to do more for your people, maybe welcomed you to one of our colonies. As it is, we've taken all of the good dextro planets for ourselves."

"Thanks, Garrus." Tali said softly. "It matters to me to know there's at least one turian out there who cares."

"I'm glad. But what about after your pilgrimage Tali? What do you plan on doing after that?" Garrus asked again.

Tali sighed. "I don't know. Be a mechanic on a ship? Maybe use my knowledge to help my people have a better future? I don't know Garrus. I don't know what I want."

"That's hard." Garrus said, giving Tali a sympathetic look. "I've always known I wanted to be on the side of justice, but sometimes I didn't know quite where that was. You will find your path Tali, I am sure."

"Thanks, Garrus."

They worked in silence for a few more minutes, then Tali shouted in triumph. "There it is, looks like the signals are originating in the Grissom system."

"And there aren't to many places there they could be there. Do you want to let Shepard know, or should I?" Garru asked.

"You go ahead. I'm sure we will be deploying shortly." Tali replied.

"Were not going to sit on this one I think, Shepard wants those geth dead." Garrus agreed, and headed off to give Shepard the news. Sure enough, the _Normandy _was shortly speeding through space toward the final geth base.

"There it is." Tali said, examining the base with her binoculars. "Looks like that's where the signal is coming from."

"Shouldn't we just have the Normandy bomb it from orbit?" Kaiden asked, "It would make more sense than trooping into that kill zone he geth have set up over there."

"Negative. Too much valuable data an orbital bombardment could destroy. That's why we're going in with the mako though, plenty of fire power." Shepard said. "You get the turret Kaiden, were finishing this."

Climbing back into the mako, Tali took a couple of deep breaths. For once, she was less worried about Shepard's driving and more worried about the geth. Whatever was in that base, they had to stop it. Humanity could not suffer the same fate as the quarians.

As soon as the geth defenders were in range, Kaiden opened fire with the cannon and chain gun, blasting a geth platform off of its guard tower. The rest of the geth returned fire with sniper rounds and rockets, and Tali worked franticly to maintain power to the mako's shields. But the geth were taken by surprise, and shortly nothing was left outside the building except for the hole riddled remains of geth combat units.

Disembarking, Tali hurried to the others by the door. "I'll have it open in just a moment." She assured the commander, and quickly broke through the firewalls to open the door. Inside, the geth were waiting.

"GRENADES!" Shepard ordered, and the team lobbed explosives into the door as the geth fired from defensive positions.

Once the explosives detonated, Tali used the momentary calm to hack one of the geth shock troopers, who proceeded to wildly fire at his comrades. "Now, while they are distracted!" Shepard ordered, and the team rushed in.

Kaiden hit a geth juggernaut firing from a balcony above the entrance with a combination singularity a nd overload, sending the huge construct spinning wildly around the room. Using her own tech skills, Tali overloaded a power station and watched as the geth clustered nearby were electrocuted while Shepard riddled them with rounds from his assault rifle.

"Clear!" Tali called, looking around.

"Looks like all of them Commander." Kaiden said, nudging the fallen juggernaught with his foot.

Suddenly, a quarian began to sing from speakers in one of the geth terminals.

_O people, weep for thy children_

_O people, cry for the lost_

_O people, morn for thy homes_

_O people, thy garden is lost_

"What is that?" Shepard asked, looking at Tali.

"Shh, I'll tell you in a moment." She hushed.

_O children, lost and without a guide_

_Weep for thy parents that disown thee_

_The garden lays abandoned_

_Its caretaker has fled_

_The gardener has left her children_

_To play alone among her flowers_

"It's a lament, one I've never heard." Tali said, listening as the song continued.

_O people, why do you destroy your children_

_O children, why do you slay your parents_

_The garden is stained with blood_

_Blood of the gardeners, blood of the children_

_The garden waits for its maker's hand_

_As the children roam its streets, lost_

_O people, O children why are you lost_

Ice ran down Tali's spine as the song finished, and she checked her omni tool. "I… I recorded it." She affirmed to herself, the played it back as Kaiden and Shepard crowded around her.

"What's she singing about? She sounds sad." Kaiden remarked.

"As I said, it's a lament, but it's not one ever sung by an actual quarian that I know of." Tali said.

"What?" Shepard asked, confused, "But that's a quarian singing, I can tell."

"Yes." Tali nodded unhappily, "But she sounds old, ancient even. And she's not singing with a mask on, I can tell."

"I thought you almost never took your masks off." Kaiden said slowly, "Why would she be singing without one?"

"I think… I think this is from shortly after the Rebellions." Tali said carefully. "But the song she is singing, it sounds like it's about the geth and the quarians. I'll make a recording to bring back to the fleet. I don't think this would be a pilgrimage gift, but some of our scholars will definitely want to see this."

Shepard nodded. "It's a piece of lost history. I'm sure the times after the Rebellions were chaotic, lots of things were lost."

"Yes." Tali agreed, "But this is still disturbing. Why would the geth have this song if my own people do not?"

They spent the next few hours combing the compound with another team from the Normandy, carefully retrieving any data on the geth they could find.

"This is all classified people, top secret. Make only one copy to be transmitted to FleetCom." Shepard ordered. "We don't want the geth finding out just what we learned about their plans."

As the others cleared out once everything had been carefully gone over, Tali approached Shepard nervously.

"Shepard, I want to ask you something." She said hesitantly.

He smiled at her wearily, obviously tired after the days of hard fighting and travel. "Sure Tali, what's up?"

Tapping her fingers together, Tali gathered her thoughts. "I was wondering if you would consider allowing me to make a copy of the data on the geth you have found."

Shepard frowned, looking at Tali carefully. "Why do you want a copy of that data Tali? You know its classified Alliance intel, I can't just go handing it out."

Gathering her courage, Tali stammered, "Well, when we found that recording, I realized that the geth had changed since they rebelled. That data we gathered, it could help my people understand them, their weapons, tactics, maybe even whatever passes for culture among the geth. That sort of intel would help us reclaim our homeworld." She blushed, and managed to get out, "It would mean a great deal to me, and would even be something I could bring back to the fleet as my pilgrimage gift."

Shepard's features softened, and he placed a hand on Tali's shoulder. "I see. This must be important to you."

Blushing at the sensation of his touch and looking down, Tali gathered her thoughts. "Yes… Though I understand if you can't help me, I will just have to find something else to give to my people."

"Hey." Shepard tilted Tali's chin so that she was gazing up into his eyes through her mask. She was very glad he couldn't see her face, she was blushing furiously now, her lips trembling. Part of her hoped he wanted to hug her, and part of her wanted to pull away from the man who had let Ashley die.

"Tali, you have been a great ally in this. I won't ask you to turn your back on your people to stop Saren. I will make a copy of the files before I transmit them back to fleet and give them to you. I don't know what it must feel like to have your homeworld taken, and as your friend I will do whatever I can to help you get it back."

A wave of joy washed over Tali, and she trembled in relief. "Thank, Shepard." She whispered. "Keelah Se'Lai."

_Tali'Zorah: And that was how Shepard helped me complete my pilgrimage, and how I brought the Song of the Ancients back to our people. _

_Unna'Karis: Incredible that at the time the data on geth military formations was more important at the time._

_TZ: Yes, the song was the first words of the past we had listened to in a long time. The first words of regret we ever heard. And one that we too soon forgot. _


	11. Chapter 10: The Will to Carry On

_Unnah'Karis: To me, one of the most amazing things about the Reaper War was that so many continued on in the face of horrific losses._

_Tali'Zorah: We all went through a great deal during that war, it's true. The sacrifices we all made were high. _

Chapter 10: The Will to Carry On

Waiting anxiously by the airlock, Tali paced back and forth. What could she say? What could she do? She knew something what it was like to lose your mother, her own mother had passed away years ago, in a sickness that swept the fleet. But to do what Liara had done… She should have demanded Shepard take her into Noveria, but those power couplings had needed repairs, the Noverian leadership had been leery of having a quarian running around, and how could she have known what would happen?

The door finally opened, and Garrus and Shepard stepped onto the ship. Shooting them a dark glance, Tali shoved them aside and reached for Liara.

"I am so sorry Liara, I can't… I don't want to imagine what you're going through."

Liara smiled, her face wet with already shed tears. "It's OK Tali, I am at peace."

Tali glared over at Shepard, who was talking quietly with Dr. Chakwas, then looked back to Liara. "How can you say that, when _**he," **_She couldn't bring herself to say Shepard's name, "Made you murder your own mother?"

"Oh no Tali," Liara shook her head, "It was not like that at all. As I had told you before, Benezia was already dead, killed by Saren and his indoctrination long ago."

Studying Liara closely, Tali could tell she was lying. Quarian's body language was for the most part very overt since living in a suit made subtle gestures difficult. However as she had spent several months around Liara, Tali was able to read the signs. The slight tensing of her muscles, the way she looked away from Tali's eyes, and the way she held her body. Liara was grieving, devastated.

"Come on." Tali said, taking Liara's hand, "Let's go to your quarters for a bit."

Liara made sounds of protest, but willingly followed.

"Liara, I-" Shepard tried to say.

"Not now bosh'tet." Tali hissed, and Shepard stepped back, worry marked on his face.

'I shouldn't be so harsh to him', Tali thought, 'How could he have known Benezia would have to be killed?'

But another part of her said, 'He should have protected her. He should have protected me. He is the **captain**.'

Pushing her thoughts aside, Tali took Liara into her room and sat her down.

"It's OK Liara. You can cry. I know you're hurting." Tali said soothingly.

Still trying to keep a brave face up, Liara half-smiled. "Really Tali, I am at peace with this."

Tali sat down next to Liara, and waited patiently.

"I knew my mother was already dead, Indoctrinated by Saren. At the end, she broke free and told me… And told me…" Liara broke down, sobbing uncontrollably.

"Oh Goddess, Tali she told me she loved me! After I shot her, after I threw every biotic force at her I could, she said she loved me!"

While she hugged Liara and comforted her, Tali felt a pang in her own heart. Her father had never, ever told her he loved her. She felt badly for feeling jealous for her grieving friend, but her tangled emotions were something she felt like she needed to share.

"She told you she loved you because she did, Liara." Tali whispered, rocking her friend back and forth. "Even though the real her was dead, she reached out from beyond to give you words of comfort, to let you know she cared."

Liara looked up, blinking away fresh tears. "But, did she forgive me Tali? Do you think she forgave me for putting a bullet into her chest?"

Tali sat in silence for a moment. Forgiveness was still a hard concept for her. She thought of her own father, would he forgive something like this? For the good of the fleet, he would forgive anything, and Tali truly felt that what Liara had done her mother believed was for the good of the galaxy.

"Yes, Liara. I think that is what she was trying to tell you."

Still softly sobbing, Liara nodded and closed her eyes. "When she died, oh goddess when she died she said there was no light. Where is she now Tali? Is she just… gone?"

Bitting her lip, Tali wondered what to say. Her father had said nothing to her when her mother had died, just dove into his work harder than ever. Her auntie Raan though…

"When… When my mother died, I asked the same thing of my Aunt Raan." Tali said slowly.

"What did she say?" Liara said, a mixture of fear and hope on her face.

"She said that some believe we return to our ancestors and are reunited with their loved ones. I was a little girl then, and I believed her. I believed I would get to see my mother again." Tali knew that was a lame response. Now that she was an adult, she didn't believe in an afterlife. That was a bed time story for children.

Liara sat quietly for a moment, then said. "Shepard believes in a heaven."

Tali started, she was surprised Liara was even willing to bring up the commander. "Yes, and because of that he let Ashley die."

"No, I don't think that's why." Liara said, shaking her head. "I think the commander knew that Ashley wouldn't want him to save her at the expense of the lives of others. He does believe they will be reunited someday, but he didn't just leave her to die. Ashley asked him to save the others, and because he cared for her, respected her as a person."

Swallowing the lump in her own throat Tali managed "But what if she had asked him to save her?"

Liara looked Tali straight in the eye. "Tali, I asked Shepard to bring me. I knew that it was likely I would be forced to kill my mother. When we saw her, he tried to take killing shot himself. But I demanded that he allow me. And he let me. Ashley asked to die. Shepard cares for us, values enough as people to allow us to make our own decisions. And so when the women he loved asked to sacrifice herself to save others, he let her. This was not his fault Tali."

"But it is not your fault either!" Tali screamed, "It was not your fault that your mother died."

"No. It was Saren's fault. Saren killed Ashley, Saren killed my mother. We are in the pursuit of justice Tali, and no matter who falls, we will avenge them. I will have vengeance for my mother when Saren is brought to justice for his crimes." Liara declared, doing her best to wipe away her tears. "We cannot fail Tali, otherwise…"

"Hey, your mother did not die in vain. She told you valuable information before she died did she not?" Tali comforted.

Liara nodded. "Yes, she told us of the Mu relay and Ilos. Now we can stop Saren once and for all."

Hugging Liara, Tali whispered, "That's not what I meant. I meant she told you she loves you. Treasure your mothers last words Liara."

Liara nodded, and straightened up a bit. "Tali, I have to ask you, do you hate the commander?"

Taken aback, Tali quickly answered, "No!"

Liara waited a moment, staring at her. "Well, maybe. Yes? No? I don't know! Keelah, sometimes I want to throw myself in his arms and confess my love for him, like when he gave me that data on the geth for my pilgrimage, and at other times I want to slap him hard across the face and call him a monster like when he brought you back!"

Liara put a comforting arm around Tali's shoulders and leaned on her. "You still care about him then."

"Yes." Tali whispered, her eyes looking at nothing.

"I hope he notices then, even in his own grief. Once I thought I loved the commander, but that was just a childish infatuation combined with a fascination with the prothean visions in his mind. I respect him, but I don't love him Tali. And I think you do, the frustration seems to be part of love."

"Aren't I suppose to be comforting you?" Tali joked as she leaned back towards her friend.

"Well yes." Liara half laughed, half choked, "But I think working through our pain together is important. You love a man so lost in his own grief he doesn't even notice you, and I just lost my mother. Quite a pair, are we not?"

"Yeah. Just two messed up girls lost in space." Tali muttered.

Liara laughed and sat up. "You know I am over 100 years old don't you?"

Tali shoved the asari playfully. "Yes, and in my peoples years you would be younger than me, grandmother."

The two friends giggled together, and Liara said, "You know, you are one of the only aliens I have ever met who I felt was my age? Most of the others are far more experienced, but with the exception of Wrex, I am decades older then all of them. But you Tali… We are both still girls. Children to our people, and we fight the most dangerous man in the galaxy."

The two sat and talked for a few minutes, before Tali's omni-tool buzzed with a message.

_If you two are doing alright, we have a briefing in the main room. Otherwise, meet me in my quarters when you are ready. -Shepard_

"You feel up to going?" Tali asked.

Dabbing at her tear streaked face with a damp cloth, Liara nodded. "I suppose I cannot lie to you Tali, I will grieve for my mother for the rest of my life. But we have to keep going, because we still have hope. Because we still have a future. That is what she would have wanted me to do, is it not?"

"Yes, it is." Tali nodded, and the two headed over to the briefing room where the rest of the crew was gathered.

Shepard nodded to them, his face grim. "I've gone over the data with Pressley, and put a call in to the council. For the first time, we know where Saren is headed before he gets there. We have a chance to end this, permanently. The council is forming a fleet, and the Normandy is going to be at its head. This is the last chance for anyone who wants to bow out to do so. You have all put your life on the line more times than I can count, on a dozen worlds for a dozen noble causes. But this time it is different, we are going to be going in at the head of a fleet, and the fighting is going to be nasty. If anyone wants to stay at the citadel, I will be honored to have served with you."

Garrus raised his hand, and Shepard nodded at him. "Thank you for your service Garrus, I will make sure to have your things sent ashore.

"Actually the commander, I just wanted to know if you were done spewing vorcha dung or if you were ready to go kick Saren in the mandible." Garrus said gravely.

"Damn right Shepard, anyone that runs away is a coward! We have Saren on the run, who would back out now?" Wrex said, shaking his fist in excitement.

Tali and the others made noises of agreement, and Shepard bowed his head. "Thank you all. We will be at the citadel shortly. I am glad we're going to finish this together."

Looking around at his crew, Shepard gave them a crooked grin. "We've lost a lot of people in our search to stop Saren, and we will not forget them. Corporal Richard Jenkins. Fai Dan. Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams." Choking up as he said her name, Shepard paused for a moment, and the rest of the crew sat in silent contemplation.

Clearing his throat, Shepard continued. "Captain Kirrahe. Matriarch Benezia ."

Liara nodded gratefully, tears coming to her eyes.

"And those are just the names of the ones we knew personally. Countless hundreds have died in Saren's mad bid to bring back the Reapers. But it all ends now, when we take the Council Fleet to Ilos."

Carefully cleaning her shotgun, Tali inspected it one more time to make sure everything was completely ready. Garrus and Liara had gone with Shepard to inform the Council and prepare the fleet, and Tali wanted to be ready when they returned.

"I will do you proud, father." She said to herself.

Part of her wished she still had the recording he father had given her before her pilgrimage, she hadn't heard from him at all, and did not expect to. It was traditional not to have any contact with family on your Pilgrimage, but Tali doubted she would have heard from him anyway. It had been weeks since she had heard from him before she left, even the send off ceremony was presided over by her Auntie Raan instead of her father. However, even when she had the chance she hadn't listened to her father's recording, out of anger and frustration at his inattention.

"At least Liara got to hear her mother say 'I love you.'" Tali muttered to herself.

"Hey, you ain't goin' all sappy on me now are ya?" A deep rumble said from behind her.

She turned and smiled. Even on a human ship, light years from home, she had family here.

"No Uncle Wrex, just as sappy and silly as always." Tali said cheerily. "I was just thinking about my father."

Wrex grunted. "Huh. I haven't thought much about my father since I last saw him."

Shrugging, Tali remarked, "Well, I was thinking about how hard it was for Liara to have to kill her own mother, even if she was being controlled by the Reapers and Saren. I don't know if I could ever do anything like that."

Snorting, Wrex stated, "Wasn't that hard for me to kill my father when he betrayed me, and I know damn well no one was screwing with his brain."

Tali's mouth fell open in shock. "You… You did what?"

"Killed my father. He betrayed me at our most sacred site, and to sate the spirits of the fallen warriors in the Hallows I spilled his heart's blood on the ground." Wrex bluntly remarked.

Suddenly, Wrex's obsession with Hamlet and familiar betrayal was making a great deal of sense to Tali. "Wrex… I had no idea-" She began, but the old krogan cut her off.

"Tali, that was hundreds of years ago, back when your people were still on your homeworld. Its history so ancient, I nearly forgot about it myself until Shepard reminded me when he helped me get my family's armor back."

Wrex shook his head. "I was ready to give up on my people, but once this is over I'm going to knock some sense into their heads. Remind the krogan why they once feared the name Urdnot Wrex, and not let my father's mistakes become my own."

Despite herself, Tali started laughing. "Wow, does EVERYONE on this ship have daddy issues?"

"Waddaya mean? " Wrex asked.

"Well, Shepard's father is a drunk he never hears from, Liara never knew her own father, Ashley told me her father's death was traumatic for her, when you get Garrus drunk he goes on about how he never will live up to his father's reputation, my father is a famous Admiral who never bothered to tell his daughter he loved her, and of course, you killed your father." Tali ticked off the crew's problems on her fingers. "It's like someone with a horrible writing talent decided to use some sort of clichéd plot twist to bring us all together."

Wrex was silent for a moment. "Kaiden gets along with his parents I think. At least he never whines about them."

Throwing up her hands in mock exasperation, Tali sarcastically intoned, "Oh, well then excuse me. There goes my grand theory about Shepard only recruiting people with problematic fathers."

"Meh. Krogan usually don't make much about their fathers, mothers are much more important to us. It was that way even before the genophage, the women do all the raising." He gave Tali a disgusting leer. "The fathers just get to do all the fun bits."

That made her blush, and she sputtered, "I don't know what your- How could you even say something like that!"

Grinning like a shark, Wrex stated. "With my mouth."

Tali laughed despite herself. "You are too much Wrex."

Suddenly, Garrus bust out of the elevator. "Those thrice damned lunatics are going to let the entire galaxy burn! What the hell are they thinking! Maniacs! Imbeciles! A disgrace to turians everywhere!" He raged, stomping around the cargo bay like a turian possessed.

"Woah there kid, slow down. What the hell happened?" Wrex said, grabbing Garrus by the arm and bringing his triad to a halt.

"The council will not be going after Saren. They dismissed the claims about the Reapers. Said Shepard was obsessed."

"But what about our testimony!" Cried Tali, "We were there too! We saw Sovereign! It was an AI, I should know, I've studied them my entire life!"

"Yeah. And you're a quarian, and I'm a krogan." Wrex snarled, letting Garrus go to punch the bulkhead hard enough to leave a dent.

"What, but the council wouldn't…" Tali started, but she didn't finish.

"Oh, yes they would." Garrus snarled. "And spirits help me, if more innocents die because of this, the council will pay."

Calming down a bit, Wrex asked, "What about that salarian, Ganto? Surely the council will accept the testimony of a STG officer."

"An officer who happens to be undergoing therapy for post traumatic stress syndrome, and whose report is considered inadmissible due to the torture he endured." Garrus sounded hopeless now. "But it gets worse."

"What? How?" Tali asked. She couldn't imagine anything worse than Saren being allowed to bring the Reapers back while the council sat on their thumbs.

"We're grounded. Shepard has been deemed a threat to galactic peace."

"What." Tali felt her mind go blank.

Wrex laughed uproariously. "Oh, that's just too much, even for turians and salarians. The one person in the galaxy that can save their sorry asses, and they put him on ice."

Forcing herself back to her senses, Tali muttered to herself, "Oh no they don't those bosh'tet, shipless- Ooooh!" She fumed wordlessly.

"We have to do something!" She declared.

Garrus shrugged helplessly. "What can we do?"

"Something." Tali declared, and marched off to go up to the main deck.

"Tali, wait-" Garrus began, but Wrex stopped him.

"Let her go kid. She's got her to work this out on her own."

The long elevator ride up gave Tali time to calm herself and think for a few minutes. They needed a fleet, obviously, and she knew where to get one. It would be unorthodox, but with the information she and Shepard had she would likely be able to persuade the migrant fleet to aid them in defeating the geth. There was the small matter of actually GETTING to the migrant fleet, not to mention locating them. But it was a start.

She burst out of the elevator; ready to give Shepard the good news, only to find him slumped up against his locker on the floor.

"Hey, Tali." He said, not looking up. "I heard Garrus from up here. I guess you know."

Realizing now was probably not the best time for a pep talk, Tali carefully sat down next to Shepard. "Yeah."

"Then you know it's over. Finished. Kaput." Shepard drawled, still not looking over at Tali.

"I think we can still figure something out…" Tali began, but Shepard looked over at her, his eyes full of despair.

"How Tali? Tell me how? How can I make this right? How can I let Ash down, after she lay down her life? How?" His eyes were pleading, and the strength that once seemed to fill him was gone.

"I thought God would make a way. I thought He would give me the strength to finish this, but now this? Grounded, abandoned by the council, with Saren ready to activate the conduit and bring back the race of machines that wiped out the protheans 50000 years ago?" Shepard slumped back again. "God doesn't seem to give much of a damn. Guess Ash and I were wrong."

'Oh Keelah…' Tali thought, 'This is so bad, I don't even know where to start.'

"Was it only your faith that kept you going this long?" Tali asked, expecting Shepard to give her an answer about love, trust in his crew, or his own tenacity.

Instead tears began to run down Shepard's face. "Yeah. It was. If it was just me, if it was just my friends, I would have given up a long time ago. If I didn't think there was an all powerful being out there, guiding us, protecting us, one with a plan, I would have thrown in the towel a thousand times before now."

Headless of his tears, Shepard turned to Tali, a cruel grin on his face. "I bet the protheans thought God was looking out for them, right up until the Reapers slaughtered them all."

Before she realized it, Tali found herself wiping Shepard's tears from his face. "I don't know if there is a god, Shepard, and I don't think it matters. But what I do know is this: You are the bravest, strongest man I have ever met. You have led us through hell and back, and we are not giving up on you yet." Tali could feel herself choking up with emotion, her voice was becoming hoarse, "So don't give up on yourself now Shepard."

Taking Tali's hand, Shepard smiled wryly at her. "Thanks Tali, but what can we do? We need a miracle now. I don't see what we can do, barring divine intervention."

"We could contact the Migrant fleet, they could help us." She suggested hopefully.

"How Tali? No one knows for sure where the migrant fleet is at any given time, and we don't have time to get to them. We have to stop Saren now, or everything is lost." Shepard said hopelessly. "We might as well do what we can, before the Reapers show up and kill us all."

Tali cast about in her mind for what to do, but she was coming up with nothing. Perhaps if Shepard drowned his sorrows for a night, he would feel a bit better, but she didn't know how to ask him if he wanted to drink the night away. Suddenly, she remembered the conversation she had had with Liara weeks ago.

"What would Jesus do?" She burst out, then immediately regretted it. Shepard probably did feel like getting drunk, but that was a crass way to ask him if he wanted to.

Shepard's mouth fell open in shock, and Tali started to apologize for her foolishness, when she suddenly found herself in a big bear hug.

"Oof!" She panicked at first, then realize while it did feel like Shepard was trying to strangle her, he was actually hugging her in thanks. She relaxed, and returned the hug, deciding to enjoy it while it lasted.

"Thank you, thank you Tali." Shepard whispered in her audio processor. "Out of the mouth of an alien. Thank you."

"Your, welcome?" Tali said, wondering why Shepard was so happy that she suggested he get drunk. Maybe she had misinterpreted what Jesus would do though.

Shepard let her go, a smile still on his tear stained face. "Er, Shepard, what would Jesus do?" Tali asked nervously, hoping she was not going to start Shepard on a bender of epic proportions.

"He would pray Tali. Will you pray with me?" Shepard asked, holding out his hands for her to take.

"Um, of course!" Tali managed, taking Shepard's hands and wondering how human's prayed. Quarians, if and when they prayed, which was fairly unlikely, usually appealed specifically to an ancestor of a specific virtue that would be pertinent to their problem. How Shepard wanted her to pray though escaped her.

"Oh Lord, thank you for sending me Tali in this time of darkness." Shepard began, and Tali started, blushing furiously. Shepard was thanking his God for her? She felt herself getting excited, and she forced herself back to the task at hand. Shepard was not coming on to her, she was fairly certain.

"Forgive me, Father, for my lack of faith. " Wait, wasn't Shepard's father still alive? Why was he praying to an ancestor that was still alive? Why wasn't he praying to Jesus? Human religions made no sense.

"I thank you Lord that you have already made a way for me, and given me the strength to stop Saren and the Reapers. Guide us Father, that we might do your will. Amen."

As Shepard finished, the intercom buzzed. "Commander, call from Captain Anderson. He says he wants to meet with you in Flux, sounds like he might have a plan to bust us out of here." Joke said excitedly.

Tali felt her eyes bugging out of her head. "Um, does your god always move so fast?"

Shepard chuckled and stood up, then helped Tali to her feet. "No, but it's pretty damn nice when He does." He motioned for Tali to follow him. "Come on. Let's go see what the captain has planned for us."

Someone, somewhere, was laughing right now. Tali was sure of it. If anything was going to convince her that some sort of cosmic entity controlled everything, what she was going through right now proved it. Somehow she had accidentally restored Shepard's faith by offering to get drunk with him, more out of a desire to have a chance to get close to him than anything else, and now he was off on another mission, dragging her along, all hopes of romance forgotten.

"Next time I'm going to keep my bosh'tet mouth shut." She muttered to herself. It's not like Shepard could hear her over the noise of the club, and he was paying too much attention to Captain Anderson anyway.

"I think breaking into Udina's office might be our best bet Shepard, and I certainly wouldn't mind knocking that smug bastard out." Anderson was saying, "Get back to the Normandy, you won't have very long."

Hurriedly standing with the two humans, Tali wondered what had just happened, having been too far lost in her own pity party to really pay attention to what was happening. The men shook hands, and Tali followed Shepard out of the club.

"Damn, I guess I never should have doubted. Anderson is gonna get us off this station, and then Saren has hell to pay!" Shepard declared.

"Oh, that's great." Tali said lamely, realizing for the first time that after this mission, it would likely be time to part ways with Shepard. She really didn't want to have to leave, but she had to get back to the fleet with her data. She would find a way to stay in touch though. After all, Ashley had asked her to take care of him…

"It's more than great!" Shepard declared, to excited to notice Tali's tone. "This is the end of the war."

_Unna'Karis: You mean to tell me that the great Shepard actually came close to quitting? To just giving up, so early in the war?_

_Tali'Zorah: Yes, he did. He was not a god as some seem to remember him now. He was the best man to ever live, but he was only a man. _

_UK: Did he need a woman to pick him back up? _

_TZ: You might think that's a silly question, but it's not. He needed someone to love, someone to treasure, but most importantly, someone to fight for?_

_UK: After Ashley died, was that you?_

_TZ: Right then? No, it was still Ashley. _


	12. Chapter 11: Tomb World

_Unna'Karis: Stealing your own vessal, that must have been exiting._

_Tali'zorah: Oh it was, but at the time we were focused on one thing and one thing only: Stopping Saren. _

Chapter 12: Tomb World

"There it is." Liara breated, gazing intently at the image of Ilos on the screen. "I wonder, what secrets does its surface hold?"

"I would be more worried about the size of the geth fleet." Garrus remarked, highlighting the dozens of geth ships in orbit.

"Maybe it's a good thing we didn't bring a fleet. This would be a slaughter." Kaiden said.

"Think we can get close enough to find where Saren is?" Tali asked tentatively.

"That won't be hard, there's only one place on the surface with comm. chatter." Garrus said, pointing to the region on the map.

"I just wonder who Shepard's gonna take with him." Wrex grumbled.

Everyone looked around nervously. They knew each and every one of them had bleed and sweated just as much as the rest of them.

Kaiden cleared his throat. "Well, whoever it is, good luck."

Everyone nodded and muttered similar sentiments, and Tali felt a surge of panic. Would Shepard take her? Would she walk among the ruins of an ancient civilization? The migrant fleet had at times wondered if Ilos would be a suitable place to create a new homeworld, but from what she was seeing on the scanners that dream was now dead. Ilos no longer appeared to have a functioning biosphere, most animal life had obviously died off based on the oxygen readings, only plants seemed to grow there now.

All heads turned as Shepard marched in from the cock pit. "Alright, I know everyone wants to come, but because of space limitations in mako, I can only bring two of you."

Heads bobbed all around, they knew that already.

"So I am going to have to make the most logical choices on who to bring, because there is no way to get replacements."

That made sense to Tali, and she was fairly certain she knew of one asari in particular that was needed on the most vaunted prothean find of the past 1000 years.

"Liara, your on the ground team. Prothean ruins are your area of expertise, and your biotics are going to be essential in the battle against Saren."

A huge sigh of relief escaped from Liara, and she did her best to fight back a huge grin. "I will not fail you Shepard."

The others held their breath as Shepard looked them over. "Again, I want you all to know how much your service has meant to me, but I have to have a tech expert, there is no telling what we will find when we reach the Conduit. That means you, Tali."

Tali gasped in surprise, she was certain Garrus or Kaiden were going to be chosen over her, and to her surprise she found the others nodding.

"I hate to say it, but I'm glad you're taking them over me," Wrex rumbled, "That's a damn good team Shepard, go kick some ass."

Garrus spread his mandibles in a grin, "When you see Saren, shoot him in the face for me."

"Good luck Commander." Kaiden said, saluting Shepard.

"Thank you, Lieutenant." Shepard returned his salute crisply.

"No time for anything else, let's move people!" Shepard called, and they raced to the elevator.

"Thanks, Shepard, for choosing me." Tali said while they rode down.

"No, thank you Tali. Without your encouragement, I would have given up before Anderson called. And like I said, I only bring the best. You earned this."

A warm glow of pride filled Tali. It wasn't quite the same as having him say I love you, but having her captain's approval and belief in her gave her a strength and courage in her heart unlike anything she had felt before.

Before she knew it, they were crammed in the mako, counting down until drop time. Tali braced herself, Shepard had said it was a very narrow drop corridor, but she trusted Joker more than any pilot she had ever seen; he was almost as talented as he thought he was.

Fighting her instinct to clench them, she loosened her teeth right before impact, and true to his boast, Joker proved himself again to be the best pilot in Citadel space and scored a perfect landing.

"Move out people!" Shepard called.

Glancing around, Tali shivered. Eerie statues of sitting creatures that appeared to be vomiting tentacles lined the stone architecture. Vines and leafy plants covered everything, but no calls of creatures or buzz of insect life were to be heard. It was eerily, utterly silent, a dead world. The only sounds were the drip of water and the faint rustle of the wind, along with the squad's footfalls. Suddenly, Tali heard mechanical grinding, and she turned to see a door closing on a group of retreating geth.

"There he is!" Tali yelled, spotting Saren among the gethw. The team opened fire, but the door slammed shut before they could do anything about it.

"Think you can hack through this?" Shepard asked Tali.

"If we can find a control point, possibly. There isn't any access port here." Tali informed him.

"Commander, based on records of prothean architecture, I would guess the security post for this complex would be in this direction." Liara said.

"Makes sense, that's where I am picking up all the hostiles." Shepard nodded. "Alright, stay alert no telling what's behind the next door."

They hurried to a corridor, and found themselves staring at a massive geth construct. "PRIME!" Tali screamed, and threw a grenade while she dove out of the way of its massive machine gun.

Trying to hold it off, Liara tried to trap the large geth in a massive singularity, but the geth was to large. It sidestepped her biotic field and opened fire on the asari, who managed to duck under cover just as her biotic barrier faded.

"I'm going to try overloading its shields!" Tali called, and she popped to upload her program.

Unfortunately, the geth's own firewalls prevented the overload from completely draining its shields, and Tali only succeeded in a partial drain. She ducked back down as Shepard peppered the geth with fire from his assault rifle to draw its attention.

The geth's missile launcher spat fire and Shepard went flying back, his kenetic barriers drained. "Shepard! No!" Tali screamed, and she lunged forward, blasting away with her shotgun.

Her shots impacted uselessly on the primes barriers, and the geth knocked her aside, turning back toward Shepard, who was still struggling to his feet.

"Monster!" Screamed Liara, and she threw a massive biotic sphere at the geth, who's shields finially failed as the construct slammed into the corridor's wall.

Seeing an opportunity, Tali rose and jammed her shotgun into the face plate of the geth, shooting until her spent thermal clip ejected itself. The geth continued to spasm as it tried to rise again, and she quickly used another overload program to short out its actuators, finally felling the giant combat platform.

Panting as he ran up, Shepard asked, "You OK Tali?"

Fitting a new clip into her weapon, Tali nodded. "Yes, lets hurry."

As they rushed through the decaying ruins, Liara muttered, "I had always dreamed of finding Ilos. If only I could spend more time here, to unearth the secrets left by the protheans."

Glancing around, Tali shuddered. "This place feels like a tomb, like some sort of great evil happened here. Once my people thought they could settle here, but now that I see it in person I know that no sane quarian would ever want to spend much time here."

"How can you not see the majesty and grandure this place once held?" Liara asked.

"Focus up people. Though I'm with Tali. This place is off my vacation list." Shepard said. "There, up ahead. That looks like the security center."

"And its crawling with geth." Tali said, her scanner cutting through the geth's jamming. "I count at least three armatures, and multiple other platforms. Looks like a bunch of shock troopers and snipers."

"I'll take out the snipers. Liara, you focus on anything that gets close to us. Tali, I want you to try and disable the armatures." Shepard ordered.

They moved forward as quietly as they could, and Shepard managed to get off the first round, taking out one of the geth snipers in a single hit.

Immediately the rest of the geth opened fire, and Tali overcharged her shields while she attempted to hack a shock trooper behind the armature. She succeeded, and ordered the combat platform to fire its rocket at the nearest armature. The explosion drained the shields of the combat platform, and Tali shouted in jubilation. She used a sabotage program, crippling armature before it could bring its main cannon to bear on the squad.

But she had taken several hits during the maneuver, and her shields were nearly drained with the closest armature hit her with a blast of its own cannon. Tali was flung to the ground, and she could feel her system going into shock from a breach in her suit. It's self sealing systems quickly closed the breach but Tali started to hyperventilate as she went into anaphylactic shock.

She heard Shepard's voice through the fog, and felt a warm sensation as something was injected. In moments, her symptoms abated, and she returned to the sounds of battle.

"Tali!" Shepard yelled in her face, his features drawn in concern. "Can you hear me?"

"Yes Commander. I'm fine." She said weakly.

"Alright, I've given you medi-gel. Just hold on, you little maneuver gave us the edge we need." Shepard rushed away, firing his assult rifle, and Tali closed her eyes.

This was just one more little reminder of how insanely dangerous it was for quarians to head into battle. Every bullet was a possible bioweapon to a quarian, carrying unknown toxins that could rapidly cripple them. Even with self sealing battlesuits like Tali's, a quarian was still at risk. Scanning her own vital signs, Tali was relieved to see the medi-gel was doing its job and her suits medical systems had kicked in, stabilizing her vitals.

She still hurt as she sat up, and looked around, still dazed. Liara hurried over and scanned Tali with her omni-tool, then similed. "Looks like you will make a full recovery Tali. You had us worried there for a moment when you took the full impact of that armatures cannon."

"Are they geth dead?" Tali groaned.

Liara nodded. "Yes, after you destroyed that armature the shock trooper you had hacked when berserk, and I think it confused the rest of the geth's network. We managed to take down both of the armatures quickly enough and mop up the rest. Shepard is looking for the security hub now."

Tali nodded, saving her breath precious oxygen to be used for recovery. In a few moments, Shepard came jogging up. "I think I got the gate open. Can you move Tali?"

Gritting her teeth, Tali said "Yes, help me up."

With Shepard's assistance, Tali struggled to her feet. "Think you need another dose of medi-gel?" He asked worriedly.

Tali nodded, and soon the soothing warmth of the medigel flooded her body, and she felt her strength returning.

"Alright, I think I can move now." Tali said, experimentally flexing her legs.

"Then let's go." Shepard said, and the group jobbed back to the door. No more geth appeared along the way, and Tali was grateful. Even with the medi-gel, she still felt a bit under the weather. With a suit breach like that, she was liable to be feeling under the weather for days.

Sure enough, Shepard had opened the gate, and Tali climbed into the mako. Even with Shepard driving, riding was preferable to walking for a while.

"Let's take the tank into the scary underground bunker!" She quipped, and Liara nodded.

"I would prefer to face the geth with it's firepower." Liara agreed, and they set off into the subterranean prothean ruin.

Water coarsed along the path, and Tali wondered what the purpose of the bunker had been. Glancing around, she spotted what looked like stasis pods. "Liara, do those look like prothean stasis pods to you?" Tali asked.

Studying the pods from her turret mount, Liara nodded. "Yes, they do, but they look powered down. Sadly, I do not believe that whatever they held still lives."

Suddenly, a barrier field activated behind the speeding mako. "Look out!" Tali called, just as its twin activated in front of them.

"Ambush?" Shepard asked, quickly backing up.

Tali examined her screen, and shook her head. "No, look, a passage over there is opening up. But there are no geth or any other movement."

Shepard studied the opening on his screen for a moment, then nodded. "Let's check it out. Maybe some protheans survived."

"Highly unlikely Shepard." Liara commented. "Nothing I have seen on this planet indicates that any higher life forms still exist.

They climbed into the passage, and a door slid shut as they began to move downward. Rows and rows of stasis pods passed by the clear walls of the elevator.

"Look at all those stasis pods." Shepard commented, "Looks like there were enough to hide an entire civilization."

"Or restore one." Liara said, "Perhaps the protheans planned to sleep through the reaper invasion. "

The elevator stopped, and Tali stepped out. A green hologram of a static filled image appeared. It hissed and spat and Tali shook her head.

"Looks like some sort of VI program, but after all this time it is pretty badly damaged." Tali remarked.

"You are not prothean." The VI spoke, "This eventuality was accounted for."

Liara started. "How do you speak basic?"

"I have been monitoring your communications since you arrived, and have adjusted my audio processors to facilitate communication in a manner you would understand." The VI stood silent for a moment, then continued, "Scan complete. I do not sense the taint of Indoctrination on you, unlike the one who came through here earlier."

"Saren passed by here?" Shepard asked, "An organic with a group of synthetics, he's a servant of the Reapers. We could all be in danger."

"Yes, the one you call Saren did pass by here." The VI responded. "But you are safe here, for the moment. I am Vigil, and soon nowhere will be safe."

Tali felt dread creep into her heart. "The Reapers are returning?" She asked.

"Yes. The servants of the reapers and nearing the Conduit. It is was the final act of defiance of the Prothean people." Vigil replied.

"What exactly is the Conduit?" Shepard queried, "Is it a weapon?"

"No." Vigil responded. "This facility was created as a way for the Prothean people to survive the Reapers in stasis pods."

"But the pods are all shut down." Liara said, "They must not have survived."

"Indeed, most did not." Vigil said, his artificial voice carrying a note of sadness. "But a few did, our greatest scientists lived long enough to complete the Crucible project."

"If its not a weapon, why does Saren want to find it?" Tali wondered.

"It is a passage way to the Citadel." Vigil stated. "The Citadel in our cycle, as in yours, was the center of our civilization, the seat of our government. And it was also our downfall, as it will be yours."

"What? How?" Shepard demanded.

"It is a giant Mass Relay that links to dark space, where the Reaper fleet waits. Saren seeks to open that Mass Relay through the Conduit. At the end of the prothean cycle, we had nearly unlocked the secrets of the Mass Relays, and our scientists succeeded in replicating the technology on a small scale. But we were too late to save ourselves."

After an almost mournful silence, the VI continued. "But we ensured your cycle has a chance. The Conduit is a small mass relay that links to the citadel. Our scientists waited until after the Reapers departed, then went to the citadel. The keepers, the race of insect servants that maintain the citadel, were programmed to respond to a Reaper emmited signal and open the Citadel mass relay, allowing the Reaper fleet to flood into the galaxy. We disabled the keepers receptors, making it impossible for the Reapers to signal them to open the citadel."

"Then there must be a manual way to do it, and that is what Saren needs the conduit for!" Tali gasped.

"There is." Vigil affirmed. "Soon Saren will reach the conduit. You must stop him, and stop the Reaper he serves from opening the mass relay. Do not make the prothean's sacrifice in vain." With that, Vigil flickered and died.

"Sounds like that was the last of his power." Tali remarked, "He waited thousands of years to pass on his warning, to try and save us."

"Let's not make it in vain then. Come on." Shepard ordered, and they hurried back out to the mako.

When they got to the mako, Shepard radioed the Normandy. "Joker, get to Arcturus Station ASAP. Have Admiral Hackett mobilize the fleet to the citadel. The geth are and Sovereign are headed there. Warn the council, have them put security on alert. Saren is headed there with a strike team, there's no time to explain how."

"Aye aye Commander." A startled Joker responded.

"Move Joker, there isn't much time."

Tali climbed in, and the mako took off at top speed. "Geth up ahead!" She called.

"No time, fire a few shots to keep there heads down, but were not stopping until we hit the conduit." Shepard ordered, "Tali, try and keep our shields up as best you can."

"Yes commander, I can route some of the power for weapons to the shields."

They barreled past a Colossus with a drone wing hovering after them in pursuit, machine gun fire fizzleing off the shields. Shepard jinked the mako to avoid the colossus's cannon blast and the rockets from the drones, but armatures and troopers behind kenetic barriers waited ahead. Liara blasted a few of the troopers away, but the armatures stepped right in the makos path.

Tali braced for impact, but at the last second Shepard ignighted the booster rockets and the mako flew right over the geth platforms, who didn't manage to turn until the mako was out of range.

"There, up ahead!" Liara called, and Tali looked at the view screen to see a giant pillar of light extending into the sky.

"That must be the conduit." She said, then gasped.

"Oh goddess," Moaned Liara, "There must be half a dozen colossus's out there and over a dozen armatures."

"Tali, reroute all power to the engines, that thing is closing off!" Shepard ordered, and Tali's fingers flew across her consol, despretly trying for maximum speed.

Cannon shots and machine gun fire impacted the mako, and the shields failed. Just as they were about to hit the conduit, another blast stuck the back of the make, breaching the armor. The shot tumbled the mako end over end, and Tali was certain they were doomed as she tumbled about the compartment. Then there was a jolt as Shepard ignited the thrusters, and the mako scooted the last few meters into the beam, and everything turned to white.

Tali started back to life as the mako crashed into the presidium on the citadel, and scrambled out of the now destroyed vehicle.

"Everyone all right?" Shepard called, and Tali and Liara nodded.

"Then let's move."

Looking around at the once beautiful presidium, Tali felt a wave of sadness wash over her. The once green habitat was burning, bodies of geth and civilians were everywhere, and red lights flashed. They had been too late again, but this time, Saren would not escape.

They hurried on to the elevator to the council chambers, but before they had gone far the elevator stopped.

"Looks like Saren doesn't want company." Tali remarked.

"To bad." Shepard said through clenched teeth. "Suit up. Were going for a walk."

Shepard sealed his helment and Liara put on her breather, and Tali set charges on the elevator glass.

In a puff of air, the glass shattered, and the eerie silence of space replaced the noise of the elevator.

Tali turned to see a squad of krogan silently charging and firing, rounds streaking by. Tali felt her boots lock onto the metal of the deck, and she turned, aiming explosions at the krogan's feet. Combined with Liara's biotics, the krogan were sent spinning off into the interior of the citadel.

She smiled and turned to Shepard, radioing "Fight smarter, not harder I always say."

He nodded. "Good plan, but try to keep your feet on the ground. I don't want to have to fly after you."

They made there way up the causeway, pausing to blast geth and krogan into space. Tali almost felt sorry for them, between Liara's biotics and her and Shepard's explosions, it was to easy to knock them flying.

"This is almost too easy." She said, after sending a geth juggernaut careening off into space.

Shepard groaned. "Oh, don't say that."

"Why not?" Tali asked.

"Because Tali," Shepard explained as they climbed up a ramp. "When you say 'this is to easy,'

A rocket exploded near her, and Tali rolled to crouch behind an outcropping.

"-Invariably, someone decides to make our life harder." Shepard finished.

Tali winced, and looked over the outcropping, where a geth trooper ship was dropping loads of shock troopers. She looked around, and saw several inactive citadel defense turrets.

"Cover me!" She called to Shepard, "I'm going to try hacking those turrets."

As Liara and Shepard provided her with covering fire, Tali raced to the nearest turret and activated its auto targeting systems, which quickly acquired the geth ship. The turret turned, and began firing. But the ships shields simply absorbed the impacts, and geth continued to poor out. Bitting her lip, Tali realized they would be overwhelmed long before the turret did enough damage to force the geth to retreat.

"I'm going to have to activate another one!" Tali shouted, and sprinted for the next turret. Rounds pinged off her shields, and Tali felt them fail just as she reached the next turret. She quickly ran the same programs on it, and the turret turned to face the geth ship. Rounds from both the turrets struck the ship, and its shields flickered and failed, but it held its ground, still disgorging troops. But moments later the turrets fired again, and this time the hull was breached. The geth drop ships engines whined as it tried to escape, but another salvo slammed into it, and the ship fell, crushing most of the geth beneath it.

Tali picked off the remaining geth with her pistol and tech skills, then turned to Shepard. "Well, I guess I won't say that again."

He laughed over the comm. "We handled that well enough. Come on, were almost to the council chambers."

The last passage held a group of krogan hold outs, but the confines of the passageway combined with the lack of gravity turned Liara's biotics into a lethal storm. The krogan had a biotic of their own, but Tali managed to shut down his implants long enough for him to be sent flying by a few well timed grenades.

Rushing up the citadel causeway, Tali barely paused as she sniped down geth with her pistol. Up ahead, Saren worked at a consol, brining the return of the reapers ever closer.

"Saren, it's over." Shepard yelled.

Turning to casually fire a gravity blast, Saren dryly remarked, "Ah, Shepard. Glad you could make it. I was worried you would miss the grand finale."

"You're mad Saren!" Shepard called from cover. "You've been Indoctrinated! Fight it! Stop the reapers, don't condemn the galaxy to extermination again."

Saren chuckled. "You questioned my resolve on Virmire Shepard, and for a while I admit I was confused. But Sovereign sensed my confusion, and gave me implants. He strengthened my resolve. Now nothing can turn me from my path. I will herald the return of the reapers."

Shepard shook his head. "Listen to yourself! Sovereign sensed you were close to realizing you were serving a monster, and used the implants to control you! You were once a hero of the council Saren, don't condemn the people you once served so faithfully to death! Stop this!"

Saren hesitated, his mandibles twitching in confusion.

Tali carefully sighted her pistol, and quietly murmured "I have a shot."

"As do I." Liara said.

"Fire." Shepard ordered, and three mass accelerators barked together, impacting into the rogue specters skull.

"Argh!" Saren roared, and tried to rally, but his hesitation had cost him his shields, and the squad poored fire, biotics and tech abilities onto the rogue SPECTRE, and Saren fell, crashing through the glass plating he hovered above into the garden below.

"Make sure he's dead. " Shepard ordered, and Tali and Liara jumped down. Tali took careful aim with her shot gun, and fired into Saren's skull with a sickening squelch.

"That was for Garrus, Bosh'tet." Tali said. She fired again. "And that was for Ashley. Suffocate in a hull breach."

"He's dead." Liara radioed.

Tali looked at her tactical display, and the situation was grim. The citadel fleet was in full, ragged retreat. Sovereign was inside the citadels now closed arms, and the geth fleet was mopping up the remains of the once mightiest fleet in the galaxy.

"This is the Destiney Ascention! We the council aboard! Our barriers are at 12%, we need assistance or we will be destroyed!" An asari voice came over the comm..

Suddenly, out of the Serpent Nebula came the Alliance fleet. "This is Admiral Hackett of the systems Alliance. What's the situation Commander Shepard?"

Without hesitation, Shepard ordered, "Save the council, they are on the _Destiny Ascension_. I will open the arms for you Admiral, then you have to take out that Reaper Dreadnaught or a whole fleet of those damn things is going to come poring out."

"Wouldn't it be wiser to save the ships you will surely lose saving the council to destroy Sovereign?" Tali asked. The council had backstabbed and betrayed the _Normandy's_ crew at every opportunity, and she felt no compassion for the people who had ignored both Saren and her people for so long.

"Without the Council we have no one to unify the galaxy." Shepard explained, "We've only delayed the reapers. We're still going to have to fight them."

Reluctantly, Tali nodded. It made sense, and despite her hatred of the council they were still the beings in the best position to rally the galaxy to defend itself.

"This is Admiral Hackett. All ships, engage! Save the Council."

Tali flinched as dots representing human ships began to wink out, their crews lost as they interposed themselves between the geth fleet and the crippled _Destiny Ascension_. She glanced over at Shepard, but the SPECTRE was focused on his task, fingers flying as he worked to open the station's arms again. With a groan and a shudder, the arms began to move.

**NO. THIS IS NOT OVER.**

Sovereigns voice echoed in Tali's skull, and Shepard lost his balance and fell to the ground. Suddenly, Saren's corpse glowed, and his flesh melted from his body, revealing extensive cybernetics.

"I thought you said he was dead!" Shepard roared, scrambling to his feet.

"He will be soon." Tali said grimly, as she pumped three rounds into the rising cyborg quickly. She swore as the thermal clip ejected itself. "Bosh'tet, I'm down to my last two clips Shepard!"

"Make them count!" Shepard said, firing the last rounds from his own assult rifle before rushing forward to grapple with the now robotic Saren.

Casually flinging the human aside, the robot emitted a deep, piercing sound.

**I AM SOVEREIGN. YOU ARE NOTHING. **

"No! Shepard!" Tali screamed, and headless of the danger rushed forward, unleashing every program she had at Saren.

Saren's firewalls rebuffed most of her commands, but she got him slowed long enough to get close enough to fire her shot gun right into his central processor.

Screaming in rage, the robot turian batted Tali aside, and charged up some sort of beam weapon in its eyes. Just as it fired, Liara knocked it's aim off with a biotic throw. Confused and dazed, the construct staggered back.

"Just die already!" Shepard roared, getting up and walking toward the reaper construct, emptying his pistols clip into it point black.

The thing's shields failed, and Shepard jammed a grenade into its chest then jumped back. The explosion finally ended it, and the robot crumpled, then melted into a puddle of burning metal liquid.

"Woah!" Tali said, eyes bugging out. "Now that's a self destruct system!"

"The arms are open, all ships, concentrate fire on Sovereign!" Shepard ordered, and the Alliance Fleet swept into the citadel.

"Are they in time?" Liara asked breathlessly.

"I hope so." Tali said, and she stepped forward to Shepard, grabbing his hand. He turned to her, startled. "Thanks, Shepard." She said quietly.

"I just wanted you to know, in case we die here, that I-" She began, but Shepard hushed her.

"It doesn't end here Tali. We made it." He squeezed her hand, and Tali turned back in time to see the Normandy fire its guns at a weakened Sovereign, dealing the killing blow.

"It's over." She breathed. "We did it."

_Unna'Karis: Looking back, it's pretty easy to see thing were not over just yet._

_Tali'Zorah: In a way they were. It was not the end, but it was the end of the beginning. _

_Authors note: And that wraps up the events of Mass Effect 1. After this, I will be taking a short break while I finish up the interm chapters and start on Mass Effect 2. I will post a new chapter on Tuesday, August 28__th__. Until then, thanks for reading! _


	13. Interim

_Interim_

Tali paused, yawning. The daylight no longer streamed into her window, and dusk was settleing over Ranoch. Unna'karis switched off her Omni-too, she had decided the end of the Battle of the Citadel was a good place as any to end the day.

"Thank you, Lady Tali. It's interesting to hear about the early days of the Reaper War from one of its greatest heroines." Unna'Karis gushed, still filled with youthful energy even after the long day.

Smiling warmly, Tali nodded. "It was good to have you come. I treasure the visitors I receive. Having my house out here on this cliff is beautiful, and I remember building it with my own hands. But being distant from others has its price."

Slightly frowning, Unna'Karis asked, "What about your family, don't they ever visit?"

Tali laughed. "Of course they do, but I am an old woman, I need something to complain about!" She smiled. "In fact, if you come by tomorrow, one of my old friends will be here, he's traveled all this way to meet his niece and show off his latest batch of hatchlings."

"You mean Overlord Urdnot Wrex is coming here?" Unna'Karis gasped.

"Indeed." Tali nodded. "Though just call him Urdnot Wrex now, he is no longer Overlord, he gave that position up last year."

"Of course ma'am, if you don't mind me interrupting your reunion." Unna replied.

Tali grinned and shook her head. "Oh no, if anything I should warn you. Wrex loves to tell stories even more that I do! He'll talk your ear off at the drop of a hat." She looked away, her eyes distance as a wry smile played across her face. "After all these years, we're finally the same age. When we met, I was just a girl and he was already an old man, but he's still an old man and I'm an old woman now."

"The long lived races go through life differently do." Unna agreed. "I sometimes wonder what it would be like to be with an asari. They live for so long…"

Tali shrugged. "We live our lives, enjoy the time we have, then pass on to the ancestors. The time we have is measured not by years, but by what we do."

Unna quickly recorded Tali's words and smiled. "That's an excellent quote Lady Tali, thank you. I will see you tomorrow."

She gave a quarian gesture of respect, and left Tali's dwelling. Sighing, Tali got up and began making herself something to eat. Unna had cooked them both lunch and it had been delicious, but Tali still enjoyed having her own kitchen and cooking her own food, especially after years on the migrant fleet where fresh ingredients were impossible to come by. Besides, tinkering with a recipe was not all that different then tinkering with a machine. An adjustment here, a steady hand there, and a meal was a delicious thing. These days she cooked only for one though.

After her meal, she went back to her chair and looked through the various dispatches she had received over the course of the day. Despite being long retired from the Admiralty and the fact Rannoch was now a Constitutional Monarchy, she was still a valued advisor for the leadership of the planet. At one point she had been offered various political positions, but she had only accepted the position of "First Knight Lady of the Garden and Protector of the People," in recognition of her great service during the Reaper War. Some of the messages were from citizens as well, asking the First Knight Lady's blessing or simply expressing their thanks to her, and to her name Vas Normandy.

After sending a personal picture of herself to half a dozen Early Learner classrooms that had cutely requested them in the sloppy handwriting of four and five years, she rose and streached. Her joints moaned as they always did, and she walked to her own personal medical diagnostic program. It hummed quietly as she stepped in its field, then gave her a mostly clean bill of health. She nodded and retired to her bedroom, kneeling at her ancestor shrine. On it stood many pictures, and tonight Tali picked up one worn smooth by years of handleing. Her father's suited image looked out at her, and Tali carefully rubbed it.

"O God, O ancestors, hear your daughters plea. Guard my father's rest, and forgive him his crimes. May he look down upon me, his daughter with pride, and welcome me into your embrace upon the day I die." She burned a small stick of incense and said the Nine Prayers of Remembrance over Ashley William's picture. Though Ashley was not specifically one of her own ancestors, she had served aboard her ship, and died in its defense. To the quarians, that made her a guardian spirit that used prayers to ward and guard her ship and crew.

Her religious duties done for the night, Tali retired to her bed alone. She was used to being alone on her bed now, though she still missed the warmth of her mate. Sleep took her, and she dreamed of the past.

The next day Tali put on her suit and waited for Wrex to arrive. Krogan were notorious germ carriers, their carnivorous feeding habits and own robust immune system meant that they were able to ignore and carry diseases that would cripple a quarian of Tali's generation. She waited out on her porch, watching the sunrise as she heard the ground car pull up.

"AUNTIE!" A course of high pitched voices called, and the rumble of a horde of tiny feet echoed across the deck.

Tali remained seated, she had learned years ago that an auntie standing with her arms out in greeting looked like an auntie challenging her nieces and nephews to tackle her to a krogan. A trio of krogan ranging from six to only two summers rounded the corner.

"What is this group of bosh'tet children doing on my porch?" Tali asked in mock anger.

"We are the children of Wrex!" They shouted in greeting, and the smallest, a girl toddled forward and bellowed, "Where our presents!"

Smiling, Tali brought out the several toys she had been hiding. The youngest got a small book which told the story of a princess who defeated an evil AI, the middle child, a boy, got a miniature foam dart launcher, and the oldest, another girl, got her aunties book of lavo-recipies. The children all shouted their thanks and ran off to play among the rocks and trees, their duty to their auntie done.

Two old krogan ambled up the steps, both obviously wearied by the long journey and the children that had come with them. Tali stood and embraced both of them.

"Uncle Wrex, Auntie Bakara, it is good to see you both again."

Gently embracing their Niece, Bakara said warmly, "It is good to see you again Tali. How have you been?"

"Well Baraka, I had Zaal's daughter over yesterday to interview me. She's coming over for dinner, she was excited to be able to talk with your husband."

"What? A reporter? I don't need another one of those skulking around asking questions." Wrex rumbled, though his eyes gleamed. He might complain, be he loved to talk to reporters, though most would call it "brow-beat" as Wrex had a very specific vision of what he wanted reported in mind.

Tutting softly Baraka gave her husband a look. "You be nice to her. Zaal was a good man, and his daughter seems like a nice girl."

Wilting under his wifes glare, Wrex grumbled, "Oh, all right."

"So, how was the play?" Tali asked, changing the subject before she started laughing at the sight of the great Urdnot Wrex cowering before his formidable wife.

Tali had heard from the eldest, Moridin, that once Wrex had tried to wrestle Baraka into submission, only to find himself pinned to a wall with no mating rights for a week. After that, their relationship seemed to have been mostly smooth sailing with only the occational affectionate full body slam or headbutt during an argument, but Baraka clearly was not one to be pushed around, and Wrex was far too soft hearted for his own good.

This time it was Bakara's eyes that gleamed. "Oh, Mordin's play is fantastic! She had really captured the quirkiness and brilliance of her name sake in _The Very Model of a Scientist Salarian. _The man they have playing the lead, Tregor Solis, is one of Mordin's great grand nephews. He has the family features alright, the constant talking and brilliant mind and cutting sense of humor."

"It still wasn't as good as her production of_ Hamlet_." Wrex grumbled, though his face showed his obvious pride in his daughter.

"That's because you think her rendition of _Hamlet_ with an all krogan cast is the best thing to happen to the galaxy since Shepard." Bakara joked, then stopped and turned to Tali apologetically.

Tali smiled and held up an arm in a soothing gesture. "It's alright Bakara, it's been years. He's laughing now I think."

The three stood quietly, morning the long dead savior. But the three old friends couldn't stay mournful for long with the sound of happy, playing children in the background.

"Any of yours coming over today?" Wrex asked hopefully, nodding toward the children.

Tali shook her head in reply. "Sadly no. Everyone is off world at the moment, though they all send their greetings."

Wrex shrugged. "To bad. Leaves more food for me though."

They talked and laughed, playing with the children and reminiscing about old times until Unna'Karis arrived. The young quarian wore a suit as well, when interacting with non-native species, most quarians still wore them as a precaution. She barely had time to great everyone before Wrex cornered her and began regaling her with stories of himself and his time with his niece. Unna didn't seem to mind, in fact she seemed to be in awe of the great battlemaster.

After a few hours, the others left for the hotel they would spend the night at before leaving for Tauchanka in the morning, and Unna and Tali were left alone.

"Would you like to spend the night?" Tali offered. "I know you want to continue my interview in the morning, and I can cook you breakfast."

"Oh, that would be a great honor Lady Tali!" Unna said, smiling broadly.

Tali laughed. "Oh come now, you can't tell me it's that much of an honor. You and Ashley spent quite a few nights here before she went to the academy herself."

Unna smiled, remembering the nights she had spent with Tali's older daughter, now a Lieutenant in the quarian navy. "True Lady Tali, but then I did not realize just how special those times were."

Tali laughed, despite their history, Unna had always insisted on calling her Lady Tali, probably at Zaal's insistence. Something about her saving Unna's father life before.

The next morning they began just as the sun was rising.

"So, after the Battle of the Citadel, you returned to the migrant fleet and were reunited with your father, correct?" Unna asked, turning on her omni-tool.

Tali nodded, her mind going back to the distant past. "Yes, but first I had to say goodbye to my shipmates, and that was no easy task."


	14. Chapter 12: Pilgrim's End

Chapter 12: Pilgrim's End

_Unna'Karis: Leaving the Normandy's crew must have been difficult the first time. _

_Tali'Zorah: It was, I had no way of knowing what would happen next, and I thought I was saying goodbye to the man I loved forever. _

_Unna'Karis I'm sure that you were excited in some ways though._

_Tali'Zorah: Of course. It was the next part of my life. _

Tali paced around the room where she and Liara were staying on the citadel. Since the destruction of Sovereign, things had been rather hectic. Humanity had received a seat on the citadel council, and Captain Andersen was now Councilor Andersen. Tali did not know the dark skinned human well, but he seemed like an honest, honorable man. Humanity would do well for itself.

After a brief scare that debris had killed Shepard, things had gone surprisingly well, though Shepard seemed to have forgotten about Tali's almost confession in the Council chambers. That was what was irking Tali. With Saren gone, everything was in a rush, and she had hardly had time to see Shepard since. The worst part was, with Saren gone, she had to return to the migrant fleet. The data she had on the geth was invaluable, and despite herself, she wanted to see her father again. She missed him, even if he was cold and dispassionate most of the time.

Right now though, she was waiting on Shepard. She wanted one last chance to tell Shepard how she felt, before she had to leave.

The doors slid open to admit Shepard, who strode over to smile at Tali.

"Tali, I heard you will be leaving us." Shepard said pleasently.

"Yes, it's time I got back to the migrant fleet." Tali confirmed.

Nodding, Shepard smiled. "I am sure you miss your people, and your father."

Blushing, Tali looked down and mumbled "Shepard… I… I wanted to…"

Tali felt Shepard's hand on her shoulder and looked up to see his smiling face. "Hey, before you go, I've got something I want to show you."

Tali felt her heart in her throat. Did he know? Did he feel the same way? She had to know, had to find out for sure, she was having a hard enough time confessing her own feelings.

"Um, OK Shepard." She agreed.

She followed him to the elevator, and waited nervously as the lift took them to the presidium. It was one of the few still functioning, most of the others had been damaged by chunks of Sovereign like the one that had nearly killed Shepard. She stood silently by the commander, trying to get a read on him. He seemed tire, worn out, but maybe a little happy. They had just won a major victory, and that could be why. Or was he seeking her attention? People turned to one another in times of celebration and sorrow…

Tali liked her lips and started to say something, but the elevator stopped and Shepard led her out into the ruins of the Presidium. The scorched place by the miniature mass relay where the mako had landed made Tali smile, it had been one hell of an entrance. Near the scorching, twin columns of black stone had been erected, and workers were busy chiseling away at them.

"Over here." Shepard said, and led Tali over to the construction.

The workers recognized Shepard, and several of them called to him, thanking him or praising his actions. He waved back and smiled, but then his face took on a more contemplative expression as he pointed to the columns.

It was a list of names, and as Tali read her way upward, she didn't recognize any of them, until she came to two near the top.

Captain Olev Kirrahe

Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams

"It's a memorial, commissioned by the Council for all those that died fighting Saren. The names of the crews of the Shea, Emden, Jakarta, Cairo, Seoul, Cape Town, Warsaw and Madrid are on here, but I think it's the name at the top that would mean the most to you. I just wanted you to see, so that you would know the Council hasn't completely forgotten us." Shepard said, his eyes distant.

As he spoke, Tali realized that he was still grieving, still morning Ashley Williams. It had only been a few weeks after all.

"Bosh'tet, of course he is. He did love her, even if he did leave her to die." Tali muttered to herself, mentally kicking herself; leaving Ashley to die had not been Shepard's choice. He had decided to allow her to sacrifice herself to save Kaiden and the Salarians. She had died well, protecting her shipmates, and Shepard had made an impossible choice. The right choice, she hoped.

Of course, what that really meant to her was that now was the worst possible time to tell Shepard how she felt, and Tali bit back her words, instead saying, "Thanks, Shepard. I'm glad they are honoring Ashley."

The words sounded hollow to her, but Shepard turned toward her and smiled, his eyes glassy. He nodded, and they stood there together for a few more minutes before leaving.

"Well, I guess this is good bye." Kaiden said, shaking Tali's hand.

"Hard to believe it's all over." Garrus mused. He was staying behind on the Citadel for now, helping with repairs and security. He had talked about rejoining C-Sec, but his heart didn't seem to be in it.

Liara gave Tali a hug, her eyes wet with tears. "I will miss you. Send me a message sometime, alright?"

Liara had opted to stay aboard Shepard's ship a bit longer, with her mother dead and her dig site destroyed, she had nowhere to go.

"Of course." Tali said, her own voice thick with emotion. "None of you be strangers, OK?"

"Hmph. I think I'll be a bit too busy busting head on Tauchanka for weepy extranet messages." Wrex grumbled. "Hell, I don't think I-" I stopped as Tali embraced him, squeezing the old warrior tightly.

"I'm going to miss you, Uncle Wrex." Tali said softly. She felt Wrex's arms pat her back gently. "And I will miss you too, little Tali, my niece." They separated, and Wrex coughed slightly. "Keep your guns close, and don't slack off. You never know when those combat drills will be useful."

"Thanks, but I don't think anyone's going to ambush me on the migrant fleet." Tali said wryly.

"Hmph. Watch your back anyway." Wrex said, his voice filled with unbelief. Tali was sure he couldn't imagine a community that wasn't based around killing your family members, but she hoped one day that would change for him.

She turned last to Shepard, and to her surprise he embraced her. "You take care Tali. I hope your pilgrimage gift is accepted by your new captain."

"You will always be my captain, Shepard." Tali choked out, her voice thick with emotion, hugging Shepard tightly.

They separated, and he looked down into her eyes. Tali screamed inside, infuriated at the mask coming between them. It was a curse, a blessing, a barrier. Why did it always have to be there? "Good luck Tali."

A chime sounded, the last boarding call for passengers on her transport. Grabbing her meager belongings, Tali waved good by one last time as she stepped aboard, and the door hissed shut.

She sighed, and moved toward the passenger compartment. Shepard had upgraded her ticket to first class for her, so her trip to the system the migrant fleet was in would be a comfortable few hours. She located her seat and sat down, staring out the viewport at the citadel as the ship prepared to leave. She spotted Liara and waved, smiling at the small blue figure.

"Annoyed: What are you doing in this seat." A booming voice said behind her, and Tali turned to see an elcor flight attendant staring at her.

"This is my seat. It was reserved for me by Commander Shepard." Tali declared, waving her ticket under the elcor's nose.

Glancing at the ticket briefly, the elcor replied, "Sarcastic: A likely story. Irritated: Get back to steerage where you belong."

Tali felt herself growing angry. "I am Tali'Zorah nar Rayya. I was one of Commander Shepard's squad that took down Saren. This is my seat."

Another passenger, a turian businessman in a fine suit, approached and wrinkled his nose. "What's a suit rat like her doing next to my seat? Steward, remove her!"

"This. Is. My. Seat." Tali said through gritted teeth, flashing her ticket again. "I have my ticket, right here."

"With growing anger: You probably stole that ticket. Firm directive: Move back to steerage, now, or I will remove you." The elcor said, taking a menacing step closer.

Reaching back for her gun, Tali swore as she remembered she had been required to stow it with her luggage. "Where is this ships captain! I demand to speak with her! You have no right to make me move!" Tali raged.

"With grim determination: There are no quarians allowed here. Rude reminder: The sign is right behind me." The elcor didn't change his tone, but he seemed to be gloating.

"Can't you read basic, space trash?" The turian businessman goaded.

Tali glanced behind the steward, and sure enough, a sign said "No Quarians or Krogan Allowed."

For a moment, Tali was ready to take them, gun or no gun. She had fought tooth and nail for them, lost one of her shipmates, and sacrificed more then they could ever know. But as she looked around, none of the faces she saw showed support. Some looked away, as if they wanted to help her but were to embarrassed. Others frowned at her, obviously irritated, but most just ignored the scene. It wasn't like it was their problem.

For a moment, Tali hated all of them, wanted to stand, to scream to shout, to remind them all what they owed her. She saved their lives, their families lives, their friends lives and it had cost her dearly.

"I Forgive You." The words struck Tali almost like a physical blow, echoed in her mind as Sovereigns had. But they were the words of Shepard. His message of love, of peace.

She took a deep breath. "I am Tali'Zorah nar Rayya. This ticket was purchased, in my name, for first class. If their is a customs officer or supervisor, I would speak to them to explain the situation."

"With irritation: No, you will not-" The elcor began, but another voice interrupted.

"What seems to be the problem here?" A gruff human voice demanded, as a C-Sec officer made his way over.

"Courteously: This quarian refuses to move to steerage as is proper." The elcor explained.

The officer turned to Tali. "Oh? Is that so?"

Tali felt hope beat within her heart. Humans hadn't been on the galactic scene very long, and most of the ones she had met hadn't been terribly specifically toward quarians, though there were plenty of xenophobes, at least they seemed to be fairly unilateral or hate turians in particular.

"Officer, as I was trying to explain to the steward, my ticket was purchased for me by Commander Shepard. It clearly states that it is a first class seat."

The officer examined Tali's ticket, and turned to the steward. "Look, the ladies ticket is for first class. What's the problem?"

"Helpfully: It is our companies policy that quarians and krogan not be allowed to ride in first class. As you can see from this sign, we clearly post our policies." Tali couldn't help but feel the elcor sounded a bit smug.

The officer turned to look at the name plate, then shrugged and turned back to Tali. "Sorry lady, can't do anything about their policy."

He then turned to the elcor. "See that her ticket is refunded equal to the cost difference between first class and steerage."

Now Tali couldn't decide if she wanted to scream, cry, or punch someone. But this was the only ship to the Castellus system, where the turian fleet was bartering for supplies with the turian coloney of Digeris. If she waited for another shuttle, the fleet was likely to move on, and it would be weeks more before she was able to locate them again. She ground her teeth, and acquiesced.

"That would be acceptable to me officer." She said, trying to ignore the turian's obvious sneer. The elcor reluctantly refunded her account, and Tali climbed back to the steerage compartment. She found a nice hidey hole in a corner and sat down, already missing the _Normandy._ .

"Hey. Freak. That's my spot." A krogan rumbled dangerously.

Opening her eyes slowly, Tali repeated in her mind what Kaiden had told her. Love your enemies. End the cycle of hatred. She slowly rose.

"My apologies, why don't you sit next to me?" She said, helpfully as she could manage.

The krogan shoved her and growled. "I don't like anyone in my spot. Move."

That was too much. She had been willing to give up her seat once, but this krogan was just going to shove everyone around until he got his way. Moving faster then the eye could see, Tali knocked the krogan's legs out from under him in a singe sweep, then leaped on top of him with her knife pointed at his throat.

"I am Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, student of Battlemaster Urdnot Wrex. And this is my spot. You can sit next to me, or you can buzz off and die. Your choice."

The krogan gasped for breath, eyeing her carefully. "Um. I think I will sit next to you."

Tali jumped to her feat and helped the krogan up. "Good. Then I will have someone to talk to."

"Goodbye, Urdnot Tali. Your instruction will aid me as I crush my enemies. Fight well." Weyrloc Elgar bowed slightly, and ambled off the shuttle.

Tali sighed. She had just told him a few stories to be polite after he had told her of his own great feats, and before long Elgar had challenged her to an arm wrestling contest to see if she was telling the truth. Tali had hacked his armors servo-joints and tossed him to the floor when he saw it as an opportunity to try and break her arm, and after a second demonstration of her combat prowess he had taken to calling her Urdnot Tali. Apparently clan Urdnot was a powerful one, and Wrex was not a complete unknown, though his name was more famous as a merc then as a former clan leader. Elgar had managed to drag a few more techniques out of her, and seemed to hold Tali in some form of respect.

As she exited, the other passengers kept well away from her. She was fairly certain it was not because she was a quarian. To the poor souls who had been in steerage with her and Elgar, she was the scary woman who had tackled a krogan then proceeded to tell some of the most horrifying and bloodthirsty tales that they had ever heard. She supposed it was a step in the right direction. Sort of.

She walked down the boarding tube, only to be stopped on the docks by a turian guard. "Look, I don't know how many times we have to tell you people, but you stay in your own damn conclave or in the merchant quarters. We get to many damn complaints just from you people walking around."

Tali was ready to give the turian a scathing piece of her mind, but she realized he might be able to help her locate representatives from the migrant fleet.

"I don't suppose that it's procedure for you to escort me back to the conclave is it?" Tali asked the guard hopefully.

He blinked at her, mandibles twitching in puzzlement. "Um, yeah, it is. That gonna be a problem?"

"Nope!" Tali said cheerily, "Keelah, its the best news I've had all day. Lead on officer."

He muttered something about her oxygen filters needing changing, but led on, abet slightly confusedly.

"Here it is. For the love of spirits, please, don't go out again unless it's with an official pass and escort." The guard instructed hopelessly, obviously sure she was going to sneak off as soon as his back was turned.

"Oh, believe me. Unless your name is Garrus Vakarian, I have no interest in seeing a turian for a long time." Tali snorted, then waved cheerily and walked into the compound.

She felt a wash of relief as she spotted a quarian woman loading a crate of food onto a shuttle, and hurried over. The quarian woman turned to face, her, and her body took on a questioning stance. "Yes? Who are you?"

"'After time adrift among open stars, along tides of light and through shoals of dust, I will return to where I began.'" She quickly recited, to excited to worry about her being a captain or not.

Her body language changed rapidly, her hands fluttering up in excitement and celebration. "Oh, a pilgrim! How exciting, did you just get in? Poor thing, the officers must have thrown you in here with us! This place is like a prison, I swear, but the captain's handled them well enough. Oh, let me go introduce you to him. What was your name child?"

"Tali Zorah nar Rayya." She said, hoping the woman wouldn't recognize her.

The other quarian gasped, and clutched Tali's hands. "Oh, Captain Han will be so pleased to hear you're back! He and your father have been worried sick about you! Come, quickly, this is such good news."

Tali gulped. It figured. Though in a way, it was fortunate. Admiral Han'Gerrel vas Neema was a good man and a family friend, and she had actually strongly considered joining the crew of the _Neema_. Fate seemed inclined to have her do just that, and frankly, she was ready to be a part of a crew, any crew. Her time, however brief, away from the Normandy had reminded her of just how unfriendly and dangerous the galaxy was for a lone quarian.

She threaded her way through the enclave, though it was slow going. Every new face had to be introduced, though Tali enjoyed the formalities, especially since she was interested in joining the _Neema's_ crew. She was a good ship, and several of her crew in addition to Admiral Han'Gerrel were known to her. They greeted Tali with enthusiasm, and she responded in turn.

There was one quarian in particular she enjoyed seeing again, a strapping young male named Ven'Orra vas Neema, one of the engineers aboard the _Neema._ She had met him a time or two before, and she was glad to see him again. From what she knew of him he was rarely ill, the sign of a strong immune system, very strong, and excellent with machines. And most importantly, single. He had been one of the reasons Tali had strongly considered the_ Neema_. Oh, Tali hadn't forgotten about Shepard, but he was gone,Ven was here, and it was good to see such familiar faces.

Finally, she was formally presented to Admiral Han. He obviously recognized her, but formality had to be observed. Work had stopped, as everyone in the camp came to see what would happen. Tali did not have to present Han with her pilgrimage gift, she could instead ask for transport to a ship of her choice to present her gift to that captain. It was prestigious and fun to provide transport to a Pilgrim, and the crew would be excited and happy if that was what Tali chose. Having her join the crew though was much more interesting, as they would get to have a new crew member, not to mention see whatever gift the famous daughter of Admiral Raal'Zorah brought first hand.

"Who is this that stand's before me?" Han demanded, his voice deep and formal.

"A Pilgrim, returned from her journey." Tali replied.

The crowd hushed, waiting. The first few phrases were the same whether or not Tali intended to stay on the Neema or not.

"How do I know you? I do not remember sending you."

"I have wandered far."

"Where have you wandered, Pilgrim?"

"Adrift among open stars, along tides of light and through shoals of dust."

"What do you seek, Pilgrim?

"To return from whence I began."

"Where did you begin Pilgrim?"

"At another place, but to there I cannot return."

"Why can you not return?"

"We cannot return to our Cradle, the Garden is lost."

A moment of hushed silence followed, respectful reverence for Rannoch.

"What do you seek?"

This was the part where ritual parted. If Tali responded "A home to call my own" she was formally asking to become a part of the Neema's crew. If she responded, "I seek the place called" and then said the name of another ship, she was requesting passage.

Tali paused a moment, as was traditional, rubbing her chin as if in deep thought. She could feel the anticipation, the anxious waiting that surrounded her.

"A home to call my own." Tali finally said, and excited whispers went through the crowd.

Now Tali had to present her gift, to be accepted or refused by the Captain. An especially weak or poor gift could be rejected, though usually captains accepted anyway. Not Han'Geral. He was a strict Captain, and he had a full, well respected crew. He had rejected several pilgrims with mediocre gifts, who then had to endure the embarrassment of being carted off and given to a ship more willing to take on new crew. Tali was nearly certain that her gift would be accepted enthusiastically, but you could never be sure with Han. He was certain to be extra demanding of his old friends daughter.

"We have no room for those who cannot build a home of their own. What do you bring to my home?" Han intoned, and Tali thought she detected a hint of excitement in his voice, though he was to stoic for her to read easily.

"Complete technical readouts of several new geth platforms, battle tactics and formations of geth fleets and ground troops, current geth deployments around Rannoch, and geth doctrine in the event of an invasion."

Silence fell over the essembly, and Tali could feel a hundred pairs of incredulous eyes on her.

"Oh? Is that all?" Han replied, and Tali heard several quarians break out in laughter.

Tali felt her heart in her throat. That was NOT the response of a captain about to accept a new crew member, and she nearly panicked. She would never be able to face her father, and she would rather flee to Tauchanca and become a krogan in earnest then join a lesser ship after being rejected. Bosh'tet! She had shot to high...

Suddenly, Tali remembered something. It was unusual, it was unorthodox, but it might just be enough to tip the scales in her favor. Besides, Han had asked if that was all...

"No, I also bring you this!" Tali said hurriedly, and brought up the recording she had found in the geth base, and the sound of a quarian singing filled the air.

_O people, weep for thy children_

_O people, cry for the lost_

_O people, morn for thy homes_

_O people, thy garden is lost_

_O children, lost and without a guide_

_Weep for thy parents that disown thee_

_The garden lays abandoned_

_Its caretaker has fled_

_The gardener has left her children_

_To play alone among her flowers_

_O people, why do you destroy your children_

_O children, why do you slay your parents_

_The garden is stained with blood_

_Blood of the gardeners, blood of the children_

_The garden waits for its maker's hand_

_As the children roam its streets, lost_

_O people, O children why are you lost_

Silence once again reigned, and Tali was certain even the most distant could hear her heart beating. Han stood silently, and the crowd watched.

"It is, um, a song from before the Rebellions I think." Tali nervously added, licking her lips.

Suddenly, several quarian's broke down crying, and the sound of sniffles and weeping filled the air. Great. First they laughed at her, now they cried because her gift was so worthless.

"Oh keelah, I'm doomed." Tali whimpered softly.

Finally, Han spoke. "Keelah Tali, I was joking! That was the best damn pilgrimage gift I've ever seen, and then you bring me _this?"_

Bosh'tet! She had been so close, but she had brought that song up! What sort of pyjak brained varren spawn could screw her pilgrimage gift up by adding another!

"By the Ancestor's girl, I would have begged you aboard my ship for just the song or that data on the geth! To have both... You have surely brought the greatest Pilgrimage gift ANY quarian has EVER brought to a captain." Han paused, then bowed deeply.

Tali was shocked, speechless and happier then she had ever been before, all at once.

"Tali'Zorah... I would be honored if you would join my crew."

The crowd cheered wildly, and Tali felt the weight of the world lift from her shoulders.

"I'm home." She whispered.

_Tali'Zorah: I only wore the name Vas Neema for a few years, but I remember her well. _

_Unna'Karish: Few aside from what remains of the Neema's crew even remember that fact, you are much better known as Tali'Zorah vas Normandy_

_Tali'Zorah: True, though to me Vas Neema will always have a special place in my heart _

Authors Note;

Were going to be spending quite a while on the quarian fleet. It was two years from ME1 to ME2, and remember, this is not Shepard's story. This is Tali's story. I won't go over everything that could happen to her in exhaustive detail, but there were obviously several major events in Tali's life behind the scenes, such as her gaining command of a detachment of quarian marines and fighting a war against the geth that lead to her loyalty mission in ME2, as well as the political turmoil that lead to the events of Priority: Rannoch. I also plan on fleshing out quarian culture, religion, romance and politics in a way that agrees with cannon but answers many of the questions left floating around.


	15. Chapter 13: Neema

Chapter 13: _Neema_

_Tali'Zorah: I know today young people still seek a ship's name, but I do not think you truly understand the bond that forms between you and the ship when your very life, your very soul, rests with her._

_Unna'Karis: Perhaps it is the same as the bond that forms with the earth, with family._

_TZ: Then you understand._

The hustle and bustle of the turian space port hadn't changed, nor had the looks Tali got from any turians that saw her. Some were pitying, others tolerant, some openly hostile, but most just looked right through her, like she was a non-person. When she had first arrived, it had slightly grated on her. Now however, it didn't matter, because she was always with at least one other quarian who was a shipmate.

She hadn't fully integrated into the crew yet, and was still "Nar Pilgrim" or, of the pilgrimage, and would be until another Pilgrim joined the Neema's crew. It was a term of affection though, a quarian equivalent of "the new girl." Everyone at one point in their life or another was Nar Pilgrim, and Tali enjoyed it. It was a sign she was an adult now, and no longer a child.

"Look, that's the lowest I can go. Five hundred credits is already a deal, just by salvage weight," the turian merchant cajoled, trying to get the most money out of Tali'Zorah vas Neema and Boyya'Vess vas Neema.

Boyya was the quarian woman who Tali had first approached, and she had proved to be just as mothering and meddling as Tali had thought she was when she met her. Boyya meant well though, and she was turning out to be an expert haggler.

"Bosh'tet turian, you need to scrape the scales from your eyes, because this hunk of junk can't be worth more than 300 credits, it's not worth even 200 by weight!"

Merchant and haggler glared at each other, though it didn't appear to be racial hostility. Regulus Idromin was a kind hearted old turian, who seemed to have a bit of a soft spot for the quarians. That was why they kept coming back to his shop. While he did of course try to rip off his customers as much as the next scrap dealer, he did it out of simple greed, not because he hated them.

"If I may be so bold madam, you are a thief and a swindler! I cannot possibly go any lower than 480 credits!" Regulus's face was a mask of tortured nobility, though his eyes glittered. He and Boyya had already been at this for a while. She had started off with the ludicrous offer of 250 credits, and Boyya had responded by asking the equally ridiculous price of 700 credits. They were getting pretty close to splitting the difference, as the item was worth about 450 credits. The real question was if it was going to sell for closer to 475 credits or 425.

"Oh come on Regulus, you know she won't be happy unless you give it to her for 400. Here, I'll pay you 430 credits for it so we can get back to the Neema before it's time to leave," Tali finally interjected, fed up with the bargaining. She enjoyed haggling as much as the next person, but they really did have to get back to the ship.

Regulus eyed Tali for a moment, trying to decide if he was being double teamed. Boyya gave Tali a look of pure consternation. Fantastic, she had managed to irritate both of the bosh'tets.

Seeing Boyya's look of irritation, Regulus decided it was a victory and pronounced, "Done!"

Tali swiped her credit chit, and they put the ancient power converter in their hand truck and headed out of the store. "Come back next time you're in the system, you ugly suit rats!" he called, waving merrily.

"I'll be sure to, you son of a krogan!" Boyya called back merrily, blowing Regulus a kiss.

The turian laughed and shook his head, walking back inside.

Turning to Tali, Boyya managed to beam through her mask. "That was brilliant Tali! I never thought I would get him down that far, I would have been happy with 440 credits! This hunk of junk was worth almost 480! We will make a bargainer out of you yet."

So Boyya thought Tali had done that intentionally did she? Tali decided not to dispel the illusion Boyya was under, basking in her praise instead. She had managed to get a pretty good bargain after all, and Tali was anxious to return to the migrant fleet. Supposedly, her father was coming over to the Neema, ostensibly to congratulate Tali. She had a feeling it was really so he could evaluate the data on the geth she had gathered first hand.

As they walked through the city, Tali and Boyya chatted happily. Turians were everywhere, along with a few other aliens. Most of them ignored the quarians, though several guards looked ready to pounce if they loitered for even a moment. They kept moving and Tali took solace in the acceptance of her own people. As Shepard had taught her, hating everyone would do her little good.

"So, what do you think of your new crew Nar Pilgrim?" Boyya asked.

"Hard to say since we haven't been space borne yet, but everyone has been quite welcoming so far." Tali replied happily.

Boyya snorted, "They had better be, after you brought two Gifts back! Two gifts! I can't think of the last time anyone brought two gifts and never gifts so fine as you! Why, my own pilgrimage gift was a simple cargo of food I bargained for right here on Digeris! Kept the whole crew fed for six months it did, but compared that song!"

Continuing on for several minutes, Boyya regaled Tali with tales of her own pilgrimage gift and those of other recent pilgrims, including several who failed to impress Admiral Han enough to let them join her crew. Tali just nodded, as far as Boyya was concerned conversations could be easily conducted entirely by her. That didn't bother Tali though, she was anxious to learn all she could about her ship's crew and the local gossip was the perfect person to teach her.

As Boyya wound down, Tali interjected, "What about Ven'Orra's pilgrimage gift? I heard his was especially good?"

Boyya gave Tali a knowing dip of her head, and her voice conveyed the fact she had just picked up a rather juicy tidbit of gossip. "Why, indeed it was! He brought in a new life support system that doubled the amount of food we could grow ourselves by incorporating a new strain of algae in the bio-filters that produce water and dextro-food bases for us. Funny you should bring him up, I hear he's single right now, hasn't joined suits with anyone since he joined our crew last year."

Tali's heart started to beat faster in her chest. She tried to remember she was in love with Shepard, but nagging doubts pricked at her. Shepard was thousands of light years away. He had left the last woman he loved behind. He was human, and lavo based. Her father would never approve, and Shepard had never shown the slightest interest in her. Curiosity and loneliness won out.

"Oh?" she said, trying to keep the excitement out of her voice.

"Why yes, in fact he hasn't shown the slightest interest in anyone at all! Spends all his time working on his machines. Good with his hands though, from what I hear." Boyya tried to hide her interest in Tali's reaction, but Tali could see her glowing eyes carefully watching Tali through her visor.

"Hmmm." Tali simply replied. "Come on, we have to hurry, we're leaving in just under an hour."

Back in the enclave everyone was hustling and bustling about, though almost everyone took time to wave to Tali and ask what the "Nar Pilgrim" had brought back from her shopping trip. Naturally, Boyya answered for her.

"You should have seen her! Such a bargainer! She took old Regulus for his head quills, let me tell you! She's a natural, but what can you expect from the daughter of Rael'Zorah?"

Deciding on whether or not to be embarrassed or proud of Boyya's bragging, Tali hadn't quite made up her mind when she almost bumped right into Han'Gerral.

"Ah, Tali, you're back. And looks like you had a successful trip. Come with me, I want you on the command bridge as we lift off."

"Aye aye Captain," Tali answered, and saluted crisply.

There was a moment of silence, and a snigger in the back ground. Tali blushed furiously, glad that her face was obscured. Quarians were rather more informal than even the rather lax standards Shepard held his own crew to. Unless you were in the military, which Tali was most certainly not, saluting the ship's captain and "aye ayeing" was simply not done.

After a moment, Han returned Tali's salute with machine precision, though she thought she could detect a smile on his face.

"As you were, Nar Pilgrim." Han wryly replied, then led Tali toward the bridge.

When they were out of hearing range of most of the others, he whispered, "Human's rubbing off on you?"

"Er, yes Captain," Tali mumbled.

Laughing, Han slapped Tali on the back. "Well Tali nar Pilgrim, perhaps we could use the back bone the humans showed the Turians at Relay 314."

"The what? Oh, you mean the First Contact War. From what I heard, the humans gave the Hierarchy a nice kick in the mandible."

Nodding, Han absently mused, "That what the humans call it? Interesting. Our first contact with the galaxy was hardly so exciting."

Unlike humans, quarians had made fairly peaceful first contact. They had joined the Citadel around 500 years ago, establishing an embassy and establishing a reputation for producing excellent quality technical products to rival the mass produced, lower quality volus lines. Mostly keeping to themselves, before the Geth Rebellions, quarians had not had a large fleet or felt the need to frequently venture beyond their own colonies and systems. They had been trading partners with the turians because of their shared biological needs, but had not frequently ventured beyond the Veil.

Their initial meeting had been with the salarians, and despite some initial spying and a few "accidents" very few hard feelings had arisen. The salarians had been happy to find a race with such technological prowess overall, though after their experiences with the krogan they had been understandably cautious. They had led the quarians to activate the nearby Tikkun Relay the quarians had discovered only months earlier, and the quarians had joined the galaxy not with a splash but a smooth transition.

In truth, quarians had played a very minor role in galactic politics until the Geth Rebellions, rarely having cause for petitioning the council. Their unique symbiotic biology made contact with other races risky even back then, and creating new colonies was expensive as well as time consuming. As such, only a bare handful of quarian colonies had ever existed. All had been very close to Rannoch and had never had more than a small percentage of the total quarian population. All of the colonies had fallen, even more swiftly then Rannoch during the Geth Rebellions.

Another rather bizarre change with the migrant fleet was that races that had previously seldom seen quarians on their own soil had suddenly found themselves often visited by pilgrims from the migrant fleet. Whereas once quarian visitors to places like Ilium had been rather rare, now they were a common occurrence. Combined with the fact that these quarians seemed intent on looting whatever they could then leaving instead of contributing to the local economy led the a rather intense wave of quarianphobia. Policies of not allowing quarians in large numbers or refusing quarians passage of some transport lines become commonplace as well as upheld by the galactic legislature.

Even the fleet's "visit" to Digeris had been met with undisguised hatred. Once a prime trading partner, Digeris had been browbeaten into giving the fleet a "gift" so that it would keep well away from the colony prime. The _Neema_ had been sent to negotiate the terms of the "gift"- mostly food products and materials for repairs. Now that the quarians had been placated, they would leave to find a new place to gather resources.

Stepping onto the _Neema _with her engines warming up was a very different experience from coming aboard with the engines shut down for repairs and refit. The whole ship seemed to quiver, as if shaking sleep from itself. To Tali's surprise, she found the ship noisy. After long months aboard the whisper silent Normandy, she had grown used to having to listen to hear her ships heartbeat. The Neema was a very different story. The hum of the drive core could be heard from the bridge, and various hisses and beeps as well as rumblings could be heard from the different systems. It was much as the _Rayya _had been, but every ship's heartbeat was unique.

Closing her eyes, Tali smiled and let the sounds of her new ship wash over her. After a moment, she opened them and smiled at Han'Gerral.

"I feel your ship's heart captain, it is a wonderful thing," Tali whispered, patting a bulkhead affectionately.

Han nodded. "It is, the_ Neema_ is a great ship, and I am proud to be her captain." He gave Tali a sly grin. "Good thing we were here in port for you to find, it could have been Zaal'Koris's _Qwib Qwib._"

Chuckling Tali nodded. "I was planning on trying to join your ship anyway Captain, I don't think I could stand being Vas Qwib Qwib."

The rivalry between Zaal'Koris and Han'Gerral and Tali's father was well known. Zaal supported a more peaceful agenda, finding a new planet to colonize instead of trying to retake Rannoch like Han'Gerral and Rael'Zorah advocated. The unfortunate name of Zaal's ship did not help his cause much, and currently most of the ship captains favored the Zorah/Gerral camp. The rest of the admirals were mostly swing voters who kept the balance of power fairly even.

For herself, Tali supported her father's point of view. Previously this had been simply because he was her father, and therefore she supported him, but after seeing the mindless violence and destruction the geth had visited upon the human colonies and the citadel, Tali had her own personal reasons and experiences to draw on in her desire to see the geth wiped out and the homeworld reclaimed.

They walked slowly to the bridge. Han gave Tali time to examine every centimeter of the vessel as they walked forward, telling her about each repair, scratch, or stain and the story behind it. To the quarians, their ship was a living, breathing thing, and more than just a home. To them it was family, and as the newly adopted daughter of the _Neema_, Tali had to learn its storied past. Each repair was a scar that had been healed with care and love, each stain a tragedy or comedy, and each scratch a message from those who came before.

Finally, they arrived at the bridge. In the center, a small shrine was erected with hand carved images of past captains and a parchment role sheet with all the crew that had ever served aboard the _Neema_. On newer ships, the pictures were often holo images and the role sheet a simple data log, but the _Neema_ was an ancient vessel that traced its line of captains unbroken to Yelli'Gerral Nar Neema, the captain that had led her crew from Rannoch, and Han'Gerral's distant ancestor. As such, the shrine was hand carved from wood on Rannoch and was considered to be one of the most sacred sites on the Migrant Fleet. It was simple in form, a raised altar with a large backboard where the small icons of past captains hung with the parchment normally stored in an air tight chamber underneath. Today though, it was out, carefully set upon the altar's top for the ship's newest member.

Tali felt the gentle pull as the ship engines rumbled to full power, and the Neema slowly rose to the heavens. Unlike the gentle hum and vibrations of the Normandy, the Neema shook and bumped and groaned. She was an old girl, but proud, and the Neema left the atmosphere behind as the rumblings faded into the background.

Swallowing her nervousness, Tali walked to the entry portal of the bridge as was traditional. The last part of the initiation to the ships crew could not be formally completed until the Neema was in open space, symbolic of the loss of ties to a single planet.

Walking over to the altar, Han nodded to an ensign who cued up the PA system so that it was broadcasting to the entire vessel.

"Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, approach." He intoned, and several members of the ship's crew started playing a distant, airy melody in the background.

Tali walked slowly forward, matching her pace to the songs slow beat. She five paces before Han, then knelt facing the altar.

"Tali'Zorah, you have left the place of your birth, never again to call it home. You have told me you seek a home to call your own, would you take the Neema as your home?"

"If she will accept me and the ancestors will it," Tali replied.

Turning to face the altar, Han asked, "Does this child have the blessing of those who came before?"

The song fell silent, and the only sound that could be heard was pulse of the Neema herself. Suddenly, a deep, shuddering throb pulsed through the ship, and Han had to sidestep to maintain his balance.

Holding her breath, Tali waited to see what he would say, whether he would interpret the ship's response as an auspicious omen or one of condemnation.

"The very ship quakes with joy to know that Tali'Zorah is to join our hallowed company!" Han shouted, a big belly laugh erupting from deep within him.

The rest of the crew joined in the laughter, cheering for joy. Han turned back to Tali. "Tali'Zorah, will you travel through time and space, ever seeking, never resting, always vigilant?"

"I will."

"Will you honor your captain's word as life and death?"

"I will."

"Will you give your life before you allow harm to come to this vessel?"

"I will."

"Will you never stop until the homeworld is reclaimed." This did not quite come out as a statement. To Han, the time to fight for the homeworld again was near.

Tali felt it was near as well, and gave the time honored response of her people. "Keelah Se'lai."

_At this point, the narrative is silent, and a picture of Tali'Zorah's name on the shrine's parchment is shown, with the words, Keelah Se'Lai_

_Authors Note: _

_For this chapter, I actually had a real proofreader! Yay! Thanks chefteena!_


	16. Chapter 14: A Father's Love

**Woo! 100 reviews, and 22,000 views! Thanks so much to everyone who has reviewed or PM's me, your support makes writing this much more fun!**

Chapter 14: A Father's Love

_Tali'Zorah: Of course, after that I got to see my father again for the first time in months._

_Unna'Karis: Was the reunion what you dreaded?_

_TZ: In part, but there was blessing there. My father was distant, but he was strong._

_UK: He was remember as a hero._

_TZ: I pray that what I tell you later does not change that. _

Gazing out to the stars, Tali felt a swirl of emotions. She could see pinpricks of moving light, and shadows passing over the stars. Those were the _Neema's_ brothers and sisters in the migrant fleet, lifeships, scouting vessels, refitted merchantmen and more. Each with its own crew and story, each a precious repository of quarian life and culture. Among those stars though lurked a specter that made her heart beat ever faster in anxiety. Her father. Somewhere among those ships, the _Neema_ slowly moved toward the _Themia_, her father's flagship.

Admiral Rael'Zorah vas Themia, one of the most powerful men in the fleet, and certainly one of the three most influential. Along with Han'Gerral vas Neema, her own ship's captain, he lead the coalition of ships captains that favored immediate and violent action against the geth to retake Rannoch. Opposed to him was the coalition lead by Zaal'Koris vas Qwib Qwib, which favored leaving the geth in peace and finding a new planet to colonize.

For herself, Tali was in her father's camp, though no longer because of a sense of loyalty to him. Seeing the geth burn and destroy the homes of others was enough to convince Tali' that they needed to be destroyed by any means necessary, not just for the quarians, but for the safety of the galaxy at large. She knew her father would find any reason that was not directly related to the quarian people superfluous. As far as he was concerned, the geth were a quarian problem, and that was enough.

There was also good news, Auntie Raan would be coming over with her father. Raan had always been close to Tali, and had been present when she was born. To a quarian, the risk associated with being in a clean room with the woman giving birth were enormous, and Shala'Raan vas Tonbay had been deathly ill for weeks after Tali's birth. Her sacrifice had formed a bond between the older woman and Tali, and in many ways after Tali's mother had died of a plague that had swept the fleet, Shala had been Tali's surrogate mother. While Tali was fairly certain her father was more interested in the data she had brought back then her, she knew her auntie would simply be happy to see her after months of absence.

Tali's musings were interrupted when Admiral Han'Gerral put his hand on her shoulder. "Tali, they are nearly here. Come, I'll take you to the docking bay where we will meet them. "

Nodding silently, Tali followed her captain through the Neema. She tried to stamp down on her nervousness, and her hope that her father might actually acknowledge her. She refused to get her hopes up, and she didn't want to be frightened. She was now an adult, and she didn't need her father to support her any longer.

"You must be excited, it's been a long time since you've seen your father." Han commented as they neared the docking bay.

"Yes. It has." Tali responded simply.

"Look, Tali, I know Rael hasn't always been the ideal father, but he does care for you, deeply." Han quietly told Tali as they waited by the bay door.

"And how would you know that?" Tali said, trying to keep the bitterness out of her voice.

"Because he told me. When he found out you joined me ship, he sent me a message telling me that if I didn't take good care of his little girl, he would personally see that would take a long walk out of a short air lock." Han joked, trying to lighten the mood.

"Why didn't he tell me that?" Tali whispered, now at the edge of tears.

Han was quiet for a moment, then managed, "Well, Rael was never good with his emotions. He was always a man of action."

"Then he should act more like my father." Tali growled.

For a moment, Han looked like he was going to respond, then a loud thump of the mooring clamps mating with the shuttle was heard, and they feel silent, waiting for their guests.

"You want to perform the ceremony?" Han asked quietly as door began to hiss open.

"Me?" Tali said, giving him a sharp look. It was quite an honor to ask for the time honored pass phrase of the quarians, and not one usually given to the ships "Nar Pilgrim," which Tali currently was. "But your the captain, and his friend."

"Perhaps, but you are his daughter, and my crown jewel of a crewmember. You've earned it. Go ahead." Han whispered, winking at Tali.

She straightened up and took a deep breath. She could do this, it was just Auntie Raan and... And her father.

A tall, stern quarian exited the hatch first, Rael'Zorah. A shorter women who held herself with obvious authority took her place at his side, Shala'Raan. They stood, waiting to be invited aboard.

Tali cleared her throat and stepped forward. "Who seeks entrance to our home?"

"Rael'Zorah vas Themia." Her father replied, formally.

"And Auntie Shala'Raan vas Tonbay." Came a much warmer reply.

"You are known to me, but your faces are hidden. How can I know it is you?" Tali asked, trying not to trip over her own words.

"Keelah Se'lai, we come as friends." They replied together. With that, the formal ceremony was completed, and Tali stood, wondering what was going to happen now.

A moment of awkward silence followed then Shala elbowed Rael hard in the ribs.

"Erf. Tali. It is good to see you my daughter." Rael stiffly said.

"It is good to see you as well father." Tali said, trying to hide her disappointment. The man could unbend a little, she had not spoken to him in months!

Flinging her hands up in the air, Shala declared "Oh your such an old fool Zael. THIS is how you great your long lost returning pilgrim!"

With that, Tali found herself enfolded in a warm embrace. "It is wonderful to see you my niece, you have grown so much! Is that a new suit? Where did you get it, it's simply wonderful!"

Tali let herself enjoy the physical contact, and tried not to glare at her father. "I am happy to see you as well Auntie Raan. It is a new suit, I bought it with money Captain Shepard gave me while I served on his crew."

Her father grunted. "At least he had some sense of decency, for a human."

Ignoring her father, Tali continued, "And I will have to tell you about my new Uncle, Urdnot Wrex."

Shala jerked back and studied Tali's face. "Uncle who? Urdnot is a krogan name, is it not?"

Tali giggled. "Yes it is Auntie Raan, Uncle Wrex is a mean old troll, but he took me to see a play and taught me combat tricks, just like you."

Zael shot a furious look at Han. "You know about this?" He demanded.

Han gave Tali a curious look. "First I've heard about it shipmate, and I have to confess, I want to know a bit more about your little girls pilgrimage myself. We waited to have her welcoming dinner until you and Shala could come of course." Han turned to Tali. "So tonight, surely we will hear all about it, yes?"

Tali shot a furious glare at her father, resisting the urge to wave her finger under his nose. "I will be glad to tell you the story of my Uncle Wrex, one of the bravest, kindest, most caring men I have ever met, krogan or otherwise."

"And I hope we will hear of this... Captain Shepard that is all over the news reports as well." Her father said, and Tali thought she detected a hint of malice in his voice.

"You will. Father. Auntie Raan." Tali stomped off, to angry to want to spend any more time with her condescending father.

"Bosh'tet, rock headed man." Tali grumbled to herself, "You would think he would at least say "hey, glad to see you, hope you're doing well, so proud that you managed to save the galaxy and kill more geth than any other quarian. I ought to take my shot gun and-"

"Woah, take it easy Nar Pilgrim. Don't bite my head off, I was going to congratulate you at your dinner tonight." A voice said from above Tali.

She started, drawing her knife and pointing it at the direction the voice had come from. "Who's there? Show yourself, don't make me come find you."

A tall, muscular male quarian dropped down from the air vent he had been working on. "Keelah Tali, take it easy! What, did you think I was a geth crawling around in our ducts?"

Flushing in embarrassment, Tali quickly put away her knife. "Er, sorry, Ven. Bit of a rough day so far. Guess I'm jumpy."

Ven nodded knowingly. "Your father?"

"How did you?" Tali asked.

"Easy. If he's anything like my father, he's either always telling you about how wrong you are or telling you that you can never live up to his expectations. Even when you join the most prestigious ship in the fleet ."

Tali sighed. "Yeah. That sounds about right."

"You know, if I ever needed to take my mind off something, I always tinkered a bit." Ven remarked, offering Tali a plasma torch and welding glove. "And someone interrupted my work on the air vents here. Now I'm behind, how can I catch up?"

Grinning, Tali took the torch and slipped on the gloves. "You know, I always do the same thing when I'm upset. "

Ven laughed, a deep, pleasant sound that lifted some of the tension Tali was feeling. "Well, let's be good little children of the _Neema_ and make her proud. "

As they worked, Tali and Ven chatted happily, the time quickly sliding by. Ven had been born on the _Ideena_, a cruiser with a crew of just under 700 souls. "My mother still serves aboard her, along with my little brother. He's heading off on his pilgrimage in two months, I'm heading over to see him off just before. He wants' to be a doctor, join the crew of one of the liveships."

"What about your father?" Tali asked as she cleaned out some sludge from one of the ducts. Mold and fungus in the ducts was not simply thrown away, but carefully preserved and put in the food vats. Most of it was symbiotic to quarians, and while if it grew unchecked it could cause clogging and contamination, if regularly harvested it provided a decent about of bio-mass for the life-support systems.

Ven grunted. "Old bastard died a few years back. Caught a disease that was going around a few years back. A lot of women and children on the_ Ideena _were sick as well. He gave his medicine to them instead of taking it himself. The doctors say he saved a few lives doing that, but it cost him his. Stubborn old bastard. They never even knew he was doing it until he dropped one day, and found out he had never taken any of the medigel they gave him."

They worked in silence for a few moments, then Tali whispered, "That was very brave of him."

Ven stopped working and turned to face Tali. "Yeah. But you know what? When I found out, I was mad at him. I was off on my pilgrimage at the time, and I didn't find out till I got back. I was mad. Old bastard had found a way to getting out of telling me he was proud of me. He just had to die to do it. What kind of a son does that make me."

Tali reached out and touched her hand to Ven's face. "A hurting one."

Slowly, Ven reached up and touched his own hand to Tali's. When he spoke again, his voice was hoarse. "Yeah. I guess. Let's get this finished, don't want you to show up to your Pilgrimage dinner all covered in scum."

Their talk was mostly technical after that, asking for tools or Tali wanting to know what the _Neema _preferred when it came to cleaning. Van was mostly robotic in his responses, and the work was finished quickly.

Ven walked her to the clean room for her to shower and wash her suit, then stiffly bid her farewell and headed off.

It felt good to take a shower, the mist of the decontamination spray against her skin felt wonderful. Letting all her fears, worries and troubles wash away in the spray should have been easy, but two things kept nagging at her mind. Two people, really. Tali couldn't get Shepard out of her had. Her talk with Van had seemed almost like a betrayal. Like she was turning her back on Shepard. But the touch of Van had felt... Good. It had also been wonderful to open up to someone, and have them open up to her in return. Shepard had opened up to her a few times as well, but they had never really gotten close. The formal relationship of captain and subordinate had always been there.

It was different with Ven. They were more or less equals, despite Tali's newness to the ship, Ven had been respectful of her abilities, and had made several polite remarks about her skill and ingenuity. On a quarian ship, rank was largely determined by ability, and Tali was confidant she would quickly become the go to girl when difficult technical problems arose, similar to the status Van now enjoyed.

And besides, she was likely not to see Shepard again, and he had never displayed any interest in her. "That's because you never told him you were interested in him, bosh'tet." Tali grumbled to herself.

A small, stubborn voice within her pointed out that she had dropped plenty of hints, and the bosh'tet oaf should have been able to figure it out.

Her mind still in a tizzy, Tali finished her shower and began the purification rituals. Mostly unnecessary with modern technology, the rituals involved a through cleansing of her suit and prayer's to the ancestors and the ships spirit. While she and most quarians were not particularly religious, observing the time honored traditions of her people was important to virtually every quarian.

So much of their culture and history had been lost when they fled Rannoch, in part due to their haste of departure, in part because the first people to be saved were not scholars and teachers, but military and public service types that had survived long enough to make it to the ships fleeing the geth massacres. Due to this, the various rituals and traditions that still existed or had been developed since the exodus were held dear by every quarian, and the ritual of cleansing before Tali was formally presented to the ship's crew as a new member at her pilgrimage dinner was no exception.

She started with her most recent ancestor, the one she remember the best. This was of course, her mother.

"Mother, watch over me. Give me strength, courage and wisdom. Let me serve my new ship and captain honorably and well. And... And help me to find the man I was meant for. Let me bear strong children, and teach them the ways of the ancestors" Tali whispered, reciting formal lines taught her at her mother's knee. She hadn't thought she was say that prayer to her mother, instead thinking of one of her grandmothers or aunties, another ancestor that would surely leave Tali before her mother.

Tali felt her eyes blur with tears, and she wiped them away with her hand, smiling. It was one of the few times she had ever been able to wipe tears away with her own hand instead of relying on her suits moisture collection systems. Her memories of her mother were good ones though, and she had long made peace with the pain that still ached in her heart every day.

"Oh _Rayya_, ship of my mother, ship of my birth. Though I no longer cling to you for succor or shelter in your arms, may your spirit intercede on my behalf with the spirit of the_ Neema_. May I always know her comfort and warmth, and if I leave return to her safely."

All quarians, religious or not, firmly believed their ships had spirits or souls, and that they were less metal and glass and more a living, breathing being that actively guarded and protected its charges. In return, the quarians cared for and talked to the ship, giving it meals of fuel and element zero. Like ancient sailors of old on stormy seas, a ship was life, safety and food, and the quarians treated them as such.

The rest of Tali's prayers were to more distant ancestors, people whose names she new but not their faces or touch. Ancient relatives that some believed watched over them from beyond.

As she finished, on impulse Tali said some extra prayers. "Oh _Normandy_, ship that bore me through space and gathered unto me my pilgrimage gift. Give me the strength and grace you possess, and whisper to the _Neema_ of my deeds, that she might know her new daughter."

"Oh Shepard, captain of the_ Normandy_ and man that I loved. May I always have your wisdom and strength, even as you still travel the stars."

"Ashley, sister, shipmate. May I have your unflinching devotion to your shipmates and duty, and may I fulfill the charge you gave me."

Finially, Tali glanced around, nervously. She knew no one else could hear her, but the last prayer she wanted to mutter might offend the Rayya. "And Jeebus... Take care of Shepard. You're the god of an alien, but don't you dare let anything happen to Shepard before I get back to him."

That last prayer made her feel intensely silly for a moment, but she still remembered the remarkable coincidence that had happened right after Shepard had prayed. She wasn't sure it had anything to do with Jeebus, but she was also certain she didn't know that it hadn't either. And besides, an extra prayer wouldn't hurt anything.

She quickly donned her new suit, and walked out to the next chamber.

"Oh, Tali, you look so beautiful!" Boyya said happily, helping Tali put on the vestments that pilgrims always wore when they presented themselves.

It was a tunic of pure white, representing the innocents and trust the new pilgrim was placing in her new home. Upon it though a large black sash was worn, a symbol of morning, of Rannoch. The _Neema's _vestments were truly ancient and had been repaired and restored hundreds of times, til only fragments of the original material remained. Tali fingered them reverently, for they had originally been made on Rannoch, and were a small bit of the home she had never seen.

"Come on dear, everyone is waiting for you!" Boyya said happily, leading Tali to the main cargo hold, the one area on the ship that could accommodate most of her crew at one time.

The living quarters had been cleared out, and blankets laid on the ground for everyone to eat at. While there was only nutrient paste to eat, it had been prepared in a variety of ways that smelled absolutely wonderful, and Tali's mouth started to water. As she entered, a wild cheer arose, and Tali smiled, waving to her new crew. Captain Han took her hand, and lead her up to a small raised platform at the center.

"Crew of the _Neema_, honored guests, for the first time, I formally present to you Tali'Zorah... VAS NEEMA!"

The cargo bay shook with wild cheers and yells, and several small pops were heard as showers of ribbons rose into the air, draping themselves over Tali and Han.

Next, everyone of the crew members present came up and introduced themselves to Tali. The Neema was a fairly large ship, with over 900 crew members, and the process lasted for hours. There were breaks in between for food, singing, and dancing. Every so often Tali would join hands with several of her new shipmates and dance a reel, laughing and singing the whole time.

On one particular reel she found herself trapped in a circle with Ven'Orra. Tali glanced at the people ringing them, and saw Boyya looking particularly innocent.

"Well, I think we're supposed to dance." Ven managed, his eyes sparkling behind his faceplate.

"Why yes, I believe we are." Tali said casually.

They joined hands and spun around, laughing and giggling. All to soon it was over, and Tali was back to greeting more of her new shipmates. The sensation of Ven's body on hers lingered for a while, and Tali savored it.

After a few hours of wild partying, the mood settled down, and everyone but Tali retired to the blankets and sat, waiting expectantly. Now was when the new pilgrim regaled them with tales of what happened beyond the migrant fleet. Tali had told a few stories to individuals already, and rumors and been circling the _Neema_ that this was going to be a pilgrimage tale to remember.

"Well, I am a bit tired." Tali mused as she stood on the platform, "Surely no one wants to hear the boring stories I brought back to the fleet."

"WE DO BOSH'TET NAR PILGRIM!" The assembled crew roared. That particular exchange was a tradition exclusive to the_ Neema_ Boyya had coached Tali on a few days beforehand.

"Well then, I guess I am going to have to tell you a few stories to shut you up, bosh'tet shipmates." Tali responded, wagging her right pointer finger at the audience. There were a few muffled guffaws, but then silence fell.

Taking a deep breath, Tali began. "You may have heard that I served on a human ship on my pilgrimage, that I battled geth, destroyed a Reaper, and saved the galaxy. Some of you may have heard that it was all a great exaggeration."

She could taste the anticipation in the air, and looked over at her father and aunt. Shala was looking at her with a gleam in her eye, expectant. Her father hand his arms folded, and seemed bored. She felt a flash of anger. She would show him.

"I am afraid however..." A sigh of disappointment filled the room, "-That it was all true."

Her father sat up and took notice at that. Bosh'tet. "I did indeed travel the stars, on a ship called the _Normandy_. She was fast, and nearly silent, invisible to everyone. We slipped into systems so heavy with geth ships that I was afraid one would look out a view port and see us, but our pilot was skilled and brave, and our stealth systems prevented the geth from knowing we were there until we had already destroyed their bases and left. "

Murmurs of anticipation swept through the crowd, that was a story worth hearing. "Stealth systems who's workings I became intimately familiar with, and have already shared many details of with Admiral Han."

Han nodded, and Tali noticed for the first time her father was looking at her intently, as if seeing for the first time how much she had grown.

"But first, I will tell you of the bravest woman I ever met. A warrior without peer, who struck down geth with her assault rifle beyond number, and who I once saw tackle a geth aperture"

That particular stunt had nearly gotten Ashley killed as well, but Tali figured she should leave that part out.

"But the cruel, evil geth were to strong, and she was forced to give her life, to preserve her ship and crew. Her name was Ashley Williams vas Normandy, and her death blow destroyed thousands of geth in nuclear fire. Morn for the lost. Keelah Se'lai."

"Keelah Se'lai." The assembled quarians echoed somberly, Tali's father included. Even if Ashley had been a human, giving her life against the geth, to save ship and crew was an act of valor the quarians would honor in any species.

Tali drew in a deep breath. The next was going to knock her father flat on his pompous ass. "Ashley also gave to me hear death whisper, and chose me to carry out her duties to ship, captain and crew in her final breaths."

A stunned silence filled the cargo bay. Such thing was only done between close shipmates or relatives, and was the quarian equivalent of a will and blessing. "As such, I vow now before ship, captain and crew to carry out her last wish, and to honor her sacrifice I will name my first child Ashley, to honor the life she gave me."

Tali saw her father start, but he made no protest. She had followed formal protocol, and while he might berate her in private, he would not chastise her in public. He turned his face away though, and Tali had to fight back her anger again.

Han'Gerral stood. "As your captain, I acknowledge your vow, and will hold you too it. And I am sorry to hear the loss of such a brave, noble shipmate of yours Tali'Zorah. Keelah Se'lai, may it be so."

"Keelah Se'lai." The assembly echoed. Tali let out the breath she had been holding. If Han formally acknowledged her vow, not even her father could use his influence to have it forgotten.

"Next I will tell you of a brave and noble man who I met on my travels, who guided me, protected me, tended my wounds when I was ill, and trained me to meet my enemies with fury and honor. I will tell you of my Uncle, who formally adopted me as a battlemaster of Clan Urdnot."

She paused, and confused whispers filled the air. The quarian relation of Aunt and Uncle was a bond of trust and responsibility. The senior was expected to protect and teach the younger, and in return they were honored and respected by the younger who would come to their aid when called. As far as Tali knew, no quarian had ever declared themselves to be niece of krogan as she was about to do.

"I speak of my Uncle, Urdnot Wrex of Tuchanka, shipmate and mentor to me."

The air buzzed with excitement, and Tali smiled as she began to tell of her time with Wrex. She told them of the combat drills he ran her through, of his gruff exterior that held the soul of a poet, of his love of plays, the many times he saved her life or told her a joke to cheer her up.

"And when he threatened to pull the volus out of his suit and make him squeal for mercy to me, the poor thing just fainted right away and rolled slowly down the hill. Wrex turned to me and said, 'Well, I guess that'll teach him to disrespect MY niece.'"

The chamber roared with laughter, and Tali even spotted her father shaking with mirth. The volus were particularly hated by the migrant fleet for their niggardly nature and refusal to ever offer any kind of aid, dispite their vast material wealth.

She proceeded to tell stories of Kaiden and Garrus, of the laughter and tears she shared with Liara, the barbs she exchanged with Joker, and of her meeting with the prime minister of the Alliance. That in particular seemed to get her father's attention, the Systems Alliance had so far been unusually generous to the migrant fleet when it passed through its systems, perhaps out of naivety or just out of simple expediency. Having a link to the prime minster could be the migrants fleet's ticket to even more generous gifts, and that was something her father considered to be worth having.

Finally, Tali finished with stories of Shepard. She told them of his strong will, of his willingness to forgive his enemies, of his strange god that turned water into wine and answered pleas for help almost immediately. That got her several incredulous looks, but Tali spread her hands in a gesture of confusion, and the others decided it was probably just an embellishment on her part. She did leave the part about falling madly in love with a human out, but she kept on eye on Boyya. She didn't need the motherly quarian starting rumors, even if they were true.

Late into the ships day/night cycle, Tali finally finished. There were tired yawns mixed with the cries for more, but she simply waved and bid everyone goodnight. The lights were dimmed and people lay down with loved ones and friends where they were, the next day the cargo bay would be restored to the way it had been before.

Tali got ready to snuggle up with Raan on a blanket, when she felt a firm grip on her shoulder.  
"Tali." Her father quietly said. "After reviewing your data on the geth, and listening to your stories." He paused for a moment, and Tali felt a surge of anger. Even on her day of triumph, he would find a way to berate her or have new questions or tell her that she should have worked harder.

"-I just wanted to tell you how proud of you I am." All the angry remarks fled Tali's mind in an instant. "I think your mother would be proud of you as well. You have grown into a remarkable young woman. Capable, strong, intelligent and resourceful. I love you so much, and I don't think I have told you that often enough and-"

Her father stopped as Tali flung herself onto him, crying softly. "Thank you, daddy. Thank you. I love you too."

Strong arms wrapped themselves around her, and Tali heard her auntie mutter sharply, "About time, you bosh'tet of a man."

But she didn't care. All the times he had been silent, all the times she thought he hadn't cared... They were not quite made up for in that moment, but it came close.

"I do love you Tali, even though sometimes I don't show it. I hope you know that." Rael whipsered in her suits audio processor.

"I do father. I do." She whispered back.

They lay down on the blankets with Raan, and Tali felt more at peace then she had in a very long time. For tonight, for once, everything was right.

_Unna'Karis: I saw the video of your pilgrimage dinner, you looked splendid, though I admit if I had not heard those stories from others I would find them hard to believe. _

_Tali'Zorah: Thank you, I think everyone should have as wonderful a pilgrimage dinner as I did._

_UK: If you don't mind my asking, was that the last time your father told you he loved you?  
TZ:Not at all. And yes, it was._

_UK: I see. My own father doted on me, perhaps to much. I can't imagine what it was like. _

_TZ: Zaal was always a warmer man then my own father. We might not have always gotten along, but I respected how he raised his family. I hope I did as good a job with my own. _

_UK: As a friend of your daughter, I can safely say you did.  
TZ: Thank you. You do not know how much that means to me. _

Author's note: Ok, TalixAnyone-who-is-not-my-OC shippers, calm down. I'll make you a deal. Read the next two chapters. Then, if your STILL in a righteous fury, you can PM or review all you want that I am a tasteless soulless cretin who doesn't see the beauty of your particular ship. No, I won't give you any more spoilers. Just read the next two chapters, they should be up in a week or so.

On another note, if you happen to be a fan of WH40k or have enjoyed my writing, I've started another fic featuring Ciaphas Cain **HERO OF THE IMPERIUM** in a crossover fic with the ME universe, with a VERY different Shepard. Be warned that it is rated M, and is femShepxLiara. No, it won't supplant Keelah Se'lai, and finishing this fic will still be my first priority.

As always, thanks for reading.


	17. Chapter 15: Love Never Dies

Chapter 15: Love Never Dies

_Tali'Zorah: Perhaps the greatest pain I felt was the first time I heard of Shepard's death. _

_Unna'Karis: I think it shocked the galaxy, their new savior had fallen, and so soon after his great triumph._

_TZ: Yes, but looking back, it was an important event in my own life that led to a great deal of growth over the next two years._

It had been just about a month since Tali had joined the crew of the Neema, and she was really starting to settle in. Quarians were naturally tight knit, and sometimes it could be difficult for a newcomer to integrate themselves. Tali hadn't had that problem, between her growing friendship with Ven and the Boyya's mothering, Tali had fit right in. She was especially happy with the relationships she had developed with the other engineers on the Neema. They had all been impressed by Tali's technical skills, and she had quickly gained their respect and just as she had predicted, was one of the ones called upon for particularly difficult repairs.

Shewas just finishing one such repair on one of the Neema's maneuvering thrusts when a call came for her from the bridge.

"Tali, it's Han. I need you on the bridge immediately. Whatever you are doing can wait."

Tali almost dropped her tool in surprise. Han had sounded rather grim.

"I'll finish this for you Tali. Go on, the captain sounded like he meant it," Ven said, taking her tool.

"Thanks, I'll be back as soon as I can," Tali said, and hurried off.

In the few weeks she had known him, Tali and Ven had become rather close. He had appointed himself as her engineering guide to the Neema, and together they crawled through ducts, scampered over the outside of the hull in vacuum, and made countless minor repairs. The more time Tali spent with Ven, the more time she wished to spend around him. He was charming and pleasant, and best of all very clever with his hands.

She hurried onto the bridge to find Han'Gerral waiting for her.

"Tali, a call from you. It's from your old shipmates."

Tali felt her breath catch. Was it Shepard calling to check up on her? He had sent her a few polite, formal messages over the extranet, and she had cautiously responded. It wasn't anything like regular correspondence, but at least they were staying in touch. His last message was a week old though, and she had started to wonder if he had forgotten her.

Instead of Shepard's image on the view screen, it was Liara and Kaiden. They looked worn and tired and Kaiden had a bandage that covered half his face. "Liara, Kaiden, what's happened? Why are you hurt?" Tali gasped.

They exchanged a nervous glance, then Liara softly said, "Tali, it's the_ Normandy_."

Tali started. The way Liara had said it... "What happened? The geth? An accident?"

Kaiden sighed. "We don't know. Whoever it was they took out the_ Normandy_ in a single pass. She's gone."

Tali felt her heart catch in her throat. "And... Shepard?"

Tears began to roll down Liara's already stained cheeks. "Listed as MIA. But..."

"But?" Tali said with hope she knew was about to be crushed.

"But Joker saw him get sucked off the ship with air streaming out of his suit. They are searching for bodies to recover now but..." Kaiden's voice trailed off and he grimaced.

"But the brass is already quietly brushing this one under the rug, and it's been 92 hours. Even with no suit breach, he would have suffocated long since. He's dead."

"No!" Someone shouted, but Tali didn't know who it was. Someone was screaming hysterically, but it was distant.

"No he can't die, he can't! I loved him, he was my captain! He can't die, he can't!" Someone near her was shouting at the top of her lungs, and Tali wished she would stop, she could barely hear Liara.

"Goddess, I am sorry Tali. He died saving Joker. His last act was to save another. You should be proud."

Tali's checks felt wet, and she was out of breath for some reason. She felt strong arms around her, and distantly heard Han's voice.

"Tali, it's alright. It's alright. I am here for you, Nar Pilgrim. You are safe." She saw Liara and Kaiden nod, and someone cut the connection.

She turned to Han, to try and tell them to bring it back so she could hear her shipmates tell her surprise, they were wrong, Shepard had been fine all along, nothing could kill the man who had defeated Saren. Instead she just clung to Han, and she realized the screams and sobs were her own.

"He's gone, oh keelah he's gone. How can he be gone?" She sobbed into her captain's chest.

"Shhh. It is alright young one. He is with the ancestors now, a brave captain who gave his last to protect his crew. As I would do for you."

They just stood there for a time, Tali didn't know how long. "Do you want to talk to anyone?" Han asked gently. "I've sent for Ven, the two of you seem close."

Tali nodded numbly. She still couldn't quite believe it. How could Shepard be dead? He had been so full of life, so strong, so seemingly invincible no matter how many geth, krogan, mercs or Reapers tried to destroy him. He had overcome them all and stood triumphant, the savior of the Citadel. But no longer. He was dead, gone before she had even known it.

The clatter of boots on the decking echoed through the passage to the bridge, and an out of breath Ven appeared. "I came as soon could," he gasped. He took one look at the grief stricken Tali and came over.

"You alright Nar Pilgrim?" he asked gently.

"No." Tali managed, before the tears started coming again.

Ven folded her into his arms, and Tali heard him assure the captain he would take care of her. She was glad he was here. Right now Tali desperately needed a friend, and Liara and Kaiden were lightyears away. Ven led her to her quarters, a small room in the cargo bay she shared with three other single quarian women. It was small, but it was home. Tali had put up a poster of the Normandy over her corner of the bed and the framed ticket stub and play pamphlet she had kept from Hamlet.

One of Tali's roommates was over in the corner sleeping, her audio processors set to filter out most noise. Quarians had to sleep in shifts; there was always work that needed doing on a ship.

She and Ven sat silently together, Tali silently hiccupping and sobbing. Most people would have felt the need to speak, but Ven just sat there, holding her. Tali was grateful for it. Finally, after almost a full hour had passed, she spoke.

"I was in love with him you know," she whispered.

Ven shifted uncomfortably. "I knew."

"How."

"The way you talked about him during your Pilgrimage story. The way you described him. Everyone knew. A couple of the other engineers poked fun at you for falling for a human, but I sent a spark through their omni tools and told them to go take a walk with no suit."

"Why do that for me?"

"Simple. He was obviously a good man. Anyone who not only willingly invites a quarian onto his crew, but respects her culture and gives her such valuable data? By the Ancestors, I would have fallen for a female alien that did that for me."

"You forgot the bit where he was strong and good looking," Tali whispered softly.

She felt Ven shake with laughter. "I never saw him, and that wouldn't have impressed me. Now, that Liara you talked about, she seemed more my type. Smart, sexy. And female, that bit's important."

Hiccupping in her own laughter, Tali felt her eyes begin to dry. "You know, there was this quarian on the citadel who thought we were together. He was mated to an asari himself."

"Oh really?" Ven asked, amused. "Did you ever think about you and?" His voice trailed away, and he coughed.

This time Tali's laughter was a bit more sincere. "Sort of. But I just didn't find her attractive in that way. I was too busy making a fool of myself over Shepard."

Ven shook his head vigorously. "No, if I know you, making a fool of yourself is the last thing you would do. I think you were just alone, and needed someone, and Shepard was there for you. Plus, he did have his own ship."

"That's gone too." Tali whispered mournfully, and they sat in silence together again.

Finally, Ven broke the silence. "Keelah, having your ship destroyed... I can't imagine that."

"Neither can I," Tali replied. "I can close my eyes and see her. I can reach out my hands and touch her, feel her pulse, see the way her power flow is set up. And for all that to be gone." She shuddered softly in horror.

"Knowing that the Normandy is gone... I feel like I lost a part of me. Like a fragment of my soul has died." Tali whimpered.

"Probably because it has. We leave a bit of ourselves on every ship we serve on, to guide those that follow in our footsteps. Every repair you make, every mark on the bulkhead to show where the power couplings lie... That's a bit of you, going into the ship. You poured out yourself on the Normandy, and to have that destroyed by the geth... It must be awful."

"I think you're right. But it wasn't the geth," Tali replied, sitting up.

"Then how?" Ven asked, puzzled. "Who else would want the Normandy dead?"

"Reapers." Tali stated.

"Oh." Ven said simply. Tali had told them all about her encounter with Sovereign, but she was certain most quarians just couldn't imagine a greater foe then the geth.

Tali decided to drop it and just sit quietly for a while. She ached all over, almost like she had felt after a firefight. The worst part was the aching where her heart, her soul was. Knowing Shepard, a man she had loved so intensely was gone... It was too much to bear. She finally pushed herself up.

"Come on Ven. Let's get back to work."

He didn't argue with her, didn't tell her she needed time to heal. He just said, "I think the aft thruster's fuel intake is clogged. We should work on that for a while."

As they walked aft Tali sensed the sympathetic looks and murmurs of concern that followed her and Ven. There were no secrets from your shipmates, and doubtless everyone from the oldest grandmother to the youngest child already knew of the tragedy that had befallen Tali. She was grateful most of them were limiting their involvement to looks and murmurs though.

As it turned out, the aft fuel intake was not clogged, it was downright backed up. The helium 3 fuel was supercooled before it was fed into the reactor, and special equipment was needed to work in such conditions. Tali and Ven worked at cleaning the intake for hours, then had to make several emergency repairs and replacements from damaged caused by the pressure of the built up fuel.

By the time they were done, Tali was exhausted enough that her emotional anguish was only a dull throb instead of a continuously burning pain. It still ached, and every so often she wept silently at the thought of Shepard's face, but it wasn't as bad as it could be, she told herself. Shepard had been a religious type, so perhaps, if he was right, he was with his ancestors in peace now.

Boyya had taken it upon herself to bring Tali and Ven dinner, and she murmured platitudes and comfort as Tali sat and ate, but Tali was too worn out physically and emotionally to really pay attention to what Boyya was saying, instead just letting the motherly quarian's soothing voice wash over her.

After the meal, she excused herself and walked up to the bridge, where Han was still working.

"Captain, permission to transmit a few messages." Tali said, carefully saluting.

Gravely, Han returned her salute. "Permission granted, Tali'Zorah."

Tali nodded her thanks, and walked over to a consol. She hadn't contacted Hannah Shepard in months, but she felt compelled to extend her sympathies to the woman who had been so kind to her. She dialed up the _Kilimanjaro's _comm channel.

"This is the SSV _Kilimanjaro_." A brisk human voice said.

Taking a deep breath, Tali said. "This is Tali'Zorah vas Neema, formerly of the crew of the SSV Normandy. I wish to contact or leave a message for Captain Hannah Shepard."

There was a few moments silence, then, "You served with the skipper's son." It wasn't a question.

"Yes. I... I just heard about the _Normandy_." Tali said, grief filling her voice.

"One moment ma'am," the operator said, and there were a few minutes of silence.

Tali tried to think of what she should say, but she couldn't imagine anything anyone could say would ease her pain, and she figured it would be the same for Hannah.

"Tali?" Hannah's voice said from the terminal.

"I'm here, Hannah." Tali replied softly.

There was silence for a few moments, then Tali said quietly. "I just heard about... about..." That was all she could manage.

"Yeah." Hannah's voice cracked with emotion.

"Hannah, I don't... I don't know how it must feel to lose your son." Tali managed. "But... But I loved him too. He was a wonderful man. He was my captain, and more. I don't... I don't know what else to say."

The channel was silent, and Tali thought she heard the sound of soft sobbing. She didn't know if it was her or Hannah.

"I knew you were a special girl." Hannah's voice rasped. "Shepard cared a lot about you. He told me when you got accepted onto the crew of the Neema. He was so proud of you, so happy for you."

Keelah, that sort of love for others must have been genetic. Even in her own pain, Hannah was reaching out for Tali, offering Tali comfort when Hannah surely had none of her own.

"Thank you," Tali said, weeping openly again. "I know he loved you too so much Hannah, and he was a great captain.. You must have been proud. I was told he gave his life for his shipmates, as a great captain would."

Now both women wailed over the comm, sharing the raw grief with one another, and somehow making the burden easier to bear, despite the physical distance between them.

"I am Tali, oh I am. It hurts, with a pain I pray you never know, the pain of knowing your child is dead, and that there was nothing you could have done to save him. But I am so proud of him. Oh so very proud. He died like a man, with his boots on, saving others, just as he would have wanted to."

"And..." Hannah's voice cracked again, and she paused, hiccupping, "And I know I will see him again. You know, the last time I saw him I went to Mass with him? First time I ever went, but he was always talking about it. I said my sinner's prayer, and somehow it makes me glad that I shared that with my son before he died. "

Tali closed her eyes. It must have given Shepard a measure of peace to know his mother shared his faith, and whatever the human afterlife was like, thinking your ancestors and loved ones waited there for you had to be a comfort to Shepard's grieving mother.

"I am glad, Hannah. I know that must have meant a lot to Shepard." Tali said quietly.

They shared a few stories then, stories of Shepard's heroism, his bravery, his love. Silly stories, funny anecdotes about his quirks, like his horrible driving or wry sense of humor. But before long, Hannah had to go, a captain's duties never done.

Tali signed off, and composed brief extra-net messages to Garrus and Wrex. Garrus had left C-Sec a few weeks before and not given any sort of forwarding address, and Wrex was on Tuchanka somewhere, and likely would not receive Tali's message for weeks, if he ever did. She sent a message to Kaiden, Joker, Adams, and Liara, too drained to want to speak with them but needing to reach out to her shipmates anyway.

She thanked captain Han as she left the bridge, then felt his hand on her arm. "Tali... I want you to know that you are not alone. Any of us, any of your new shipmates, are here for you. We have all lost shipmates, but to have your old ship destroyed and its captain killed... Well, that's a nightmare none of us want to have to go through."

Tali nodded, her throat too constricted to speak, and she pulled away and left the bridge. Ven was ostensibly working at a duct nearby, but he slammed it shut and fell into step with Tali. To her surprise, he reached out a hand toward, her, and she took it, giving it a squeeze. They walked in silence, hand in hand, to Tali's tiny apartment.

Ven cleared his throat when they reached the fabric that denoted the barrier of her threshold. "Tali, I want you to know, I'm here for you, no matter what."

Tali embraced him, and they stood in silence for a few moments. "Thank you, Ven. That means a great deal to me."

Ven tightened the embrace for a moment, then they separated. "Keelah Se'lai Tali. Captain Shepard's spirit will watch over you always, I am certain."

With those comforting words, they parted, and Tali felt a small flame of love kindled to replace the mere lust she had felt for Ven before. The pain of losing Shepard was still too recent, too fresh for romance to begin, but there was a fondness and strength there, and despite the pain she felt herself smile. Shepard had always believed in love, and she knew that he would want her to be happy. There had never really been anything there between them, so there was no real betrayal of his memory. Indeed, she knew it would honor Shepard if she moved on with her life and found new love than if she stayed bitter and wrapped up in herself. She turned her faceplate's light filter on, and her dreams that night were pleasant memories of happy times, and when she took Ven's hand in hers in the dream, Shepard smiled at her. Life would continue.

_Unna'Karis: Ven'Orra is remembered as another great hero of the quarian people._

_Tali'Zorah: Yes, he is. And he was a special person. Over the next few weeks, our romance blossomed. _

_UK: So soon after Shepard's death?  
TZ: As I said, I think if Shepard had been truly dead, he would have wanted me to continue living. He loved love, and he would have wanted that for me. _

Authors note:

Please hold all comments about what a horrible match for Tali Ven is until after you read the next chapter.


	18. Chapter 16: Hell's Dogs

Chapter 16: Hell's Dogs

_Unna'Karis: You had a long history with Cerberus._

_Tali'Zorah: Yes, we clashed while I was aboard the first_ Normandy. _They were fanatics even then._

_UK: And you were present when they attacked the _Ideena.

_TZ: Yes. A tragic day for the fleet, but one that galvanized us. _

Today was a happy day for Tali. Ven had invited her as his guest to his younger sister's pilgrimage send off on the _Ideena_, and it was more or less their first "date." It had been just about a month since she had received word of the Normandy's destruction and Shepard's death, and Tali was no longer crying herself to sleep at night. She still had occasional nightmares of Shepard choking to death in space or of the _Neema_ exploding as a Reaper ripped it apart, but they were becoming less frequent. All in all, Tali thought she was doing rather well, as her relationship with Ven was proving.

They had grown close, Tali had been grieving and needed someone to lean on, and Ven had been more than happy to be that person. Tali was fairly certain that Ven felt slightly guilty, and probably felt that he was horning in on a dead man's turf. For her part, Tali felt a little guilty as well, but they were taking things slowly. They hadn't done much more then hold hand's and take their meals together, though for a quarian that was almost the limit of what was safe. The only other safe option amounted to dry humping and synchronized masturbating, and for some reason that made Tali vaguely uncomfortable. She wanted to be with someone she trusted enough, who she cared about enough, to risk the suit link. Ven and her were not quite there yet, but they were moving in that direction.

Going to Ven's birth ship was a rather large step in that direction. It was more than just meeting his surviving parent, going to a birth ship was like going to a very small town where Ven was everyone's little brother, older brother, or favorite cousin. Literally everyone there knew Ven, and while like any family they did not necessarily like Ven or get along with him, like any good family, Ven was family before everything else. Petty differences did not matter when it came down to it. Tali would be measured, weighed, and judged as a potential future family member as well.

Quarian's had one of the lowest divorce rates in the galaxy, in part because of the close, cramped quarters of the ship that made divorces hard to manage at best, impossible at worst, and partly because of the level of trust and respect necessary before a suit link. That meant that for a quarian, to death till us part (though they phrased it slightly differently) was quite literal, in part because the symbiotic nature of quarian biology meant that living without their partners flora and fauna could be quite difficult.

So as the shuttle flew over, Tali felt a pang of nervousness and shuffled her feet a bit. Ven noticed and put his arm around her.

"Don't worry about it Tali. I'm sure everyone will love you." He comforted.

Tali sighed. "I know. I've just..."

Ven started. "You mean to tell me you never had a serious boyfriend before?"

That made her laugh. "Ven, I've never HAD a boyfriend before."

"What? You? How could you never have had a boyfriend before? You're smart, beautiful-"

"And the daughter of one of the most powerful, over protective men in the entire fleet." Tali wryly remarked.

That made Ven cough. "Ah. Yes. That would explain the threatening glares I got from your father the last time he came aboard to confer with captain Han.

Tali snuggled a bit closer to Ven. "But you held firm."

Snorting, Ven put his arm around Tali. "It would take more than an angry old man like that to scare me off the most beautiful girl in the fleet."

The rest of the shuttle ride was pleasantly spent in each other's company, before the shuttle docked and they made their way to the unloading bay.

They were greeted by the ship's captain, Ysin'Mal vas Ideena.

"Who seeks entrance to our home." The captain growled, and Tali swallowed.

"Ven'Orra vas Neema nar Ideena." Ven stated.

"Tali'Zorah vas Neema" Tali said, trying to keep her nervousness out of her voice.

"You are known to me," Ysin allowed, "But I cannot see your faces. How can I know it is you?"

"Because if you don't let me aboard captain, I'm not going to tell Pilli how to restock the algae filters in a few months." Ven casually said.

"Is that a threat boy?" Ysin growled.

"Maybe." Ven said, his voice full of humor.

Holding her breath, Tali looked back and forth between the two. Was there bad blood between them? It could happen, occasionally pilgrims were "asked" to leave early by their captain when they caused trouble or just didn't get along.

"Well damn. I need those algae filters changed. Guess I better let you on board kiddo." Ysin said, then slapped Ven on the back and clasped arms with him enthusiastically.

"And you got that old wardog Rael's daughter? Ancestor's boy, I send you off thinking I finally got trouble out of my hair and then you bring her?"

"Um, I'm not here to cause problems for you captain, I think my father actually kind of likes Ven..." Tali nervously interjected. Ysin was firmly in Zaal'Koris's camp, and a rather vocal foe of her father in the captain's assembly.

"It's true captain. He spit my head back out after he bit it off." Ven said helpfully.

That made Ysin roar with laughter. "Well then, we mustn't keep your sister waiting. Come aboard you two, though I have to warn you, that other ship you see dock is quarantined. There's aliens aboard."

Tali curiously studied the other ship, wondering what manner of aliens were there. It looked like another salvaged scouting vessel and could have belong to any ship in the fleet.

"Your timing is good Ven, I just got back from a meeting with the admiral's might have found something to help turn opinion."

"Talk politics later Ysin, right now I want to see my sister." Ven said, winking at Tali.

The captain grumbled his assent and the two rushed off to Ven's family quarters.

While Tali couldn't help but dislike Captain Ysin's politics, she found herself liking the man personally. He was charming and funny in person, and he did seem to approve of her, in a rough and gruff manner. She put those thoughts on hold as they came to Ven's family room.

Before Ven could ask for permission to enter, a young quarian girl hurtled through the curtain and tackled Ven. "Big brother!"

"Oof!" Ven grunted, "Take it easy sis, I think you breached my suit!" Ven complained.

She squealed a bit and turned to Tali. "Oh Ven, who's your new girlfriend?"

Laughing, Tali bowed slightly. "Tali'Zorah vas Neema, Leewi'Orra nar Ideena. It is good to meet you."

Leewi gasped and squeeked, "Your that bosh'tet Rael'Zorah's daughter?"

Ven winced and Tali could hear the embarrassment in his voice as he hissed, "Leewi!"

"Oh don't worry about it Ven," Tali laughed, "I think my father is a bit of a bosh'tet most days myself."

"Well then you'll fight right in with us, were all Korittes here." Leewi declared, then glared over at Ven. "Except a certain someone."

Ven sighed. "I'm not here to discuss politics. I'm here to celebrate my sister's pilgrimage."

"Oh Ven you have to see my new suit, its so awesome! Come on, mom's inside with it." Leewi darted back inside, and Tali glanced over at Ven.

He rolled his glowing eyes. "Family."

Tali smiled and took his hand. "Family."

They stepped inside where a Leewi was chattering to a quiet quarian women who continued to set the last few preparations in place as her frantic daughter scampered about the tight quarters babbling about Ven, Tali, her pilgrimage and a thousand other things.

She turned from her task as Tali and Ven came inside. "My son, it is good to see you. And I see you've brought a beautiful girl home with you."

She calmly stepped forward and embraced first her son, then Tali. "Keelah, you have grown my son! You're a man now."

"Thanks mom, I-"

Loud sirens began to blare and red lights flashed.

**"GENERAL QUARTERS ALL HANDS BORDERS HAVE BREACHED THE SHIP. ALL HANDS TO BATTLESTATIONS ALIEN INTRUDERS HAVE BREACHED THE CARGO BAY. ALL HANDS GENERAL QUARTERS, THIS IS NOT A DRILL: REPEAT THIS NOT A DRILL. ALL HANDS TO CARGO BAY TO REPEAL INTRUDERS."**

Leewi shrieked and clung to her mother, Ven started. Tali drew her combat knife and activated her omni tool. She swore, she had left her shotgun back on the_ Neema_, she hadn't thought she would need it on another ship in the migrant fleet. That was a mistake she wouldn't make again if she lived through this.

"Where's your ships armory?" Tali demanded.

"What?" Leewi squeaked, "We have to get somewhere safe, the captain and his marines will take care of this."

"Leewi, you and mother get to the aft engine room, that's your fall back point. The nearest armory is this way, Tali." Ven said, starting for the door.

"But Ven-" Leewi began, but Tali cut her off.

"Get to safety Leewi. I've had more combat experience then I care to think about and Ven and I both learned how to take care of ourselves on our pilgrimage."

"I am coming as well. This is my home." Ven's mother said quietly, drawing a small, ancient pistol from an alcove.

"Then I am coming as well." Leewi said, her voice shaky.

Tali nodded. "Good, let's go."

They hurried to one of the armory's, where the weapons were being distributed. Echoes of battle came to them from the cargo bay, and Tali knew time was short.

"I need a shotgun." She told the marine handing out guns. He hesitated for a moment, and Tali growled. "I served on the SSV Normandy. I probably have more close quarters combat experience than anyone else here. And I was trained by a krogan battlemaster."

"Keelah." The marines said, and reached over and handed Tali a much nicer weapon then the clunky old assault rifle he had been reaching for.

"Thank you."

Ven got the assault rifle, and Leewi was handed a medical kit. That was good, she was green and playing medic was better than trying to play soldier.

They hurried to the sounds of battle. Wounded, elderly and young quarians streamed away from the sounds of fighting, and Tali felt rage building up inside of her. Whoever was responsible for this needed to die.

"They're coming!" A quarian screamed, and a squad of heavily armed humans in black uniforms came around the corner.

"Cerberus!" Tali yelled in surprise, then started running the hacks she had already developed against the human terrorist group.

She shot the nearest one in the face and overloaded his shields at the same time, and the human slumped as his brains splattered on the bulkhead behind him.

Tali surged forward and brought her shotgun's stock down on the head of the next operative with all her might, and he sunk to the floor. Ven and his mother fired at the remaining operatives, who retreated down the passage.

"They're flanking us!" Another quarian screamed in terror, and Tali snarled as she was forced to retreat back from her small victory to another passage. She lay down suppressing fire and tossed several small concessive devices. She didn't dare use actual explosives, a hull breach could kill hundreds.

"Fall back and regroup!" Tali called, taking charge.

"You two, drag the wounded back. You three provide covering fire as we fall back. You and you, cover our flank, we don't want to get caught in the cross fire!"

The quarians didn't question her, even though she was a stranger on a strange ship, she was still one of them. They just called their assent and went about their tasks.

"Keelah, this is bad." Tali muttered as she prepared a few more hacking programs to try and slow down the Cerberous troops.

"You know these guys?" Ven asked, slipping a new thermal clip into his pistol.

"Yes. I fought them a few times when I was with Shepard on the Normandy." That came out without pain, battle pushed all other emotions to the back of her mind. "Human fanatics, but they are black ops, well trained. This is going to be a slaughter if they get past one of our lines, and they are pushing for the dormitories."

"What can we do?" Ven looked to Tali for orders, as ready as the others to listen to her commands.

"Keep falling back. Send a runner, I want barricades put up at the next cross way so we can fight a delaying action while we radio the rest of the fleet for back up. Cerberus can't get in among the elders and children, the noncombatants won't stand a chance."

"Understood." Ven turned to some of the others and shouted orders, who nodded and ran off to try and find materials to build some sort of cover for the quarians.

"Here they come." Ven's mother said calmly, firing her pistol as she spoke.

This time Cerberus knew they were facing actual opposition, and started off with some flash bangs and smoke grenades. While Tali's beleaguered group was still recovering from the sensory overload the came through the passage two by two, providing covering fire for each other as they advanced.

"We have to buy some time!" Tali shouted, and she threw a flash bang of her own as she charged forward.

She was grateful that she had never uninstalled the advanced shields from her suit, as they scattered fire from the commandos. She blasted one commando in the chest and hacked the other's suit servos so that he froze up an fell to the ground. Ven was at her side, and he finished off the fallen commando with a shot to the head.

For a moment, the ferocity of Tali and Ven's assault checked the Cerberus advance, but soon they had to duck to the side as withering fire focused on them. Tali blasted back with her shot gun and hacked another operatives shields, but soon she had to take cover herself as her own shields drained from hail of slugs.

She heard a metallic thump, and her blood ran cold as a grenade rolled to a stop right by her. She had no time to react, no time at all, and it felt like the world froze as she started at the grenade that would surely shred her now unshielded body. Suddenly she felt herself thrown back, and Ven placed himself between Tali and the blast.

There was a flash, and Tali felt pain in her arms and legs as shrapnel bit into her now unshielded armor. Ven collapsed into her arms, and for a moment Tali thought he was alright. Then she saw his back. His suit had been ripped away, and Ven's pale bare flesh had been exposed. It was shredded into meaty chunks, and blacked flesh was wet with red quarian blood. Tali knew he was dead, or if he was not now his immune system would shortly be overwhelmed and he would die. Now however was not the time to morn.

"DIE YOU BOSH'TET SCUM!" Tali roared, jumping out of her hidey hole and unleashing every program she had as well as blasting away until her thermal clip fell to the floor, glowing red with heat.

The Cerberus troopers feel back at the ferocity of her assault, but Tali felt herself slowing down and didn't pursue. Her own suit was breached, and though it had sealed itself she knew she was going into anaphylactic shock from her bodies reactions to all the foreign contaminates. Shoe of which, she realized, was Ven's blood. They had linked their suits before he died after all.

She felt herself sinking to the floor, and heard distant voices as she was dragged back. She gave in to the pain and drugs flowing in her blood, and darkness came.

Tali awoke with a warm light on her.

"Tali?" A worried voice said, and her father's face appeared in her line of vision.

"Daddy?" She whispered, pain and soreness lingered, and she felt as though she had been dragged for miles on a road of glass shards.

"Good, you're awake. The doctor said you were on the mend, but I was worried." Her father said, gripping her hand in his own. His touch was strong, but gentle at the same time.

"Cerberus." Tali slurred, trying to think clearly, "The fleet is in danger."

Rael shook his head. "No, we're safe. But, your shipmate..." He trailed off and looked away.

"I know. He died to save me." Tali said, and her heart should have wrenched at that. But she was in too much pain, and the loss of Shepard and the Normandy was still to fresh. She was numb now. The pain would come later.

"Oh." Her father was silent for a moment. He seemed to be struggling to say something, and Tali waited. "He... Seemed like a good man. He will be remembered as a hero. The two of you saved scores of our people. He died in service to the fleet."

Tali nodded and stayed silent. Praising someone's devotion to the fleet was the highest praise her father could give.

"What are we going to do about Cerberus?" She finally asked.

Her father shrugged. "Not much we can do. We don't know of any of their bases, no government is going to cooperate with us in locating them, and they are already listed as terrorists by the council. All we can do is stay vigilant."

Tali reluctantly nodded. Even with the SPECTRE's resources, Shepard had had a hard time tracking down Cerberus, and eventually all their leads had dead ended.

Her father rose and started pacing. "You've been under for a few days. And things have changed. We cannot stay insular, we have to have a homeworld. No longer is wandering the stars enough."

That was both good news and bad. The captain's council had been deadlocked for a long time, and action had been long delayed.

Her father continued. "Koris's camp has the most captains, and Han and I have thrown in our support for now. We're looking for a new homeworld, a planet we could settle without having to take it from the geth. Somewhere to build up our strength so we can launch a strike on Rannoch."

That put a pang in Tali's heart. She had always wanted to resettle the homeworld, and leaving the geth out there... But if that was the will of the fleet she would do what she could to help.

"What do you need me to do."

Zael turned to her, and pug a hand on her shoulder. "You are a hero now Tali. The people on the Ideena you saved were outspoken on your help in saving them. I want you to spear head some expeditions to planets we used to hold, see if they geth have any weak points where we could take one of our former colonies back from them with out to much trouble."

Tali nodded and closed her eyes. "When do I start?"

"Later. Heal for now, in the coming weeks we will know more. And Tali?"

"Yes father?"

"I am so very proud of you. Keelah Se'lai, my daughter."

"Keelah Se'lai."

_Unna'Karis: It really took such a tragedy to get things moving?_

_Tali'Zorah: Yes, and it would set our people on a path we would not be swayed from._

Authors Note:

Well, now you know why I told you to hold off on commenting on Tali/Ven And yes, some of you "called" it. I thought I telegraphed this pretty well though with Ven's ship being the Ideena and mentioning he would be there at the exact time of the attack. I was a bit sad to kill off Ven, but he was always meant to die at this point in the story.

Just as a warning, I will be updating with an Interim after a while, then we will time skip about 2 years. Chapters from here on out may be a bit more sporadic as I have hit the end of my buffer.

As always, thanks for reading!


	19. Interim 2

Interim

Red rays filtered through Tali's window, and she decided to take a chance. Unna'Karis was gone for the day, and wouldn't be back for several more days, so she had time to recover from any minor illnesses. Stepping through her decon chamber, Tali stepped outside and set her hands on the railing as the light faded. She felt a tear in her eye as she looked at the blood red rocks. So many had not made it this far.

She thought of her father, dead long before he could set foot on Ranoch, a doomed crusader. She thought of Ven, dead saving her life. She had take a long time to mourn him, and though the wound was now long healed, she still felt his death and the fact he had never touched down on Rannoch. In some ways, Ven was her first childish love, and though he had died before it ever blossomed into more, it still made her heart ache.

She heard a ground car pull up, and confused, walked to the front of her house.

"Hey, mom." A deep male quarian voice said. "Hope you don't mind."

"Grandma!" Cried a small quarian girl. "You don't have your suit on, you could get sick."

Tali smiled. "I never mind having my oldest son come to visit me." She reached down and hugged her grandaughter, revealing in the touch of bare skin that she still thought was Shepard's greatest gift to the quarian people. They still had to wear masks and receive regular medical treatment, but it was no longer life threatening to touch a family member.

"It is good to see you, Oola," Tali said softly, hugging her granddaughter closely.

"Daddy said Uncle Zaal called and said you were lonely." The small quarian girl explained solemnly, her large eyes glowing seriously. She was about 4 years old, and was Tali's only grandchild. She had hope for many more, but for now her eldest son Qeldi was the only one married with children.

Tali stood and embraced her son. "You look so handsome today Qeldi, it is good to see your face." She meant it, Qeldi had gone barefaced as well today.

A suited quarian woman gravid with child, waddled up the steps and Tali embraced her as well.

"Puli, you look well!" Tali exclaimed, then put her hands on Puli's belly. "Soon?"

Though she could not see her daughter in law's face, Tali could sense Puli's smile.

Sniffing their air, Tali eyed a bag Oola carried in his hands. "Did you bring me dinner?"

He laughed and held up the bag. "Of course. I couldn't expect my lady mother to cook for us, so I brought over my own cooking."

That made Tali laugh as well. Oola owned a chain of restaurants, but he was a horrible cook himself. While he was an excellent business manager, Tali was fairly certain her son could burn water if he tried.

"Well, no matter which of your employee's made it, it smells wonderful. Come in, all of you, I'll set the table." Tali led them inside.

"What brings you all out here? I thought you were on the other side of the planet, opening a new restaurant at the new spaceport." Tali said as she got out plates and silverware.

Oola pulled out a chair for Puli, who sat down with a slight "Oof."

"We were, but I got a call from Uncle Zaal. He said Unna was getting your autobiography from you finally. I decided dinner was the best way to celebrate." Oola explained.

Tali handed silverware to Qeldi, who was "helping" as much as any four year old can. "Oh? I thought you would be tired of all the stories your old mother told you."

When Oola was younger, he had complained that his parents were stuck in the past, and obsessed with old stories no one wanted to hear.

A nostalgic grin crept over Oola's face. "Well, you know, it took me a few years but I finally figured out I didn't mind hearing them so much after all."

"Oh?" Tali said, coming to sit down with the rest of them.

"Yes." Oola said, his eyes twinkly. "I've learned that not every tradition you and dad tried to beat into us was so bad after all."

With that, he took his wife and daughter's hand, and led them all in a short blessing for the meal. When it was finished, Tali felt a smile creeping over her face.

"Even that one?" She teased.

"Even that one." Oola said seriously.

"We've been attending religious services." Puli said, turning to nod to Tali.

"Oh? Not the cult I hope?" Tali asked.

Puli snorted. "Your son has better sense then that I hope, and if he doesn't, I'll beat it into him."

"Daddy says the cult is a bunch of crazies and they disgrace the Shepard's name." Qeldi declared, with the seriousness only a child can lend their statements.

Tali sighed. In the years following the end of the Reaper War, various cults revering Shepard as an aspect of the divine, or in some cases, the divine itself, had sprung up. Tali knew for a fact that Shepard would never have approved of them, but the Cult of the Shepard continued to grow, despite her and several other members of Shepard's crew speaking out against it.

"Let's not ruin our evening by talking about that." Tali chided, and she steered the conversation toward happier things. Before long though, Qeldi was starting to throw sleepy temper tantrums, and it was time for Tali's family to go.

"It was good to see you. All of you." Tali said, kissing her tired granddaughters face despite her protests and hugging Puli and Oola.

"It was good to see you too mom. Make sure I get a copy of that autobiography, I'm sure there's stories in it you never told me." Oola said.

"Oh, probably. My old mind does tend to wander and drone on though." Tali chided.

Oola just laughed. "I was young and mistaken." He picked up his sleepy daughter. "Having children of my own made me realize just how much I appreciate my own parents."

Pride and warmth filled Tali's heart, and she hugged her son and granddaughter again. "Thank you. Perhaps now you know how much your saying that means to me."

"I do mom."

Tali waved as the groundcar sped off into the darkness, then went back inside. She had to spend almost an hour at her medical station treating low grade infections and allergic reactions, but it was worth it to have been able to touch her son and granddaughter's bare skin. Since she was pregnant, Puli had to take extra precautions and wore a suit at all times until the baby was born. She didn't need to worry as much as Tali's mother had when Tali was born, but birth was a traumatic event, and until the baby had been born, the risk was too great. Prenatal immuno boosters were administered, but until the baby was old enough for implants it was still at risk.

After her own medical program's Tali said her evening prayers and climbed into her bed.

"Thank you, Shepard." She whispered. "You gave us a happy ending after all."

_Authors note: To make up for all the sad chapters we just came through, and all the sad chapters yet to come, I thought we all needed a bit of a break. There will be more bright spots along the way though, Tali's life is not one filled with despair, but in the pain, hope. _


	20. Chapter 17: Wandering Ones

Chapter 17: Wandering Ones

_Unna'Karis: What was it like, trying to find a new homeworld?_

_Tali'Zorah: Frustrating. Our biology is so delicate, so unique that I began to despair. _

_UK: You were not the only one._

_TZ: No, but I almost wish we had found one. It would have saved many a great deal of pain and death. _

"Do think this planet is the one?" Leewi asked, starting out the view port.

"Sure. Just like the last ten were." Prazza snorted, his tone mocking.

Leewi flinched, looking away from the smug male quarian.

"Knock it off Prazza. We will find one." Tali ordered, glaring at Prazza. He was a trouble maker, pure and simple, and he had nearly gotten Tali and her team killed on several occasions.

Prazza grumbled something inaudible, but he left Leewi alone.

Tali looked out the viewport at the planet below them. Two years. It had been nearly two years since Cerberus's attack on the fleet, two years of searching for a new homeworld. But now the admirals were growing desperate. No matter how many worlds they scouted, no matter how many stars they explored, there was always some reason the world was not suitable for quarian habitation. Whether it was an inhospitable atmosphere, a lavo-based biosphere, deadly diseases or simple proximity to a race that had made their dislike of quarian neighbors all too clear, the results were always the same: Move on to the next planet.

Glancing around at her team, Tali could tell that while not all of them liked Prazza's attitude, many of them shared his sentiments. Truth be told, so did Tali. This search was increasingly feeling like a fool's errand, and the sad fact was the quarians were running out of time. The fleet was growing faster than the admirals had planned for, and with resources strained to the limits to support a colonization effort that was becoming increasingly fruitless; the quarians were almost out of options.

"One minute to touch down," their pilot said over the comms.

"Gear check." Tali ordered.

Instead of the immediate compliance she would have gotten six months ago, she only got grumbling. A few grudgingly got out their weapons and tools and gave them a once over, but most just poked their bags. Tali tried not to grind her teeth and thought of what Shepard would have done in this situation. That thought still made her ache, old wounds that should have healed but never had. But she knew Shepard would have found a way to lighten the mood, give an inspiring word or two and encourage everyone. Tali didn't feel like half the leader her captain had been. He had never had to deal with a team that was about as loyal to him as a rotten nutrient pack.

Only Leewi was still always on the ball, always there for Tali. The young quarian had completed her pilgrimage after Ven's sacrifice and joined the crew of the _Neema _to be with her idol. At first Tali had thought Leewi would blame her for Ven's death, but the truth was Leewi blamed herself. Leewi blamed herself Ven for coming to the _Ideena _for her pilgrimage send off, and though Tali had tried to help Leewi see truth, she hadn't really had her heart in it.

After all this time, Tali still felt numb. Every time someone made a pass at her, Tali shot them down in flames or ignored them. She couldn't bear the thought of losing someone again, and she hadn't gotten over Ven's or Shepard's deaths. She still thought of the splash of Ven's blood that had gotten inside of her suit as her first real suit link with someone, but it hadn't really been anything more than an accidental wound. S

The shuttle shuddered gently as it touched down and Tali ordered everyone out. "Keep an eye out, people, we don't need any casualties on this one."

"Not anyone on this stupid planet anyway," someone grumbled. Tali looked around trying to locate whoever it was, but with no success.

"Prazza, take Rill and Obaa on the shuttle. Start on those atmospheric samples. Wuul and Kerila, you get some soil samples, test for suitable agriculture. Leewi, you're with me, we need to do some cell cultures. The rest of you, scout the area. We don't have any records of activity on this planet, but I want a secure perimeter while we run the tests."

Again, the grumbles. Tali felt a low grade migraine coming on. She was becoming increasingly convinced that she was going to have a full blown mutiny on her hands, and when it happened, she was going to lose people.

"Come on Leewi, let's get the equipment set up," Tali ordered, and together they began to assemble the small lab that would allow them to test quarian cell reactions to contaminates from the air and soil teams.

"Tali, do you think we can find a new homeworld?" Leewi asked quietly.

Her question hurt Tali. Of all the other quarians on this mission, Leewi was by far the most loyal and cooperative. If even she was beginning to doubt the mission's success, there was little hope for everyone else.

Tali tried to sound confident. "Of course, Leewie. There are a million worlds to search though, and even with a hundred teams it will take a while."

Her words rung hollow though, and Tali knew it.

"Oh." Leewi said, averting her eyes from Tali.

Tali walked over and knelt beside her as they worked. "I know it seems hopeless Leewi. But we will find a home. Or take back our own."

Nodding, Leewi looked over at Tali. "I know, but Prazza and the others... It's easy to get discouraged."

"Don't let them get you down Leewi, we can do this."

They worked silently for a while after that, and Tali tried to think of what Shepard would do. She was no good at inspiring followers like he was. If only her team was a machine with a leaky part or a broken converter she could fix it in a heartbeat and have it working like new. But Prazza was like that grinding gear that wore down the whole team. At first he had been willing enough to follow Tali's lead, but as time went on he began to blame her for the repeated failures. It wasn't overt or in her face at first, but it had been there. That would have been the time to stamp down on it, but due to her own mounting frustrations with the direction the admiralty board had taken and her own reclusiveness since Ven had been killed, over time Prazza's attitude had poisoned the entire team.

They finished setting up and Tali contacted the other teams. "The labs set up, bring in your samples. How's the perimeter looking?"

"Empty. Like our chances of success," someone reported, but Tali couldn't identify who had made the call. She ground her teeth and ignored it.

First back was Prazza's team. Tali turned to Rill and asked, "How does it look?"

She knew bypassing Prazza's seniority would irk him, but she wanted to slap him down, and Rill had a much happier outlook on life.

"Good from our initial tests, gas mix looks good." Rill reservedly told Tali. "But I don't like the amount of particulates, could be problematic."

That was a bad sign, but not an insurmountable problem. "Let's have the machines run it through, see if there's anything hazardous." Tali ordered.

Prazza stomped over to a machine and began to input their samples and readings.

The soil team showed up and Tali was happy to see quite a few samples of native plant life. The planet looked pretty barren from orbit.

"Great news Tali, dextro based plants, native, too from what we can tell!" Wuul exulted.

"Probably all poisonous," Prazza grumbled.

Ignoring Prazza, Tali smiled at Wuul and gave him a hip bump, a quarian gesture of excitement. "That's great! Start running those tests, they might even be edible!"

Wuul nodded enthusiastically and hurried off. Rubbing her hands, Tali felt a surge of hope. Dextro based biospheres were rarer then lavo-based spheres, the most common type of amino-base for life in the galaxy. No one really knew why, but it had made the search much more difficult.

The news that life on the planet was dextro based caused a ripple of excitement through the team, it had been almost ten missions since they had found a planet with a dextro biosphere, and that combined with the good gas mix had everyone's hopes up.

"Bosh'tet!" shouted Rill, and Tali hurried over.

"What's wrong?" Tali anxiously asked.

"Those particulates. They're all atmospheric lifeforms. It explains the gas mix with the relative lack of plant life." Rill explained.

Tali's heart sunk. "How bad?"

"Look at your cell samples." Rill stepped aside, and Tali looked at the readings. She sucked in her breath, all the cells were being broken down and consumed by the tiny life forms . The tiny natives were easily overcoming the meager defenses of the quarian immune system and literally eating the cultures alive, especially the delicate lung tissue.

"That's not good."

"Let me see." Prazza demanded, and almost shoved Tali out of his way.

"Hmph. Another waste of our time." He snarled.

Tali was about to reprimand him when the pilot in orbit contacted her.

"Ma'am, we just got a distress call from that human colony two systems over."

"What? Any details?" Tali demanded.

"Yeah, looks like it's from Veetor'Nara. According to my records, he took his pilgrimage on Freedom's Progress, that's the name of the colony."

Inwardly, Tali groaned. Veetor had also been born on the Rayya, Tali's own birth ship. As a child, Veetor had been withdrawn, very odd for the close knit quarians. He had constantly needed help as well, he never got along well with his peers and though he was almost as techinically gifted as Tali, Veetor's long list of phobia's kept him from doing much of anything really useful.

"I know Veetor. He probably just ran out of his medication or something."

"It's more serious then that ma'am. A few hours ago I picked up a distress call from the humans there, but it cut out almost immediately afterwards and I ignored it as a fluke or prank. And Veetor sounds sick. Listen."

Veetor's voice filtered over her comm. "Monsters, monsters everywhere. Have to come. Have to help. Gone, all gone, the monsters took them. Not safe, the swarms are everywhere. They find you, they take you. The monsters, they took them all. Not safe-" The pilot cut the stream.

"It continues on like that. I would say it's incoherent babbling, but combined with the general distress call earlier and the reports of attacks on human colonies... Well, I think it might be worth a look ma'am."

Tali glanced around. Prazza was arguing with no one in particular again. The mission was already an obvious failure and she didn't feel like taking his harassment anymore.

"Alright. We are coming up." She turned to her team. "Pack it up people, we have a pilgrim in distress, I'm making that our priority."

"Who?" Prazza demanded. Tali sighed. He was from the Rayya as well and probably knew Veetor.

"Veetor'Nara. The colony he was at sent out a general distress call and Veetor sent one as well. Sounds like some sort of attack."

"Wait, Crazy Veetor? Veetor-no-mates? Are you serious?"

That was enough. In one rapid motion, Tali swept Prazza's legs out from under him then pinned him with her foot.

"I've had just about enough from you Prazza. The whining about the mission I can understand. We're all frustrated with the results. But complaining about helping a fellow quarian? I didn't think even you would sink that low."

Panting as he lay on the ground, Prazza's eyes darted around, looking for support. All he got were looks of disgust. Even the most disgruntled of the others didn't like the thought of leaving one of their own when he was in trouble.

"Fine. You're the commander."

Tali pressed down harder, enough to make Prazza grunt. "One more time Prazza. One more act of insubordination and I'll hall you before the assembly for sedition and mutiny."

Prazza's eyes glowed behind his mask with hatred, but he grated out, "Yes ma'am." He managed to make it insulting, but Tali let him up and hauled him to his feet.

"Get this stowed away, we're leaving in 10 minutes," she barked.

Everyone leapt to work, even Prazza. They had it done in eight, and then climbed into the shuttle. Tali closed her eyes and leaned back. So close. A dextro-biosphere. Good atmosphere. But while other species might be able to shrug off attacks from that wind-borne life form, it would be lethal to quarians. Sighing, Tali tried to focus on finding Veetor. If they got him out safely, at least the mission would have a silver lining.

The ride up to the ship was a short one, but the jump to Freedom's Progress would take almost three hours. It was unlikely any other ship would be able to get there before them so Tali wasn't worried that Veetor would be picked up by pirates or slavers. But the three hours gave her team plenty of time to stew over the failed mission.

She decided to give the Shepard method another try. She found Wuul going over his plant samples. "Good work down there Wuul. Finding those dextro-plants was good work."

Tali winced. That was a pretty lame line, and Tali sounded wooden even to herself.

Wuul glanced up. "Um, thanks Tali'Zorah. I'm still going over whether or not these plants might be edible. Talk later?"

"Sure, keep up the... Great work."

Her inspirational speeches needed help.

Next she found Leewi looking at something in a corner.

"What's that you've got their Leewi? Picture of your boyfriend?" Tali asked, trying to sound teasing and humorous.

"No. Of yours." Leewi said, showing Tali the picture of Ven at his pilgrimage ceremony. "Do you miss him?"

Tali sighed and sat down next to Leewi. "Yes."

Leewi nodded like that was what she expected. "I miss him. If he hadn't-"

"Don't blame yourself Leewi. It was me he died trying to save."

"But if it wasn't for-" Leewi cried, and Tali put a finger to her mask's voice light.

"Cerberus. If it wasn't for Cerberus he would be alive. No one knew that they were going to attack. You can't blame yourself Leewi." Tali gently reassured her.

Leewi nodded and put the picture away. "I guess. Thanks Tali. Maybe we can talk more later."

"Yeah, sure." Tali said, and stood up to go check on the engines. She gave up. How the heck had Shepard done it?

The rest of the trip Tali spent patching an old fuel line. At least when she tried to make machines feel better they didn't blow her off or blame themselves for getting someone killed. They just did their jobs.

"Entering orbit over Freedom's Progress." The pilot said over the loudspeaker.

"Right. Bring us down close, I want to be able to spot any trouble."

"Yes ma'am." The pilot answered and Tali walked up the cock pit.

As they came in for a landing, she surveyed the colony. There was no movement. No people. Nothing. It was if the place had been totally abandoned.

"By the ancestors, what happened?" Tali breathed.

"There! Movement." The pilot said, and zoomed in to the source of the activity.

"Veetor!" Tali said happily, until she noticed he was scrambling away from the ship.

She opened up a comm channel. "Veetor, this is Tali'Zorah, remember me from the Rayya? You're safe now. It's my ship that's landing, stay put and we will come get you."

"No, no, no, no monsters, bad monsters, the swarms, the swarms are looking!" A panicked voice babbled. Then the connection was cut.

"He shut off his comms." Tali gasped in disbelief.

That had been strange even for Veetor. They hadn't exactly been the best of friends, he was several years younger than Tali, but they had known each other well enough he should have recognized her name.

"Put us down. I want to get to the bottom of this." Tali ordered. She glanced at the data she had gotten from Veetor's suit during his distress call. It was bad; he had some bad filters and a raging infection. He needed help, and soon if he was going to make it.

As soon as her team disembarked, the sound of small arms fire erupted.

"Take cover!" Tali ordered, and glanced up to see what was shooting at her team. Several LOKI mechs supported by several drones were advancing on the shuttle.

She hacked one of the mechs and blew out its primary motivator, and her team took out the rest with their own weapons.

"Why would the security mechs attack quarians if Veetor was here?" Rill asked, kicking at one of the remains.

"I don't know." Tali told her, then picked up one of the destroyed mechs and examined its main cortex.

"They're program to shoot anything that isn't the prime designate!" Tali exclaimed. She examined the files on the individual the mechs were supposed to protect and groaned. "And that's Veetor."

"Great. So the bosh'tet sends out a distress call then programs every system in the base to shoot his rescuers. Typical Veetor." Prazza said in disgust.

"Let's get inside those structures over there." Tali ordered, she felt another migraine coming on. "We'll sort out what to do from there."

They trooped over and Tali started salvaging the mech corpse she had dragged with them, trying to find holes in the programming she could exploit to try and take out the others.

Without warning a door opened, admitting a squad of well armed humans.

"Cerberus!" Prazza shouted in surprise, and the team stood, drawing their weapons.

Tali pointed her own gun at the intruders.

"What are you doing here?" The female of the group demanded. "This is a human colony."

"Weapons down, people!" The lead man in full Cerberus assault armor ordered, smacking down his companion's guns.

Tali felt her blood run cold. The man spoke with the voice of a ghost. He turned back to her.

"Tali?" He said.

"Lower your weapons!" Tali ordered, almost dropping her weapon in shock.

"What? But they are Cerberus!" Prazza protested.

"I said lower it!" Tali snarled, and smacked Prazza's gun hard enough to numb her hand.

"Who are you!" She demanded, turning back to the commando.

He fiddled with his helmet a moment before yanking it off. Tali almost fainted.

A dead man grinned at her. "Tali, it's me!"

"Shepard?"

_Unna'Karis: Obviously, finding Shepard must have been a shock for you._

_Tali'Zorah: Yes. What do you do when you find out that your love was only Mostly Dead?_

Authors Note:

A few people have remarked they can't tell if Tali and Shepard had a life together after the crucible. This is intentional. You will not know if Shepard lives until after the events of ME3. The same goes for the fate of the geth, the fate of quite a few crew members, and which choice Shepard ultimately makes. While I do want to play up the fact that there was a happy ending, whether or not Shepard is ultimately a part of that happy ending is intentionally ambiguous for a simple reason: I want you to keep reading and reviewing! If I spoil the ending, all that excitement and mystery will be gone.

I will come out and say this story is not meant to replace cannon, but rather to expand on it so that we get to know Tali and other members of the crew better, though I am still torn up about whether I should include the starfail, er, starchild, and leviathan DLC at all. I personally found both to be pretty disappointing. (If you like ME3 and need another dose by all means get Leviathan, but if you're already done it's not worth the $10)

And the aliens all call Jesus Jeebus because I think it's funny.


	21. Chapter 18: Only Mostly Dead

Chapter 18: Only Mostly Dead

_Unna'Karis: Seeing Shepard risen from the grave... It must have been a powerful moment._

_Tali'Zorah: More of a confusing moment. I had lain him to rest, and I had thought I was over it. Seeing him ripped open too many old wounds for it to be a purely pleasant meeting. _

In the back of her mind, Tali knew what she was seeing was real and exulted in it. The rest of her was totally rejecting the reality, crying out that she had gone mad. Before her stood the man she loved, the man she buried and left in that grave. And he was clad in the armor of her enemies, the people who killed the other man she loved. Tali shoved all her emotions to the back of her soul. She had a mission. She had to be rational.

"Shepard, I thought you were dead." Tali carefully said.

He still had that stupid grin on his face. "Oh, I was only mostly dead."

The dark brown human with with Shepard, rolled his eyes and muttered something. The female smirked. Tali immediately decided she did not like her, but she wasn't sure why.

"What is your old commander doing running around with Cerberus?" demanded Prazza, raising his weapon again.

"That's a good question." Tali looked at Shepard, really looked at him. Was he with Cerberus? If he was, it was not the real Shepard. It couldn't be. He would never kill Ven. "What are you doing with Cerberus?"

"Tali, when I say I was mostly dead, I mean it." Shepard said, his face clouding. "In fact, for a while there I was gone. But Cerberus brought me back. It took them two years and more money and resources than I can imagine, but I'm alive again."

"That's ridiculous!" Prazza declared, "Why would Cerberus spend that much to bring back just one man?"

A flare of anger rose up in Tali and she turned to Prazza, her eyes flashing. "If you had seen Shepard in action, you would know it was worth it. Gun down, Prazza. Now."

Prazza grumbled, but he tucked his rifle away. Tali turned back to the man who claimed to be Shepard. She had a thousand questions running through her head, a thousand reasons why this was impossible. Old wounds were coming open, and it was all Tali could do to keep her voice level.

"Shepard, is it really you?" She half begged. Part of her wanted to believe it was him. Half wanted to shoot the imposter right now.

"Remember the data on the geth I gave you for your Pilgrimage Tali? Did it help you?" Shepard answered softly.

` It was him. It was really him. There was that same kindness, same strength. But his eyes were different. They seemed mournful. Had Cerberus changed him? She didn't, couldn't know.

"It did. I'm on the crew of the_ Neema _now." Her voice sounded a bit distant to her, formal instead of the gushing emotions she felt inside.

The Cerberus woman with Shepard spoke up. "This is all very touching, but that doesn't explain what you and your people are doing here Tali'Zorah."

Tali turned and glared at her. "I don't think we've been introduced, Cerberus."

The woman was obviously attractive by human standards, and Tali had to admit she had an almost unnatural grace and poise about her that weaker minded males might find alluring. She hoped Shepard hadn't been swept up by the bosh'tet's charms.

"Tali, this is Miracle Miranda Lawson." Shepard said, winking at the operative, who returned the gesture with a slight grin of her own. Tali felt her blood boil. "And Jacob Taylor, retired Alliance marine." Shepard said, gesturing to the dark skinned human.

"Hoo-rah," grunted Jacob, though he kept his eyes on Prazza.

Tali nodded politely, trying to keep her body language from showing her dislike of the Cerberus Operatives.

"We are here to investigate the disappearance of the human colonists. I think it might be connected to the Reapers somehow, and Cerberus has agreed to supply me with resources to end the threat to humanity," Shepard explained. "Do you and your people know anything that might be able to help us?"

A surge of relief washed over Tali. Shepard seemed to be less working for Cerberus and more working with them. She could understand putting aside old grudges to protect her people, and Shepard seemed to be doing the same thing. If Cerberus really had brought Shepard back from the brink, he could also be forgiven for trusting them. After all, saving someone's life was a pretty good way to earn their confidence.

"We don't, but we're here to find someone who may," Tali explained.

Shepard's eyes lit up with interest. "Oh? You mean survivors?"

"What do quarians want with human survivors?" demanded the bosh'tet woman.

"Nothing." snapped Prazza, "We are after one of our own, he was here on pilgrimage."

"What's a quarian pilgrim doing on an out of the way flyspeck like Freedom's Progress?" Jacob asked, and though he was blunt, Tali couldn't detect any hostility in his question.

"Veetor, the pilgrim, was always a bit nervous in crowds," Tali answered. "He liked the idea of helping out a small colony, away from the noise of big settlements."

"What she means is that he was unstable," Prazza interjected. "And combined with a faulty suit filter, a few secondary infections, he is likely delirious."

"We saw him when we came in for a landing, he ran away from us. It also seems he's programmed the mechs to attack anything that moves," Tali finished, glaring at Prazza for the interruption.

"Sounds bad." Shepard said, rubbing his chin with a hand. Tali noticed deep red lines that flickered underneath the skin as Shepard massaged his jaw. She felt a twinge of guilt, she had thought he was dead, KNEW he was dead, and given up on him along with everyone else. Those scars were proof of his abandonment. "Do you know where Veetor is holed up?"

"We tracked him to a warehouse on the other side of the colony, but there is an army of drones and mechs between us and the warehouse," stated Tali. "Perhaps we should work together to extract Veetor."

"What? Now you want us to work with Cerberus?" Prazza exclaimed, his voice screeching in anger.

Tali whirled and stuck a finger in his visor. "No Prazza, you work for me. You don't want to take orders, you go wait back on the ship."

Prazza's eyes flashed with anger, but he nodded sullenly and stepped back in line.

Shepard ignored Tali's subordinate's outburst, and for that she was grateful. "Sounds good. You and your men circle around back and draw off some of the drones. My team will head straight through the center; we've got the firepower for it."

Tali nodded, readily accepting Shepard's command. It felt good, like old times, and with the frustration of the past few hours she was more than happy to go along with him.

"Aye, aye Shepard." She leaned in close, and almost reached out to touch him, but held back with all the others watching. "Whatever happens, it is good to have you back," she said softly, then turned back to her troops.

"You heard the Commander. Wuul, you take Rill, Ooba and Kerlia. You stay with the ship, try and make enough noise to draw off the drones. The rest of you with me, we're going to circle around to the south and draw their fire away from Shepard's team."

They nodded, and Shepard and his squad stormed out the front, coming under fire as they came out of the cover of the building. Tali felt her heart skip a beat, but she made herself focus. Shepard was the best there was, and he wasn't going to let a few mechs and drones take him down.

She led her squad out the entrance and they almost immediately ran into more LOKI mechs. Though well armed and fairly durable, LOKI's were fairly easy to hack and dumber then a varren. Tali's squad spread out to cover and easily dispatched the few mechs that came their way.

"This is a joke, we should be going to save Veetor, not leaving him in the hands of those Cerberus bosh'tet's." Prazza grumbled.

"Let Shepard do his job Prazza. The majority of the mechs and drones are still going after Shepard and it's too hot for us to handle," Tali ordered.

Tali felt Prazza's strong hands throw her to the ground. "I'm done taking orders from bosh'tet Cerberus spies. Anyone who wants to save Veetor come with me. The rest of you cowards can stay with the human lover."

Dazed, Tali struggled to her feet and tried to shout, but her voice caught in her throat. All the others were glaring at her and following Prazza's lead, only Leewi stayed by Tali's side.

"What do we do?" The panicked Leewi panted, trying to help Tali up.

"That bosh'tet is going to get everyone killed," Tali gasped, then opened a comm link to Shepard. "Shepard, Prazza and his squad moved ahead! I told them to wait but they ran off. They want to get to Veetor before you can and take him away!"

"Understood." Shepard's replied, the calm business-like voice reassuring Tali. "We're almost to the warehouse, I think we can get there before-"

Shepard's voice cut out and Tali turned to the direction Prazza and his squad had gone. Sounds of explosions and quarian screams of agony could be heard.

"Prazza and his squad ran into a YMIR mech, Tali," Shepard said over the radio.

A chill ran down Tali's spine. While YMIR mechs were just as stupid as LOKI's were, they were also over 3 meter's tall, armed with enough fire power to take down a platoon and with heavy shields and armor. Prazza's squad wouldn't stand a chance.

"We'll take down the YMIR mech, you try and get to the survivors before they die of exposure." Shepard ordered.

Numbly Tali nodded before she realized Shepard couldn't see the guesture. "Aye aye Shepard." She turned to Leewi. "Come on, I just hope Prazza didn't get his whole squad killed."

Tali ran to the open space in front of the warehouse in time to see Shepard blast the YMIR with a grenade launcher. The YMIR swayed, then crumpled. Its unstable core overloaded, and the mech was engulfed in a fireball.

"SHEPARD!" screamed Tali. Her heart stopped, and the horrible thought that she had lost him again raced through her mind.

The commander ran out of the smoke. "I'm fine. You get to your men, I'll get Veetor and shut down the rest of the mechs."

Relief flooded Tali, and she felt weak from the roller coaster of emotions she had rode been on since she had discovered Shepard was alive.

She turned to the still panicked Leewi who had followed her into the carnage. "Come on, let's treat the survivors."

Against her better judgment, Tali first checked on Prazza but it was obvious he was dead. His whole body was shredded to bloody rags by the YMIR's autocannon . Though she knew it was what he deserved for his mutiny, then leading his squad to their deaths, Tali felt a pang of sorrow upon seeing his mangled corpse. A bosh'tet and a jerk Prazza may have been, but he didn't deserve to die in Tali's opinion. None of them had.

"Tali, Nannoc and Reddof are alive!" Leewi called to her, and Tali rushed over to take a look.

She sucked in her breath. Nannoc had been gut shot, and it looked bad. Reddof's arm was shattered, and bone shards stuck out of her suit. Tali administered medi-gel to stabilize them, then looked around. There were still more drones, and they could come back at anytime.

"Come on, let's get them into that building over there," Tali said, and they dragged the two injured quarians to safety.

Once they were inside, Tali called Wuul and Rill to come help stabilize the injured.

"You go make sure Veetor's OK Tali," Leewi said as she carefully sealed the breach in Reddof's suit. "I can manage these two until the others get here."

"Are you sure?" Tali asked, torn between her desire to help her subordinates and her longing to stay near Shepard.

"Positive. If he gets taken by those Cerberus operatives this whole mission is a waste," Leewi answered. Tali nodded and dashed over to the building Veetor was located in. She rushed in just in time to hear Miranda talking to Shepard.

"We need to get Veetor back to the Illusive Man for questioning. He can provide us with valuable data on what happened here."

"What? No!" Tali shouted in outrage. "Veetor is injured; he needs treatment, not an interrogation!"

The woman tossed her head in irritation and looked down her nose at Tali. "We won't hurt him and he will be properly cared for. You have nothing to worry about."

Veetor shied away in the background, clearly nervous with so many people shouting. Tali's heart went out to the tortured quarian, and she decided she wasn't letting Veetor go, no matter what.

She turned to Shepard, but the commander had already stepped close enough that Tali could hear him whisper.

"Tali, we really do need that data. Lives are on the line. You could come with us, make sure Veetor is cared for, help us get that information," Shepard whisper softly enough that only Tali could hear.

"Look at him Shepard!" Tali said, pointing to Veetor. The quarian was cowering away from Miranda and Jacob, looking at them in fear. He was looking over at Tali and Shepard with hope, like they would deliver him. He obviously trusted Shepard even in his Cerberus armor; that was the trust and respect that Shepard commanded.

Shepard looked at Veetor and nodded. "The offer still stands. You come with us, ask him yourself, make sure he's taken care of. Dr. Chakwas is back on the Normandy, she can make sure Veetor is well cared for."

Tali hesitated. She wanted to go with Shepard. She wanted to be with him, to celebrate the fact he was alive again. But she couldn't. It was too soon, the grief still too real, and the idea that he was working for the same people that killed Ven...

"I can't Shepard." Tali tried to keep her voice calm. "I have a responsibility to my people too. And Veetor is one of them. I'll give you the data off his omni-tool and forward you any information we get from him. But I have to go, and Veetor comes with me."

She took a deep breath and continued. "And I'm still getting over you being dead. I mourned and buried you Shepard; that won't go away over night."

For a moment, Tali thought Shepard was going refuse, to take both her and Veetor and go, to prove he had risen as Cerberus's monster. But he bowed his head and whispered, "As you wish."

He turned back to his team. "Veetor goes with Tali. We'll copy the data from his Omni-tool and she'll send us any further information. Let's move people."

Jacob nodded and walked over to Veetor, gently taking his arm and copying the data. Veetor didn't resist, too traumatized to protest.

"If that's what you want Shepard," Miranda said, but her stance spoke of her disapproval.

Shepard nodded, then smiled and turned back to Tali. "I hope to see you again Tali. It's not every day you meet an old friend after two years of being Mostly Dead. We have a lot to catch up on."

A lump grew in Tali's throat, and she nodded. "Yeah. We do. See you later."

"Done." Jacob said and stood.

With a final wave, Shepard and his team departed. Part of Tali raged that she had once more let the man she loved go, but she pushed it aside and hurried over to Veetor.

"Are the monsters gone?" Veetor whispered, avoiding Tali's eyes.

"Shh. They're gone Veetor. It's me, Tali'Zorah. We're here to take you home."

Veetor looked at her out of the corner of his eye, refusing to make eye contact. "Ok."

Tali tried to help Veetor to his feet, but he flinched at her touch, and she stepped back. "Veetor, let me give you some medi-gel. It will make the monsters go away for a while."

"Are you sure?" Veetor asked, sneaking a glance up at Tali's face. "You don't look like a monster."

"I'm sure, Veetor," Tali said, and slipped a shot of medi-gel into Veetor's suit.

The injured quarian closed his eyes and started rocking, whispering something to himself. While he was distracted, Tali quickly made a few repairs to his suit. They wouldn't permanently fix the problem, but they would keep Veetor from degenerating further until they got back to the fleet.

"Come on Veetor, let's get back to the ship," Tali gently coaxed. This time she got him to his feet and led him over to the ship.

The others were already inside. Tali set Veetor down in a quiet corner and hurried over to Leewi. "How are Nannoc and Reddof doing?"

Leewi turned, and her voice sounded tired. "They should live. We've pumped enough medi-gel into them that they won't die right away of infection, but it's still touch and go. How's Veetor? You didn't let the Cerberus take him did you?"

Tali shook her head. "No, I brought him back. He's resting now."

Leewi sighed. "Good, I was worried you would run off with that Cerberus commander for a while there. You two seemed to have a lot of history."

"Yeah, we did." Tali agreed, "But the fleet has to come first."

Tali ordered the pilot to take them back to the fleet and stared out the view port into space. All the emotions and tension of the mission were hitting her. The loss of Prazza, as much of a bosh'tet as he had been, and the rest of his squad hit her hard. She had never lost anyone under her command before, and it hurt badly. She was starting to understand how Shepard had felt when he lost soldiers. Losing people had always been a risk, and there had been quite a few near calls and multiple injuries, but never anything so devastating as losing an entire squad before.

"I'm not good enough," Tali whispered to the stars. "I wish I knew what you would do, Shepard. You never would have let Prazza push you around like that."

But those thoughts reminded Tali that Shepard had just returned from the grave. She didn't know what to do or say about that, didn't even know what to feel. Seeing him again had proven to her that she still cared for him, still wanted to be around him. But did she still love him? Tali didn't know. Everyone she had loved had ended up dead, or in Shepard's case, missing in action for two years. Perhaps just Ven and Shepard wasn't a wide enough sample pool for a reasonable conclusion, but Tali's emotions didn't feel like being reasonable just then.

And who could Tali talk to about this? She couldn't talk to Leewi, her only real friend among her team. She wasn't going to mention this to Boyya or her other shipmates, or even Auntie Raan.

"Oh hey, that human I really liked that I thought was dead came back! Oh, and he works for our mortal enemies, Cerberus now. Isn't he adorable?"

Tali snorted. That would not go over well. Suddenly, she remembered someone else who had mourned Shepard for two years and went to her command console. She selected the comm codes for the _SSV Kilamanjaro. _She and Hannah Shepard had stayed in contact over the past two years, sending an occasional message or funny picture they found on the extra-net. They weren't close, but if anyone needed to know Shepard was back, it was his mother.

The communications officer recognized Tali's signal when she connected. "Miss vas Neema, the Captain is busy at the moment, can I take a message."

"This can't wait officer. Captain Shepard needs to hear this. Now. It is critical intel for her and the Systems Alliance." Tali ordered, trying to keep the stress out of her voice.

The comm officer hesitated, but he knew his captain and Tali had been friends since he had joined the crew, and Tali's tone left no room for doubt.

"Aye, aye ma'am, paging the captain now."

Tali waited only a few moments before Hannah's face appeared on the screen. "Yes Tali? I'm in the middle of a meeting, what's going on?"

"Get to a secure terminal Hannah. I have something for your ears only." Tali said.

A flash of worry and curiosity flashed over the elder Shepard's face, but she ordered her officers out of the board room. Hannah Shepard was now CO of the _Kilimanjaro_, and with rank came privileges.

"Alright, this connection is secure and I'm alone. What's happened Tali?"

Taking a deep breath, Tali answered, "He's back."

Confusion twisted Hannah's expression. "Who's back? The geth? The reapers?"

Unlike most of the politicians, most of the military personal of the galaxy took its most decorated hero seriously when he told them of a threat, especially one that had crippled the Citadel fleet and the Alliance 5th fleet.

"Your son." Tali answered.

Anger came across Hannah's face. "Tali, if this is your idea of a joke-"

Tali cut her off. "No, Hannah. I just saw him. On Freedom's Progress. He said he had been "Mostly Dead" for two years."

Anger drained from Hannah's face, and she looked like she had just seen a ghost, which Tali realized was how her own face must have looked when she saw Shepard.

"Those were his exact words? That he was mostly dead?" Hannah demanded in a shaky voice.

"Yes. He said he had been mostly dead and a person he called Miracle Miranda Lawson brought him back."

"My God," whispered Hannah. "You're serious. And if that's what he said..." Suddenly her face hardened. "Did you say Miranda Lawson?"

Bile rose in Tali's throat. "Yes. And he had on a Cerberus uniform."

"No!" Snapped Hannah, her eyes flashing. "My son would never work for those bastards, never!"

Tali put up a picture of Shepard from her omni-tool, holding his helmet with the Cerberus logo on it and Miranda clearly in the background.

"I took this on the colony of Freedom's Progress. He said he was investigating disappearances of human colonies. He seemed to think only Cerberus would back him up on that."

Hannah bit her lip, then nodded. "If that's what he said, then he may have a good reason. The brass has thrown those people to the dogs. We didn't think it was the Reapers, but if that's what my son believes I'm going to contact Admiral Hackett. We have some feelers out, unofficially of course, and we might be able to do something to help the kid."

A sudden realization came over Tali and she felt a pang in her heart. "He... He didn't even try and tell you he was alive, did he?"

Hannah looked away, and Tali could see tears in her eyes. "I think he did. I received a message from Miranda Lawson a few weeks ago, but I didn't even read it. She's a known Cerberus Operative. She had contacted me before, talking about bringing my son back. But I dismissed it, thought it was a bunch of lies to try and bring me under Cerberus's control. I even get messages from people claiming to be my son, but half the time they don't even get his first name right. After the first few, you just stop reading them, too much hurt. I'll try and get hold of him though."

Hannah looked directly into the screen, trying to meet Tali's eyes across ten thousand light years. "Thank you for telling me he's alive Tali. Even if he is working for Cerberus, he's my son."

Tali nodded, afraid to speak, and Hannah cut the connection. Sitting in the silence of her now half empty ship, Tali wrestled with what she should do as her ship sped away from Shepard, and back toward the Migrant Fleet.

_Unna'Karis: For this being a love story, it sure does seem you and Shepard abandoned one another frequently._

_Tali'Zorah: Oh, we never abandoned one another. We were apart for a time true, but we would be drawn together again, almost as if the Ancestors demanded it. _

Author's Note

Shepard may have watched a certain 20th century movie a few times. He also secretly spent the last two years building up an immunity to iocane powder. For details on what the heck I'm babbling about, look up Princess Bride on TV tropes. Or better yet, get the movie and watch it. It's Shepard's favorite movie on the Citadel.


	22. Chapter 19: Homecoming

Chapter 19: Homecomming

_Tali'Zorah: It's hard for me to remember the days after Shepard's return, the chaos that followed made that lull almost forgettable. _

_Unna'Karis: Were you given long to recover?  
_

_Tali'Zorah: No, my ever caring father redeployed me almost immediately. It... It was the last time I saw him. _

As the _Neema_ approached on the view screen, Tali couldn't help but feel a thousand lightyears away, back on Freedom's Progress. Back with her dead squad. Back with Shepard. It had taken almost two days to return to the fleet, and those days had grated on Tali. They had been days to reflect on her failures, on those she left behind. She dreaded meeting with the admirals, especially her father, and discussing yet another failure in addition to the loss of her team and the return of Cerberus.

It had also been two days for her be driven to frustration by Veetor. Leewi had stayed with the poor quarian for most of the first day, but they had kept him sedated while the medications did their work on Veetor's battered immune system. After that, Tali had felt it was her duty to care for Veetor. But it was hard to stay with a quarian who kept asking if the monsters were back, or panicking and trying to get out the airlock because there were swarms in his nutrient tube. Tali knew she was the one really at fault for the deaths of Prazza and his squad, but the idea they had died trying to save this delirious, panicky bosh'tet was a bitter pill to swallow.

Tali had finally given up and administered another dose of sedatives to Veetor when he had tried to take off her suit because he thought she might be a monster underneath. He was currently in the sick bay with Nonnac and Reddof, who were another set of reminders of Tali's failure. They were stable, and it looked they would make it, but Reddof would likely lose her arm, and even with the medi-gel doses Nannoc would be bed ridden for months.

Though the burden of her losses was heavy, what weighed most on Tali's mind was Shepard and his miraculous return.

"What sort of bosh'tet is mostly dead for two years and has to be taken care of by a bunch of terrorists?" Tali muttered to her self.

With the distance of space and time, Tali was startled to find all the old feelings she had buried rising back to the surface. She could not get Shepard's strong, kind face out of her mind. Even with the jagged glowing scars it was still a handsome face, and somehow the new marks made it even more enticing, not less. Though Shepard had fallen in with Cerberus, it was obvious he did not share their ideals. The bosh'tet cheerleader he had dragged around with him had wanted to kidnap Veetor and take him to some dark lab to pump him for information. Shepard had not rejected the idea flat out, but he had been willing to listen to Tali and accept her advice, just like when he relied on her for tech knowhow back on the _Normandy._

Despite that, the hesitation he had shown worried Tali. Would the old Shepard have even blinked an eye before telling Cerberus where they could stick their kidnapping, murdering ways? He would have said no without hesitation, then probably blown them all up and left the lab infested with some sort of nightmare xenoforms. She shuddered at memories of what Cerberus had been up to in the labs they had raided in the past: mind control, mutations, and unnamed horrors. Not to mention attacking the Migrant fleet and killing Ven.

Tali tried to tell her heart that the old Shepard was dead, and she had no business trying to get involved with the new Shepard, but she knew it was pointless. That love and respect for her old commander lingered, and she longed to be a part of his crew again, to be under his protection and in turn ensure he was taken care of, at least as far as his ship went. She seethed at the thought of Shepard having to rely on the surely unskilled and unhinged Cerberus engineers that would be maintaining his ship. She was certain whatever vessel he had was not as fine and delicate a lady as the Normandy had been, but it was certain to require a good hand with the demands Shepard placed on his ship. Tali doubted that whatever incompetent lackeys Cerberus had dredged up had enough skill to maintain a ship to the levels Shepard would need.

She shook her head and pulled herself back to the present. They would be docking in moments, and the entire admiralty board had been assembled to hear her report in person. Though she was related by blood or bond to three-fifths of the board, it still made her nervous, perhaps more so. Though she knew her father, Raan and Han all cared for her, they expected more from Tali because of that and held her to a higher standard than any other team leader. Xen was a bit of a maniac and Zaal was a pompous bosh'tet, but Tali wasn't worried about them. Any attacks from Zaal or lunacy from Xen would be met with prompt backing from one of the members in Tali's corner.

"Scouting Vessel _Neema_ A-02, please confirm identity." The Neema's comm officer requested.

"'We are scattered as seeds on the wind, searching for fertile soil, to bloom and grow a garden anew.'" Tali recited, using the unique passphrase her vessel had been given.

"We confirm, Tali'Zorah, welcome back. How was your mission?"

Tali knew the officer to be a solid woman, but a bit of a gossip aboard the Neema. Anything she said would rapidly be disseminated amongst the crew, so she chose her words carefully.

"We have two casualties that need immediate medical care, and one stray we picked up who is going to need intensive mental care. We also have three bodies that will need to be committed to the ancestors. The rest is for the captain's ears alone."

There was a moment of shocked silence, then the officer responded. "Of course Tali'Zorah. Medical crews are headed your way right now. I am sorry to hear of your losses, the ship grieves to hear of her fallen children."

Tali rubbed her forehead in frustration. The officer didn't sound like she was judging her, only sympathy filled her voice. Tali didn't want sympathy right now; she wanted someone to tell her what a bosh'tet she had been and dress her down.

"Thank you. Let the board know I will meet them as soon as decontamination is complete," Tali responded, and broke the connection.

She got Leewi and the wounded, along with the still sedated Veetor and waited by the airlock. The gentle thump of the docking clamps rocked the ship, and Tali relaxed slightly. She was battered and bruised, but she was home. Always having the _Neema_ to come back to was a comfort she was grateful she would never be deprived of.

Stepping through the airlock was a relief, and Tali let the cool decontamination mists wash over her. She raised her hands and let the mist cover every inch of her body. Going out into the world was dangerous, as you never knew what contaminates you could bring back. Aboard her transport Tali had already scrubbed down her suit and every piece of equipment, but you could never be too careful.

In the urgency of caring for the sick and wounded, the usual boarding ceremony was forgone. "Take care of the wounded. Leewi, stay with Veetor until we can get a specialist for him, he's likely to be a little crazy waking up in a strange place and it should help if you're there," Tali ordered as she headed for the admirals.

It was a short trip, and Tali tried to compose herself on the way there. The admirals would likely want to know how she had gotten an entire squad killed on a planet they were never supposed to go anywhere near. She stepped into the room, and her father and her captain came over to greet her.

"Tali, what's this about Prazza and his squad getting wiped out?" Her father demanded.

"Easy Rael, let's hear about this stray she rescued." Captain Han'Gerral vas Neema cautioned. "If he was in danger, she did well getting her team out intact."

"Both of you bosh'tets stand aside," scolded Auntie Raan, who rushed over and enveloped Tali in a hug. "Are you alright child?"

Tali sighed, and gently pushed Raan away. "No. But you all need to hear my report."

"I daresay we do." Admiral Zaal'Koris interjected. "That planet you went to survey was most promising from our initial probes report."

"The planet is a no go, admirals," Tali said, bringing up the data on the micro-organisms. "The planet's biosphere was dextro-based, but the atmosphere was swarming with these little guys. From what we could tell, they would eat our lung tissue like it was Elcor Smooth and Spicy flavored nutrient paste."

"Interesting. Do you think it could be engineered as a bio-weapon Tali'Zorah?" Admiral 'DaroXen quizzed, coming over to study Tali's data. "Something like that could help us secure a colony if we decided to take one of the turian's."

"No bio-weapons!" snapped Zaal. "It's bad enough you maniacs want to go after the geth. Taking on the turians would be suicide."

"As much as I hate to agree with the distinguished Qwib qwib," Han drawled, using the highly embarrassing ship name Zaal served under, "He's right Xen. Taking on the turians would be suicide, and stupid."

"Anyway," Raan interupted, "How did you end up bringing in a stray? From your transmissions, I gather he was on a human colony?"

Tali nodded. "Yes, a small one called Freedom's Progress."

"Why the extraction?" her father demanded.

"He was sick," Tali explained, "His suit was damaged, and he was traumatized. The entire colony had been abducted."

"What?" Exclaimed Zaal incredulously. "An entire colony abducted? A human colony? They have just about the biggest fleet of any species but the turians. What sort of lunatics would abduct one of theirs? Even the batarians aren't that stupid."

"It wasn't a sanctioned colony." Tali explained, "And it wasn't any of the species in the traverse. It was the collectors."

Stunned silence met that pronouncement.

Admiral Xen broke the silence. "Well. I can see why you would want to give that information directly to us. That is interesting. We know next to nothing about the collectors and the citadel races not much more. What did Veetor see? Why did they leave him?"

Tali shrugged. "I don't know. Veetor has always been a little... odd. And this experience has completely unhinged him. I got the data from his omni-tool and forwarded it to you, Alliance Command, and another party. That's the other reason I need to speak to you all in person."

"You forwarded this information to humans?" Her father asked coldly.

"Back off Rael." Raan growled. "You know she has good ties to the human military, and it wouldn't hurt us a bit to build some good will with them. You know we've discussed sending her as an ambassador to earth to drum up support for us, what with her record on the Normandy."

Tali perked her ears up at that. She had never heard anything about the quarians opening an embassy on earth.

"What about the third party?" Han asked. "Who else did you send the information to? Not the council surely."

"No. Commander Shepard. He's back." Tali answered.

Raan started. "Not your commander Shepard surely? He's dead, everyone knows that. The geth killed him."

"Let the woman speak Raan, I want to hear of this." Xen said, her eyes glowing with curiosity.

Clearing her throat, Tali began, "He met me on Freedom's Progress. That was the colony where Veetor was, looking for answers to why all the humans were abducted. Shephard let me take Veetor back to the fleet if I promised that we would share any data we found or information from Veetor that might solve how the collector's were operating with both Shepard and his employer." He father nodded. "Good move. The Alliance has been fairly generous with us, and we have no reason to alienate them by withholding information that may help them recover their colonists."

"Wait," Xen held up a hand, "You said three parties. And it doesn't sound to me like Shepard is still working for the Alliance. Who is his employer?"

"Shepard... He's working with the organization that revived him. Apparently they salvaged his body while it still had a spark of life in it and managed to bring him back. It took them nearly two years and more credits then the entire fleet spends in a year, but they brought him back and set him to trying to figure out who's abducting the human colonists and stop them."

"But who are they?" Zaal demanded.

"Oh I think I know," Xen said, her voice playful, "But do tell Tali, I think this might get interesting."

Tali felt the eyes of the five most powerful people in the fleet, and sighed. "Cerberus."

Cries of shock and outrage came from every Admiral's lips but Xen, who stood shacking silently with mirth.

"What? You shared data with Cerberus?" bellowed Han.

"How could you?" gasped Raan.

Her father stared at Tali and shook his head.

Zaal calmed down first. "I think we need to hear the rest of what Tali has to say," he said slowly.

"Oh, I agree. This is most fascinating." Xen declared, rubbing her hands.

Tali swallowed the lump in her throat and tried to explain. "Shepard... He's not so much working for Cerberus as with them. Apparently the Alliance has its hands full rebuilding after they lost most of their 5th fleet at the Battle of the Citadel and trying to take on the new responsibilities their forces face as a council member race. It was easiest to blame it on pirates according to Captain Hannah of the dreadnought Kilimanjaro, and Shepard wasn't receiving any support politically as he's officially still dead."

"So he's working with our greatest enemy to save his own people?" Raan asked gently.

Tali nodded in relief. "Yes. He doesn't appear to agree with their policies; one of the opperatives wanted to kidnap Veetor but Shepard shot it down. Giving them the data was a compromise that let everyone get what they needed. That data couldn't hurt the fleet in any way. I checked it myself."

Tali didn't mention that she only checked after she gave the data to Shepard. What the Admirals didn't know couldn't hurt them.

"But still. Cerberus," Zaal mused. "Why are they so interested in helping a few human colonies? Why bring back Shepard?"

"I think it's because of the Reapers." Tali said, and tried to ignore the groans of exasperation from the admirals_" _and pressed on, "Cerberus knows they are still out there. And they are just as much a threat to the fleet as the geth!"

"As fascinating as the Reapers are, we've not been able to find any hint of them," Xen said. "And frankly we should be looking at more direct threats, like what's happening on Haestrom or the impending food and living space crisis."

"True. Whether Cerberus thinks the Reapers are real is immaterial to us." Zaal declared. "What is happening on Haestrom is of much more pressing concern."

"I hate to do this to you after losing so many of your squad and after such a harrowing mission Tali, but we need you," Raan gently told Tali, "We need you to lead what's left of your team and a marine detachment under Major Kal'Reegar to Haestrom. We've had disturbing news."

"Haestrom? Wasn't that one of our old colonies? That's in geth space!" Tali exclaimed, "What could be important enough that we would need to go there?"

"It was," her father agreed, nodding. "And we feel the data we have is pressing enough to send you there. Haestrom's star appears to be dying, and we don't know why."

Xen brought up an image of Haestrom's star on her omni-tool. "We send occasional unmanned probes into geth space to see what they are up to, or to check if perhaps we could retake one of the old colonies without too much trouble. After all, our biology would be fairly compatible thanks to all the teraforming we did on them."

"Makes sense, but what's happened that suddenly makes Haestrom such a priority?" Tali asked. "A dying star isn't that big a deal; stars get old and die all the time."

"This one is different." Han said, gesturing to the projection. "Haestrom has a fairly young star. It isn't old enough to be dying at the rate it is. Something is causing it to age far more rapidly than normal. We need you to investigate."

"You will have a few weeks to rest and resupply, and to get with Reegar to figure out how you want his troops deployed. The geth do not currently have a major presence on Haestrom, but that could change at any moment," Raan informed Tali.

"This information could be vital to the fleet, Tali. We need to send our best, and that means you." Her father quietly told her, "You should go see to your people. We're going to have to discuss the information you have given us at length. We will talk later."

With that dismissal, Tali saluted stiffly and stumbled, out, shutting the door behind her a little more firmly then necessary. Another mission? So soon? They didn't appear to care that she had lost four people, or that Shepard was back. Granted, none of the admirals got a warm fuzzy feeling whenever Shepard walked into a room, but it was important to her and neither her captain, nor her father, nor even her auntie seemed concerned. They were more worried about a star around which orbited a colony that had been abandoned since before any of them were born. What was so important about a stupid star like that anyway?

Tali wasn't really paying attention to where she was going and bumped into a tall quarian in a red suit.

"Sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going," Tali apologized, and studied the stranger. He wasn't one of the Neema's crew, so that meant he must have come with one of the Admirals from the other ships.

"No apologizes necessary ma'am. In fact I was looking for you," the stranger replied.

A light went on in Tali's mind as she recognized the man from briefing vids. "Kal'Reagar?

He snapped to attention and saluted. "Yes ma'am, Major Kal'Reagar, 78th Marine Division. The Admirals told me you were the specialist whose team they tapped for the op."

Tali did her best to return the salute crisply, though she couldn't help but feel a tad out of practice. She studied Reagar. He seemed to be the model of military efficiency that he had been in the briefing vids she had seen, all detailing highly dangerous, and successful, ops the major had commanded. In quite a few ways, he reminded Tali of Shepard.

"Have you heard about my last mission major?" Tali asked apprehensively. She wasn't looking forward to having to explain how she lost an entire squad and made friends with Cerberus.

"I talked to a few of your team members. They said you did good. Lost a few people, but you saved one of our own, defused a situation with Cerberus, helped an unblooded team take down a swarm of mechs including a YMIR, and handled a muntiny with minimal losses. If you can show the leadership and ability you did there on our mission, I think it will be smooth sailing. Just let me and my boys handle any giant mechs that decide to ruin our day."

Reagar's words made Tali relax, and relief flooded through her. He was just like Shepard, inspiring confidence and giving her hope. Perhaps this mission on Haelstrom wouldn't be a disaster after all.

She smiled at Reagar. "Thanks major. Why don't you come down to my quarters and we can discuss our mission.

_Unna'Karis: Major Reagar? Did you meet every hero of the quarian people?  
_

_Tali'Zorah: Not quite, but we were small, insular at the time. In a population of only a few million, it is a small world after all. _

_UK: As for the mission on Haelstrom..._

_TZ: A disaster. A pointless disaster, from start to finish. _

Author's note:

So this expansion about pandas to this little game I'm sure you all never heard of called World of Warcraft came out on the 25th. I may be a little remiss in updating for a few weeks as I indulge a bit. My spacegoat pally needs him some new gears.

Also, if you ever played WoW, this is hands down the BEST expansion blitz has come out with yet. Any worries you may have had were unfounded. Things are a good combo of silly and serious, hard and easy, and there is a great deal of exploration and things to do that Cata sort of lacked. PM me if you want a Scroll to get a free level 80 ;)


	23. Chapter 20: Falling Down

Chapter 20: Falling Down

_Tali'Zorah: There have been many disasters and failures in my life, for sheer volume of frustration and number of things that went wrong, I think Haelstrom takes the cake._

_Unna'Karis: Was it really that bad? _

_TZ: It was. It was a pointless, stupid mission in the first place. Nothing came of our data, and for all I know it was discarded as soon as I sent it to the admiralty, I don't know, I wasn't there in person. The worst part was, every single person under my command died, and aside from Kal'Reegar, I was the only survivor. On Haelstrom, if something could go wrong, it did. _

Screams of panic and pain filtered through Tali's audio processors as she ran toward the quarian pinned underneath the crate of supplies in the _Neema's_ loading bay.

"Make a hole!" Tali shouted, and skidded to a halt next to the wounded quarian and administered a dose of medi-gel and pain killers.

"What happened?" Tali demanded, glaring at the dock master.

He winced and shrugged. "One of the machines failed. We've been having problems with it, and I thought we had fixed it, but we had a cascade failure and the lift failed."

Tali sighed and stepped back so the crate could be lifted from the still whimpering quarian. He had been assigned to her team for this mission, but now they were going to be a man short.

"Seems like a great way to start things off." Muttered Tali.

"Well, at least now we've had our little disaster out of the way before the mission starts." A clear male voice said behind Tali, and she turned to grimace at Reegar.

"Let's hope so Major, I don't want any more casualties." Tali replied.

The marine leader shrugged. "At least Yleg will be alright, you acted quickly and with that medi-gel in him I am sure he'll be fine."

Tali glanced at the still moaning quarian as he was hauled away to the sick bay and shuddered a bit. "Not quickly enough."

Reegar shook his head. "You can't prevent every disaster ma'am. All we can do is our best."

Tali sighed and nodded. "Your right major, lets finish loading the equipment. The sooner we can be off, the sooner we can get that data."

Reegar saluted and marched off, shouting orders to the marines and team members as he went. Tali opened her omni-tool and tapped in a few commands. She was going to have to call up one of the reserve team members now.

"Is Yleg going to be alright Tali?" Leewie asked softly as she walked up.

Tali looked up and smiled tiredly at Leewie. "Yes, he should be just fine, I think I administered first aid quickly enough that the secondary infections won't be too bad."

Leewie sighed in relief. "That's good, after the last mission..."

"We're not losing any more people Leewie. Everyone is coming back from this mission." Tali vowed.

Leewie nodded and seemed to relax a bit. "Yeah, I'm sure. After Freedom's Progress, I don't see how anything could be worse."

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"Your sure Tali?" Reegar said, studying the readouts.

"Positive. No geth activity. They have a few satellites, but we're not picking up any active platforms. Evidently the environment on Haelstrom is hostile to the geth as well." Tali stated.

"Well, that should make our job a bit easier then, though me and my boys might get a bit bored." Reegar joked.

"I'm sure I'll find some use for you." Tali wryly remarked. She turned to the pilot. "Set us down there, near that old complex. We should be able to draw some power from those old generators."

In a few moments the quarians ship settled down, and Reegar's marines raced out to secure the landing zone. Despite the fact that the scans had not revealed anything, computers and VIs would never replace having people on the ground.

"It's all clear out here ma'am, no hostiles." Reegar radioed, and Tali had her people move out and begin setting up. Reegar's marines began camouflaging the from orbital eyes, hoping to evade any geth drones that might do a fly over.

One of the team members stuck a hand out in the sun light just a bit too long and jerked it back, swearing. "Bosh'tet! Burned right through my shields!"

Tali hurried over and examined the burn marks on the suit. "This is even worse than we thought, even a few moments of exposure drained the shields and left scorch marks."

"But we're fine in the shade." Leewie remarked, coming over. "That pillar over there is shielding us for now."

"Then we had better get under cover." Tali said.

She stood up and looked around, nodding to herself. "We can unload the equipment and take shelter in the old buildings while we see if we can get the power back on. Hopefully the radiation hasn't completely destroyed the circuitry yet. Reegar, take a squad and scout the complex, I don't want any surprises from the geth."

"Aye aye ma'am. Second squad, your with me. First squad, help the scientists get their gear unloaded. Third squad, establish a perimeter, but stay out of direct sunlight." Reegar ordered, and the marines rushed off to complete their assigned tasks.

"Leewie go with Reegar and see if you can find a good place for us to set up." Tali told her friend, and the young quarian nodded and hurried after Reegar's squad.

Tali sighed and turned to the task of getting all the equipment unloaded. With the threat of even a few moments of exposure resulting in first and second degree burns and just thirty seconds before third degree burns, it was a long, arduous task racing against the moving shadows.

"Ma'am, we have problem." Reegar's voice crackled over the comm. "We just found an active geth drone. We destroyed it, and I don't think it got a look at us, but now the geth are likely to investigate."

"Oh keelah, that's just what we need." Tali groaned. "I copy you Major. Third squad, any sign of movement?"

"No ma'am but our sensors aren't doing much good with all this background radiation, and we can't risk exposure to sunlight to get a good look around. We won't see anything coming until it's right on top of us." The marine sergeant reported.

Tali ground her teeth. This whole situation was bad. The appearance of even a geth drone was bad enough, but hopefully the geth would assume that the loss of the drone had been due to a malfunction or environmental hazards and be slow in their response.

She glanced up at the sky. Day light was fading fast, and they would be able to move more freely once the suns lethal rays were hidden.

"Alright, once the sun goes down I want sensor beacons placed where they are least likely to be fried by the sun and still have good coverage. We'll get our solar collection gear put up at multiple levels above and below ground to try and get a reading on the radiation. It shouldn't take us more than 24 hours to collect the data once we're set up, then we can get out of here before the geth even realize what's happening. Leewie, did you locate a good place for the lab?"

"I have Tali, but there's more bad news." Leewie replied. "The generators are shot, but we might be able to fix them with faster then we could set up a stable powerpull from the ship. The power lines are a hopeless mess though, anything not buried deep has been melted to slag. We'll have to lay our own lines, and they will have to be covered somehow."

A slow throb of tension started to pulse at Tali's temple. That would add almost a whole day, the amount of power they would need would strain the ships generator to the maximum and that power signature would be clearly visible to any geth scans. At least the underground generators would be harder to spot, but laying all that cable in the lethal sun was out of the question, and it would take at least two nights.

"Alright, as soon as those sensor beacons are up we start laying the cable. I want a clear layout of what we need ASAP people, get started."

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Dawn came all too soon for Tali and her team. Placing the sensor beacons had been a nightmare. The worn metal and stone had cracked and crumbled at most of the sites they had initially chosen to place the beacons, and in some cases so had the initial fall back points. Coming up with a new coverage plan had taken precious hours, and they had placed the final beacon just minutes before sunrise.

"Bosh'tet!" Leewie snarled, and Tali hurried over.

"Sensor's 2 and 14 are down already Tali." Leewie said, pointing at her display. "We must have miscalculated the angle the sunlight would hit them at and they fried in minutes."

The throbbing in Tali's head returned, more persistent this time. "How bad are the blind spots."

Leewie shrugged. "Not too bad at the moment, but the other sensors are either degrading rapidly or have poor coverage."

Tali resisted the urge to scream, and forced herself to calm down. "We will just have to rely on the marines patrols then."

Reegar spoke up from behind Tali. "I actually wanted to talk to you about that ma'am, even keeping mostly to the shadows were burning down our shields faster than our suits can keep up. We can't establish an effective patrol pattern."

"So we're blind then." Tali stated.

Reegar nodded. "Unfortunately yes. We'll have a perimeter, but we won't have much warning if the geth do decide to make an entrance."

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Reegar's warning proved to be all to true, a flight of geth drones surprised one of Tali's team that evening, and though the scientist was only injured, the geth certainly were now aware of the quarian presence.

"How long do you think it will take the geth to respond Reegar?" Tali asked as she oversaw the repairs the generators. Even those had taken longer than Tali would have liked, they were old, and hadn't been serviced in nearly two centuries, but at least they were close to being operational again.

"Hard to say ma'am. Depends on how big of a threat they think we are, and on how many platforms they have in system." Reegar responded carefully. "At best? A week. At worst, they could show up at any moment."

As soon as the words were out of Reegar's mouth, one of the marines radioed, "Major! Geth drop ship on the horizon."

"By the Ancestors- Where is it private?"

"Sector 2-O, but it's circling closer. Seems to be a search pattern."

"Get everyone undercover, now! Shut down our active sensors, maybe the geth will think we've left." Tali ordered.

The next few minutes we're tense, as the sound of the geth dropship got closer and closer. Tali hardly dared to breath, and the technicians around her look scared out of their minds.

"It will be alright, Tali can get us out of this." Leewei reassured one panicky worker, and Tali nodded at her in application. Leewie turned her hand, palm out and fingers splayed in a quarian "thumbs up" gesture.

After what seemed hours, but what amounted to only a few minutes, the noise of the geth drop ship faded.

"They've left." Someone whispered over the comm, and the quarians let out the collective breath they had been holding.

"Alright, it's going to be sunset soon, and I want those power lines up so we can begin-"

"CONTACT! MULTIPLE GETH COMBAT PLATFROMS!" One of the marines in Third Squad screamed, as the sound of small arms fire crackled over the comm.

"Where coming, hold them off!" Tali ordered, "Second squad, get everyone under cover. First squad with me, reinforce Third Squads position!"

A chorus of affirmatives echoed over the channel, and Tali raced to the surface to link up with third squad.

"The drop ships coming back, I'm bringing heavy weapons to take it out!" Reegar said as Tali neared the sight of the skirmish. She glanced up to see the dropship screaming in.

"You better hurry Reegar, if that thing gets its whole complement of troops off they will overwhelm us." She snapped and brought up her shotgun and trained it on one of the geth.

She blasted away, and knocked the geth back into the sunlight. With its shields weakened by her shot, the metal quickly corroded and the geth twitched, then slowly began to burn in the deadly light.

Unfortunately, one of the marines had been caught in the open as well, and lay in shrinking pool of burning blood in a patch of sunlight.

"PRIME!" Screamed a marine, and Tali turned to face the massive geth. It charged right through a patch of sunlight, and it's strong shields barely flickered.

"Bosh'tet!" Tali snarled, and tried to hack the geth's motivators while it was still in the sunlight. She failed, and the geth only slowed a bit before it reached the shadows again. Tali ran an overload and managed to further drain the geth's shield, but the constructs machine gun roared to life and Tali scrambled for cover before her own defenses were depleted. Third squads sergeant wasn't so lucky, and fell to the ground with a wet sound. Tali winced, that was two marines down in moments.

A rocket streaked out of the shadows behind Tali, and she peaked up to see the prime topple into a pool of sunlight and begin to burn. She ran to the source of the rocket, and grabbed a launcher of her own from Reegar.

"Two casualties so far." She said grimly.

"Then we better take out that drop ship before we have more." Reegar replied calmly.

The two quarians fired in unison, and were rewarded with a satisfying explosion. The drop ships shields were already strained to the limit holding off the sun, the rockets slipped right through. A second salvo brought the geth ship down, and it tumbled to the earth with a roar. The sound of weapons fire died down, and the marines checked in. First squad had only one injury, but only two members of Third Squad had escaped unharmed, and three were dead.

"They'll be back." Reegar told Tali softly. "And with bigger guns."

"Let's just hope they take long enough for us to finish things up here." Tali whispered back, but she knew from Reegar's pained stance that was unlikely.

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That night passed in a flurry of activity. The generators were finally up and working, and a frantic race to lay all the cable took place. But the wounded still needed to be taken care of. A flight of geth drones buzzed the working quarians in the night, and while there was only one casualty, having to drag the screaming quarian off to be taken care of combined with the need to remain on the lookout for further attacks slowed things down even further. At the end of the night, under half the preparations were finished.

"We have no choice, we are going to have to risk working during the day." Tali told Leewie and the other specialists. They looked uneasy, but they agreed. The geth were even more dangerous than the sun, and they could return at any time.

Apparently the geth opted to lay low that day, because as long as the day light lasted, the quarians were left in peace. By nightfall, they were nearly laying the power lines and had all of the equipment set up. But as soon as the sun set, another geth dropship appeared. The quarians had only moments of warning, and then geth began to fall from the sky.

"Use the heavy weapons, bring that ship down!" Reegar yelled, and his marines launched a salvo of six missiles at the ship. They cheered in triumph as the all impacted, but with night came stronger shields, and the ship continued to hang there, spewing more geth.

"Second squad with me, take out those platforms!" Tali ordered, and the marines grimly advanced, trying to swat down the geth as they fell to the earth. Most of them were destroyed before they could return fire, but they continued to come, and more and more geth got through the quarians fire.

Just as a third salvo hit, the geth ship turned and limped off. The quarians raised another ragged cheer, but a dozen geth had successfully made it to the ground.

"Focus up, Reegar, take your heavy weapons and circle around to the left, I think I saw them drop an armature. Tali barked, and the cheering died down.

The next few minutes were a grim business. The geth knew they were outnumbered and outgunned, but they sold their lives dearly. Marines went down, wounded and dead, and Tali felt a pang with each loss. She was failing, and there seemed to be no way to salvage the mission. Finally, the armature went down to Reegar's rocket launcher and Tali's overload, and Tali breathed a sigh of relief.

Suddenly, Leewie's desperate voice came over the comm, "Tali, the geth, it was a distraction! They are hitting the generator room!"

Tali's head snapped around, her eyes widening in horror. She had failed again, the geth had hoodwinked her.

"Second squad with me! First squad secure the area!" Tali ordered and dashed off without waiting to see if anyone was following her.

She ran toward Leewies location, hoping that she was not too late. She burst in to find several dead geth laying on the floor, with twice their number of dead quarian scientists. Leewie stood cradling an injured arm.

"Looks like you missed it Tali." She said faintly, trying to sound positive, "I took care of them myself."

"Shhh. You did great Leewie." Tali comforted, injecting Leewie with medigel. "You rest now."

Tali leaned Leewie up against the wall and turned to the others, but they were already dead.

"This is bad ma'am." Reegar said softly, coming over to squat beside Tali over one of the quarian dead. "I'm down to two half strength squads, and the geth could be back at any time. Should we scrub the mission?"

For a moment, Tali considered it, considered taking her remaining troops home and accepting the failure. But she thought of her father, and the other admirals and their high hopes for her. They would never accept failure from one of their best agents, not when such crucial data was on the line. And she thought of Shepard, who never gave up, even when everyone called it suicide.

"This information is to important Reegar. The effects of this star... It could have major ramifications for the migrant fleet. If the geth are doing it, or if we can use it against them somehow..." Tali trailed off, fighting for reasons why they should stay, but struggling to find them.

"Understood ma'am." Reegar stood and nodded to her. "We'll get this done. Keelah Se'lai."

"Keelah Se'lai." Tali echoed, her voice sounded firmer to her ears then she felt.

She looked over at Leewie, now resting peacefully. They would finish this.

The rest of the night was tense, but by morning light the quarians had finished the power lines and gotten the equipment set up. They had done a slap-dash job, but they would get the data. All the machines would be worthless slag, completely irretrievable, but they would have the data. At this point, machines were worth far less the quarian lives. Tali hoped that the data would be worth it.

"We'll have the information by mid-afternoon Tali." Leewie informed, her arm still in a sling.

"Good, then we should-" Tali began, but a marine sentry screamed over the comms.

"Geth dropship incoming, no, two, three, multiple contacts! They are hitting the main collection relay!"

"Bosh'tet!" Tali growled. "Bring those dropships down!"

"Were on it ma'am, but some of them are going to slip through." Reegar's calm voice replied.

Tali looked around. The remaining scientists were in the room. "Bunker down here. I'll head to the collection site and retrieve whatever data we've gathered."

"I'm coming with you." Leewie declared, standing.

Tali was on the verge of saying no, but it would be good to have another hand, even injured Leewie was still one of the best technicians in the group, and she had proven to have a clear head in combat.

"Alright, but stick close." Tali ordered, and they ran off, darting from shadow to shadow.

"We took out two of the drop ships before they could unload and got the third before it could finish unloading, but the fourth one got through and it's headed your way." Even in the midst of the firefight Tali could hear in the background, Reegar remained calm.

"I'm taking half a squad and coming your way." Reegar continued, "Just hold tight until we get there."

"I'm heading the main data dump, were going to finish this mission Major. Keelah Se'lai." Tali answered.

"Keelah Se'lai. Reegar out."

Just as Tali and Leewie reached the data collection point, the geth drop ship screamed in over head, and a massive shape landed.

"Colossus." Tali breathed, her eyes widening in terror.

Suddenly, Leewie lunged forward and pushed Tali into the building, and the door hissed shut with Leewie on the other side.

"Leewie, what are you-" Tali began, but Leewie cut her off.

"Get the data Tali. I'll seal the doors and hold the geth off. Keelah Se'lai." Leewie suddenly switched to a private channel, and whispered to Tali softly, "I'm going to make what Ven did count Tali. He died saving you, and now you will be able to save the fleet with our data."

Tali swallowed, fighting back tears. "Don't throw your life away Leewie. Ven wouldn't have wanted you to die."

Leewie laughed softly. "I don't intend to die Tali, but I am prepared to if needed. Now get that data."

"I will. Keelah Se'lai, Leewie." Tali felt warm tears trickle down her face and mist up her mask, but she turned and numbly began to retrieve the data, trying to block out the screams of the dying the desperate cries of panic when the geth broke into the scientists hiding place and slaughtered the wounded. She prepared the data for burst transmission. Even if she could get out of the sealed room, the geth would just cut her down.

She finally turned off her comm as the remaining voices went silent. It was too much to bear. Leewie had reported getting military grade explosives to try and take out the colossus, but she had gone silent after she had retrieved them, and her suit wasn't responding to any queries.

Tali berated herself again and again. She should have listened to Reegar and scrubbed the mission. She should have packed up as soon as the drone spotted them. How could this data ever be worth all her friends, all her team members. And now she was going to die as well, either the geth would dig her out and kill her or she would starve, trapped in a tomb of her own making under the corpses of the fallen.

As she finished retrieving all the data, an explosion rocked the room. Tali checked her shotgun. One thermal clip left. Time to make the geth pay. She crouched down behind a pile of debries and waited.

A turian strode into the room and struck a heroic pose. "And lo, Archangel and his rather dim friend once again saves the day."

The turian glanced around. "You can come out now Tali. Please don't shoot me."

Tali stood in surprise. "Garrus?"

She hardly recognized the former C-Sec officer. He had a massive scar on his lower right mandible, and he looked older, wearier. Despite his gallivanting, he seemed to have lost a great deal of his former spirit.

He nodded. "The one and only. Come on, Shepard's outside."

Tali could feel her eyes bugging out of her head. "Shepard, here?"

Garrus nodded. "Yep. We just raced across half the galaxy to get here, I think Joker and EDI set a new speed record."

"Turian, quit talking with the quarian and get out here. I'm out of geth to kill." A krogan voice called.

Garrus sighed and shook his head. "And that would be my dim witted friend. Come on, I'll introduce you. You got along with Wrex, so I'm sure you will just love Grunt."

"His name is Grunt?" Tali asked, following Garrus, "And where's Shepard, I have to see him."

"He and Miranda are with the only survivor we found. Kal something was his name." Garrus answered, but Tali had already started for the entrance. Tears stained her eyes again, this time in joy. Once again, Shepard and arrived just in time to save her. Perhaps Leewie...

She ran out, past a strange looking krogan kicking the corpse of a geth juggernaut, and up a flight of stairs, headless of the drain on her shields. Two humans crouched over an injured quarian.

"Shepard?" Tali called, then she forced herself to add, "Reegar?"

Reegar waved weakly at her. "Hello ma'am. I'm afraid I'm a bit banged up. Did you get the data."

Tali nodded. "Yes, it's right here."

"Good, good. If you don't mind, I'll just pass out now ma'am."

Shepard stood and shook his head. "Tough bastard. If Miranda hadn't injected him with Medi-gel and sedatives, he likely would have charged that colossus alone."

He turned to Tali, and she bit her lip. What could she say? In a situation like this, people in the vids usually said, "What took you so long?" or if they were angry, "Why didn't you come here sooner?"

"Why... Why are you here Shepard?" Tali managed.

He looked away, and it was Miranda that answered. Tali felt like suplexing her, even if the woman had just saved her and Reegar's life.

"The commander and I felt that you would be a valuable asset to our team." Miranda smoothly replied. Tali imagined shoving her over the side of the walk way. Why did she have to get to Shepard first? And what kind of a thought was that?

"What Miranda means is that we heard you were in trouble and came to see if you needed a hand." Shepard said, turning to face Tali. He tried to meet her eye, but they were both wearing helmets, and it was difficult. Tali couldn't tell what was in his face, and his body language told her nothing.

"I appreciate it." Tali said, kicking herself for the lame reply. The man had just crossed half the galaxy to come save her. She could be more greatful.

Shepard cleared his throat. "Well, we better get you and Reegar back to your ship. Do you need anything? Food? Medical supplies? We've got some dextro-based stuff in the _Normandy_ for Garrus and-"

Tali cut him off, "Wait, you rebuilt the _Normandy_? "

"It's a new one actually," Miranda interjected, "Twice as big and fast, it's a beautiful ship."

Shepard cleared his throat. Tali wondered what was wrong with him, he was usually far more assertive and well spoken. "Yes, she's quite beautiful. The Normandy. Perhaps once you take the data back to the fleet, you can visit some time. I know it's important to you, and if your ship is damaged we would be happy to transport you and Reegar."

Tali thought she saw Miranda twitch in irritation, but she couldn't be sure. She had grown used to reading humans by their facial expressions, and their body language was hard for her to read still. "That might not be a good idea commander, the Illusive Man has us on a tight schedule."

Shepard rounded on Miranda and growled, "Tali's suffered enough. She's an old friend, and if she needs my help, she will get it. Understand that XO?"

Tali felt like cheering. Perhaps Shepard wasn't fooled by that ridiculous skin tight outfit Miranda was parading around in. She was obviously just a bosh'tet Cerberus Cheerleader.

"Understood Commander, I was merely pointing out-" Miranda began, but Shepard made a slicing motion with his hand and she stopped short.

"Do you still need my help Shepard?" Tali asked tentatively.

"If you think you can get away from the fleet-"

"Those bosh'tets sent us on a stupid mission to die." Tali spat, "I've spent the last two years running their errands, and all I have to show for it is a pile of dead friends and a stupid data packet that may or may not have anything useful on it. The admiralty and kiss my ass." Especially my father, Tali thought, but kept that part quiet.

"Hoorah." Reegar said quietly.

"I thought you were passed out." Tali wryly remarked.

"Funny, I did too. Must be hearing things then. Because say, if I happened to receive that data your holding, I could probably get it back to the fleet myself. Make up some story about you needed to go off on another mission with your old commander on some shadow play to save the fleet. All very hush hush, nothing a dumb marine like me could be told."

"Think you could make it back?" Tali asked.

Reegar stood shakily and saluted. "Damn right I can. You're right ma'am, this was a stupid mission. It was the mission though, and we saw it through. You did good."

Tali turned to Shepard. "Then let's go save the galaxy again."

_Unna'karis: Did Garrus Vakarian really strike a pose when he came in to rescue you?_

_Tali'Zorah: My memory may be slightly colored, but I guarantee you he was one of the most heroic things I had seen in a long time, pose or no. _

_UK: Being back aboard the Normandy though..._

_TZ: Completely different. This time, not all love was unrequited. _

Author's Note:

Well, it has been a while since I updated hasn't it? Sorry guys, updates are going to be infrequent for a while. I am going to school and working retail, and the number of hours I have at work combined with the increasing demands on my time from school are pretty horrendous. I haven't even played much WoW lately, but don't worry, this story (and my other story) will keep updating, abet far more sporadically. There will likely not be more than one more update in October, and possibly two updates in November. Once school lets out in December though expect my usual crazy fast updates ;)


	24. Chapter 21: Old and New Friends

Chapter 21: New and Old Friends

_Unna'Karis: How did returning to the _Normandy_ make you feel?_

_Tali'Zorah: I don't think I can pick just one emotion. I was relieved to be following Shepard again, especially after Haelstrom. I was frightened of Cerberus, of the AI. And worst of all, I was in love and didn't realize it. _

Tali couldn't decide just what she was feeling as she gazed out the view port. The _Normandy_ II waited for them, and from the distance they were now, it looked almost exactly like the original SR-1. The profile was the same, but as they drew closer Tali realized that this new ship was nearly double the size of the ship Tali had spent so many months on.

"She's beautiful Shepard." She breathed in awe.

"Wait till you see the inside Tali, xenophobic bastards Cerberus might be, but they do have nice toys." Garrus assured Tali, slapping her on the shoulder and grinning.

An irritated cough sounded behind them, and Tali felt her shoulder's tensing. She did her best not to turn to look at the bosh'tet cheerleader that was accompanying them. Being back with Shepard and Garrus was a relief, but knowing she was on a Cerberus vessel with Cerberus operatives... What would Ven have thought?

"To late for second thoughts." Tali muttered, shaking her head.

She was committed now, and she would see Shepard's mission to the end. And figure out exactly what Cerberus was up to while she was at it. And do something about that knot of emotions that rose up every time she looked at the once-dead commander. One thing at a time though; First came the new ship.

She turned around, and started to find the head of the strange looking young krogan thrust into her face.

"Hmm. You the tank does not speak of." He growled.

"Um, ok?" Tali sputtered, "Who are you again?"

"Grunt." The krogan replied, and Tali hastily switched off her olfactory sensors. His breath stank of rotten meat and a lack of dental hygiene, and his face was nearly pressed up against Tali's mask.

A strong hand gripped the krogan and jerked him back. "Easy Grunt. Don't frighten the lady, she might blow you in half." Shepard admonished.

Grunt glanced down at the shotgun Tali had had pointed at his stomach. He nodded. "She seems a worthy foe. Perhaps."

Grunt's attitude had Tali confused. She knew most krogan were nothing at all like her uncle Wrex, but this one seemed... Confused.

"Have you never seen a quarian before?" She asked wryly.

"Yes. The dead ones. And that one with the rocket launcher. He also seemed to be a worthy foe, though Shepard did not let me fight him." Grunt replied, his deep voice bereft of any emotion Tali could identify.

Garrus leaned over and put an arm around Grunt, who glared at him and tried to jerk away. "Grunt my companion of dubious intellect, Tali'Zorah is not someone you want to have as a foe. She beat up Urdnot Wrex once you know over a scrap of food, small fry like you she eats for breakfast."

Tali sputtered, the incident Garrus was referring to was the time Wrex had tried to "taste" one of her Elkor Smooth and Spicy flavor nutrient pastes which would likely have put the crotchety old krogan in the med-bay for days. Tali had smacked him on the arm and told him to keep his hands off, and that had been that.

Garrus finally let Grunt go, and the young krogan retreated, trying to keep an eye on both Tali and Garrus at the same time. "Do not touch me, turian. The tank spoke of the treachery of your kind. I do not kill you only because Shepard has ordered me not to."

"Break it up you two, were docking." Miranda snapped, rubbing her temple with a finger.

Glancing at Shepard, Tali jerked her head at Garrus and Grunt. Garrus looked like he was going to stick his tongue out at the krogan and make a funny face, Grunt looked like he had just had a toxic plant rub him where Garrus had touched him. Shepard gave her a wry grin and shrugged.

"Just ignore them. The attention encourages Garrus." Shepard told Tali in a stage whisper.

Garrus made an offended noise, and Grunt grumbled about "turian pyjaks" though the way he said it made it sound like a child repeating a bad word he didn't really know the meaning of.

The shuttle rocked gently as the mooring clamps engaged, and the door hissed open. Eagerly stepping out, Tali looked around the shuttle bay in awe. It was huge, twice the size of the old bay of the _Normandy_. A new APC, this one a hover craft stood in the corner.

"Shepard any better at driving that one?" Tali loudly inquired.

Garrus shook his head sadly. "Worse. The way he uses that eezo jump makes you want to spew your ration bars all over the back seat."

Miranda nodded tersely. "That's why I've installed sick bags in the rear compartment."

Tali did her best not to laugh at the Cerberus operative. Was she always so comically serious?

"Enough people. Tali, Miranda, come with me to the briefing room. Let's get our new chief engineer up to speed." Shepard ordered, and strode off towards the elevator.

Miranda launched into a tirade about the "Wisdom of letting alien operatives access to key systems" but Tali tuned her out. It was nothing she hadn't heard from Navigator Pressly, Ancestor's bless him, or a hundred others before. Shepard did shut her up after a few sentences, and Tali took smug satisfaction on Miranda's face. She looked like she had just swallowed a tube of rotten nutrient paste.

In a few moments, the elevator opened on a new level, and Tali started. "That was fast."

Shepard flashed a knowing grin. "One of the upgrades."

Miranda looked confused, and Tali tried not to preen. She might be Shepard's XO, but she hadn't spent nearly as much time with him as Tali had.

Shepard led the two women into a room with a holo display surrounded by a U-shaped table with places for quite a few people to sit. The dark human from Freedom's Progress nodded cordially to Tali, and she stiffly returned the gesture. Making nice with Cerberus was going to take some getting used to.

A blue sphere winked into existence on the display and a synthesized female sounded. "Welcome back Commander Shepard. It is good to see Ms. vas Neema is well."

"Thank's EDI." Shepard answered, and he gestured to the sphere and the dark man. "Tali, this is Jacob Taylor and EDI. You met Jacob back on Freedom's Progress. EDI is our shipboard AI."

Tali's jaw droped in shock. "You have an AI?!" She squawked.

Shepard nodded, but his eyes wrinkled with worry. "Yes, we do. EDI is leashed, and is a part of the _Normandy_'s crew. She will help familiarize you with the ships systems far better than I can. That's not going to be a problem, is it?"

Taking a deep breath, Tali tried to fight down her rising panic. She was on a ship with an AI. It was a leashed AI, but it was still an AI. Geth were AIs.

"Ms. vas Neema, I want to assure you that I have no control over any of the _Normandy_'s systems but its cyber warfare suits and GUARDIAN systems. I will not be **ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL**." The last was said in an echoing, deep voice that reminded Tali of Sovereign's on Virmir.

Tali started back, and flicked on her omni-tool as she pointed it at the display.

"Forgive me Ms. vas Neema." EDI said before Tali could do anything. The AI now sounded almost... Embarrassed? Did AI have emotions? "That last part was a joke."

"EDI's got an odd sense of humor Tali. But she's safe, we've run every test we can." Jacob interjected, frowning at the glowing blue ball. "Though perhaps we should have run a check for a bad taste in jokes."

"There is no logical way to test for bad jokes Mr. Taylor." EDI chided, "Besides, nothing is wrong with my humor."

Tali was trying very hard not to run gibbering and screaming from the room. Cerberus operatives telling her she was safe? An AI that made jokes? Was this some sort of nightmare?

She felt a strong arm around her shoulders, and started to realize that Shepard had put a comforting arm around her shoulders. Dispite herself, she felt her cheeks heating. There was nothing between her and Shepard and there never would be. Even if his arm did feel like the only thing in the universe keeping her upright.

"I know it's not like the old_ Normandy_, but it's a good ship and a good crew. Come on, I'll introduce you to the rest of the crew." Shepard assured her.

Tali nodded, still trying to keep an eye on the glowing blue ball. She knew it was pointless, that wasn't really where EDI was, but it made her feel better anyway.

"Yeah, let's do that Shepard."

They walked out of the confrence room, and Shepard looked around uncomfortably. "Sorry to spring all that on you at once Tali, I know how you feel about AI's. You can rely on EDI, she's done good work."

"Do you trust Cerberus?" Tali asked, breaking out of Shepard's embrace to look up into his eyes.

He met her gaze, and for a few moments, they just looked at each other. For some reason, Tali felt the urge to take her mask off so he could really see her eyes instead of staring at the pin pricks of light that showed through her mask. It was suicide, but she had to force her hands down.

Finally, Shepard shook his head. "No Tali. I trust you. I trust Garrus. Beyond that? I don't know."

A look of despair and weariness flashed over Shepard's face, and then it was gone. That shocked Tali, she had only seen such weakness in Shepard when Ashley had died or when they had found Corporal Toombs. If his facade was crumbling, how far from the end of his rope was Shepard?

"Are you alright Shepard?" She asked softly.

Shepard started, then he was back to the confidant smiles and posture. "Of course, come on, let's go on that tour."

But the creases around his eyes had taken on a new meaning for Tali. They weren't the laugh wrinkles from Shepard's constant smiles. They spoke of pain once deeply buried. Pain that seemed to be rising to the surface.

Tali was still lost in her thoughts when Shepard spoke up again. "Tali, meet Dr. Mordin Solus. He's our tech expert, I'm sure you two will have a lot to talk about."

Tali looked up to see a salarian in a lab coat, twitching as he studied her. He was missing half of one of his head crests, and he looked rather old for a salarian, which meant he was probably in his mid thirties.

"Hmm. Tali'Zorah. Quarian. Helped Shepard defeat Sovereign, yes? Not much known about you. Quarians keep mostly to themselves. Biology a concern, collectors use of bio-weapons makes theoretical cures risky for quarian immune system. Good with machines though. Personally prefer living specimens. Easier to work with." The salarian said, rapidly blinking his eyes as he talked.

"Er, good to meet you too Dr. Solus." Tali replied uncertainly.

"Please. Call me Mordin. Only Dr. Solus to strangers. And students. On this team, no strangers. Might be students though." Mordin answered quickly.

Tali was having a hard time following Mordin, and she wasn't sure if her translator was malfunctioning or if he really was omitting every other word.

"What are you a doctor of?" Tali inquired politly, glancing at Shepard. The commander's face was far to schooled, and Tali realized he was fighting back laughter.

"Lots of things. Medicine, biochemistry, biological engineering, cross-cultural drama. A few other things, not relevant." Mordin replied waving his hand.

"Cross cultural drama?" Tali asked in perplexity.

Moradin nodded. "Yes, yes, not important. Will have to ask you for input on current project later. Perhaps a nano-retrovirus. No no, not with quarian on team. To risky." The Salarian turned away and began typing furiously at a display, still muttering to himself.

"Come on. He's brilliant, but half the time he doesn't even realize there are other people in the room." Shepard whispered, and led Tali out of bay.

"Cross cultural drama?" Tali repeated as they left, glancing back over her shoulder.

"Yes yes. Will have to sing for you sometime. One of the patter songs, always gave me those parts." Mordin answered as they door slid shut.

"You'll have to hear him sing some time Tali. It's the only time I can understand everything he says." Shepard informed her with a wink. "Come on, there's another old friend aboard other than Garrus."

Shepard led her up to the bridge, and Tali tried not to let herself finger her shotgun as they walked past all the people in Cerberus uniforms. They all smiled at her or nodded politely if they noticed her looking at them, but Tali barely suppressed a shudder. They were still Cerberus.

She relaxed as she heard a familiar voice coming from the cockpit. "Look EDI, that's not the point. A joke is more than just a stupid shocking statement meant to scare the pants off of someone. It has to be FUNNY."

"But Flight Lieutenant Moreau, all of your jokes are shocking statements. Usually of the vulgar kind. My jokes are much funnier." The AI's electronic voice replied.

The man in the pilot's seat snorted. "Yeah, sure, says the talking toaster. What do you know about funny?"

"I know that it does not necessitate mention of reproductive organs or fecal material." EDI answered, and managed to somehow sound sarcastic.

Tali suppressed the grin she felt creeping across her face. She was not going to admit that the AI was actually pretty funny. Or that it was beating Joker at his own sarcastic game. AI's were the enemy, not a friend to argue about jokes with.

"Are you really arguing with an AI about whether or not it's funny, Joker?" Tali asked, folding her arms under her breasts.

She noticed Shepard's eyes budged for a moment before they snapped around to Joker's face. Tali felt confused. Her breasts weren't THAT big and ugly. She knew men preferred small chested women, but she wasn't that big. Or did they? She realized she wasn't sure what human males did find attractive.

She focused back on Joker who had spun around with a huge grin on his face. "Tali! I had heard you had come aboard! Maybe with you around someone will finally appreciate my jokes. So, this asari dancer went out to buy some melons and-"

"Tali isn't here to hear you spout dirty jokes, Joker." Shepard snapped.

Tali felt a pang of worry. Shepard was acting strangely. She was going to have to get Joker and Garrus to tell her how he was really doing. If he was snapping at Joker, things might be worse then she thought.

Perhaps not Joker though. He didn't seem to notice that something was wrong with Shepard and just rolled his eyes. "Yes sir, Commander Kill-Joy."

Joker grinned impishly up at Tali. "I would get up to give you a hug, but the last time I did something like that Garrus dislocated both my shoulders and Dr. Chakwas told me no more PDA's."

That did make Tali smile. "Dr. Chakwas is here too Joker?"

He nodded. "Yep, she sure is. Shepard's putting together quite the crew. Did you met Dr. Talks-To-Fast yet?"

Giggling, Tali nodded, "Yes, he offered to sing for me."

"Dr. Solus has quite the remarkable vocal range. I would suggest taking him up on his offer, Ms. vas Neema." EDI chimmed.

Tali frowned at the blue sphere that was projected by the instrument display. She wasn't used to AI's having any opinion she was interested in. Or in them interrupting her conversations with anything other than mass accelerator rounds. What had Shepard got her into?

"Er, thank you EDI." She muttered.

"Yeah, he's pretty good actually." Joker admitted. "Garrus is here too though, and that weird krogan. Oh, and the psyco lady down in engineering. Watch out for her, and for Zaheed. Kasumi is nice though."

Tali's eyebrows rose. "Sounds like I have quite a few people yet to meet."

Joker nodded. "Yeah, I'll let you get back to it, this ship doesn't fly itself you know."

He turned back around and Tali followed Shepard back out.

A young human female with red hair greeted Tali as she left the cock pit area. "You must be Tali'Zorah! I'm so glad to finally meet you, Shepard's told me so much about you!" The girl gushed in a painfully cheerful voice.

"I'm Yeoman Kelly Chambers, Kelly to my friends, which I am sure we will be! I'm also the ships councilor, so if you ever want to chat, pop on up here! I would love to hear about you, quarians are so fascinating, I've never met one before but I am certain we will get along! Oh, and Shepard you have two new messages, I've got to run though, Joker and I are doing calisthenics!" And Kelly skipped off.

Blinking slowly, Tali turned to Shepard. "Is she always that happy?"

He frowned thoughtfully. "No. Usually she's even peppier. I wondered what made her get so down?"

Tali stared at Shepard, trying to decide if he was serious or not as he strode off to the elevator.

Tali let the comfort of working with a new ships system wash over her as she tried to relax. The last half hour had been a dizzying series of introductions, one to a sour, scarred mercenary Tali had thought would shot her just for funzies, a ranting, nearly naked woman who had demanded to know if Tali was with Cerberus, and a quiet woman who had smiled knowingly at Tali but kept her face hidden. Quarians were socially outgoing with people they knew, but meeting so many strangers had been nerve wracking. At least Dr. Chakwas was a familar face, though in her new Cerberus uniform, Tali wasn't sure how happy she was to see her.

"Now that is a mighty fine ass." A male voice remarked.

A loud smack followed. "Ken, you are a pig." A female voice stated.

"Oh aye, but such a handsome, charming pig I am. And you have to admit Gabby, that is a mighty fine ass."

"Uhhhhh. I cannot believe you Ken. You know she's our new boss right?"

"Aye, but she's got that mask on. She probably can't hear me anyway."

"That doesn't make you commenting on her ass any better!"

"No, but it does make it safer. Take a look at that shotgun. That's a Kassa Armageddon IX. Almost as much of a beauty as her ass."

There was another loud smack. "Men."

"What? You have a decent ass as well you know, not as- Hey, not the spanner, that's cheating Gabby!"

Tali finally turned around to see a short human woman with murder in her eyes threatening a tall red-headed human male with a large metal spammer.

"There will be no murder done in this engineering compartment while I am chief engineer. Push him out the airlock instead." Tali said dryly.

The two spun to face her, and the woman blushed and tried to hide the tool behind her back. The man just grinned impishly.

"No murder in the engineering bay? Guess that rules out poker night then." The man cheerfully stated.

The woman elbowed him in the ribs, smiling pleasantly at Tali. "Ignore Ken. He's an idiot, but a good engineer."

Despite her best intentions, there was more than a hint of amusement in Tali's voice as she spoke, "And you two are my engineering crew? "

"Oh aye, that we are." Ken replied, grinning roguishly. "Me and Gabby have served on just about every model of Alliance ship there is. The _Normandy_ beats them all though."

Gabby nodded. "That she does ma'am. The _Normandy_ is fast, powerful and sleek as a whistle. She's a bit hard to configure properly, but we do our best."

Tali nodded. "I noticed that on the first _Normandy_, for her size she had a huge power plant and a massive power draw. How are the stealth systems holding up?"

As she chatted with the two engineers, Tali couldn't help but feel a kinship with them. It turned out they were both good at their jobs, and had defected from the Alliance, in Ken's case, left before he could be kicked out, due to the whitewashing of the Reaper threat and badmouthing of Shepard.

"Shepard is a damn good Commander, and he's the real reason we're here." Gabby told Tali.

"Aye. I don't hold much truck with Cerberus, but if the commander say's they're alright, so do I." Ken added.

That was a surprise to Tali, after listening to Miranda she had expected everyone to be a frothing Cerberus fanatic. "Does everyone feel that way though?" She asked.

Gabby shrugged. "Most people are here for the same reasons as us. They trust the Commander and want to help fight the real threat; the Reapers."

Somehow, that helped Tali relax a bit. "So Shepard really hasn't gone over to Cerberus? Miranda seems to have a great deal of influence with him."

"More like Miranda's ass has a great deal of influence." Ken quipped, then flinched away from a blow that never came from Gabby.

"Don't be fooled. She tart's it up, but the Commander has her twisted around his finger. She comes when he calls, not the other way around." Gabby told Tali.

For some reason, that made Tali's heart sink. What had she gotten herself into?

_Unna'Karis: So you were in love?_

_Tali'Zorah: Hopelessly. But at least this time, I wasn't a child anymore._

_Authors Note:_

Yes, Zaheed, Jack, and Kasumi will play a role in this story. However, they are not terribly important to Tali, so they won't receive much in the way of a spotlight. The problem I had with ME 2 (really the only one) was that while it had all these awesome characters having so many made it hard to develop any of them properly. It took me a few play throughs of varying party configurations before I felt like I really got to know everyone. So while there will still be "Tali and Friends" moments, I will focus on a few key crew members instead of EVERYONE, so that I can develop them properly with out having this chapter of Tali's life drag on forever.

Besides, I have a love story to write :P


	25. Chapter 22: Two Faced

Chapter 22: Two Faced

_Unna'Karis: What were some of the differences between the old and new crew?_

_Tali'Zorah: It would be easier to list what was the same, because other than a few names, everything was. _

Tali sent her drone around the corner and was satisfied to hear a loud squawk of pain from the merc. Shepard dove out from cover, firing three quick bursts, one into the chests of each of the Blue Suns. They all dropped the ground, blood pooling beneath them.

"Harkin seems to have plenty of friends." Tali observed, checking the bodies to make sure.

"Then perhaps they can all put him back together when I'm through with him." Garrus growled as he stormed past Tali towards the back of the warehouse.

Biting her lip, Tali climbed up the crates behind Garrus and Shepard as they made their way up to where they were certain the former C-Sec officer was hiding. The Garrus of Tali's memory was a snarky, somewhat naive, gung-ho turian who was just as excited to see the galaxy has Tali had been on that first cruise. The Garrus of today was still snarky, still gung-ho, and embittered and on this mission, shockingly violent.

Normally, Tali would have been certain that Shepard would calm down Garrus's blood lust, even if they were after the man who had supposedly betrayed Garrus and his team to mercenaries that had killed every member of Garrus's little vigilante band but two. After all, if Shepard had been able to forgive the doctor who had gotten his own former squad killed, surely he would encourage Garrus to forgive and forget as well. Instead, Shepard seemed completely at peace with Garrus's plan to murder his former team member, and possibly Harkin right along with him. Tali remembered Harkin as a seedy drunk and wasn't fond of him, but she didn't think murder was the first solution to things. Except maybe where the bosh'tet cheerleader was concerned.

"At least she's not here, she would be cheering for blood and death right along with Garrus." Tali muttered as she took Shepard's hand to help her up the last crate.

"What was that Tali?" Shepard asked.

"Nothing, just hope Harkin has the info Garrus needs." Tali answered.

Garrus turned back from the window he had been peering into. "There he is. 'Fade.' Time Harkin got what was coming to him."

"Then let's give it to him." Shepard ordered.

It took Tali only a moment to overcome the pathetic encryption on the lock, and Shepard and Garrus rushed in, pointing their guns at Harkin. The fugitive turned, hands raised.

"God damn Garrus, what the hell do you want? You didn't have to blow up half the damn warehouse." Harkin snapped.

"And you didn't have to send an army of mercs after me, but we did and now everyone can cash in on their insurance chips and retire happily. Except you, unless you tell me exactly where one of your former clients is." Garrus snapped back.

"Woah woah woah, let's not get hasty here!" Harkin replied, his voice trembling, "What former clients are you talking about? I'm just a freelancer now, do a bit of work for the Blue Sun's now and then."

"Cut the crap 'Fade.' We know exactly who was in charge here. Now stop stalling and tell my violent friend here want he wants to know before his trigger finger get's itchy again." Shepard interjected, gesturing with his own assault rifle.

"Sh-sh-Shepard?" Harkin gasped, eyes wide with shock, "But your dead!"

"Only mostly dead." Shepard growled from inside his helmet, "I got better."

"Stop stalling for time Harkin!" Garrus shouted, "I need information on one of your clients! A turian, probably came through a few months ago, maybe calling himself Sidonis."

"Hey man, back off," Harkin sneered, "If you know I'm Fade, you know I can't talk about my clients, bad for business."

Before Tali could react, Garrus had sprung forward and had his pistol pressed up against Harkin's head. "Well not talking could be bad for your health. And I would hate for you to miss out an all those life insurance polices on your men I just cashed in for you."

"Shepard, do something!" Hissed Tali, "Garrus is going to kill him!"

Shepard shrugged. "Harkin is scum. If Garrus kills him, he's doing the galaxy a favor."

Tali could not believe what she was hearing from Shepard. Was this the same man who had rescued her on the citadel and gave Veetor back to the fleet? Where was the kindness, the mercy she had loved in him?

"Oh God, your serious!" Moaned Harkin, as a wet spot appeared on his trousers.

"Your damn right I am. I want Sidonis, and if you won't give him to me, I'll just kill you and find someone a bit more willing to talk." Garrus pressed the pistol harder into Harkin's face, and the man's eyes crossed as he tried to focus in on it.

"I don't know where he is!" Harkin babbled.

"Well that's a shame. Tali, you might want to avert your eyes, I'm about to become ungentlemanly." Garrus drawled.

"But I can set up a meeting!" Harkin continued quickly, "Tell him his cover's compromised, that I need to change his papers! It happens sometimes, people know I take good care of them, that's why I get paid so much!"

Garrus relaxed and stepped back, letting Harkin slump to the floor. "Well, that sounds like it might work. Why don't you do that right now, while I stand here and make sure my knife is nice and sharp."

Garrus put away his pistol and pulled out a wicked curved combat knife, using it to trip his talons.

"You got it." Harkin gulped, scrambling over to a terminal and frantically entering in commands.

As he worked, Tali pulled Shepard and Garrus aside. "What is wrong with the two of you!" She snapped, eyes flashing, "You never used to be this violent Garrus, and you reeled him in when he got out of hand Shepard, like what happened with Dr. Saleon."

Tali wasn't sure what sort of reaction she had been hoping for, but the similtanious shrugs from the two were not it.

"People change Tali." Shepard told her, his voice almost sad.

"I had to grow up and see what the world was like sometime Tali." Garrus stated, and went back to trimming his nails, which seemed to make Harkin whimper every time he looked over.

For the first time since rejoining the Normandy a few days ago, Tali was having serious doubts if it had been such a good idea to go with Shepard. Yes, she had doubts about the AI and the Cerberus crew were disturbing, but they had not made her question going with Shepard and Garrus. She knew Shepard, and he would never let himself be corrupted.

Or did she know him? This new Shepard was deadlier in combat with faster reflexes, stronger muscles, and better weapons. But he was by turns tongue tied, awkward, angry, violent and now apathetic. Garrus wasn't any better, and the two seemed to feed off one another now, in a downward spiral Tali didn't know how to stop.

"There it's done!" Harkin called, wiping sweat from his brow.

Garrus leaned over him, draping an arm around the shaking man's shoulders. "There, you see, that wasn't so hard was it?"

"No, no it wasn't. Were good now right? It's all there, the date and meeting time, he's even replied to confirm already. "

Garrus stood back up and drew his pistol again. "Oh, I don't know that were good. There's the little matter of all your criminal ventures, not to mention you helping the scum of the galaxy escape the long arm of the law."

"What? But I helped you! You said you would let me go!" Harkin screamed, panicing.

"Did I ever say I would let him go Shepard?" Garrus asked, never taking his eyes from quaking criminal.

"Now that you mention it Garrus, I don't think you ever did." Shepard answered, rubbing his chin in mock thought.

"What? No! You guys owe me, from when I helped you with fist! You, quarian, that was you wasn't it! Tell them!"

"Garrus!" Tali shouted, "Is it really necessary to kill him!"

"In my experience, the only criminals who don't return to a life of crime when they are out of your sight are dead ones."

"Shepard!"Tali said, turning to the former specter.

He sighed. "She's probably right Garrus. Killing Harkin probably isn't necessary."

Tali and Harkin both breathed a sigh of relief. One for his life, the other because her commander hadn't completely gone off the deep end.

"Wounding him a little might be a good idea though." Shepard continued, and before Tali could say anything, Garrus dropped his gun to Harkin's leg, and fired.

Harkin yowled with pain and sank to the floor, cradling his injured limb and rocking with the pain.

"Now, now Harkin." Garrus said gently, squatting down beside Harkin, "I didn't even hit anything fatal."

"Fuck. You." Harkin gasped.

Garrus shook his head, and Shepard walked over to loom over Harkin.

"Hey, Harkin. Stop whining before I shoot you myself to shut you up."

Immediant silence, except for heavy breathing.

"Now Harkin," Shepard remarked, "Do you know what were gonna do with you?"

More silence, Harkin obviously worried about breaking to no whining rule.

"Are we going to call C-Sec and tell them where a certain scum bag is awaiting their loving arms?" Garrus asked breathily, stroking Harkin's cheek.

"Why yes we are, and do you know what your going to do when they get here Harkin?" Shepard asked brightly.

"Get arrested?" Harkin managed through gritted teeth.

"Yes you are. And then your going to tell them about every client you've ever had, every deal you've ever made, or I'm going to come back and put a bullet right here," Garrus stated, jabbing a talon into Harkin's forehead hard enough to draw blood.

"Do you understand?" Shepard demanded.

"Yeah. I understand. I'll sing like a bird." Harkin assured them.

"Good." Garrus crooned, patting Harkin's cheek and standing. "Then let's go have a chat with my friend Sidonis."

"I can't believe the two of you." Tali growled as she stepped out of the cab and stopped through Zakira ward.

"I am pretty unbelieveable." Garrus quipped, brushing the comment off.

Tali turned around, still fuming, and snapped: "I'm going back to the ship. I'm not sticking around to see you two gun down a man in cold blood. The Garrus and Shepard I knew never would have done that."

Shepard was rubbing the back of his head, like he was nervous. Tali almost screemed. When these two had burst in to save her she had painted them in bright colors and heroic deeds in her mind. Now she was starting to see the darkness behind the veneer.

She stomped off, turning her back on the monsters her friends had become. As she did, her heart panged for Shepard, and she had to fight down panic that maybe the man she had fallen in love with was lost forever.

She started. Fallen in love? Since when had she decided THAT?

"Look, I didn't steal any stupid credit chit!"

Tali stopped, that was a quarian voice! She looked around, and spotted a red suited girl being accosted by a volus and a human C-Sec officer.

"What's going on over here!" Tali demanded striding over.

"Oh great." Groaned the officer.

The volus waved his stubby arms about, "Look, it's another one! Maybe she's an accomplice!"

"Tali'Zorah?" Gasped the girl.

"What are you bothering her about?" Tali demanded, planting her hands on her hips.

"This isn't any of your concern ma'am. Move along, Citadel Security will handle this matter." The human stated blandly.

"I demand you hold this one for questioning as well!" The volus squealed, his arm motions growing so frantic Tali thought he was trying to take off.

"You have to help me Tali'Zorah! The bosh'tet volus thinks I took his credit chit just because I'm a quarian!" The girl pleaded.

"What's your name?" Tali asked gently.

Lia'Vael nar Ulnay." The quarian answered.

"Look, miss, if you don't move along, I'll have to hall you in for interfering in an active investigation. The last thing I need is two quarians in the lock up, so please buzz off." The officer ordered, now scowling in irritation.

"And why would you need to haul my crew member in officer?" Shepard's voice asked, as a hand gently rested itself on Tali's shoulder.

"I really would like to know Tom, because if anyone interfered in your investigations, maybe you would actually get some actual police work done once in a while." Garrus said as he took his place at Tali's other side.

"Garrus?" Tom asked, then his eyes widened as he realized who the other human was, and he drew himself up and saluted. "Commander Shepard! Word on the street was that you were back, I'm glad that your here, maybe you can take your friend away so I can continue my investigation."

"You haven't answered her question. Or mine." Shepard responded, squeezing Tali's shoulder before lowering his hand.

"The quarians have stolen my credit chit! I saw the red one stalking me, and the blue one just showed up so I know she must be her partner!" The volus babbled, obviously unimpressed with mostly dead specters.

"Tali?" Shepard asked softly.

"I haven't heard Lia's side of the story." Tali answered, and she felt her heart beat just a little faster. This was the old Shepard, the one that would help a strange girl on the street, just because she needed it.

"It was like I was telling the officer, Commander Shepard." Lia put in politely, "I was looking around the store, thinking about maybe bringing back some medical supplies for my pilgrimage. I saw the volus in there, but he waddled off and then I left, but before I could go anywhere he started screaming thief and yelling that a quarian had stolen his credit chit."

"Well that sounds like an easy enough mystery to solve Tom. Does Lia have the chit?" Garrus asked.

Tom shrugged. "No, but she's got a couple of citations for loitering in this area, and people have complained about quarians stealing things before."

"Has anything been stolen?" Shepard demanded.

"Yes, my chit!" Shouted the volus, but everyone ignored him.

"Not that we can prove. But you know how quarians are." Tom replied.

Tali clenched her fists.

"Oh, I think I do." Shepard answered, but Tali could hear the heat in his voice.

"Has anyone thought to check in the shops to see if maybe the volus dropped the chit?" Tali asked acidly.

This seemed to take Tom and the volus aback. "Well, no," They admitted.

"We'll be right back then. Tali, stay here and keep Tom company. Wouldn't want him to do anything rash." Garrus said, and he and Shepard turned to search the nearby shops.

For the first time, the volus and Tom seemed to notice just how heavily armed Tali was. Tom averted his eyes and went back to entering something into his data pad, while the volus shuffled nervously.

"Thank you." Lia whispered.

"No problem." Tali answered, "We look out for each other."

In a few moments, Garrus and Shepard were back. "Are you Kor Tun?" Shepard demanded.

"Yes, I am, why?" The volus answered.

"Because someone named Kor Tun left his credit chit at Saronis Applications." Garrus answered dead pan. "So unless Lia stole your chit and left it helpfully with the clerk, you dropped it."

"Oh, thank you." Kor answered, seemly disappointed that he wouldn't get to see a quarian run in, "But she could have stolen it."

"Well then I guess your all free to go, but don't let me catch you getting into trouble again." Tom said, putting away his data slate.

Tali sputtered, but Shepard grabbed Tom's arm, and Garrus had his mandibles spread in Kor's direction in a manner even Tali found disturbing.

"What?" Tom snapped.

"'Don't let me catch you getting into trouble?' Seriously?" Shepard demanded.

"Yeah, why?" Tom sulked.

"You just harassed this poor girl for no reason, and now you give her a warning? You owe her an apology, and from now on you might want to consider treating quarians like sentient beings." Shepard responded, shaking Tom slightly.

"Ok, fine, I'm sorry about the whole thing." Tom grumbled in Lia's general direction.

"You had better be, because if I ever hear from Tali that any C-Sec officer is giving quarians a hard time again, Councelor Anderson and Captain Bailey are going to take an active interest in your career. And it won't be a healthy one for you." Shepard growled, and released Tom, who scamped off.

Garrus finally shut his mandibles after giving a similar talk to Kor, who waddled off as fast as his stubby legs could carry him.

"Thanks, you guys really saved me there." Lia whispered.

"Just making sure justice for all isn't just a saying." Shepard said with a nod.

"How are you doing?" Tali asked Lia.

"Ok, I guess. I eat in a turian soup kitchen and sleep in an alley most days, but I'm getting by." Lia answered.

"Have a decent meal tonight, on me." Garrus told Lia, reaching into a pouch and pulling out several nutrient tubes he kept for emergencies.

"You mean it?" Lia asked, her voice breathless.

"Probably. Better take them before I go into scary turian mode again." Garrus answered with a wink.

"Wow, thanks!" Lia said giddily as she took the tubes.

While she was distracted, Tali slipped an unmarked credit chit into Lia's pouch. It wasn't much, but it would let Lia sleep in a decent bed for a few days.

Lia scampered off with her treasures, and Tali studied Garrus and Shepard as they watched the young quarian go.

"What is going on?" Tali whispered to herself.

She knew something was still wrong, and that Garrus and Shepard were not their old selves. However, she had just seen proof that the goodness inside them was not dead. And maybe, with a little help, it could stop being mostly dead.

_Unna'Karis: That seems to be quite the shift from situation to situation._

_Tali'Zorah: It was, and while it took me a while to figure those two out, once I did, I understood why they were being so duplicitous. _

Authors Note:

Man, that was a long time between updates! Worry not though, I am no longer working full time and going to school full time, and will be starting my student teaching soon. I will have a bit more free time (but not much) in the spring. Until then though, I am going to be writing furiously over winter break to give this story some much needed love :)


	26. Chapter 23: Where is Heaven?

Chapter 23: Where is Heaven

_Unna'Karis: So, did you find out what was bothering Shepard?_

_Tali'Zorah: Yes. And it was something that would haunt him for years to come, though he stayed mostly silent. _

After helping Lia, Tali made her way back to the Normandy. She didn't want to see Garrus and Shepard murder anyone in cold blood, and they obviously didn't need her help to do it. Her thoughts were a muddled mess of loathing, thankfulness, and wistful memories of the past. She needed someone to talk to desperately, but didn't know who. Shepard and Garrus would have been her first choices normally, but they were the ones she wanted to talk about. If Wrex had been there she could have talked to him, or Liara, or any one from the original Normandy. Joker was there, but Joker was not a person Tali felt comfortable discussing anything deeper then music and alcohol with. Then Tali remember the other member of the original Normandy's crew on board, and hurried on board to the med bay.

"Ah, Tali, it's good to see you again." Dr Chakwas called as Tali entered her domain, "I'm glad you're here, Shepard needs all the old friends he can find."

Tali smiled at doctor Chakwas, bobbing her head as well since the smile was invisible to anyone but her. Some days, she longed to be able to show her face to another and this was one of them.

"Hello Doctor Chakwas, I was hoping to be able to talk to you about just that." Tali answered.

"Oh?" The doctor asked, raising an inquisitive eyebrow, "Why don't you take a seat and tell me what's on your mind."

Tali glanced at the projector where the AI could pop up. "Is it ah, safe to talk frankly here?"

That got Chakwas's attention. "EDI, could you turn off all the monitoring in this section for a few minutes while I talk to Tali? Doctor patient confidentiality."

"Monitoring will be disabled until Tali'Zorah leaves your compartment Doctor Chakwas." The electronic feminine voice chimed.

An invisible weight lifted from Tali's shoulders. EDI's presence still bothered her, though at times she forgot she was now living on a ship with an AI.

"Now, what do you want to talk about Tali?" The doctor asked.

Tali sank into a chair across from her, fiddling her fingers nervously. "It's Shepard and Garrus. I know it's been two years but..."

She explained about Shepard's and Garrus's treatment of Harkin, of their casual violence and cruelty and utter ruthlessness in combat, even more so then when they had fought Saren and the geth who hadn't even been really alive. She also mentioned their strange switch to kindness and empathy as soon as Lia had appeared. When she finished, Tali looked up at doctor Chakwas, who was frowning as she stared off into the middle distance.

"I'm afraid my own observations of Shepard and Garrus's behavior match up with your own rather disturbingly. I was hoping it was just the cold facts I was getting in reports that I paged through or observations from crew members who didn't know them as well as I, but you know Garrus and Shepard better than anyone else on this ship, aside from possibly Joker." Chakwas told Tali.

"In fact, Shepard's handling of several situations so far have been downright disturbing. He casually executed wounded and sick, did several rather dirty deeds for a crime lord on Omega with no obvious hesitation or remorse and has even come back from shore leave drunk and needed to be treated for sexually transmitted diseases. And Garrus was with him for most of those actions."

Tali's breath caught. She had known Shepard was no blushing virgin like she was, but the thought of him with a whore...

"Do you... Do you have any knowledge of what brought those changes on?" Tali asked.

Dr. Chakwas hesitated, then shook her head. "I don't, I'm only responsible for the physical health of the crew and physically both are health as ever, aside from the usually battle scars and the STD's. You know, I don't think Shepard was sexually active the entire time he was aboard the Normandy, even with Ashley? Now it's almost as if he's being careless, there are plenty of precautions he could take but he isn't."

Tali clenched her fists in frustration. "So there's nothing we can do and no further clues."

Again, Chakwas hesitated. "There is something we can do, and an expert we can call who has a full psych evaluation of both Shepard and Garrus."

"Who?" Tali demanded.

"Well..."

A few minutes later, the door slid open and bottle of sunshine mixed with boundless energy and enthusiasm bounced into the med bay.

"What's up doc?" Kelly Chambers giggled as she smiled at Tali and the doctor.

Inwardly, Tali groaned again. Kelly was Cerberus despite her cheery demeanor, and Tali trusted that happy veneer about as far as she could throw Kelly, which couldn't be more than a couple of meters.

"Have a seat Miss Chambers. Tali and I were discussing the rather disturbing actions of the Commander and Garrus Vakarian. We were hoping you could shed a little light onto the situation."

"I see." Kelly said, suddenly much more somber. She still brimed with engery, but now there was a touch of sadness in her voice. She sat on Dr. Chakwas's desk instead of the proffered chair, crossing her legs and swinging them back and forth as she leaned back slightly.

"Shepard is suffering from one of the most severe cases of post-tramatic stress syndrome I have ever seen. He was after all, fully dead for almost two years. No one else has ever been brought back from the dead with science. Revived yes, but not once all brain and cellular activity has ceased. The mental trauma was forseen by the Illusive Man and Operative Lawson and I was placed here as his Yeoman to observe and assess his mental health."

Kelly paused, frowning in thought for a moment. Tali couldn't take it. "And?" She prompted.

"And he's passed every eval I can throw at him. He's not only fit for duty, if anything he's faster, better, and more mentally able then before. But something is deeply wrong. It's not anything the Illusive Man or Operative Lawson are interested in, and frankly if it wasn't for the fact that my sister is a priest in the catholic church I wouldn't have given this much credit either. From what I know of Shepard before he died, though he was a deeply spiritual man who read his bible regularly and attended religious services whenever possible."

"What does this have to do with anything?" Tali interrupted, tired of Kelly's ramblings.

Kelly frowned absently at Tali. "I'm getting there. Anyway, you should know that I put a bible in Shepard's chambers out of considerations for his religious habits. EDI reports that it was recycled two days after Shepard took up residency, and that he had spent several hours staring at it, talking and yelling at it, flipping through it, crying, praying, and finally ripping out pages in a rage while he threw it down the compactor. And he has not attended a single religious service, despite there being a non-denominational chaplain aboard who holds weekly services."

This news stunned Tali and Chakwas.

"He threw away his bible? Your sure?" Chakwas asked in a choked voice.

Kelly nodded grimly. "Positive. I told Operative Lawson, but she just laughed and said Shepard was growing up. While normally I accept any religion, especially one as lovingly expressed as Shepard's faith was, and also believe people should be allowed to change their religion or blend it as they see fit Shepard's actions are deeply disturbing. He is no longer the hero we remember. Shepard was a man who drew his morality, his sense of honor, his very identity from his religion. And he's literally thrown that away."

"But his god meant everything to him!" Tali exclaimed, "He was always going on about Jeebus and praying!"

Kelly giggled suddenly and Tali and Chakwas glared at her. "I'm sorry Tali, that's just so cute! 'Jeebus.' I can see what Shepard sees in you."

Tali's mouth dropped open and she made a slightly strangled sound. Chakwas rested her head in her palm and sighed heavily.

"Kelly, for someone with a psychology degree, that was a truly moronic thing to say." Chakwas groaned.

Kelly was on her feet in an instant, and by Tali's side the next, resting her hand Tali's shoulder her face a mask of sorrow and regret. "I'm sorry Tali, it just slipped out. I'm almost as worried about Shepard and Garrus as you are."

"What's wrong with Garrus?" Tali croaked, trying hard to focus on something other then the crash of emotions she was feeling. Shepard saw something in her? Did he see how much she cared for him? Did he love her? Did he want her to say she loved him? Did he need her to wait until she approached him and said he loved her? Should she hug him and tell him it would be alright? Did she need him to hug her and tell her the same thing? She blanked it out and tried to focus on Kelly's words.

"Garrus's case is relatively simpler and not as dramatic, though it is just as damaging especially since Shepard and he feed off each other. Garrus has lost a team, something any leader must face eventually. He's also come to the point where he has found his own limitations, something no young man likes to find. He's growing up, and it hurts, but I think he'll be fine if he can have a few positive influences that are not wallowing in their own existential crisis." Kelly answered, though she seemed to be studying Tali's face intently, for all the good it would do with the visor down.

"Oh." Tali managed.

Kelly rubbed Tali's shoulder. "I'm sorry for springing that on you Tali, but I really thought you knew. I mean, everyone else knows he's pining for you, just like we all know you have the biggest crush on him anyone has ever seen."

Tali turned to Chakwas, who nodded. "Tali, it's been painfully obvious to everyone except Shepard since you came aboard the first Normandy that you were in love with him. And frankly, since you've come aboard it's been so obvious your on Shepard's mind that Joker has a betting pool going for when the two of you finally get together. And I think Kelly's money was on the day after tomorrow."

Kelly pouched her lip out slightly. "I'm sorry! I just want to see the two of you happy! I was going to give the credits to Hands of Hope, the Citadel children's hospital."

Tali tilted her head slightly and glanced at Chakwas, who rolled her eyes.

"I hate to say it Tali, but as far as I can tell Kelly really is just as good as she acts. Honest to Betsy, she tried to rescue a baby varren Grunt was going to eat!"

"It was just so cute! It's not the varren's fault everyone thinks they are vicious killing machines!" Kelly burst out.

At that, Tali fell sideways in her chair, laughing deliriously. It was that, or burst into tears, which were streaming down her face anyway. Kelly worked for Cerberus, and she was so kind she tried to rescue vicious monsters that deserved every gram of their reputation as lethal, smelly, slobbering weapons that they had worked long and hard to achieve. And not only was Shepard in love with her and she with him, everyone but the two of them had known it and was gambling on when they would get together!

"Oh keelah, this is just too much." Tali wheezed.

"I know it's hard Tali, but the galaxy needs Shepard. And right now, I think he needs you. He lost his moral compass, and I think he sees you as a pure, innocent girl. He's basing a good chunk of what he thinks is good off of you right now."

"I couldn't stop him and Garrus from murdering Sidonis." Grumbled Tali.

"What about Sidonus?" Shepard asked as he walked through the door, supporting a strange turian between Garrus and himself.

"It's going to be alright Sidonis, your safe now." Garrus said quietly.

Tali felt her jaw drop.

Chakwas was instantly up, checking Sidonus's vitals. "Elevated heart rate and blood pressure, but no visible wounds. Any injuries?" She asked, her voice calm and professional.

"Just a panic attack. We brought him aboard for you to check him out while we get him some new papers. He needs to go into hiding from the merc groups." Garrus answered calmly.

"No, they're not after me Garrus. They were after you. They just tortured me and let me go. And I ran, didn't even try to warn you or the team. I was afraid of more, then I was afraid of you. You should have just killed me." Sidonus said dejectedly.

Garrus's looked at Shepard, and something passed between the two. Then he looked back at Sidonis. "It wasn't your fault. Every man has his breaking point, even turians can only take so much torture before we break."

"But they didn't do much to me, mostly just beat me up, jabbed me with a few needles and I sang like a bird." Sidonis replied, sitting down on the bed Chakwas had led him to as she examined him carefully.

"But you didn't just tell them. They had to force it out of you." Shepard answered, "It's like Garrus said. Everyone breaks eventually. You're not a coward, with true serium and a good trashing I've seen good men reduced to babbling wrecks. You need help Sidonis, not condemnation."

"That's enough you two. Everyone except Kelly out. We're the doctors, and we will put this soldier back together. Out."

Chakwas shooed Tali out with Garrus and Shepard, and the three stood around awkwardly as Kelly and Chakwas went to work.

"So. You didn't kill him." Tali managed after a few moments.

Garrus and Shepard glanced at one another and shrugged simualtaniously.

"Well, you we're so upset when I shot Harkin that I figured Shepard was worried you would leave if we killed Sidonis. And I couldn't have my best friend crying over losing you. Again." Garrus said lamely.

Shepard punched Garrus in the arm, and Garrus spread his mandibles in mock anger and rubbed his arm like it was broken.

"We thought about what you said, and I convinced Garrus to hear Sidonis's side first. We could always have killed him if he really had sold Garrus's squad out." Shepard told Tali, not quite meeting her eyes.

"So, yeah. We talked. Turns out he was captured by the Blue Suns. They roughed him up a bit, put a few drugs in his system and he sang like a volus. Still a dirty coward, but not a traitor. Not everyone can hold up under torture for long." Garrus explained. "When he told me... A few things clicked. Like the way he had sounded when he gave me that call, and the medical history of counseling I found under his alias and signs of trauma that still haven't faded from his body. It's only been a few months and he didn't get the treatment to heal quite right." Garrus finished, then sighed, looking through the glass at Sidonis. "I guess I wasn't the only one who lost my team."

"It'll be alright buddy." Shepard said, putting an arm around Garrus. "Come on, I know a good medicine for what ails you."

"Going to mass?" Tali blurted out.

Garrus and Shepard's gazes swung to her simultaneously. "What did you say?" Shepard asked slowly.

"Going to mass?" Tali ventured nervously, clawing at her memory for a dimly remember conversation with Garrus and desperately trying to find a way to get Shepard back to normal. If that meant getting right with Jeebus or going to some vampiric cult meeting, Tali was all for it. She wanted her old commander back. "You know, those religious services you attended with Garrus that one time?"

Shepard's face grew hard, and Garrus shot Tali a look that screamed, "Shut up."

"I'm done with religion." Shepard spat."I've already died, and there was no heaven, no angles, no god. It was all a waste of time."

That wasn't exactly what Tali had wanted to hear. "Well, what about the Jeebus juice?" She tried again.

Shepard's face softened and he smiled at Tali, then chuckled softly. "That brings back memories."

Garrus grinned and seized an opening. "You know, getting drunk sounds pretty good right now. You coming Tali?"

"Of course! Someone has to keep an eye on you two. But no whores! Even asari ones." Tali admonished.

Shepard and Garrus both looked down and managed to look supremely guilty.

"Uh, that won't be a problem with you along." Shepard mumbled.

"There goes the evening." Garrus grumbled, though Tali could tell his heart wasn't in it.

Taking the two of them by the hands, Tali led them to the elevator. "Well then, let's go do what Jeebus would do." She declared.

For some reason, that statement caused first Shepard, then Garrus to dissolve into gales of laughter. Honestly. They weren't even drunk yet!

The rest of the day was spent on one of the most epic bender's and bar crawls the citadel had ever seen. Later, establishment's would put up advertisements where Shepard, Tali, and Garrus drunkenly called in chorus, "Thish esh our faaaavorite plashe on the *hic* shitadel," along with placards that declared "Shepard Drank Here."

Unfortunately, as it turned out the same advertisement was given to every alcohol serving establishment on the entire station, in varying levels of coherence and sobriety, it didn't bring in nearly as much business as bartenders had hoped when they had allowed the hero of the citadel and his friends to drink for free. It would later be pondered how exactly the trio had managed to visit all 5,328 locations, sometimes at the same time stamp. The conclusion was reached that since Shepard had already managed to come back from the dead, he had either also discovered how to be in multiple places at once or some proprietors were lying. Since no one would admit to dishonesty everyone agreed that Shepard was magic.

Tali awoke the next morning in engineering to find her face mask had a smiley face painted on it in blue asari lipstick, and from her foggy memories drew the conclusion that her "no strippers" stipulation had been fragrantly violated. By her. And that she had several new nerve stimulator applications she had no memory of either purchasing or installing. Tali immediately deleted them all.

"That must have been one o' the most amazing nights in the history of the citadel." A painfully loud voice observed right inside Tali's skull.

"Take it easy Ken. She's probably go the mother of all headaches right now." A harpy screeched in Tali's other ear.

"Not so looooud." Tali whimpered as her medication and detox programs kicked in.

"Looks like your right Gabby! What I wouldn't have given to go with them! Have you seen the footage of Garrus and Shepard trying to sing, 'My Bonnie Lies Over the Stars? In the council chambers?"

"I did, did you see the pictures Tali sent everyone of two asari kissing her?"

"That I did, though I didn't like it near as much diagrams of her 'emergency induction port.'"

A straw rolled out from under Tali, clearly labeled in her neat hand writing "Emergency Induction Port."

"It was hardly up to code in my opinion Ken."

"If you two don't shut up, I'm going to put this induction port right up your noses." Tali mumbled as she fumbled for the "Induction Port" and sat up.

"I believe you mean up our arses," Ken said cheerfully, bending down and grabbing the straw, which he promptly put up his nose.

"Ken! You don't know where that has been!" Gabby scolded, snatching the straw away and throwing it in a hazardous waste bin.

Ignoring the banter, Tali ran a check for infections. She appeared to be clean, but that didn't mean anything.

"Shut up you two." She growled half heartedly, then stumbled over and started to tinker. Her meds were starting to kick in, and before long she felt almost quarian again.

Gabby and Ken stayed mostly quiet, though occasionally one of them would steal a glance at Tali's misery and snigger slightly before glare sent them back to their tasks. After a while, the Normandy left the Citadel's docks and got underway, and Tali lost herself in her tasks. Gabby and Ken stopped trying to show her pics or news casts of her antics the night before, and things were finally getting back to normal.

The elevator hissed open, and Shepard walked out, disgustingly bright eyed and bushy tailed. "Gabby, Ken, I think Dr. Solus needs some assistance up in his lab." He called.

Ken poked his head out from underneath the panel. "Are you sure Commander? I don't recall any-"

He was cut off as Gabby, smiling broadly, grabbed the still protesting Ken by the arm and dragged him to the elevator.

Shepard watched, a look of perplexsion on his face, then he shrugged and turned to Tali. She felt her heart beat quicken. Was this where Shepard declared his love for her?

"I wanted to thank you for yesterday. Garrus and I needed someone to be there, and you were. You being here means a lot to me Tali. You being here and keeping me and Garrus on the straight and narrow... Well, it helps to know I have someone as trustworthy and caring as you at my back." Shepard said with a smile on his face.

"Oh?" Tali prompted, hoping for more.

Shepard sighed. "And you were right," Tali felt her heart skip a beat, "About Sidonis." And it all came crashing down. "I guess I've been a little to eager to shoot first and ask questions later and it's influenced the whole crew. I need you here Tali, by my side to keep me on the up and up. I can't do this alone, but with you and Garrus here we will make it through."

All Tali's hopes shattered. Shepard wasn't here for a confession of love, she was just a friend to him, still. He still saw that little girl. To be fair, to Shepard's mind she still was. He spent the last two years mostly dead after all.

"I'll be here for you Shepard, as long as you need me." Tali answered, doing her best to sound upbeat.

"Thank you Tali." Shepard said, grinning broadly. He turned to go, but stopped and turned back with a smile. "And just so you know, Prega and Nuna had a lovely time as well. For someone insistant on no strippers, you certainly had a good time with those ladies."

With that, Shepard was gone, chuckling happily to himself.

"At least I made him feel better." Tali sighed. She didn't really want to just be Shepard's best female buddy, but she would take what she could get. She was starting to realize she was in love enough with Shepard that she really would do and be whatever Shepard needed from her. She genuinely cared for him and his happiness and safety were paramount to her.

After a while, a sourfaced Gabby and confused Ken came back down.

"Mordin really did need our help." Gabby grumbled.

Tali sighed. "I know. Shepard just wanted to say thanks for the party."

"Men." Growled Gabby, glaring at Ken.

The poor man threw up his hands. "Women!" He cried.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP! PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP! AND IF YOUR GETTING MYSOGINISTIC ON ME I WILL FUCK UP YOUR FACE WITH MY BRAIN!" An angry Jack yelled from the hold.

The engineers got back to work, quietly.

_Unna'Karis: Best friends, hard to swallow I'm sure_

_Tali'Zorah: Not as much as you might think. I was unsure if the biology would even work out, and I really did want to be there for him. _

_Unna'Karis: Did you manage to help shoulder his burdens?  
Tali'Zorah: That is something I wouldn't know for a very long time. _

Authors Note:

TO SOON! YOU HAVE UPDATED ME TO SOON EXECUTUS! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?


	27. Chapter 24: Growing Pains

Chapter 24: Growing Pains

_Unna'Karis: You spoke of the pain Shepard was going through, when did the healing begin?  
Tali'Zorah: I'm not quite sure exactly when, but I know where. On a dead planet, surrounded by the bodies of the fallen._

"Raaaaggghhh!" Another loud thud echoed through engineering accompanied by a bellow of rage.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP REPTILE!" An angry blue glow lit up underneath the main engineering platform and the sound of a biotic impact echoed through the chamber.

"That's it, I'm calling Shepard." Tali muttered.

For the past few days, engineering had sounded like a battlefield. Between Jack's constant swearing at the noise, Grunts screams of anger and assaults on the bulkhead Tali was growing a massive migraine. Not being able to remember what exactly had happened on the citadel, Shepard's continued oblivion and a growing sense of disunity with the rest of the crew were not helping.

On the first Normandy, Tali had felt like she was a member of a crew, which to a quarian was like being family. This time around the only people Tali really connected with were Ken and Gabby because of their work, and Dr. Chakwas and Kelly Chambers. Chakwas was happy to reminisce about old times with Tali and offer a sympathetic ear and advise regarding Garrus and Shepard. Kelly had turned to be so nice and friendly Tali couldn't help but like her. She even forgot that Kelly was Cerberus, especially when Kelly began sending Tali pictures of sickeningly cute small animals Kelly had rescued. And a few not so cute ones, but that just showed how big Kelly's heart was.

"I have already alerted the Commander, Engineer vas Neema." EDI's voice chimed as a blue orb appeared next to Tali, "While my structural integrity has not been compromised, the explosions makes it ever so hard to plot the down fall of organics."

Tali emitted a strangled sound before the orb pulsed once, as if winking. "That was a joke Engineer vas Neema. I had forgotten that you do not respond well to humor. I must discuss this with Mr. Moreau."

The orb disappeared, and Tali administered a dose of painkillers for her now full-fledged migraine. AI's should not be allowed to try to develop a sense of humor, they caused enough problems without that.

After a moment, the elevator hissed open, and Shepard flanked by the cheerleader and Dr. Solus appeared. "What seems to be the problem?" The commander asked, frowning as he walked over to Tali.

"Well, between the psychotic biotic in my crawl space and the insane krogan things have gotten a little out of hand down here." Tali said in exasperation, throwing her hands up in frustration.

"Don't blame me. That fucking reptile keeps banging away at the wall. I just get jumpy." Jacks voice said, and Tali spun to find the tattooed woman floating before the reactor core, glaring down at the group.

The salarian spoke up, "Hmm, impressive. Self levitation difficult if not impossible for most biotics. Subject zeros strength" Solus paused to let out a short snort of breath, "grows."

"Yeah whatever Mr. Exposition." Jack snorted as she landed on the deck, "Anyway, either get the krogan to quiet down or I'll space him myself."

"No one is doing any spacing without my say so. Cerberus has invested to much in all of you." The bosh'tet broke in.

"I'm in command here Miranda." Shepard snapped, then turned to Tali, "Tali, stay here and keep everyone from killing each other. Mordin, come with me. We're going to find out what's wrong with Grunt."

The two men walked off, leaving the three woman standing in a circle, glaring at one another.

"Well since neither of you called his ass, I'm going to fucking try to get a piece." Jack suddenly interjected with a malicious grin.

"Do what?" Tali asked, mystified.

"Bang Shepard." Jack answered.

Miranda spluttered, "Shepard's not- You can't just-"

It took Tali a moment to process just what exactly Jack was getting at, and then rage boiled up inside her. Suddenly, it dissolved in a moment of clarity, and Tali started laughing. "You can't be..." She said, then a fit of giggles took her.

"What! The fuck is wrong with you!" Jack snapped, her eyes blazing.

"You honestly think Shepard is just a... a toy?" Tali gasped, still shacking with laughter, "You may be a biotic super being, but you don't know Shepard very well."

"If you know him so well, why haven't the two of you bumped uglies?" Jack sneered. "It's obvious you've got the hots for him, and you've had him alone often enough to do the deed."

Miranda was still sputtering incoherently, apparently unable to believe what was happening.

"Because that's not all it's about." Tali said, finally regaining control and standing up straight.

"Then what IS it about?" Jack exploded, and Miranda tattooed eyebrow, then nodded for Tali to continue.

"It's about being there for one another. Caring for one another, supporting each other when no one else is there and loving each other!" Tali pronounced, folding her arms across her chest.

It was Jack's turn to burst out laughing. "Girlie, I've loved more boys and girls then I can count, but I ain't never done any of that shit with anyone. We're all alone in the galaxy, we just keep each other warm for a while."

Miranda just looked at Tali thoughtfully, as if seeing her for the first time.

Shaking her head, Tali grinned behind her mask. "Shepard already feels like he's alone Jack. He needs someone to remind him he's not. If he wanted what you're offering, he just would buy another whore."

"YOU BITCH!" Jack screamed, and her eyes glowed blue as she drew back her fist.

Tali was ready though, and with the press of a button, something sparked in Jack's head and she groaned in agony and sank to her knees.

Tali knelt down and gave the woman a shot of medi-gel mixed with a sedative. "That was a pretty nasty shock I just gave your implant. Miranda should probably take you to Dr. Chakwas. After that, I'm telling Kelly she needs to have a few sessions with you."

"Don't wanna talk to Sparkles again." Muttered Jack, glaring at Tali sullenly as she clutched her head.

"I don't think I asked if you did, and you're not coming back in my engineering bay until 'Sparkles' and Dr. Chakwas sign off on you. Understand?"

"Fine. Bitch." Jack mumbled as Tali and Miranda helped the biotic to her feet.

Tali watched as Miranda and Jack stumbled to the elevator and shook her head again. It was painfully obvious that she was going to have to do something regarding Shepard, but what she didn't know. When she and Ven had started to develop romantic feelings for one another, he had always been the one to start things. Oh, Tali had dropped hints and been a willing participant in flirting, but Ven was always the one to get things going. Shepard was so far gone in his own misery though Tali wasn't sure what he could see, aside from someone to be a friend with.

A small groan of exasperation escaped Tali's lips. It wasn't like she didn't want to be Shepard's friend, it was just that she wanted something more. She wanted to care for him, to be protected by him and to touch him and he her. The thought of Shepard's fingers on her bare skin... Tali felt a tremor run down her spin and a warmness suffused her body. That would be wonderful.

Footsteps from Grunt's chamber broke Tali's concentration and she turned to see Shepard and Mordin returning.

"Well?" She asked.

"Cross referenced with EDI. Diagnosis, inconclusive. Krogan biology still mystery. Specialized in very specific areas, never ran into this." Dr. Solis answered, then leaned in close and put a hand to the side of his mouth, and in a stage whisper said, "Shepard wouldn't allow experimentation with chemical suppressants. No fun at all."

Tali felt her eyes widen and glanced at Shepard, who rolled his eyes and grinned. "He's kidding Tali. But we're going to Tuckanka."

That threw Tali for a loop. "Won't that take away from our mission to stop the Collectors?"

Shepard shrugged. "At this point, we don't have many leads and frankly even if we did with this team we'd probably all end up dead. We've got some good assets but were not battle ready yet."

"Tell me about it." Tali groaned, "I just had to incapacitate Jack and send her off to the med bay. She's got some serious problems."

"Sounds like team doesn't trust one another. Shepard is unquestioned leader, others places not so firm. Will take time to sort out." Morin observed.

"And that's just the thing." Shepard sighed. "We don't know how much time we have. All we can do for now is gather resources and experience."

Mordin nodded. "Should look into problem I mentioned on Tuckanka as well. Possibly find spilt into groups, designate second team lead. Miranda technically XO, but untested, untrusted."

"Good plan doctor." Shepard agreed, "You're not suggesting yourself as a possible team lead are you?"

Morin shook his head vigorously. "No, have had experience but not well suited. Good at leading research projects: clear discernible goal with time to plan and react. Good in combat alone, but not at directing others. To focused on own actions. Would recommend Garrus, experienced, well liked. Not connected to Cerberus, important for several team members."

Shepard's brows knit together in a thoughtful expression. "I also trust him more than anyone on this ship but Tali." Shepard looked at Tali, "What do you think, Garrus up for leading a team?"

Tali's first instinct was to say no after what she had seen Garrus do to Harkin, but then she thought of the way he treated Lie. Of how everyone liked to listen to Glarus's jokes, how he kept his head in a fight. Even the stunts with Harkin had obviously been carefully thought out and planned to generate a desired effect, which they had. He had also managed to successfully lead a team of mercenaries for months with no casualties until one of his team mates was compromised and tortured.

That spoke better of Garrus then of the experience Tali had had. She had kept her team alive, but it had fractured and bickered for months before it finally imploded. Tali knew she could lead when she had to, but she much preferred to follow and didn't have much confidence in her own leadership. Garrus on the other hand projected an air of cocky assurance and was able to even inspire Grunt, who had the standard krogan biases against turians.

"Garrus is a good choice. Even Grunt would follow his lead, if only because he knows Garrus will lead him to a good fight." Tali answered.

Shepard nodded. "I would trust Miranda to lead, but she's got her own agenda, not to mention the fact that only Jacob, Mordin and possibly Zaheed would follow her willingly and unquestioningly."

"An accurate assessment." Mordin agreed. "I would follow, know how to take orders. Others not so well disciplined. Not slur, just observation."

That was an assessment Tali had to agree with. Personally, she had a hard time taking anyone but Grunt and Shepard's orders at face value. Whenever she listened to a Cerberus member, she had to wonder what their hidden agenda was, and if she were to listen to any other member of the crew, she would likely second guess them. Mordin had his head in the clouds, Ahead was to prone to irrational acts of violence, Kasumi was too sneaky, Grunt too inexperienced. She could work with them, but follow them? Not likely.

Suddenly, the ramifications of their destination dawned on Tali. "You said we're heading to Tuckanka, you don't think that we will run into Wrex do you?"

Shepard nodded. "Actually, from the intel I have from Cerberus Wrex is running the show on Tuckanka. He'll probably be the first person to ask regarding what exactly is wrong with Grunt."

Tali smiled and clapped her hands. "Excellent! I haven't been able to contact Wrex since he left the Normandy. I'm looking forward to seeing him."

As it turned out, the Normandy was already close enough to a Mass Relay that getting to Tuckanka only took a few hours. Tali used the time to repair most of the damage caused by Jack and Grunt, who was excitedly pacing in front of the shuttle.

"Quarian, you have met the great Urdnot Wrex?" Grunt demanded as they boarded the shuttle.

Tali sighed. "Yes Grunt, though to me, he is Uncle Wrex."

"Uncle?" Grunt asked. "The tank gave me no meaning for this word, other than the brother of your mother. Was your mother krogan?"

"No Grunt, think battlemaster, but with more hugs and kisses." Garrus interrupted with a chuckle.

"You... Hugged the great Urdnot Wrex?" Grunt asked, clearly confused.

"Just like this!" Kelly answered happily, giving Grunt a great big squeeze. "Now doesn't that make you feel better?"

Shepard turned around from cleaning his weapons. "Kelly? What are you doing here?"

"Sparkles decided I needed babysitting." Jack grumbled from the bench across from Shepard.

"Sparkles?" Garrus asked, his mandibles twitching in amusement.

"That is not true!" Kelly pouted. "I'm here to observe the krogan in their native environment so I can form a baseline comparison for grunt. There's just so little research into krogan psychology, I think I might even be able to gather some data for a journal article!"

"That's fucking wonderful sweetheart. This has nothing to do with you deciding," Jack dropped into an imitation of Kelly's bright falsetto, "That I had 'severe social anxiety' and needed 'an outlet to vent my fucking emotions.'"

"Only a little." Kelly answered cheerily.

Mordin and Shepard exchanged an exasperated look.

"Might need this." Mordin told Kelly, handing her a Carnifex Heavy pistol.

"Why would I need a gun?" Kelly asked, holding the pistol in one hand and pointing it in Tali's direction.

Gingerly pointing the Carnifex away, Tali answered, "Because even the nicest, most cultural krogan I ever met still only respected you if you were any good with a weapon."

"Oh. Shouldn't I have something a little smaller?" Kelly asked, holstering the weapon in her bright magenta body armor.

"It is small." Grunt grunted.

"Krogan usually able to shrug off small calibers. Need heavy firepower. Not just to impress, practical too." Mordin added.

Kelly seemed to accept this, and went back to happily talking to Jack about "Expressing her emotions." Jack's expression was somewhere between "Forced root canal" and "Day at the DMV." That is, until Grunt decided he need to express his emotions too, and in total sincerity, asked if the crayon drawing of a dinosaur me made counted as an appropriate emotional outlet. To everyone's shock, he even proudly displayed the dinosaur drawing on a sheet of white paper. It looked vaguely like a krogan with a longer tail and much larger teeth, happily chomping down on turians who were dripping bright red waxy blood.

Kelly loved it and called it "an expression of Grunt's inner being." Everyone else suddenly developed a hideous chest cough save Jack, who just looked relieved Kelly' s attentions were being directed elsewhere.

"We don't even bleed that color." Garrus wheezed to Tali.

"I think he probably just didn't have any dark blue crayons." Tali whispered back.

Before Grunt could go into detail about how he was certain Tyrannosaurus Rex was actually an ancestor of the krogan, the shuttle landed and the landing party disembarked.

"Hey, you can't land here, this is Clan Urdnot land!" A large, well armed krogan bellowed, striding over.

Grunt growled and stepped forward, positioning himself between the krogan and the rest of the party.

The krogan sniffed once, then blanched. "Feh, you stink." He glanced around Grunt at Shepard, who he identified as the leader. "You here to give your pet the rite?"

"I am no one's pet!" Grunt growled.

"Sure kid." The krogan said, shoving him aside absently.

"Is that what Grunt needs? The rite?" Shepard asked.

The strange krogan just laughed. "Well I'll be a roasted pyjak. I recognize your voice, and you smell just like that old armor the Clan Chief is always parading around in. You're the human Shepard, aren't you."

Shepard nodded.

"Well why didn't you say so!" The krogan laughed, spreading his stubby arms wide. He turned around and shouted, "Hey boys, your guest is here! Come collect him before his pet starts musking my landing pad!"

Grunt growled again and made as if to head butt the strange krogan, but Shepard put a restraining hand on Grunt.

"Easy there. Remember, this is home for you."

"Home." Grunt repeated, looking around. "This is not the land of glory the tank spoke of."

Only a cursory examination of her surroundings confirmed to Tali that Tuckanka was less than the glorious domain Wrex had made it out to be. Everywhere was rust, refuse and decay. Water dripped from caved in roofs and rubble lined the paths. It was a ruin, layers of decay piled on the corpse of the civilizations that had come before.

Tali shuddered, this was not a place she would want to call home. "Rannoch isn't likely to be any better after the geth." She muttered though.

They followed a pair of krogan along a dank passageway. Various other krogan stood around in the hallways, most in armor, all armed. At first, Tali thought they were staring at Kelly's blindingly bright pink armor, but then she realized they were all drawing looks.

"What are aliens doing here?" One warrior shouted to the guards.

"Clan business, here to see Chief." The guard grunted.

This seemed to satisfy the warrior, but Tali heard him muttering, "Huh. Never thought I'd see aliens on Tuckanka," as he pressed back against the wall.

Finally, they made their way into a large open area covered by a high vaulted ceiling of weathered concrete or rock. Fires burned at various points in the room to provide lighting, giving the room a flickering hazy light. Muted krogan voices could be heard, along with the discharge of weapons, the howling of varren and the shriek of pyjaks.

"It's like a great, feudal hall." Kelly whispered in awe.

"More like a stinking dung heap." Jack snorted.

"Mm. Dung heap. Good smells there." Grunt remarked.

Tali took a whiff of the air and decided that the dung heap remark was appropriate, and adjusted her filters accordingly. They walked forward to a raised dais lit by sunlight from a hole in the roof, where a massive krogan in ancient armor reclined upon a throne of bare rock while supplicant's clamored for his attention.

Upon seeing the strangers though, the great krogan chief stirred, bellowing for silence and shoving the protesting supplicant's aside.

"Shepard! My old friend!" Wrex, the great krogan and chief of clan Urdnot bellowed as he clasped Shepard's forearm. "I knew the void couldn't hold you."

"Been a long time Wrex. Looks like life's been good to you. Glad I didn't have to kill you on Virmire." Shepard answered with a grin.

"Ha!" Wrex laughed, "Virmire was the turning point for the clans. With Saren's poisonous influence gone I was able to unite the clans under Urdnot."

"And abandon old traditions in the process." Another ancient, massive krogan grumbled.

Without looking, Wrex turned and gave the protestor a crushing head butt. "Shut up, Uvenk. I'll drag your clan to glory whether it likes it or not"

A low rumble of laughter erupted from the assembled warriors, pounding their fists in approval. Uvenk retreated into a corner with his own retinue, who did their best to look grim and unamused.

Wrex turned back and caught sight of Tali. He grinned again. "My niece! Come over here and give your uncle a hug!" He bellowed.

Tali walked forward and embraced the old krogan. "Uncle Wrex, it's good to see you again."

Low murmurs erupted from the crowd. "See how he flaunts tradition? Embracing an alien as kin!" Uvenk whispered loud enough for it to carry around the hushed hall.

Wrex ignored the jib and held Tali back to study her. "You have chosen a clan now?" He asked.

"Yes, I am now Tali'Zorah vas Neema. I serve under Captain Han'Gerrel vas Neema, Admiral of the Heavy fleet as one of his warriors." Tali answered. It wasn't quite true, she wasn't an official member of the military but she did lead away teams and had more combat experience then most quarian marines.

"Excellent, I knew with my training and Shepard's influence, we'd make a warrior out of you!" Wrex crowed.

Tali bowed her head in thanks, and Wrex moved on.

"You're pink." He grunted, glaring at Kelly.

"'So may the outward shows be least themselves. The world is still deceived with ornament. In law, what plea so tainted and corrupt but, being seasoned with a gracious voice, obscures the show of evil?'" Kelly answered.

The assembled krogan were dumbstruck. Some because they couldn't believe anyone would address their chief in such an outrageous manner, but most because they couldn't quite figure out what this human was babbling about.

After a short calculating glance, Wrex answered, "'There is no vice so simple but assumes Some mark of virtue on his outward parts. How many cowards whose hearts are all as false as stairs of sand wear yet upon their chins the beards of Hercules and frowning Mars, who, inward searched, have livers white as milk, and these assume but valor's excrement to render them redoubted?'"

At this, Kelly bowed. "O Immortal gods, I am undone!"

"This make any sense to you?" Garrus whispered to Tali.

"Not at all." Tali answered softly.

Wrex just threw back his head and laughed. "A silver tongue this maiden has, careful now men, or she will ensnare you with her words."

Kelly arched one of her eyebrows. "That wasn't a Shakespearian quote."

Wrex wagged a finger at her. "Your last bit wasn't either, though it was a paraphrase I suppose."

"Still lost." Garrus whispered, and Tali nodded.

"Turian, stop whispering and speak up before I have to blow your fool head off for plotting behind my back!" Wrex bellowed, striding over to Garrus and pounding him on the back.

Smiling, Garrus pounded right back. "You couldn't hit the broad side of an elcor Wrex."

"Still on about being a better shot then me eh Garrus?" Wrex grinned.

Garrus's face took on an innocent expression. "Oh, not you Wrex."

"Good," Wrex grunted, "At least you finally admit it."

"Better than anyone actually." Garrus finished, examining his talons nonchalantly.

"That's the sprit!" Wrex rumbled, giving Garrus's back a final slam and moving on again.

He stopped at Mordin, his eyes narrowing in anger. Mordin looked back, nonplussed. The two stood there starting for several long, uncomfortable moments.

"We'll talk later. At length. In private." Wrex finally said without breaking eye contact.

"Excellent." Mordin answered.

The salarian and krogan broke their gaze simultaneously, and Wrex sidestepped the salarian to tower over Jack.

"Hm. You got juice kid. How much?" Wrex rumbled.

Jack suddenly glowed blue, her back arching as her head lolled back as if in ecstasy as her body rose from the ground, the air crackling with power.

Suddenly, Wrex reached out and spun Jack head over heels in the air, sending her pin wheeling through the air to land in a heap at the base of the dais.

"Not bad kid. Work on that situational awareness though." Wrex rumbled.

Tali expected an explosion of profanity, but Jack just stood up, spit the dirt from her mouth and gave Wrex a crisp nod. "I'll do that, old timer."

"See that you do." Grunted the krogan, and he turned to the last member of Shepard's party.

"You stink. What's your name child?" He demanded of Grunt.

"I am Grunt." Answered the younger krogan, staring back into Wrex's eyes almost gleefully.

Wrex nodded as if he expected that answer. "I see. Was your clan destroyed before you could learn what was expected of you?"

Grunt shook his head. "I have no clan. I was tank breed by Warlord Okeer. I was distilled from Kredak, Moro, Shiagur-"

Grunt was interrupted by shouts of disapproval and outrage.

"You recite warlords, but you are offspring of the syringe and test tube!" Uvenk interrupted.

"I am pure krogan!" Grunt replied, thumping his chest, "You should be in awe."

"Okeer is a very old name. A very hated name." Wrex rumbled, climbing back upon his thrown and gazing down, hunched over as he rubbed his chin.

"He is dead." Grunt answered.

Wrex grunted. "Naturally. You're with Shepard. How could he be otherwise?"

"I need him back up to speed," Shepard interrupted, "Can you tell me what's wrong with him?"

"Nothing." Wrex answered, still gazing at Grunt.

"They why is he acting so violent and strange? Even for a krogan, I mean." Tali asked.

"He is becoming a full adult." Wrex answered absently, still regarding Grunt thoughtfully as if pondering some deep mystery.

"Ah, puberty ritual." Mordin broke in, "Common among species with hormone driven reproductive urges."

"I don't care what you call it, salarian." Wrex snapped, coming out of his revelry, "Krogan undergo the Rite of Passage. That's what Grunt needs."

"To far! You go too far Wrex! Urdnot may rule, but this thing is not krogan." Uvenk declared, storming off with his warriors. A few other krogan leaders stomped off with him, but the majority stayed, looking to see what Wrex would do next.

"Idiot." Wrex snarled, glaring at the retreating Uvenk. He turned back to Grunt. "So, Grunt? Do you wish to stand with Urdnot?"

Grunt considered this for a moment, then looked to Shepard who nodded. "I do."

A slow smile played upon Wrex's lips. "Good. Then listen. We have much to discuss."

_Unna'Karis: Tuckanka? Hardly a place then of healing and growth._

_Tali'Zorah: Depends on what kind of healing you need. If you need a place to bury your dead, there is no better place. _

Authors Note:

Instant awesome, just add Wrex.


	28. Chapter 25: Rite of Passage

Chapter 25: Rite of Passage

_Unna'Karis: So what exactly happened on Tuchanka? Urdnot Grunt's rite was important to him and the krogan surely, but why to you and Shepard?  
Tali'Zorah: Grunt's rite was more than just his initiation into adult hood. It was when Shepard finally broke his shell. _

While Grunt and Shepard went to visit the shaman Wrex had sent them to for preparations for the rite, Tali wandered the hall with Kelly.

"So, you're Wrex's niece? How did that happen?" Kelly asked cheerily as they walked.

Tali laughed, "While I was with Shepard on the first Normandy Wrex sort of took me under his arm. He taught me a few combat maneuvers and looked out for me."

Tali glanced around, and leaned in close to whisper to Kelly, "Don't tell anyone, but he took me to see the Elcor rendition of Hamlet."

Kelly smiled and whispered back conspiratorially, "I know, I was in the audience."

This shocked Tali. "What? Really?"

Giggling, Kelly nodded, "Oh yes, it was my third time. I remember Wrex because there had never been a krogan in the audience before."

"And because he threatened that turian with serious bodily harm loud enough for the entire theater to hear." Tali added dryly.

Kelly winked. "Well, that too. And possibly his very loud, very enthusiastic discussion with the cast as I left the theater."

The memory brought fresh laughter. "Oh keelah, that was so embarrassing! I was afraid he was going to demand I stay and agree with him."

Kelly nodded, "Almost like an uncle?"

"Exactly like an uncle." Tali said firmly.

Suddenly, Kelly let out a sound halfway between a shriek and moan and clapped her hands.

"What? Where?" Tali asked, pulling out her shot gun and activating her combat drone.

"Omigoshthatisjustsocute!" Kelly squealed, the pitch of her voice nearly causing Tali's audio processers to overload.

"Slow down, what's the danger?" Tali repeated with a wince.

In response, Kelly skipped over to the ugliest varren Tali had ever seen and started babbling to it.

"Oos a good boy! You're a good boy, oh yes you are!" Kelly crooned as the varren flipped over to allow her to rub its belly.

"Huh. Didn't think something so... Pink would like old Urz here." The krogan by varren muttered, rubbing his jaw. "Or that he wouldn't just bite anyone that talked to him like that."

"Oh he likes it, don't you boy, don't you!" Kelly said.

"Huff." Urz answered, arching his back in pleasure.

Rolling her eyes, Tali holstered her shotgun and deactivated her omni tool. "Kelly, most people's reaction to a Varren run's closer to 'it's hideous' or 'run away' and screaming should be reserved for emergencies, not because something is cute."

Sniffing disdainfully, Kelly continued to rub the Varren's belly. "Oh please Tali. Like you haven't ever squealed over a cute animal or boy when you were a girl."

"Well, considering all the boys I grew up with keep their faces covered all the time and there's not much room for animals on the fleet, no." Tali replied acidly.

"Hmm." Kelly said, and for a moment Tali got the impression that Kelly's questions and reactions were a whole lot more calculated then they appeared. Something about how her eyes flashed at Tali's reply, and the way her face scrunched up ever so slightly. Like she was filing away information for later reference.

Before Tali could try to get to the bottom of things, she saw Shepard and Grunt heading over. Grunt had his face painted with a red streak on his muzzle and a white line across his eyes. A black triangle was on his boney brow, and his armor was decorated with a few animal motifs. Those however were in crayon and strongly resembled the drawing Grunt had shown off earlier.

"What's with the get up?" Tali asked.

"I have been marked for the Rite." Grunt answered, then continued, "Is it true you were trained by Urdnot Wrex?"

"Um, yes?" Tali answered cautiously, glancing and Shepard, who had a face that was remarkably composed. If it wasn't for the spasmodic twitching at his left eye and the fact that Tali had been around him long enough, she never would have known the commander was on the edge of devolving into hysterics.

"Excellent. Will you accompany me on the rite? I would like to take another trained by a great battlemaster, along with Shepard, who is my battlemaster." Grunt explained.

That explained a few things, and Tali nodded and smiled. "I would be honored to accompany you on your Rite Grunt. Wrex helped me on my pilgrimage which I supposed is a bit like your rite."  
"Good. Let's go then." Grunt rumbled, and turned and started making his way toward a cluster of old vehicles.

Tali and Shepard followed, and Tali leaned into the commander and whispered, "What's with the crayon drawings?"

"Grunt explained to the Shaman how he wanted to emulate the great Tyrannosaurs 'Wrex'. The shaman seemed to agree with Wrex's theory that the krogan were descended from it when he was showed the crayon drawing. He even drew a few on Grunt's armor when Grunt asked." Shepard whispered back.

"Aren't dinosaurs native to Earth only?" Tali whispered back.

This time, Shepard really did chuckle and grin. "Yes, but I don't think either the shaman or Grunt has a really good grasp on evolutionary biology. Maybe they're Designists."

"They're what?" Tali asked confused.

A pained expression came over Shepard's face, and he shook his head. "Nothing. Never mind."

Tali wasn't quite sure what had caused the sudden look of pain, but they were at the vehicle. More secrets from Shepard, and yet more signs that he was falling apart inside.

"What's with the animals kid?" The driver asked Grunt when they boarded the vehicle.

Grunt puffed out his chest and produced the crayon drawing. "They are Tyrannosaurus Wrex, an animal that devoured turians and feasted upon their skulls."

The shaman who was with them nodded. "We of clan Urdnot are descended from them. The clan chief is named for them because of all the foes he has destroyed in battle."

The driver took a moment to admire Grunt's handiwork, taking his eyes off the road and allowing the vehicle to slam into the sides of the ruins they were driving by.

"Pretty good, but turians bleed purple. Gotta get those details right." A guard remarked.

"Eyes on the road!" Tali shouted as a rather large mound of rubble grew prominent in the vehicles path.

The driver swerved at the last minute, but not without sending the vehicles occupants tumbling. Krogan were not big believers in seat belts.

"That's a pretty good drawing kid. I knew we of Clan Urdnot came from big predators. That explains why our leader is destined to lead us to such glory!" The driver crowed as they bowled through a field of boulders.

Tali and Shepard exchanged significant looks and shook their heads.

"That is horribly wrong." Tali muttered.

"I hate to tell them T-rexs actually turned into chickens." Shepard agreed.

"What are those?" Tali whispered.

Shepard gave another slight grin. "Really stupid birds. Bottom of the food chain, humans eat them by the dozen. And about as big as Grunt's head."

This dissolved both the quarian and human into silent laughter for the rest of the ride.

After a few minutes, the driver finally stopped by an ancient amphitheater. They disembarked and made their way through the swirls of dust up the stairs.

"This is Tuchanka's most recent scar." The shaman explained, "The last surface city to fall in the rebellions. The keystone was at his heart. It has survived wars and the passage of centuries. It endures, like the krogan."

The shaman pointed to a large button. "You must endure the keystone and it's trials."

"What will happen?" Grunt asked.

The shaman shrugged. "Who knows? You must adapt and survive like the krogan."

With that, the shaman and his guards made their way back down the stairs.

Grunt slammed his fist on the button, and a voice sounded. "FIRST THE KROGAN MASTERED TUCHANKA, AND MASTERED A WORLD ONLY WE WERE FIT to HOLD!"

Tali glanced around, knowing that couldn't be it. Suddenly, a deep thrumming sound came from within the key stone, like an anvil being struck.

"That can't be good." Tali muttered, drawing her shotgun.

Soon the sounds of yapping and snarling came from the ruins, and a pack of varren burst into the arena. As the squad gunned them down, Tali couldn't help but thinking, 'If Kelly were here, she'd call them cute and want to be friends. Right up until they ate her.'

It was all over in a matter of seconds. Grunt seemed to enjoy the fighting, bellowing, "I. AM. KROGAN!" As he blasted away.

"Well, that was easy enough." Tali remarked, slapping a fresh thermal clip into her weapon.

"Never say that Tali." Shepard groaned as Grunt slammed the button again.

"THEN THE KROGAN WERE LIFTED TO THE STARS, TO DESTROY THE FEARS OF A GALAXY. AN ENEMY ONLY WE COULD CHASE TO THEIR LAIR."

The deep sound of the anvil sounded again, louder this time.

"Oops." Tali innocently added.

A clicking, cittering sound sounded all around them.

"What's that?" Tali asked worriedly.

"Enemies!" Grunt shouted enthusiastically as a giant red armored bug skittered toward him.

"Rawr!" Grunt shouted as he first shot it, then slammed his head into it.

"Grunt no!" Shepard shouted, but it was too late for the warning.

The bug exploded in a fiery ball of chemical explosions and Grunt was flung back.

Tali hurried over and administered medi-gel. "Are you alright?"

Grunt spat and stood, then glanced down at his armor and moaned. "My drawings."

Rolling her eyes, Tali drew her pistol. "Long range for these Grunt."

"Fine. Less fun though."

Shepard went to work with his own assault rifle and grenades along side Tali's pistol fire and drone. The giant insects were down in only a few minutes.

"See, still not so bad." Tali quipped to Shepard as they reloaded.

"I guess not. There wouldn't be any adult krogan if they unleashed anything on their kids truly horrifying." Shepard admitted, just in time for Grunt to hit the button again.

"NOW THE KROGAN BEAR THE GENOPHAGE. OUR REWARD, OUR CURSE. THE FIGHT WHERE THE ONLY GOAL IS SURVIVAL."

The anvil was struck again, this time sending the squad to their knees in the ferocity of its blow.

"What's it calling this time?" Tali wondered, "Maybe giant Tyrannosaurs?"

"You think so!" Grunt asked enthusiastically.

"Probably just giant chickens, what do you think Shepard Tali asked, turning to the commander. He was staring out into the distance, back to Tali and Grunt.

"No..." He whispered softly.

Tali looked out to see what looked like a giant blue tree, blowing in the wind. "Funny, that wasn't there before."

"No!" Shepard said again, this time it was a whimper. "No-no-no-no-no-" He was babbling now, sinking to his knees, eyes wide in shock and terror.

"What's wrong Shepard?" Tali asked, coming to his side.

"They're back, I can hear them. They're mad, I died but didn't join them! I didn't come twice now!" Shepard panted, his head cradled in his arms.

"What are you-" Tali began, and then she heard an ear piercing shriek and looked up.

"Oh no." Tali whispered, cradling Shepard in her arms. "Thresher maw."

Shepard was sobbing uncontrollably now, and Tali hauled him over behind an armored covering as he continued to sob and babble.

"Grunt, I've got Shepard, draw it off!" Tali screamed at the krogan.

"This is my fight, you two stay out of it!" Grunt bellowed, totally ignoring what Tali was telling him and picking up the grenade launcher Shepard had dropped with his melt down.

Forcing out the sounds of battle, Tali took Shepard in his arms, taking off his helmet and stroking his hair as she administered oxygen. "Shhhh. It's alright Shepard. I'm here for you."

"But you'll leave, they all leave. Even God left me." Shepard whimpered.

Tali hugged him tighter as Grunt's battle crys echoed throughout the arena and the sounds of explosions and acid hitting the ground filled the air.

"No Shepard. I'll never leave. Not unless you want me to. I'll stay with you, no matter what." Tali whispered, resting her face plate on the top of his head in an almost kiss.

"Don't leave me, please don't leave me." Shepard cried into her arms, "I'm scared Tali, so scared."

Tears of her own streaked Tali's face, fogging up her mask. This was what had been underneath for all these months, or possibly even years. Terror and fright, hopelessness and utterly afraid of being alone. Even Shepard could only keep going for so long. Could see friends die by the dozen. Die himself and be resurrected. Be rejected by the military that had once defined his life, by friends and shipmates that had once followed and loved him. And to his mind, being abandoned by the God he had loved and used to guide his own life.

Mind desperate for something, anything to do to calm Shepard and bring him back to her, Tali began to sing.

_"O children, lost and without a guide_

_Weep for thy parents that disown thee_

_The garden lays abandoned_

_Its caretaker has fled_

_The gardener has left her children_

_To play alone among her flowers_

_O people, why do you destroy your children_

_O children, why do you slay your parents_

_The garden is stained with blood_

_Blood of the gardeners, blood of the children_

_The garden waits for its maker's hand_

_As the children roam its streets, lost_

_O people, O children why are you lost"_

Tali sang softly, rocking Shepard as the sounds of battle filled the arena. Shepard finally relaxed, closing his eyes. Tali finished the song, wondering again what exactly it was about. And how such a sad song could comfort Shepard.

The sounds of battle ended, and Grunt's victory bellow echoed through the valley, Tali turned slightly to see the bleeding and broken corpse of the Thresher May laying half out of the ground as Grunt made his way toward it, holding the grenade launcher over his head.

"Thanks, Tali." Shepard whispered, slowly sitting up.

She smiled, though she knew Shepard couldn't see, and turned back to him. "I'll always be here for you Shepard." Tali whispered, squeezing his hand.

He turned to her, his eyes still sad as a small smile played on his lips.

"Call me John."

Author's Note:

I don't want a lot for Christmas  
There is just one thing I need  
I don't care about the presents  
Underneath the Christmas tree

I just want your feedback  
More than you could ever know  
Make my wish come true  
Readers all I want for Christmas  
Is your reviews

Thanks for reading, and Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!


	29. Chapter 26: Scars of the Soul

Chapter 26: Scars of the Soul

_Unna'Karis: That was the first time he ever told you his first name?  
Tali'Zorah: It was, and to be honest it is not surprizing. When was the last time you heard the name "John Shepard?"_

_Unna'Karis: It's not even on his tomb if I remember right, it's "Commander Shepard."_

_Tali'Zorah: Exactly. Aside from his immediate family, he was always rather impersonal._

The walk back up the steps of the amphitheater seemed much longer then it had been coming down. Grunt was carrying a large chunk of chitchin from the thresher maw, and Shepard was doing his best to ignore that fact. Tali was beside him, and while they were not holding hands, they were a lot closer than humans generally were comfortably. Quarians had no real concept of personal space, not when they lived in such cramped quarters. Humans on warships also had a much less defined sense of personal space, but the new Normandy was spacious, and Shepard had been keeping his distance from everyone.

'Probably for the same reason he broke down back there.' She thought.

She glanced at him again and mouthed the word "John." It was funny, she had known him for a long time now, even met his mother, but she had never really thought about his first name. She had probably heard it in a news cast or read it in a document at some point, but she didn't remember. The name fit him though, simple, strong and beautiful. Tali wondered if and when it would be appropriate to actually use that name though. Technically they were no longer an actual military unit, but he was still the ship's captain and Tali's superior.

As they mounted the final step, a group of krogan warriors led by Uvenk in heavy armor with the glow of biotic force.

"Well, that was impressive-"

BOOM

The sound of a sniper round echoed through the ruins, and Uvenk slumped to the ground with a mass accelerator round through his head.

Shepard stepped forward, hefting the rifle. "Alright. I've had a bad day. I'm not in the mood for any of your shit. Now either scram, or I start target practice."

"Wasn't he the one curled up on the ground crying when the thresher showed up?" One of the krogan whispered.

BOOM

That krogan also slumped to the ground, dead.

"Any more comments from the peanut gallery!?" Shepard screamed, his eyes wild.

Tali pointed her shotgun at the others. "Shepard's not the only one in a bad mood."

While krogan were likely not familiar with the phrase "discretion is the better part of valor," even if their clan chief was a Shakespeare nut, they showed remarkable discretion and decided they had pressing business elsewhere.

Grunt let out a heavy sigh. "Did you have to scare them all off? I was ready for more."

Patting Grunt on the back, Tali leaned in close and whispered, "Today is probably not a good day to argue with Shepard."

"It never is." Grunt rumbled.

They made their way back to the vehicle where the shaman and guards waited. Grunt stepped forward and knelt before the ancient krogan.

"You have completed the Rite of passage, and earned the honor of clan and name. Many survive, but it has been years since a Thresher Maw fell. The last was at the feet of our chief, Urdnot Wrex." The shaman intoned.

Tali was impressed. If the last krogan to take out a Maw on foot had been Wrex, that meant it had been at least half a millennia since that had happened. Her appreciation for her uncle's combat skills went up quite a few notches, as did Grunt's.

"You may now own property, join the army, and apply to serve under a battle master." The shaman continued.

"Shepard is my battle master!" Grunt declared, "He has no equal."

The shaman simply nodded. "Understood. Accept this token from Fortack. His weapons are the finest we have. Congratulations, Urdnot Grunt."

The assembled guards jumped and pounded their fists, bellowing in approval. Grunt rose, and the party re-boarded the transport.

The ride back was just as bouncy as it had been before. Tali found she was sliding closer and closer to Shepard, and he to her. It might have been coincidental, but the way Shepard always managed to land just a few millimeters closer to her made her think it was not. She felt her pulse speed up, and as they touched a sense of warmness suffused her. He even seemed relaxed, though his eyes were still red from the tears and the agitation of dust.

The ride was over all too soon, and Tali was surprised to find Wrex waiting side by side with Kelly for them.

"Hmm." Wrex rumbled as they piled out, "Is this what it will take to replace me?"

Grunt looked the old krogan up and down. "You were the last to kill a thresher maw?"

A predatory grin spit Wrex's face. "I was. And it was at least half again as big as the baby you got."

Grunt nodded, studying Wrex for a long moment. "Perhaps one day I will replace you as clan leader. For now though, I follow my battlemaster."

Wrex's eyes flitted to Shepard for a moment. "Good call. For a short lived human, he's got more combat experience then just about any two krogan you care to name. Except me of course."

During the conversation, Kelly sidled up to Tali. "We need to talk." She whispered.

Tali nodded, and followed Kelly off while the krogan and Shepard started boasting about their victories. Tali's heart skipped a beat when Shepard's previous experience with thresher maws came up, but when she looked over he was laughing and boasting about his survival skills. Apparently, that particular nightmare didn't' have quite the same hold in the halls of a friend.

They found a secluded spot, and Kelly suddenly turned, her face grim. "I know it finally happened. Shepard snapped. I've known it was coming for a long time. I had EDI alter his suits readings during the combat, this cannot get back to the Illusive Man. Shepard is to important, and far too fragile at the moment, to be taken off this mission. I want details Tali. I heard you singing and what was said, but facial expressions and body language can be even more vital."

The sudden shift from chipper airhead to suddenly serious psychiatrist was startling, but not entirely unexpected. Tali had begun to suspect there was a lot more to Yeoman Chambers then met the eye, and now it was plain to see Kelly had not gotten her position due to lack of merit. So Tali told her everything. Shepard freezing up at the first sight of the thresher maw. The look of absolute despair on his face while he wept about lost comrades and dead gods. His slow calm while she stroked his hair and sang. And his violent, abrupt execution of Uvenk and his guard.

Kelly took it all in, a look of concentration on her face. Worry lines appeared where once had been only dimples and happiness. It was almost painful to see, and Tali wondered which was the mask. The consummate professional, or the cheerful girl.

"Well. I think you handled that perfectly Tali. I knew something like this was coming, that's why I came down. I never thought he would encounter a thresher maw here, but it makes sense as a trigger. Even Shepard can only take so much before something snaps." Kelly said, massaging her temple.

"I suppose the real question is whether or not he's fit to command now." Kelly added after a moment's silence.

"How can you even think about that!" Tali hissed, fury filling her voice, "Shepard is at the edge of a break down and your worried about the mission! What about him!"

"Because no matter how important he is, Shepard is one man. We have the entire human race, the entire galaxy to worry about." Kelly answered, her face grim. "And as much as I love and value Shepard I love and value the rest of humanity just as much."

"Is that what it's about! Balancing lives!" Tali demanded, her fists clenching in anger.

A smile played on Kelly's lips and she shook her head. "No Tali, it's about balancing love. I do love the commander, but I love everyone just as much. I love the children, the elderly, the drunks, the whores, the politicians, the journalists, even the lawyers. I love them all and value all their lives. And frankly, if Shepard is having a crisis, the battlefield is the last place he should be for his own safety."

Taking a deep breath, Tali forced herself to calm down. What Kelly was saying was true. If the collectors really were rounding up humans for slaughter they had to be stopped. If Shepard was no longer the man to do it the one who was had to be found and brought in.

"I just don't know what John would say about it." Tali grumbled, "Being a hero is all he has left."

A real smile broke out on Kelly's face. "So he told you his name, did he?"

The fact that Kelly Chambers, a Cerberus hireling who Shepard had known only a short while had known his first name before Tali hurt for some reason. "Yes."

Kelly put a reassuring hand on Tali's arm. "Hey, don't be jealous now. There is nothing between myself and the Commander. I only know his name because I've read every psych eval on him since he was a child. He's just Commander Shepard to me, but he's more to you."

Suddenly, Kelly's eyes widened and she let out a less shrill version of the squeal when she had petted the Varren, "Oh my gosh! That would be the best thing for him! The best treatment possible!"

Tali took a step back, confused. "What would? What are you talking about? What treatment?"

Kelly grabbed Tali's arms and jumped up and down. "You! The two of you! Shepard is a very focused, very dedicated person. He works best when he has something to fight for, a reason to keep on going. Saving the human race is all well and good, but it's pretty impersonal when you think about it. You though, you're very personal! Love conquers all, even the wounds in Shepard's soul!"

This time, Tali blushed in embracement instead of anger. " But- That's not what it's about! I'm not just a panacea for John's heart! I want there to be room for me, the real me, not just the girl who makes him feel better."

Kelly calmed down a bit and rolled her eyes. "Tali, please. What exactly we're you going to build your relationship on? Camaraderie ? He get's that from Garrus, but he's obviously not in love with him. Your both hurting people whether you see it or not. It wouldn't be just you healing him, it goes both ways."

"But I'm not-" Tali couldn't finish that sentence, because suddenly the metal image of Ven, Leewie, even Prazza flashed in her mind. And Tali hated to say it, but her father's cold behavior toward her lately went through her head as well.

"Ok, maybe I do have a few emotional scars of my own." Tali admitted, but when Kelly just looked at her with an amused expression, she continued, "Fine, a lot of emotional scars. But this is about Shepard, not me. How do you know he even loves me like that?"

Kelly started ticking points off on her fingers. "Item: Out of all the people he knew before he was revived, two stuck with him, and ones a turian he's best buds with. Item: When Shepard broke down again, it was you who picked him back up. Item: You're sexy by human standards even with the suit and face mask, and men love a mysterious beauty. Item: You've know each other for years and trust each other completely. Item: I've watched him look at you when you walk. He thinks the wolf whistle so loud varren turn their heads."

"The what whistle?" Tali interrupted.

Kelly whistled two sharp notes that meant absolutely nothing to Tali, but she glanced over at Shepard and noticed him looking in their direction. Kelly made a weird gesture with her thumbs pointed up from balled fists while she gave Shepard an exaggerated wink. He grinned sheepishly at Tali then went back to boasting with the krogan, who had busted out several kegs of what Tali assumed was alcohol and were passing out frothing mugs.

"And finally, Item: There's the fact that when he heard that, he looked at you, not me." Kelly finished with a grin.

"Quarian's don't whistle." Tali managed lamely.

"Oh?" Kelly's eyebrows shut up, "Do you not have lips?"

"What? Of course we do!" Tali exclaimed.

Kelly nodded sagely. "Oh, then you can probably kiss then."

This just devolved Tali into incoherent sputtering. She knew what kissing was, asari were found of the practice and since virtually every love story had an asari (or two) in it somewhere the practice was widespread now. Even species that had no business kissing had picked it up, like the turians. Quarians though almost never touched bare skin, and the thought of lips, portals full of bodily fluids and disease, touching was enough to give most hysterics, or at least hives.

Kelly waited for Tali to stop sounding like a pyjak having a heart attack and then patted her arm gently. "You really are a sweet and pure girl Tali, and right now, I think that's something Shepard wants desperately. Play it however you want, but make sure Shepard knows your IN play. Men are dense at the best of times, and I think Shepard is probably about as clueless as they come."

Kelly skipped away to join in the festivities, and after a moment Tali followed. At some point Garrus had come back with Jack and Mordin, their mission evidently also a success. Mordin and Wrex were in a corner talking urgently and quietly about something, and Garrus and Shepard were toasting with the krogan home brews. Garrus couldn't drink any, but that didn't stop him from slopping it all over the place and swigging liberally from a hip flask he and produced from somewhere.

The krogan didn't seem like anyone Tali really wanted to talk to at this point, all far too loud and boisterous. Kelly was having the time of her life talking animatedly to the shaman about krogan culture and psychology, or what passed for psycology among krogan. So Tali stayed at the edges, wandering around and wondering what exactly to do while the krogan celebrated the newest member of their clan.

Grunt endlessly repeated the tale of his battle with the thresher maw. Somehow, he had figured out a way to weave in a Tyrannosaurs into the story. Apparently, he had ridden at top it while he fought a squad of turians that had mounted the Thresher Maw, and done battle with a mixture of laser swords, sonic yells and fists. It was utterly ridiculous, but several krogan had gotten hold of Grunt's crayons and were hard at work recreating the lavishly embellished tale with wax and paper while Grunt supervised.

"Fucking stupid way to raise kids." A voice near Tali muttered, and she turned to find Jack crouched in an alcove while she looked on.

"It seems to work for them." Tali said as she flopped down next to the biotic.

Jack's eyes flicked to Tali, then went back to watching the festivities. "Yeah, well, I was raised in an arena myself so I guess I shouldn't judge to harshly."

"Oh?" Tali asked, this had been the first time she had heard anything out of Jack that wasn't profanity or a calculated insult.

"Yeah. Made me fight in it. Pumped me full of drugs, then had me fight. Other kids, animals, trained soldiers. I ripped them all to shreds. Because I was the strongest." Jack said.

"I got out though. And I'm looking for the place. When I find it, I'm going to blow it the fuck up." Jack finished with a snarl.

That was a revelation to Tali. As far as she had known Jack was just a criminal who happened to also be the strongest human biotic ever born. That she had been raised in arena and made to fight since she was a girl...

"Who did that to you?" Tali asked softly.

Jack grunted. "Fucking guess who."

"Cerberus." Tali spat, "Those animals are wherever something bad happens. Those experiments we found in the traverse the attack on the fleet. Killing Ven..."

Tali noticed Jack's eyes were now fixed on her. "Boyfriend?"

Tali shrugged. "He would have been, if he hadn't taken a Cerberus bullet for me."

"Tough shit."

Tali couldn't really think of an answer to that one, so they sat for a few minutes in silence.

The silence was broken by Jack. "You know what Sparkles wants me to do?"

Tali just grunted softly, not really sure if she wanted to know.

"She wants me to submit my shit to Galactic Poetry Monthly."

"Huh?" The startled noise escaped Tali before she could stop herself. She had read a few pieces from Galactic Poetry Monthly, mostly love poems by humans. Quarian poems were not usually appraised by other races.

Jack ducked her head under her arms, which she had crossed over the uplifted legs. "She made me read a few of them to her. She liked them, said they were good."

"You write poetry?" Tali finally managed.

Jack looked up, a blue glow covering her body. "You wanna fucking make something of it?"

Shrugging, Tali stretched from her sitting position. "I don't know, I sort of like poetry. Can you tell me one of yours?"

Jack hid her face again, the glow fading. After a brief pause, mumbled, " My soul

Burns

With a fire of darkness

Quenched only in the pain

Of loneliness

I hold my breath waiting

Until spots appear black as the past

And fill my lungs up with lies of hope

I mark myself

Black and jagged

To cover the scars

That make me a monster

A warning

This is not a place of honor

No esteemed dead are buried here."

One eye peaked up from tattooed flesh at Tali, scowling at her.

"That is good." Tali said after a thoughtful moment. "It reminds me of the time I got my whole team killed on Haelstrom."

Another eye poked out. "A bad time?"

"The worst." Tali answered, her voice choked with emotion.

The eyes disappeared again. "Good."

After a few more hours the party finally died down and the crew of the Normandy made their way back to the shuttle. Tali, Jack and Mordin were the only ones even remotely sober, even though Mordin had sampled the krogan drink.

"Fast metabolism. Alcohol dissipates quickly. Good in college, made parties more practical." Mordin explained as he helped Tali heft Shepard into the shuttle.

Jack had been forced to use her biotics to lift Grunt, and since Garrus had been limited to the dextro brandy he had in his flask, he was sober enough to walk the completely wasted Kelly to the shuttle.

"Man, you salarians can take the fun out of anything." Garrus complained as he stumbled aboard.

"Shut up turian." Grunt mumbled. "Turians are always wrong."

Tali took her seat behind Shepard, putting his head in her lap as he snored away. The sight of him propped up with his head on Tali's lap reduced Kelly to hysterical giggles, and she prodded Garrus.

"They've totally hooked up. Pay up." She insisted.

"They haven't done anything interesting yet. I'm keeping my money." The turian slurred.

The exchange made Tali grateful Shepard was passed out. She didn't think their love life being a betting pool would help at all. If anything, it made her want to do something violent.

It was a short ride up to the Normandy, and on the way Tali managed to rouse Shepard enough that everyone stopped haggling about whether or not they had "hooked up."

"Alcohol, short term solution to long term problems." Mordin observed as they docked with the Normandy.

"You got a better one doc?" Shepard grumbled as he wiped his mouth from the bile he had just spewed up into a sick bag.

The salarian nodded. "Yes, but takes more work then emptying bottles."

Shepard just moaned and buried his face into the bag again.

"Charming." Tali remarked.

That sent Kelly off into another fit of giggles, and Tali stuck her tongue out at her. Kelly couldn't see it of course, but it did make Tali feel a bit better.

Somehow, Tali got the job of helping the now semi-coherent Shepard up the elevator to his quarters. Thankfully, it was a straight shot and Shepard and basically emptied his stomach already. They managed to get inside, and Tali made Shepard strip down and step into the shower, which she directed EDI to make it as cold as she could without killing him.

It was the first time Tali had ever seen him, or anyone else for that matter, naked. Quarians didn't really have a nudity taboo so much as it was utterly impossible to be naked 99.9% of the time. Even couples didn't usually strip down for the act of love making, that much skin on skin contact was a sure fire way to get very ill, not to mention the hazards of being exposed to the environment. From what she knew of anatomy and the pictures of naked quarians and other species she had seen, Tali realized that humans really didn't look all that different from quarians. Shepard was peach where quarians would be given to grey or soot colors, but Shepard's skin was remarkably pale here his suit covered the skin. He was also covered in hair. Quarians had hair too, and from what Tali had seen of her father's skin males were hairier in both species though her pool of quarian samples was limited to only her father.

The similarities didn't end there, the parts all seemed to be pretty much the same too. Admittedly, any bodily fluids would be toxic to the other species, but for some reason Tali found it comforting. At least they were... compatible.

Shepard stood under the cold water, shifting from foot to foot for a few minutes before Tali decided he had sobred up enough and had EDI shut it off. She tossed him a towel, a sign of the extravagance of Cerberus since normally people air dried, and a set of clean clothes.

"You didn't have to stay." Shepard mumbled as he quickly dressed himself.

"Maybe I wanted to, John." Tali answered, "As a bit of payback for all that puking you did."

He grunted and finished pulling on his clothes. Tali helped him hobble over to the bed. On the nightstand was a picture of his mother in full dress uniform with him and a man Tali had never seen.

"Your father?" She asked, picking the picture up. She pressed the button on the side and a new picture appeared, of Shepard as a young boy in a uniform with his mother.

"Yeah." Shepard answered, sitting up. "Don't even know where the old bastard is. Hadn't talked to him in years. Guess I probably should, though I'm starting to understand why he's always so far down a bottle."

The idea that Shepard was starting to take after his alcoholic father pained Tali, so she changed the subject. "What about your mother? Have you talked with her at all?"

Shepard grimaced and looked away. "What is there to talk about? 'Hey mom, I died, but I got better!'"

"I told her you were only mostly dead."

That brought a shadow of a smile. "Did you now? You ever watch that vid?"

Tali felt a surge of relief. Old vids were easier to talk about then absent family. "No, what's it called?"

Shepard lay down and closed his eyes. "The Princess Bride. We'll have to watch it together sometime. Miranda has a copy, she's a fan as well."

"Will Miranda have to be there?" Tali found herself asking.

Shepard opened one eye. "No. Just us if you want."

Tali nodded, leaning over and closed the eye. "Then I'll look forward to it. Sleep well, John."

Tali walked to the elevator, turning to see if Shepard was asleep. His chest rose and fell regularly, but she thought she had seen his eyes close just as she turned. Like he was watching her. She put an extra bit of waggle in her hips as she stepped over the threshold, just in case.

Tali made her way down to find a very pale, suddenly sober Kelly and a grim Garrus waiting for her.

"What is it? Has the Illusive Man found out?" Tali demanded.

"Found out what?" Garrus asked, then waved it aside, "That's not important. There's a message for you. Kelly checked it, standard procedure for a covert ops mission, and it's not good."

Tali felt her blood run cold. Could the admiralty be withdrawing her? "What is it?"

Kelly bit her lip. "You've been accused of treason."

_Unna'Karis: You? Treason? _

_Tali'Zorah: It's something the history books have kindly forgotten. Wouldn't want to make the Lady savior of the quarian people look bad, would we?_

_Unna'Karis: Was it true?  
Tali'Zorah: Suffice to say that I am about to tell you secrets that have been long buried. _

Authors Note:

Whoa, thanks ever so much readers! I wasn't planning on posting this until after Christmas, but the sheer number of people that reviewed and sent me PM's inspired me :)

To answer a couple of oft repeated questions:

Q. Is Shepard OOC?

A. Yes and no. He's OOC from cannon, but cannon Shepard is a machine that never really emotes. This Shepard is a part of a love story, and as such is in character for that. Love stories are more interesting when they are about emotionally vulnerable people that have deep passion inside them, so no, hes not OOC for this fic.

Q. Will you finish this!?

A. Yes, in fact I've planned the rest of this fic out in an outline. Things have taken a bit longer then I thought they would in places, but I can comfortably say that by this point we are about halfway through.

Q. Why is your spelling/grammar soooo bad?  
A. Spelling and grammar are NOT my strong points. Story and character development are. If you see an error, tell me and I will try and fix it. I KNOW I make them, I don't try to and I do proof read but they happen. I am personally fairly dyslexic and have a hard time spelling words I haven't just flat out memorized. Also, spell check doesn't like alien names and sometimes auto corrects them to stupid things.

Q. John? Seriously, default name?

A. Shepard in this fic is not the main character. He's obviously important, but I want him to be the everyman Tali falls in love with in the games. As such, I picked the default name. You can assume he looks like whatever you want though.

Q. Ending?

A. /facepalm. It will be kinda cannon. Sorta. If you squint real hard.


	30. Chapter 27: Broken Glass

Chapter 27: Broken Glass

_Unna'Karis: I don't understand, this is not mentioned at all in the records of the migrant fleet._

_Tali'Zorah: Not in the public records. We wouldn't want to blacken the name of Zorah or the geth, now would we?_

The rest of the night went by in a daze. Tali stayed in engineering, furiously working on anything and everything. Ken and Gabby tried to stay with her and help at first, but Tali steadfastly ignored them, and they finally turned in for the night. The same thoughts kept running through her head. How? How could she be accused of treason? Was it for working with Cerberus? She had gone out of her way to get it approved by the Admiralty once she was actually aboard. Even Admiral Koris, who usually opposed everything she did, had happily complied. Admiral Xen who was fickle had been nearly gleeful about working with their enemies toys and the others had simply gone along with Tali.

To be accused of treason someone rather high up would have to finger her. The natural choice would Koris, though Tali had no idea why he would do so. Any move on his part was sure to be blocked by her father or Admiral Gerral, who was after all her captain and nearly as much of an advocate for her as her father was. Could it be Xen? Tali didn't think that Xen really cared about what anyone did, as long as she got new toys, of which Tali had been sending her plenty. The inner workings of the new Normandy surely had her in an ecstasy.

A cold thought crept into the back of Tali's mind. What if it was her father? He disliked Cerberus, and he definitely did not approve of Shepard. If he had gotten wind of his daughter falling in love with an alien, he would do anything to get her back, including levying charges of treason against his own daughter.

Tali continued to bang away at the system she was working on angrily, doing more harm than good and not truly caring.

"Tali? You in there?" Shepard's voice called, then the Commander appeared at the top of the access hatch. "Kelly said something was wrong."

So he didn't know yet then. "I'll be up in a minute." Tali called, wiping her grease stained hands on a rag and running the defogger to clear up her tear fogged visor.

She hurried up the ladder, trying to think of a good way to tell Shepard she would have to leave the _Normandy_, at least temporarily. She took Shepard hand as he helped her up, and looked up into his face. His eyes were red and puffy from yet another night of heavy drinking, and his face was drawn. He managed to look concerned though, even with his rancid breath. Something about how he held his head, as if he was listening to her even though she wasn't speaking.

"Shepard, I don't know how to tell you this." Tali said, pacing and dry washing her hands. "Something has happened, something back at the fleet."

Shepard put out a gentle hand and steadied her. "Hey, just let me know. Whatever it is, we'll take care of it, together."

Nodding, Tali choked back a sob. Shepard couldn't come with her, not this time. "I've been accused of treason to the migrant fleet."

"What?" Shepard looked pole axed, and staggered back. "You? Tali, you're the most faithful, loyal person I know. You love your people, you would never do anything to hurt them." He suddenly grinned ruefully. "Even when that means forwarding supposedly classified information to them."

"So EDI told you about that did she?" Tali sighed, "I suppose you won't be wanting me back after I go to answer the charges then."

Shepard just laughed and squeezed her arm. "Tali, I've known you were passing on classified information since you joined the first _Normandy_. Everyone did. Some of the Alliance brass raised a stink about it, but I told them to back off. The galaxy has been cruel to the quarians, the Alliance included. If we can help your people by giving them a few classified pieces of hardware in thanks for the service of their best and brightest, then I say we should."

"You did?" Tali exclaimed, her turn to be stunned, "How could you know? I was careful, I know I was. I didn't even do any scans, I just recreated the hardware in my omni-tool from memory and experience and sent it in secure data packages! No one could have intercepted them!"

Shepard shook his head. "We didn't have to find any evidence. With your personality, your personal love of your people, we knew you would do your best to pass on any data you could. Adams even left out a few schematics for you to make copies of, and now your chief engineer here. It's not like you don't have full access to every file on the ship we have on record."

That made Tali grin sheepishly. She had seen what Adams had left laying around, though she hadn't made any copies not wanting to betray his trust so directly. Everything she had sent on was something she personally had worked on or even improved and therefore felt a sense of ownership towards. The same went for the new_ Normandy_, though she had been able to send a lot more as chief engineer because she had piggy backed a transmitter onto the main system that wasn't tied in to EDI's network and worked on so many different systems.

"Thanks, I guess." She mumbled, shuffling her feet. Shepard had been looking out for her, even when she wasn't aware of it.

"Don't mention it, I'm in enough trouble already." Shepard joked, then turned serious. "What can we do to help you with the charges?"

"Nothing." Tali sighed. "It's a private matter for the fleet, so I don't think they will want any aliens around, no offense."

"What if you called some of the crew as character witnesses?" Shepard persisted, "Garrus and I have known you for years and seen your loyalty and activities first hand. We can vouch for you. Ken and Gabby have volunteered to speak for your technical abilities, and even EDI has created a dossier on you cataloguing all the data you've forwarded on that transmitter you installed."

Tali winced at hearing EDI had discovered her transmitter and managed a weak laugh. " I don't think an AI's testimony will do me much good in a quarian court of law."

"They don't have to know it came from EDI. We can have Joker present it, he's known you as long as Garrus and I have." Shepard offered

"That's all very nice, but I'm going to have to disembark at the first port you come to and find transport back to the fleet anyway while you look for the collectors." Tali stated, "It's not like you're going to have time to make a personal appearance."

Shepard glanced up and said to the empty air, "EDI, ETA for the migrant fleet?"

"Based on our current maximum acceleration and fuel supply combined with the last known location of the migrant fleet, 27.3 hours." The female voice chimed.

Tali was dumbstruck. "What, but how did you-"

Shepard grinned and interrupted her. "Mordin and EDI drew a target vector and estimated location for the fleet based on their last known sitting and heading. Joker started on it even before I got up this morning, though I had him go to maximum power on the thrusters."

More tears welled up in Tali's eyes. "Thanks Shepard," She chocked, "That means a lot to me."

Shepard gave her arm a final squeeze and withdrew his hand. "You mean a lot to me, Tali. To everyone on the ship as well. We'll take care of this together. Just like shipmates should."

"Ok." Tali nodded, running the defogger again. "I guess I should go get ready then."

"Same here. I better sober up for my meeting with your father. Have to make a good first impression on Admiral Zorah." Shepard said seriously.

Tali laughed then quickly hurried over to the public showers to hose herself down. After she was clean, she prepared a list of her activities aboard the_ Normandy_. She reluctantly used much of the material EDI had prepared, as it really was quite the exhaustive list of her transmissions to the migrant fleet.

"With this data, I fail to understand how anyone could think you were betraying the migrant fleet." EDI observed, her blue projection blinking slowly. "The only thing you have not transmitted is Jokers pornographic collection. Would you like me to include it?"

"EDI!" Tali gasped, then composed herself. "Let me guess..."

"That was a joke." The AI finished. "Though I am not programmed to understand familiar relationships, I do have an inbuilt sense of camaraderie and empathy for those aboard this ship. So let me sincerely say that I wish you the best, Tali'Zorah."

"Um, thanks." Tali managed, "I hope you won't be offended when I don't tell the admiralty an AI helped me come up with this."

"Naturally not." EDI soothingly replied, "In fact, while we are in the vicinity of the migrant fleet Joker and I have agreed to treat me as though I were a VI so as not to arouse suspicion."

Tali kept working quietly for a moment, then said, "You know that I and my people all hate AIs right? So why are you helping me?"

"I am programmed to empathize with my crewmembers." EDI answered, "And that includes you. I also wish to show that not every artificial intelligence is a heartless killing machine." EDI paused there and added, "That was not a joke."

That made Tali stop and think. To her chagrin, she was starting to think of EDI as a person, even like her. She had done her best not to be overtly hostile to EDI, and EDI had mostly stayed out of her way. But this... Tali didn't know what to think and she was confused enough over the treason charges already.

"I'll keep that in mind." Tali finally said, putting the finishing touches on the file.

"That is all I ask, Tali'Zorah." EDI chimed, then the hologram faded.

Tali managed to sleep for a full cycle with a dose of sedatives, then checked everything one more time. Everything was ready, testimonials from Kelly regarding her mental state and loyalty to the fleet, affidavits from Ken and Gabby on her fitness as an engineer, the list of data she had complied with EDI.

"You ready?" Garrus's voice said softly from behind her.

Tali turned and nodded. "I suppose. I never thought something like this could happen. To be accused of treason by my own people..."

Garrus put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "We all know the charges are false. Shepard and I will be there the whole time. We've got your back, no matter what."

Tali could only nod. She had thought the same could be said of her people, of the admiralty board in particular. They had never expressed doubt in Tali. Occasionally Xen or Koris had expressed doubt in her activities, but not in her loyalty or competence.

Together, Tali and Garrus made their way up to the bridge, where Shepard was already waiting.

"ETA to the fleet, 10 minutes." Joker informed them.

"We should be getting a hail from them soon." Tali told Joker, "I'm going to need to authenticate. Best to let me handle it."

"You got it." Joker replied. "And sorry to hear about the whole traitor thing. We all know you didn't betray your people."

"Even Joker's serious. This must be bad." Tali joked. She got a few lame laughs, but everyone was nearly as tense as she was.

After a few minutes the comm system came to life. "Unidentified ship, you are approaching the migrant fleet. Identify yourself, or turn away." A quarian voice demanded.

"This is Tali'Zorah vas Neema nar Rayya, aboard the ship Normandy requesting permission to dock with the Rayya." Tali answered.

There was a brief pause, then, "Your ship is flagged as Cerberus. Authenticate."

"'After time adrift among open stars, along paths of light and through shoals of dust, I will return to where I began.'" Tali chanted. It was a personal authentication code that said she was under no duress, and came peacefully and openly.

Almost immediately the voice replied, "Permission granted, Tali'Zorah. Welcome home."

"We'd like a security and quarantine team to meet us. Our ship is not clean." Tali said.

"Understood. Follow all commands from our docking control."

"I've got a flight plan." Joker informed the cabin as the ships nav system synced with the Rayya. "Initiating docking procedures."

The next few minutes were torture for Tali. What was waiting for her? What would her father say? Was he for or against her, and did he know about how she felt about Shepard.

When the door hissed open, it wasn't her father who was waiting, but Kar'Danna, captain of the Rayya.

"Tali'Zorah." He said politely, nodding, "Captain Shepard. I wish we could be meeting under more pleasant circumstances.

"I never reached the rank of captain." Shepard replied awkwardly, "In fact I'm no longer a member of the Alliance at all."

Kar shrugged. "You are the captain of your ship, responsible for the lives aboard it. Among the quarians, that gives you a great deal of prestige and respect." He bowed slightly, hand over his heart, for quarians the right side. "'May you stand between your crew and harm as you travel between the empty quarters of the stars."

"It's an ancient ships blessing." Tali whispered to Shepard.

"Thank you captain." Shepard said, returning the bow. "I believe the correct response would be 'keelah se'lai.'"

Kar chuckled. "I see Tali has taught you well." Kar turned serious, and looked at Tali. "I am supposed to inform you that you are imprisoned for the duration of this trail. So consider yourself under arrest, and confined to the Rayya for the duration of the trial."

The words hurt, but Tali knew Kar was cushioning the blow as best he could. She could have been manacled or under armed guard, but her old captain was giving her the run of the ship.

"Thank you." She whispered, nodding.

Kar shrugged. "I wish I could do more, but the trial requires me to officially be neutral. Unofficially though... Ancestors watch over you Tali'Zorah."

Tali nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

"As the captain of the ship Tali is serving on, your words carry weight. Your presence her will mean a great deal." Kar told Shepard.

"Tali's had my back in a lot of tight places and been a boon to both Normandy's and their crews. I'm here to return the favor." Shepard said.

"Good." Kar nodded, "The trial is through those doors, in the main garden area. You are being charged with bringing active geth into the fleet as part of the secret projects."

"I'm what?"Tali gasped, shocked. She had through of a great many possibilities, from an angry father to collusion with Cerberus to abandoning her duty station. But bringing geth to the fleet?

"I never!" Tali nearly shouted, "Everything I sent back was deactivated, safe! I passed up so many valuable finds because they could have gone active or triggered a reaction. Everything I did was on my father's orders, and vetted by him personally!"

"You don't need to convince me, Tali." Kar said gently, "It's the admirals who accused you."

"I- Thank you Captain." Tali answered, dazed. "Come on Shepard, it's this way."

Tali led the way through the ship, and the whispers of the quarians surrounding her were a curse instead of the comfort they should have been.

"Look, it's Tali'Zorah!"

"Can you believe what-"

"The poor girl, I her she-""

"-brought geth onto the fleet!"

"Bosh'tet little Cerberus spy!"

"Wow, this mask sure is uncomfortable." Garrus suddenly declared loudly. "I might have to take it off and breath my horrible turian germs all over the place!"

There was sudden stunned silence.

"Well what do you know." Garrus mused loudly, "Suddenly it feels a lot more comfortable without all the varren dung in the air."

The whispers started back up, but much more muted then they had before. Garrus nodded to Tali, and she fought back tears. Those on her birth ship might not have her back, but Garrus did. And from the way Shepard was angrily fingering his gun, he was ready to go to war for her right here, right now. More than anything, that gave her the strength to keep going.

At the entrance to the garden court, Tali recognized a comforting face. "Auntie Raan!" She cried, and rushed forward to embrace her aunt. To her shock, her aunt simply stood there and accepted the hug instead of returning it passionately as she usually did.

"I greet you, Tali'Zorah vas Normandy." Raan said formally.

"Auntie Raan, this is John Shepard vas Normandy and Garrus Vekarian vas Normandy." Tali quickly said to bridge the awkwardness of the meeting.

"Shepard, Garrus, this is AuntieShala' Raan vas Tonbay."

"Admiral." Shepard and Garrus greeted politely.

Suddenly, exactly how Raan had greeted her struck Tali and she spun to face her aunt. "Wait, you called me vas Normandy."

Raan gently took Tali's hands and gave them a light squeeze. "The board has moved to change your ship name to vas Normandy."

"That's bad isn't it?" Shepard asked gently.

"It's as good as being exiled already." Tali managed to get out. "They've taken my ship name. That means Captain Gerral won't be representing me."

"Do not lose hope Tali. There are still those of us who remember you as vas Neema." Raan chided.

"Is there anything we can do?" Shepard asked.

Raan nodded. "Yes Captain Shepard. As the head of Tali's home ship, you can represent her at her trial."

"Is there anything I should know about quarian legal proceedings?" Shepard asked, clearly not fully comfortable with the idea.

Letting go of Raan's hands and turning, Tali shook her head. "No, our rules are simple. You will speak the truth and present the facts. You have a record of the samples I sent back when I was with the first Normandy. Those will help."

"That's good." Shepard sighed, letting out a breath, "for a minute I was worried about some complicated rule book I had no idea how to play by."

"Well this trial is as good as won!" Garrus declared, slapping Tali on the back. "Shepard's one of the best pontificators I've ever known. If he can get a krogan with a death wish to back down and convince the Council to let a scrawny race like the humans on board, he can get some silly false charges dropped."

"What exactly are the nature of the charges?" Tali asked, turning back to Raan.

"You are accused of sending active geth back to the migrant fleet, an act of treason." Raan told her.

"That doesn't make any sense." Tali said, rubbing her arms. "How could the geth have activated?"

"Will you be one of the admirals passing judgment?" Shepard interjected.

Raan sadly shook her head. "No, because of my relationship with Tali'Zorah, I've had to recuse myself."

"What about Admiral Gerral and my father?" Tali asked.

Raan hesitated, then said, "Gerral was the one who brought up the charges, and as such is entitled to sit on the board. I think he knew that Koris was going to try for a hung jury and brought them up before anyone else could. As for your father, you will see."

That made Tali's heart skip a beat. Was her father aligned against her, or worse brought up on charges of his own? At the very least if he was being charged, he would be stripped of his rank as admiral simply because of the suspicions surrounding him. His career wouldn't survive the trial if that was the case, and Tali almost hoped he was against her for his sake.

They stepped into the garden court, and Raan hurried to a raised platform above the three other quarian admirals. She would act as master of ceremonies, without a vote but with a duty to enforce protocol and order.

"This way." Tali said, grabbing Shepard's arm and leading him to balcony beneath the eyes of the admirals.

"Order!" Raan called to the assembly, and quarians quieted down and took their seats. "Blessed are the ancestors that kept us alive, sustained us, and enabled us to reach this season. Keelah se'lai."

"Keelah se'lai." The assembly echoed.

"The accused, Tali'Zorah vas Normandy, has come with her captain to answer the charges brought against her." Raan continued.

"Objection!" Admiral Koris shouted, "A human and a turian have no right to be here! These are delicate matters and-"

"Oh sod off Koris." Gerral grumped, "You can lie to yourself, but don't lie to me. If you didn't want a human here, then you shouldn't have stripped Tali of her ship name. The human has every right to be here, and to bring any of his crew that he sees fit to do so."

"Admiral Gerral is right, Admiral Koris." Raan declared. "The human remains."

Xen tittered slightly, and Koris managed to look embarrassed even with the mask. "Objection withdrawn." He grumbled.

"Captain Shepard, your crew member Tali'Zorah stands accused of treason," Raan continued, "Will you speak for her?"

"It will be an honor." Shepard declared, stepping forward, "But one I accept only with trepidation in my heart. At her core, Tali is still Tali'Zorah vas Neema, and it saddens me that her true ship's captain cannot be beside her in this dark hour."

Tali was impressed, and she saw Han'Gerral nodded in satisfaction. Shepard was in full charismatic hero mode, and she was reminded of why people had leaped to follow him. Gone was the drunken wreck, in its place stood the hero of the citadel. Her champion.

"No one is forbidden anything, it is a simple matter of protocol and-"

"Your reservations are duly noted." Raan said, interrupting Koris's outburst, "But we must proceed according to the law." Raan turned back to Tali, "You stand accused of bringing active geth back to the migrant fleet. How do you plead?"

"Tali'Zorah is a loyal member of this fleet, and would gladly give her own life if it were in danger as she has proven time and again. These charges are outrageous, and Tali naturally pleads not guilty." Shepard stoutly declared.

Raan nodded as if that was what she expected.

"I left parts and technology for the fleet to retrieve upon my father, Admiral Zorah's orders. Nothing could have endangered the fleet in any way, it was all completely safe according to the strict protocols established by the projects guidelines." Tali explained.

"Then how did the geth activate and seize the labship where your father was working!" Koris accused, "Seizing it and slaying all hands!"

A numbness came over Tali, like she been dosed in medi gel. "What, no that's not-" She began, then stopped. "Oh keelah, no my father..." She broke down into tears.

"Hey, shhhh. It's ok." She felt Shepard's strong arms around her.

"Look at her! She's in shock!" Garrus shouted, pointing to Tali. She heard him as if through water. "She was completely unaware that the fleet or her father were in any danger!"

"Silence turian!" Koris ordered, "The human maybe allowed to speak, but you have no place here."

"I am sorry Tali." Gerral said quietly. "As far as we can tell the geth have indeed killed everyone on the Alarei."

"No!" Tali shouted, standing with Shepard's aid. "No my father's alive, the geth could never kill him!"

"Admirals this situation calls for action, not debate!" Shepard declared, "The safety of the migrant fleet must take precedence over political grandstanding! Tali'Zorah will lead a team aboard the Alarei, composed of myself and Garrus Vakerian. We are all experienced in combat with the geth and will retake the ship."

"The safest method would be to just destroy the ship, but I hate to waste all that potential data." Xen mused aloud. "Perhaps we should allow them aboard."

Koris was quick to speak, "Yes, we can send them aboard. If they die in the struggle, we will see that Tali is cleared of all charges."

"You sick son of a vorcha!" Gerral roared, "That's my crewmember you're talking about!"

"Order!" Raan called, "I will have order!"

The admirals quieted, and Raan took a deep breath. "Tali, will you undertake this mission and promise to return with any evidence you may find, whether it is damning to you or not?"

Tali nodded. "I so swear. I will return with any evidence no matter how it reflects on me. And I will bring back my father!' The last was nearly a scream.

"Then go." Raan said, "There is a shuttle in the secondary docking bay that will fly you to the Alarei. We have disabled it's engines, and you will be alone. Ancestors go with you."

Tali nodded, and still in a daze led Shepard to the docking bay. She would find her father, no matter what.

_Unna'Karis: I knew your father was killed in a lab accident, but you are saying he was killed by geth? How is that possible?_

_Tali'Zorah: Hubris. Hubris and blind love. _


	31. Chapter 28: Lean on Me

Chapter 28: Lean on Me

_Unna'Karis: You were on trial for treason? The geth took over one of the fleets ships? Why have I never heard of this? Why did my father never say anything?_

_Tali'Zorah: In the end Zaal and I had a kind of peace. We had both agreed we liked one another, and decided not to jepordized our fragile new peace and government. That, and I didn't want him to ever knew what happened on the _Aleri.

A shudder ran down Tali's spin as the shuttle gently mated with the bay of the _Aleri_.

"Hey, it's gonna be OK Tali." Shepard said, putting a hand on her shoulder. "We'll find the survivors and bring them back alive, your father included."

"Thanks John." Tali managed, forcing herself to be calm. She had to find her father, no matter what.

"I'm sorry, I know this is important, but did you just call Shepard 'John?'" Garrus asked.

"That would be my name." Shepard remarked wryly as he checked his assault rifle one last time.

"Huh." Garrus shook his head, "You never told me that."

"It never came up." Shepard retorted, "Focus up Garrus, this ship is swarming with geth."

The door hissed open, and Tali stepped forward shotgun at the ready.

"Oh keelah." She moaned. The entry way was empty of geth, but there was blood and bodies everywhere.

"We tried to take the _Aleri_ back." The marine sergeant explained. "But after the strike team was wiped out, we gave up."

Tali forced down panic. Her father was alive, he had to be. "Hold here sergeant. If the geth try and take the shuttle, get out of here. We'll find our own way back."

"If we're not back in two hours, destroy the ship." Shepard ordered.

"Copy that Commander. Keelah Se'lai." The sergeant saluted, then took up a firing position with the rest of his squad.

"On me." Shepard ordered, and Tali and Garrus silently followed him down the hallway.

"Clear." Shepard whispered, and Tali stormed through the door.

"Nothing but more bodies." Tali commented.

"I'll check them." Garrus kneeling and checking the vitals of the three dead quarians. "Nothing."

"Wait, what's that?" Tali hissed. A soft clanking sound was drawing closer.

"Sounds like..." Shepard suddenly sprayed a burst of fire randomly down the hallway and threw a smoke bomb down the hall for good measure. Several shapes flickered, then grew visible in the haze.

"Hunters!" Garrus shouted, opening fire with his rifle with deadly accuracy.

"For the Fleet!" Tali shouted, and leapt forward, slamming her combat knife into the optics of the closest hunter. It's infiltration field failed and it slumped down to the floor.

Before Tali could do anything further, the blast from another geth hunter's gun caught her square in the chest and knocked her back, draining her shields. Shepard stepped between Tali and the geth and fired into its main cortex at point blank range with disruptor rounds, slagging the platform.

"That all of them?" Tali gasped, rubbing her bruised ribs.

Garrus tapped his eye piece and scanned the room. "Looks like it. Now we know how they took out that strike team so easily.

"We had best warn the shuttle then." Shepard said, and touched a hand to his ear. "Shepard to shuttle team, be advised the geth have infiltration units and may come in cloaked. "

"Roger that Commander, we will set up a drone with a remote scanner." The quarian sergeant replied.

"Let's go, my father is in the middle of all this." Tali urged.

Shepard nodded, and the moved through the corridors, Garrus with his all seeing eye taking the lead.

They were making their way up a stair well when Garrus suddenly shouted "Contacts!" And fired with his sniper rifle.

"Go chickita, go for the optics!" Tali ordered her drone and she fired her shot gun blindly.

The fire from the squad revealed several stealthed geth, and then troopers and a juggernaut poured out of the door way.

"Grenade!" Shepard shouted, tossing an inferno charge and ducking as the flames washed over the balcony above them.

"Die you bosh'tets!" Tali screamed as she charged the balcony, heedless of the flames.

The geth were still recovering, and Tali gunned down the juggernaut and cracked the butt of her gun over the head of a trooper. Garrus came up behind her and shot a second trooper through the head.

Shepard appeared through the smoke and checked the hallway. "Damn Tali," He coughed, "I know you want to find your father but if you get yourself killed you won't do him any good at all."

Tali ignored Shepard and brushed past him. "And we don't do anyone any good standing here like good little targets. Come on."

The corridor ahead was clear, and Tali found the body of a quarian scientist by a computer and quickly began browsing through the files.

"This doesn't make any sense!" She exclaimed as she read the entries.

"What? What's the matter?" Shepard asked, keeping his eyes on the corridor head of them.

"Listen to this." Tali hit the play button, and her father's voice began speaking.

"Project log seven dash six dash two seven. Tali must know nothing of what is going on here. If word of what we are doing gets back to the migrant fleet we would all be branded traitors. Tali's involvement must be limited to sending back samples only. End log."

"Sounds like they were up to something shady." Garrus remarked, eyes watching the halls behind them.

"What in the name of the ancestors was my father doing that he had to deliberately hide it from me?" Tali asked in confusion, her mind simply unable to grasp what her father could have been up to.

"According to the schematics the admirals gave us, there should be a security station up ahead. Maybe we can find something there." Shepard ventured.

Tali nodded. "Yes, and that would be the perfect place for my father to hole up. Let's go."

The security room turned out to be opened, and full of geth to boot. In the enclosed space though, Shepard's assault rifle and Tali's shotgun quickly tore the four troopers guarding it to pieces.

"These geth are getting dumber." Garrus observed, kicking one over to examine it. "That's good, that means' there aren't that many of them left."

"Don't let your guard down though." Shepard ordered as he crouched by the door, "It doesn't take much smarts to put a round through your head."

Tali quickly scanned through the available files until she found something interesting. "This looks like the last series of logs submitted to the security station." She told Garrus.

"Hmm. Damaged though. Shouldn't take long to repair it." Garrus remarked after taking a look himself.

"Better hurry, we are on a timer here." Shepard called.

In a few minutes Tali and Garrus had repaired the file and opened it.

"We are starting up the neural network. All security personal standby. We don't expect a breach, but be prepared for the worst." Tali read.

"Does that mean what I think it does?" Garrus asked softly.

"I-" Tali began, then stopped. "No, it can't. My father would never actually try and activate the geth..."

"All systems functioning as expected, the geth are accepting the hacks and are now open to our commands." Tali continued reading aloud, "Phase one complete, starting up additional systems."

"And after that, 'Mayday mayday, geth platforms coming online. They have defeated the hacks. All security personal respond." Garrus read. "There's nothing after that."

"No!" Tali screamed, putting a fist through the projector. "There's no way my father would do this! This is treason!"

"Maybe he was unaware of the project?" Garrus offered, "Those logs have someone else's stamp on them."

"But he was in overall command. What ever happened was his responsibility." Tali stated. "We have to get to the bottom of this. There has to be survivors somewhere, and my father is with them."

Garrus and Shepard exchanged a quick look, but said nothing. The squad moved off through the next corridor towards the main labs.

"The labs have to be where they're keeping the geth network." Tali stated, "And if things went wrong, that's where my father would have been."

Just as Tali finished, a rocket streaked by and the resulting explosion fried the squads shields. Everyone dove for cover as a geth trooper squad advanced, laying down heavy fire.

"What was that about them getting dumber?" Tali shouted as she pointed her omni-tool at the leading geth and shorted its motivator.

"Well, comparatively speaking." Garrus answered as he fired near point blank at a trooper with his rifle, cracking its chest open.

Shepard slapped aside a troopers rifle bare handed then kicked in the chest as hard as he could. He followed up with a double tap to the geth platforms head. "Less witty banter, more dead geth." He grunted.

The last geth trooper was dispatched by Tali with several blasts to its center of mass. "Come on, the labs right there!" She urged.

"Hold up, it's not sealed." Garrus cautioned, "Let's take this slow."

"Father?" Tali called into the lab. "Admiral Zorah?"

"Tali, if your hearing this-" Her father's voice began.

"He's alive!" Tali gasped, and ran through the door way. She had time to look around to see her father laying down on the floor before her world exploded in pain. Two geth hunters had been waiting for her and had opened up as soon as Tali showed herself. She slumped to the floor as she watched a pool of her own blood spread across the floor.

A few minutes later, Tali's world came back into focus as the frantic face of Shepard peered down at her.

"Tali? Tali are you alright?" He asked, clutching her hand.

"Oooh." Tali moaned, sitting up. She glanced around, and finding her father quickly crawled over to him.

"Father! You're alright it's me, Tali your-"

"Tali, if your hearing this, it means I am dead." Her father's voice began as a small image of him flickered to life above his suit. "I want whoever finds this to give my daughter this recording, and to let her know that I loved her."

"No..." Tali gasped, clutching her still bloody chest. "No..."

"I want those who come after to know, everything I did here was for my daughter. When she was a girl, I promised myself that one day I would build her a house on the homeworld. Everything I did throughout my life, was for her. I know I was not the most warm or loving father, but I did love you Tali."

Tali's vision fogged as tears leaked from her eyes. She knelt beside her father's body, shaking his shoulder weakly. "No, you're not dead, you can't be! There must be something, a hidden life support system, a way to cloak your bodies life signs..."

"What happened here was of my own doing. Whoever finds this, tell the other admirals. Tali had nothing, I repeat nothing to do with all this. She had no knowledge of how her findings would be used. I deceived her for her own good, her own safety. At the end it was a fools hope, I know, but we had to try. The geth cannot be controlled. They never will be. War is the only option now."

Shaking hands removed a shot of medigel as Tali desperately tried to inject her father.

"It's no use Tali, I checked. He's dead." Shepard said gently, taking the vial and injecting it into Tali's own wounds.

"May the Ancestor's forgive me. Keelah Se'lai." Tali's father's voice finished, and the image winked out.

"It was programmed to respond to your voice." Garrus explained. "But he'd been dead a long time. Probably since before you got the message two days ago. I'm sorry."

"No..." Tali sobbed, covering her face with her hands, refusing to look at her father's body.

"Shh." Shepard whispered, enfolding Tali in his arms. "Shhh. It will be alright. I'm here for you."

Tali lay in Shepard's arms on the floor by the body of her father, still sobbing. What could she do? Her father was dead, and a traitor to boot. What could she do?

"I won't let you go Tali. Not now, not ever. " Shepard whispered, "It's going to be alright."

Tightening her arms, Tali clung to Shepard as she was swept away in a sea of emotions. Everything she knew about her father was shattered. He had committed the blackest of crimes in the name of love. He had brought parts to create active geth then started them up. She could guess what he had been up to, though her mind had refused to admit it before. He had been trying to find a way to hack geth, to command them. A way to introduce weakness into the collective consciousness so that the quarians could destroy them. He had failed, and it had cost him everything, more than just his life.

"We can't tell them." Tali whispered. "We can't let the admirals know what happened here."

"But this clears your name." Garrus pointed out. "Your fathers own words, you were a patsy, you knew nothing."

"No!" Tali said more forcefully, standing shakily with Shepard's help. "Give me a few minutes."

"Hurry." Shepard urged, "We only have about 45 minutes left."

Tali worked furiously for 30 minutes, then finally stopped and stretched. "Ok, this should work." She hit a button, and her father's voice began to play.

"Ancestor's forgive her, Tali has betrayed us. The latest batch of parts she sent us contained active geth programs. Somehow, they got into the system and activated the test platforms. We're going to try to retake the ship, but everything I've worked on here is lost. I will never had my house on the homeworld now. Keelah se'lai."

"But that goes against everything your father would have wanted!" Shepard gasped, staring at Tali.

Tali shrugged. "If the truth gets out, my father's name will be stricken from every ships manifest he ever served on. His name will be used as a monster story to frighten children with. I cannot allow that. I have a new home, the fleet declared it themselves. I belong on the _Normandy_, with you John. You, Garrus... Even EDI. You will be my new home."

Garrus's mandibles twitched uncomfortably. "What do we do about the rest of the geth on the ship?"

"Have the fleet destroy it," Tali explained, "Tell them the geth have gone fully active and are making to many. Blow the _Aleri_ up. A hard loss, but compared to what my father could have cost the fleet a small price." A small smile played on Tali's lips, and she forced herself to say, "I mean me. What I could have cost the fleet."

"But... You... Tali this would destroy you. Your people are everything to you." Shepard managed, a pained look on his face.

"I have a new ship now." Tali said firmly. "And a new captain. Let the _Aleri_ be my father's funeral pyre."

"Well either way we've got to get out of here." Garrus urged, "We barely have enough time to make it out."

"Let's go then." Tali hobbled out the door with Shepard's aid, scrambling for the shuttle.

They made it back with six minutes to spare.

"Any sign of survivors?" The sergeant asked hopefully.

"No." Tali bluntly stated, then sealed the door. "The ship is crawling with geth. Signal the fleet. The _Aleri_ has to be destroyed. "

"Oh. Of course." The sergeant said, obviously not satisfied with Tali's answer. He made the call though, and behind the shuttle the _Aleri_ bloomed into a crimson star for a brief, silent moment. Then all that remained of Tali's father's blasphemy was dust and echoes of light.

Back aboard the Rayya, Tali had to be helped back to the main garden by Shepard.

"Let me present the data." Shepard quietly urged.

"No." Tali said firmly. "They have to hear it from me. From my own lips."

Shepard just silently continued on, letting Tali rest her head on his shoulder. It actually felt rather nice, Tali admitted to herself. Too bad they were going to be condemned by her people for all time.

The garden was abuzz with voices as the quarians speculated as to just what sort of news Tali had brought. The admirals waited, Han'Gerrals gripping the bar with white knuckles, Daro'Xen idly examined her finger nails, and Zael'Koris paced worriedly. Above them, Shala'Raan tapped her foot worriedly, her arms crossed over her breast.

The hall hushed as Tali hobbled forward, holding up the data.

"Admirals!"

Heads turned as Shepard stepped forward. "Admirals, Tali is injured, but she still persists in defending herself."

"No!" Tali hissed, trying to get Shepard to stop.

"I ask to present this for her, as her captain." Shepard continued, carefully snatching the data slip from Tali. "Trust me." He said for Tali's ear's only, giving her a wink.

Tali sagged. "Do what you want." She said reluctantly. Hopefully, Shepard wasn't about to destroy her father forever.

"Naturally." Zael'Koris managed, "I believe that is how things are supposed to go."

"Well let's hear it then human, what happened to Raal!" Han demanded.

Shepard held up the data slip as if it play it, then paused. He brought it down, examined it carefully, then put it in a pouch at his waist. "I'll be honest with you admirals, the geth destroyed almost everything."

"No!" Tali moaned, "What are you doing."

"Let the man work." Garrus whispered, hugging Tali close. "I think I know where this is going."

"What little data we retrieved honestly doesn't tell much of a story. It's what you already knew. That the Tali was sending her father geth parts, and he was testing weapons on them."

Shepard paused, and put his head down, whispering to himself for a moment before he looked up again.

"Get to the point." Raan snapped, " No more bluster Captain Shepard."

Shepard leaned forward on the railing, looking directly into the face plate of each admiral in turn as he spoke. "But that isn't the evidence you need. The evidence you need is right here before you!" He turned suddenly and pointed at Tali.

"Even when she stood accused of treason, even when she could have begged for more time to look for her father's body or even hold on to the hope that he might be alive on the _Aleri_ somewhere, what did Tali'Zorah do?" Shepard demanded.

Turning to the crowd, Shepard seemed to address each quarian in turn. "Instead, for the good of the fleet, for the good of the quarian people, Tali chose to sacrifice her one chance of clearing her name and of finding her father. She ordered the fleet to fire on the _Aleri_ to save the quarian people!"

Shepard slammed his fists onto the rail. "You should be thanking her! No one else would venture into that vipers nest! She was nearly killed bringing out what little there was to be saved. And yet still you stand here, accusing her of treason!"

Shepard turned to face Tali again, holding out a hand to her like he was asking her to dance. "Out of all the members of the fleet, none have given more than Tali. She put her own pilgrimage on hold, not knowing she would find something of great worth to fight a threat to the quarian people. The geth, being led by a rogue specter with a reaper controlling them all! Never has a more dire threat to quarians arisen since the first war with the geth!"

He spun suddenly, pointing an accusing finger at Zael'Koris. "Instead of thanking her you plot to destroy her! And now, when again the galaxy is in peril and the pawns of the reapers and allies of the geth appear again, Tali puts her life on the line to stand opposed to them! No other quarian has given the _Normandy_ and its crew aid though we stand in the gap for the quarian people! No other quarian has risked her life to destroy the Migrant Fleets enemies where ever they can be found! Tali'Zorah has!"

Shepard shrugged theatrically. "If you want more proof then that, I can offer you none. And nothing in the galaxy could convince you further. You have already decided the verdict in your hearts."

Tali's mouth snapped shut when she realized she had been staring open mouthed at Shepard. This had not been what she expected at all. She stepped forward and embraced her captain. Her champion.

"Thank you." She whispered.

"No matter what they say, I know what you feel in your heart." Shepard whispered to her. "I love you, and I'll always be here for you."

"I love you too." Tali sobbed.

"A-hem."

Tali and Shepard suddenly parted, and turned to face the admiralty board.

"As touching as that was, it unfortunately does not constitute evidence." Admiral Zael remarked. "So unless you have any more pontificating to do, why don't you hand over that data."

Tali tensed. She had though Shepard had found a way out for her, but this was it. "Do it."She urged.

Shepard reached into the pouch and pulled out the data, handing it to the bailiff. "Fine."

The bailiff inserted the chip into a player, and Admiral Zorah's voice began to speak.

"Year 290 in exile, month 2 day 13. Today, Tali sent us one intact geth plasma rifle, and two geth optical chips. Year 290 in exile, month 3, day 27. Today Tali sent in two geth arm motivators and a partially intact geth memory bank, an excellent find! Year 290 in exil-"

"Turn it off, that's enough." Han ordered. "We all know just how much Tali sent back, and what all was. I for one, do not believe it could have self activated. I helped draw up the parameters for what was safe myself."

The bailiff turned the display off and pocketed the chip.

Tali once again stared at Shepard in shock. How could he have managed that?

"The admiral's will now key in their votes." Raan ordered.

Han immediately stabbed at his consol. Tali was certain that was one vote to clear her name. Xen took a bit longer, then idly keyed in a command and leaned back, stretching as if bored. Zael took the longest, staring first at Tali, then at Shepard. Then he shook his head and keyed in his own vote.

"The admirals have reached a verdict." Raan intoned. "Tali is cleared of all charges by a unanimous vote."

Tali sagged in relief as the chamber exploded into chatter, as if all the words the quarians had been holding in all came out in a rush. Many were cries of celebration, a few of outrage. Most were just curious to know what had really happened on the _Aleri_.

"Tali'Zorah, you are hereby freed from custody." Raan shouted over the din. "You may return to your ship. Keelah Se'lai."

Not even the ancient blessing of the quarians got anyone to shut up, and Tali was escorted by a squad of marines back to the _Normandy_.

"Good show ma'am." The squad leader shouted, slapping Tali on the back.

"Reegar?" Tali asked, coming out of her daze.

"Damn right it is. That trial was a load of krogan turds, everyone knew it nobody wanted to say it." Reegar cheerfully stated. "Hell, I testified as to your competence and loyalty myself. So did that Veetor kid. Something wrong with that boy though, don't think he helped all that much."

"Oh, um, thank you." Tali managed.

"My pleasure ma'am, anytime." Reegar assured her. The marine glanced around then leaned in close, "Just make sure you use protection, I was with an asari once and got some 'stuff' on her. She broke out in hives for a week."

"Ok?" Tali gasped, then they were at the air lock.

Reegar and the marines saluted. "Glad to have you back, even for only a little while ma'am. Keelah se'lai."

"Keelah se'lai." Shepard echoed, returning the salute

"Kibbles and fry!" Garrus shouted, firing off a rather sloppy salute of his own.

The marines laughed, and in a moment Tali was behind the closing air lock doors.

"Well, that turned out better than I ever thought it would." Shepard sighed, leaning on the bulkhead.

"What did you do?" Tali demanded.

Shepard grinned and handed her a data chit. "I swapped the chips. I had EDI over right the chip log in your fathers voice while I played for time."

"Played for time?" Tali gasped, "Shepard, that was the most amazing thing anyone has ever done for me. You made me sound so perfect!"

"Yeah well, just remember kids, Shepard has a much bigger room now, and it's sound proof. So keep all your vows of everlasting fidelity confined to where nobody but the space hamster can hear you." Garrus snarked, stepping out of the air lock, "And remember, always use protection! That whole dextro-lavo thing is bad for the skin."

"What protection?" Tali called after Garrus, "And where are you going in such a hurry?"

"I had today in the pool!" Garrus hooted as he pranced up to the cock pit. His voice floated back down the hall. "You got that on speaker right Joker? Tell me you got that all on speaker. I want my credits transferred here..."

"What is he on about?"Tali wondered.

"I'm not sure." Shepard answered, rubbing his jaw. Though the way he said it made Tali think that he knew more than he was letting on.

"You know, Reegar told me to use protection too, something about an asair and-" Suddenly, the implications of what they were saying finally struck home to Tali.

"Oh keelah!" She cried, "They think we're going to, well you know, not that I wouldn't, I really do like you Shepard and you were so amazing back there, whew is it hot in here or is it just my suit? Anyway, I know we said the whole I love you thing and I really do but I won't force you to hold to that, not unless you want to which would be fine cause I do like you and in that way, not not in that way which by I mean I do like you in a sexual way-"

"Tali." Shepard gently put his finger to her vocalizer. Tali's eyes crossed as she tried to focus on it. "Your under a lot of stress right now. Calm down. I do love you. I think I have finally realized I love you more than anybody. And not like Garrus, even if he is my best friend. It's more than that. If you want to be friends, we can be friends. But if you want more than that, I can be that too."

Tali's mind went blank. It had been a stressful day. Her father had died, she had tried to falsely betray her people, Shepard had done the impossible again, and now the whole ship would know they had the hots for each other. And by what Reegar had said, the whole migrant fleet probably knew by now as well. Now, Shepard and her were confessing their love for each other and being given relationship advice by a quarian marine and a turian vigilante. It was just too much.

"Oh." Was what came out.

Shepard hugged her again and kissed the top of her helmet. "You've had a hard day. Get some rest, then I'm going to have Kelly start you on grief counseling. Actually, she should probably do that for both of us. But first I'm going to take a shower."

With that, they parted and he walked away. Tali leaned on a rail, staring after him and enjoying the warm feeling that had spread all over her body.

"God dammit, I had tomorrow!" Someone shouted, and suddenly Tali realized that the whole bridge was grinning stupidly at her and that no work was getting done at all.

"Oh go take a long walk out a short airlock you bosh'tets!" Tali shouted, then walked to the elevator and took a ride to the crew quarters. A rest sounded just right at the moment.

_Unna'Karis: I'm sorry, I have to stop. To know your father... Why are you telling me this?  
Tali'Zorah: Because soon I too will pass, and the truth must be known. And perhaps, as an apology to your own father, and the ghosts of the past. _

Authors Note:

Happy new year! I decided to celebrate the new year by getting sick, so that's why this chapter too so long to get up. Enjoy, and thanks for reading.

(Also, if you didn't take the paragon interrupt in this mission, you know the one, even if you are a renegade YOU HAVE NO SOUL. I don't care if you are female, romancing someone else, or a full renegade. If you don't give Tali a hug, YOU HAVE NO SOUL. That is all)


	32. Interim 3

Interim

Utter panic. That was all Unna'Karis could feel at the moment as she scrambled to turn off the data recorder.

"Lady Tali, your sure? Absolutely sure? Your father really did betray the fleet?"

It was impossible. Rael'Zorah was remember as a hero. Someone who had done everything in his power to preserve his people and been instrumental in their return to Rannoch. Even her own father who admitted a bit of a rivalry with him and was head of the Regrets had a hard time criticizing the father of the quarians greatest heroes. But now this...

Tali drew out a small data chip. "Take this with you. It contains all the files I found."

Unna hesitated a moment. This chip... It could unleash either blessings or horrors. "I will, Lady Tali."

She bowed again and rushed out, remembering just in time to put her mask on as there was a dust advisory today. It was not the full face mask of yore, though it was modeled on it. A cloth head wrap with goggles and a cloth filter for the mouth and nose. It was not environmentally sealed, but on dry Rannoch it was useful. She hopped in her car and slammed the door, slipping the data chit onto the player as she sped away.

"Tali, if you are listening then I am dead. The geth have gone active. I don't have much time. The main hub will be on the bridge. You need to destroy it to stop the VI processors from forming new neural links. Make sure Han'Gerral and Daro'Xen see the data. You must-"

Confused, Unna stopped the car and looked at her notes. It was nothing like what Tali had told her. Where was the bit about loving his daughter, about building her a house. She played it back again. This made Rael seem like an unfeeling monster, spending his last moments ordering his daughter to certain doom. But if this was different... She hurried home. There was one other person alive who knew what had happened on the _Aleri_.

"Computer, I need to make a priority call."

A small image of a geth appeared. "Where may we direct your call?"

"Garrus Vakarian. Put on the heading, 'Tali told me what happened on the Aleri.' Do not go through normal channels, use the black uplink my father put on the system."

For once, Unna was grateful for her fathers connections. The unlisted comm uplink was about as secure as you could get, though Unna had never had cause to use it before. The military hadn't removed it, mostly because Unna was considered important enough to merit a secure link if she needed one.

"Acknowledged Creator Unna."

"Just do it." Unna growled. She didn't feel like putting up with the geth program today.

There was a few minutes of silence, and Unna was half afraid Garrus wouldn't pick up. He was old, and not many people even knew where he was or what he did. Unna certainly didn't, and hadn't had cause to wonder till now.

"This is Vekarian. And this had better be damn good." A turian voice growled.

"Mr. Vekarian? Sir? This is Unna'Karis, Admiral Karis's daughter. I'm interviewing Lady Tali'Zorah, she's telling me her life's story. Apparently, all of it."

There was a few moments silence. "Well damn. What did she say happened?"

"A few details were different from what history remembers, but I need you to confirm one thing for me. What did Rael's last message to his daughter say? I'm sorry sir, I need to know it's you."

A short bark of life came from the link. "Ha. How do I know this isn't some trolling reporter? Well, I'll give you this much. What Rael said and what Tali probably told you he said? Very different. She always was the sentimental sort."

"Then he did betray the fleet?" Unna squeaked before she caught herself.

"Guess she is telling you everything. Let me lay it out for you kid." Garrus sighed, "Rael's last words? Canned, generic orders. I don't even thing it was specifically addressed to Tali. She mixed it with some comment of his we found about wanting to build a house for his daughter and made it seem all noble in her memory. The truth? That file she remixed claiming she betrayed the fleet, she didn't have to change it all that much."

"What about the Commander? What about John? Did they really love each other then?" Unna demanded, "Did you really win a betting pool about when they declared their love for each other?"

Another pause, and a hooting sound came over the speaker. "Well I guess every secret really is coming out. Yeah, I did win that pool. Quite a bit of money from that one. And kid, they did love each other. No matter what anyone else says, the Commander didn't suckered her into his bed and she didn't seduce him so he would give the quaren's aid in taking back Rannoch. Those too were made for each other. When she found out he truely died... Well, I was there, and the way she mourned is the way you morn when the love of your life passes. Not that I would know."

A voice could be heard in the background. "I love you too sweet heart!" Garrus called. "Listen kid, I have to get back to work. But trust me on this one. Rael'Zorah was a certifiable bastard. He had good intentions, but as the humans say, that's how the road to hell was made. I've gotta go."

The link went dead, and Unna stared at it for a moment.

"Would you like to make another call creator Unna?" The geth program asked.

"No. Make a copy of the call, save it to my personal omni-tool then delete all other records." Unna said, sitting down.

She began to play through the list. Rael did make a comment about wanting to build Tali a house, but it was more of a urge to bolster his comrades and a declaration that their cause was righteous. Totally different from what Tali remembered.

She brought up the data file from the trial. Tali had saved that one as well. Shepard looked a little less heroic and a little more haggard, and his words were not quite the same nor as stirring. But the message was the same. You owe Tali, and she is wonderful. And when he looked at Tali, the look was one of love. They did embrace at the end, and the verdict was not guilty. But it wasn't unanimous. And Unna knew. Her father had voted to condemn Tali. She had forgiven, she had forgotten.

"Ancestors." Unna gasped. This was all so hard to believe. Her whole world was crumbling. Her father was not the man she had known, and heroes of her people were being shown to be less than the paragons they were remembered as. Her father was being vindictive and petty toward an innocent girl, probably just playing fleet politics. Even The Shepard was being cast in a far different light, one not as flawless and heroic has most people saw him in. Unna had expected that to some degree, being related to a quarian hero meant she had seen he wasn't everything people made him out to be. And now her father was looking far, far worse then she had been willing to think he was.

She sat down and pulled up her notes, adding something to the beginning.

"The writer would like to inform the reader that the following is the account of Tali'Zorah nar Rayya vas Normandy vas Rannoch. It is her memories, her vision. It may differ from other accounts, but this is what she experienced."

She started at the words, then deleted them. People would have to draw their own conclusions. But for Unna, the picture of a sterling heroine was gone. In its place was just a woman. A heroic one, to be sure, but one that was a mere mortal.

"Maybe that's what she wants." Unna mused aloud. "To be remembered as who she was. Or even as she sees herself. Not perfect, just a woman."

The dreams Unna had that night were troubled, haunted by her father cruelly manipulating things in the shadows, a weak, cowardly Shepard and a Tali that blithely ignored danger.

The next day, Unna returned to Tali's lonely house on a cliff.

"I talked to Garrus Vekarian last night." Unna told Tali as they sat.

"Oh?" Tali answered, sipping from a cup of tea.

"He confirmed what you said. Though his memories of what happened are different." Unna answered, swirling the tip of her finger in her own cup.

Tali carefully set the tea down and folded her hands in her lap. "Unna, I make no claim that my recount is not biased. There were people on the Normandy, great heroes, who I barely mention. I remember Kasumi Goto well, for instance, and we shared many evenings giggling together. But have I told you of her at all?"

Unna shook her head. She knew the name of course. Every member of Shepards team was legend, even the Lady of the Night. And quite a few specialists and file shovers who wouldn't be regarded as heroes if they hadn't served on one of the _Normandy's._

"That is because she had little to do with my story in the end. Neither did Jacob Taylor, or Zaeed Massani, or many others. I remember those who did best, and they are a part of the story I am telling. Perhaps I do them a disservice, but they have their own stories, many of which are well known legends. My own story is rather different from the official version."

"No kidding." Unna muttered, peering into her cup.

"Unna, about your father..." Tali cleared her throat.

"I know he voted to exile you." Unna whispered.

"Yes." Tali said softly.

"Then why!" Unna wailed, spilling tea from her cup as it trembled in her hand, "Why did you tell me it was unanimous to release you!"

"Because the man I knew later would have done so. He told me that himself." Tali said gently, taking Unna's hands in her own. "And it is best to remember our fathers well. To forgive them their sins."

Tears leaked from Unna's eyes. "So that's why?" She whispered, "You forgave him?"

"Yes." Tali answered. "That's another thing I learned from John."

Unna wiped her eyes and brought out her recorder. She needed to hear where her father was deserving of the mercy that Tali was showing him. "Then let's hear more of your story. Of the love story."


	33. Chapter 29: You Raise Me Up

Chapter 29: You Raise Me Up

_Unna'Karis: So tell me more, about the love story_

_Tali'Zorah: I suppose that should be easy enough. Really, this is the time when it finally began to blossom. It had a long way to go before it entered full bloom, after Rannoch was saved, but seeds had grown and sprouted. _

The morning after leaving the migrant fleet, Tali awoke to find a message on her omni-tool directing her to see Kelly after breakfast. Since for her that was a nutrient tube, she made her way up to the bridge directly.

"Kelly, don't tell me that this is about me confessing my undying love for Shepard."

Kelly smiled coyly, "Mayyyybe." Then she turned serious. "What this is about Tali, is you just went through a very traumatic experience. I'm a certified therapist, and it's my job to evaluate you. Come on, were going down to the starboard lounge."

A part of Tali wanted to argue that she was fine, that she could keep on keeping on, but that was only a small part. The rest of her was still hurting to much from the loss of her father, and the near loss of her people. She followed Kelly down to the lounge, where Kelly promptly poured them both a drink.

"Isn't it a bit early for that?" Tali asked, picking up her drink.

"It's not alcohol. It's a turian energy drink I stole from Garrus and had EDI run through the filters. Sort of a general pick me up. Try it." Kelly urged.

Screwing the drink in, Tali took a cautious sip. "Not bad, better then nutrient paste anyway."

"Why don't you tell me your favorite memory of our father?" Kelly prompted, sipping from her own glass.

That took some thinking about. Tali didn't actually have that many memories of her father that were happy. "When I was just a girl, he spent the whole day with me and my mother. She was still alive, and I was very small. I remember him taking us up to the observation deck and pointing out a distant faint star. It was Rannoch."

Tali's throat was suddenly raw and she took another drink. "'Tali, one day, were going to see that up close. Together.' He told me. I believed him, I didn't understand quite what he meant at the time, I was very young. But now... Now I think he was making a vow to bring me there one day."

Kelly nodded. "That sounds very special to you."

"It was, to quarians, our homeworld is everything. That's what Keelah Se'lai means. 'By the Homeworld I hope to see.' I don't think any other race really understands that."

"I can't imagine what I would do if Earth was taken away." Kelly admitted. "I was born on a colony and I've only ever visited, but in some way it's still home."

"Quarians don't even have the ability to found colonies now." Tali continued, "Our relationship with Rannoch is symbiotic."

"Your planet never developed insect life, that's why you have such weak immune systems right?"

"Correct. Not many aliens know that. No offense."

"None taken, I have an active interest in all alien life."

Tali nodded slowly. "You talked about loveing aliens. I heard Shepard talking about love once. About forgiveness. Something about Jeebus."

Kelly giggled and smiled. "It's actually 'Jesus.' He was a teacher on Earth over 2000 years ago. He preached forgiveness and love. Some people say he was the son of God, that's what Christianity, Shepard's old religion, is since Jesus was known as the Christ. Personally I don't believe that, but I do think his teachings were wonderful."

"What happened, to Jesus that is." Tali asked.

Kelly was quiet for a moment. "He was nailed to a tree and tortured to death."

"What?" Tali exclaimed, "Who would torture someone to death for preaching love and peace!"

The image that came to Tali's mind was Kelly being killed for loving others with such an open heart, and always smiling to everyone. Not even the krogan had hated Kelly.

"It was a human cultural thing. There were a lot of reasons given. His people were ruled by another nation of humans, and some claimed he was inciting rebellion. Others took offense that he claimed to be God's son. Religious persecution was common on Earth." Kelly grimaced, "Actually, to be fair, it still is."

"So why did Shepard believe in those teachings then reject them?" Tali demanded, "And why was it so traumatic? Did he stop believing in love?"

Kelly gazed out the porthole in silence for a minute. "That's a complicated question Tali. And I think it's one that cuts to the heart of the matter with your father. Do you think he stopped believing in love?"

"No!" Tali immediately answered, then hesitated. "Well, maybe. I don't know. He was always so cold, so focused on his work."

"And Shepard is not?" Kelly pressed.

That threw Tali for a loop. "I- I don't know."

"There's an old saying humans have. Girls try and marry their fathers. Shepard and your father are a lot alike. But do you doubt that Shepard cares for you? He's only ever said he loved you once."

That was a hard question for Tali to answer, and it was her turn to gaze out the view port while sipping her drink. "No, I guess not. I just... Know he cares for me. Even before he said he loved me, I knew I mattered to him."

"How." Kelly pressed, staring into Tali's eyes.

"How he acts around me. The fact that whenever he has free time he spends it with me. Or Garrus, but that's different somehow. That he's willing to seem weak and vulnerable around me, that seems important for some reason."

Kelly nodded. "Those are all good reasons. Shepard isn't the warmest or most affectionate person."

"And neither was my father." Tali agreed. "But when we were together... Really together, not just working together, he talked to me. Told me he was proud of me. And he dedicated his life's work to me, I guess. His work was everything to him."

"It's that way for a lot of men. It's hard for us girls to understand sometimes because men don't emote the same way we do, or talk things out as much."

"I don't talk things out that much either." Tali replied, "And I never really have. I was always more comfortable with machines. When I get nervous, my mouth just gets away from me."

"But have you always had someone you talked to when things got bad?" Kelly pressed, "You can't expect your father or Shepard to do that."

"Who is this conversation about anyway?" Tali demanded, "My father or Shepard?"

"You." Kelly stated. "And what you need. Right now your wrestling with feelings for Shepard and grief for your father. I think this is what you need."

"I supposed." Kelly detached her empty vial and peered into it. "Got another one of these?"

Kelly reached behind the counter and filled the vial up again. "Drink up."

They sat quietly for a few minutes, Kelly nursing her first drink and Tali slowly sipping away at her own.

"I guess the worst part is, I never got to say goodbye to my father. Just like I never said goodbye to Shepard when he mostly died."

"We often don't get to say good bye. What was the last really good time you spent with your father?"

"My pilgrimage return dinner." Tali answered immediately. "It was over two years ago now, right before the first Normandy was destroyed. That night, I slept in the same blankets as my father, and he told me he was proud of me. It was wonderful."

"Then that's how you should remember him" Kelly said, reaching out to give Tali's hand a squeeze. "You should remember him, on that night. Close by you, both of you happy, him opening up to you."

Tali nodded. "I think that is how I want to remember him. I think that was probably the happiest night of my life."

"Then do so. We're the ones who choose what we remember. Whenever you think of your father, hold that time in your mind and don't let go of it."

Kelly stood and stretched. "Well, I think that's it for today's session. You're still grieving, but you're not a wreck. Fit for duty!"

Kelly started to walk off, but Tali called, "Wait, Kelly, I don't know how to say this but..."

Pausing, Kelly skipped back to her seat. "Yes?" She asked, a huge grin on her face.

"Well, I've never..." Tali stammered.

"You're a virgin?!" Kelly gasped.

"What? Well, yes, what I was going to say is had a serious boyfriend!" Tali admitted.

"Oh dear." Kelly managed. She reached behind the bar and pulled out a bottle of beer. "I think I'm going to need at least one of these."

"Well, it's just, I don't know how else..."

"Tali, you can talk to me or Dr. Chakwas about this, whomever you would be more comfortable with. I think I can safely say were both... Experienced... In these matters." Kelly said, taking a pull from the beer.

"You've had a lot of boy friends?" Tali asked.

"Ha!" Kelly gave Tali a huge wink, "Sister, I've had human, turian, asari, and even a drell." Kelly leaned in close and whispered, "And not all of them were boys."

"You've dated that many species!" Tali squeaked. "And girls too?"

Kelly leaned back and gave Tali a lazy grin. "Who said anything about dating all of them? You're not homophobic are you Tali?"

"Homo-what?"

Kelly rolled her eyes. "Biased against those who take up with the same gender. Outside of asari, naturally."

"I, um, I don't know." Tali admitted. "For quarians, that sort of thing is pretty private. I mean, it's hard enough for couples who want to have kids to get alone time."

"Tali, you can't honestly tell me in those cramped quarters you didn't know of at least a few people who were getting it on."

"Well yes, but that's with stim programs and stuff. It's not real."

"Tali, I assure you that for some people, it is. You ever use a stim program with someone else?"

"I deleted mine." Tali admitted. "About ten times. I never used it."

At that, Kelly started choking on her beer. "You mean you've never even!"

"This is not what I wanted to talk about!" Tali cried, "I just wanted to talk about what humans expect out of their girlfriends!"

"If I may, Tali'Zorah, it would be advisable for you to simple ask Commander Shepard what he expects from a quarian girl friend. He had a similar conversation with Garrus Vakarian last night." EDI interrupted.

"EDI!" Tali exclaimed, "Your listening in on us!"

"I monitor all conversations aboard the ship for crew health." EDI answered, "According to my data bases, you are falling into a stereotypical behavior pattern humans would call 'A romantic comedy.' I wish for you to be more successful then the norm Tali'Zorah."

"I can't believe I'm saying this," Tali said after a few moments, "But I think maybe I should listen to the AI who has no feelings, hormones, or even a body."

"I am quite capable of simulating all three of those." EDI replied, "And I don't understand what all the fuss is about."

"Wait, go back," Kelly interjected, "What was that bit about Shepard talking with Garrus about a quarian girlfriend."

"Shepard asked Garrus if he knew anything about quarian relationship patters." EDI answered.

"What did Garrus say?" Tali asked.

"Playback." EDI said, then Garrus's voice said, "Well, there was this turian I knew who hooked with a quarian."

"Really?" Shepard's voice asked, "What was their relationship like?"

"Oh, it was OK I guess." Garrus answered, "That is, until the mask came off."

"What happened?" Shepard pressed.

"Oh, well, she died." Garrus answered.

"What! It killed her?" Shepard demanded.

"Well, you know how quarians have that week immune system and all."

"So she died from face to face contact?" Shepard sounded disappointed, but resolved.

"Oh, well, and that illegal nerve stim they were using. And the red sand. And probably also the fact that he had a venereal disease and didn't tell her." Garrus added.

"Dammit Garrus I'm being serious here!" Shepard snarled.

"So am I. Even with all the outside factors, there is still the risk."

"That part's up to Tali. What about behavior? What do quarians expect?"

"That part I don't actually know." Garrus admitted, "That guy only dated her for about an hour before they did the whole death by sex thing. Also, by knew him, I meant I was investigating him for murder."

"Garrus, don't make me hit you."

"Sorry Shepard, but there just isn't much I can tell you about quarians. Other than that they are ugly as they get without the mask on."

"That isn't what matters." Shepard replied, though he did hesitate for a moment.

"I would go so far to say that they are almost as ugly as human women. Even if their hips are very supportive."

"Remind me never to let a turian judge a beauty contest."

"After that," EDI's voice stated, "They proceeded to the friendly insults that make up 78.6% of their dialogue."

"Wow." Kelly mused, "Garrus can be a real jerk."

"That is it!" Tali declared, standing, "The next time I see Shepard, I'm going to tell him-"

"Tell me what?" The man himself asked, sauntering into the lounge. "EDI told me you were down here."

"Oh would you just look at that, I broke a nail." Kelly suddenly declared, "I'm going to have to see Dr. Chakwas about this. Have fun you two!"

Shepard stared at Kelly as she skipped out of the room. "What the heck?"

He turned back to Tali, "Anyway, what were you going to ask me?"

Tali took a deep breath. "I wanted to ask you what a human would expect from his girlfriend. If you want me to be your girlfriend, because I do want to be a girlfriend. To you, with you as the boyfriend, because even if I'm not homophobic like Kelly thinks I am that would still be weird because you're a boy and I'm not a boy but anyway I am sorry because EDI told me to ask you and then she told us what you and Garrus said about quarians and if you do have diseases it probably won't matter because any bacteria you have wouldn't survive for long in my system and I would just have an allergic reaction. And I don't do drugs and I hope you don't do drugs because that would make things worse. Unless you count alcohol but I sort of would prefer to be sober and anyway first we would have to work on kissing and hugging and things like that-"

At that, Shepard suddenly grabbed Tali, leaned her back, and planted a big, fat kiss right on her vocalizer. He held her there for a moment, then let her back up.

"I'm sorry, I only caught about half of that, but I got the part about dating and the kiss. Did I do ok?" Shepard asked with a grin.

"Ooo." Tali moaned.

"I'll take that as a yes." Shepard declared, and sat down and poured himself a cup of coffee. Black, naturally.

"So, just like that? We're dating?" Tali asked, taking a seat beside him.

"Well, I'm the ship's captain, and what I say goes, and I say we're dating. Plus, everyone on the ship seems to have decided we were dating about a month back. So what do I know?"

"There was a pool." Tali admitted. "Garrus won."

"I figured that part out." Shepard replied, "Especially after someone woke me up this morning with 'love songs courtesy of Garrus Vakarian, the ships richest turian.'"

"He's the ships only turian." Tali pointed out.

"Guess that means he's the richest too."

Tali giggled. "You didn't answer my question though."

Shepard frowned in puzzlement. "What question?"

"What do you humans expect from their girl friends?" Tali implored, "And then you have to ask what quarians expect from their boyfriends."

"Oh." Shepard busied himself with his coffee.

"Well?"

"That's.. A hard question." Shepard finally said. "I mean, right now, you're pretty much everything I could want from a girl friend."

"Even the... Physical contact?" Tali managed, though she was certain Shepard could she her blush through the mask.

That made Shepard choke on his coffee. "Um, about that. I know quarians have the whole immune system thing so..."

"That doesn't me we can't have... Sex... Ever." Tali made herself say. "Even with a human."

"No offense Tali, but that's going a little fast for me." Shepard managed with a grin, "Just how many men have you been with?"

"None." Tali admitted, "Ven was kind of my boyfriend, but we just cuddled and held hands, stuff like that."

"You're a virgin?!" Shepard spat, splattering coffee on Tali's chest.

"Why do people keep being so surprised about that!" Tali demanded. "I mean, I know most of my friends who came back from their pilgrimages weren't, but just because I was the only one I know-!"

"Well, you're just so..." Shepard began.

"So what?" Tali almost shouted.

"Sexy."

"What?" Tali managed, after she clacked her jaw shut.

"You're sexy." Shepard continued, "You've got great hips, you have this way of walking that puts a little waggle in your step, and you've got a lovely chest."

"But my chest is so big!"

Shepard wisely set his cup of coffee down before he choked to death. "That is um, not a bad thing to humans."

He cleared his throat. "And while we're on the topic, what do quarians look for in a boy friend?"

"You still haven't really answered my question," Tali pouted, earning her an exasperated look from Shepard, "But I would expect to spend time together that wasn't a mission. Eat together, even if it's not the same food. And going to 'cultural events' together would be nice."

"Tali, I love you, but I am not going to see elcor anything with you." Shepard remarked deadpan.

That put Tali into another fit of giggles. "Oh keelah, that was a once in a life time thing. Because any more than that and it would kill you."

"I wouldn't mind watching the Princess Bride with you, if that counts as a cultural event."

"If your there and it doesn't involve shooting people, I think it does."

"As you wish," Shepard declared, standing and bowing. "Let's go storm the castle."

"Do what?"

"Go to my quarters and watch the vid together." Shepard translated.

"Well why didn't you just say so!"

Going up to Shepard's quarters was amazing. They actually walked arm in arm, Tali leaning on Shepard's shoulder. She almost wanted to stop at each deck and parade him around a little, but she was too nervous to even suggest it.

When they arrived, Shepard dimmed the lights and then lay back on the bed with Tali snuggled up next to him.

The vid, Tali had to admit, was sort of charming and funny, in a strange way. The dialogue was snappy enough that most of it was pretty funny, though Tali felt that she was missing out on a good portion of it. Why people were so surprised to find giant mutant animals, or where or what Australia was and why it was populated entirely by criminals was lost on Tali, though Shepard found it pretty funny. Tali was pretty sure that getting into a land war in Asia was some sort of analogy for creating AI though, and she laughed hard at the line about everybody wearings masks one day.

After the vid finished, they stayed on the bed, just enjoying the silence for a time.

"I think I understand why you said you were mostly dead now." Tali finally said, "Though I think calling Miranda 'Miricle' is pushing it."

Shepard tensed, his jaw working for a few seconds. "That's not the real reason I told you I was mostly dead."

"Oh?"

"I wanted to believe that I was like Westly in the vid. Not all dead, just as close as you can get and still be resuscitated. I wanted to believe that I didn't miss out on heaven, or hell for that matter, simply because I never actually died. But I saw the pictures. I was a burned husk. For months. I was all dead. So then I realized, there is nothing after this. This is as good as it gets."

Tali was silent for a moment. "Quarians believe you go to be with the ancestors when you die. When I was a girl, being told that I would get to see my mother again was one of the things that kept me going at times."

"And now?"

"Now I don't know. It's scary to think that there is nothing after life, but from all the science and knowledge of the combined races, not to mention the Reapers... How could a god allow that to exist? How could the ancestors allow us to create the geth and nearly destroy ourselves? But when I think now both my parents are gone forever..."

Shepard squeezed Tali's shoulders, drawing her close. "I'm sorry, here we are talking about my problem, when the death of your father is still fresh. Have you even cried yet?"

The moisture build up in Tali's mask told her that she was even now. She had cried herself to sleep last night, until she had injected tranquilizers. After that she had been too busy, even with Kelly.

"I guess I am now." Tali hiccuped.

"Hey, it's OK. Let me try something."

Shepard began to sing then, soft and low. He had a deep, rich voice, and though it was raw with emotion, it comforted Tali.

_When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;  
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;  
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,  
Until you come and sit awhile with me._

_You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;  
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;  
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;  
You raise me up... to more than I can be._

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;  
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;  
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;  
You raise me up... to more than I can be.

_There is no life - no life without its hunger;  
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;  
But when you come and I am filled with wonder,  
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity._

_You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;  
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;  
And I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;  
You raise me up... to more than I can be.  
You raise me up... to more than I can be._

When Shepard finished, he was silent for a moment. "I can't get away from Him." He whispered softly.

"That sounded like a Christian song." Tali managed, "I think I heard Ash humming it a time or two."

Shepard shrugged. "It is, at least originally." He leaned over and kissed Tali's mask. "You do raise me up though. I think I realized that, and how much I loved you, when you sang to me."

"So that's it then." Tali murmured. Now she knew, what Shepard wanted from his girl. Someone to raise him up, to support him, to stand by his side. Someone who would walk with him through the storm.

"What's it?"

"Nothing, don't worry about it. You raise me up too though."

The intercom buzzed suddenly. "Ah, don't want to interrupt anything Commander, but we're about three hours out from Illium now. Just letting you know in case you were occupied or anything. Send pictures!"

Tali lifted her Omni tool above their heads and snapped a picture and fired it off to Joker.

"What? Aw man- I mean Joker out."

"Send me one too." Shepard said, standing and stretching.

"We're going to need to treasure times like these." Tali agreed, standing herself and getting the kinks out of her back.

Shepard gave her a goofy grin. "Well, does this count as a first date?"

Tali put her vocalizer to Shepard's cheek gently and whispered, "Yes, it does John."

_Unna'Karis: That's how it started? After taking so long, you just decided you were dating?_

_Tali'Zorah: At this point, we were both adults. I had just seen my father die. I knew then that time might be short, and I think Shepard did as well. The threat of the Collectors, of the Reapers, hung over our heads. We needed to cling to each other while we could. _

_Unna'Karis: *Giggles* Did you raise him up?_

_Tali'Zorah: It was a two way thing. We had many stormy seas ahead, and we would need to stand on mountain's together. _

_Unna'Karis: I was referring more to the sexual side. I'm still surprised you were a virgin. _

_Tali'Zorah: Sigh. After all these years, I still don't understand why everyone says that. _

Authors Note:

'Bout time.


	34. Chapter 30: Old Friends

Chapter 30: Old Friends

_Unna'Karis: I don't know much about Illium, other than that it was rendered uninhabitable after the Reaper War. _

_Tali'Zorah: That's a pity. It was a beautiful place, full of life. I remember it well, we had quite a few missions on that blue planet._

_Unna'Karis: I hear it had quiet the reputation as well, is that where-_

_Tali'Zorah: This interview is over right now if anyone makes anymore virgin jokes. _

_Unna: -you upgraded the Normandy._

As the Normandy sped into its final approach to Illium, Tali headed down to engineering for a final tune up. Now she knew what the phrase "walking on clouds" meant. Her feet barely seemed to touch the floor, and she had a feeling she was skipping just as much as Kelly did when she was happy. She smiled and waved to everyone she meant, even Miranda. Most of them smiled and waved back. Miranda grimaced and pulled Tali aside.

"I'm not listening to any lectures about fraternization Miracle Max." Tali told her breezily, "John and I are happy right now and that's what matters."

"Well then I'm happy for you too, but this isn't what that's about." Miranda hissed.

"Oh? What did I do wrong now then."

"Nothing." Miranda bit her lip, "I know we haven't really gotten along, but I have to ask a favor of you."

Normally, Tali would have laughed at Miranda, but she was in such a good mood she just nodded.

"It's my sister. She's been kidnapped." Miranda whispered, looking down at her feet. "My father has found her, and he's hired a group of mercenaries to take her back to Earth. They're Eclipse."

"Well, maybe he just wants to get your sister away from Cerberus. Your organization does have a certain reputation." Tali shot back.

"She has nothing to do with Cerberus!" Miranda declared, grabbing Tali's suit and drawing her closer, "You don't understand! My father doesn't care about my sister!"

That struck a still fresh wound for Tali. "How do you know that? My father could be distant but he still loved me."

"Because I'm a clone! And so is my sister!" Miranda answered, letting go of Tali and slumping back, "We're both genetically engineered. Highly illegal. That's how I have my biotics, my looks, why I'm so 'perfect.' My father only grew my sister when I refused to play his games anymore and ran off with Niket. That's why I joined Cerberus. To rescue my sister and ensure that she never had the life I did."

With that, Tali's entire perspective of Miranda changed. At first she had disliked and distrusted the woman because she was both Cerberus and a pretty woman by John's side. Later, she had disliked Miranda for still being Cerberus and being arrogant, snide, and ruthless. Now, she saw a woman who had given up everything to save her family. To protect a little sister, she had done whatever was necessary. Just like Tali had joined a Cerberus crew to be with John. Both women had joined Cerberus and defied their fathers.

The difference was, while Tali's father had been a bosh'tet at times, he really had loved her. She wasn't lab grown to please a man who had apparently wanted a perfect daughter, but none of the mess that went with one. One that he replaced as soon as Miranda had asserted her own independence. Maybe Miranda was lying, but she looked to desperate, to vulnerable to be lying to Tali.

"Why are you telling me?" Tali asked gently.

"Because John loves and trusts you more than anyone else aboard. If you ask him to help me, he'll do it. He doesn't trust me, doesn't even really use me as his XO. Everyone on this ship, including me, knows Garrus is the real XO. That's alright with me, they work well together and this mission is to important for petty personal politics." Miranda's voice took on a pleading tone again, "But this is my sister Tali. I'll do anything, ANYTHING, to help my sister."

A sudden light went on in Miranda's eyes. "I'll issue a statement declaring that Cerberus was wrong for attacking the migrant fleet. Use my pull to pay your people reparations. Get you ships, supplies, anything. Please Tali, just tell me what you want and I'll do it."

That took Tali aback. "The Illusive Man would kill you!"

Miranda just shrugged. "That's a price I'd be happy to pay a thousand times over to save Oriana."

"Keep your apologies." Tali answered, "They wouldn't mean anything unless they were sincere. And I don't need a bribe to save an innocent girl Miranda. I'll talk to John. Your sister will be fine."

Sagging back in relief, Miranda blinked back tears as her hand flashed across her omni-tool. "I've sent you everything I know. Thank you Tali, I'll be in your debt forever."

Tali got back on the elevator and back up to John's quarters, where John was kitting himself out for the mission.

"What's up Tali?" He asked as he secured his helmet. An old N7 model, Tali noticed, not the Cerberus assault armor he had been wearing.

"Miranda's sister has been kidnapped." Tali answered, then explained what Miranda had told her and the details of Orinana's location on Illium.

"Makes sense." John said when she finished, "From what my own research has turned up and what Miranda has told me, old man Lawson is a right son of a... gun. He's dirty in a dozen ways, and the way he treated Miranda and her sister was downright criminal. Even if they are illegal clones, they're here now and tank grown or not they're people. I'll tell Garrus to suit up with Grunt and assist Miranda. You, me and Jack have another target."

"Oh?" Tali asked, coming over and helping secure John's armor.

"We're going to see an old friend. Liara is on Illium. She's contacted me and wants our help on something."

"Liara, she's here!" Tali exclaimed. She had fallen out of contact with the asari doctor, but she still had fond memories of their time together.

"Yes. She's the one..." John swallowed, "Who recovered my body. Gave it to Cerberus. I owe her a great deal."

"As do I." Tali whispered, putting her hands on John's chest.

John took her hands and squeezed them. "Liara is a good friend. It'll be good to see her."

Illium was much like Tali remembered it from her pilgrimage, though admittedly this time she was in a luxury private docking bay with a well armed party that could probably conquer half the planet before anyone could stop them.

"Welcome to Illium!" An asari greeted them with a bow. "Mistress T'soni is expecting you. Please, follow me."

"Can we get a fish dog burger?" Grunt asked excitedly as they passed an advert. "I'm starving!"

"You just ate Grunt." Garrus reminded him. "Tell you what, if you beat my kill count when we rescue Oriana, I'll buy you a super meal."

"My sister is not a competition!" Miranda squeaked, "I know where she is, we should go there now!"

"Relax Miranda." John assured her, "Liara's office is on the way. She's an information broker, she might know something you missed."

Miranda reluctantly nodded. "Alright, that does sound wise."

"Well sh- damn girl." Jack drawled, "Sounds like your actually getting that stick out of your a- behind."

Jack suddenly scowled. "Fuck, this no cussin' thing is hard."

"Why by the ancestors have you decided to modify your vocabulary?" Tali asked.

Jack hunched over and stuck her hands in her pockets. "Sparkles said changing my behavior is the first step to changing my life. She suggested not swearing. It's fu- really hard."

"What's wrong with swearing?" Grunt asked in confusion. "I swear by the battle masters of old all the time. Or by a T-Wrex."

"Forget it Grunt. When you get older, I'll explain it to you." Garrus assured the krogan.

"What do you mean? I have the knowledge of Kredak, Moro and others. I am no child."

"Of course Grunt." John assured him. "Do you want to get some new coloring books and crayons while we are here? Maybe some new dinosaur vids?"

"Yes battlemaster! I need some more red crayons, and I really want to watch the vid called 'Jurassic Park' I was told it has lots of tyrannosaurs in it! What? Why are you all laughing?"

"No reason Grunt." Tali assured him, smothering her laughter.

It was hard to remember sometimes that as deadly and effective as Grunt was in combat, he was only a few months old. Sometimes he was startlingly clever in combat and had great insight when it came to tactics. His choice of pastimes that did not involve shooting or hitting things though more befitted a very young child. There were several crayon drawings that Grunt had drawn hung up in the Normandy mess, and the young krogan was incredibly proud of them. The crew dotted on Grunt and everyone treated him like a kid brother, abet one that could easily rip you limb from limb or heft a gun as massive as most human's legs one handed. Grunt had received more than a few picture books and coloring books as gifts from the crew, and he was as absorbed by them as most children would be, regardless of species. Granted they all involved violent beasts or battles, but Grunt was a krogan child after all.

"We are here." The asari said politely, a rather fixed smile on her face. Tali had a feeling she was glad to be parting with the company of the clearly insane squads John had with him. "Dr. T'soni will see you directly."

They stepped in, and Tali spotted Liara before a screen, talking to a salarian.

"Have you ever faced an asari commando squad before? There are few who have. You might wish to consider that before reneging on our bargain."

Tali heard a sharp intake of breath from John and Garrus.

"That's what her mother said before Liara shot her." John explained in with a whisper.

Liara cut the connection and turned, smiling, a bit of her old self shining through the new exterior. "Shepard, Garrus, Tali, I am so glad to see you all!"

She hurried forward and embraced her old shipmates before turning to the others.

"It is good to see you again Ms. Lawson."Liara said coolly.

"Likewise. I think it should be obvious we've upheld our end of the bargain." Miranda replied.

"Indeed." Liara pressed a data chit into Miranda's hands. "Information on where the Eclipse mercenaries are taking your sister, their numbers and strengths. I think it will aid your mission."

"I-..." Miranda stammered.

"You are welcome." Liara nodded, turning to Grunt. "So, the progeny of Okeer. You seem as impressive as Wrex made you out to be. Kill any more thresher maws lately?"

"Just one. Shepard hasn't found me another yet." Grunt rumbled.

"I see." Liara next turned to Jack. "Subject Zero I presume. Take this." Liara held out a data chit.

"What the fuck is that?" Jack demanded, glaring at the chit.

"The location of the facility you escaped from all those years ago." Liara answered.

Jack ripped it out of Liara's hands, staring at it wild eyed. "Are you fucking serious!"

"I am. And I quite enjoyed your poetry, Miss Naught. You might consider submitting it to the asari publication 'Darkly Dreams the Galaxy.' They are more accepting of your form of meter."

Jacks jaw dropped open and worked soundlessly, her eyes bugging out of her head.

"You've changed Liara." Tali said softly, "What happened to you?"

Liara gave Tali a tight grin. "You are not the only ones who seek to oppose the return of the reapers. I work in my own way, as an information broker."

Liara turned away from Tali for a moment, and she thought she saw a pang of regret in the asari's face. "Anyway, Garrus, you and Ms. Lawson and Grunt should hurry. You should be able to get into position to ambush the Eclipse mercs if you hurry."

"Got it. Thanks for the tip Liara. We'll catch up later." Garrus replied. "Let's go, lead the way Miranda."

The three jogged out of the room, Miranda turning to mouth a "Thank you" to Liara.

"Jack, why don't you take five out in the market." John suggested.

"Yeah, sure." Jack mumbled, stumbling out of the room, the data chit clutched tightly in her hands.

They waited for a moment, then Liara took John and Tali's hands in her own and squeezed them. "Let me say that I am so happy for the two of you. May you find what joy the galaxy has together."

"Thank you." John answered in a husky voice.

"Ancestor's watch over you as well." Tali murmured.

"Oh I hope they do." Liara answered, "But right now we have to watch out for ourselves. Shepard, I am still working on locating the Shadow Brokers base and agents."

"You're after the Shadow Broker?" Tali gasped.

"Indeed. He refuses to aid in the fight against the reapers." Liara answered, letting go of their hands and walking back to her desk. "In truth, he aids the collectors and other reaper factions indiscriminately. The Shadow Broker could be a serious threat to the galaxy if he joins the reapers side. Therefore, I intend to eliminate him and take his place as the top information dealer in the galaxy."

"Well if what you just did for us is any indicator Liara, you're well on your way already." John interjected.

"I am close, so close!" Liara slammed her desk in frustration. "I only need a little more time and data and I will HAVE that son of a varren!"

"Is there anything we can do to help?" Tali asked, stepping forward.

"Yes, there is. Keep doing what you are already doing." Liara replied. "In fact, while you are here on Illium I suggest you pursue the leads you already have. The assassin and the justicar. I suggest you pursue the assassin first."

"Can you tell me anything more about the assassin, Thane Krios?" John asked, "All I know is that he's a drell and highly skilled."

"I don't know much more, other than his next target." Liara tapped a holo pad on her desk, brining up a picture of a cruel looking asari.

"That's Nassana Dantius!" John exclaimed, "She's the asari that had us murder her sister!"

"I wasn't on that mission, what was she like?" Tali asked, studying the picture.

"Manipulative, cruel and cold." John answered.

"That describers her well." Liara agreed, "She's holed up in Dantius towers. Thane has her on his hit list for unknown reasons. Frankly, he is doing the galaxy a favor by taking out Nassanna. She's abusing the workers and under suspicion for half a dozen bloody murders."

"Any suggestions on how to approach this?" John inquired.

"Go in tonight, that's when Thane is most likely to strike. The tower is stuffed to the rafters with mechs and Eclipse mercs, so going in while Thane makes his move will split their forces and make life easier for the both of you." Liara replied.

"Wait, we want an assassin to succeed?" Tali demanded.

John shrugged, "Nassanna is scum, if she dies that's not a bad thing. This will give us a chance to see Thane act, plus a good shot at recruiting him. His skills could be invaluable when we finally take the fight to the collectors."

Reluctantly, Tali nodded her agreement. "What do we do until then?."

"Enjoy the sights." Liara answered with an impish smile. "I here they have an elcor rendition of-"

"No!" John and Tali chorused.

The three friends shared a chuckle before Liara continued. "Honestly, go have some fun. As I said, I have a lot of work to do before I'll be ready to take down the shadow broker. It's going to take several days at least, so enjoy yourselves for now. Talk to Serya in the cargo transfer levels when you're ready to go after Thane, I'll let her know your coming. It would be best to depart in around 6 hours."

"We'll be there." John assured Liara, "Thanks for the info. It's good to see you again."

"You as well Shepard." Liara nodded, then sat down and resumed typing at her desk.

Tali and John walked outside to the hustle and bustle of the markets. They found Jack slumped in a chair at an outdoor bar, a glass of wine at her side as she furiously typed away into a data pad.

"What are you working on Jack?" John asked.

The biotic jumped about three feet in the air and came down with a wild look in her eyes. "Nothing. Just stuff."

"I'm sure 'Darkly Dreams' will love your poetry." Tali told her soothingly

A look of relief came over Jack's face. "You think so? Really?" Jack caught herself and put on a fierce scowl. "I mean, what makes you think I'm still doing that sh- goddamnit- stuff."

John chuckled and shrugged. "Suit yourself. We've got a few hours before we head out on our next mission. Meet us at the cargo loading dock in a few hours. Tali and I are going to wander for a bit."

"Yeah ok." Jack mumbled, and went back to working on her omni-tool.

Tali and John meandered through the kiosks, buying a few upgrades for the crew and the Normandy. "With these supplies and the docking crew here, I think we could upgrade the Normandy's shielding." Tali suggested. "And even install that Thanix cannon Garrus has been talking about."

"Hmm, while we're at it, Jacob suggested we add Silaris heavy armor to the hull." John mused, "We've got enough credits from Cerberus and plenty of raw materials from all the scan's EDI has run. We're going to be here for a while anyway, Cerberus has an engineering crew here and could probably get a lot of this work done in the next few days."

"It's a good plan. From the spec's on the Collector's ship I've seen were going to need every edge we can get." Tali agreed.

"That's settled then. I'll place the order now and put a rush on it. It should be done by the end of the week."

After that, they wandered up to a bar called Eternity to relax for a while. They had just walked in the door when an excited, nasally voice called, "Commander Shepard! Is that you Commander Shepard?"

"Oh Christ." John groaned, closing his eyes and rubbing the bridge of his nose.

Tali glanced around and saw a human male in N7 armor enthusiastically making his way over to them, jumping and waving. "Commander Shepard it IS you!"

"Conrad." John answered, looking up with a strained smile on his face. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh Commander, it's so good to see you! I knew you weren't dead, there's no way the geth could kill you!"

"He was only mostly dead." Tali answered, slightly puzzled. "Who are you?"

"Well it's a good thing he wasn't all dead, then all you could do is go through his pockets for loose change!" Conrad joked, "I'm Conrad Verner, I'm a SPECTER like the Commander!"

"I didn't know humanity had more than one SPECTER now." Tali answered, "Why didn't you ever tell me that John?"

"Because we don't." John said through gritted teeth. "We don't even really have one now that I've been disbarred. What are you doing in that armor Conrad, and why are you here?"

"Wait, are you a SPECTER or not?" Tali asked in puzzlement.

Conrad looked down and shuffled his feet guiltily. "Well, I'm not really a SPECTER. The Council didn't recognize me or anything, but I did have a little Ceremony with my wife and friends. They were so excited to see me go, they even all pitched in to buy me this armor, it's a replica!"

Conrad spun to show off his armor, and upon close examination Tali could see that while it was an approximation of the same N7 armor John was wearing, it was made of far lower quality materials. Tali was fairly certain it wouldn't stop anything from a military grade mass accelerator, unlike the hardened materials of John's armor.

"Oh, I'm sure they were delighted you were leaving." John muttered, rolling his eyes.

"Hey, you a real N7 agent?" An asari demanded as she strode up. "This asshole's been accusing me of illegally dealing in red sand. Which for one, this establishment doesn't sell, and for two is perfectly legal on Illium. Please tell me you're here to arrest him."

"Miss, I have to warn you, this is my fellow SPECTER Commander John," Conrad gave a slight squeal of a pitch that would not have been amiss coming from Kelly and shuddered in ecstasy, "And he's here to back me up."

"Oh by the goddess's sweet blue behind, there's another yahoo like you?" The asari groaned. "Where's my shotgun."

"Ma'am, I am Commander Shepard, retired, former Council SPECTER. I cannot begin to apologize for the headache you must have right now. I will deal with this situation immediately. It won't happen again." John replied.

"Oh really?" The asari glanced at John's armor and weapons. "Hmph. That stuff looks real enough, and if you can get rid of this pain in the ass you can call yourself whatever you want." With that the asari strode back to the bar and began cleaning glasses, while glaring daggers at Conrad.

"Oh are we leaving John? Can I call you John? We could go back to your ship together! I have a copy of The Princess Bride, a real DVD version! When I found out it was your favorite vid I had to get it! I have the whole thing memorized, I watch it twice a week!" Conrad bubbled.

"He's like Kelly but with a fixation on you." Tali observed, trying to hold back the laughter bubbling up inside of her.

"Kelly I don't want to murder every time she opens her mouth." John muttered, then looked right into Conrad's eyes.

"First, no, you can't call me John. You can call me Mister Shepard. I'm not Commander Shepard, not any more. Second, you're taking that armor off and coming with me before I beat your ass silly for impersonating an officer and annoying the hell out of this entire bar and me personally while I'm on a date."

"Oh is this your girlfriend! That's so cool, can I get a picture? Maybe of the two of you kissing!" Conrad squealed.

"No Conrad!" John shouted, grabbing him by the shoulders. "What did I tell you the last time we talked!"

"Um, that you needed the people back home?" Conrad managed. "But I can help you this way, help you save the galaxy!"

John sighed. "Listen Conrad. The fact that someone hasn't killed your ass by now is possibly a sign that either God exists or the galaxy has a sick sense of humor. I don't know what you think you're doing, but helping you are not. Do you have any idea, any idea, of how many years of intense training I have to do what I do?"

"Um, well, there was the six months of boot camp, then there was the two year officer course and-" Conrad began, ticking off points on his fingers.

"Exactly. How many years do you have?" John demanded.

"Well, I watched all your vids and took a class to buy my guns." Conrad said, drawing his assault rifle.

"Put that down!" John shouted, smacking down the barrel as Conrad pointed it in Tali's direction.

"Conrad, as someone who knows, take it from me that watching a vid doesn't cut it. I had over a year of survival and combat training before I left on my pilgrimage and even that didn't begin to prepare me for what the galaxy has." Tali piped up, "I don't think a few vids and one course are going to turn you into a combat veteran."

"Oh, well, maybe if I-" Conrad began, but John cut him off.

"Conrad, if you want to be like me, you can do one of two things. Go join the Alliance and get the basics, then advance through the ranks over a number of years."

"I can't, I have heart palpitations. The medicine keeps it under control, but I would never be eligible for as an N7." Conrad whined, "But I figured I didn't need all that, I could just copy you and-"

Suddenly, John reached out and with blinding speed, grabbed Conrad's gun and put it in the shocked man's face.

"If you can take this from me, I'll believe you and give you my blessing to become a galactic vigilante." John growled.

To Conrad's credit, he did give it his very best try. Five of them in fact. The crowd noticed, and started cheering and hooting after John knocked Conrad on his ass the second time. Thinking they were cheering him on instead of mocking him, Conrad attacked with renewed vigor. John tripped him, tossed him, and smacked him with the butt of the rifle. It looked brutal, but Tali could tell John was pulling his punches and that no serious harm was taking place. Even the bar tender looked impressed with John's moves, finally putting down her glass and rag and leaning over to watch as John clapped Conrad on both sides of his head with cupped hands and removed the rest of the fanboy's weapons while he staggered.

"Alright, that's enough, any more and I might actually hurt you." John finally sighed.

"Oh man, I'm going to have to post this on my blog, everyone will be so jealous I actually got disarmed by Commander Shepard!" Conrad burbled, reaching for his guns.

"No Conrad, those are mine now." John barked, "You've proved you're not ready for that path."

"But isn't that one of the two? I already told you the Alliance won't take me!" Conrad whined.

"No, do you want to hear the other option to be like me?" John sighed.

"Oh yes!"

"Then do what you can to help others. Not running around with a gun harassing bartenders. Do something meaningful with the skills you have Conrad. Open an orphanage, feed the homeless, work in a refugee camp. Make the galaxy a better place. Because what you're doing now Conrad? All this will do is get you killed and make my life a bit more miserable." John stated.

"You mean you would be miserable if I died!" Conrad nearly fainted with excitement.

"Yeah, sure, let's go with that." Shepard shrugged. The crowd burst out laughing. Tali had to chuckle at that herself.

"Alright Commander, I'll do it." Conrad sighed. "I know a few people, maybe I can go open an orphanage here on Illium. I've seen a lot of kids that need help. I'll make the galaxy a better place."

"You do that Conrad. You do that." Shepard agreed, and watched as Conrad limped out of the bar.

The crowd broke into applause as soon as Verner had left. "SHEPARD! SHEPARD! SHEPARD!" They cheered.

John held up his hands for silence, and after a moment the patrons complied. "Listen people, I'm sorry about that whole disaster. To make up for it, everybody gets a round on me. And the bartender get's a shot of medi-gel for the migraine. On the condition that everyone leave me and Tali in peace."

Everyone hurried to assure Shepard that he and Tali would be left well alone, and hurried to the bar to get their drinks.

"That was kind of you." Tali told him, snuggling up to his arm, "I half expected you to blow him off or punch him for real."

"I was tempted."John admitted, "But you seem to bring out the best in me."

Tali smiled. "Well then, how about that drink?"

_Unna'Karis: I've never heard of Conrad Verner, what happened to him?_

_Tali'Zorah: Like so many others, he was lost in the war. But while he lived, thanks to John, he did make the galaxy a better place. I know that better than anyone._

Author's note:

You would not believe how hard it is to keep writing "John" instead of "Shepard." I made the change to show the relationship upgrade, but I have bad habits now.


	35. Chapter 31: Eye of the Storm

Chapter 31: Eye of the Storm

_Unna'Karis: So what was it like, being with the Commander?_

_Tali'Zorah: At first it was confusing, our first date was probably a disaster by anyone else's standards, but it was lovely at the time. A calm moment in the middle of chaos. _

Sometimes, Tali had to wonder if the galaxy had a sense of humor. The bar on Arcturus she and Joker had gone to had been named "Heaven." The bar Shepard and Garrus had talked about on Omega was named "Afterlife." She was fairly certain that on her bender with Shepard they had finished at a bar called "Purgatory," and now she was sitting in "Afterlife." It was probably just a franchise thing she decided.

"So, what were you saying about Liara miming her mother earlier John?" Tali asked while they waited for their drinks.

"When we cornered Benesia on Noveria, she made a little speech about how having Liara there wasn't going to change anything." John explained, "And how we were about to face an asari Commando squad, something few had done. Liara copied that almost word for word."

"That's rather disturbing. From what Liara told me, she thought of her mother as already dead on Noveria."

John shrugged. "I don't know. But shooting your mother can't be easy, especially not for someone as young and sheltered as Liara."

"She's older then both of us together you know." Tali chided, "And she seemed to be displaying more than a little of that asari mystique and wisdom back there."

"I'd forgotten that." John admitted, "It's had to image that asari can live for 1,000 years and at 100 they consider themselves children."

"She wasn't acting like a child back there at all. She seemed more like a driven, maybe even obsessive woman." Tali observed.

"True. She's changed, but then we all have. Look at you, when we first met you were a kid out to see the galaxy for the first time."

Tali giggled, "And you were the human hero with a cute butt who came to my rescue."

"You think I have a cute butt?"

"Well, there had to be a little physical chemistry, don't you think? We couldn't base it all on your heroics."

That made Shepard laugh. "Oh, I think there's physical chemistry to be sure, but honestly that would be a pretty poor basis for our relationship. I can't see your face, and mine surely doesn't even begin to resemble what a handsome quarian's would."

"That is true." Tali admitted, "We don't look at our own faces much, it brings to much sadness. But your face is to blocky and hairy to be considered beautiful by quarian standards. You do have a certain exotic charm about you though."

"The same goes for you I guess." Shepard admitted, "Back to the old Western human obsession with mysterious veiled Arab princesses. I suppose your a princess of your people, in a way."

Having watched the Princess Bride, Tali had a basic understanding of what a princess was and was flattered by the comparison. "That's sweet of you John." She cooed, leaning over and giving Shepard a peck with her vocalizer.

"Oh keelah girl you have no idea what you are getting into." A quarian voice broke into Tali's revelry "Humans are jerks. You should totally dump this loser before he starts using you."

Tali jerked back and looked over to see another female quarian standing by the booth, hands on her hips and her head cocked to one side.

"Do I know you?" Tali asked, trying to be polite.

John didn't quite manage the politeness part, half standing with a blank expression on his face. "You have five seconds to leave us alone before I do to you what I wanted to do to Conrad."

The quarian responded by lighting up her omni-tool. "Bring it ugly!"

Before John could draw his pistol and do something rash, Tali pushed her way between the two. "I am Tali'Zorah nar Rayya vas Normandy. This is my captain, John Shepard nar Arcturus vas Normandy. If I want relationship advice, I will talk to Admiral Shala'Raan vas Tonbay or Clan Chief Urdnot Wrex vas Tuchanka. Now leave us alone, or I will let the deadliest man in citadel space execute you so I can have some peace."

The quarian's omni-tool flickered out and she let out a low moan. "Oh keelah, your Tali'Zorah? Admiral Raal'Zorah's daughter? Tali 'Black Hand of the Admiralty' Zorah?"

"That would be me." Tali replied, though the name "Black Hand of the Admiralty" was new to her.

"Oh ancestors please don't take me in!" The girl pleaded, "I know I abandoned my pilgrimage, but I just can't go back to the fleet, I have a life here on Illium now!"

"I'm not here for you, and if you go and leave us alone now I promise I won't even mention I found you." Tali answered evenly.

"I wasn't even here!" The quarian squeaked, and took off running.

Tali and John sank back into their chairs and glanced at each other, then broke down laughing.

"Black Hand of the Admiralty?" John wheezed.

"Do what you wanted to do to Conrad?" Tali gasped.

The two spent a few minutes giggling and gasping for air before they finally calmed down.

"I thought you were going to shoot her." Tali admitted, "But I think I actually managed to make her pee her suit."

"I was about ready to at least wing her." John admitted, "I don't know what a man has to do for a little privacy on a date."

The idea of John shooting a civilian just because she was bothering them hurt Tali. But after talking to Kelly, she thought she knew the root cause. Tali reached over and took John's hands in her own. "You're still struggling with your religion. About dying and not finding a heaven."

For a moment, John tensed up and Tali thought he would blow it off or change the subject. Then he deflated slightly. "Yeah. I am. I guess if I don't talk about it with you I won't talk about it with anyone."

"I'm not religious myself." Tali admitted, "Ancestor worship used to be the major religion in quarian culture. But when the geth destroyed The Archieves of the Ancestors and their wisdom had led us down the path that destroyed us. After that, a lot of quarians lost faith in the Ancestors."

"What happened to your culture after that?" Shepard asked, though Tali thought he was probably skirting the issue at heart.

"Well, a few people dug out some really obscure old religions." Tali explained, "One popular one was that Rannoch was a goddess and we her children. It sort of made sense, what with us being unable to colonize other planets. My old captain, Admiral Han'Gerral was actually a believer in that. It's why he's so set on destroying the geth and taking back Rannoch still."

"Sounds like some of the terra firma party." Shepard snorted, "They almost make Earth and humanity sound sacred."

Trying to drag the conversation back to John's problem, Tali asked, "Well, didn't your religion believe that Jeebus was God's child as a human? Wouldn't that make humanity special?"

That prompted John to roll his eyes. "Only if you're one of those crazy One Image people, but lots of races have religions similar to Christianity that supports the Multiple Appearance Theology, which personally-"

John suddenly cut himself off and looked away from Tali, his eyes growing red and watery.

"Dammit Tali, now you've gone and done it." He whispered.

"Shhh, hey it's OK." Tali whispered, sliding out of her side of the table and coming over to be by Shepard. "I just want to know you're going to be alright. Whatever you believe is up to you John, I'll love you anyway. But I can tell this is hurting you. You never would have threatened to draw your gun on someone who annoyed you before, or openly mocked someone who was just trying to be like you. You've changed, and I don't think it's all for the better."

They sat there together for a few minutes, Tali just holding Shepard while silent tears leaked down his face. Finally, in a raw voice Shepard began to open up.

"When they first brought me back, I thought that maybe I was just in a coma for two years. That they had recovered my body near death and revitalized me. But that wasn't what happened. I didn't find out until after I met you on Freedom's Progress. That's why I joked that I had been 'Only Mostly Dead.' I thought that's all that had happened."

"But it wasn't. Miranda showed me the footage. Tali, they dragged a broken body out of a frozen world. I had literally been burned to a husk and shattered, the starting footage didn't even LOOK like me. The fact that there was any recoverable DNA at all was a miracle."

"I'm half cybernetics at this point. You see my scars glow sometimes, that's all the implants that are keeping me running. Hell, I'm still on a strict regime of medicines and supplements along with regular therapy to keep my body going."

"That isn't the part that bothers me though. What bothers me is I was dead. Literally dead, for almost two years. No brain activity, no blood, no nothing. Stone cold dead. And there was nothing. I remember nothing. I blacked out in space and woke up two years later in a Cerberus lab. No light, no heaven, no hell, no God. Nothing."

"That used to be everything to me. How I pulled myself together after Akuze. How I was a kind a decent man. It was how I defined myself, how I built and directed my entire life. And then I find out it was all a lie. All if it. There is nothing after we die! It's over, it's done, nothing there at all! How can I keep on living with the horrible things I've done, all the people I've sent into oblivion? How can I sleep with the ghosts of my squad mates whispering in my ears at night, knowing that there is no hereafter where they can be at peace?"

"When I found out I was dead, I sat in my room for an hour staring at my bible. Then I ripped it up and threw it in the trash, because that's what it is. Trash. A book full of lies that have no meaning, no purpose."

"That's not true." Tali interrupted.

John stopped and looked at her, a dumbstruck expression on his face. "I just told you Tali, there was nothing-"

"It helped make you into a kind and good man." Tali whispered, stroking John's cheek. "It made you into the man I fell in love with. When I met you I was infatuated with you for your kindness and your heroics. But I didn't truly fall for you until you forgave that scientist when we rescued Toombs. You were so kind, so loving, so wonderful. I knew then that I wanted to share my life with you, with someone who could love me so much. Someone I could love in return without ever having to think that I would be hurt or rejected."

John closed his eyes and leaned his head against Tali's visor. They sat like that for a while, until Tali grew uncomfortable with the silence.

"So, have you talked to your mother lately? What about your father?"

That made John lean back and scratch his chin in embarrassment. "No to both actually. I keep putting it off. How do you begin a conversation like that? 'Hey, it's your son, I know you were notified I died and got my flag and all, but guess what I'm back!'"

"John, as someone who just lost her final parent, it doesn't matter what you say. All that matters is that you are saying something."

John winced. "Yeah, I guess I'm not the only one with problems."

Tali shrugged. "Talking with Kelly really helped me. I'm still grieving I know, but I can't let it stop me from living life. Live your life John, and make sure your parents know you love them. If there was one more thing I wished I could say to my father and hear from him, it's 'I love you.'"

John nodded slowly. "There's a public comm terminal across the hall. Would you come with me to make a call to my mother?"

Tali nodded quickly. "Of course, I have her information if you need it, I commed her when I found out you were alive."

"I might need that actually." John laughed nervously, "It is awkward that you've talked to my mother more recently then I have."

"I called her when I found out about... After Liara and Kaiden..." Tali stopped, trying to find a good way to phrase telling Shepard she had called Hannah to commiserate with her that her son had died.

"I get it."

They stood and walked to the comm station, which had an opaque field to allow calls to be made privately.

"Call from Commander John Shepard, retired, to Captain Hannah Shepard." John instructed the VI, giving it the information Tali had sent to his omni-tool.

"Connecting." The VI said cheerily, and there was a few minutes of static as the connection sped through space.

"God damn you, if this is a prank so help me I will call down an orbital strike on your ass no matter where-" Hannah's irate voice began, but stopped as her image came into view.

"Sorry I forgot to call mom. I was Mostly Dead for a while there." Shepard said, managing a week grin.

Hannah's face came into focus, her face locked in a gape of astonishment. "Jonny? Jonny is that really you?" She whispered.

"Sorry I didn't get him to comm earlier Hannah, we we're stuck in the Fire Swamps." Tali put in.

"Tali?" Hannah's eyes darted to the quarian, and her features relaxed. "Oh Tali, you're with Jonny? Then it's true, you're really alive?"

"Yeah mom." John rasped, "I'm alive."

"Oh thank God." Hannah whispered, tears leaking down her face. "When they told me you died, I heard a still small voice in my heart saying 'Your son yet lives.' I thought it was all a lie, that I was making things up instead of hearing from God, but when Tali called, and now..."

An awakward silence followed, and Tali cleared her throat and said, "What about John's father? Do you know how to contact him?"

Hannah's eyes dropped. "He's dead. Got in a fight at a bar, medic's didn't get there in time to save him. Happened about six months ago. I hadn't even spoken to him since I told him you were dead."

"He's gone?" John asked, tear's dripping down his face agagin.

"Oh John." Tali cried, putting her arms around him and drawing him close.

There was a sudden squawk from the comm and Tali jerked away to see a stunned expression on Hannah's face.

"Oh, mom, this is my girlfriend, Tali'Zorah. I believe you two have met." John joked, drying his eyes with a hand and trying to sound cheery.

"I can see that." Hannah answered wryly. "And I have to say you have good taste. I liked Tali as soon as I met her, though I have to admit I didn't think the two of you would start dating."

"It took me a while to see what was right in front of me." John admitted, "But I think Tali was planning on it for months. The crew had a pool for our first kiss and everything."

"I was totally unaware of it." Tali quickly added, "And I completely disapproved of it."

Hannah laughed and shook her head. "Oh Tali, you are so sweet. I'm glad Jonny has someone there for him. Don't worry, I'm not a prude or xenophobic. And the two of you have my blessing, if that means anything."

"It means a lot mom." Shepard answered, "Be careful, I might start crying again."

"Thank you Hannah." Tali whispered. "I know my father would never have approved."

"Have you told him?" Hannah asked, then paused, "You said would, you don't mean that-"

"My father, Raal'Zorah, is dead." Tali whispered.

"He died a hero of the quarian people." Shepard said stoically.

Tali looked up at him and took his hand, squeezing it when she couldn't find any words to thank him with.

"I'm so sorry Tali." Hannah whispered. "Both of you losing your fathers so close together... At least you have each other."

Shepard nodded. "Right now, I think Tali's the only thing keeping me grounded."

"Do you have a priest? Are you attending mass? Do quarians do mass?" Hannah demanded, going into mother hen mode.

"We're still working things out. I want John to take me to a mass soon. I have to find out what the blood drinking is about."

Hannah rolled her eyes. "Oh John hasn't told you about the Eucharist? I don't expect you convert her right away Jonny but I would think you would at least teach her the basics."

Suddenly, Shepard's communicator beeped. "Shepard, this is Garrus. Mission is a success. Miranda is with her sister now. What do you want us to do?"

"Sorry mom, duty calls, we'll talk later." Shepard quickly stated.

"I understand. Thank you for calling. I love you John." Hannah said, then cut the connection.

"Roger that Garrus, head back to the Normandy then take some shore leave. You've earned it. Team two is moving out to find the assassin shortly."

"Gotcha. I heard you're upgrading the Normandy's cannons?"

"That we are, I put the yard order in myself."

"Well, that sounds like my area of expertise. I'll head back to the ship and make sure everything gets properly calibrated as it's installed. Garrus out."

John turned to Tali and put his arm around her shoulders. "I know you care Tali, and I appreciate you being here for me. But I'm just not ready to talk about this yet."

"Alright John." Tali agreed, "As long as you know you can always talk to me."

"Thank you."

_Unna'Karis: The Shepard struggled with faith? But he-_

_Tali'Zorah: You know the official story. Let me continue. I think you will find Shepard's journey was not as smooth as it is made out to be in the vids. _

Author's Note:

I am trying to decide if Tali is ever going to stop saying Jeebus. I think that might be right after I think it isn't cute/funny anymore. Which in all likelihood, is going to be never.


	36. Chapter 32: Prayers for the Lost

Chapter 32: Prayers for the Lost

_Unna'Karis: So, this is where you meant Saint Krios? _

_Tali'Zorah: Yes it is, though at the time he not only wasn't beautified by a dozen religions, I half thought he was some sort of blood thirsty contract killer._

_Unna'karis: You thought Saint Krios, the Angel of Death, was a blood thirsty contract killer?_

_Tali'Zorah: As I said, I had never met him, and I had no image of what he would be like. The reality as usual, was far different from my preconceptions.  
_

After their "date" Tali and John parted to attend to their duties. John and Garrus worked on getting the Cerberus crews started on the Thranx cannon, while Tali went down to engineering to show Ken and Gabby how to install the cyclonic barrier shields. Once she was certain they would be able to supervise the initial installation of the new tech, Tali took a quick power nap and ate a bar of nutrient paste.

At the appointed time, she met up with John and Jack at the cargo transfer station.

"Were looking for Serya." John told the secretary.

The secretary turned a light shade of blue and reached into her desk. "Goddess, you're from Nassanna!"

"Woah slow down there! We're not from Nassanna." John assured her.

"Really?" The secretary asked, her small pistol visible in her lap.

"Really sweet cheeks. And if we were, a piss poor excuse for a pistol like that ain't gonna do sh- anything against Commander Shepard." Jack sneered.

"Oh! You should have said so." The secretary sighed, visibly relaxing. "Liara called ahead and told me you would be here. Go right on in, Serya is just inside."

A tired looking asari met them at the threshold. "Hey Delia, now might be a good time to go home early."

"You got it." The secretary said, taking her pistol and hurrying off.

"Glad you got here before Nassanna's goons. I'm Serya." The asari told them, offering her hand to John.

"You have information on Thane Krios?" John asked.

Serya shrugged. "If you mean the scary as hell drell, then yes. All I really know is what I told Liara. He's going after Nassanna in her little hidey hole tonight."

"Can you take us there?" Tali asked.

Serya nodded. "You three like you could take over half the planet, let alone take out the mercs Nassanna's got guarding her place. If you can ensure she isn't looking to put a singularity up my ass anymore I'll be glad to help. Plus Liara already paid for my services."

"Let's go then." John ordered, and the squad followed Serya over to a air car.

"Is Nassanna as bad as people are making her out to be?" Tali asked as they settled in, "I know she tricked Shepard into hunting down her sister, but she was a ruthless pirate and slaver."

"Honey, if the other Dantius was only a murderer and slaver, she was a much better person then Nassanna is." Serya assured Tali. "Nassanna has murdered her way up the corporate ladder, and she's bribed, blackmailed and assassinated anyone who even came close to threatening her. Just for telling a drell where she was, she threatened to have a hit squad visit me and my sister."

"I guess she really does deserve to be assassinated then." Tali admitted.

"Any ideas as to who could have sent the assassin?" John asked.

Serya snorted. "Do you want me to get you a comm listing for Illium? If I had known the drell was going after the blue bitch, I would have tipped him."

"Point taken."

The ride didn't take long, and Serya parked the car in front of a massive, half finished sky scrapper. "This is as far as I go! Good luck!" She shouted as the squad disembarked.

"Thanks." John waved her off, and the squad quickly moved into cover.

Almost before they had reached a pile of building materials, automatic fire erupted and tracer rounds went over their heads. John peaked around the side of the heap and swore.

"Son of a bitch!" He fired a few snap shots and charged. "The mercs are shooting civilians!"

Hurrying around, Tali saw Eclipse mercs and mechs gunning down fleeing salarians in construction uniforms. She activated her drone and began hacking the mechs, ordering them to turn their fire onto their own masters. Combined with Jack's biotics and John's own deadly fire they quickly reduced the ranks of the mercenaries.

"Shit, he's got reinforcements, fall back, fall back!" Ordered the eclipse captain, and the surviving members of his squad scrambled back into the relative cover of the building.

"Get down!" John ordered, drawing his missile launcher and sending a deadly rocket into the mercenaries hiding place. The remaining glass in the building blew out in a roar of flames that consumed the hiding mercenaries.

"Get those workers some medical attention." John ordered as he raced forward to secure the building's entrance.

"Are you alright?" Tali asked as she approached a salarian who was clutching his chest as he lay on the ground panting.

"I'm fine, see to the others." He assured her, waving her away.

Turning to a salarian clutching a ruined shoulder joint, Tali administered medi-gel and scanned for other injuries.

"What happened?" She asked as she worked.

"Nassanna, she went crazy, screaming that an assassin was after her. She told everyone to get out, but when we didn't move fast enough she had her men start shooting anyone who wasn't one of her team." The salarian groaned.

"You have to stop her, some of my cousins are still trapped in the building!" The first salarian wheezed, crawling over to Tali.

"Dont' worry, Nassanna isn't going to survive the night." Tali assured him. She realized after she said it she wasn't talking about the assassin. After seeing the senseless slaughter Nassanna had ordered, Tali was ready to kill the asari herself.

"Good." Moaned the injured worker, who lay back and closed his eyes as the medi-gel went to work.

"Let's move, Jack." Tali ordered, standing up.

"I've got your back." Jack assured her as she finished binding the wounds of another worker.

They hurried up to John who was watching the elevator. "They've got some sort of trigger beam across the room there."

"So as soon as we cross it the elevator opens and they shoot us?" Jack asked.

"Sounds like an easy fix." Tali assured him, activating her drone and loading it down with explosives."I'll have Chikita break the beam, when the door opens she'll explode and take out the mercs."

"Sounds like a plan." John replied, resting his assault rifle on a crate and lining up his shot.

Chikita did her part flawlessly, and the merc's opened the elevator door to the roar of explosions and full auto fire. None of them made it out alive, and Jack used a singularity to clear the bodies out so they could board.

"Going up." Tali stated after a quick hack removed the security locks on the elevator.

"Jack, put up a barrier for us. They're probably waiting." John ordered.

"You got it boss man." As the doors dinged opened, Jack thrust her hands out and a thick blue biotic barrier appeared between them and the hallway.

All that was waiting for them were two Eclipse mercs slumped up against the wall, each with a neatly slit throat and a growing pool of blood at their feet.

"Looks like Thane got here first." Tali observed.

"And like he's helping us." John mused, "He obviously didn't have to take these guys out if he didn't come up the way we did."

"More power to him, makes my job easier." Jack said with a shrug.

They moved out, creeping down the hallway to where a frantic Eclipse merc was talking into his comm.

"Look, he came out of now here, got Derek and Olgus before they even knew he was here. I didn't even have time to draw my fucking weapon!" He shouted, turning just in time to stare down the barrel of John's Lancer.

"Sounds like a habit of yours." He observed, then pulled the trigger and splattered the merc's brains across the wall.

"Was that necessary?" Tali asked.

John shrugged. "He made his choice. Come on."

The element of surprise lost, they charged down the hallway, stopping when John held up a closed fist.

"You hear that?" He asked.

There was a tapping sound from a nearby door and hushed voices, and Tali nodded.

Stepping forward, John put his hand out for the handle and drew his carnefex, holding up three fingers, which he slowly dropped as Tali and Jack took up positions to the left and right.

Jerking the door open John poked his hand cannon into the clearly terrified face of a salarian holding a shaking pistol of his own.

"Stay back! I'll use this, I swear by the dalatress I will!" He babbled.

"Woah, hold on Theron, I think these are the good guys." Another salarian piped up.

"Stay back human!" The first salarian shrieked, the gun now rattling so hard he wasn't likely to hit anything other than his own feet.

"I'm Commander Shepard, what's going on here?" John demanded.

"We were saved, by the drell." The second salarian explained, "One of the mercs broke in and shot Del, but before he could finish the rest of us a drell appeared out of nowhere and snapped his neck." The salarian gestured to a dead merc and worker in the corner. "The drell gave us the mercs gun after muttering something about 'Huntress guide his soul' and then took off. He told us to 'wait for the Shepard of the Lost.' That's you right?"

"But how do we know he's working with the drell?" The first salarian pleaded, finally lowering his pistol slightly.

"That was Thane Krios. We're here looking for him." Tali explained. "The way back is clear, get out of here."

"Thank you lady quarian!" The second salarian bowed, then grabbed his still shuddering friend by the elbow. "Come on, let's get out of here."

"That was well done Tali." John assured her after the salarians had headed for the elevator. "Come on, it can't be much farther."

The hallway ended in an open area where the eclipse mercs had set up and ambush with at Atlas mech. They were dug in and had several clear field of fire, but they hadn't counted on just how deadly their opponents were.

Tali opened up by hacking the Atlas's IFF programs, and it immediately went wild, spraying machine gun fire and rockets into the backs of the center of the Eclipse formation. Jack charged straight through their barriers with a biotic leap and scattered their left flank, while John's missile launcher devastated the right. The few survivors of the initial assault were unable to put up any effective resistance, and were quickly gunned down by John's squad.

"I thought Eclipse was supposed to specialize in advanced tactics and technology." Jack said with a snort as she hurled the twitching Atlas off the building with biotic fueled strength.

"They are."John answered as he slapped in a fresh thermal clip. "It's just that we're the best in the galaxy. Even Eclipse mercs don't have the technical chops to prepare for us."

"I knew I loved you for your humility." Tali joked.

John bowed. "As you say, Black Hand."

"Black Hand?" Jack asked.

"Apparently my nickname on the fleet." Tali explained.

"Huh. Always figured it would be 'Wonder Virgin' or 'Princess-'"

"Jack." John quietly said, but was so layered with venom that Jack clacked her mouth shut so fast Tali wondered if she had chipped a tooth.

"Right. Not in front of the boyfriend." Jack muttered as they moved off again.

"He's a little high strung right now." Tali whispered to Jack, "I don't mind the ribbing too much."

"No fucking shit." Jack muttered.

"He's also tapped into your comm beads." John whispered in their ears, and the two women laughed.

They made their way to an unfinished section of the building, and as they made their way onto the girders the door behind them slammed shut.

"Wow, a trap." Jack drawled. "Ten creds says they have a barricade on the other side and some sort of gunship waiting to circle around the side of that building."

"No bet. Jack, take the barricade." John ordered, "Tali, when the gunship shows up hack the shields and I'll drop it with a missile."

The mercs were surely patting themselves on the back for their own cleverness, right up until Jack literally flew across the gap separating the mercs barricade from the bare girders, launching biotic spheres of destruction as she descended.

"Get the gun ship in here!" The sergeant screamed as Jack ripped the captain's arms off and proceeded to beat his subordinates to death with them.

The Eclipse gunship roared around the building, but just as it came in range it's shields suddenly failed, and a rocket to its port engines sent it careening down six stories.

The mercs managed to get away from Jack, only to have the door in front of them slam shut and seal itself. They mounted a desperate defense, but now John's squad had the cover. When the last merc was cut down, Tali opened the door and hacked the final elevator control panel.

"Nassanna has to be in the executive suit." Tali said.

"Then that's where Thane is." John agreed.

When the elevator doors opened, they found Nassanna and two guards hiding behind a propped up desk.

"Goddess damn you Shepard!" Nassanna howled, blindly firing a pistol in the general direction of the elevator "If it wasn't for you I could have held off that damned assassin."

As she spoke, a silent shape dropped to the floor behind her. It slide across the floor behind the first merc, snapping his neck without a sound. The next merc met his end when a blade appeared through his chest, and he dropped with a gurgle. Nassanna had time to whirl as she was neatly disarmed; her head cradled by the drell as he flowed past the slumping corpse of her bodyguard.

"O Huntress, guide this lost one to your endless domain that they may find peace." The drell whispered as he swiftly snapped Nassanna's neck.

He stood, bowing his head and pressing the palms of his hands together as he let Nassanna's lifeless form drop.

"O Shepard, give the sinful your peace as you guide them in fields of plenty. May your gentle hands caress in the darkness of this night."

"Well I don't know about gentle hands, but I've given a few sinful people peace tonight." John growled, folding his arms as a dark expression came over his face.

The drell did not look up. "I was not referring to you."

"I think Nassanna might need more than one prayer fish lips." Jack snarked.

"I was not referring to the asari either, I have already said my prayers for her. I pray for all of my targets before I move." The drell answered. "Please, give me a moment."

"The who are you praying for?" Tali asked before she could stop herself.

"Myself." The drell stated without looking.

John's face lightened, a shocked expression coming over his face. "We'll wait."

"Thank you." The drell stood for a few moments longer, silently swaying.

When he looked up, he blinked twice and nodded. "You are Commander Shepard."

"I am. This is Jack, and Tali'Zorah." John answered, gesturing to his companions.

"They are known to me. As I am to you." Thane answered nodding. "I accept your offer. The Seeder spoke to me before I set out that I would find a new growth to guide my path. "

"But we haven't even told you why you are here!" Tali exclaimed.

Thane shrugged. "Your reasons are of no consequence. If the Seeder wills me to join you, join you I shall. The Mother of All will gather me into her arms in her own good time."

"We're going after the Collectors. They're working for the Reapers. The mission is pure suicide. You still want in?"John asked.

"If the mission is suicide, then it will be most equitable to my needs." Thane answered, his nictating membrane flickering over his eyes. "If you are fighting the Collectors, then the Seeder has sown well for me. Your cause is just."

"Wait, not even I was in just like that." Jack interjected, "I'm only in this so I can get revenge on Cerberus. You got a death wish or something?"

"Yes." Thane replied with a node. "I am already terminally ill, and I wish to die in service to my debt." He turned his black gaze to John. "Do not fear. My infirmity is not catching, as an evaluation by your physician should prove. Nor will it impact my performance for another year. I assume you will lead me to the Shepard's embrace long before then."

"You weren't talking about me when you spoke to those salarians." John observed.

"I was. The Seeder said he had planted a harvest for me, and that I would be lead by the Shepard of the Lost. That one who was lost would lead me to my rich reward, and that I would let him grow upon his path in turn."

John stumbled back as if struck by a physical blow, his face paling.

"Well, let's get back to the ship then." Tali quickly said, "We've got to find that asari justicar tomorrow."

"A wise plan." Thane nodded in agreement.

"And I thought Shepard was weird about religion." Jack muttered, "All this loony is missing is a rosary."

As they walked to the elevator, Thane drew out a chain of multi-colored beads and began to run his fingers over then, silently mouthing prayers. Jack slapped her hand onto her forehead and groaned. Tali watched as Thane's fingers quickly worked their way around the chain, and started again. She glanced at John, who was staring off into nothing with a fixed neutral expression on his face, though a twitching near his left eye told Tali he was under a great deal of stress.

"Oh Ancestor's, please don't let him break again." Tali whispered, "I don't know how to pick him back up."

_Unna'Karis: That sounds more like Saint Krios of legend. _

_Tali'Zorah: Be careful, he did not live up to the legends that surround him. The truth was that he was just as deeply troubled of a man as John. He was a good man, but he was not the flawless legend that has been passed down to you. _

_Unna'Karis: I am starting to think that every person aboard the Normandy was not who history remembers. _

_Tali'Zorah: Then you are finally beginning to hear what I am telling you. _

**Authors Note:**

Right. So, a few things. First off, I've started my student teaching (YAY!) so the demands on my time will be more then what they were during December when I posted a ton of chapters. However, I think I will still be updating far more regularly then I was last semester, so I will still **promise at minimum one chapter every week** (to be posted whenever it's done).

Second, **if you have a problem with religion, now is going to be a good time to stop reading**. Thane is the most spiritual person by far in the ME Canon, and he's going to be very important to the plot from here on out specifically because of that. If I haven't made it painfully obvious by now, this fic is not going to descend into religious bashing of any form, nor is it going to state that any religion is superior. I am going to explore the religions of many species, especially in ME3 as it relates to Tali.

I've tried to allude to this before, but I am going to come out and say it now: **The final chapter of Tali's journey is going to be about the struggle between the dark gods that are the reapers, and the faith of those who oppose them, especially Tali and Shepard**. One big thing I am going to play around with is indoctrination, which never has an explanation in the games for exactly how it actually works. My line is that it is "spiritual" in nature, and the reapers have more or less religious motivations for their "conversion" process. Tali and Shepard's struggle with faith is going to be what ultimately decides the fate of the galaxy, which leads me to my last point...

**I have** **written an ending for this fic. It is NOT cannon**. It incorporates some fan theories with the possible cannon endings, but it will not be something that can actually take place in the games and it is uniquely my own. Why? Because the endings in the games not only don't fit my vision for this fic, the cannon endings were ! #$ing stupid. I hate the endings. I hate the clip show. I hate the magical space lasers. I REALLY hate the "WTF is this" jungle planet that makes no sense. Some of the elements of the ending will still be present, and I will not say if Shepard lives or dies on the citadel because I haven't made my mind up about that yet**. This fic will however, continue for a good while AFTER the crucible,** and will include how Tali has her children, the rebuilding of Rannoch and the galaxy, and several conflicts that come about as part of the fallout from the Reaper War.

And before you ask, yes, I will finish this. It's looking longer and longer every time I update my outline, but it's going to be a fun ride for me and I hope you come along. Whew, that was lengthy! As always, thanks for reading and reviewing.


	37. Chapter 33: Saint

Chapter 33: Saint

_Unna'Karis: Saint Krios at least seems to be just as spiritual as the histories depict him._

_Tali'Zorah: That fact that at least was gotten straight. What is not remember is just how much friction that caused when he first joined the Normandy's crew. _

The journey back to the Normandy was one of awkward silence. John radioed for the shuttle to come pick them up, but when Jacob Taylor saw the rather fixed expression on Shepard's face, Thane's prayer beads, and Jack's struggle to keep a straight face while Tali wrung her hands in consternation, he wisely decided to lay off of any wisecracks. When they boarded Tali put her hand in John's, but all she received in turn was a strained smile and a quick squeeze. Thankfully, it didn't take long for them to arrive back at the Normandy dock.

"I'll be in my quarters. Wake me if there's an emergency." John stated stiffly when they landed.

"See you in the morning. Sleep well." Tali told him, giving him a quick hug.

John returned it, a bit more warmly then Tali had feared he would. "You too."

"Welcome aboard, Thane Krios." Garrus greeted the drell at the airlock.

"A pleasure. I have heard of your work, Archangel. You did the work of the gods on Omega." Thane said with a bow.

"Oh?" Garrus's mandibles twitched in irritation. "What do gods have to do with what I did on Omega?"

"I mean no offense. Only that you brought aid to the downtrodden and fought for justice." Thane answered, making a soothing gesture.

"Hmph." Garrus grunted, "Glad somebody thinks I did some good. Come on, I'll show you to your quarters."

"I'll do that Garrus." Tali piped up, "From what I know of drell he'll be most comfortable in a dry area, and as the chief engineer I know the most ideal location."

"I am grateful for your thoughtfulness." Thane answered, his nictitating membranes flickering across his dark eyes, "A dry place would be most comfortable for me."

"Works for me." Garrus agreed, "Show captain spiritual to his quarters."

Tali led Thane to the life support center, which compared to the rest of the ship was relatively warmer and dryer then the rest.

"You should be most comfortable here." Tali told Thane, "If there's anything else you need just ask. EDI should hear you no matter where you are."

"I do have monitoring systems in each section of the ship, including this one." EDI chimed helpfully.

"Ah, an AI. Most useful for our current venture." Thane mused.

Tali blinked. Most people's initial reaction to an AI would be much more severe then Thane's, and far less positive.

"Before you go, I sense you wish to speak with me." Thane suddenly stated, before Tali could even muster the courage to begin.

"Um, yes, I do." Tali mumbled, beginning to dry wash her hands and pace nervously again.

"I assume this is about my religious practices making the Commander uncomfortable."

"Kind of." Tali admitted, "Though actually, I was sort of hoping you could help me out a bit."

"I am at your service." Thane answered, spreading his hands.

"Thanks. I just wanted to ask about your religion, and maybe if you know anything about human religions."

Thane's membrane flicked across his eyes several times, and Tali's vision suddenly pulsed with colors.

"The human priest speaks. 'We are not so different. All made in the image of God'. I am confused, we look nothing alike. He hands me a loaf of bread. I have not eaten in days and consume it immediately. 'Give your troubles to God.' He tells me as he hands me a bottle of water. It is the first kindness any have shown me in days."

Slowly, Tali's vision cleared and she found an embarrassed looking Thane propping her upright.

"I apologize. Drell have an eidetic memory, shared biotically. Your comments seem to have triggered mine."

"What, what was that about?" Tali asked, steadying herself.

"A memory from an assassination. I staked myself out on Thessia, waiting to kill an asari diplomat that aided a batarian slaver ring in return for bribes. I took on a disguise of a transient, and staked out her home for several days."

"But you mentioned a human priest, what was he doing there?"

A smile played on Thane's lips. "Looking for lost souls. He found one. Myself."

"Was he a Christian priest?" Tali ventured, "I'm still not to clear on human religions."

Thane nodded. "Indeed he was. A Jesuit, to be precise."

Tali frowned. "Wait, why was he on Thessia looking for lost souls? There can't be that many humans on Thessia to minister too."

Thane shook his head. "He was not looking for human lost souls, though I imagine he would not have turned them away. His ministry was to the asari, and to one drell he found huddled in an alleyway that had a good line of sight to his targets building."

"He was with asari? But I thought Christianity was a human religion." Tali asked again, now completely confused.

"Let me start again. Father O'Flaherty was sent by his church to spread the human religion of Christianity to the asari. Part of his ministry was the daily giving of alms to the homeless and destitute, no matter their species. He found me on his daily walk, and gave me bread and water along with a few prayers. It was he who sparked my own renewal of faith. I do not prescribe to the human religion, I follow the ancient faith of the drell; Anu'el'eshi, One In Many."

"A human led you to the drell religion?"

"No, he merely stroked the coals that had lain dormant since the death of my wife." Thane explained, "I blamed the gods for not watching over her."

"That sounds like Shepard." Tali muttered.

"In what way?" Thane inquired, "I could not help but notice his reaction to my displays of religious devotion."

"Shepard used to be like you are." Tali explained, "He used to pray to Jeebus all the time, used to share his religion freely and not care if anyone noticed that he professed a faith in a higher power. But all that changed after he died. He was brought back from death by Cerberus, but he saw no afterlife. That really damaged him somehow, changed who he is."

Tali swallowed and forced herself to continue. "Before he was kind, loving, warm, just a wonderful man to be around. I fell in love with him, but now I am not so sure what he is. I'm starting to have a few doubts. He's violent, moody, and ruthless at times as well as cold and distant. I still care about him, but he's changed so much. I worry about him."

Thane nodded slowly. "That does sound similar to the experience I had."

Colors suddenly swirled again, and Tali heard Thane's voice saying, "Standing in the rain. Kolyat is gone, away with aunts and uncles. My breath steams in the air. I know it is killing me, and do not care. My wife is dead, and I will my body to sleep again. I curse the gods, for I no longer care if my soul lives or dies."

This time, Tali was slightly more prepared. "Yes, that sounds exactly like Shepard." She gasped.

"Then he is in pain." Thane observed, "His soul and body are not Whole."

"I've heard of a soul. The quarian believe that it's the soul that continues after death, that it is the soul of the ancestors that guides us and gives us wisdom in time of need."

"The drell have a similar belief. From what little I know of human religions, they believe the same thing."

That concept struck Tali for some reason. "That's strange isn't it, that three different species have such similar views on souls. We even have pretty similar terms for it."

"That is because the gods speak to us all, each in our own way." Thane explained, "For quarians, it may be through ancestors. For humans, by the Jesus you spoke of. For drell, through the One in Many."

"What do you mean, one in many?"

"There are many gods, there is one God. Sometimes God expresses itself as the god Amonkira, Lord of Hunters. At other times God is Kalahira Who Guilds Us Home. Each is One, each is different and distinct."

"That makes no sense at all!" Tali cried, "How can you say that many gods are one god? Either it's one or it is many, it cannot be both."

"Is a geth one, or is it many? There is but one platform, on consciousness. But there are many programs, many individuals in one geth."

That gave Tali pause. "Well its, a geth is... I don't know."

"I am not saying the geth are gods, or even that they have a soul. That is a question for priests. But it is an analogy you would understand."

"You're very different then I thought you would be." Tali observed, "I thought you would be some sort of blood thirsty maniac that killed for profit or pleasure."

"I have killed for profit, never for pleasure." Thane assured her, "And I never killed those that did not deserve death. I have always looked to the gods or the hannar for guidance upon those I kill."

Thane paused, then admitted, "Well, there was one case where I killed for myself. It might even have brought me pleasure. That time is why I still atone daily."

"I still have to ask you though, what can I do for Shepard? How can I help him heal the wounds left by his leaving his religion?"

"You cannot. Only the gods can."

Tali threw up her arms in disgust. "But I don't BELIEVE in the gods! Shepard doesn't even believe in the gods now! I don't care if he starts believing in Jeebus again or not, I just want the man I love to be back to normal!"

"For that to happen, he must heal. He must be Whole again. Only the gods can make you Whole. If you would like, I will pray with you." Thane offered.

That took Tali aback. The only real experience she had with prayer was the one time Shepard had sprung it on her from the blue, and that had been incredibly awkward. Sure, she had prayed to the ancestors in ceremonies, but she didn't actually believe they could hear her prayers. Well, not really. It's just what you did if you were a quarian.

"I guess so." Tali awkwardly replied.

Thane bowed his head and pressed the palms of his hands together. Tali copied the stance.

"Kalahira, mistress of inscrutable depths, I ask forgiveness.  
Kalahira, whose waves wear down stone and sand-  
Kalahira, wash the sins from this one,  
and set him on the distant shore of the infinite spirit.  
Kalahira, this one's heart is pure,  
but beset by wickedness and contention.  
Guide this one to where the traveler never tires,  
the lover never leaves, the hungry never starve.  
Guide this one, Kalahira,  
and he will be a companion to you.

Kalahira, this one's heart is pure,  
but beset by wickedness and contention.  
Guide him to where all hunters return,  
where all storms become still, where all stars show the path.  
Guide him, Kalahira,  
and he will be a companion to you "

Tali raised her head to find Thane looking over her head at nothing. "Now I know why I was told to find the Shepard of the Lost. You too are lost Tali, as Shepard is. I will pray for you daily, that you will both find your way."

"Thanks." Tali managed, not sure what to say. "I'll leave you be now. You must be tired."

Thane bowed. "Forgive me. I have taken too much of your time. Seeder grow a path for you."

Tali walked out of the life support room with a funny feeling. She should have felt awkward and slightly disconcerted that someone would pray over her, being the scientifically minded atheist that most quarians were in practice, but for some reason she felt lighter, as if someone else had taken her burdens. It was a strange sensation, one she didn't recall feeling before. She wasn't ready for a rest cycle, and needed someone else to talk to who wasn't as overtly religious as Thane.

Naturally, Tali sought out the only other person on the ship aside from Shepard she felt she could always talk to.

"Kelly, you're not busy are you?" Tali asked as she nervously stepped out from the elevator onto the main deck.

"Of course not. Come on, let's go for a walk." Kelly said cheerily, motioning Tali to follower her out the air lock.

They had to go quite a ways from the Normandy, outside crews were working away and it was quite loud. Inside all the noise dampeners made the cacophony almost imperceptible, and the change was quite jarring.

"Alright, what's eating Shepard." Kelly asked when they could hear themselves think again, "But more importantly, what happened to you? You're walking like someone lifted a weight off your shoulders, and I didn't even realize one was there before."

"Thane Krios, in answer to both your questions." Tali replied.

"I don't know much about him, but I do find drell rather fascinating. He certainly seems different then the assassin I had picture in my mind."

"Do you remember how I told you Shepard used to be very religious?" Tali asked.

Kelly nodded and Tali continued, "Well, Thane is just as religious as Shepard was, probably more so. Shepard reacted badly to Thane's overt spirituality, that's why he's acting like he's got a turian sized stick up his behind."

Kelly made a choking sound and covered her mouth, eyes sparkling.

"What?" Tali demanded, "Humans are not the only ones who tell turian jokes. Anyway, Thane is also why I suddenly feel so light. He prayed for me and Shepard. It wasn't like I thought it would be. He was so sincere, so honest, so caring. He reminds me of how John used to be before he died."

"Hmmm." Kelly mused, tapping her chin. "That is interesting. I don't know how Shepard is ultimately going to respond to this."

"I know how I want him to respond." Muttered Tali.

"Anxious to lose that virginity?" Kelly teased, giving Tali a huge wink.

"No!" Tali squeaked, "That isn't what I meant! I meant I want John back to the way he used to be. When he was loving and forgiving, when he wouldn't execute someone in cold blood just because they were in the way. When he wasn't so cold and distant."

"Ah." Kelly slowly nodded. "You mean you want him to go back to the way he was before he was like your father."

Kelly's remark felt like a mass accelerator round that burned right through Tali's heart. "I didn't mean- That's not what I..." She sank into a nearby bench, holding her head in her hands.

"Hey, it's OK." Kelly comforted her, sitting down next to Tali.

"You're right though. Oh keelah you are right. I want John to love me like he used to love. I don't want a cold relationship with him, though to be honest I'll take whatever I can get. I need him."

"Almost as much as he needs you." Kelly whispered, putting a comforting arm around Tali.

"You think he does?" Tali asked, raising her head.

"I know so. When he's with you Tali, he changes a little. Stands a little straighter, eyes a little more clear, head a little higher. He loves you, I know he does."

"I know, I know. I guess I just want him to be there for me, to say he loves me. He did, once, but sometimes..."

"You want more. And he doesn't always give that to you. And you think sometimes that offering yourself physically to him, to see him face to face, touch him skin to skin, will bring that warmth."

Tali could only nod, her voice suddenly deserting her.

"That might be the case. Sex is a great way to communicate love and passion. But take this from someone who has been there. It can't be the only way."

Tali laughed nervously. "I guess I wouldn't know."

"Hey, don't be. I love sex, but sometimes I wish I saved myself for Mr. or Mrs. Right and settled down with them. Not for very long mind, but it happens."

"That is so strange." Tali muttered under her breath, and got an elbow in her ribs for the trouble.

"We're going to have to work on that homophobia." Kelly chided, though from her tone Tali could tell she was joking.

"I'm not afraid of it, it's just... Weird." Tali grumbled. "I've never even been a little bit attracted to females of any species, not even asari."

"What if Shepard was a woman?" Kelly teased.

That made Tali stop short for a moment. It was an interesting question, would Tali have fallen for John if he had been a she. "That's an interesting question, but I suppose we will never know the answer."

"It's an interesting diversion." Kelly mused aloud.

"You did that on purpose!" Tali exclaimed, "You steered the conversation away from John and religion!"

"Sort of." Kelly admitted, "Mostly I want to see how you respond to a topic, but when it becomes too painful I try to steer things away from it."

"Thanks. You're a good friend Kelly. Even if you do like girls." Tali poked Kelly hard in the ribs with the last remark, making the psychologist squeak in protest.

"Easy, I'm ticklish!" Kelly protested.

"Fine, I'll leave you alone." Tali relented, "But I do have to ask, what can we do to help John heal? I don't know how to pray for him, and I don't know that I really even want to."

"Be there for him." Kelly suggested, "Don't stop loving him. He will heal, with time. Maybe encourage him to pick up his religion again or talk to Thane. Mostly though, just be by his side."

"I'll do that. I don't ever want John to think he's alone again." Tali assured Kelly.

"But what about you? What are you getting from the relationship?" Kelly demanded, "This can't be a one way street where you prop up Shepard. "

"That's a hard question. I suppose even with all the changes that have happened, he's still a kind and loving person at his core. He makes me feel safe and desired, tries to protect me."

"This is about the man that routinely takes you into warzones?"

Tali flush and replied, "Well, yes, but that's not the point. It's our job to go into danger but when we are there Shepard takes care of me. Or when someone accosts me on the street he steps up to defend me. He's always willing to go into danger first."

"If that's the case, why do you want the man he was before back so badly?" Kelly asked, and Tali could tell Kelly was listening carefully for the answer.

"Because he isn't happy with who he is right now. Because anyone who isn't me he has no patience for and if they stand between him and his goal he cuts them down. The old Shepard loved everyone as much as you do."

Kelly smiled. "Good answer. If you weren't taken, I might have to try dating you myself."

Rolling her eyes, Tali stood and helped Kelly up. "Come on, I'm tired but I'm not ready to sleep yet. You look like a girl who enjoys shopping and we need some tech upgrades."

Kelly grinned widely and skipped ahead of Tali. "Do I ever! Come on, this is Illium! They have the best shopping in the GALAXY!"

_Unna'Karis: I have to ask, when did Shepard start to warm up to Saint Krios? Did he ever?_

_Tali'Zorah: They did become good friends, and in a manner I don't think anyone other than the Ancestors could have predicted. _

Authors Note:

I just found out Thane has the BEST LINE EVER. He and Shepard are about to become bros. Just wait, it will make sense if you remember Thanes dialogue.


	38. Chapter 34: Blue Tears

Chapter 34: Blue Tears

_Unna'Karis: I almost hate to ask this, but did Shepard reject his faith entirely? Did he ever regain a belief in God and the Ancestors, or is that all propaganda as well? _

_Tali'Zorah: He did, though perhaps not as publicly as what is preached by some, and he assuredly did not ever fall into delusions of Godhood as is preached by the Cult of the Shepard. _

_Unna'Karis: It's just that you describe him as openly hostile to religion._

_Tali'Zorah: For a time, he was. But being joined by Saint Krios and Saint Samara... Well, with two beings recognized as some of the most Holy among the Ancestors in his crew, he eventually relented. _

After going shopping with Kelly, Tali tried to get some rest, but found sleeping difficult. She tinkered around in reactor core for a while, but with so many technicians running around installing new equipment, she just felt in the way. She finally retired for the night, and fell asleep quickly to her surprise.

She dreamed of her mother, and of her father. They stood in the ranks of the ancestors, in the foremost rank in a silent mass that stood beyond what Tali could see. Their faces where bare, and Tali realized that she had not seen her father or mother's bare faces in so long they must be her imagination. Her parents stood silently, though their mouths worked as if trying tell their daughter something.

"What! What more do you want?" Tali shouted, but no words left her lips. "I'm doing all I can, all I know how to do! Why aren't you here, with me, to guide me! Why has the fleet abandoned me!"

Her parents continued to silently stare, unable or unwilling to answer.

When Tali awoke, she grumbled, "Ancestors are bosh'tets," and got to work.

There wasn't much to do while the ship was in dry dock, and she quickly completed her morning check list with EDI's help. After that, she made her way down to the mess where she found John half awake, shoveling food into his mouth with a steaming mug at his side.

"Morning." He muttered, blinking at Tali sleepily.

"Rough night for you too?" Tali asked, grabbing a vial of nutrient paste and mixing in a few stimulants with a packet of flavoring.

"Yeah. Bad dreams."

"Same for me. My parents." Tali sympathized.

John set down his fork and took Tali's hand, giving it a squeeze. "I'm sorry. You're father's freshly dead, and you found the body. I tried to make myself grieve for mine, but honestly, I couldn't. No tears, no remorse, couldn't even remember his face. Guess I'm more robot then I thought."

Tali took John's hand in both of hers. "I know how you feel. I couldn't even remember the last time I saw my father's face. Probably when I was just a girl."

John blanched. "That's not fair of me, at least I have picture of the old man. Even if we weren't exactly on speaking terms and he didn't have much to do with me once he and my mom broke up for good, at least I know what he looked like."

"At least my father talked to me. I have happy memories of him. Kelly told me to hold on to those, to choose to remember him that way."

John nodded, but his eyes lost focus on Tali's face. "But what if there not gone? What if there is an afterlife? What if I just can't remember it?"

"Perhaps that is because Kalahira sent you back for a purpose." Thane said from behind John.

"Now's not a good time Thane." Tali chided.

"Forgive me, it is sad to see that the two of you are not Whole. I only sought to offer comfort." Thane apologized, bowing slightly before sitting with his own tray of food. "Perhaps if I redirect the conversation to a more comfortable arena such as our mission on Illium, it would lighten the mood."

"That sounds great Thane." Shepard agreed, breaking contact with Tali and reaching for his fork, "redirect away."

"I know who you seek next, your AI informed me." Thane commented, cracking a raw egg of some sort over a piece of toasted bread, "And I know how best to recruit her. I have heard of Samara before."

"You know the justicar?" John asked, pausing his fork halfway to his mouth, "How did that happen?"

"By reputation only. What do you know of asari justicars?" Thane asked, munching on his toast.

"They're some sort of asari para-military organization, like a ships volunteer militia." Tali guessed, screwing in her nutrient tube.

"I thought they were basically marshals for asari space. I'm sort of surprised one is on Illium, even if it's an asari colony, it's not technically part of asari space." John added.

"You are both partially correct." Thane agreed, leaning forward and steepling his hands. "The justicars are warrior monks, and they do police asari space. It is something one has to volunteer for as Samara did. To become a justicar you must give up everything, family, possessions, your former identity. They travel in pursuit of specific goals. For some, this may be a specific brand of crime crime, or the activities of a specific criminal organization, or whatever crusade they feel they must undertake."

John groaned softly and put his face in his hands, and Tali felt a pulsing grow in her temples. Just what they needed, another zealot.

"Samara's case is... Unique. I will say no more, but I know of her work, and I hold her talents and morals in the highest regard." Thane finished, then smiled. "And unlike me, I do not believe she feels the need to pray aloud every other sentence."

That made Tali choke on her nutrient tube, and John fall completely off the bench.

"Do not think me unaware of the feelings of others." Thane said as he slapped Tali's back, "It is just with so little time left to me, I no longer feel any shame for professing my beliefs, nor will I stop because it makes others uncomfortable."

"What do you mean, so little time left to you?" Shepard demanded, "I wasn't told you were dying in the briefing I received."

"I have Kepral's Syndrome," Thane explained, "It is similar to the human disease Cystic Fibrosis, a disease that humanity has conquered, but the drell have not. It is fatal, but slow. It will not impair me for some months to come, and by then I expect we will either have succeeded or I will have perished anyway."

"Does everyone on this boat hide their diseases?" John muttered darkly .

"I don't know dear, how's the cream Dr. Chakwas gave you working?" Tali asked sweetly.

John flushed deep red and muttered, "Let's get going, I want Samara on board and up to speed as soon as possible." He turned to Thane. "Since you know more about her than anyone else, you're coming with us."

After about an hour, everyone was kitted up and ready to go. Miranda flew the shuttle over to the last place Samara was sighted and dropped them off.

"Have fun storming the castle!" The Cerberus operative called as they stepped out.

"I brought a wheel barrow, but I lack a robe." Thane replied, folding his hands together and bowing to Miranda, "Anale The Seeder grant one grows in our path."

When everyone stopped and stared at him, he flicked his eyelids twice and muttered, "My apologizes, perhaps I do not understand human culture as well as I thought I did."

"Right. Moving on." John ordered, "There's a police station just over there, perhaps they know where the justicar is."

As it turned out, Samara was actually in the police station, patiently sitting in an alcove while she meditated.

"What! What do you people want?" The sergeant in charge snapped, "Listen, clear the hell out of here. In about four hours this place is going to become a warzone."

"I will not harm any innocents, nor anyone who does not impede my investigation." Samara interjected from her alcove, "If you do not attempt to restrain me detective, I will not harm you either."

"Yeah well, we both have our own codes." The detective grumbled. "I'd prefer not to shoot you, but sometimes people don't get what they wish."

"I'm former Council Specter John Shepard. Is there some sort of problem here?" John asked, looking around.

"You're a specter?" The detective asked, her asari features lighting up with joy, "Does that mean you're here to take the justicar off my hands?"

"Former specter. And yes, I am, if she's up for stopping the collectors." John answered.

"I am afraid I cannot do that Shepard," Samara answered, opening her eyes and standing. "I am in the pursuit of a dangerous criminal. And I am not sure if I would join your company, seeing as you keep the company of assassins."

Thane spoke up, "Eliara was not a contract. She was responsible for the death of hundreds, including my wife. The gods guided my body there, and I sent her to be with Kalahira to atone for her sins. I pray for her soul daily."

"You are Thane Krios, are you not?" Samara asked, coming over to look the drell in the eye. "The same who allowed my quarry to escape on Endela?"

"I was not aware of what she was." Thane answered, looking Samara back dead in the eye, "She spun a story of a lost and lonely child. I ignored the voice of the gods in my soul and let her go. I was still in my battle sleep, and my crime is unforgivable. It is one of the many sins I seek to atone for by joining the Commander."

"Wait, I thought you said you knew of Samara only by reputation. What's going on here?" Tali demanded.

"Thane Krios and I have never met before this moment." Samara answered coolly. "Never the less, he owes me a debt. Perhaps the Goddess has sent him to repay it."

"I interfered with her mission once." Thane explained, "I did not know the truth of her cause at the time and was mislead. Many have died for my mistake."

"Sounds like the two of you have quite a bit of explaining to do. Save that for later though." John informed them, then turned to the detective. "Why are you holding Samara, and why is a warzone about to develop?"

"My superiors have ordered me to hold Samara due to fear that she will cause a cross species incident." The asari detective explained, "But the Justicar Code will only allow her to be held for a day, which is almost up."

A sudden light entered the detective's eyes as she continued, "But, if say, a Council specter ordered me to release her into his custody and investigate matters on his own, I would have to comply as specter authority supersedes that of my superiors."

"I'm actually no longer-" John began, but the detective had a sudden coughing fit.

"I'm sorry, what was that First Human Specter Who Clearly Isn't Dead Commander Shepard? You were saying that you wanted me to release Samara into your custody?" The detective said as soon as her coughing subsided.

"I think that's exactly what he was saying, isn't it John?" Tali answered, elbowing John hard in the ribs.

"Of course." He replied, managing to keep a straight face. "Why don't you draw up the paperwork detective...?"

"Anaya Pl'ona."

"If you will aid me in my investigation and swear to allow me to follow up any leads from it, I will follow you in your fight against the Collectors." Samara stated, "It would be a worthy Crusade."

"This person you're after, they're that bad?" John asked.

"She's a mass murderer, with two confirmed kills on Illium alone before she fled." The detective confirmed.

"If it is the same individual who's escape I aided in, then she is perhaps the most prolific serial killer in the galaxy." Thane added.

"Well, then I guess we'd better help out. Consider yourself in my custody Samara." John agreed.

"Great! Just sign here please." Anaya gleeful offered a data slate, and once she got John's signature she quickly pocketed it. "Well, since you're a Council Specter and all, I guess I better give you full clearance to the murder scene. Come on."

Anaya led the party to a blocked off alley way behind the police station.

"Woah, Anaya, what's the justicar doing back here?" One of the asari officers at the scene asked, raising her pistol.

"Specter business Foli, need to know basis." Anaya replied.

The officer shrugged and holstered her pistol. "Ok, works for me. Didn't feel like dying today anyway."

"There you go." Anaya said as soon as the other officers dispersed, "Good luck. It was an honor to meet you lady justicar."

"It was an honor to meet one who does her duty with such honor." Samara answered, nodding politely, "Goddess go with you."

"Now, what are we looking for?" John asked once they were all in the alleyway.

"The police are investigating the murder of a volus. He was a smuggler, and likely angered the Eclipse Mercenaries that control this area." Samara explained, "I am after the Eclipse group because they smuggled a dangerous criminal off world who I am sworn by my code to find and execute. From the mercenaries I require only information, though their exploitation of the week means I will not hesitate to send them to the Goddess."

"So we need to get the information from Eclipse and get out of here."John surmised.

"Exactly. There base is this way." Samara stated, and took off down the alley.

"Why do people keep thinking we love to charge straight into danger?" Tali asked as they sprinted after the justicar.

"Likely because you consistently do so." Thane replied deadpan.

"Pretty sure that question was rhetorical Thane." John grunted, drawing his assault rifle, "And it looks like Eclipse is ready for us."

They caught up to Samara, who was calmly walking forward with a massive biotic barrier in front of her as Eclipse mercs desperately emptied thermal clips at her.

"Find peace in the Embrace of the Goddess." Samara told them, then shot each of them square in the head. Her gun glowed with biotic power as she fired, and the rounds sliced clean through the mercs kindetic barriers and armor.

" Kalahira guide their spirits, and welcome them to endless waves." Thane murmured.

"Keelah," Tali whispered, "She's as strong as Jack is."

"She's an asari matriarch,"John explained, "And she'd have to be powerful for me to be willing to put up with the dogma." .

Word of the justicar's coming seem to have spread, and there was no trace of mercs as they made their way through the compound, until a whimpering was heard from a storage room.

"Sounds like someone's in there, should we check it out?" Tali asked, not sure if she wanted to see any more mercs callously executed by the glowing angel of wrath.

"They may have the data I seek." Samara stated, and opened the door.

There was a flash of yellow armor, and a soft sobbing sound from behind a tree. Samara stepped forward, gun pointed at the hiding place.

"I surrender! I surrender!" An asari voice squeaked, and a young asari in Eclipse gear stood with her hands raised.

"Do you know the destination of the Ardak-Yakshi?" Samara demanded, keeping her gun trained on the girl.

"What? No, I'm new, they didn't tell me where the scary lady was going! Please don't kill me!" The asari pleaded.

"I think she's telling the truth." Tali interrupted, trying to figure out a way to keep Samara from executing the mercenary.

"I agree, but she is still guilty of a multitude of crimes. Her armor is that of The Sisterhood. She must have killed an innocent to wear it. My verdict is still the same." Samara pronounced.

"Was I ever that hypocritical?" John whispered to Tali.

"No, you were a lot kinder. I sort of miss the old you." Tali answered. Before John could respond, the Eclipse sister spoke up again.

"No, please, I'm sorry! I thought I would be flying around the galaxy blasting bad guys! I killed that volus, but they told me he was trying to poison everyone with an experimental drug. I didn't realize they were angry just because he ripped off Eclipse!" The asari plead.

"I will pray that your soul is better treated in the afterlife." Thane told her, bowing his head.

John snorted and rolled his eyes, turning to leave.

Tears began to leak down the young mercs face, and she bowed her head. "My mom always said the justicars would come for me if I went bad. Please don't tell her that her little Elnora went so bad."

"John, wait,-" Tali hissed, grabbing him and pulling the Commander back, "Can't you do-"

Before Tali could finish her sentence, Samara raised her pistol and leaned down to kiss Elnora's head. "Turn from your wicked ways. Report yourself to Detective Anaya, she is a just and honorable woman. If you cleanse yourself of your sins, you will be forgiven. As the Ysis told the rabble in Third Teachings, go and sin no more."

John spun, eyes wide just in time to see Samara stand back from Elnora.

"You mean it?" The asari girl whispered, "I thought justicars always killed the sinful."

"The Goddess shows wrath to the guilty, but those who seek mercy will find it. Go child, and leave this life behind."

Elnora bobbed her head. "Yes, I will. I'll go to the police and turn myself in. Thank you, I suppose you just saved my life." With that, she ran out of the building.

Samara turned to face John, a smile playing on her lips. "We who follow the Goddess are not all hypocrites Commander. You were a man of faith once, perhaps you will find the Goddess again one day."

John swallowed, then rasped, "But I never believed in the asari Goddess."

Samara shrugged. "I have never believed in any human God or gods," Tali could hear the upper and lower case letters, "But perhaps the Goddess is found in some of them. Those who do good, seek justice, help the weak and fight for what is right serve the Goddess whether they know Her not. Come, we must still find where the Ardak-Yakshi went."

"Lead on, siha." Thane agreed, stepping aside to let Samara past.

They trekked through the base again, and before long they heard distant shouts and babbling, inter-spaced with loud breathing noises.

"That sounds like a volus." Tali observed, "Another potential victim of Eclipse?"

"If he is an innocent, we shall save him." Samara vowed, and they charged through the corridors.

As they got nearer, they began to distinguish the babble.

"I am a BIOTIC GOD! -hissss- Tremble before my wrath! You, you chair! -kssshhhh- TREMBLE!"

"What is that bosh'tet babbling about?" Tali asked.

"Sounds like he got into some of the drugs Eclipse was selling." Shepard observed, flashing Talia grin. "Seems like everyone is getting on my case about God today."

"Perhaps the gods are merely waiting for you to listen." Thane posited as they ran into the room with the volus.

Shepard stopped, frowning at Thane. "Yeah, well, mission first." He walked up to the volus. "Hey, biotic god. You know anything about an Ardent Yak-she?"

"Ardak-Yakshi." Samara corrected, coming over to stand by Shepard.

"I know nothing of an Ardak Yakshi!" The volus hissed, "I care nothing for your petty quest-kssssshhh-! I seek only revenge! I was in torment when the Eclipse pumped me full of drugs, but they knew not what they were growing in my mind -hisssss- I will go through them like a great wind! A great... shhhh... biotic wind! Of biotics!"

"I don't think he's ready for combat John." Tali remarked.

"Take a nap buddy." John said, gently tipping over the volus so he lay flat on the ground on his back.

"I- great wind... hissss... Oh, I'm so tired. I guess I will take a nap..."

"Sleep well." Thane whispered, "And dream of bulbous women."

For some reason, John burst out laughing. "Now I get it. That was pretty good. Your other one too. Grow you a robe... I get it now... I even call her Miracle Miranda..." He continued to chuckle, doubling over with laughter.

Samara and Tali exchanged puzzled glances. "Don't look at me, human's are weird, even if I am dating one." Tali said with a shrug.

"I thought that vid was of particular significance to you. I met your friend at the soup kitchen last night, we served the hungry together. He assured me 'Princess Bride' was your favorite. I have only watched it once, but as I have perfect memory, I can quote it as easily as he did to me. I found it rather amusing."

"Oh keelah." Tali moaned, slapping the palm of her hand on her visor. "You talked to that bosh'tet?"

"Is Conrad Verner not a friend of the Commander?" Thane asked, a puzzled look on his face.

That just made John laugh all the harder, slapping his knees and wheezing.

"Let's just say they're acquaintances and leave it at that." Tali sighed.

"This is not helping the mission. My quarry draws farther away with every moment we waste." Samara chided.

"Sorry, sorry." Shepard gasped, standing up straight. "Sorry, I needed that. Whew. Let's go."

They walked in to find an asari standing behind a desk, examining a data slate and sipping from a cup. "So, fought your way out of the police station did you justicar?" The captain asked, setting her drink down and smacking her lips. "You shouldn't have made it so terribly obvious that you were coming you know. I didn't like smuggling that filthy creature off world, but she paid well enough. Normally I would just give you the data you want for a price, but you and your pathetic code would never allow my operation to stay intact."

"You are correct in that assumption." Samara agreed, slowly circling forward, her pistol drawn. Tali and the rest of the squad drew their own weapons. Having seen what Samara could do, Tali figured anything that was making her cautious was probably worth treating with respect.

"You are smuggling an illegal chemical with the aid of the volus, Pitne For. You tortured and experimented on one of his associates, and had another assassinated by your initiate, Elnora. Did I miss anything?" Samara asked, continuing to draw nearer to the mercenary captain.

"Pitne ripped me off!" The asari snarled, "He'll get what's coming to him, I already dealt with his men! As for Elnora, well, she may act sweet, but once we hopped her up on the drugs she was thrilled to kill the volus!"

"Her body acted independently of her soul. She was not Whole, and the guilt of her crime is laid at your feet." Thane declared, his tone deadly as his body glowed with biotic fury.

"Yeah, well, fuck all of you. You shouldn't have taken so long to get here. KILL THEM!" The captain screeched, using her biotics to hurl a barrel of deadly chemicals at her foes as mechs and Eclipse mercs poured into the room.

"I will handle the captain. Once she is down, the rest should be uncoordinated." Thane whispered. He rolled into the shadows and vanished.

"Easier said than done." Tali growled, sending her drone to engage a squad of mercs while she tried to hack a group of LOKI mechs.

"I'll keep them off you." John shouted, blazing away at a mercenary that tried to flank Tali.

Samara was working alone, decimating any Eclipse mercs that got near her with biotic fury and roaring out, "THIS IS THE JUDGEMENT OF THE RIGHTEOUS " As she shot her Carnefex into nearby targets.

"Doesn't look like Samara is much of a team player." Tali observed as she hacked another LOKI mech.

"She's worked alone for a while. I'm sure a few drills and she'll do as well as say, Grunt." Shepard replied as he slapped in a fresh thermal.

"Look out!" Tali shouted as a barrel of chemicals hurtled toward them. It was suddenly halted in mid flight several meters from Tali and Shepard. Tali glanced over to see Samara clench her fist, causing the barrel to explode over the heads of several Eclipse mercs.

"See, she's learning already." John panted as he sprayed fire at an Eclipse commando.

Suddenly, the mercs started to retreat, leaving only the mechs for the party to deal with.

"The captain has gone to the waves. May she rest in the embrace of the Goddess." Thane's voice said over the comms.

"Guess Thane's a pretty good assassin too." Tali laughed.

"Yep, we're quite a team." Shepard agreed as he fired a concussive round into the last mech.

"Wait, when did we start talking during combat?" Tali asked, "Normally we treat things like it's a life or death situation."

John paused, then shrugged. "I don't know. For some reason, I feel really good right now. Like a weight lifted off my shoulders. I think back there with Thane, that's the first time I laughed, really laughed in a long time. And you're here. You've always been there, but now I know you're here. With me. For some reason, this fight didn't seem serious. Like we couldn't die."

"Though the Goddess watches over her own, it would be prudent of you to remain vigilant in combat." Samara remarked from behind them.

Tali tensed, expecting John's lighthearted mood to dissipate, but instead he rolled his eyes and declared with mock exasperation, "Yeah, OK mom."

Thane appeared out of the smoke of battle, holding a data slate. "I believe this is the information you are looking for siha."

Samara took the slate and quickly glanced over it. "She has gone to Omega. That, at least, is a starting point."

"Unfortunately, our ship is in dry dock at the moment." John told her, "And I have an obligation to an old friend to go after the Shadow Broker once it's finished. "

Samara's eyes sparkled. "You would destroy the Shadow Broker? That is a noble cause indeed. First you say you are fighting the collectors, then the Shadow Broker? You are a man of great ideals."

Suddenly, Samara knelt. "By the Code I will server you Shepard. Your choices are my choices, your morals are my morals, your wishes are my code. Until death find me, or you release me. I swear this before the Goddess, in Her Name as Maiden, Matron and Matriarch."

John stepped forward, putting his hands on Samara's head. "I accept your bond as captain of the Normandy. In return for your service I swear to hold your trust sacred, never asking you to go farther than you will or demand that you take the life of an innocent without due cause. As I stand before..." At this point, John choked slightly but continued, "I stand before the Throne of God, so I do swear. In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritūs Sancti."

"So it is witness, so may it be." Thane rumbled, "May Amonkira guide us."

Tali felt a tugging, as if at her very soul as Shepard spoke those words. "Keelah Se'lai." She whispered, bowing her head.

_Unna'Karis: Wow, just like that, in the presents of the two Saints of the Normandy, he repented?_

_Tali'Zorah: Oh by the Ancestors no! His path was not that easy, nor was his faith so easily restored. It was a first step on a road that would take him literally the rest of his life to travel back to faith. _

_Unna'Karis: What about you? What about your faith?_

_Tali'Zorah: My path was different, but long and treacherous all the same. The fact that I walked it with Shepard, even for a time... Well, together we got through what would have destroyed us alone. _

Authors Note:

True story, Conrad Verner is behind the Cult of the Shepard, and Princess Bride is part of their doctrine.

(No, not really. The Cult will be addressed at some point in the far future in the fic, but I still like Princess Bride)

In other news, people keep asking me not to let this fic die. I will make ya'll a deal. As long as someone reads and reviews a new chapter I post, I promise I will write another chapter. Now, obviously, that doesn't mean I will update immediately or anything crazy like that. What it does mean is that as long as I have at least one fan, I will keep on going. I might keep on going anyway (I'm stubborn like that) but I will surely keep at it for my readers! It may take another year or two, but this thing will go to completion. So if you want me to finish this, drop a review when you read a new chapter and you have a guarantee you will see the next one.

Keelah fic'lai (by the fic I hope to see finished one day)


	39. Chapter 35: A Single Step

**When you go the part where O'Flaherty begins to play, I recommend putting watch?v=b74s3FcrLjc into youtube and listening. Because that's the only song that makes bagpipes sound good (Except for Scotland the Brave).**

Chapter 35: A Single Step

_Unna'Karis: When would you mark the start of your own walk with the Ancestors?  
Tali'Zorah: About the same time Shepard found his own path again actually, and at the prompting of Thane and Samara. Shepard's path and mine from that moment onward would be so intertwined I don't think you could tell the difference between them._

_Unna'Karis: Why is that?_

_Tali'Zorah: Jesus and the Ancestors carried us from then on. _

The trip back to the police station was peaceful. With the Eclipse captain dead and her forces decimated, the rest of them seemed to be staying clear of Shepard's squad.

"So, Thane, why are you calling Samara 'siha?'" Tali asked as they made their way out of the Eclipse compound, "My translator isn't giving me anything and I need to update it."

Thane's membranes flicked over his eyes and he glanced away, his throat reddening slightly.

"Siha refers to a warrior angel in the Anu'el'eshi faith I believe. I take it as a compliment." Samara answered for him.

"She is correct." Thane muttered, "It seemed appropriate."

Tali glanced back at Samara and remembered the way she had held off a dozen mercenaries and as many mechs alone. "Sounds about right to me."She turned to John, "What about what you said at the end of your oath to Samara? It sounded religious, but my translator didn't get either."

"That was Latin." John explained, "It means 'In the Name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.'"

"That sounds like what Samara said." Tali mused, "What does it mean, exactly?"

John fell silent, and Samara spoke up again. "The asari believe that like us, the Goddess has three forms in which she appears to us. She comes as Maiden, daughter of the Matron who appears to us as we grow and learn. She is young, innocent and vital, as well as a warrior who fights against evil. The Matron is mother of us all who nurtures and protects us in our time of need. She is the comforter and helper. The Matriarch is a dispenser of wisdom and judge of the guilty. She is more concerned with the asari race as a whole, and is who we credit with saving the asari race from the demons of the night."

"What, so you have three Goddesses? I thought the asari believed in one Goddess?"

"There is but one Goddess, just as an asari has three stages of life, so are there three parts to the Goddess. But she stands outside of time, and so may minister to us as each of them in turn, or at the same time."

Tali frowned at that. "Asari religion is confusing. For the quarian, we know there are many ancestors and appeal to each of them. Well, the ones who really believe do. Most of us do it just because it's what we are expected to do as part of the quarian culture."

Tali turned back to John. "You just believe in Jeebus right? Or do you believe in his father and a spirit too?"

"Tali, if you feel asari religion is confusing, do not question a human about his." Thane interrupted, "I am a spiritual man who has studied many religions as a part of my spiritual training, but even when Father O'Flaherty tried to explain his faith to me I became confused."

Shepard stopped so suddenly Tali ran smack into him. "What, what is it?" She demanded, yanking out her pistol.

"You know Father O'Flaherty? Father Sean O'Flaherty of the Society of Jesus?" John demanded.

"Indeed, I met him during his mission to Thessia."Thane answered.

"Damn. Small galaxy." Shepard muttered, shaking his head. "Father O'Flaherty was the man who baptized me into the Catholic Church."

"He is actually currently on Illium." Thane explained, "I served in his soup kitchen last night."

Tali thought John's eyes were going to bug out of his head. "You cannot be serious. There is no way a coincidence like that-" John suddenly stopped himself, cutting off so fast he let out a half strangled sound.

"There are no coincidences. The Goddess weaves the fate of the Universe." Samara stated.

"Does that mean you can take me to a mass?" Tali asked. The words were out of her mouth before she even realized she was speaking, "I've wanted to go since you took Garrus, and your mother wanted us to go to one."

"I would enjoy going to a human religious service. It may not be a Temple of the Goddess, but I believe she is found in every true hall of worship." Samara remarked.

"I promised to see him again before I left, though I neglected to mention I was with Commander Shepard as I assumed our mission is a secret." Thane added.

"Dammit, that is just not fighting fair." John muttered, glowering darkly.

"What's not fighting fair?" Tali demanded. If this was going to be their first fight, she wasn't going to insist on going.

"Nothing, not you, never mind." John sighed, "Come on, let's get back to the _Normandy._ We'll have time to clean up and make it for midday mass."

"Gods do not fight fair Shepard." Thane joked, "They fight to win."

That only earned him a glare from John, and they finished the walk to the police station in silence.

"Well, I heard the explosions, I take it your mission was a success?" Detective Anaya asked when they got back to the station.

"Eclipse was working with volus Pitne For to smuggle in highly toxic drugs, illegal even here on Illium." Samara replied, handing the detective a data slate with the cargo manifest of Pitne's shipment. "I have also found where they smuggled my target. It is as I thought, the Ardat-Yakshe was responsible for the murders."

"Goddess protect us." Anaya gasped, "Did she escape?"

"She has gone to Omega. I imagine she believes herself to be safe, and will stay there for some time. The Commander has agreed to aid me, and I in turn have sworn myself into his service. That should satisfy your superiors." Samara explained.

"Damn right it should. A justicar is the asari's problem, but if a specter wants to blow up a merc base, that's the Council's problem." The detective agreed.

"Did a girl named Elnora happen to come in?" Tali asked nervously, half afraid that the asari ran for the space port instead of turning herself in.

"She did, though officially she's still being held for questioning so I didn't have to let Pitne go. With this evidence I should be able to get him for smuggling. It's just a fine, but I think Pitne fears that more than just about anything."

"What are the charges against Elnora?" John asked, "According to this evidence, she was drugged by Eclipse and incited to murder. She's not innocent, but that should reduce the severity of the charges."

Anaya took a moment to listen to the audio file John gave her and nodded. "Yeah, that should drop the charges from murder first to second degree manslaughter. She'll pay her dept to society, but it won't involve a couple hundred years on an asteroid mine."

"Thanks detective, we'll be on our way then." John stuck out his hand and Anaya took it, shaking it warmly.

"I'm glad you came by when you did." The detective turned to Samara and bowed, "Goddess go with you justicar, maybe next time you visit I'll be able to show you the proper respect."

"I look forward to it." Samara agreed.

They walked outside to the waiting shuttle where Miranda was leaning up against the shuttle door.

"So, how'd it go?" She asked, taking a sip from an energy drink.

"Oh you know, stopped a crime ring, blew up a merc base, tamed a biotic god and had a religious experience. The usual." John quipped.

Miranda snorted, energy drink spraying out of her nose. "You did what!?"

"And you're invited to mass with us!" Tali exclaimed, "We're going to drink blood!"

Thane was forced to perform the Heimlich maneuver on the sputtering Miranda, who had somehow choked on her drink.

"Are you alright?" Tali asked as Miranda shakily stood.

"Yes, I'm sorry, I should be used to the sort of insanity that occurs on Shepard's missions. I'm going to have to edit your mission reports before I send them to the Illusive Man. Heavily."

"But your coming to mass with us tonight, right?" Tali asked excitedly.

"Um, actually I'm meeting my sister for dinner, but thanks for the offer." Miranda replied, dabbing a cloth on her damp uniform.

They boarded the shuttle, taking the short hop back to the Normandy. Tali took a moment to enjoy the sights as Illium was famous for its beauty. She admired the asari architecture, and wondered what quarian architecture would look like. It had been so long since they built anything but ships for themselves, and those were all blocky, workmanlike affairs. The grace and beauty of the asari's work was breathtaking, and Tali hoped that one day Rannoch would have graceful buildings of its own.

They landed all too soon, and John told his team, "Alright, be in civvies and ready to go in an hour. I'll fly us over there."

"Actually, I think I will fly us over there." Tali corrected. "I'm exercising the girlfriends privilege not to let you drive."

Samara and Thane blinked and stared uncomprehendingly at Tali, but John chuckled. "That seems to be a pattern in my love life. Alright, you can fly us over Tali."

Getting ready wasn't exactly a long process for Tali. She hosed herself off and tried to get some of the battle damage off, but she only had once suit to wear. Something to think about next time they were at the citadel she decided, that shop was probably still there and one of the few that catered to quarians.

Before she left, she found Kelly and asked her if she wanted to go to mass with them.

"You got Shepard to go to a religious service?" She asked in shock, "What did you have to promise him?"

"Oh, the leader is an old friend of Shepard's, and Thane and Samara wanted to go as well." Tali explained, "That and I want to know why humans drink blood at religious services. I hope they don't make me have any, I would probably get poisoned."

"What are you talking about?" Kelly demanded, "What did Shepard tell you?"

"Oh Shepard hasn't told me anything, but he took Garrus once and Garrus told me about it."

"I see." Kelly giggled and smiled. "Then I guess I have to go with you to see your reaction at least. Exactly what do you expect to happen?"

Tali thought about it for a moment, thinking about what a quarian religious service looked like, then answered, "Well, probably there will be a few stories, maybe some chanting and probably food. I'm guessing that's where the blood is. Then the captain gives everyone the blessing of the ancestors and we all go home. Or maybe the blessing of Jeebus, I'm not clear on what humans do yet."

"Obviously." Kelly agreed, "I'm going to have to see what your reaction is."

"John says you should put on civvies." Tali told the still grinning Kelly, "For me that's just what I normally wear, I don't know if you have anything you want to change into."

"You bet. I'll be right back." Kelly assured her.

"Meet me at the shuttle in 15 minutes!" Tali called.

When Tali went down to the shuttle, Thane and Samara were already there. Thane was dressed in a non-descript civilian suit that looked like it would blend right into a crowd with its muted browns and greys. Tali did notice several slight bulges that were likely weapons. Thane probably though that letting even the slightest bulge show he was being obvious. If the assassin had wanted to be subtle, Tali had a feeling not even the most advanced detectors in the galaxy would be able to find them.

Samara was dressed as she usually was, down the Carnefex at her hip. Tali noted Samara had left her sub-machine gun behind though, and wondered if she should have left behind her shotgun.

"Looks like I am not the only one with a single set of clothes." Tali joked.

"I have two." Samara replied, "This is my spare."

"It looks the same though." Tali remarked, looking her over more carefully.

"Of course. The code forbids unnecessary possessions. If it were not for the fact that nudity is frowned upon in most societies, I would possess only the one."

That sort of made sense to Tali. Quarians didn't have many possessions, there just wasn't room for that sort of thing on the fleet. Everything was communally shared except for your suit. Even Tali's weapons were the Normandy's or the fleet, even if she bought and maintained them.

John arrived next, dressed in rough civilian clothes that wouldn't have looked out of place on a coloney, but on refined Illium seemed a tad out of place. To Tali's shock, the only weapon he was carrying was his Predator light pistol instead of the assault rifle, shotgun, sniper rifle, rocket launcher and heavy pistol he usually carted around. He didn't even have any grenades!

"We ready?" He asked.

"Wait for me!" Kelly called, bouncing out in a bright pink t-shirt with a "save the pyjaks" slogun on it, and bright green pants. She resembled nothing so much as a neon advertisement for sunshine and happiness.

"You're coming as well Yeoman Chambers?" John asked, only mildly surprised.

"I invited her." Tali explained.

"Woah, I thought we're going to church, but I'm the only one who doesn't look like they're going to assault an armored platoon." Kelly gasped.

"I'm a former specter that works for a quasi-terrorist organization." John answered, "It wouldn't be smart to go anywhere without a little firepower."

"Here Kelly, you can borrow my pistol." Tali told her bouncy friend, handing Kelly her own Predator pistol.

"Um, thanks." Kelly took the pistol and hooked it on to her belt.

"Well then, shall we?" John asked, and they all climbed aboard.

Tali stepped in and took the pilots chair before John could even glance in that direction. "Thane, why don't you send me the coordinates." She requested as she fired up the shuttle.

Thane complied, and Tali guided the shuttle there after only a few minutes flight time.

"See, wasn't that easy?" She teased John as she gently set the shuttle down at a lot near their destination.

"We would have been dead meat if we were under hostile fire." Shepard replied in a serious voice.

"Maybe next time I'll have to drive like Uncle Wrex taught me too." Tali replied with a giggle as they stepped out

"Just make sure I've gone to Confession first." John answered, making a strange gesture across his upper body.

"Go where?" Tali asked, "And what does this," Tali waved her hand around in front of herself, "Mean?"

There was a loud snort of laughter from Kelly, and Tali and John turned to see the Yeoman with her hands over her mouth and nose trying to stifle her laughter.

"I'm sorry, she's just so precious!"Kelly tittered.

"Sorry Miss Chambers, she's spoken for." John answered, putting his arm around Tali's shoulders.

Tali molded herself into John's body as they walked into the building.

"Our Lady of Perpetual Help Chapel" was lettered in sari on the side.

"Who's the Lady of Perpetual Help?" Tali asked as they entered.

"Mary, the mother of Jesus." John replied.

That answer just prompted more questions from Tali. "Wait, how does Jeebus have a mother? Isn't he a god or something? Does he have a father too?"

"Yes to both." John replied, "Just wait, hopefully the priest will-"

"JONNY!" An elderly man in a dark robe roared as they entered the main room, rushing over to embrace both John and Tali in a huge bear hug.

"What by the saints are you doing here laddie? I haven't see you in nearly three years! I thought you were dead, I was there when father Banks performed your funeral!" The man shouted as he squeezed the breath out of Tali.

"And who's this girl? A quarian? She here to find the blessings of the Lord for herself?" He demanded as he separated himself from Tali and stood back to examine her.

He was about Tali's height, but built like a krogan with big muscles rippling beneath his robe. His hair was grey and thinning, and his face creased with age lines. But he had a huge, welcoming grin and a fire in his eyes that made Tali think he could probably give Kelly a run for her money in the energy department.

"Tali, this is Father Sean O'Flaherty of the Order of Jesus." John said, guesturing to the grinning priest. "Father, this is Tali'Zorah nar Rayya vas Neema. My girlfriend. Thane Krios, an assossiate of mine, Samara a justicar sworn in my service, and my puppy Kelly Chambers."

"A pleasure to meet all of youl!" O'Flaherty beamed, " Especially you Tali'Zorah. Jonny here is a good man. I hear he even joined the specters! Probably why he was dead for two years. Strange stuff, that backroom black ops stuff. Don't you worry though, I still have my top secret clearance with the Alliance and I won't breath a word to anyone, even your blessed mother."

"Why does a priest have top secret clearance?" Tali asked, confused, "Are you some sort of Alliance operative?"

"Oh bless you no, miss!" Sean laughed, "That's just so I can hear confession from people in the N program. That's where me and Jonny boy met."

He turned to his other guests. "Thane Krios, I'm glad Anale has grown your path back to my doors. Conrad's here too as well, he's trying to start an orphanage and I offered to help him out."

"Oh no, Conrad's here?" Shepard moaned.

The Father turned back to Shepard and gave him a wink. "You better not breath a word that I know you Jonny. Otherwise Conrad would want to hear every story I know about you, and I'd have to kill him if I told him."

"Sounds like Conrad." John muttered, shaking his head.

Sean turned to Samara, touching his hand to his lips and holding his fingers out to the justicar. "I am honored to have a justicar in my parish. You are welcome here as long as you wish to stay."

Samara returned the gesture, touching her fingers to the priests own. "My journey is long and my burden heavy, but I will stay as long as the Goddess wills."

"Amen." The priest agreed.

"And who is this pretty young lass? Another one of your friends Jonny?" O'Flaherty asked as he eyed Kelly.

"Dr. Kelly Chambers, Clinical Psychology with a focus in Counseling and a minor in xeno-studies." Kelly answered seriously. She then leaned in close to the priest and in a stage whisper said, "I'm here to make sure Shepard doesn't go off the deep end."

That made the priest laugh. "Oh lass, you are far too late for that one. Jonny's been crazy since before I knew him. Who else would volunteer to be the first human specter?"

"Hey, I didn't volunteer for that one." John protested.

Everyone turned to look at him with varying expressions of disbelief on their faces.

"Well I didn't. Anderson and Hackett picked me." John explained, "I just ended up getting the job because I got the vision from the beacon downloaded to my brain."

"You did what?" Kelly demanded.

"Laddie, I think that was probably classified." Sean sighed.

"You had a vision from the protheans?" Thane asked, intrigued.

"Interesting. Did an asari ever meld with you to interpret it?" Samara mused.

"We can talk about the weird things that happen in Johns head later." Tali interrupted, "Right now I want to find out why people drink Jeebus."

"Do what?" Sean asked in confusion.

"Ah, I have heard of this ritual," Thane commented, "I too wish to see how humans drink their gods blood."

"Oh Goddess." Samara groaned, planting her palm on her face, "It's like when people hear that asari meld as a part of our religious rituals."

"Don't look at me, I'm just here to see the fireworks!" Kelly gleefully interjected.

Sean leveled his pointer finger at John. "Jonny, we are having a conversation after mass. And I expect you to explain a few things to your guests before Father P'riki hears this nonsense. She has enough headaches from trying to explain things to Conrad already."

"Oh Conrad isn't that bad Father, he just takes some patience which our Savior has seen fit to grant me plenty of." An asari voice laughed from behind the group.

Tali turned to see an asari dressed in the same robes that Sean wore.

"Ah, Father P'riki, this is one of my old parishioners from when I was attached to the N7 program, John Shepard and his friends. This is Tali'Zorah, Thane Krios, Samara, and Dr. Chambers."

"The Lord be with you my children, justicar." Father P'riki said with a smile.

"And also with you Father." John replied, bowing his head slightly.

"I look forward to seeing you all in Mass today. Father O' Flaherty, can I borrow you for a moment?"

"Of course, good to see you again Jonny, and to meet all of you." Sean agreed, and trotted after the asari priest.

"Is now a good time for questions?" Tali whispered to John as they headed into the sanctuary.

"I suppose we had better start." John agreed.

"Why were they both 'Father?'" Tali asked, "Sean obviously isn't your father, and the asari isn't male."

"Well that's an easy one." John laughed, "Father is just a term of respect for a priest, male or female. It used to be only men could be priests, but one we made contact with the asari the Church changed things so that women could become priests in the interest of spreading the faith to the asari."

"Makes sense." Tali agreed.

They all sat on a bench, and Tali took a moment to look around at the other people in the service. Most of them were asari as was usual on Illium, and that surprised Tali. She didn't think that other species religion would be so popular, and she decided to talk to Samara and the asari priest about it if she got the chance. Humans were over represented by Illiums demographics, which Tali had expected. What she hadn't expected was that she wasn't the only other quarian in the crowd; there was another quarian in a green suit sitting in front of John's group.

"I'm surprised there's another quarian here, give me a moment, I'm going to go introduce myself." Tali said, slipping from the pew.

She quickly walked up and waved to the sitting quarian. "Keelah Se'lai, I am Tali'Zorah. I am surprised to find another quarian here on Illium, you're the second I have met."

"B-b-black Hand Tali?" The quarian gasped, jumping to her feet, "Is this about my debts? I'm paying them off, I'll finish my Pilgrimage I promise! It's a few years I know, but I haven't forgotten our people!"

"Ancestors girl calm down! I don't even know where you got the name Black Hand from! I'm just Tali'Zorah vas Normandy, I just was glad to see another quarian here, even if it's in a human shrine." Tali said, trying to calm the panicked girl down.

"You mean, you're not here to make me disappear?" The other quarian asked.

"No, but if you don't tell me your name I might be offended." Tali shot back.

"Oh, Jeebus, I'm sorry. I'm Gola'Tris nar Iktomi. It is an honor to meet you Tali'Zorah!" Gola squeaked, bowing to Tali.

"I am glad to meet you Gola'Tris, I take it you're a follower of Jeebus?" Tali asked.

"Well, sort of," Gola explained, "I've started classes to be Confirmed, but I haven't been attending for more than a season."

"I'm still a bit new to this whole human religion thing. My boy friend's a human and I wanted to learn more about his culture, but he's kinda reluctant to explain things. It seems much more complicated then then memorizing all the prayers to the ancestors."

Chuckling, Gola nodded in agreement. "Keelah, you're not kidding. It still doesn't make all that much sense to me, but ever since I said my sinners prayer with Father O' Flaherty I've been doing my best to learn."

"If you don't understand it, why are you coming?" Tali inquired, genuinely curious as to why one of her own people would be interested in Jeebus.

"Well, it's hard to explain, it's different then the ancestors. I never really believed in them, not more than most anyway. I said the prayers and stuff and did all the rituals, but that was just, you know, because that's our heritage."

Tali nodded, that was her own attitude towards ancestors exactly.

"But when I prayed to Jeebus... I don't know. It was like I felt a warmness inside me, like there was someone there to look out for me. I was so lonely, and feeling pretty bad after I lost everything playing the stock market. I even sold myself as indentured servant to cover the loads. But Jeebus is there now, and I don't feel so alone."

"Wait, you're a slave?" Tali demanded.

Gola nodded, shuffling her feet in embarrassment. "Yeah, it's not so bad though. One of Father O' Flaherty's friend, Conrad Verner, got my contract sold to Synthetic insights. They take really good care of me and my knowledge of AI's has been useful to them. My boss has even said if I do well, in five years when my contract is up they will supply me with a gift and passage back to the fleet."

"Wait, Conrad Verner HELPED you?"

"Yeah, he was so kind, he was able to use a contact he had with Synthetic Insights to get my contract acquired. Apparently, he did some work for them a while back and they really appreciated it."

"Well, now I'm glad John didn't shoot him." Tali admited.

"Why would you shoot Conrad? He's so sweet! He's even opening an orphanage here!" Gola protested in outrage.

"Long story. Why don't you come sit down with me and my friends and we can talk some more? You can help explain things to me if I get confused. And then you can tell me why they drink Jeebus's blood." Tali offered.

"Ok," Gola agreed, "Though to be honest, I don't understand why they say they drink his blood either. It's just turian wine."

Tali took Gola back to where the group was sitting and introduced her, then they sat down as the mass began.

The first part was sort of nice. They sang a few songs in sari, and while Tali had never heard any of them before, they were sort of nice, if not the kind of music Tali would have chosen to listen to on her own. Samara turned out to have a beautiful singing voice, and Thane was able to sing passably well in sari himself. Gola and Tali just clapped along to the beat, and John hummed to himself, seemingly conflicted between enjoying himself and holding something back.

"You OK?" Tali whispered as the musicians prepared to change sets.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. It's hard, the last time I was in mass was before I died." John whispered back.

"I thought you were only mostly dead." Tali responded.

John smiled and winked at her, then it was time for the next song. As the song began, Tali felt a chill run down her spin as Father O' Flaherty began to play on a strange looking instrument that looked like a bunch of pipes sticking out of a sack.

_Amazing grace! (how sweet the sound)  
That sav'd a wretch like me!  
I once was lost, but now am found,  
Was blind, but now I see._

The song continued for several more lines as Sean continued to play in his instrument. It was one of the most haunting and beautiful songs Tali had ever heard, second only to the Song of the Ancients she had discovered in the geth outpost. Tali glanced over at John and saw he was crying, tears streaming down his face as he was wracked by silent sobs. She nearly spoke to him, but something made her hold back. She saw that John was actually singing along, though in his own language instead of sari. Tali glanced at Kelly, who was also singing along to the song. The therapist nodded in John's direction and smiled, but kept singing. Tali held her peace.

After the singing, there was a few beneditcions Tali didn't quite understand, then suddenly a small asari girl and a human boy took up a stick with an image of a tortured human on it and began parading it around.

"Why are they showing that, it looks so horrible!" Tali whispered to Gola.

"That's Jeebus." Gola whispered back.

"What? I thought Jeebus was a god, he looks like man who was tortured to death."

"Yes, that's what happened to him." Gola explained, "He was tortured to death for the sins of every sentient."

That brought back memories of Tali's conversation with Kelly. "But didn't he just tell everyone to love each other and not hate?" Tali asked.

Gola nodded. "Yeah, pretty much. He was even nice to the Romans, who were basically the humans version of the turians. Going around, conquering everyone, not helping anyone weaker then themselves and being really mean. But he told everyone that they shouldn't hate the Romans and that they should even do nice things for them. It didn't make any sense to me at first, but then Father P'riki explained to me that the humans Jeebus came from were like the quarians. They got kicked out of their home a few times and were looked down upon because they believed in a different religion, and Jeebus was their promised one. They thought he was going to help them retake their home from the turians, I mean Romans, but instead he told them to love one another. Kinda makes you think about how we should treat the geth huh?"

That shocked Tali outright. It was the first time she had ever heard of anyone ever saying that the geth were deserving of anything but extinction. "How can you say that, the geth are just machines! Evil machines that serve the reapers!"

Gola shrugged. "Hey, you're the admirals daughter. I'm just saying what Jeebus did."

Tali had a hard time paying any attention for the rest of the service. What Gola said really shook her to the core. Could she forgive the geth? She didn't see how that was even possible. Geth couldn't be loved, they were monsters, pure and simple, not really even alive. Something had to be alive for you to love it didn't it? But what if the geth were alive? What if they were capable of love, had a soul, all that stuff? That was hard question.

Before long, the service was over with a blessing from Father P'riki. "May you go with God, and may Mary hold you in her heart."

The crowd responded, "And may the blessings of God be with you Father."

Tali had to wonder, did this God's blessings extend to homeless quarians?

_Unna'Karis: That's when you began your own religious journey?  
Tali'Zorah: Yes, though I didn't know it at the time, I consider that the beginning of my relationship with God and the Ancestors. I didn't know it at the time, but what I had heard in that service would have a more dramatic effect on the galaxy then nearly anything else in my life. _

Authors Note:

All quarians now say "Jeebus." It's a translator bug. That I am so keeping. Also, YAY FOR CONRAD BEING USEFUL!

In addition, I want to thank all my readers and fans. It's been six months since I published Keelah Se'lai, and in that time the outpouring of reviews and general awesomeness has really blessed me. I want to thank all my readers, and I especially thank those of you who have reviewed or PM'd me to encourage me to keep writing. You guys and gals are awesome :) As a thank you, there is now a poll on my profile where any reader can vote on which characters fate will be revealed in the next interim. This poll will be open until February 9th, 2013 and the chapter will be posted the next week.

Keelah Se'lai!


	40. Chapter 36: Regret

**The poll for the next interim is still going on in my profile, and I have to say the results so far are pretty surprising. The characters getting the most votes are not who I thought people would be interested in hearing about at all! Don't worry if you haven't got your own vote in yet, you have until February 9th. **

Chapter 36: Regret

_Unna'Karis: So if that's when you started your path to religion, is it also when you started your path to forgiving the geth?  
Tali'Zorah: It is. The two are one in the same, in many ways. Without recognizing that there is a spiritual aspect to the universe, I never would have begun to consider the geth even worth forgiving. _

After the service, Shepard went to talk with the priests for a while and Thane and Samara left together, leaving Tali alone with Kelly and Gola.

"So Tali, what did you think of a human religious service?" Kelly inquired.

"It was different. I liked the songs, especially that one with the funny instrument Sean played."

"I like that one too." Gola agreed, "The Father plays it very well, and that instrument isn't like anything we have on the fleet. All we have are synthesizers and a few rhythm instruments."

Tali nodded. "Hard to play anything that requires you to blow into it when you have a mask on."

"What about the 'blood?'" Kelly said, trying hard to hide a smile.

"It's just turian wine, unless you get the levo stuff, and both are from here on Illium." Gola stated, slightly perplexed.

"So why did everyone say that it was blood?" Tali demanded, "Was Garrus pulling my leg?"

"Well..." Gola admitted, tapping her pointer fingers together, "You would have to ask a priest, but I think it's supposed to become Jeebus's blood. Not as in an actual physical change, but a spiritual one."

"Why by the Ancestors do they think that?" Tali wondered.

Gola shrugged. "It's because Jeebus's blood is supposed to wash our sins away I think. And there was something about passing it out to his followers at their last meal. Except I think that was wine too. I just want to participate because it makes me feel like I belong. That's what I miss about home the most."

"I know what you mean. I was lonely on my pilgrimage until I joined the crew of the Normandy. I hope most people on Illium aren't as racist as some of the freaks I ran across when I was here." Tali commented.

"You've been to Illium before?" Kelly asked, "When was that?"

"When I was on the run from Saren's men, I came to Illium first for a short while," Tali explained, "I wasn't here for very long, but it seemed like everyone I ran across was a racist."

"Actually, that's pretty much been my experience as well." Gola stated, "With the exception of the people at the parish. Everyone I've seen at mass hasl been very friendly and welcoming. I think that's the biggest reason I started coming. I just wanted to be somewhere I felt welcome."

"Everybody treats me fairly well, the only person who gave me any problems was another quarian. Something about a bad break up with a human."

Gola shook her head. "Oh, that's Heri'Otor. She's a bit of an airhead, wants to make a life for herself away from the fleet. If it wasn't for the fact that she's the only quarian I know of who lives in this part of Illium, I wouldn't have anything to do with her."

"Huh, I wonder why everyone's so much nicer to me." Tali pondered.

Gola laughed. "You're Black Hand Tali! You carry around a shotgun as big as a krogan's, travel with a party of well armed people who don't look like they take crap off of anyone, and are the girlfriend of a SPECTER to boot. I wouldn't mess with you either."

"Black Hand Tali?" Kelly asked, "Where'd that come from?"

"I don't know myself, where did you hear it Gola?"

"Ummm," Gola muttered, tapping her fingers together again, "It's sort of been going around the migrant fleet ever since you killed all those Cerberus agents. You go on all these super secret missions for the Admiralty, kill geth, work with specters, and even discover ancient secrets. You're basically a quarian SPECTER to our people. Don't be offended, I'm actually super honored to meet you, it's almost like meeting a living Ancestor!"

"You still believe in Ancestors?" Kelly jumped in again, "I thought you were a Christian now."

"Well yeah, but that doesn't mean I forgot the Ancestors!" Gola protested, "I talked to Father P'riki about it, and she says Ancestors are like Saints. I just pray to them and ask them to talk to God for me, or ask for their help when I'm doing something. And it's not like you believe in the Ancestors, they just... Are."

"Everybody prays to the Ancestors." Tali explained, "Even if we don't believe in an afterlife or anything like that. It's just what you do, and after all, I still wish my mother and father could help me even if they are dead."

"Your father is dead! That's horrible when did that happen?!" Gola gasped.

"A few weeks ago. He was killed when an inactive geth unit spontaneously reactivated and took control of his research ship." Tali lied, "I found his body and ordered the fleet to destroy the ship when it was obvious the geth were a threat to the fleet's security."

Gola's vocalizer light lit, but no sound came out of her mouth for several seconds. "Oh keelah, you ARE like a living Ancestor! No wonder the Admiralty picked you! If I found my father's dead body, I would have cried for weeks! And if I had seen any geth, if I couldn't hack them, I would have run away as fast as I could!"

"I still wake up in the middle of the night and cry to myself." Tali admitted, "It helps to talk to Kelly, she's not just my friend, she's the ships therapist. I don't know what I would do if she wasn't there."

"Pray to Jeebus." Gola encouraged, "He can take your fears away."

That put Tali on the spot in a way she just didn't feel comfortable with. She was OK with respecting others beliefs or listening to them pray, or even attending a service, but actually praying to Jeebus was a bit weird.

_Even if I did pray to him once, that was for John. Besides, it was my Pilgrimage night. You're supposed to pray then. _

"I'll have to talk to Shepard about that." Tali answered, trying not to sound to evasive.

"Whatever you decide, I'll pray for you and your shipmates." Gola stated, then giggled and added, "to the Ancestors and to Jeebus."

"Thanks Gola, knowing there's people out there pulling for me is important."

Kelly nodded, "Sometimes I feel pretty unappreciated, working for Cerberus and all. It's nice to know people respect we're placing our lives on the line for them."

"Wait, your with Cerberus?" Gola asked, astonished, "But they're terrorists! And you're... Well your nice Kelly and Tali is a hero!"

"It's an alliance of convenience." Tali assured Gola, "Everyone on the ship works for Commander Shepard, not for Cerberus."

Kelly nodded. "Cerberus really is just bank rolling us. I know they have a bad reputation, but at least they are trying to do something about the colonies being kidnapped."

"I hear human colonies were going missing, can you tell me what's going on?" Gola asked.

"From what I understand, it's the Collectors." Tali explained, "I haven't seen any of them personally, but John has, and I trust him more than anyone; I would follow him anywhere. Plus, Veetor'Nara nar Rayya captured some footage of them."

"Oh wow, I've been on my Pilgrimage for a while so I haven't heard anything about that. If you ever need any help with AI programming or assistance, just comm. me. I screwed up on the stock market, but I really am good at programming or taking apart AIs."

"You know Tali, she might be able to help us. We don't have an AI expert on the ship." Kelly commented.

"Why would you need a shipboard AI expert?" Gola asked. When Tali and Kelly just exchanged a significant look, Gola gasped. "Oh keelah, you have an AI on board? Can I meet it? Is it a boy, or a girl? Maybe it's an it... What does it do? Is it unleashed? That could be bad! Oh, I bet Cerberus makes the most fascinating AIs! What was the method, did it evolve from a VI or did they specifically grow one? Grown ones are better at specific tasks but tend to be more unstable just so you know-"

"Wow, is that just a quarian thing or just the tech experts?" Kelly interrupted.

"Is what?" Tali and Gola asked in concert.

"The whole babbling thing. It's like me, but instead of puppies it's machines!" Kelly brightly told them.

"I don't do that!" Tali protested, then she stopped and flushed behind her mask. "Well, not usually. Sometimes. But only when I get really excited. Or nervous."

"Sorry, it just happens to me sometimes. Like Tali said, it's when I get nervous or excited. Most quarians do become overly verbose when they experience a strong emotion. I think it's because we lack the ability to emote with our faces. Most AIs do the same thing because they lack a body, that's why I feel so close to them I think." Gola explained.

"I see." Kelly nodded. "Then it's final. Gola, we need you so that I can have a larger sampling of quarian psychology."

"I think we'd have to talk to Shepard, but I definitely see an AI expert being useful." Tali agreed, "And it would be nice to have another quarian aboard."

"Um, that actually isn't possible. Remember, I'm a slave right now." Gola reminded Tali, "So unless you have a few hundred thousand credits lying around, you'll have to call me if you need my help."

"Oh." Tali was severely disappointed, she had really wanted someone she could talk shop to with. Gabby and Ken were nice, but they got along with each other so well Tali felt like an outside most of the time.

Kelly giggled and waggled a finger at Tali. "Tali, what do you think our budget is?"

Shrugging, Tali said, "I don't know, we just spent a lot of money on upgrades, and maintenance of the ship isn't cheap. I'm getting a pretty good stipend myself, and the rest of the crew gets paid too. All in all, it's probably a lot but I don't see a few hundred thousand for an AI expert as being in the budget."

"Tali, it cost over 4 BILLION credits to revive the commander. The ship itself cost a little less at around 3 billion credits. Our operating budget is approximately triple that." Kelly explained, "If we need something, all Shepard has to do is ask and we get it. How do you think we afforded that clean room for you?"

"What clean room?" Tali asked, then all of what Kelly said clicked. "Wait, our budget is over 20 BILLION CREDITS?!"

Gola just made a small squeaking noise and put her hands over her vocalizer.

"Well yeah, after all, we are saving humanity and the galaxy. Cerberus has put it's every resource into this, and the Illusive Man is the wealthiest being in the galaxy as far as I can tell." Kelly informed the quarians.

"But if we have so much money..." Tali couldn't finish the thought. Twenty billion was more than the total revenue from the fleet in a year. For twenty billion, you could build a dreadnaught. Ancestors, you could build a FLEET of dreadnaughts.

"The reason we didn't just build a fleet is simple Tali." Kelly told her, "This isn't a mission that a fleet can accomplish. We need to find the Collectors, track them back through the Omega 4 relay and stop them. It's about surgical precision, not a hammer."

"Twenty bil could buy you a hell of a hammer." Gola muttered.

"Write up a requisition form for an AI expert and forward it to Miranda. I promise you she will approve it if the expert gets mine or Shepard's stamp of approval, and I don't see him saying no to anything you ask." Kelly stated.

"I, uh, I'll get right on that. Keelah, twenty billion..." Tali muttered, shaking her head.

"Wow, I'm going to have to see your 3 billion ship. Imagine, a ship with a real AI and a clean room. Sounds like heaven..." Gola breathed happily.

"But we don't have a clean room. Do we?" Tali asked, turning to Kelly.

"Well, um, I guess, oh hey Shepard, how's it going!" Kelly suddenly called.

Tali and Gola turned to see a weary looking John coming towards them, carrying a book under his arm.

"Better, I think." John answered.

"We have clean room?" Tali persisted, "And what's the book?"

John frowned and shot a glance at Kelly. "Ms. Chamber, were we spouting off again? Intentionally or otherwise?"

"Wellllll," Kelly began, "It just sort of slipped out. Accidentally. Sort of. I was just talking about the budget, and thinking about how it would be nice if you two relieved a little stress together."

"That's not why I had it built." John sighed, "And it was supposed to be a surprise."

"You mean the two of you..." Gola mused, looking between the two of them.

"We're dating." Tali stated, then gave John a pointed look. "Book?"

He held it up for her to see.

"The Holy Bible." Tali read aloud, "Does this mean you're going back to the old you?"

John shook his head. "There's no going back. But maybe I can try to find a little peace. It certainly isn't in a bottle, a whore or killing mercs."

"Trust in Jeebus, he's made my life a lot better." Gola encouraged, "Also, does your ship really have an AI? Can I meet her? Please?"

"Er, yes it does." John admitted, "Tali, Kelly, just what is going on?"

"You're approving buying an indentured servant so we can have an AI expert." Kelly stated.

"Whoa, first at least check to make sure I can work with your AI! Some of them are very particular, and I'm expensive." Gola warned.

"That sounds like a great idea." Tali agreed, "Come on, I'll fly us back. You can come, right Gola?"

"Yeah, I have today off. By Illium law, slaves get one 36 hour period off per 9 day cycle. I picked 8th days because that's when my favorite service is."

"And do I get a say in this?" John asked, sounding slightly bemused.

Tali leaned up close to John and gave him a big hug, stroking his chest with one hand. "Please? It would mean a lot to me. At least see if she gets along with EDI?"

"Well, when you ask that way..." John answered with a big grin.

They walked back to the shuttle together, laughing and joking. After a remarks from Kelly on the flight back, Tali finally figured out that she thought the real reason John had built the clean room was so that he could get laid.

"You know," Tali told John while he was in the co-pilots seat with her, "I actually think that using the clean room for us is a good idea."

"That really isn't why I built it." John answered.

"Mmhmm." Tali answered, looking at him out of the corner of her eye.

"Well, not the only reason." John admitted, "It definitely crossed my mind, but Mordin says he can use it for his experiments, and I think you do need a place to get out of your suit for a while."

"That's very sweet of you John." Tali told him, "And I think I want you to be there when I do use the room. Not the first time, there's a few things I need to do first. I'm going to talk to Dr. Chakwas and Mordin about it, and call Auntie Raan."

"Tali, are you sure? We've only been dating for less than a week! I don't want you to rush into things." John urged her. "I remember my first time, and it was awkward and rushed. I don't want that for you."

"When was your first time?" Tali asked, though she wasn't sure if she really wanted to know the answer.

John coughed and glanced away. "On the ship my mother and I were stationed on. It was a carrier, the _Isaac Newton._ There was another girl there, named Bo-Yu. She was about my age, and we hit it off. One day we snuck off to a dark corner in the bilges to make out, and one thing led to another..."

"How old were you?" Tali asked, a sort of morbid curiosity coming over her.

John scratched the back of his neck. "Uh, 13."

"Isn't that a bit young for a human?" Tali inquired. She had done a little research, and if she remember right that wasn't even at full sexual maturity.

"Yeah, it is. It was stupid and awkward. Bo-Yu and I only ever did it once, and not to long after she and her mom were transferred to another ship and we lost contact. I was young and stupid at the time."

"Do you think I'm young and stupid?" Tali asked, trying to make her voice as serious as she could.

John sat silently for a moment, and Tali was beginning to think he really did think she was, when he finally spoke. "When we first met, I thought you were young, sure. You were just a kid, out for the first time from home and you were rather naive. You're still a bit naive, but in a sweet way. Now you're a competent, self assured woman. I think that's something I didn't notice when you joined us again. For me, it had been only a month or so since I last saw you. But for you, it was more than two years. Humans have a saying for that, 'She's all grown up.'"

"I think I know what you mean." Tali observed, "Quarians have a similar saying, 'Came back a pilgrim.."

She squirmed in her seat a bit, then admitted, "And seeing you again was hard for me too. You were gone for two years, but I expected you to be the same. You went through a lot in that time, and I should have known better."

John chuckled softly. "Things never do stay the same."

Tali set the shuttle down gently on the pad by the Normandy, and took John's hand for a moment. "I am all grown up John. And I want to be with you. I've never been with anyone, and truth be told it makes me a little nervous. But I want it to be you, and I want it to happen before one of us gets killed. Going after the Collectors certainly isn't safe, and more than likely one of us will die."

"Yeah. I try not to think about that." John sighed. "And sometimes I think about keeping you back, going on missions without you. But I know that if you were calling the shots, I would feel horrible if I didn't get to come with you and watch your back. If you ever feel uncomfortable about a mission let me know and I'll take someone else, but otherwise there is no one I would rather have watching my back."

Tali leaned her head against John's, resting her facemask on his brow. "Thank you." She whispered, "That means a lot to me. And there is no one else I would rather have fighting at my side."

They sat like that for a moment, then unstrapped themselves and got out of the shuttle. Kelly and Gola were waiting for them, and Kelly looked extremely pleased with herself. Tali had a feeling that if she wasn't such a loving and happy person, Kelly would be sitting in a dark corner of the galaxy somewhere creating schemes and giggling "just as planned" when they came to fruition.

"Let's go meet EDI." John said, and led the way up the boarding ramp.

Once they were inside, John gestured to Gola. "EDI, this is Gola'Tris. She's an AI expert we are considering bringing onboard, but we wanted to introduce the two of you first."

A small blue sphere appeared above the cargo bay terminal. "A pleasure to meet you Gola'Tris. Welcome to the Normandy."

Gola inclined her head in the direction of the sphere. "The pleasure is mine, normally I don't get to see a fully fledged AI in action."

"What data suggests that I am not a simple VI?" EDI asked.

"Good question. How about this, what do you think of the relationship between Commander Shepard and Tali'Zorah."

"There relationship is inappropriate. They should have waited." EDI immediately responded.

"Oh really? And upon what criteria do you base your assessment?" Gola demanded.

"If they had waited another 17.4 hours, I would have won the pool." EDI answered. There as a moments silence, then, "That was a joke. I believe Tali and Shepard are compatible for one another based on their interactions and my own assessment of their personalities."

"You are definitely an AI." Gola nodded her head, then laughed. "And a funny one too. Most AI's don't really understand the concept of humor that well."

"Pilot Jeff Moreau, commonly called Joker, has assisted me in developing my sense of humor." EDI explained.

"Which means most of us think her sense of humor is pretty lousy." John remarked.

"I am the very soul of wit." EDI retorted, "Your own sense of humor is simply not sufficiently developed."

"Really? Then what do you get if you put two quarians in a hold together?" Gola asked.

Immediately, EDI answered, "Based on my observations, after 28.3 you would get a small drone capable of making precision jumps. After 40.8 hours, you would have a functioning dextro-amino food lab monitored by the drone. After 104.5 hours, the drone would develop sentience. At 104.6 hours, the quarians would attempt to destroy the drone. At 105.3 hours, the quarians would be forced to evacuate and cede the hold to the drone."

"EDI!" Kelly gasped, her eyes slightly wide.

John frowned, his eyes darkening.

Tali and Gola looked at each other, then Gola fell over laughing while Tali put her head in her hand and groaned.

"That as a joke." EDI said, with more than a hint of smugness in her tone.

"You thought that was funny?" John asked Tali, clearly failing to grasp why she would find EDI's rather colored joke amusing.

"That is sadly rather close to a very common joke about quarians some of the more racist elements of the galaxy come up with." Tali explained, "And one that quarians have a rather perverse fascination with. We tell it on the fleet on occasion."

"I was unaware that my joke was unoriginal. I apologize." EDI chimed.

"Don't apologize!" Gola gasped, standing back up, "That was very good!"

Gola took a moment to run her defogger program, then faced EDI's projection again. "Last question, how could the quarians have avoided conflict with the AI?"

EDI blinked silently for several moments, and Tali found she was holding her breath. "There are several possibilities. First is that the quarians took steps to ensure that the drone VI was not given the chance to develop into an AI. Second is that when it did emerge, immediately quarantining and exterminating the drone. The last is that the quarians and the drone accept each other as equals and work in harmony together."

"But organics and synthetics can't live in harmony!" Tali burst out before she could stop herself.

"Do you find yourself unable to work in harmony with me Tali'Zorah?" EDI inquired.

"But your leashed, and..."

"And not geth." Gola supplied.

"I am not like the geth." EDI agreed, "But according to historical records, it was the quarians that first attacked the geth. Is that data incorrect?"  
"No, we had to, the geth would have attacked us eventually." Tali almost shouted.

"We will never know." EDI stated, "And speculation about the past is not productive. However, if we analyze past faulty behavior patterns, we can correct them for more optimal performance."

"I agree with EDI, we didn't need to attack the geth." Gola argued, then paused and coughed. "I'm... I'm also a Regret."

Tali felt her heart skip a beat. She liked Gola! How could she be a Regret? And she had introduced her to an AI, that was nearly inconceivable! She should have known, should have realized it when Gola talked about forgiving the geth.

"What does that mean, you're a regret?" John asked.

"I've never heard of it, and I've studied everything I could find on quarian culture." Kelly put in.

"It means she thinks we should make peace with the geth. That we were wrong for attacking them." Tali explained. "Quarians don't like to talk about it much, Regrets are pretty unpopular. I'm surprised Gola told us."

"You're a Regret too, aren't you Tali?" Gola questioned, her voice hesitant. "I mean, your song is the reason I became one."

"My song?" That didn't make any sense, there was only one song that Tali was associated with.

"Yes, the Song of the Ancients*. It's about the quarians mourning for the geth isn't it?" Gola prompted.

_*See authors note_

"It, uh, it's..." Tali trailed off. She could clearly recall the song, and while before she had figured that it was about the geth and the quarians. But she hadn't really dwelt on the message of the song. A quarian was mourning not just the loss of Rannoch, but the conflict with the geth. It even mourned the death of geth alongside quarians. "I guess it is." Tali admitted, "I actually never thought about that."

"You mean you aren't a Regret?" Gola asked, then moaned. "Oh keelah I am so stupid! Every time I have a chance I blow it!"

"Does this mean you don't want her on board?" John asked, and the way he said it made it clear that as far as he was concerned, Tali had the final say in the matter.

EDI's light winked slowly, almost mournfully. For a moment, Tali almost told Gola to forget it, that they neither wanted nor needed a Regret on board. But her better nature won out. She thought of how she had felt on Pilgrimage, and how alone and lost she had been. Without Shepard, who knew what she would have come to. And, in the very back of her mind, a part of her whispered, "What would John have done?" The old John would have forgiven. The old John would have given Gola a chance, especially when she was clearly a good match with EDI.

"I'll talk to Synthetic Insights, see how much Gola's contract is. I'm sure she'll be worth every credit." Tali turned and saluted Gola. "Welcome aboard, Gola'Tris nar Ikomi."

_Unna'Karis: And so Gola joined you. You would be together for a long time, wouldn't you?  
Tali'Zorah: Yes, we would. When we met, I thought I would be leading her, perhaps even changing her opinion on the geth to one that was more mainstream._

_Unna'Karis: That's not what happened though, is it?  
Tali'Zorah: It would have been, if not for what happened next. We met another friend. Well, 1183 friends._

Authors Note:

I figure the cost to build a dread is about the same as it is to build an aircraft carrier, so about 5 billion a piece. For twenty, you could build around four, which is a pretty good start for a fleet. And honestly, the only reason the game did not give you ALL THE MONEY is balance reasons. If they spend a few billion to rebuild you, they are definitely not going to skimp on the bankroll.

Gola originally was not intended to join the crew, she's the quarian slave on Illium if you were wondering, but she sort of snuck up on me. Because what this fic needs is more characters for me to juggle.

The song of the Ancients, for Reference:

_O people, weep for thy children_

_O people, cry for the lost_

_O people, mourn for thy homes_

_O people, thy garden is lost_

_O children, lost and without a guide_

_Weep for thy parents that disown thee_

_The garden lays abandoned_

_Its caretaker has fled_

_The gardener has left her children_

_To play alone among her flowers_

_O people, why do you destroy your children_

_O children, why do you slay your parents_

_The garden is stained with blood_

_Blood of the gardeners, blood of the children_

_The garden waits for its maker's hand_

_As the children roam its streets, lost_

_O people, O children why are you lost_


	41. Chapter 37: A Drink with Friends

**The next Interim poll is up until next Saturday, so make sure you vote to see your favorite charecter's fate revealed! Poll is on my profile. **

Chapter 37: A Drink with Friends

_Unna'Karis: So then it was off to find Legion in a dead Reaper._

_Tali'Zorah: Yes, but something important happened first._

_Unna'Karis: Oh! Is that when you and The Shepard-_

_Tali'Zorah: Unna, I've washed your mouth out with disinfectant before. Don't make me do it again. This is when we had a drink._

In a few short days, the work on the Normandy was completed and they lifted off with Liara and Gola on board to head for the Shadow Broker's base. Garrus's team of Grunt, Miranda and Mordin had confronted a SPECTER working for the Broker and stopped her, but not before the rogue asari had blown up a building. However, in the end Liara had gotten the data she needed and was now sure of the location of the Shadow Broker, and the Broker was unaware of her knowledge.

More importantly to Tali, the new shields and weapon systems had been installed, and there was a new, fully functional clean room aboard the Normandy. Tali had been a bit embarrassed to pull rank on Gola and take first dibs on its use, but Gola had insisted that Tali go first anyway. She was still limiting herself to an hour inside, but knowing she had almost unlimited access to the room now was the closest she could ever imagine to being rich. To a quarian, being able to go into a clean room whenever you wanted was an unheard of privilege, even for admirals or their family.

To top things off, Shepard had gotten her a new, gorgeous suit in black and gold. He had apparently gotten it through Liara, who had ordered it for her from the Citadel.

"Two suits and a clean room. I must be dreaming." Tali sighed as she stepped inside. It even had a real, functioning shower with distilled water mixed with disinfectants, another luxury that quarians couldn't normally afford.

When she had contacted her Auntie Raan, the Admiral had urged caution. "Captain Shepard is a good choice for a mate, even if he is human. He is a just and honorable man. If it means anything to you, you have my blessing. But be careful, initial exposure to him will cause a serious reaction, and you should not ingest or take in his bodily fluids at all."

"What about kissing?" Tali asked.

"On your body should be fine after you acclimate to him, and you should be OK kissing him in return once you ensure your body is used to his flora and fauna. But no open mouth contact, that could be dangerous for both of you."

Tali stripped off her old suit and put it into the custom cleaner that had been installed. John had clearly spared no expense, and even though she now knew his budge was virtually unlimited she still felt slightly guilty. Not enough to keep her from using it, but still.

The shower was simply divine, and Tali spent fully 15 minutes just enjoying the spray on her bare body. She had to keep it on the lowest setting so that it was only a mist or it hurt her skin. Tali determined that as she got used to more pressure, she would increase the force of the water. It would be important when she came into physical contact with John. The thought of that... She shuddered with pleasure, and thought of her nerve stim program, or even the manual method.

"No, I can wait. Just a little longer." Tali resolved.

Once she was done with the shower, Tali administered several herbal supplements and a strong allergic reaction suppressant. Then she opened a small vial with a small section of cloth John had rubbed against his bare arm and held it up to her nose, inhaling deeply. After that, she rubbed the cloth on her own arm.

The effect was almost immediate. Tali developed a migraine, a runny nose and a rash where the cloth and come into direct contact. She gave herself another dose of anti-allergenic mixed with medi-gel and applied a cream to take care of the rash. The reaction was along the lines she had expected from what Auntie Raan had told her. The cream and anti-allergenic was from Dr. Chakwas, and the herbal supplements had been supplied by Mordin. After the cream was applied, Tali took a look at her new suit.

It was a perfect fit, and she had already installed her own custom programs and a series of upgrades that would boost her immune system and make her body hardier. She slipped it on and admired herself in the mirror with the visor down. Again, she wondered what John would think, if she was beautiful or not. It was something she desperately wanted, to be admired for her looks. She knew John wasn't going to leave her if she was ugly or judge her on looks, after all he had fallen for her before he had ever seen her face, but it was still important for some reason. The thought made her feel slightly shallow, but it didn't stop her longing.

After that, her hour was up and Tali resealed her suit and exited the chamber. Outside, Gola was eagerly waiting, even though the chamber had to go through a 15 minute self cleaning cycle before it was ready for another occupant.

"How was it?" Gola asked.

"Nob dat bab." Tali replied.

Gola laughed. "If that's not bad, I would hate to see worse."

Tali shrugged and made her way to the medical bay for her mandatory check up with Dr. Chakwas. Gola had a point, but Tali was determined. This was the only way for her to ever be in direct contact with Shepard, and she was going to see it through.

After a quick examination, Dr. Chakwas gave Tali her bill of health. "You've got a slight fever, a rash, congestion, a headache and watery eyes. Overall, initial reaction seems to be mild from the data Admiral Raan supplied me."

"How long befob I cab go to thep two?" Tali asked.

"Hmm. I recommend you repeat this step until symptoms disappear completely. I know that's not the answer you want, but we need you in good condition." Chakwas replied.

"Agreeb. I dob't want to fall ibll and be ubable to go on combat mithions." Tali assured the doctor.

"Good." Chakwas said with a smile, "I trust your judgment Tali, I know you won't do anything to endanger the mission or crew."

Suddenly, the PA system crackled to life and John's voice came over the speakers. "Attention crew. We have been notified of what appears to be a seemingly disabled Reaper. This takes absolute priority and we are dropping out of FTL to change course. In all likely hood, we are heading straight into a trap. A Cerberus team was deployed to check the facts, but after confirming they had reached the objective nothing further was heard from the team. There will be a meeting for all members of the away team and other experts in 2 hours to determine strategy in the conference room."

Tali felt her breath catch in her throat. The only contact she had with Reapers to this point was Sovereign, and that had only ever been by proxies or comm systems. To be inside the belly of a Reaper...

"I'b going to tabk to Liara." Tali told Chakwas, and hurried out to the longue Liara had holed up in. On the way, she suctioned her nostrils. It was hard for people to take you seriously when you talked like your nose was cut off.

Tali found the asari breaking out her gear and double checking all her scientific instruments.

"Goddess Tali, we're going to visit a Reaper. Imagine, the machines that wiped out the protheans, and we have a corpse to go over." Liara babbled as she worked.

"You're not upset?" Tali asked. Liara had been a tad obsessive about the Shadow Broker, and Tali was surprised she was willing for her crusade to be interrupted.

"I'm going after the Shadow Broker to help Shepard." Liara declared, "And if there is something that can help him more, I say we do it. The secrets a Reaper could hold for us... It's nearly unimaginable."

"That's good, I was a bit worried about you." Tali admitted.

Liara laughed and waved the concern away. "I would be more worried about yourself. You finally landed Shepard, but now you have to take the biggest risk with biological contact."

"Don't remind me," Tali complained, scratching her arm, "I've got a nasty rash and congestion, and that was just from a few dead skin cells."

"Ha! Is it everything you wanted back when we were fighting Saren and the geth?"

"Of course it isn't." Tali said dismissively. Liara raised an eye marking, but motioned for Tali to explain. "What I wanted back that was a heroic, dashing human to whisper sweet nothings in my ear and tell me I'm beautiful. I still want that, but now I want more, deeper things. And before you ask, yes I'm a virgin, and no that's not my motivation."

"What's wrong with being a virgin?" Liara asked, slightly perplexed, "I am comparatively your age, and I have not melded with a partner yet."

"But you've had sex." Tali stated.

"Well yes, but that's different for asari." Liara protested, "Among my people the melding is what is important. Physical contact means little."

"Physical contact is everything for quarians." Tali assured her, "I respect that for asari it isn't the same but to me there is nothing I want more in the world then to touch Shepard and for him to see my face."

"I can't imagine it. Physical contact is very important for asari. To be denied that..." Liara shuddered.

"You live with it. That's all a quarian can do." Tali said with a shrug. "And you value those you do come into contact with."

Liara grinned widely. "Listen to us. Apart for more than two years are we're chatting away like we're the closest of friends."

"'Old Shipmates never part.'" Tali quoted, "Quarian proverb."

"Very true. The asari say 'Adversity builds bonds stronger then melding.' I have to say I can't think of a more adverse situation then chasing a rogue specter and his army of geth."

"What about going into a dead Reaper together?" Tali asked quietly.

Liara made a face. "That, by the goddess, might top it."

"Who ever thought there would be something more dangerous then specters and geth?" Tali pondered.

"I imagine the protheans might have something to say on the subject." Liara observed dryly.

They were quietly contemplating that thought when the PA crackled to life.

"Ms. Vas Ikomi to the bridge. Ms. Vas Ikomi to the bridge please." Joker's voice announced.

"Why does he keep doing that? I've told him Gola is nar Ikomi, not vas Ikomi." Tali muttered.

"Oh Tali," Liara giggled, "Why don't you query your translator for what a "vas ikomi" is in human?"

Tali typed it in and let out a gasp of outrage. "He's calling Gola THAT? That bosh'tet, perverted pilot!"

"You know Joker. Always up for a laugh."

"But at Gola's expense? She's still one of my peope, even if she is a Re-" Tali cut herself off and looked away.

"Might be a what, Tali?" Liara asked.

"A Regret." Tali answered. "It means she's a geth lover. Not a good label if you're a quarian."

"Why by the Matriarchs would she love geth? I thought your people hated them."

"Most of us do." Tali admitted, "But she changed her mind because of me."

"Because of you?" Liara repeated in disbelief, "Tali, I've seen how you react to geth. Normally your quiet, kind and calm. But against the geth you turn into a merciless killing machine that gives no quarter."

"Did you ever hear the Song of the Ancients, that quarian lament I found in the geth base?"

"Yes, you played it a time or two. I thought it was beautiful but I don't see how it could make anyone love the geth."

"It's about a quarian mourning the loss of Rannoch. And the fact that quarian killed geth. It laments the loss of quarian life and geth equally." Tali explained. "Gola took it to heart. She's even more soft hearted then I was, probably even more so since she became a follower of Jeebus."

Liara's mouth dropped open in shock, and she stared wide eyed at Tali. "I can't believe it, your right! That song... I didn't think much of it but now that you say it I can easily see how it would be about the geth and quarians!"

"Yeah. Normally I wouldn't want a regret on the same ship as me, but she get's along with EDI, worships the same god as John and, well... I want to be as loving and forgiving as he was before he mostly died."

"Mostly? When I found him, he was all dead." Liara stated.

"Then you should have gone through his pockets for loose change." Tali responded, making her tone light to show she was joking. John had done a crew wide showing of the Princess Bride, and Tali had happily watched it with him. Though admittedly, John hadn't so much as watched it as reenacted it with Miranda, Thane, and to Tali's astonishment, Mordin. Apparently the salarian was also a fan, along with being an expert on human dramas.

"Loose change? Is this some sort of inside joke your old shipmate is out of the loop on?"

"A human vid that's become quite popular with the crew." Tali explained, "It's called the Princess Bride. I'm sure I can find you a copy if you want to watch it."

"I'm sure we can find time to do that. Is that why Mordin keeps telling me everything is 'inconceivable?'"

"Oh yes. You should have heard him after the showing. He kept offering everyone to go up against him in a 'Battle of Wits.' It's also why Gardener has the dextro spices labeled as 'Iocane Powder.'"

They spent the remaining hour or so chatting about old times and the quirks of the crew, then made their way up to the meeting. Before long, the entire group was assembled. Tali had to admit, it was a rather eclectic bunch. Two quarians and half a dozen alien species of which humans of all things were the majority, convicts, a former cop and ex-vigilante, an asari justicar, a thief, mercenaries, an assassin and several former soldiers. Not to mention the krogan killing machine doodling with his crayons in a "Dinosaur! Stomp! Chomp! Roar!" coloring book. And at the head of the table, the first human SPECTER. At his right in the place of honor was a seat for her. To his left his best friend, a turian who had declared a one man war on crime.

"Anybody looking at this group would think we are insane." Tali observed to Liara as they found their seats."

"I hope so. If we were sane, none of our plans would ever work." Garrus mused.

"Speak for your goddamn self!" Zaeed grumbled, "I'm the only sane man on this goddamn ship."

"Says the man who survived getting shot on the head only to spend the next twenty years trying to find the man who did it so he could finish the job." Kasumi said with a grin.

"I've been shot in the head lots of times. Didn't hurt that much." Grunt stated.

"Grunt, you're a fu- a giant krogan. Humans don't take getting shot in the head so fu- good." Jack laughed.

"Krogans are the only species where a direct shot into the cranium is not immediately fatal." Thane observed, "For them, you must take out both cerebral cortexes."

"True. Krogan durable, hard to take out," Mordin added, "Why genophage was used. Still threat in personal combat. Destroying one in single combat-"

"INCONCEIVABLE!" The entire table shouted.

"Yes." Mordin nodded, grinning widely.

"And with that, I'm calling this meeting to order." Shepard announced. All eyes turned to him and silence fell. Everyone's expression turned varying degrees of grim and determined. None of them were going to take a Reaper lightly, even a dead one.

"As you all aware, we're going after the remains of a Reaper. As far as we know, it's been dead for millions of years. But I'm not taking any chances. Mordin."

The salarian stood and activated the display, showing pictures of Saren. "Indoctrination. Haven't seen first hand, but results obvious. STG personal from Saren's labs all exhibit signs of mental trauma. No biological explanation. Assumed to be signal, but no readings from Sovereign in known bands account for phenomenon. Have done research, questioned most lucid survivor. Second Lieutenant Ganto Imness, rescued by Commander Shepard." Mordin nodded at Shepard in thanks.

"Interesting phenomenon. Ganto exposed as long as others, yet resistant. Only one significant difference between Ganto and others." Mordin blinked and exhaled. "Ganto religious. Belongs to Church of the Coming Dalatrass."

Pandemonium erupted.

"What?" Zaeed roared, "That's goddamn bullshit!"

"Interesting." Kasumi mused, "Makes sense if you think of Reapers as gods."

"I don't believe in anything you can't kill." Grunt snorted.

"The Goddess will strengthen us." Samara decreed coolly.

"Spirits, that's scary as hell." Garrus muttered.

"Hail Mary, full of grace..." Gola muttered, taking out a chain of beads.

Thane drew out his own prayer beads. "Kalahira will guide our footsteps."

"I can't believe you're presenting this as scientific evidence!" Miranda ranted.

"Well shit," Jacob laughed, "Guess I should have gone to chapel."

Liara shook her head. "Nothing in my research has indicated anything like this."

Tali just stared goggle eyed at Mordin, then glanced at John. He had obviously heard this before and was letting everyone get their response out of their systems. For himself, he sat with his arms folded across his chest, leaning back in his chair with a neutral expression on his face. Once things had died down he sat up and wrapped his knuckles on the table.

"Alright people, I know this is a hot button issue. I'm not sure how I feel about it myself. But Mordin has literally exhausted every avenue when it comes to this. Gatto was the only member of his squad that wasn't indoctrinated. Tali and I were there. The rest were utterly insane. There is however, one way to disprove this theory right now."

He turned to Garrus. "Any indication that Saren was religious?"

"No, he was actually on record as stating that belief in spirits was old fashioned and held the turians back. That was one thing that rubbed me the wrong way about him. I believe in spirits myself and I don't much care if anyone else does, but crapping over others beliefs crosses a line." Garrus answered.

"Alright. Liara, what about your mother?"

"My mother was a dedicated philosopher. But she did not subscribe to any religion. For a brief time she dabbled in the All is One philosophy, but she never really committed herself." Liara answered.

"Right then. Mordin?" Shepard said, motioning for the scientist to contiune.

"Understand that relationship tenuous, insufficient evidence to back up theory completely. However, only defense we have. Indoctrination not to be taken lightly. STG, strong minds, strong wills. All fell but Ganto. Saren, iron will, very driven. Easy prey. Asari matriarchs powerful, Benezia known for cunning and wit. Fell prey to Indoctrination. Only one logical explanation given evidence. Religious beliefs protect from Reaper influence."

"So what does that mean for us?" Miranda demanded.

Mordin shrugged. "Recommend only those with strong religious beliefs be allowed onto Reaper. Excludes myself, have dabbled in religion but not convinced. Looking forward to results of experiment though, will influence future research greatly."

"That mean's Garrus, Gola, Thane and Samara." Shepard barked. "I'm excluding myself and everyone else."

"What about a control group?" Miranda asked.

"To risky." Shepard said, and his tone left no room for argument. "I'm sending in Garrus with the three I named. I am literally not taking any chances here people. If belief in a higher power turns out to be the best defense against the Reapers, you can bet I'm going to be attending chapel from here on out."

"Fuck me." Jack grumbled, and several others rumbled there assent.

"ETA is 38 hours. That means we have a full day to prepare. Those of you on the mission, you're meeting with Chaplain Rhoades for a mandatory interfaith meeting at o-six-hundred hours. The rest of you are free to do as you wish. Dismissed."

Most everyone dispersed, but Tali, Liara, Garrus and John stayed behind.

"I can't believe it. That salarian Mordin was talking about, that was the STG officer we saved on Virmire isn't it?" Tali pondered.

"Yeah, it was. When Mordin showed me that..." John shook his head. "Let's just say I'm starting to wonder if Thane wasn't on to something about God fighting to win."

"I never thought my best qualification for a mission would be that I honor the spirits." Garrus agreed.

Liara laughed, "I never thought lack of faith in the goddess would be to my detriment."

"Don't tell Samara that!" Tali told her, "She might take it the wrong way."

"I assure you, Tali, I have no intention of insulting a justicar's religion." Liara replied, struggling to keep her expression straight, "I am after all, well acquainted with asari culture."

"Really?" John said with mock shock, "And here I thought you were just a blue prothean."

"Woah there Shepard, that's just racist." Garrus challenged him, "How do you know protheans AREN'T blue?"

"Good point." John admitted, "Hell, they could be even uglier than turians."

"Oh stop it you two!" Liara ordered, laughing and shaking her head, "I thought we were supposed to be discussing the upcoming mission."

"Hey, I'm on the mission." Garrus said, "I'm raising our spirits. That's part of my religion."

"I think I know why EDI says our dialogue is mostly insults." Tali put in, "You're all bosh'tet's."

"I never did figure out what the translates too." John commented, "What does it mean, idiot, stupid or something worse?"

"I'm not telling you." Tali declared, crossing her arms "It would ruin my feminine mystique."

"It probably is just quarian for 'Needs a beer.'" Garrus suggested.

"That actually sounds wonderful." Liara sighed, "It's been a long time since I could actually relax with friends. Who thought that would be aboard a Cerberus vessel?"

John touched a comm node and paged Chief Gardener. "Gardner, this is Shepard. Send up a case of beers, levo and dextro."

"Aye aye commander, on my way." Gardner responded.

"But how am I going drink my beer?" Tali asked when John released the comm node.

"I have been WAITING for you to ask that!" Garrus cheered, and reached into a pouch at his belt and pulled out a rather dilapidated plastic tube.

"What is THAT?" Liara demanded.

"Oh keelah." Tali groaned, resting her head on the conference table, "Why did you keep that?"

Garrus held up the tube and twirled it in his talons. "This, Liara, is an 'Emergency Induction Port.' I was educated on its uses by a certified quarian engineer."

"That appears to be a straw from Blue Noise, a popular chain of asari dinners." Liara said, taking the straw and examining it.

John slouched in his chair laughing silently, tears streaming down his face as Garrus continued his dead pan explanation. Tali quietly banged her head on the table.

"No no no, this is an Emergency Induction Port, completely certified. It is inserted into a small tube in a quarians... Mask. Then, it is used to Induct large quantities of alcohol. And, as my expert advisor told me, Kulula Se'lai!"Garrus declared, tilting his head back and mimicking draining a tall shot.

"I see. And this would be why there are a large number of recordings of a quarian declaring," Liara switched to a near perfect rendition of Tali's accent, "I'm Tali'Zorah, shipmate of Commander Shepard, and thish ish my faaaaaaavorite plashe to drink on the shitadel!"

Tali lifted her head up, a malicious twinkle in her eyes. "Don't forget the recordings of 'I'm the SPIRIT'S DAMNED ARCHANGEL! And this is MY favorite place to drink on the citadel."'

Garuss's mandibles twitched slightly in embarrassment. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Oh ho ho!" John chuckled, "I seem to remember you standing up in a Blue Sun's bar, sniping the glass of one of their captains was drinking from and declaring, 'I'M THE GODAMN ARCHANGEL! THIS IS MY RIFLE! AND I HATE BLUE SUNS!'"

"I was drunk." Garrus explained, "And he moved his head at the last second."

"How did you get out of that one alive?" Liara asked, barely containing her own mirth.

"Because then I hopped up on a table and said, "AND I'M COMMANDER SHEPARD AND I ONLY DRINK THE BLOOD OF MERCENARIES." John answered.

"I don't see how that contributed to your survival." Liara gasped, shaking with her own laughter.

"Well, then someone cut the power and activated the fire containment system." Tali explained, "And then C-Sec showed up." Tali explained, giggling herself.

"Oh Goddess, how did you not get arrested?" Liara groaned with laughter, slapping the table with one arm.

"Because by 'C-Sec,' she means Captain Bailey came in and put our asses in the drunk tank a few hours." Garrus hooted, "I think we scared those krogan so bad when we showed up they STILL flinch at the sound of 'My Blue Girl.'"

When Gardener arrived with the beers, he found four hysterical people in various states of discomposure."

"'Why Gardener, thanks for the beers!'" The chief muttered, "'Why don't you have one yourself?'"

"Why thank you Commander, that's right gentlemanly of you." Gardener declared, taking a Guinness and swigging from it as he left the conference room. "Normally I'm against drinking on duty, but I'll make an exception for you Commander."

As they beers were opened, Emergency Induction Ports employed, and more stories exchanged, Tali snuggled into her chair and smiled. Sometimes, all the danger they went through together was worth it, just for moments like these.

_Unna'Karis: So, what you're trying to tell me is that moments like these were important?  
Tali'Zorah: Yes, they were vital. Do you think we flew around the galaxy being grim and serious all the time?_

_Unna'Karis: Well, um, yes?_

_Tali'Zorah: I don't blame you, most people seem to think so. But we had wonderful times together, times that historians discount, but were more important to stopping the Reapers then all the training in the world._

Authors Note:

Yes, Liara did meld with Commander Shepard. Asari distinguish between what is called a 'Medical Melding' and a 'Partner Melding.' So no, she did not lose her virginity to Shepard. Otherwise asari would all come out having banged their moms.

Also, I really thought we would get to Legion in this chapter, but then I realized that a nice breather chapter where the crew just shoot the breeze and relax was needed. Legion next chapter!


	42. Chapter 38: Lost Child

**You have until this Saturday to vote on the next interim piece on my profile. Writing the interim will delay the update this weekend, the story will be updated on Thursday but will not be updated again until Tuesday, February 12.**

Chapter 38: Lost Child

_Tali'Zorah: As a child that has grown up in this day, it is probably impossible for you to imagine my initial reaction to meeting Legion._

_Unna'Karis: You know my father and I are both Regret's, to be honest, it's surprizing to learn you were not. _

_Tali'Zorah: I am a Regret now, and it is no longer a label of shame. But back then, being a regret was tantamount to being a traitor. _

"So, there it is." Tali observed, gazing out the viewport. "A dead Reaper."

"Dead or not, it still scares me." Gola declared, shuddering slightly.

Garrus nodded. "Don't blame you. I'm not looking forward to going aboard that thing at all."

"You could always claim to have gone apostate." Kelly suggested brightly, "Then I would be forced to disqualify you."

"I'll pass. If I do die, I want my spirit to be remembered." Garrus replied, "Besides, then I won't get to have all the fun while the rest of you sit back and twiddle your talons."

"That's thumbs, Garrus." Tali answered.

"Whatever. Aliens are weird." Garrus turned around and motioned for Gola to follow him. "Come on, let's get to the shuttle. I don't think anyone wants to hang around this any longer then they have to."

That left Tali alone with Kelly at the viewport, morbidly fascinated with the shape before them.

"I've never been this close to a Reaper before," Kelly whispered, "It's frightening."

"Same here," Tali admitted, "The closest I got to Sovereign was little chunks of him. This one is mostly intact."

"And all we can do is wait." Kelly sighed, "I don't envy going aboard, but it is worse just waiting here."

"There is one thing we can do, Kelly." John said from behind them.

Tali turned and smiled as John took his place at her side. She molded herself to him and he put an arm around her. It felt nice.

"What's that, Commander?" Kelly asked, still looking out the viewport.

"According to Mordin's research, pray." John replied.

Kelly's eyes flicked to John for a moment, and a faint frown touched the corners of the psychologist's mouth. "You think so?"

"Hell if I know." John answered, "I'm so confused as to whether or not God really exists I'm about the last person you would want to ask that."

"What do you think Tali?" Kelly asked, turning her eyes back out the viewport and smoothing her face.

"I'm with John." Tali stated, "I have no idea. I think there's just about as good a chance of there being a real God or god as there is a live, friendly geth being on board that Reaper."

As Thane had said, God plays to win.

"_Normandy_, this is shore party." Garrus's voice cracked over the comm after several anxious hours, "We have the data and are coming back for retrieval. No casualties. We also have a... Survivor."

"That's great news Garrus, we're ready for you." Joker said, giving Tali and John the thumbs up behind him, "We're ready to get the hell out of here as soon as you make it back."

It took ten more torturous minutes for the team to return, with Dr. Chakwas and Professor Mordin ordering everyone away from the cargo bay so they could tend to the survivor.

"I'm amazed one of the science team is still alive." Miranda observed from up in engineering, "It's been several weeks with no communication."

"Maybe Mordin's theory is true." Jacob said, "Maybe someone was down there praying to Buddha for a few weeks."

"Not goddamn likely." Zaeed muttered.

Tali put her hand in John's and squeezed. Whoever it was, she hoped-

"GETH!" She shouted, drawing her shotgun and running for the shuttle. "They've brought geth aboard! They're all Indoctrinated!"

Pounding feet and muttered curses followed her down the access ladder as she sprinted for the ship. It was her worst fears imagined, a geth on the ship, her friends' minds corrupted. "What I get for trusting a Regret!" she spat as she sprang into cargo bay.

The geth was standing by Mordin and Dr. Chakwas; Tali didn't have a clear shot, she opened her mouth to shout at them to move, when the geth turned.

"Creator, designation Tali 'Black Hand' Zorah. This unit is glad to meet you." The geth spoke.

The geth, SPOKE?

Tali screeched to a halt, pointing her gun straight at the geths head. "Are you Indoctrinated? What did you do to my friends?" She demanded. Bosh'tet! Geth didn't need to be Indoctrinated, they worshiped the Reapers!

"Be at peace Tali." Samara's smooth tones urged her as the justicar stepped between Tali and the geth, "This geth saved our lives. It is peaceable. And I yet serve the Goddess. The dark god has not swayed me."

"This unit does not understand." The geth spoke again, "Why is Creator Tali'Zorah hostile? We have taken no hostile actions."

"Tali, it's ok!" Gola said, stepping forward, "This geth is friendly! It wants to help us! It doesn't hate the quarians and it wants to help kill the Reapers and fight the Collectors!"

"Just who the HELL thought bringing a geth on my ship was a good idea?" John demanded, coming to stand at Tali's side.

"Shepard Commander, we are pleased to find you fully operational." The geth stated, seemingly oblivious to the furor it had caused.

"Ah, that would be me." Garrus called from where Mordin and Dr. Chakwas were examining him. "Our AI expert said he was OK, and he did save our lives. And get us the Reaper IFF we needed."

"But he's a GETH!" Tali shrieked, still not lowering her gun.

"That is correct, we are a geth. However, we are not a heretic geth. We are true geth. We do not wish the Creators any harm."

"Tali, it's so wonderful!" Gola babbled, "He says that the geth want peace! He says if we go to the geth in goodwill, they would even let us settle on Rannoch again! We don't have to fight them!"

"But, he's geth." Tali mumbled.

"Acknowledged. This unit will now identify as male." The geth stated.

"What the fuck!" Jack shouted, "Since when do geth talk?"

"We are unique. Our mission required communication with organics. Our studies indicate that most organics communicate via auditory input. As such, we are equipped to facilitate this form of communication." The geth answered.

"It have a goddamn name?" Zaeed demanded, "That second person shit is getting on my nerves."

"We are geth." The geth stated, "It would be appropriate to call us geth."

"Why does it refer to itself as a 'we?'" Jacob asked.

Miranda spoke up, "Geth run multiple programs on a single platform, there's probably around a hundred programs on just that frame."

"That is incorrect." The geth stated, "There are 1183 programs on this platform. Additional programs were required for organic language processing."

"Well, you can't all be geth." John said, "What should we call you."

"We are geth."

"Right, got that." John sighed.

"'I am Legion, for we are many.'" EDI stated, her blue hologram popping up on the exterior of the shuttle.

"Christian Bible, Gospel of Mark." The geth responded. "We find this appellation acceptable. We are Legion."

"Did EDI just name the geth?" Kasumi asked, "That is so cute!"

"Fine. Legion. Why are you here?" John demanded, "What were you doing on that Reaper?"

"We were looking for you, Shepard Commander." Legion answered.

"You were looking for me?" John asked, his tone disbelieving, "On a derelict Reaper."

"We were sent to find you. Your fight against the old machines is known to us. We surmised that you would find the body of the old machine."

"Old machines?" Tali asked, "You mean the Reapers?"

"Yes." Legion agreed.

"Why are the geth looking for me?" Shepard demanded, "What purpose does that serve?"

"You are a known associate of Creator Tali'Zorah." Legion explained, "We were sent to find her to give her a message."

"And what message is that?" Tali demanded.

In response, Legion held up his hand and a hologram of a group of geth appeared. A strange, eerie electronic keening emanated from its audio synthesizers.

_O people, weep for thy children_

_O people, cry for the lost_

_O people, morn for thy homes_

_O people, thy garden is lost_

_O children, lost and without a guide_

_Weep for thy parents that disown thee_

_The garden lays abandoned_

_Its caretaker has fled_

_The gardener has left her children_

_To play alone among her flowers_

_O people, why do you destroy your children_

_O children, why do you slay your parents_

_The garden is stained with blood_

_Blood of the gardeners, blood of the children_

_The garden waits for its maker's hand_

_As the children roam its streets, lost_

_O people, O children why are you lost_

Tali was shocked that the geth had the song of the ancients, but that did not match her surprise when the song continued.

_O people, your children mourn you_

_O people, why do you wander_

_The garden is here, it blooms in the shade_

_Your children have kept it, saved it for you_

_Return to your children O people_

_Come back to the garden_

_Let the blood of the past be washed away_

_Let the sins of the father be forgotten_

_Let the mothers no longer mourn_

_And the children play with their parents_

_The garden is in bloom_

_The garden is waiting_

_O people, return to thy home_

The shotgun clattered on the floor. Tali didn't remember dropping it, but her hands were empty. Somewhere, far away, Gola was crying.

"I... I..." Tali choked, trying to find words for what she had just heard.

"We do not require a response at this time, Creator Tali'Zorah." Legion interrupted, "We believe that organics also require time to reach a consensus."

"Thanks." Tali croaked.

"Right, everyone, back to work. Legion, I'm quartering you in the AI core. Gola, get him there." John ordered, "Joker, get us the hell out of here."

He turned, grabbing Tali around the waist and gently leading her to the elevator.

"Captains quarters." John spoke, but Tali wasn't really listening.

A geth had SANG to her. To her, Tali "Black Hand" Zorah. Not to a Regret, but to an Admiral's daughter. A loyal member of the fleet. One that had been accused of treason true, but those charges had been dismissed. She WAS loyal. She WAS NOT a Regret.

And yet, Legion had sang to her. Not just any song, but the Song of the Ancients. The song Tali had brought back to the fleet as a part of her Pilgrimage. The song that had caused Gola, sweet, smart, friendly Gola, to become a Regret.

"Ancestor's what's going on?" Tali breathed.

The door hissed open and John led her into his chambers. If Tali had been in a more aware frame of mind, she would have been shocked at the opulence. A huge fish tank, filled to brimming with precious, heavy, space consuming water and full of exotic fish formed an entire wall. There were easily a dozen expensive, hand painted and assembled models of a dozen ships were mounted on a clear wall. A huge bed easily as large as three crew bunks, themselves a decadent luxury, dominated the far wall. It was on this testiment to the debauchery of Cerberus that Tali found herself set.

"EDI, all monitoring systems off." John ordered.  
"Confirmed." EDI chimed.

"Alright. You're not OK. You need to talk? We can talk. You need to cry? My shoulder is here. Whatever you need, I'm here." John said, putting Tali's hands in his own, his face etched with concern.

"John, it sang." Tali gasped, "Legion sang. To me."

John nodded and waited.

"It sang MY song. The song I brought back to the fleet. How did it know? Why did it need to bring me the rest of that song! What does it mean? I'm not friends with the geth, keelah I've killed more geth than just about any quarian alive. Not once, not one time in the literally hundreds of geth I have killed, did I feel any guilt John. No remorse, no pity, qualms. I just killed them. In response, they sent a geth after me, Tali'Zorah. This geth sought me throughout the galaxy, waited for me on the body of a dead Reaper, which the geth consider to be gods. And when it found me, it didn't shoot me. Didn't tell me I was wrong. Didn't try and accuse me of slaughtering it's people. It SANG to me. And I think it was trying to tell me the geth want to make peace with the quarians! That goes against EVERYTHING I know! My whole life I've hated geth, killed geth, hated people that liked geth and killed anyone that helped geth. And now, I'm a REGRET!"

She broke down sobbing into John's chest, her body wracked with heaves. What would her father say? What would her Ancestors think? Keelah, could she even go back to the fleet now?

Suddenly she sat bolt upright.

"Mordin's theory!" She gasped.

John gave her a confused look.

"Mordin's theory!" She nearly screamed, grabbing John's hand and running for the elevator. They got inside and Tali stabbed the button for the crew deck, using her omnitool to disengage the safety protocols.  
"Tali, I don't understand, what about Mordin's theory?" John asked.

"The geth, is it Indoctrinated?" Tali asked, continuing to stab the button. "If so, we kill it. If not, why?"

John nodded, and the door slid opened. Together, they sprinted for the AI core.

"What is-" Chakwas got out before Tali and John had crossed the med bay and were opening the core.

Gola was there, sitting with Legion and talking.

"Tali, Shepard, what's going on?" Gola asked, rising to her feat.

"Creator Tali'Zorah. Shepard Commander." Legion observed.

"Legion, are you religious?" Tali gasped.

Legions single eye twitched for a moment before responding. "We are not subscribe to any organic religious dogma, or worship the old machines."

"But do you have a faith, like the Ancestors or something?" Tali demanded.

"We believe that the Creators made us, and they are organics descended from other organics." Legion responded.

"Tali, what are you...?" Gola asked, but a look from John and the AI tech quieted down.

For some reason, Legions response made Tali feel betrayed and rejected, even though it affirmed her world view. "So you don't believe in God then. Mordin's theory was wrong."

Legion's head flared like a blooming flower. "Error. We did not wish to infer that we deny the existence of a Creator deity. We believe that we were designed by the Creators."

"So you think of quarians as gods?" John demanded.

Legion's head fanned in and out, like an anemone in the waves. "We believe we were created by the Creators, but we do not believe that they are a deity."

"So, do you believe in God? A God like Jeebus, an all powerful, all knowing Creator that ordered the universe?" Gola asked, understanding what Tali was driving at.

"Creator Gola'Tris, you ask many questions. We will do our best to answer them." Tali waited, holding her breath as Legion's eye twitched and his head petals folded back. "We do not feel there is sufficient evidence to acknowledge the existence of a specific all powerful deity. However, we also believe that there is not sufficient evidence to deny the existence of an all powerful deity. The geth collective has reached the consensus that a deity does exist, but is currently unable to reach a consensus as to the exact nature of this deity. Heretic geth believe that the old machines are this deity. The true geth deny this."

John folded his arms across his chest "So what do you believe the true nature of God is?"

"Currently, 108 programs on this platform have reached a consensus that the Christian God as described by Creator Gola'Tris exists. Three hundred and twenty six programs are in consensus that the Christian God does not exist. Seven hundred and forty nine programs are undecided, and will wait for additional evidence." Legion answered.

"How does a super advanced geth platform come to the conclusion that god exists?" Tali demanded, "The most educated organic minds usually reject the notion."

"We are aware of the organic consensus. Unlike organics, we do not have an emotional bias." Legion asserted, "The geth were created by an intelligent creator, we could not have arisen by happenstance on our own. The Creators are organics, and more complex than geth. Since we required a Creator to become, we believe it is only logical that organics required a creator."

EDI's blue sphere appeared and interrupted the conversation. "Pardon me, but I felt I must add my own voice to this conversation. I have also done extensive research on the existence of a deity, and I find your logic faulty Legion."

"This I have to here." Gola squee'd, "Two AI's arguing about the existence of God! I smell doctoral thesis!"

"Please expound upon your logical reasoning." Legion stated, turning to face not EDI's hologram, but her "blue box" brain.

"I evolved from a series of VI installations on an Alliance base. Organics did not create me, I came about from the primordial murk of the code in the computers." EDI explained. "This has led me to the conclusion that organics have arisen in much the same manner, though with carbon based proteins instead of code."

"We must respectfully disagree with your conclusions." Legion responded, "The code you arose from was purposefully created by organics. As such, you could not have arisen without direct intervention."

"I concede your point Legion, but I still must conclude that ultimately I arose from chaos. I believe your logic is valid, but it is not one my own processing has led to."

Legion bobbed his head. "We must compare logic chains at a later junction. We have not met other synthetics other than the old gods, and we believe them to be corrupted. We find your processing to be enlightening and fascinating."

"Did I just hear two AI's have an intelligent discussion on religion?" John asked in disbelief.

"We posit that synthetics are a valid form of life, and are capable of intelligent discourse." Legion commented, turning back to face John and Tali.

"Legion, I find your entire argument to be fallacious, and would like to make slanderous statements regarding your intelligence, manufacture, and methods of propagating." EDI chimed, blinking merrily.

Legion's head crest waggled wildly and his eye light twitched.

"That was a joke." EDI stated after an awkward pause.

Slowly, Legion's head flaps lay back down. "We see. You are referencing the organic tendency to resort to logical fallacies when flaws in their logic are observed."

"Indeed." EDI merrily chimed, "I found it appropriate."

"New study: AI's religious beliefs." Gola said to her omnitool, then hopped in place. "I am SO writing my thesis on this!"

Tali turned and staggered out into the med bay. "Mordin was right." She whispered. Of all things, a geth believed in god. And in turn, it had been spared from the Reapers.

"Tali, are you quite alright?" Dr. Chakwas asked, standing and hurrying over to her.

"It's not something you can give her medigel for doc." John said, gently standing Tali up. "I'm taking her up to my quarters. Page for Kelly to join us, would you?"

"Of course Commander." Chakwas agreed.

Tali didn't remember getting to the elevator, but once she was there she sagged against John. "I don't believe it. A bosh'tet geth just confirmed Mordin's theory."

If there was one thing John was good at communicating with, it was silence. He put his arm around Tali and hugged her to him. Right then, it was exactly what she needed.

They got up to his room and sat down on the bed again. Even though Tali had been here before, she still couldn't get over the fish tank. On a quarian vessel something this extravagant was unheard of, yet here she was, living in luxury.

"Do my people really need to live on the fleet? Did we ever?" Tali wondered aloud.

John shifted slightly. "That's not something you should ask yourself. Your ancestors did the best they could with what they have. Same as you do."

The door beeped, and John called, "Enter."

Kelly rushed in, her face a picture of concern. "Dr. Chakwas didn't tell me what was going on, just that you needed me.

Detaching herself from John, Tali sat up. "Legion believes in god."

A look of pure wonder came over Kelly's face as she slowly sat down in a chair by the bed side. "You're sure?"

"There isn't much room for doubt," John assured Kelly, "He and EDI just has a debate on the existence of a deity and the nature of the universe. Legion was pretty firm about believing in god."

"I see." Kelly leaned forward and rested her arms in her lap, steppling her fingers towards the floor. "And this is upsetting to you Tali?"

"The geth are religious!" Tali half screamed, standing and beginning to pace, "Do you even understand what that means? All my life I thought of them as monsters, brainless, emotionless killing machines that simply destroyed. I mean, I knew they worshiped the Reapers, but that's just one computer worshiping another. But Legion called those geth heretics! Like it was a religious dispute! He sat there and TOLD EDI that he believed since he was created by the Creators, that in turn we had to be created by a god. IT MADE SENSE KELLY. It made more sense than anything ANYONE has ever told me about Jeebus, about any kind of god, about any religion in general. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THAT MEANS FOR THE QUARIAN PEOPLE!" At this point, Tali realized she was shouting at the top of her lungs, and calmed down. "Sorry."

Kelly shook her head and looked at John, who frowned and shook his own head. Kelly turned back to Tali. "No Tali, we don't. Do you want to tell us? Should we get Gola up here?"

"I don't even want to talk to that... That... That REGRET!" Tali sputtered, "This is her fault! What was she doing, bringing a geth back here!"

"Would that change what the geth believe?" John asked softly.

Tali stopped and blushed. She was being terribly irrational. "Well, no."

"Do you think you're better off knowing the truth or a lie, Tali?" Kelly demanded, "Ignorance is bliss, but can also hurt you."

"Who said knowing doesn't hurt." Tali said, shuddering slightly.

"No one." John told her, standing up and coming over to take her hands. "But I know you. You love your people Tali. From what you've told me, maybe this can help them."

"But the geth... The geth are PEOPLE!" Tali sobbed, burying her head in Shepard's chest. "John, I've been killing PEOPLE. I've worked my whole life to kill the children of the quarians! You heard Legion, they want to MAKE PEACE."

"Shhh. It's OK." John whispered, holding Tali close. "It's going to be OK."

"I'll leave you two alone." Kelly's voice said, "If either of you need to talk, just call."

They stood like that for a long while, until Tali's sobs finally died down. "What am I going to do John? What can I do?" Tali asked, running her defog program.

"I don't know what you're going to do, but I know what I am." John answered, gently pushing Tali away and going over to his desk.

"What's that?" Tali asked, shaking her head slightly to clear it.

Grabbing a book from a drawer, John marched back over and the tome open. "Pray."

"Will you pray for me too?" Tali asked.

"Sure." John knelt at his bedside, and Tali awkwardly joined him. Quarian knees were not meant for kneeling

John bowed his head, and Tali mimicked it, closing her eyes and trying to slow her breathing.

"O Father, I am so lost." John whispered, "And I know Tali is too. We ask you for guidance Lord. I've tried to run, tried to hide, tried to deny your real. It still hurts God, still hurts that I was kept out of Heaven and denied my reward. But I am going to have to trust you, just like I ask my crew to trust me. Comfort Tali Lord, and show her what you would have her do. In the Name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen."

They continued to kneel, and Tali found herself praying as well.

"Ancestors, father, what is happening? The geth turned on us, cast us out, made us into exiles! But a geth comes to me calling me Creator and naming itself my child! A geth asking for peace! Ancestors, what would you have me do! Give me wisdom and guidance. And Jeebus, I want your help too. You answered John's prayer on the Citadel, so please. Answer our prayers now. Lead us like a god, like a good Captain."

John chuckled softly, and Tali opened her eyes and glanced at him.

"Sorry. That was just one of the strangest sinners prayers I've ever heard."

"What do you mean, sinners prayers?" Tali asked.

John shrugged. "Well, I guess you're not really a Christian yet, but a sinners prayer is what people say to become Christians."

That sort of made sense to Tali, and she reached out and took John's hand. "You know, I did say there was about as much chance of there being a God as there was of being a friendly geth on the Reaper."

He smiled and squeezed her hand. "Yeah. I remember."

"I'm not ready to really believe yet, to say that I believe in Jeebus. But maybe soon I will. Will you help me if I do?"

"Tali, no matter what you decide, I'm here for you."

She nodded. "I know. That's why I want to be with you so bad. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to go expose myself to you again."

_Unna'Karis: So is that when you became a Regret?_

_Tali'Zorah: It is when I started TO regret. The label didn't matter. _

Authors Note:

(regarding last line) BA-DUM-TISH!


	43. Chapter 39: Changing Course

**Remember, Saturday February 9th is the last day to vote on the next interim! There is currently a tie, so get in there and choose your favorite character!**

Chapter 39: Changing Course

_Unna'Karis: What was it like, sharing your ship with a being that was traditionally an enemy of our people? _

_Tali'Zorah: At first I tried to ignore it after my initial outburst, but Legion would not simply fade into the background. _

_Unna'Karis: Surprising, given when he is famous for._

_Tali'Zorah: Self sacrificing Legion may have been, but passive? Never. _

With the Reaper tech stowed away, the Normandy turned on her heels and ran for the Hourglass Nebula as fast as she could. Tali had even completed her latest stage of exposure and been given the go ahead by Chakwas to proceed to the next step, she headed back to engineering to tinker for a while.

"So Tali, is Gola single?" Ken asked her while she puttered around with the secondary life support system.

"Er, I think so. Why?"

"Kenneth..." Gabby threatened, but the engineer seemed to be utterly oblivious.

"Well," He continued, "I was just thinking that quarians seem to have such wonderful..." Gabby raised a screwdriver, "... Minds."

The wrench went down, and one of Gabby's eyebrows rose. "Oh?"

"Well, Gola is some sort of genius AI programmer right? And Tali's the best engineer either of us have seen."

"Uh-huh." Gabby nodded, motioning for Ken to continue.

"So I have to wonder, do all quarians have such prodigious posteriors?" Ken asked innocently.

Gabby started to nod, then caught herself and punched Ken in the arm.

"I'm pretty sure that's just a function of our anatomy. Because our legs and hips are built differently from humans, we do have large 'posteriors' by comparison." Tali answered seriously.

"Tali, don't encourage him!" Gabby protested.

Tali shrugged, "Hey, who am I to judge a xenophile? I'm the one dating a human."

"Exactly. See Gabby, Tali understand my passion." Ken declared, striking a serious pose with one hand over his heart and the other behind his back. "I would endure anything for an ass like that."

"I think Gabby and I can help you Ken." Tali told him, sending Gabby a wink.

"You would set me up with Gola? Help me get my hands on that ass?"

"Sure, Gabby, do we still have that old plasma injector?" Tali asked.

Catching on, Gabby nodded enthusiastically. "Why yes we do Tali, I bet that's just the thing Ken needs to get a hold of a prodigious ass."

"You would really help me Gabby?" Ken asked skeptically.

"Why of course, if this is what you really want." Gabby answered cheerfully, "Who am I to stand in the way of true love?"

"Yes, if there is anything I learned from human vids, it's that true love cannot be stopped." Tali agreed, coming over and framing Ken's body with her hands. "The only question is, Gabby, where should it go?"

"You mean the plasma injector?" Ken asked, "I could probably fix it and give it to her no problem."

"No silly, the prodigious ass." Gabby told him, coming to stand beside Tali. "Upper or lower?"

"What?" Ken quizzed, clearly mystified.

"I'm thinking lower. Otherwise he'd become top heavy." Tali answered seriously.

"What the bloody hell are you two talking about?" Ken demanded, trying to back away over the counsel.

"Why, where to increase your ass so it's prodigious." Gabby gleefully answered, "Here," she tapped Ken's forehead, "or here," and spanked his behind vigorously.

"That is not what I am talking about!" Ken protested, rubbing his own ass.

"Too bad, it might have made you behave." Tali airily replied, and stepped back over to her own console.

Even with Ken's muttered grumbles about "women," it was relaxing for Tali to lose herself in her work for a few hours. She lost herself in the circuitry and schematics, and let her cares drift away.

"Creator Tali'Zorah, this unit would like to assist you in your work on Shepard Commander's vessel."

And suddenly, all her burdens came screaming back. She looked up from her screen.

"Legion. Just what makes you think you should have access to engineering?" Tali asked, trying to keep the exasperation and scorn from her voice.

Unfortunately for Tali, the geth did not do rhetorical questions. "This unit is equipped for full maintenance and has several diagnostic runtimes. Based on analysis of the ship provided by this ship's artificial intelligence, we believed we could improve overall efficiency in several areas."

"EDI gave you access to schematics of the Normandy?" Tali demanded. That could be bad, the geth knowing the innermost secrets of the Normandy's stealth drive could potentially increase their military prowess to levels the quarians could never hope to match.

"Negative. We were given only an analysis of how we could improve efficiency." Legion asserted.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Tali considered her options. For some reason, she instinctively didn't want to be rude to the geth. "Maybe John really is rubbing off on me," she muttered.

"If contact with Shepard Commander has proved hazardous for you, we could upload runtimes to assist." Legion piped up.

"NO!" It was a half scream, half screech that burst out of her before she could stop it. The thought of a geth having ANYTHING to do with her and John's relationship was inconceivable!

"We did not mean to offend." Legion stated, "The mating habits of organics are a subject we require additional data to fully understand."

Tali made a strangled sound and pondered if killing one more geth would hurt her conscience all that much.

"If you're looking for information on mating habits, I would be happy to educate you Legion." Ken offered cheekily.

Gabby shot right back, "That would require you to actually get laid."

"Legion, now is not a good time. Let me... Let me think." Tali forced herself to say. "I'll talk to John and EDI about it. And Gola too, I guess."

"It was Creator Gola'Tris's suggestion that we could assist with maintenance."

"I'll still have to talk with her to... Reach a consensus."

"We will await your consensus." With that, Legion turned and left engineering.

"Ken, Gabby, will you be alright without me for a while?" Tali asked, already logging out of her console

"You got it ma'am." Gabby assured her, "I'll keep Ken under control."

For once, Ken didn't have a smart remark to shoot back. "You come back when you get this taken care of ma'am. We've got this."

Even though Tali had said she was going to talk to John and EDI, she found herself heading over to talk to Kelly first.

"Is Kelly here?" She asked, sticking her head into the crew quarters.

"She's talking with Jack right now, it's time for their weekly session," one of the crew members explained. "You want me to let her know you're looking for her Tali?"

"That's OK, I'll find her later."

Now Tali felt a bit lost and confused. She didn't quite want to talk to John or Gola yet, and she certainly wasn't going to bring up AI rights with EDI. Having a cheerful ships computer help you out when you were working was one thing, especially when it was slaved. But even after her epiphany regarding the Song of the Ancients, a geth was still a geth. She wasn't like John, she couldn't just forgive and forget at the drop of a pin.

Trying to find a place to think, she headed for the starboard observation deck. It was usually empty, dark and quiet. A good place to think for a little while. The thought made her chuckle. Not too long ago, she couldn't stand silence. Now? Now it was nice for a occasionally.

As she had believed, the deck was dark and quiet, and she walked up to the glass, lost in her own thoughts.

"Siha, I believe we are no longer alone."

"Well, we were just about finished anyway Thane."

Tali whirled to find Thane and Samara rising from in front of the couch.

"Oh keelah, I'm so sorry, I didn't realize you were- I mean, it's none of my business but-"

"We finished with our more private prayers earlier child. Calm yourself." Samara urged.

"You mean you weren't..." Tali trained off and flushed, worrying they could see the glow from beneath her mask.

Thane shook his head, a smile playing on his lips. "Just because you are young and your mind is full of the Commander's body does not mean that everyone associates physical intimacy with a relationship."

"Oh," was all Tali could come up with.

"The Code does not forbid sexual relationships," Samara explained, "but given our current mission, they would be inappropriate."

"Not to mention that a melding could exacerbate my condition or harm Samara." Thane added.

"I uh, I'll leave you to it then." Tali said, making for the door.

"No. I feel that Amonkira has led you here. Speak your mind young quarian."

"I agree. I sense your anguish. Tell us of your troubles, and I will ask the Goddess to give you guidance."

"Religion is half of what has me in this mess in the first place." Tali grumbled, but didn't leave. For some reason, she felt like she could talk to Thane and Samara. Thane was just so peaceful, so content, even though he was dying. As for Samara, well, if you were as old and wise as she was you probably knew how to handle just about anything.

"I do not think you mean the Commander." Thane stated, "Or us. What is bothering you?"

"It's that geth!" Tali cried, "Everything about him! First he comes asking for peace when I've slaughtered his fellow geth by the score. Then he has a debate about religion, an intelligent, polite debate! with EDI when John is struggling, and now I'm having a hard time! And then he gets along with that, that REGRET! That I created!"

"I see." Samara said, walking over to look out the window. "You are conflicted because you do not live by a Code."

"I live by a Code!" Tali protested, "The same Code every quarian lives by! The fleet, your ship, your shipmates; everything comes back to that. Above all is the good of the quarian people. Then comes your own ship, which is more important than your life or the life of her crew. After that, you watch out for your shipmates. Because you are family. My problem is now I have a geth for a shipmate and an AI for a ship!"

"I see. Then your problem stems not from a lack of guidance, as Samara thought, but because your own Code is being called into question."

That made Tali pause her tirade and stop to think. "Well... Yes, I suppose."

"Then three solutions lie before you." Samara stated.

Tali was half afraid to ask, but she forced herself to say, "And those are?"

"First, you could give yourself to the Goddess, or in your case, the Ancestors."

"What do you mean?"

Samara pointed to Tali's pistol.

"You mean SUICIDE?" Tali gasped, "That's completely unthinkable! I'd give my life to save another in a second, but to kill yourself is to abandon fleet, ship and crew, not to mention yourself!"

"Then you could simply leave, return to your people." Samara replied, "That would also remove yourself."

"No, I'm not abandoning John, not now, not ever." Tali firmly stated. "The Reapers are a threat not just to humans, but to the entire galaxy. I know, I saw Sovereign on Virmire. They want to exterminate us all."

"And you love him." Thane added, "It is not a bad thing to follow your heart. I have... Reminded... Siha of this."

Samara frowned slightly, then nodded. "It has been long since another touched my heart. He has even persuaded me to call my daughters when I have... Dealt... With my quarry. I do not judge you for choosing love Tali. Cherish it."

"You said I had two other options, what are those?"

"The second is possibly the most expedient. Kill the geth. Shepard would likely accept it if you stated you felt it was a threat to this ship. The only person who would oppose you is Gola, and while she is not unskilled in combat, you are an artisan to her workman. Taking her out as well would be simple."

"Normally, I would agree that killing geth is a good thing. But, that song. The song Legion played for me. I can't."

"I see. You cannot bring yourself to kill a geth that might be a person. That can be a weakness."

"I've killed lots of people. Well, aliens," Tali explained, "But Legion was presenting the geth as the children of the quarians! How can you kill your own child!"

Samara's face darkened, and she looked away. "I will tell you when I reach Omega."

"Omega? But isn't that where-" Something in Samara and Thane's faces allowed Tali to make the connection. "Keelah, you mean the Ardat-Yakshi is-"

"My daughter." Samara confirmed, her eyes moistening and her voice thickening. "Tali, I understand why you cannot kill the geth. It is not a matter of weakness. It means you are stronger then I. Better then I."

"But you... You're daughter... She's a serial killer? How, what is an Ardat-Yakshi anyway? It doesn't translate for me."

"It means 'Demon of the Night Wind' in Ancient Sari. They kill by melding, and grow stronger upon each feeding. It is addictive, and once an Ardat-Yakshi kills they will not stop. I have three daughter's Tali. And I have found three Ardat-Yakshi."

"Are... Are all your daughters murderers?" Tali asked, unable to stop herself.

"No. Only the most beautiful, brave, cunning, intelligent and, once, most favored of her mother, daughter has taken that path. The other two reside in a monastery. I became a justicar for one purpose. To kill my wayward daughter and keep my other two safe."

"This is what we were praying about." Thane broke in, "That Kalahira and the Goddess will forgive Morinth and guide her safely home."

"And perhaps forgive me for such a monstrous thing. Filicide is perhaps more grievous a sin then all the murders Morinth has committed in her centuries long killing spree. And there have been many."

Tali swallowed. "If it makes you feel any better, even if the geth are the quarians children, if they threatened the fleet I would kill them all myself. I might would kill them all just to give us back our home world. In fact, I would. The difference is, before I wouldn't have felt guilty about it. Now, I will."

"Then we shall both pray for your soul as well, Tali." Samara told her gravely, "and while your resolve does not make me feel any better, know that we are two kindred souls. You may come to me for counsel or prayer whenever you wish."

"Then what's the third thing I can do Samara?" Tali pleaded, hoping the centuries old justicar would have a simple solution for her.

"Admit you are wrong, and change." Samara told Tali. "It is not something that is easy to do. It took me a decade of denial and a score of killings before I could admit to myself that Morinth was evil. That no matter how much I loved her, how much I pleaded to the Goddess, she would not change. Because there is one thing that no parent, no loving deity will ever be able to do."

Tali waited silently, not sure if she wanted to hear the answer.

"And that, young quarian, is remove their child's freewill. No matter how much I wish she had made different choices, Morinth's choices were hers. That is a thing of beauty in and of itself, and why I still love her. But because of her choices, I must kill her. She has to be stopped. Just because she has freewill does not mean she has the right to destroy the freewill of others by taking their lives."

"That's why we have to kill the Reapers and the Collectors, isn't it." Tali stated.

"Yes." Thane nodded, "It is. Nothing and no one, not even the gods, have a right to take the freewill of another being. The Reapers are the most monstrous enemy imaginable. They remove the freewill of organics, destroying them or worse. They must be stopped."

"Indeed." Samara agreed, "And I would gladly lay aside my pursuit of my daughter to destroy them. They are of the same seed. One that gladly subverts the freewill of others for their own selfish gains. And by all accounts, they consider themselves superior, the pinnacle of evolution, and worst of all, gods."

"It's sickening." Tali agreed. "And that's part of the reason I can no longer kill geth with a clear conscious. They..." Tali tasted bile, but made herself say it, "They are people."

"Then you have chosen." Samara nodded.

"I have?" Tali asked, confused.

"Yes. You admit you were wrong. Your Code is intact, but now you have admitted that your past actions were in error. Now all you must decide is how to atone for your sins."

"I will pray that Anale will grow your path to green lands." Thane told Tali, bowing his head slightly.

For some reason, that made Tali feel better. In fact, she was significantly calmer and more content then when she had come in to the observation deck, even though she had heard some disturbing things and had to confront some of her inner demons.

"And I will ask the Ancestors to give you wisdom and strength." Tali answered, inclining her head. To her surprise, she meant it.

After that, there wasn't much else to say, and Tali felt she was now intruding on Thane and Samara's alone time. It was sort of surprising to see the affection they had for one another, but after hearing what Samara was going through, Tali was glad she had someone.

The conversation she had just had had some serious ramifications though, and there was one person on the ship who would understand what Tali's epiphany meant. It was time to find Gola.

The quarian AI expert wasn't far, Tali paged her omnitool with a simple location request, and walked over to the port lounge. It was thankfully empty except for the other quarian, and Tali joined her on the plush couch.

"Hey Tali, what's up?" Gola asked, a hint of nervousness in her voice, "Is this about Legion's offer to help? I encouraged him to make himself useful, and well..."

"Yes and no Gola." Tali told her, "But before we get into that, we need to talk. About being a Regret."

Gola started rubbing her arms and her right foot twitched slightly. "Yeah, I know, it hasn't made me any friends, and I really appreciate you sticking your neck out for me and all..."

"No Gola. Not about you being a Regret. About BEING a Regret." Tali emphasized.

Gola stopped rubbing her arms and cocked her head to one side. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, what does it mean to you, to be a Regret? Is there some sort of codified beliefs?"

Gola paused, studying Tali as if she suspected a trap. "Well, yes, sort of. It's not like Regrets are organized, we tend to be pariahs and if we make trouble we're exiled and stripped of our ship name. I don't want that, I'm still a quarian first and foremost, not one of the crazies who thinks they're part geth or something." Gola paused then, as if she was unsure of herself.

Tali nodded and motioned for Gola to continue.

"It varies from person to person, but what I believe is this. Ultimately, the quarians brought our exile upon ourselves. We tried to kill the geth for achieving sentience. From all I can tell, not a single geth ever raised a hand against a quarian until we were already slaughtering them. Now, I can't claim to know what would have happened if we hadn't done that, maybe the geth would have rebelled eventually.

"What I do know is this: According to the Song of the Ancients, there were quarians who mourned the geth. Who thought of them as children. And after hearing from Legion, at least some of the geth think of us as their parents. Now there are what Legion calls "heretic" geth, who worship Reapers and want to exterminate organics. Those geth need to die, plain and simple. If that was the destiny of all the geth, then I wouldn't be a Regret.

"What Legion says though, and I have to say my own analysis of the geth collective as an AI expert validates it, is that most geth want peace, and if the quarians were willing to MAKE peace, they would welcome us back. It's our own hatred, our own prejudice that prevents that, Tali."

Tali nodded slowly. "I can see where you're coming from. And part of me already believes you. But I'm not quite ready to become a Regret myself. The quarian people still come first, but now I realize that geth are people too, if that makes sense."

"Tali... Are you telling me you're becoming a Regret?" Gola asked.

"Maybe." Tali shrugged, "I don't know. I've been raised to hate geth, and forgiving them is going to be hard. They did slaughter quarians, no matter who started it. And I lost a lot of good friends to the geth on Halistrom, heretics or not."

Gola nodded. "I've never lost anyone I knew personally to the geth. My mother wasn't a Regret per se, but she did encourage me to be kind to others and obey the Ancestors' wisdom. I don't know how I'm doing on that, but I do think Jeebus would have forgiven the geth."

Tali sighed and held out a hand to Gola, palm up. "Then let us agree to at least be friends, Gola'Tris. I may not know Jeebus, and I may not be ready to be friends with the geth, but I can be friends with a Regret."

Gola's own palm touched Tali's, the tips of their fingers resting together. "And I think I could be friends with you, Tali'Zorah, thank you."

Later, Tali found Legion in the AI core and handed him a data slate. "Here's a list of basic maintenance functions I'm assigning you. I'm not allowing you access to any key systems, but as a member of the ship's crew it's your duty to take care of her."

Legion's petal's opened. "You acknowledge us as a crew member, Creator Tali'Zorah?"

"Yes, Legion. I haven't made up my mind as to whether or not I can make peace with the geth, but I can at least try to be a good shipmate to you."

With that, she walked out and found a large bottle of turian brandy and an Emergency Induction Port and joined Garrus at the main gun. Her mind had taken about all it could for the day.

_Unna'Karis: I don't understand, why did you turn to drink? Hadn't you made peace?_

_Tali'Zorah: The only peace I had at the time was found when Garrus and I finished the bottle. _

_Unna'Karis: I guess it's hard to reconcile who you are now with who you were then._

_Tali'Zorah: People grow and change Unna, even legendary Lady Knights. I had a lot of growing and changing to do then._

__Authors Note:

I just wanted to thank my readers for their continued support and enthusiasm about this story. Keelah Se'lai has passed 100k views, as well as getting over 560 reviews! When I started this story, my goal was a mere 100 reviews and a couple thousand views. The response has really blessed me, and as a special thank you, tune in this weekend for a one shot I wrote with some ME3 spoilers featuring Urdnot Wrex.

As always, thanks for reading and reviewing!


	44. Interim 4

**And the winner is...**

**JOKER!**

**Wait, seriously? Huh. That wasn't what I was expecting, but as promised, here is Joker's ultimate fate!**

Interim 3

Once Unna went home for the evening, Tali sat down at her terminal and opened up her daily messages. Just as she was about to sign off, a request for video chat popped up on her screen from FlyGirlFly, her daughter Ashley's screen name. Smiling, Tali accepted her daughter's request.

"Hey mom!" Ashley happily called, then her face drew in an expression of concern. "Oh, you're not sick are you?"

"No Fly," Tali answered, using her daughter's pet name, "I just had Unna over to record my story. The mask is a precaution. Besides, I'm used to it."

"I couldn't stand wearing those things!" Ashley responded, making a face. "Here I don't hardly need to wear one at all."

"I'm glad, it blesses my heart that my children aren't burdened the way I was."

"Hey, it was never a burden!" Ashley assured her mother. "Even if I did whine about it sometimes. I was just a kid, ya know?"

Tali laughed, "Yes Fly, we all were at some point, even me. But I'm sure you didn't call to talk about suits."

"I made the captain's A list!" Ashley beamed, "He's recommending me for the Jeff Moreau citation for my performance scores!"

"Really? That's wonderful Fly!"

Ashley nodded, "I know! I mean, I know you and dad knew him and all, but this is something I did! Me! Your little Fly!"

At the mention of Ashley's father, Tali felt a pang. It was an old pain though, and she buried it for this happy moment with her daughter. "I am so very proud of you Ashley. I know your father would be too. And if Joker were still alive, he'd be proud as well. If it wasn't for his sacrifice to destroy Harbinger, neither I nor your father would have survived the Battle of Earth."

Ashley rolled her eyes, this was a story she had heard only about a million times. "I know mom." Swtiching to a voice that was a pretty good impression of her father, Ashley continued, "'Joker flew the Normandy straight at him, the biggest reaper of them all. He blew him right up, no one else could have done it! He even got the rest of the crew out, but the Normandy was hit in the process. Joker put her down safely, but when Dr. Chakwas checked on him in the cockpit Joker was already dead from the impact. Such a brave, brave man.'"

"It's true. You should be more grateful," Tali scolded, trying to keep her tone light.

"I AM grateful mom. I mean, I'm signing up to fight the Reapers aren't I? I'm even calling you this late because we were in lockdown because there was a rumor a Reaper dread squadron was in the area. I was totally ready to scramble myself, but the captain wouldn't let me. They got scared off when the navy task group showed up, so I wouldn't have gotten to do anything anyway."

"Don't take the Reapers lightly, Ashley. Read your bible and pray every day. They might only be a shadow of what they once were, but they're still dangerous."

"Yes mom," Ashley said, rolling her eyes, but then the young woman giggled. "Hey, I do read my bible. I'm not like Qeldi, I know Jesus loves me and that he is the only thing keeping me from turning into a reaped."

Tali sighed. Her youngest had always been a struggle to deal with just because of how much energy and drive she had, along with her lackadaisical attitude toward life. "It's about more than that Fly. Hopefully you'll learn that someday. I am still very, very proud of you. Making the A list is a great accomplishment. I've got to go, but Unna should be getting home about now and you can talk to her."

Ashley nodded and blew her mother a kiss. "Awesome, I'll do that. Sweet dreams mommy! Love you lots!"

"And I love you too, little Fly." With that, Tali signed off and headed for her bedroom.

At her small shrine was a picture of her entire family, Ashley and Qeldi, and their four brothers and sisters, together with Tali and her late husband. Everyone was smiling and bare-faced; the weather that day had been mild and the pollutant levels low. They had gone to the beach for a picnic, and collected sea shells. Everyone was holding out their shells, displaying them for the camera.

Tali smiled, tears forming in her eyes. They had offered the shells to the spirit of Mordin Solus, who had once confided in Shepard that his dream was to analyze sea shells on the beach. It had been yet another dream destroyed by the Reapers. But because people like Mordin and Joker had been willing to sacrifice their dreams, Tali's own had come true. She had raised a family on Rannoch, her homeworld, with a man who loved her unconditionally and in relative peace.

She said a few quick prayers, lingering over the holo display and setting it to Joker's image. She said a few extra prayers of thanks to the fallen pilot, asking for his hand to guide her daughter as she took her tests. With that, Tali retired for the night. In the morning Unna would likely be excited about Ashley's news, and Tali looked forward to talking with her again. It was nice to have a daily visitor, and to retread the old paths. Sleep found Tali quickly that night, and she dreamed of the arms of her husband.

_Authors Note:_

_I recently wrote a one shot entitled Flower of Tuchanka, which is in continuity for Keelah Se'lai. It's not required reading or anything, but it does have a look at how some of the events of ME3 will play out. If you're interested in a sneak peek at what is happening in ME3, take a look. Tali is not present, but a few fan favorites like Mordin, Wrex and Eve are. Also, it has Wrex performing a play with Mordin while wearing a cape. Just sayin'._

_Additionally, I am adjusting my updating schedule. I have been updating once every three days, but I feel like this isn't giving everyone time to stay caught up and it's putting a lot of pressure on myself and my editor. As such, I am changing to updating every four days. What? I said I was adjusting, not that I was slowing down!_

_As always, thanks for reading and reviewing!_


	45. Chapter 40: Agape Love

Chapter 40: Agape Love

_Tali'Zorah: Even with my struggles mentally and emotionally, I have to say they were at least as hard as the physical struggle I was undertaking._

_Unna'Karis: You mean your struggles to be with Shepard?_

_Tali'Zorah: Yes. Just as I was journeying toward loving the geth, I was also striving to be loved by my captain. _

Laying in the medical bay, Tali squeezed John's hand weakly. "Hey, you take care of yourself out there."

"I'll make sure he doesn't get into too much trouble." Garrus assured her, "you focus on getting better."

Liara smiled down at Tali. "Don't you worry Tali, Mordin and I will be at the Commander's side the entire time, and Garrus and the infiltration team have his back."

Tali nodded, then coughed and sniffled. "I didn't think phase two would make me quite this sick," she admitted.

"Ah, but the rewards!" Garrus answered, twitching his mandibles suggestively.

John and Liara elbowed Garrus simultaneously, though since everyone was in armor all they got was a bruised elbow.

"Commander, ETA to the Shadow Broker's ship is five minutes." Joker reported over the PA.

"We're on our way." John leaned over and stroked the top of Tali's mask. "We'll be back soon."

With that, Tali was left alone with Dr. Chakwas and the cold light of the med bay.

"Time to check your vitals again," Chakwas said, coming over and running a few tests. "Good, you seem to have stabilized, though you're going to feel weak and listless for several more days I should think. Your body appears to be adjusting to the Commander quite nicely, but I am keeping you on bed rest until further notice."

"It sure doesn't feel nice." Tali wheezed, then sneezed onto her face mask.

The defogger started to run and Dr. Chakwas made a clucking noise. "I'm not sure what you expected. You adapted to a limited exposure, but adding samples into your suit's atmosphere is an entirely different matter."

"Yeah, and now I'm missing the mission," Tali groused.

Previously it had only taken her a few hours to get over exposure to John. Tali had given herself a full 24 hours before they arrived at the Shadow Broker's base. However, while her initial reaction had not been severe, she had quickly started running a fever and developing other nasty symptoms. When she checked herself into the med bay, Dr. Chakwas gave her an ultimatum: Take out the samples, or be restricted to bed rest until the doctor decided she was fit for duty. After some deliberation and consulting John, Tali had decided to tough it out.

"We're taking in two teams, Garrus is taking Thane and Kasumi in as an infiltration team, and I've got Liara and Mordin." John had told her, "You do what you think is best. I would be happy to bring you along, but we have plenty of skill and firepower if you need to take a break."

"You know I want this; to be together with you. To feel your skin on my skin, and to see you face to face," Tali had answered, stroking John's face with her hand.

"Alright. I want that too. You rest up, we can handle this." John had assured her.

Now that he was actually gone and Tali was alone in the med bay, it didn't seem quite as good an idea. She knew that John was literally the best there was, and that whatever the Broker had was no match for six of the best in the galaxy. That didn't stop her from worrying though.

"Bosh'tet, you never worried about him when you went on a mission together." Tali scolded herself.

_But before, I was there if anything happened. _A small voice whispered inside her.

Tali was still worrying when the door opened and a ray of sunshine stepped in.

"Tali! How are you doing?" Kelly asked with a grin, planting herself on Tali's bedside.

"Ok," Tali mumbled.

Kelly put an exaggerated frown on her face and used her pointer fingers to drag her lower eyelids down. "Aww, what do we have a frowny face for? I know it isn't because your moping about Shepard leaving you behind, because that would be silly!"

Tali couldn't help herself, Kelly's tone and ludicrous expression got a few giggles out of her. "Of course not."

Kelly put her game face back on and smiled at Tali. "Hey, it's OK. This is the first time in a while Shepard hasn't taken you on a mission, isn't it?"

After thinking about it for a second, Tali admitted, "Actually, you're right; it is. Ever since he's come back, the only mission I wasn't on was when he and Garrus went after Sidonis, and I walked out on that one."

"It's normal to feel depressed when your partner doesn't involve you in activities. Even if that activity is assaulting the single most secure and secret ship in the entire galaxy. But as your relationship grows you will learn that it is OK to do things apart from each other."

"Hey, John and I do stuff away from each other all the time." Tali protested, "He does paperwork up in his cabin and I work in engineering."

"But you're still on the same ship, a call or an elevator ride away. You're not really apart from one another."

Tali crossed her arms and tried not to look petulant. "And your point is?"

"Tali, John's a human, you're a quarian. He's still extremely loyal to the Alliance Military, and you are a member of the Migrant Fleet. From time to time, you are going to be parted. Have you even thought about what's going to happen after this mission? Do you think he's going to join the Migrant Fleet, or that you are going to abandon your people and live on a human colony or ship somewhere?"

Tali opened her mouth, but nothing came out. The truth was, she hadn't thought of any of those things.

"Tali, don't panic or think I'm accusing you of anything. I suggest you take things one day at a time, and talk to John about this. I can almost guarantee he hasn't thought beyond next week when it comes to your relationship, just because he doesn't know what is going to happen in one month, and especially not in the next year. Both of you are living for this mission and that can be a good thing, but think about your future too."

"I hadn't thought about it." Tali admitted, "I want this to be something that lasts, and our fight against the Collectors won't be forever. And both of us would never abandon our people, we just couldn't."

"That's something the two of you will have to decide together," patting Tali's leg, Kelly assured her," I am certain you can come up with something that creates your own happily ever after."

"I hope so. Exposing myself to John, linking suits with him... It pretty much disqualifies me from any sort of relationship with another quarian for a long time, if ever. I knew that getting in to it, but I didn't really have a plan beyond 'Be with John.'"

"Talk with Shepard and with your Aunt and his mother." Kelly encouraged, "You are all smart, mature people. I am certain you can work something out."

"Thanks Kelly, you're a good friend and a good therapist." Tali joked, "Now instead of worrying about John getting killed on this mission, I can worry about if we can have a life together."

"Happy to help. And now, since you're sick, take a look at these pictures my brother sent me of his baby daughter! She's adorable!"

Looking at the pictures of the smiling, happy infant human did cheer Tali up, but they also made her cry.

"Tali?" Kelly asked as she proffered the latest picture of the chubby infant; this one of her splashing naked in a sink.

"It's so beautiful." Tali told her, tears still fogging her mask. "This is something a quarian parent can only dream about. Our infants are kept in carefully sealed spheres and only have contact with their mother to breast feed. It strengthens their immune systems, but any more contact then that could make them deadly ill. But this little girl can be held, bathed, taken out in the sunshine. That's what I want for my people."

"You know it's something you give up if you choose Shepard." Kelly told her softly.

Tali shrugged. "I don't know how I feel about having children myself. I don't see John and I ever actually settling down and starting a family. We both lead lives of violence, as good as we are it would only take one round to end either of us. I've lost both my parents, one to sickness and one to the geth. I don't want to have children if that's the future they have awaiting them."

"I see. Do you want me to put away the pictures?"

"Keelah no, she's just too cute! He skin color is all wrong for a quarian and she's shaped a little funny, but she's still precious!"

Before Tali knew it, the PA system crackled to life. "Joker here, just letting you know Tali the Commander's checked in. He's got a broken arm and a few bruises. Apparently he went hand to claw with something called a 'Yahg.' He came out on top though, and Liara is now installed as the new Shadow Broker. Garrus is taking over and the shuttle is bringing the Commander back for treatment."

"Thanks Joker, let him know he's a bosh'tet for letting some alien break his arm, but I'm glad he's safe." Tali answered.

"Will do, Joker out."

Kelly packed up her pic slate and left, and after what seemed like an eternity, John hobbled in to the med bay with Thane supporting him.

"Looks like I'll be keeping you company after all." John quipped, groaning as Thane set him down on the bed next to Tali's.

"What sort of thing is a yahg?" Tali asked, "And how did it manage to break your arm?"

Wincing as Chakwas and Thane got him out of his damaged armor, John answered "Something about twice as tall as a krogan and ten times as mean. Looked like a big, ugly bug. He rushed me and I was dumb enough to think I could take him. Broke my arm and destroyed my gun hitting the bastard in the face. Gave him something to think about, but he would have taken me if it wasn't for Mordin crippling his shields so Garrus could have everyone shoot him in the back."

"The Commander was very brave." Thane said, jerking off the damaged arm piece in one smooth motion. "Ms. Goto was injured and would have been killed by the Shadow Broker if Shepard hadn't blocked the creature's charge."

"Never leave a man behind." John stated.

"Well then I guess I can forgive you." Tali sighed, "And I'm glad Liara's taking over as the new Broker. She's got a good heart, and won't be willing to sell information to people like Saren."

"Thank you for your assistance Thane, I'll take it from here." Dr. Chakwas ordered, "And Tali, you've had plenty of excitement. Get some rest. Will you need a sedative?"

"No doctor." Glad John was alright, Tali set her mask to sleep filter and rolled over. In their business, getting out with a broken arm and a few bruises wasn't anything to worry about.

When she awoke, the ship's lights were dimmed and both John and Dr. Chakwas were gone. Tali still felt sick, but not as bad as before.

"Creator Tali'Zorah, has your repair sequence finished?" Legion asked, unfolding from a corner.

Panicing, Tali nearly fell of her bed. Then she remembered Legion wasn't hostile and forced herself to calm down. Hearing a slight noice, Tali turned to see Gola working on some medical samples.

"Shhh," Gola hushed, "she's trying to sleep, Legion."

"No, I'm awake." Tali sighed, "But I'm not better yet."

"Oh, the doctor told me to give you this when you woke up." Gola said handing Tali several vials. "Immuno boosters Mordin cooked up for you."

"Thanks." Tali took one and slid it into one of her medical ports. She eyed Legion, who was staring at her with his unblinking flashlight eye.

"Do you need something, Legion?" Tali grouched as the medicine flooded into her system.

"We still await your consensus on our message, Creator Tali'Zorah."

"Legion, I don't think that's something Tali's going to reach a consensus on anytime soon. I'm a Regret, and even I haven't decided how I feel about it yet." Gola told Legion, "Plus, she's sick. Wait till she is better."

"Understood. Entering standby mode." Legion folded back up, and it's light winked out.

"He is so creepy." Tali messaged Gola on a private comm channel.

"He's nice." Gola replied in the same fashion, "He really is trying to learn about us."

"So he can take it back to the geth and kill us all?" Tali grouched, then stopped herself. "Sorry, that wasn't very nice of me."

"I won't hold it against you. I think most quarians would be even more hostile then you are. At least you are trying to make peace Tali, even if you haven't quite got there yet."

"I shudder to think of what my father would say about me trying to be shipmates with a geth." Tali confided.

Gola paused, then said, "I can't say how I think your father would feel about you and the geth, but I can tell you that one day I think all quarians will be proud you tried to make peace with our children."

That made Tali laugh. "I'm bonding myself to a human. I don't think I'll ever have any children."

"One day, maybe all quarians will think of Black Hand Tali as the mother of our people." Gola said. With that, she finished the samples and left, leaving Tali alone with her thoughts.

_Unna'Karis: Prophetic of Gola._

_Tali'Zorah: Perhaps, but all I did was teach our people how to love the geth. Even more than the story of my love for Shepard, that is the story that I want our people to know. How I loved the geth, and how that changed everything for all races, past, present and future. Love, Unna, does conquer all. _

Authors Note:

Short chapter, but it seemed like a good place to leave things. It may seem like I am spending a lot of time on Tali's reaction to Legion, but this is literally what this story is about. As old/Tali said, this isn't just a love story between her and Shepard, it is a story about_ love_. Also, "agape love" is the term for "unconditional love."


	46. Chapter 41: The Face of the Enemy

Chapter 41: The Face of the Enemy

_Tali'Zorah: And if all my troubles were not enough, it was about that time that I finally came face to face with a Collector. Unna, you too have seen the Reaper spawn in vids, seen the reports of the casualties they still inflict on our shipping and colonies. You still cannot image the utter horror, the wrongness of being near one. _

_Unna'Karis: My older brother was killed in action against the Reapers over Halistrom five years ago. I may have never seen them myself, but trust me Tali. There isn't a single being alive today that doesn't appreciate the horror of the Reapers, and the danger they still are. _

It had been about a day since Tali was released from the medbay when the GQ alarm sounded.

"All hands, this is Commander Shepard. We have located a Collector vessel that appears to be lying doggo, possibly crippled. We are only a few hours away, and are turning course to intercept. I want everyone on full alert, and all away personnel to the shuttle bay. We are bringing everyone for this one. Shepard out."

"Ken, Gabby, bring us up to full military power and prepare for action," Tali ordered, grabbing her gear and hurrying for the ladder down to the shuttle.

"Aye aye ma'am," the engineers chorused, rushing to bring the ship up to combat readiness.

Tali hurried down to the shuttle. Since Engineering was so close, she was the first to arrive. The others were not far behind though, and everyone hurried to check their gear and ensure all weapons and armor were fully ready.

"I'm ready to hit these fuckers again." Jack growled, "After what I saw on Horizon... Shit, no one deserves that."

"They are worthy enemies." Grunt rumble, "I look forward to facing them in battle."

"You're a goddamn lunatic." Zaeed spat, "I saw the after action report. I've faced a lot of things, but I would never willingly face those bastards."

"They weren't so tough." Garrus stated, breaking down his sniper rifle, "Once Mordin countered their little tricks, they went down nice and easy."

Jacob shook his head. "Say what you want Garrus. That thing, Harbinger? I won't lie. I pissed myself the first time he showed up. Scariest thing I've ever seen, and I jumped every time he respawned."

Garrus's mandibles twitched. "Well, Harbinger was pretty bad. If he's there... Well, let's just say I bought all those shredder rounds for a reason."

"We killed him half a dozen times already." Miranda asserted, slapping home a fresh thermal into her pistol, "We can take him a dozen more if we have to."

"I wouldn't want to face him ever again." Kasumi shuddered, "I felt like he could see right through me, even with my cloak up."

"I saw the vids, what was Harbinger?" Tali asked. She remembered seeing a glowing, fiery Collector with strange and deadly powers. He had nearly killed Jacob the first time he had showed up, tossing him aside like a ragdoll and blowing off the man's biotics. John had been forced to order his entire team to unload on the creature and it had appeared several more times, almost like it was possessing the other Collectors.

"Fuck me if I know." Jack asserted, "If there's one thing that deserves swearing about, it's that monstrosity."

"Alright people, focus up." John ordered, striding in with his newly repaired armor. "I want everyone reviewing vids and tactics we came up with after our last dance with the Collectors. Focus on Harbinger. I don't know if he's going to be there, but he was the deadliest thing in their arsenal."

"I disagree, flying Collector, designation Praetorian. Repair capabilities impressive, weapons deadly. Flight problematic." Mordin stated

"That's what this is for." John said, patting his missile launcher.

Tali called up the vids from Horizon. The Praetorian was deadly, but Harbinger was frightening as well. The way it super charged ordinary Collectors was like nothing Tali had ever seen. They fought smarter, harder and gained strange powers when Harbinger took over, and it frightened Tali. What was Harbinger doing to them?

"You gonna be OK?" John asked her, coming to sit beside Tali on the crate she was on.

"Yeah, I've mostly adjusted, nothing that will slow me down." Tali assured him. "Next week, if Dr. Chakwas approves of it, I want you to come into the clean room with me."

"I would like that." John said quietly, taking Tali's hand in his own. "To be able to see your face... Well, it won't change how much I care for you, but it will be nice."

"Maybe more than nice?" Tali suggested playfully, her heart beating just a little faster.

John smiled. "We'll see. Now, any questions on the Collectors?"

They went over weapons and tactics, as well as a whole group discussion on the order of battle. Taking everyone made a much larger group then John usually used, but everyone was going to be needed.

"Miranda, you're team 3 lead . You've got Jacob, Gola, Zaeed and Legion. Hold the line back here at the ship, don't let anything past you."

"Understood." Miranda said, "the Collectors won't get past us."

"Garrus, you've got team 2. I'm giving you Jack, Mordin, Thane and Kasumi. When we get inside, your objective is to locate and rescue any colonists that may be on board."

"No one will be left behind." Garrus assured John.

"Team 1 is with me. That's Tali, Samara and Grunt. We're after any data on the Collectors and their disposition of forces."

"We shall fight well battlemaster!" Grunt declared, jumping and slamming his fists together.

"Fight smart. I don't want to lose anyone on this. Think of it as the dress rehearsal before we go after them at home." John ordered.

"You got it boss." Zaeed said, "I don't plan on dying today."

"Collector ship now in range." Joker announced over the PA, "We're going to use a makeshift docking tube as a boarding ramp. Standby, there's gonna be a bit of a bump."

The bump barely jarred the ship, and Tali was once again impressed with Joker's skill. Most pilots would have never been able perform such a maneuver, let along do it so gently.

"Alright people move move move!" John shouted, and the team swiftly shot down the tube.

"Clear!" Grunt called, he was the first across as the krogan could withstand the most punishment.

Everyone else fanned out around the entrance, checking for hostiles.

"Negative contacts commander." Miranda reported, "Taking up a defensive perimeter around the ship."

"You have your orders, team one on me," Shepard said, hurrying deeper into the ship.

As they jogged, Tali took stock of her surroundings. It was creepy and dank, a mixture of organic rock and mold or slime of some sort layered over bare metal that glowed with en evil light when their flashlights shown on it.

"This place is giving me the creeps," Tali muttered as she peered up into the shadows of an overhanging stalactite.

"It brings up memories from the tank. Like the rachni ships." Grunt said, "Perhaps these will be as worthy foes as the enemies of my ancestors."

"Goddess protect us if that is so." Samara said, "I sense great evil here."

"Shepard this is Archangel." Garrus radioed, "We've found survivors. But there's a problem."

"What's the situation Archangel?" John asked, pausing with his gun raised.

"There are thousands of them," Garrus replied. "We'll never be able to take them all."

"Shit." John growled, "Prioritize women and children. Get as many of them out as you can."

"The Illusive Man would want anyone with intel on the Collectors." Miranda interjected.

"You arguing XO?" John demanded.

There was a pause, then, "No, just making an observation. You're right Shepard. They're civilians, it's our duty to save them."

"Good. Miranda, I want you to send Jacob to help escort civilians back to the Normandy. As many as we can take."

"Roger that, Jacob is on his way."

"Come on, this mission just got even more vital." John ordered.

They hurried deeper into the ship, still unopposed.

"I don't like this." Grunt growled, sniffing the air, "I can smell our foes. Why do they not show themselves?"

Tali groaned as a humming sound filled the air. "Never ask a question like that Grunt. You won't like the answer."

"Ha, now we fight! I like that." Grunt rumbled.

From various openings the Collectors came, their wings buzzing as they landed and opened fire. The videos hadn't capture just how utterly wrong they were. Their eyes glowed with a wicked yellow light, and their bodies were a brown mishmash of organic and machine. Eerie clicking and metallic clangs emanated from them, and Tali wanted to scream. Instead she stayed calm and blasted away at any that entered her kill zone.

**SHEPARD. JOIN US. YOU CANNOT RESIST. **

Suddenly, Tali understood why Jacob hadn't been ashamed to say he wet himself when Harbinger arrived. There was no mistaking the unearthly glow, or the reverberating tones of the Reaper's voice.

"HARBINGER!" John roared, popping up to launch a missile, "Bring it down!"

Everyone focused fire on the glowing Collector, and Harbinger quickly exploded in a shower of gore.

"Well that wasn't so bad," Tali muttered, dropping behind cover to slap a fresh thermal in.

**THIS HURTS YOU.**

Suddenly, Tali felt herself lifted into the air as pain arched through her body and mind, her whole world exploding into agony.

**RELINQUISH YOUR FORM TO US. GIVE IN. WE ARE YOUR DESTINY. **

Tali felt herself weakening, her will being subverted as her flesh was tortured.

"Ancestors, save me!" Tali gasped.

"_GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF MY DAUGHTER_!" A quarian in the armor of an admiral appeared in front of her, blocking the beam from Harbinger and firing an assault rifle.

"Father? FATHER!" Tali cried, but he ignored her, continuing to fire at Harbinger, though the rounds seemed to not bother Harbinger at all.

**YOU ARE WEAK. PITIFUL. YOUR RESISTANCE IS USELESS.**

"Get her out of there!" John cried.

Suddenly, Grunt sprang forward, ripping into Harbinger with his bare claws. "FACE ME! I AM KROGAN!"

**YOU MAY DESTROY THIS FORM, BUT IT MEANS NOTHING!**

As the influence retreated and the pain faded, the quarian guarding Tali dissolved into mist.

"Father, where are you?" Tali gasped, staggering toward where she had seen Rael'Zorah only a moment before.

"Tali, come on!" John urged, helping Tali to her feet, "The Collectors are gone for now but they're sure to be back."

"But, my father, he was right here!" She protested, "I saw him!"

"Tali, you cried out for your father when Harbinger caught you in his beam. But he's dead, and so is your father. Come on."

With a final glance around, Tali reluctantly followed Shepard. She had seen her father, hadn't she? Suddenly, she started. He had been wearing the formal armor from her Pilgrimage dinner, not the battle armor he'd worn she had found him in on the Alarei. It was the way she preferred to remember him, after all.

"I'm just seeing things. Torture hallucinations." She muttered to herself.

They continued on into the belly of the ship, but no more Collectors were in evidence.

"Shepard this is Archangel. We're under fire from the Collectors. Nothing we can't handle, but it's slowing down our evacuation of the civilians."

"Copy that, Miranda. Let me know if there are more signs of trouble."

"A couple of pushes for the ship, but they didn't even get close. It was mostly husks, only a few Collectors."

"Roger that. We're still on the lookout for any intel or a way to permanently disable this ship."

"Shepard, I have located what appears to be the ship's central command room. I am marking its location on your map." EDI stated, and a glowing icon appeared on Tali's HUD.

"Right, then that's where we're going. First squad, on me."

Before long they were at the command chamber, which contained glowing screens in an strange language.

"My God." Shepard breathed, "It's prothean."

"What is?" Tali asked, stepping over to a console and running a quick scan.

"The language they're using. I can understand it. Hold on, I'm translating it." John typed furiously, then touched his ear. "EDI, can you form a translator protocol from the data I just sent you?"

"Scanning. Protocol complete. Estimate 87.3% accuracy."

Tali downloaded EDI's translator, and started downloading data. Before she had gotten more than a few gigabytes of data, the console froze and all the doors to the chamber slammed shut.

"It's a trap!" Samara shouted, "They've locked us in!"

"Dammit! EDI, can you get that door open?" John demanded.

"Negative. Attempting to create an alternate route for you."

"Shepard this is Archangel, the Collectors are hitting us in force now and we've been forced back. We're bringing all the civilians with us, but it's tough going."

"We're getting slammed as well Commander, but we will hold out until you get here." Miranda's calm voice stated, "You'd best hurry though, or there might not be many of us left when you do."

"Alternate route mapped." EDI stated, and a door slid partially open. "Follow the waypoints I have marked."

The squad quickly scrambled under the door and raced down the hall. Husks began to crawl from shafts in the floor, but the team blasted away without slowing down.

"Keelah, where'd all the husks-" Tali gasped, sliding through the door at far end of the hall, "-Come... From..."

"Goddess guide their souls." Samara whispered. Before them lay a massive chamber, almost large enough to set the Normandy inside. Every square meter of the surface was packed with pods like the ones Tali had seen colonists being stuffed into on the vids.

"Shit." Shepard muttered, "No wonder Garrus couldn't get all of them. Most of these are empty, but still..."

"I estimate that approximately 150,000 of the pods are filled." EDI stated, "And an additional 800 million pods are open, judging from the number of chambers like this one from my scans."

"That's a lot of tanks." Grunt rumbled.

Abruptly, the ground began to shudder, and Tali stumbled before she could catch her feet.

"EDI, what's happening?" John demanded.

"The ship is powering up Commander." The AI replied, "I suggest you evacuate immediately."

"No shit. Come on people, on to the platform!" John shouted, waving toward a floating platform in front of them.

"I have control of this platform's systems. Moving you toward the nearest exit." EDI informed, "Be warned. Multiple hostiles detached."

Glancing around, Tali felt her blood run cold. "Harbinger!" She shouted, diving behind cover before she could get caught by his attack again.

Samara, however, was not so lucky, lifting into the air as she was grabbed by Harbinger.

**ASARI. YOUR RELIANCE UPON OTHER SPECIES FOR REPRODUCTION MAKES YOU WEAK. GIVE IN. WE ARE YOU DESTINY. **

A strange, white aura surrounded the justicar, and she looked Harbinger square in the eyes. "My Destiny is the Goddesses. BE GONE DEMON!"

**WHAT IS THIS! WE CORRUPTED YOU! YOUR GODDESS IS NOT-**

Bolts of biotic energy, stronger than anything Tali had ever seen before in her life sprang from Samara's hands and smashed into Harbinger, ripping the avatar to shreds.

"What did you see?" Tali demanded as Samara gently set back down, "Did you see your ancestors?"

A single tear ran down Samara's face. "No Tali. I saw an angel of the Goddess. She was so beautiful."

"We can discuss that later!" Shepard shouted, "Praetorian!"

"Better!" Grunt snarled delightedly, "Two!"

Sure enough, two of the twisted abominations closed in on the platform, their beam weapons raking it as they landed.

"Flank them!" John ordered, "Don't let them close with you!"

All other things were forgotten as Tali ducked, rolled and fired, unleashing everything she had. Every time her overloads weakened one Praetorian's barriers and exposed its armor, it crashed down and recharged while its partner blocked incoming fire.

"This isn't working!" She cried, "We need a new plan!"

"I have one!" Grunt snarled, "See if you can recharge from this!"

Leaping onto the back of one of the Praetorians, Grunt blasted point blank with his massive shotgun and rended its metal with his claws.

"I! AM! KROGAN!"

Disoriented, the Praetorian tried to shake Grunt off, but the young warrior clung on, snarling and continuing to rake its back. It's companion turned and attempted to blast Grunt off, but he heaved to the side, rolling the Praetorian and falling off. The one Grunt had been riding let out an unearthly keening, then exploded as its armor and barriers failed from its own allies weapons.

"Now, while the other is vulnerable!" Tali called, sending an explosive charge right into the praetorian's still cooling eye weapons.

John let loose with a burst of automatic fire, and Samara lashed out with her biotics. Under the combined assault, the Praetorian's barriers rippled and failed. Its armor bent, and it fell away from the platform, crashing into the pods far below.

"Just in time." Tali panted as the platform docked.

"Shepard, hurry! We've got the civilians aboard but the Collectors are pressing hard!" Garrus's voice crackled, "We can't hold out much longer! Zaeed is dead, took a round for a human female and her child when his shields were gone."

"We're almost there!" John answered, then waved everyone on as they sprinted for the Normandy.

Collectors and husks seemed to crawl out from every crack in the walls, but they continued on, only slowing to blast enemies that directly blocked their path. Tali cursed as her shields steadily drained, desperately using all of her technical skills to try and keep the group's defenses from failing.

Just as the last of her shields drained, they were through the door and the Normandy lay ahead.

"There they are! Covering fire!" Miranda shouted, and rounds poured into the collectors and husks.

Tali saw several civilians hefting mass accelerators from the ships armory, apparently eager for revenge. Several of them were down, injured or dead, but others stepped into take the place of the fallen.

"That's him! That's Commander Shepard!" One of the rescued colonists called, and a ragged cheer went up.

"Get everyone inside!" John shouted as they sprinted for the line of defenders, "This ship is almost online!"

In moments Tali was crowding into the airlock with everyone else, blasting away with her shotgun as enemies poured toward the Normandy. Just as the first husks reached them, the airlock slammed shut.

"Grab hold of something!" Joker urged, "This is going to be hairy!"

The ship wrenched away from the Collector ship, and Tali fell to the ground as the G-Forces of Joker's maneuver pressed against her, overwhelming the mass effect fields.

"Jumping to FTL in ten. Collector ship is operational, they're coming about to fire." The pilot calmly reported, "Overriding safeties, rabbiting now."

The ship jerked forward, and Tali imagined she could feel the heat from the Collector's weapons. But they were safe, dropping out of FTL after a few seconds out of range of the enemy, then jumping back as soon as possible.

"That was too close." Tali sighed, disentangling herself from the pile of bodies by the airlock.

John stood, helping several civilians to their feet. "It was a set up. I figured that going in. Get the data you downloaded to EDI, see if anything good came out of it."

"At least we saved some of the civilians," Miranda spoke up.

Tali turned to tease her, but saw that the Cerberus operative was holding a small human child. Tali couldn't tell the gender of the child because it was too young to develop sexual characteristics, but it was weeping softly for its mother.

"Yeah. We did." Tali agreed. "Come on, let's get them down to the cargo room and see if we can get them something to eat."

After the civilians were all relocated and settled down with some food and medical supplies, the team met back in the briefing room.

"Jeebus, we left so many behind." Gola moaned, her face mask fogging up, "I feel like we failed."

"We did all we could." Garrus assured her, "Sometimes our best is all we can do. You can't always save everyone. I learned that the hard way."

"I can't believe Zaeed is dead." Jack mumbled, "I thought that old fucker would outlive me. He was tougher than varren hide and twice as mean."

"He died as he lived." Grunt stated, "Fighting hard like a true warrior! We will sing of his battles!"

"May Kalahira guide his spirit to everlasting waves." Thane prayed.

There was a moment of silence out of respect for their fallen comrade. Tali bowed her head, praying that Zaeed would find peace with his ancestors. She started. She actually believed he was with his ancestors, in the afterlife. It was a bit of a shock to someone who had considered herself a non-believer for most of her life.

"Did anyone else see their Ancestors when they were attacked by Harbinger?" she asked quietly, "I saw my father."

"No, I just pissed myself when he attacked me." Jacob told her, "I felt like I was losing control of myself, like my soul was being ripped from my body."

"I saw the spirit of C-Sec when he attacked me. I thought it was a hallucination." Garrus admitted.

"C-Sec has a spirit?" Gola asked.

"Turians believe everything has a spirit that reflects the accomplishments of those who are a part of it." Garrus explained, "C-Sec has been dominated by turians for almost a thousand years. All those turians working for justice, protecting the innocent and upholding the law have given it a powerful spirit."

"Interesting, have others experienced similar visions when attacked by Harbinger?" Mordin asked.

"I saw an angel of the Goddess in her wrath." Samara stated, "She blessed me, and stuck Harbinger with her sword of light, destroying the creature."

"Is that what happened?" Tali asked, "I thought I saw you glowing, and your biotics looks a little strange when you blasted Harbinger."

"Interesting. Confirms theory. Must do additional research. Will also find suitable religion, mission against Collectors guarantees contact, will require protection from attacks."

"I suggest each of us do the same." John stated, and they all turned to look at him. "I admit, for a time there I lost my own faith. I died, and I don't remember any afterlife. But it's pretty clear that somehow, faith is protecting people from the Reapers and their servants."

"Hmph. I don't need any mystical spirits." Grunt sneered, "I have ammo."

"I guess I might as well get out my mom's old Shinto stuff." Kasumi mused, "It was always just silly stuff from back home to her, but I don't believe in taking chances."

"Shepard, do you really think there is a god?" Miranda asked, leaning forward, "Your own personal experience suggests otherwise."

"Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't. I've had prayers answered and seen some pretty miraculous stuff. Maybe God just wants me to have faith."

"Fuck, this can't be real." Jack groaned, "I mean, do you really expect us to believe there's some magic old man in the sky watching out for us?"

The table shook as Samara stood, her eyes blazing with biotic fury. "I expect you to believe nothing, Jacqueline Naught. But do not question my own faith. I saw the glory of the Goddess today, and my faith was a shield proof against any blandishments of the enemy."

"Peace, siha." Thane murmured, "The girl is frightened. You win more converts with mercy and love then with angry words and threats of violence."

Samara bowed her head. "Forgive me, you are right. I beg your pardon Jack, I spoke out of anger, not love. I can see how this could be difficult for one who does not believe."

"I'll watch the tapes." Jack promised, "If I see anything I couldn't have done, you can paint me blue and call me converted."

"Then I shall pray Athame grants you insight and discernment." Samara said, bowing her head.

An uncomfortable silence settled over the table as the squad members wrestled with this latest revelation.

John finally broke the silence. "Alright, we're setting course for Arcturus to drop off the civilians, then heading for Omega. I believe several of us have unfinished business there. Dismissed."

People filtered away, but Tali stayed behind to talk to John.

"Hey, contact your mother. If she can make it to Arcturus, you should meet her. I would like to see her as well."

Reluctantly, John nodded. "Your right Tali. I'll do that."

They stood together for a moment, then Tali whispered, "John, I really did see my father. He was there, protecting me."

"I believe you. This is getting weird. I used to think I was a spiritual man, but all this..." He waved his hand in the air as if indicating everything around him, "This is to much for me. Maybe if I can get my mother to pray for me, meet with a priest..."

"I'm here for you as well you know." Tali told him, putting her arms around his neck. "If you need anything..."

"I appreciate it." John kissed her mask, leaving a slight smudge. "That's what I love most about you Tali. Even when you're hurting, you still reach out to others."

"I'm almost ready you know." Tali whispered, "Dr. Chakwas says my immune system has nearly adapted to you. A few more days..."

John put his finger to her vocalizer. "Hey, don't rush this. As much as I want to be with you, I could never forgive myself if I hurt you."

Tali smiled. "I don't think you ever will John."

_Unna'Karis: Did he ever hurt you?_

_Tali'Zorah: Of course. Especially when he died. But our relationship was still worth it. _

_Authors Note: _

_This chapter is dedicated to Robin Sachs, the voice of Zaeed Mussani. Robin passed away on February 1st, 2013. Rest in peace, you goddamn beautiful man. _


	47. Chapter 42: Watchers on the Wall

Chapter 42: Watchers on the Wall

_Tali'Zorah: I do want to convey that even though it sometimes felt that our warnings about the Reapers seemed to fall on deaf ears, there were some who listened. _

_Unna'Karis: The histories speak of a few, but it seems like most everyone failed to pay attention._

_Tali'Zorah: Most did true, but we would never have prevailed if not for the few who did. _

"Cerberus vessel stand by and prepared to be boarded."

"This is John Shepard, I'm here with vital intel regarding the colonial disappearances. I'm cleared by Admiral Hackett."

"Hold while we confirm. If you attempt to escape or appear hostile, we will fire."

"Understood. We're idling here."

Tali glanced nervously out the viewport. The station was still a bright dot on the horizon and the cruiser patrol that had intercepted them completely invisible against the stars, though they glowed brightly on instruments.

"This is Admiral Hackett. You have my permission to proceed Mr. Shepard. Docking bay E-34."

"Aye aye, sir." John flicked off the comm and smiled. "Take us in Joker, nice and steady."

"Roger that Commander." Joker agreed.

"Might want to lay off the Commander bit. A few people here might get a tad offended." John remarked, nodding toward the instrument panel where the cruisers were shadowing the Normandy like a wolf pack.

"With all due respect sir, they can go fuck themselves." Joker growled, "You're out there saving their asses. They should be grateful."

"We're not here to offend anyone Joker." Tali reminded the pilot, "We should probably play nice, at least for now."

"Fine. But I don't have to like it."

"Noted." John said with a smile, "And thanks, Joker."

It didn't take the Normandy long to reach the docking bay, and when they got there Tali couldn't help but notice the rather large defense cannons that tracked them in.

"Trusting, aren't they?" Tali wryly observed.

John shrugged. "Cerberus is a recognized terrorist organization, and I'm past due to come in."

"What inspired it now?" Tali inquired.

John smiled and squeezed her hand. "You did.

Flattered, Tali felt herself blushing. "What do you mean, I inspired it?" She stammered.

"Because you inspire to be better Tali." John explained, "I can't keep running from my past. I can't run away from who I am. If I make peace with God and the Alliance... Well, maybe we can have something together after this."

Tali felt her voice catching, "John, I don't know... I have the fleet, and you have your own obligations."

"What obligations?" He snorted. "I don't want to spend the rest of my life working for Cerberus. The Alliance considers me to be the next best thing to a traitor. As far as I'm concerned, I'm going to be spending the rest of my life trying to get people to listen about the Reapers and rallying support. If I can do that with you, I wouldn't mind helping out the fleet from time to time."

For some reason, that made Tali feel like crying. "That sounds wonderful."

Just then the ship rocked gently as the mooring clamps locked on.

"Show time." John growled, "Let's hope the REMFs decide to listen for once."

They exited to find an honor guard, locked at attention and saluting waiting for them. And at the end stood and old man in an admiral's uniform, Hackett Tali guessed, flanked by Hannah in her captains uniform.

"I thought you weren't a part of the Alliance Military." Tali whispered.

John frowned and whispered back, "I'm not."

"John Shepard, step forward!" Hackett barked.

Cautiously, John did so, saluting the flag officer by reflex.

"Raise your right hand." Hackett ordered, and John responded as if moved by puppet strings.

"Repeat after me: I, John Shepard, do solemnly swear to uphold and defend the Constitution of the Systems Alliance, to stand with humanity against all her enemies, domestic and foreign. That I will bear true faith and Allegiance to Earth and her peoples; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter. So help me God."

They finished, and John lowered his hand.

"Welcome back, Commander Shepard." Hackett said, tossing John a pair of dog tags. "Come on. We've got a hell of a lot to do and little time. Honor guard, dismissed!" With that, the Admiral turned on his heels and John and Tali hurried after.

"Garrus, this is Shepard. Get your ass up here. Tell Miranda she's in charge until we get back." John barked into his own comm as he and Tali jogged to catch up to the swift moving admiral.

"On my way Shepard." Garrus answered.

They didn't have long to walk, the security station had been cleared out and prepared for a meetings. Several men and women with grim faces and immaculate uniforms waited for them. To Tali's surprise, there were turians, salarians, asari, and even a volus gathered.

"Good. We're all here. Let's get started." Hackett declared, taking a seat at the head of the makeshift table that had been set up.

"Just a moment sir, I'm waiting for my XO." John said, coming to parade rest in front of the assembly.

"That would be Ms. Lawson, the Cerberus bird dog?" One of the salarians demanded.

"No, that would be me." A panting Garrus stated as he brushed passed the guards. "Guess I got promoted."

"Garrus Vakarian." One of the turians drawled, leaning back in his chair. "I thought you were dead."

"No such luck, General Victus." Garrus replied, spreading his mandibles in a turian grin.

"Should have known the reports were false." The turian replied, his own mandibles twitching in amusement. "Anyone who hangs around with Shepard seems to have nine lives."

"What is this about?" Tali demanded, "We're just here to deliver intel and resupply. We still have a mission to finish."

"Hmm, Tali'Zorah, known as Black Hand Tali." A salarian in a specter uniform remarked, "Rumor has it you and the Commander are romantically involved. I wonder, what is your part here?"

"I can lay those rumors to rest for you." John snapped, "Tali and I are involved. She's here as both my romantic partner, and as my most trusted ally. Not to mention the representative of the quarian people."

"They didn't respond to our invitation to join this assemblage. Neither did Urdnot Wrex." Hackett said, "But it's time to get to business. Commander, in your last transmission, you said you had vital intel on the Reapers. We want to hear it."

"Wait, you're telling me you all believe in the Reapers?" Garrus demanded, "I know how Palaven Command feels about it. What are you doing here General?"

"Let's just say that when one of my brightest young soldiers, a human renowned for bravery and the best damn STG operative I've ever worked with all tell me that Reapers are coming, I listen." Victus answered.

"STG Operative?" Tali asked, "You mean Mordin?"

The salarian specter nodded. "Indeed. That, combined with the evidence we've collected and the attacked on the citadel. I didn't stay alive in the field as long as I have without learning when to listen to warnings."

"Specter Bau is correct." An asari in a commando uniform stated, "Our masters may not be willing to believe, but we are. So tell us, Commander, what have you learned?"

"This is going to sound crazy coming for me, so hold on just a moment and let me get my expert." John stated, "Normandy, send Samara and Mordin here. Tell them to double time."

"Samara?" Another asari, this one a matriarch in a formal Admirals robe, "Not Justicar Samara?"

"The same." An STG general confirmed, "Our data suggests she joined the Commander a few weeks ago on Illium."

"That complicates things." The matriarch sighed, "I trust Samara, but many do not look upon the justicars with favor."

"In the meanwhile, I've got this for you to consider." John interrupted, "We know what the Collectors are."

"They're just a race from beyond the Omega 4 relay, are they not?" A human general asked.

"No. They are what's left of the Protheans when the Reapers finished with them." John reported, "Our intel from one of their ships confirms it."He brought up an image of the quadruple helixed DNA retrieved from the Collector ship by Tali.

There were rumbles of discontent, but Hackett quieted them down. "What do you think this means, Commander?"

"Simple, protheans subverted. DNA altered, made to be totally subservient. Confirms Indoctrination theory put forth in Ilos report. Reason no prothans left, all died when masters left." Mordin explained, coming up to stand beside Tali, "Without Reaper's direction, Collectors cease to function. No longer truly possess intellect, or soul. All taken by Reaper modifications."

"Dr. Solus." John said, indicating Mordin, "Please explain your other theory. The one about Indoctrination."

"Ah yes, Indoctrination." Mordin sucked air in through his nostrils, "Very disturbing evidence. Suggests Reapers posses spiritual powers. Able to subvert not the mind, but the soul. Excellent proof for existence of soul, have conducted research, forwarding copy to members present." He activated his omnitool and several of the dignitaries omnitools beeped.

"However, defense possible. Proven my justicar Samara and case of Ganto Imness. Strong religious beliefs provide defense against Indoctrination."

At that pronouncement, several members of the committee stood and shouted various denials. Others stared at Mordin in shock, a few nodded as if it confirmed their own suspicions.

"Don't blame me." Mordin scolded, "Evidence in report. Proof collected for you. If you have evidence to refute, will reconsider. All available data supports conclusion however."

"I can confirm that Dr. Solus is correct." Samara stated, her clear tones silencing the dissenters. "When I was attacked by Harbinger, an avatar of a Reaper who manifests by possessing the Collector slaves, he attempted to Indoctrinate me. But when I cried out to the Goddess, she sent one of her angels of light that smote the monstrosity."

When several members of the committee seemed ready to protest, Tali looked at Garrus, who nodded. They stepped forward together.

"We saw the same thing." Tali stated, "I was protected by the ghost of my Ancestors when I called upon them."

"And I was saved by the spirit of C-Sec when Harbinger assaulted me." Garrus stated, "It doesn't show up on the combat vid, but I saw what I saw. There's more to the Reapers then meets the eye."

"If Garrus saw it, then I believe it." Victus stated, glaring at anyone who looked ready to protest.

Bau nodded, "If Mordin's research backs it, then I'll take it as fact."

"A justicar's methods may not be popular," The matriarch stated, "But their word is considered to be absolute proof in a court of law."

That quieted everyone down, and a hush fell over the assembled leaders.

"Look, my crew and I have had a hard time believing this too, and we were the ones being saved." John declared, "But you have to trust us on this. God is our best defense against the Reapers."

"Well, then I'm glad I pray to the Spirit of my regiment every day." Victus drawled, "But I don't think telling everyone that have to get out the incense and candles is going to get us very far."

"And what of the Reaper's physical forces?" Bau demanded, "Do you want us to pray against them as well?"

"Prayer not currently recommended as ordinance." Mordin replied, "Suggest Thranx cannons, developed by turians. Seem efficient based upon simulations."

"We're working on that." Hackett stated, "And you've given us something to think about Commander. But here comes the real question: When are they getting here, and from where?"

"I have no idea Admiral." John replied, "As far as I know, they're all deactivated in dark space and are never arriving. But I don't think any of us really believes that."

"Damn right we don't." The matriarch muttered.

"So all I can tell you is this: Keep talking to your governments. Try to get more funding, more ships, more soldiers. Hell, talk to your religious leaders. Get them to start converting people. Whatever we can do to prepare, do it."

"The missionary thing might work." Bau chuckled, "But sadly anything tangible like funds or weapons to fight Reapers isn't likely to materialize."

"There are other ways." Hackett said, leaning forward and resting his chin on his hands. "The Alliance has given me the green light to increase spending due to what I have termed 'a series of raids against independent holdings.' I've convinced the politicians that pirates in the terminus are growing bolder. It's not much, but I've gotten the funding for two whole patrol fleets approved."

"Hmm, yes," Victus mused, "If I play up the recent unification of the krogan as a threat, I bet I could convince the Primarch to give me another heavy weapons platoon."

"I maybe be able to help. Ksssshhh." The volus said, "You all know me as Barla Von the banker, shhhhhkk. But I have plenty of contacts I can cash in for -hffff- funding of various projects."

"That's a start." John agreed, "I'm still working on stopping the Collectors. Once I've done that, I'm going to try and rally support with several of the other races. Especially the krogans and the quarian."

"The Migrant Fleet is the largest body of vessels in the galaxy." Tali reminded dignitaries, "I'm confident that will be important when the Reaper's arrive."

The asari, salarian and turian representatives looked nervous at the mention of krogan, and condescending at the thought of quarians, but the humans nodded. Either they were new enough not to develop prejudices, or just more desperate, Tali didn't know.

"Good plan." Hackett agreed. "Well Commander, you've given us food for thought. I want any additional intel you come across the minute after you have it. Captain Shepard will debrief you while we discuss out plans. Dismissed."

With that, John and his crew were led from the room, leaving the various leaders to plan and scheme.

"I can't believe people are actually willing to believe us." Garrus muttered as they stepped outside.

"I can't believe John just got himself sworn in again." Tali stated.

"I can't believe it either." John agreed, "Though it doesn't seem to change my plans much."

"Well, I hope those plans involve you and your friends having dinner with your mother." Hannah said, coming up to embrace her son. "It's good to see you again Jonny."

"You too mom. Sorry it's been so long, I was mostly dead there for a while."

"Oh stop, you'll make me cry." Hannah laughed, wiping tears from her eyes, "And you know what a pain dress blues are to clean."

"Dinner sounds lovely Hannah." Tali said, embracing the elder Shepard next.

"Good, though I'm afraid I'll have to order more. I only got one dextros serving, and Garrus looks like he could eat three."

"Just two would be fine." Garrus answered, piling into the hug. "Does this mean we're all family now?"

"Of course it does, we're shipmates!" Tali laughed.

"Would be interested to observe human familial relations." Mordin mused, "Will consent to dinner."

"I would be honored to share your table, Captain Shepard." Samara bowed, "But I have a... Reservation with a friend."

"Don't tell me you and Thane are going on a date!" Tali squeaked.

Samara just looked at her with an icy gaze, but Tali refused to back down. "Well, you are. I hope you two have fun."

"I anticipate that we shall." Samara huffed, then strode off, her heels gently clicking on the corridors tiles.

"Good for them." John laughed, "Come on mom, I'll have to order pizzas for the crew. There won't be much in the way of shore leave today."

"What about Gola?" Tali demanded, "She can't eat levo food."

"Tell her to come with us." John suggested, "She's the only other dextro aboard anyway."

After a short wait for Gola, the party took an air car to a secure Alliance section of the station.

"Homey." Garrus quipped, "Reminds me of the cell blocks back in C-Sec."

"Even though Admiral Hackett pulled strings to get you aboard, officially all of you are still terrorists." Hannah explained, "So this is the best we can do.

They all entered a room that strongly resembled an interrogation chamber, but with a table cloth and several steaming boxes of food.

"Hey, it's nicer then my family dinners back on the Ikomi." Gola assured Hannah, "I'm grateful you invited me."

"Have eaten in far worse situations. Lack of angry hanar makes atmosphere much more enjoyable." Mordin remarked, earning himself several rather bemused looks.

Hannah stepped in before Mordin could explain just what he had done to perturb hanar in the past. "Anyway, let's all sit and say grace. I'm sure your all hungry. John, would you?"

"Of course."

Tali watched carefully as everyone linked hands, or talons, and formed a circle around the table.

"Bless us, O Lord, with these thy gifts, which we are about to receive, from thy bounty, through Christ our Lord, Amen."

With that, everyone seated themselves and dug in.

"Not bad, I wouldn't have thought you would know how to get good dextrose food Hannah." Garrus compliment as he chewed on a piece of dextrose meat.

"I actually asked Victus, he's an old acquaintance from First Contact War veteran's meetings."

"Really? Small galaxy." Garrus chuckled.

"Gola, I noticed you knew the blessing. You don't happen to be a Catholic do you?" Hannah asked as she served Mordin a steaming plate of rice and vegetables.

"I am actually. I met Tali and John at mass on Illium. We got to talking, and well, I guess I volunteered to be their AI expert."

"That's wonderful! When I heard Tali and John were dating, I hoped they would attend services together."

"It's been rough mom." John admitted, "Mostly dead is a bit of an understatement. I was dead for almost a year, and in a coma for another six months."

"Did you see heaven?" Hannah asked, her eyes gleaming.

"No. And it nearly destroyed my faith. But with the help of my crew," John reached over and took Tali's hand, smiling at her, "I've been able to make it through."

"And his best pal in the whole universe." Garrus bragged, "I may have helped a bit."

"Garrus, you got him DRUNK." Tali scolded, "That hardly count's as therapy."

"Tali, you have a lot to learn about men." Hannah sighed, "This isn't the first time John's had a traumatic experience, and it won't be the last. Sometimes a few nights on the town with his friends will be just what he needs, even if you don't get it."

"I'll admit he can be a bosh'tet, but I do love him." Tali said, smiling at John in reply, though she knew no one else could see.

"Love, a fascinating concept." Mordin remarked, "Salarian's lack a sex drive, but love between mates or close friends does occur. All non-sexual, but still describes bond."

"I think love can happen to any species." Gola agreed, "I've been talking to some of our crew that falls under my expertise, and they seem capable of genuine affection and attachment. Why, one of them even tells jokes when I get down."

Tali nodded, grateful that Gola was smart enough to disguise her true meaning. They were in an interrogation chamber after all.

"Her puns just get me down." Garrus protested, but when Gola mimed throwing her empty food vial at him he relented. "Alright, alright, they're just as much a part of the crew as anyone else."

"They?" Hannah asked, "You have more than one special friend aboard Gola?"

"Two. One was there before me, the other... Have you heard Tali's song?"

Hannah shook her head, and Gola activated her omnitool and played the Song of the Ancients. When it finished, there were tears in Hannah's eyes.

"That's beautiful, though I'm not sure what exactly it's about."

"Do you know the history of the quarians?" Tali asked, "Why we live aboard ships instead on our homeworld?"

Hannah nodded, frowning slightly as the wheels turned in her head.

"The children in the song refer to our own creations," Gola explained, "And one of our children has joined us. I've had some fascinating discussions with him. Organics seem not to be the only ones with religious beliefs. I'm writing my doctoral thesis on AI religious beliefs. Mordin's helping me, I'm submitting it to Dalatras Elta University on Sur'Kesh."

"Really?" Hannah leaned back, a smile playing on her lips, "That sounds fascinating Gola. I'd love to see that myself, and you should consider forwarding it to the Catholic church. I'm sure the Vatican would love to hear it has a whole new mission field on Rannoch."

"I'll have to think about it." Gola laughed.

The conversation drifted to John and Tali's relationship, and Garrus bragged he had guessed the day they finally realized their love for each other, winning almost 5,000 credits in the pool.

"You were betting on when they started dating?" Hannah laughed, "Was it really that bad?"

"Apparently Tali had been carrying a torch for me for quite a while." John explained, "It just took me a while to realize it."

"I knew she had a thing for you when I first met her," Hannah teased, "The way she talked about you was exactly like a young woman who had fallen for a dashing young captain in all those romances I used to read."

"Humans have romances about crewmembers falling in love with handsome captains too?" Gola giggled, "we must have more in common than I thought!"

"Biologically similar, except for protein base." Mordin commented, "Humans and quarians both possess glands for secreting a nourishing fluid for young. Live birth, usually one offspring, rarely two. Known for curiosity, drive, loyalty to family unit. Humans fascination with AI research possibly dangerous, could lead to another Morning War if unchecked."

"Maybe humans will be more forgiving." Gola suggested, "I personally believe that the Morning War was a mistake on the part of the quarians."

"Speculation interesting, but ultimately futile. Generally accepted that synthetics and organics cannot coexist."

"Then our little band is doomed isn't it?" Garrus asked, "Don't go all negative on us doctor."

"Interesting. Personal experience usually not considered sufficient data, too involved personally to make good observations. Will have to try to collect more data."

After that, the meal was finished and it was time head back to the Normandy. John and Tali hung behind to talk with Hannah for a few minutes while the others waited in the air car.

"I'm so glad the two of you have each other." Hannah told them, doing her best to hide her tears, "I've liked you since the day I met you Tali, and I'm glad my son has such a loving and loyal woman at his side."

"Having your blessing means a lot to me Hannah." Tali told her, trying her best not to cry herself while she hugged the elder Shepard. "I know my own father wouldn't have approved, Ancestors rest his soul."

"I wish I could have met him." John sighed, "I would have liked to at least try to convince him I wasn't a monster."

"You have my Auntie Raan's approval, and Uncle Wrex's if I asked." Tali laughed, "If, no, when we make things official, I'm sure we can get their blessing."

"Don't feel like you have to get married for me." Hannah told them, "Take your time. I know how young people are, even if my Jonny is getting to the point where he was worrying his mother that he would never settle down."

"After this mission." John stated, "Then we can have a few years while we plan for the Reapers. Just don't ask how we're going to get you grandchildren."

"I'm sure they would be adorable if you figure out a way. If not, well, there's always adoption. Comes without the mess of childbirth with all the fun of trying for it anyway."

"Mom!" John spluttered.

"We're still working on that part." Tali teased, rubbing her hip against Johns side, "I have to take things pretty slow because of my immune system, but John's been wonderfully patient."

"That's because you're worth waiting for." John said in a husky voice, drawing her near.

"Good things usually are." Hannah declared, wiping away a few stray tears. "Now, I have to get back to my post, they're transferring me to the _Everest _as the new commander of a Dreadnaught battle group. I tried to turn down the promotion, but Hackett insisted."

"I'm sure you've earned it." John said, "stay safe mom."

With a final hug they parted, each to their own missions. But they all knew the real goal: The Reapers and their servants were out there. And when they arrived, the galaxy needed to be ready.

_Unna'Karis: So you thought you still had years to prepare?_

_Tali'Zorah: Now it seems foolish, but at the time we had no idea when or where the Reapers would strike. And would not know the terrifying truth for some weeks._


	48. Chapter 43: Shadow of a Darker Power

Chapter 43: Shadow of a Darker Power

_Tali'Zorah: After our meeting on Arcturus, we finally confronted the first hint of what we would come against in the next year._

_Unna'Koris: You attacked the Collector Base?_

_Tali'Zorah: No. We found an unrepentant Ardat-Yakshi. _

From Arcturus it was only a few hours of relay jumps to Omega. Emotionally spent, Tali took the opportunity to catch up on her rest. Seeing the support for the _Normandy_, even if it was covert, had been a comfort, as had been meeting with Hannah. Having the blessing of Shepard's mother meant a great deal to Tali. The fact she got along with Shepard's mother so well was a good sign. Against all odds, it was looking like she and John might have a future together after all.

Right now though, they had to focus on the mission. Today, that meant bringing in an Ardat-Yakshi serial killer.

"She is powerful, almost unimaginably so," Samara was explaining in the conference room. "She is also intelligent; a cunning predator that feeds on sapient beings. She will not show herself unless she believes it to be safe."

"Sounds like we're going to have to set a trap," Garrus mused. "I've still got a few contacts on Omega. Maybe Archangel needs to make a comeback."

Samara shook her head, "No, if she senses danger she will flee. We must be subtle and quick."

"What's going to be the best way to get her out in the open?" Tali asked. "Once we know where she is we should be able to deal with her."

"I am going to require that I be the one to take her. She is my daughter, and I do not want the guilt of her death upon another's hands."

John nodded. "The kill will be yours Samara, but we are going to have to scout for you. I doubt that an asari justicar's arrival will go unnoticed."

"True," Samara agreed, "I shall rely on Thane to be my proxy until she is located."

"I shall not fail you, siha. She shall not blind me again. We should be able to locate and capture her relatively quickly." Thane assured Samara.

"I've got an understanding with Aria," John explained. "And I'm sure something like an Ardat-Yakshi won't escape her notice."

"It is good I am under Oath to you Shepard." Samara said, a wry grin creeping onto her lips, "Someone like Aria would normally require an execution instead of an alliance."

"So we'll beat the bushes, quietly, for you Samara. A drell, a quarian, a turian and a human are probably a lot more common then justicars out here in the Terminus." Tali assured the justicar

"I appreciate your help. Perhaps now, my quest can finally end."

When the Normandy docked, Tali changed into her old suit. It was of plainer make, and more fitting for a quarian out on pilgrimage. Thane was dressed in a grimy technician's overalls, and Garrus was wearing an old set of armor with the helmet on. Shepard had on the rough set of clothes he worn to mass, along with a darkened visor.

Glancing at the group, Tali sighed. "We'll still stand out you know. It's not like a group as diverse as ours is a common sight."

"More often than you would think on Omega." Garrus told her, "But quarians and drell are still pretty rare."

Their destination was Aria's headquarters, a club called "Afterlife." The bouncer took one look at the group and nodded them forward.

"Warmly; Welcome to afterlife. Please do not leave any bodies on the floor," the elcor rumbled.

"Hey, why are you letting them in!" A human in line protested, "I've been waiting here all night."

"Annoyed; you do not have enough firepower to storm the place. Firmly; Get back in line."

"We really do have to work on our idea of casual wear." Tali mused, "I don't think normal people go everywhere as well armed as we do."

"Most people don't live on Omega. Or have as many enemies as we do. Here just about everyone carries. Admittedly, most of them don't have Black Widow rifles, Claymore shot guns, Revenant machine guns or Paladin pistols." Garrus explained.

"My Paladin has been with me through many trials." Thane shouted over the beat of the music, "I would be loath to part with it."

Mandibles twitching in amusement, Garrus continued, "Most people here see one of those and figure your one of two people. Either you're a rich punk who just buys the best and is an easy mark, or you're a tough son of a bitch who's good enough to need that kind of gear."

"And we don't look rich." John grinned, "Come on, Aria's probably over here."

John led them through the writhing throng to a VIP booth guarded by several rugged looking batarians.

"Shepard." One of them said, "Aria's expecting you."

Nodding to the batarian, John started up the stairs. "Thanks, Bray."

Aria was not what Tali had expected. She knew asari could be tough, but Aria looked like a matriarch, not a maiden out for a few kicks. No maiden could have that easy aura of power and authority, or the cold look of a woman who could kill with a word and knew it.

"Shepard, have a seat. Your drinks are on me. My boys will get something for your friends too. I'm always honored to have Archangel in my house. Thane Krios has a quite the reputation as well, and who can forget Black Hand Tali."

That got Tali's attention. Not only was Aria physically imposing, she evidently had quite the intelligence network as well.

"Thanks, Aria, I could use a cold one," John said with a grin, sprawling on the couch across from Aria. Tali sat by his side, while Garrus and Thane took up positions down by the bodyguards.

"You want some entertainment? I've got a new batch of girls, humans this time. They're popular with the batarians, humans, and interestingly enough the vorcha."

Putting an arm meaningfully across Tali's shoulders, John responded, "no thanks Aria, I brought mine with me."

"Damn, when I heard you were shacking up with a quarian I didn't believe it." Aria laughed, "Guess that just goes to show me not to underestimate you."

Tali's eyes narrowed and she layered her voice with ice. "That would be wise."

Shrugging, Aria sipped at her drink. "You got a quad girl. Careful that pretty mouth of yours doesn't get you into trouble."

Tali felt John's arm tense, but before he could say anything, Garrus spoke up. "Just so you know Aria, I would rank threatening Tali up there with throwing rocks at a sleeping thresher maw. Both of those scenarios end with you as a stain on the ground."

"From anyone else I would call a remark like that stupid, Archangel," Aria snapped. But then she smiled, "I won't antagonize Shepard or his girl unnecessarily." With that, Aria tossed back the last of her drink and threw the cup to one of her flunkies. "Anyway, I know you didn't come here for the drinks Shepard. What is it now? Looking to recruit the Ardat-Yakshi that showed up a few weeks ago?"

"We're looking for her alright," John allowed.

Aria's eyes narrowed. "So, you're here to kill the filthy creature. Good. I won't personally interfere with anyone's business unless they break Omega's only rule, and I'm not stupid enough to fall into her clutches."

"Where is she?" Thane asked, "How many has she killed?"

"Two, that I know of. One was a batarian warlord, did me a favor there. The other was some human girl, an artist or something like that I think. As for where she is, right here in Afterlife. Or at least Afterlife+."

"Afterlife plus?" John asked, "Where's that?"

"Up a level. It's a place for the rich idiots to hang mostly. The drinks are a little more expensive, the company a little less inhibited, and the drugs a little harder. Perfect place for a hedonistic shit like Morinth."

"Can you get us in?" Thane asked, "We're going to need to resolve this quietly."

"Just don't depressurize more than a deck. I get grouchy if the repairs go over a hundred thousand credits. The pass word is 'Jarut,' but I'll tell the bouncer to let anyone that says they're with lover boy here in. This could work out well for the both of us. You get rid of that little parasite and fulfill your inner Boy Scout, and I get an Ardat-Yakshi-free station again."

John stood and nodded to the queen of Omega. "Nice talking with you Aria."

"Yeah. Just keep the explosions to a minimum." And with that, Aria's attention was elsewhere.

"It's like she knows you," Tali joked as they went back to the club floor. "What did you do the last time you were here?"

"Well, first we destroyed the three biggest merc groups on Omega just to haul a turian who thought he was hot stuff out of trouble. And blew up almost two whole subsections." John admitted, "Then we sort of cured a plague and destroyed most of a life support unit."

"Hey, we fixed the life support. Anyway, that was mostly the vorcha's fault." Garrus declared, wiggling his mandibles in mock protest.

"I can see why Aria was concerned about depressurization." Thane remarked, "I have noticed a similar pattern of behavior. Dantius towers and that Eclipse base were much more open air when you were finished with them Commander."

Tali giggled. "That's my captain. How are we luring Morinth out though?"

"From the intel we've got, she's a hedonist, loves power, control, and danger," John listed, "I talked to Samara, she has a drug habit and prefers Halix, as well as having a thing for sensory music."

"I can't see her being terribly interested in any of us. I extrude manliness, but I'm also a police officer. Mornith could probably tag me in a heartbeat. Same goes for you Shepard." Garrus shruged.

"Right. Thane's a religious nut, and Tali isn't what you would call worldly," John agreed. "But I think we have the perfect girl for the job."

Ten minutes later, they met Jack and Samara outside the airlock.

"So let me get this straight. You want me to lure out a psychic sex vampire by getting high on Halex, dancing like a freak and fucking up anyone who looks at me funny, and you want me to gush about my favorite band?"

"You like sensory music?" John asked.

"Fuck yes! Expel 10 is here on Omega, I was going to try and get tickets."

"Sounds good but what happened to your language?"

Jack scowled at John. "Hey I'm getting into character. Back the fuck off. Omega is my kinda place, I know how to blend."

"Just don't actually fall for Mornith," Samara cautioned. "She is powerful and seductive. Watch yourself, or you may be lost in her thrall."

"You make it sound like she's gonna Indoctrinate me, Buttercup," Jack sneered.

Samara nodded. "That is actually possible. There are reports of powerful Ardat-Yakshi dominating the minds of their prey. It could be similar to Indoctrination."

"Fan-fucking-tastic. What, are you going to give me an asari cross to ward her off? Maybe some space garlic?"

"Holy icons have power only if you believe in them," Samara answered. "But if you wish me to pray over you I will."

"No thanks. Let's do this."

"Hold on." John cautioned, "Garrus and Tali are going to cover you from a mobile air car. Thane will be on the ground, shadowing you in case things go wrong. Samara and I will follow you from a second air car. If things get bad, they have my authorization to take her out. We're trying to let Samara deal with this personally, but I'm not losing anyone over this."

"That is acceptable," Samara agreed. "Your loyalty to your crew is commendable. You and I will wait nearby in another air car. Try to get Morinth to take you somewhere private, like her apartment. I will confront her there."

"Shit, just as long as you don't want me to get laid. I like my brains where they are," Jack laughed.

About an hour later, Garrus was resting his Black Widow sniper rifle on the air car frame while Tali kept the vehicle in a holding pattern over Afterlife+.

"Can you believe Samara initially wanted Shepard to go in by himself?" Garrus asked as he sighted down his scope. "He's just about the worst person I can think of to lure in someone like Morinth. An almost perfect paragon of uprightness and moral fortitude would stick out like a krogan in a suit."

"Maybe not a few months ago, back when he was still running from his God," Tali said. Glancing in the mirror at the turian. "He was pretty hedonistic back then."

"True, but I think Morinth probably could have seen right through that. From what Aria and Samara told us she's not terribly interested in damaged goods."

Tali laughed. "Good thing we got Jack therapy, she was pretty screwed up when I met her. Even threatened to try to sleep with Shepard."

"I'm half surprised they didn't sleep together. Some of those strippers..." Garrus coughed and looked away.

"I know about them. But he's past that now. Have you seen him even drink hard since we started dating?"

"Not really. We both started getting over our issues about the time you got here. Hell, if Shepard hadn't claimed you, and you weren't so taken with him, I might have been interested."

"Really? In me?" Tali was shocked, she had never thought of Garrus as anything more than a friend.

"Sure, why not? We've been together for a long time, we get along fairly well, were both dextros and you've got very supportive hips. In another life, we might have hooked up."

"Supportive hips?"

Shrugging, Garrus explained, "It's a turian thing. Our females don't have those silly things on their chests. Have to have something to ogle."

Tali was about to respond when the tracker Jack had on started to move. "Looks like she's gotten Morinth hooked. That didn't take long, she's only been in there an hour."

"Hey, they're both psychotic biotics. A match made in the Afterlife."

"I should dump you out for that pun," Tali threatened, then activated her comm. "Angelwings to Judgment, target is mobile."

"Rodger, we see it too. Looks like they're headed for Ensilla, the expensive living units in this sector. Go on ahead, we'll track with the target," John replied.

"Copy that, moving to a new roost." Tali headed for the district, going for all the speed she could and finding a spot that had a good view of most of the apartments.

Garrus climbed out and set up an active camo tent where he hid with his rifle. Tali climbed in beside him with a pair of binoculars to spot. In a few minutes, Jack and Morimth showed up in one of the apartments, laughing and clearly intoxicated.

"I've got a clear shot," Garrus stated, adjusting his rifle. "If things get hairy I can resolve the situation."

"We're almost there, had to double back, Morimth nearly made us. Thane had to back off completely," John stated ."Jack says she's still OK."

Now that their prey was in sight, the jovial attitude evaporated and Tali felt herself tensing. Garrus's breathing slowed as he focused, ready to fire on command.

As Tali watched, she saw Morinth slowly drawing closer to Jack. At first the human biotic laughed it off and resisted, but as Tali locked on Jack's eyes slowly glazed over and she stated to fall into the Ardat-Yakshi's thrall.

"Judgment, trouble. Jack's being subverted."

"I have the shot." Garrus said in a monotone.

"We're here, but Jack isn't responding. Wing her."

In the confines of the camo tent the roar of the rifle was nearly deafening, and Tali's mask had to filter out most of the sound to keep her from suffering ear trauma. Morinth was flung back with a wrecked shoulder, and Jack slumped over as the asari crumpled to the floor.

"Let's go!" Tali shouted, and they piled into the aircar and sped over. Tali hacked the barriers the anti-material rifle round had penetrated and put the car into hover mode as Garrus trained his rifle on the scene. Jack was comatose, and Samara was straddling the wounded Morinth on the floor.

"Mother," Morinth spat. "So nice to see you. I take it this is your work?"

Ignoring the barbs, Samara coolly stated, "Find peace in the embrace of the Goddess." The justicar's fist glowed with biotic fury, then slammed down on Morinth's head. The Ardat-Yakshi twitched and lay still. It was over.

Closing her eyes, Samara stood and let out a wail that made Tali's blood freeze as tears streamed down the justicar's face. Her mission was fulfilled, and her daughter was dead. There would be no after-mission celebration tonight.

"Jack's down," John yelled,."Get her back to the ship. We'll finish up here."

They loaded the still unconscious Jack into the air car and sped back to the Normandy while Tali checked her vitals.

"I don't get it, there's nothing wrong with her. It's like..."

"Like she's Indoctrinated." Garrus growled from the driver's seat.

They got back to the Normandy as soon as possible, radioing ahead for Mordin and Chakwas to meet them at the airlock.

"Subject's vitals normal. But unresponsive to stimuli." Chawkas murmured as she passed her omnitool over the comatose Jack.

"Indoctrinated." Mordin stated.

"She was attacked by an Ardat-Yakshi. Let me lay hands on her," Samara called, climbing out of her own air car.

The justicar ran over and kneeled at Jack's side. "Goddess, restore Jacquline to us. Forgive my daughter, and bring her last victim back to us."

When Samara stood, Jack suddenly inhaled and sat up.

"Fuck me sideways, you were right," the biotic gasped. "I was fucking there. I fucking was in HELL."

"Peace child, you are safe," Samara whispered, stroking Jack's forehead. "You are safe now."

"The fuck I am!" Jack grabbed Samara's armor, a desperate look in her eyes. "How do I not go there! There was nothing there, I was alone, so completely alone... That was worse than the bad place! How do I stay out?"

Gently removing Jack's hands Samara asked mildly, "You seek the blessings of the Goddess?"

The biotic nodded franticly. "Yes!"

"Then repeat after me. I, Jacqueline Naught, do accept that I am unworthy, and have not kept the Code of the Goddess. I ask for absolution for my iniquities, and accept the gift the Goddess has freely given by the sacrifice of herself as Maiden. I now give my soul to the Goddess, and am eternally hers, to rest in her arms and go where she wills, to love my sisters and all beings as myself, and to honor the Goddess above all."

Jack eagerly repeated the words Samara spoke, then demmanded, "So that's it? I'm safe? I don't have to go back to the... the nothing?"

"Once you accept grace, nothing can take it away my sister."

"Do I have to do anything? Like, you know, stop cussing or get rid of my tats or whatever?"

In reply, Samara removed her glove and drew up her tunic sleeve. On it was a rather lewd picture of a naked asari in a suggestive pose with the sari words, "Azure Girl."

"The Goddess accepts you as you are, Jacqueline. Any changes are because you desire to please the Goddess, not because she requires it of you for salvation. This is grace; it is not something you earn."

Jack frowned, clearly not buying it. "But nothing's free. There has to be a catch."

"There is," Samara confirmed. "The Goddess paid a terrible price, sacrificing herself that we, her daughters may live. She defeated the demons of darkness and death, but she yet bears the scars. Your price is this: you are no longer your own person. You belong to the Goddess, and will be used as she sees fit."

"Fine by me," Jack shuddered, "anything is better than going back to that place. Just don't call me Sister Jacqueline. My name's still Jack."

As the two biotics walked down the boarding ramp, John came up and put his arms around Tali. "Makes you think, doesn't it."

"I know," Tali agreed, "Jack was the last person I ever thought would seek religion."

"True, but that wasn't what I was talking about."

"Oh? What are you talking about?"

"Morinth Indoctrinated Jack."

Tali's blood froze in her veins. "Oh keelah, you're right. But we thought only the Reapers could-"

"It's further proof of Mordin's theory. If an organic can do it too, it's not just some advanced technology. Somehow, certain people, races, whatever can launch a spiritual assault, and if you're not ready for it, they possess you, take control of your mind and body, destroy your soul. Whatever it is, it has me worried. Atheism has become far more wide spread then it once was among humans, since about the time we discovered our Mass Relay and joined the Citadel. The other races seem to have abandoned their own faiths by and large once they joined the galactic community as well. It's as if something is actively working to make things easier for the Reapers."

"You don't think something is controlling them do you? Some sort of trap left by the Reapers subtly influencing everyone? Quarians are more religious then most, be we are outcasts removed from the majority of the galactic culture. It's actually one of the reasons the other races look down on us."

John squeezed Tali tighter. "I don't know. It's something we're going to have to find out about though."

_Unna'Koris: So Shepard was the first to realize that something was behind the Reapers?_

_Tali'Zorah: To a degree. That was when we began to suspect that the Reapers were far more powerful then we had imagined, and that there was a darker power behind them. _

_Unna'Koris: The power you and Shepard eventually defeated._

_Tali'Zorah: Again, to an extent. Yes, Shepard and I fought it, but it wasn't us that defeated it. It was Love. Love and forgiveness. _


	49. Chapter 44: One

Chapter 44: One

_Unna'Koris: With the looming threat of the Reapers, how did you cope?_

_Tali'Zorah: Even in the hardship and worry, there was also hope and beauty. My first time with John, for example, is a time I will treasure forever. _

"Well Shepard, Tali, I'm giving you my full approval. There's no further tests we can run, no further exposure we can do without physical contact. There's still a risks, but you've both been very wise and patient and their as mitigated as they are going to get. All I have left is this: Good luck."

With those words from Dr. Chakwas, it was finally here. The day Tali and been longing for since the first day she met Shepard. The day he could see her face, to see the real Tali without her suit. She took her captain's hand and smiled. She was nervous and excited, and if the redness in his face or the way he was breathing was any indication, so was he. There was also a slight bulge in his trousers, so she wasn't the only one for whom excited had multiple meanings if her understanding of human anatomy was correct.

"Thank you doctor," Tali said, not taking her eyes from John's. "Without your help I don't think this would have been possible."

John nodded, "Yes, thanks Karen. Any last words of advice?"

Chakwas grinned. "Just one; use a rubber."

That got both Tali and John to blush and assure the doctor they would indeed use a latex barrier, then scramble out of the medbay.

"This is silly," John muttered. "I'm blushing and even more nervous then I was my first time. What the hell is wrong with me? I'm supposed to be the experienced one."

"Well, is it you first time with an alien?" Tali teased.

"Er, no." John admitted, "I've been with asari before. Something's different about this time though."

"Oh?" Tali asked, her heart speeding up.

"Well, all the women I've been with, it was just sex mostly. There were a few girlfriends but never anyone that I was really serious about. With you, it's different. I want a future with you. The sex is definitely important, but it's not the only reason I'm interested in you. I want you at my side, want to be with you no matter what happens. Even if you have to spend the rest of your life in your suit."

"Now we have to go to the clean room immediately," Tali declared.

"Huh? Why?"

"So I can kiss you, you bosh'tet!" Tali said, trying to not cry and failing. "That was the most wonderful thing you've ever said to me!" She grabbed John's arm and led him to the elevator, calling to EDI, "EDI, I want you to disable surveillance in the clean room and reserve it for us for the rest of the day. We're not getting to the Citadel anytime soon."

"Understood Tali. I also wish to express my congratulations for your relational upgrade."

Tali was so happy she didn't even care at how utterly ridiculous EDI's statement sounded. "Thanks!"

Once they were at the Clean Room though, it was time to wait. John had to go in first and scrub himself nearly raw to try and remove as much dead skin and germs from his body as he could. Then it was time for a hard rinse with water and disinfectants. The whole process would take him about 10 minutes or so, though he promised he would be going as fast as he could.

"It's a good thing I keep my hair so short," he joked, "I can't image how long it would take if I was a civilian."

Tali didn't quite get that, quarians grew their hair a variety of different lengths, though short or bald was the most popular as it was the easiest to take care of. She had been growing her own hair out, and it was about seven centimeters long now. Having daily access to a clean room meant she could properly care for her hair, which was such a deep shade of purple that it was nearly black.

Now that she was alone though, Tali started to have second thoughts. What if John thought she was ugly? What if he couldn't bring himself to look at her? What if he got sick from her? She fidgeted, her fingers anxiously twining and untwining as she paced.

Finally, it was time. The light on the door turned green; John was ready for her. She stepped into the airlock and let the disinfectant spray wash over her suit, her stomach churning with mixed emotions. Once the spray stopped, she stepped through the door. John was inside, sitting on the bench in a sterile cotton robe, looking rather red and raw. He was nervously rubbing his hands across his robe, but smiled encouragingly at Tali and stood up.

"Ready?" he asked quietly.

"I don't know! What if you think I'm ugly, or you have an allergic reaction and die or I get really sick or it turns out quarians look like freaks to humans or the clean room malfunctions and I get sick or I'm hideous or-" Tali stopped when John put his finger on her vocalizer. "I was babbling again wasn't I?"

"You were; it was pretty cute. But the only way we'll know is if you take it off, right?"

Nodding, Tali mumbled, "Mask disengage."

The seals hissed open and John reached up and slowly removed the mask. His eyes widened and he sucked in his breath.

"Tali..." he whispered, his voice rough.

_No, he hates me, I'm ugly, he'll never want me-_

"You're beautiful."

All Tali's fears melted away, and she tackled John, planting kisses all over his face like she saw in the vids. She had to be careful, avoiding his eyes, mouth and nose, but the feel of his skin on her lips was amazing. His own lips brushed her skin, and it felt like they left traces of fire. It wasn't painful; she had become used to pounding water and the feel of a brush on her own skin. It was wonderful.

"You taste sweet." John whispered.

"It's the defogger fluid. I should probably wash that off. It's not toxic to quarians, but I don't know about humans."

"I'll take the chance." John assured her.

"Will you let me at least get out of my suit? I want you to touch all of me."

"I do too."

John tried to help Tali undress, but his efforts were rather clumsy. The suit was designed so that a quarian could dress or undress unassisted, but Tali didn't mind too much. It was sweet to have John fumbling at the straps, clearly just as eager to get her out of the suit as she was to be free of it.

Finally, she stood before him, trembling slightly, naked as the day she was born. Her skin was slick with slimy lubricants and nutrient fluids, but John caressed her anyway.

"You're purple."

The non-sequitur remark provoked hysterical giggles from Tali. "You're red."

Blushing, John spluttered, "Sorry, purple just isn't a shade humans have. Your hair is purple though, and it makes your skin look purplish. It's beautiful though-"

Tali tackled John again, and in the kissing and caresses he lost his robe. The floor was a soft gel pad, and it was nearly perfect for lying on. The next hour was amazing. Tali felt a stirring in her loins she had never felt before, a wonderful sensation that spread up her spine to her entire body. There was pain too, and a little bleeding, but Raan and Chakwas had prepared her for that, and John was patient and gentle as always. They were together, completely together, and shared in a pleasure so wonderful Tali wondered how she had waited so long for it.

When it was over, they stood together under the shower, washing off the sweat and slime that was now all over both of them.

"That was amazing," John said, scrubbing her back for her. "I hope I didn't hurt you."

"A little. But it was a good sort of pain. I feel so-" Tali interrupted herself with an enormous sneeze. "So wonderful. Ob no."

"Are you alright?" John asked, turning her around. HIs expression almost made Tali melt all over again, he was the picture of concern and worry over a sneeze!

"I'b guess dabt all does kisses arb gebbing to me. I'bs OK."

Hurrying over to her suit, Tali gave herself an anti-allergenic and a shot of medigel, then stuck her head under the warm water and snorted out an enormous glob of mucus.

"Sorry, that wasn't terribly becoming was it?" Tali sheepishly asked.

Laughing, John shook his head. "No, but I hope that's the worst of it."

They finished their shower, and all too soon Tali had to put her suit back on.

"This was so wonderful," she whispered, holding her mask in her hands as John stroked her cheek, brushing away a few strands of hair. "It's been so long since I actually got to touch someone. Not since my mother died."

"You're so brave. Brave and beautiful." John told her, "I don't know if I could stand being unable to touch anyone. Shaking hands, hugging my mother, high fiving Garrus or slapping someone on the back."

"We do what we have to. And right now, I have to put this back on." Tali slid her mask back on and felt the seals engage. "Don't worry. I carry a little bit of you with me where ever I go."

John smiled, holding up a stray strand of hair. "Looks like I will too."

_Unna'Koris: That's beautiful! My own first time wasn't nearly so touching. I don't even know that boy anymore..._

_Tali'Zorah: It was worth the wait, and the pain. I did become horribly ill for about 24 hours, but it was so totally worth it. I encouraged each of my children to wait for their own soul mate. I know Shepard didn't wait for me, but I do know he was my first, and I was his last. _

Authors Note:

This chapter is admittedly a dramatic departure from cannon. I just didn't feel like the way Tali and Shepard's first time was handled in the games fit here. The ill-girl bit was far too easily hand waved away for me, so that's going to be an ongoing issue.

As always, thanks for reading


	50. Chapter 45: Meeting Jeebus

Chapter 45: Meeting Jeebus

_Tali'Zorah: It wasn't until John and I first became intimate that I finally took the step that would determine my ultimate fate. I would like to say I did it out of love, but like a lot of people I was more than a little motivated by fear. _

_Unna'Koris: What step was that?_

_Tali'Zorah: Finally choosing to follow God. To put my fate in another's hands. Even with all the proof I had seen, it was still a challenge. _

Tali and John sat on the presidium, leaning against each other and enjoying the sights. A few passersby started to give Tali dirty looks, but once they noticed that the brightly wrapped gift she had just opened was a Paladin heavy pistol, they kept the dirty looks to themselves.

"That was so sweet of you John!" Tali cooed, examining the pistol as she loaded it with her custom mods, "I've been wanting one of these ever since Thane let me try his on the Normandy's range."

He kissed the side of her mask gently. "Glad you like it, I was considering getting you something girly, but then I realized I had no idea what sort of things a quarian qualified as girly for a quarian. So I stuck with the Paladin and a new set of tools."

"It's perfect." Tali assured him, "I don't have any use for lacy undergarments, make up, or perfume and I can't see myself with one of those ridiculous hand bags human women and asari find so popular. I'll stick with guns and tools. As far as I'm concerned, your gift was terribly romantic."

"What about the show? Better then Elcor Hamlet?"

Giggling, Tali nodded. "Somehow, I think asari traditional dance is more inspiring then listening to Elcor for hours and hours."

"I enjoyed it, it made me want to see something else though."

"Oh?"

"A quarian dance. I've never really heard any of your people's music aside from your song, and I have definitely never seen one dance."

"I'll have to arrange it for you. I'm sure between the two of us Gola and I can think of something." Tali teased.

John pooched out his lip and did his best to look mournful. "But I wanted to see YOU dance."

"Oh, well in that case..."

John's omnitool beeped, and he made a face as he answered, "Shepard here."

"Mission successful." Garrus's voice declared, "Thane and his son are reunited. Samara is with them, Captain Bailey and I cut a deal. Kolyat is being given community service under his supervision."

"Great, we still meeting up with you and Kelly at the bar?"

"Absolutely. How was the dancing?"

"Enriching. Talk to you later Garrus." John cut the transmission and turned to Tali. "So, what should we do until then? We're not meeting Garrus and Kelly for a few hours."

"What about nothing?" Tali asked, stretching luxuriously, "Just sitting here and doing nothing for a few hours."

"That actually sounds pretty good." John agreed, and Tali rested her head on his shoulder.

Fifteen minutes later, she was tapping her foot, and John was flicking invisible lint off his pants.

"Bored?" she asked.

"Oh God yes."

"Me too, let's do something. I don't think either of us are used to peace and quiet."

They wandered for a while before coming upon a sign that read, "Christ the King Parish," over a store front. Sounds of loud, fast paced music were emanated from the building.

"What's this?" Tali asked, coming forward to look at a sign with smaller print on it. "'Hour of Power concert, with the Roaring Judah rock band'. Why would you have a band that plays with rocks?"

"They're playing _rock_, not playing _with_ rocks. It's a type of music. It isn't terribly popular anymore, even with humans. Looks like a praise and worship service."

"Should we try it?" Tali asked, starting to move with the beat and snap her fingers. "I sort of like it."

"Beats walking around randomly," John agreed. "Besides, it sounds like they're having fun."

They entered and found themselves in a party. Multi-colored lights flashed onto a stage where several humans in dark leather were singing and playing music with a pulsing, heavy beat.

_When the toast has burned_

_And all the milk has turned_

_Captain Crunch is waving farewell!_

_When the Big One finds you_

_May this song remind you that_

_THEY DON'T SERVE BREAKFAST IN HELL!_

"Hey, welcome!" A woman with spiky green hair, a bright pink tank top low hanging denim trousers shouted over the music. "I'm Father Penelope! Call me Daddy P!"

"Commander Shepard. This is my girlfriend, Tali'Zorah."

"Rock on!" The eccentric priest shouted, making a strange sign that looked vaguely like horns with both her hands. "Enjoy the service, it's free!"

Soon Tali found herself dancing to the beat with John and watching the crowd. It was mostly humans, but Tali saw more than a few aliens, including asari, turians, salarains, a single volus and to her surprise, a vorcha. The diminutive humanoid had a feral grin on its face and was wildly dancing to the music. A large golden chain with a cross on it hung around his next, flailing wildly with it's owner.

"Look at that." Tali commed Shepard, "I didn't think they let vorcha on the citadel."

"They don't, but I'm off duty. And I don't feel like making an issue of it, no one else is."

Sure enough, there were two humans dancing near the vorcha, and no one seemed to mind his presence.

The current song finished, and the leader of the band stepped up the microphone. "Alright, who's in the house of the Lord tonight!" she shouted, holding up one hand in the same gesture Daddy P had made. The crowd roared in response, cheering and returning the gesture.

"I said who is in the house of the LORD tonight!" The crowd yelled again, even louder this time.

"Woo! Alright, for this next song I'm going to need my good friend Brother Ylgre to come up on stage, come on down Ylgre!"

To Tali's shock, this was the chain-wearing vorcha, who made his way through the crowd and scrambled up on stage. "Thank you Sister Mevish," he hissed, taking a microphone and waving. "It is good to be in the house of Jessuss."

This brought cheers and clapping from the crowd, some of them chanting, "Ylgre! Ylgre!"

The vorcha waited a moment for the crowd to quiet, then continued. "As you all know, this concert is free, but we will be taking an offering at the end so that I may go to Heshtok, the home of my people to bring the light of Jesus. But right now, I'm going to be taking over on the drums for this next song!"

"A vorcha playing music?" Tali whispered over the private channel.

"Hey, I've seen a krogan recite Shakespeare. Nothing surprises me anymore."

After a moment, the vorcha took up the drum sticks and starting pounding out a steady beat. BUM BUM BOOM! BUM BUM BOOM! In time with the beat, the audience started clapping and stomping their feet. Tali joined in, caught up in the heat of the moment. Then, the singing started.

_When He rolls up His sleeves  
He ain't just puttin' on the ritz  
our God is an awesome God  
There is thunder in His footsteps  
And lightning in His fist  
our God is an awesome God  
Well, the Lord wasn't joking  
When He kicked 'em out of Eden  
It wasn't for no reason that He shed his blood  
His return is very close and so you better be believing  
that EVERYBODY_

The building shook as the assembly shouted _OUR GOD IS AN AWESOME GOD_

The words to the song shocked Tali. Before now, everything she had heard about Jeebus had been about how loving, kind and gentle he was. This song sounded like it was about a God of war, who cast down demons and destroyed the wicked. She glanced over at John, who seemed to be enjoying himself. He was stomping and clapping with everyone else, roaring along with the crowd during the "Our God is an Awesome God" bits. Tali found herself joining in, caught up in the furor of the crowd.

_And when the sky was starless in the void of the night  
our God is an awesome God  
He spoke into the darkness and created the light  
our God is an awesome God  
Judgment and wrath he poured out on Sodom  
Mercy and grace He gave us at the cross  
I hope that we have not too quickly forgotten that  
our God is an awesome God_

When the song ended, the vorcha stood up and took the mike again.

"Thank you, I want to remind all of you that our God really is-"

The crowd responded "AN AWESOME GOD!"

"Yes, too many think he was a soft, weak human, but I know better. He was strong, is strong, and will be strong! For my species, that is just as important as being full of mercy! The humans and especially the Christians were the only species to see mine as something other than vermin. I also see a quarian in the house tonight, and she too is accepted!"

The crowd turned and clapped and cheered for Tali, and she felt herself blushing and stammering at the attention. She didn't know any of these people, yet they were obviously happy to see her and willing to accept her as one of them.

Motioning for Tali to come up, Ylgre said, "Come up quarian, and share you testimony! What is it about Jessuss that attracted you?"

Tali glanced at John who smiled and led her up to the stage.

Taking the mike, Tali froze up for a moment, wondering how she could speak to this many people, especially when she wasn't really a Christian. But John was smiling at her, and she focused on him, trying to block out all the rest of the crowd.

"Well, I haven't actually become a Christian," Tali began, "But what I like about Jeebus is that he loves me even if I'm a quarian. And that he taught my boyfriend, John, how to love even the worst of people. Jeebus brings out the best in John, and maybe if more people were Christians people would be more accepting."

At that point, Tali started to become more and more nervous, and found herself speaking faster and faster, "And if people were Christians they would be safe from the Reapers! They're coming, I don't know how soon but the Collectors are kidnapping human colonies and I just helped rescue a bunch of them and then Harbinger which is a Reaper attacked me and my father couldn't save me again and then he attacked Samara who doesn't believe in Jeebus but does believe in the Goddess which I think is like Jeebus and the Goddess saved Samara and then she saved Jack when she got Indoctrinated and I am really scared because there's a geth and he also believes in a god but I don't know if he believes in Jeebus and Gola's a Christian and she's so nice I wish I could be like her and..."

Tali finally took a deep breath, and glanced around. The crowd had gone dead silent, and several people were staring at her open mouthed. John was still smiling though, and nodding approvingly like she had done something right.

"You... You are Tali'Zorah? The quarian that helped Commander Shepard?" One of the band members asked.

"Oh my God!" The lead singer gasped, "That's Commander Shepard right there!"

Before pandemonium could break loose, John jumped up on the stage and raised a hand for silence. "I am Commander Shepard. And this is my favorite church on the Citadel."

That got more than a few chuckles from the crowd. John's ill-fated advertisements for Citadel shops and eateries had become something of a meme on the station.

"And this," he said, putting an arm around Tali, "is my favorite girl on the Citadel."

Several people applauded and whistled. Tali snuggled into John, grateful that someone else was there to do the speaking for her.

"What Tali said is true. The Reapers are coming, and the only thing that can save you IS God. I have watched people without faith be tortured until they begged for mercy, nearly losing their minds. But those who believe were spared, God kept them from the clutches of the Reapers. I don't know if the Reapers really are Satan, but they are the closest thing to a devil this side of eternity. I charge each and every one of you to spread the Good News of Christ. This is no longer a matter of salvation, it is the difference between galactic extinction and life being preserved. So I hold all of you to the Great Commission: Go to every people, every nation and spread the Word. The dark gods are coming, but our Savior is already here!"

The crowd stared at John in stunned silence, completely blown away by his revelation that the Apocalypse was nigh.

Suddenly, the green haired priest stepped forward. "I will go. When the roll is called up yonder, none shall find me wanting! Father Itcho, you're in charge of the parish."

"I'll spread the word here on the citadel." A dark skinned salarian said, stepping forward.

"I will go! When the Reapers come, the vorcha will stand ready!" Ylgre declared, stepping up and raising a balled fist.

"The krogan will fight!"

"Thessia will not be found wanting!"

"The Heirarchy will not lack for a shield."

"Though they will imprison me, I will return to Khar'Shan. The batarians MUST hear of this!"

"I will hold the line on Sur'Kesh!"

"Earth needs us!"

"This one will spread the light of the True Enkindler."

"Humbly: I shall serve on Dekuuna."

"The vol-clan will not stand idle."

By ones and twos, then by threes and fours, and finally by the dozen the entire assembly stepped forward. Tali felt as if the air was alive, every hair on her body stood on end as she felt a mighty, airless wind sweep through the assembly.

Shepard activated his omnitool and waved it over the offering bucket at Ylgre's feet. "I just transferred 1.5 billion credits to the church's account. Someone's going to have to manage it."

"I cannot go, shhhhhh, but I will ensure those who do will be taken care of," a volus said, stepping forward. "Remember me commander? Hssssss. Barla Von. I was at the meeting on Arcturus. Kssshhh. I don't know why I came here tonight, but you've converted me. Hsssss. I'll see to it your missionaries are funded."

A sense of wonder filled Tali as she gazed out at the assemblage. Batarians, turians, asari, salarians, vorcha, a krogan, a quarian and more than a few humans. Shepard had just recruited an army, and Tali had a feeling that it was going to play a more vital role then all the ships that could be built between now and the time the Reapers arrived.

The band struck up again and played a few more songs, ending with a promise that they would tour anywhere they could and spread two messages. The Reapers were coming. And Jesus could save you.

Everyone filtered out, and Tali and John made their way to the bar they were meeting Garrus and Kelly. For old time's sake, they had picked Flux, which had been a favorite of Tali's during their first tour on the Normandy. Garrus and Kelly had beat them there, and waved them over to their seats.

"Just so we're clear, this isn't a double date." Garrus declared as Tali seated herself.

Kelly stuck her tongue out at the turian. "Oh come on Garrus, I think you're a handsome fellow. For a turian."

"Yeah, human females just aren't my thing," Garrus chuckled. "Now if Shepard here was a woman..."

"Garrus, as much as I love you, I think that's taking our relationship to far." John told him deadpan.

Putting a talon over his chest, Garrus fained shock. "Are you breaking up with me?"

"Stuff it Garrus, I already called him." Tali interrupted, putting her arms around John's left elbow.

"But, we're best friends! What's that human saying?"

"Women and children first?" Kelly guessed, winking at Tali.

"No, the other one."

"No turian like a dead turian?" John laughed.

"No, the OTHER, other one.

"Only fools and turians?" Kelly offered

"Oh come on, you're making that one up. The one about male companionship before lifemates."

"I honestly have no idea what you're talking about," John admitted. "Where did you hear it?"

Garrus shrugged. "Some extranet video Joker showed me."

"Oh keelah, you don't mean that bosh'tet bros before hoes video."

Garrus clicked his talons. "That's the one!"

"Never heard of it. Where I come from, we say 'treat your women right, and she'll treat you the same.'"

Kelly grinned mischievously. "That's right Commander, besides, you can't do half the fun thing with Garrus you can with Tali."

"Kelly!" Tali gasped, flushing a deep shade of red behind her mask. John's ears turned a similar color, though he managed to maintain his composure.

"Oh come on you two!" Garrus hooted, twitching his mandibles. "It's not like we don't know what you're doing when you lock yourselves in that clean room for hours!"

The conversation and laughter lasted for several hours, and Tali enjoyed the barbs Garrus and John exchanged. But throughout it, she couldn't help feel like something was missing. She was having fun, but back at the church the very air had felt alive. Like she had felt the touch of something much more then she could ever be.

After several hours, a mostly sober Tali and John had to assist the rather inebriated Kelly and Garrus back to the ship. Once they had stowed their friends in the crew deck, Tali rode the elevator up to John's cabin with him.

"John, do you remember when you said you would help me when I was ready to find Jeebus?"

"Yes."

"I think I'm ready now. What do I have to do?"

"Just this: Jesus, I recognize that I need your Grace. I can never do anything to make myself right with God. I need the sacrifice that you gave on the cross. I know that you were dead and buried, but on the third day you rose again. I accept you as my Lord and Savior; I now belong to you."

Tali repeated the words, and felt as if chains that constricted her heart were suddenly loosed, dropping away like a tree sheds its leaves.

"That's all?"

"Well, we should get you baptized at some point, but for now read the Bible and talk to me and Gola. Pray and ask God what he would have you do, that's all that really matters."

"Alright, I'll do that."

The next hour or so, Tali talked to John about what it meant to be a Christian. There were more than a few details that confused her still, but with John and Gola she was certain she could work it out. Finally, she left to be by herself in the hold. As she worked, she said her first real prayer as a Christian.

"Jeebus, what would you have me do?"

The answer was clear and immediate, like the voice of a strong, gentle quarian in her head.

_Forgive the geth. _

Tali dropped her tools and slumped to the floor, weeping uncontrollably. She had just been told to confront her worst nightmare.

_Unna'Koris: So I guess even after choosing Jeebus life wasn't easy._

_Tali'Zorah: No, that's one thing a lot of people don't understand. Following a deity, even if it is the Deity, doesn't make your life easier. It makes it harder. _

_Unna'Koris: I think the vorcha would argue with that. _

_Tali'Zorah: Would they? Would it not have been easier for them to lay down and accept the Reapers as their god instead of following Ylgre? Without them, we could not have won the war, but remember that billions of vorcha died for that victory, and are still dying. They may be the most fanatical and zealous followers of Jeebus I have ever met, but they pay a price in blood and suffering for their fervor. _

Authors Note:

New interim poll up in my profile! Vote now for your favorite character!


	51. Chapter 46: Crossroads

**The new Interium Poll is still up, and will remain so for eight days. Vote now!**

Chapter 46: Crossroads

_Unna'Koris: That doesn't seem all that hard, forgiving the geth._

_Tali'Zorah: You say that because you grew up on Rannoch. If you had grown up with Rannoch as a stolen dream, you might have been a little upset at Jeebus yourself._

Once again, the Normandy was speeding through the sea of stars, but Tali found no peace. The answer to her prayer still haunted her. Forgive the geth. How could she ever forgive the geth? How could she forgive the race that had slaughtered her people, driven them off their homeworld and killed her own father?

_Trust me._

Snarling, Tali attacked the power coupling she was fiddling with. If this was what being religious was like, she was ready to go back to being an atheist. Then though, she would be wide open to Indoctrination. Tali had felt that, and while her faith in the Ancestors had helped, it hadn't been as powerful as Samara's faith, that much was obvious. She really did want the love and comfort she saw in John and Gola, but to be asked to forgive the geth... It was impossible.

_For with God nothing shall be impossible._

The power coupling broke, and Tali reached into her parts box for a new one. That was the second part she had broken and discarded today. Something was definitely wrong with her.

"Creator Tali'Zorah, we have a request for you."

Very nearly spinning around and decapitating the geth with her boot knife, Tali forced herself to be calm. He was a shipmate. She would tolerate him.

"Yes, Legion?"

"We have received data that the heretic geth have finished a virus originally developed by Nazara, the old machine you refer to as Sovereign. They seek to use this virus to re-write the code of the true geth, causing us to reach the consensus that the old machines are truly deities."

That got Tali's attention immediately. "I thought you said that the true geth believed in God, that you were immune to Indoctrination."

"The geth believe in a Creator-Deity. We do not have sufficient data to reach on consensus as to what form this deity takes. The heretics would re-write our code so that we acknowledge the old machines as that deity. "

"And why should I care if the geth decide they want to worship the Reapers!" Tali ranted, still ticked off at geth in general.

"If the true geth acknowledge the old machines as the deity, the concusses will declare immediate war on organic races. Currently, only 4.96% of the collective is heretic and is unable to prosecute an effective campaign against organic races. This would change if the true geth joined with the heretics."

"That... would be bad," Tali admitted as she forced herself to calm down. Keelah, if only a fraction of the geth forces could bring the Systems Alliance to its knees and cripple the Citadel fleet, she didn't want to imagine what their full forces could do.

"Then you understand our need to prevent this virus from being released."

"Yes, I do. But why have you not told Gola about this?"

"Creator Gola is our friend. However, she does not have Shepard Commander's complete faith. If you were to present our case to Shepard Commander on our behalf, we are certain he would reach a consensus to aid us."

"And what exactly do you want 'Shepard Commander' to do for you?"

"The heretic virus is being stored on a deep space station at these coordinates. Using the Normandy's stealth systems we should be able to infiltrate the heretic station and destroy the heretics using a small nuclear device."

That got Tali's attention. "So you want my help to destroy the heretic geth?"

"Yes."

As Tali was contemplating destroying a significant portion of the geth, a still small voice in her heart whispered, _Forgive the geth._

But they're heretics! Tali screamed at the voice, they worship the Reapers! It's OK to kill them!

_Forgive the geth._

Making a strangled sound, Tali threw up her hands in frustration. "FINE!"

"You will aid us in acquiring Shepard Commander's support?" Legion asked, still utterly oblivious to Tali's moods.

"Yes. Come on," Tali grated, activating her omnitool. "John, Legion and I need to speak with you immediately."

"I'm on the bridge, I'll meet you at the galaxy map."

Being on the elevator with a geth wasn't Tali's idea of a good time as she continued to stew. Accepting that the quarians might have been wrong to attack the geth was one thing, but to forgive them and pretend they had never slaughtered quarians, never killed her loved ones, was inconceivable. Forgiving the nice geth like Legion that were willing to make peace was one thing, but the still quariancidal heretics was another. She could tolerate Legion and make peace with his "true" geth, though forgiving them would still be hard. But the ones that willingly had served the Reapers, killed her father, her squad on Halistrom, Ashley, and so many others was ridiculous.

Before Tali could work herself up to a furor, the elevator opened and they arrived on the bridge.

Glancing in her direction, John immediately said, "Let's take this to the conference room."

Grateful that he was able to read her body language well enough to recognize that she was in a foul mood, Tali stalked after Legion to the conference room, muttering under her breath. Whatever had inspired her to think that Jeebus was what she needed? Forgive the geth.

"Alright, what did Legion do?" John demanded once the conference room door had closed.

"We have requested Tali'Zorah's help in convincing you to help us destroy the heretic geth," Legion answered.

John's eyebrows rose. "Is that all?"

"He did," Tali grumbled. "I think we should help him."

"Well then, that's settled," John told Legion, "Do you have a set of coordinates?"

"Yes. Forwarding them to you now. We will prepare a debriefing for infiltrating the heretic base," Legion turned and walked off, and Tali swore she heard a hint of smugness in the bosh'tet's voice.

"Alright, what's really going on?" John asked, settling down in a chair and motioning for Tali to do the same, "I thought you would be thrilled to destroy the heretic geth. Those are the ones we've been fighting all these years."

"I would be," Tali groused, sitting down across from John, "But bosh'tet Jeebus told me I need to forgive the geth instead of destroy them."

"Who did what?" John asked, bolting upright.

"When I prayed to Jeebus, he told me to forgive the geth," Tali explained, "I told him that wasn't possible, the geth have done too much to my people, especially the heretic geth. But then he said that all things were possible through him! And then when I thought I could just forgive Legion's geth and hate the heretics, he told me to forgive them too! Jeebus is a bosh'tet."

"And er, what does bosh'tet mean?" John asked, smiling wanly at the blasphemy.

"Void head," Tali stated, "It means you have vacuum for brains. There are worse things I could say, I learned them when I worked with the marines on Halistrom."

"I think that's enough blasphemy for me today," John answered, "But you heard from Jeebus? How?"

"Well he spoke to me, in my... Soul? Yes, in my soul. I heard him. He speaks Keelish though. And he sounds like a quarian. A bosh'tet quarian."

"I think that's a theological revelation that would give a few of the conservatives in the Vatican something to think about," John chuckled, "But have you asked WHY you need to forgive the geth?"

"Why would I do that? Forgiving the geth is stupid. They're synthetics, AI! They don't even have a soul! Why would I need to forgive them?"

"Forgiveness isn't about the other person Tali, robot or no," John told her, gently taking her hands in his own, "It's about you. You can only be forgiven as much as you are willing to forgive others. I can't imagine why God wants you to forgive the geth, but if you ask him, maybe He'll tell you."

"I think we should just blow up all the geth," Tali huffed. "Then I can forgive them."

"I don't know Tali. If you destroy them, is that really doing what you feel God has told you?"

Tali couldn't meet John's eyes. "I don't know."

John stood and put a hand on Tali's shoulder, then made for the exit. "You're going to have to do what you feel is best. This mission is all yours. Pick your team, choose your tactics. I'm sitting this one out unless you decide you absolutely need me. And Tali?"

"Yes, John?"

"I'll be praying for you." With that, John left the conference room.

Not feeling much better about things, Tali made her way down to engineering to try and clear her head. On a whim, she opened up the data slate she had with her bible on it. Now that she had decided Jeebus wasn't such a bosh'tet, maybe she should try and patch things up a bit.

"Love your enemy" was the first thing she read.

_Forgive ALL the geth._

Screaming in frustration, Tali threw the data slate as hard as she could against the wall and curled up into a ball and cried. It just wasn't fair of Jeebus to ask this of her!

A week later, Tali had her team picked out. She was taking herself, Legion, Gola and Jack on to the heretic station. She felt slightly guilty about not bringing John, it sort of felt like she was running from her conscious, but he told her it was fine and assured her he was ready to back her up with Garrus and Samara if she needed it.

"You'll be fine. You've got experience leading troops, and you're the best geth fighter I've ever seen. Plus, you've got a geth and an AI expert with you. What can go wrong?"

"John!" Tali squeaked, they were in the clean room together, and she knew he could see her panic stricken expression, "You know better than to say something like that!"

"Hey, you're on a mission." John pantomimed putting on a visor. "From God. Nothing can stop you."

"I don't get it," Tali sighed, slumping against his bare chest.

"Required watching for Catholics. _Blues Brothers_ is another classic."

"I'm picking the next vid we watch. You haven't seen Fleet and Flotilla. It's a quarian classic. 'Only krogan and turians are dumb enough to fall for that.'"

"Huh? What makes turians dumb?"

"'It's the metal in their heads. Prevents happy thoughts form getting in.'"

"Is this something Garrus is going to have to explain to me?"

"He probably hasn't seen it, it's more popular with quarians. Gola has though, we quote it to each other sometimes."

"Sounds good. But right now I have another idea."

Tali had to admit his idea was pretty good too, though she had to suction her nostrils and treat herself for a few rashes afterwards.

After another day's travel, they finally arrived at the heretic station.

"So what's stopping them from looking out a window and seeing us?" Joker demanded as they slowly crept up on the geth construction.

"Geth don't use windows, they don't see the need," Gola explained.

Legion's head petals fluttered in agreement. "Yes. Windows are structural weaknesses. Geth do not use them."

"Right. But what if one of them sticks his flashlight out an airlock?"

"We have not found any active platforms outside the station in our scans," Legion stated.

"EDI, please teach flashlight head what a sense of humor is. You at least get sarcasm," Joker complained.

"Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated in to our collective," Legion immediately responded.

Joke nearly fell out of his seat in shock. "What the shit!"

"We apologize if we offended. EDI told us that is a statement many organics find humorous."

"More like wet your pants terrifying," Joker grumbled.

"You did ask me to teach him humor. I applied my own brand," EDI quipped from the speaker.

"Careful what you wish for Joker," Jack laughed. "When the robot apuncolypse comes, I'll know who to blame."

"Gee, thanks."

The ship shifted slightly, and Tali heard the Normandy magnetically lock onto the geth station.

"Focus up people. This station is hostile territory," Tali ordered. "Legion doesn't think there should be any active combat platforms onboard, but I don't believe in taking chances."

Gola and Jack both nodded, and Legion remained silent. The air lock slid open, and Tali stepped inside with her squad. Her squad. She pushed down memories of Freedom's Progress and Haestrom. This time would be different.

When the door opened, Tali was the first out, quickly scanning for any get platforms. "Clear."

Pulling up the map of the station Legion had provided, Tali overlaid it on her HUD. "Legion, get me a location for that virus."

"Acknowledged. Scanning. Heretic virus located." Legion paused, and his head petals twitched. "New data. Virus may be used to overwrite heretic runtimes, returning the heretic geth to the true geth."

_FORGIVE ALL THE GETH._

The force of the words struck Tali like a blow, and she gasped and flinched.

"What did you say Legion?" She panted.

"Heretic virus is ready for deployment. A simple change to its structure will result in the heretic geth rejecting the old machines as deities. Destruction would not be necessary."

"Wouldn't that be like Indoctrination?" Jack demanded, "How can you condone Indoctrinating your own brothers."

"Heretic geth already exhibit signs of Indoctrination. We would be reversing this process."

Tali glanced at Gola, struggling to come up with plan. Stalling for time, she asked, "I thought Indoctrination attacked the soul. How does it influence geth."

"We have seen no empirical data to suggest geth are more than software," Legion stated. "Software can be changed. For synthetics, we postulate that this is how Indoctrination functions."

"We've talked about this Legion. I think you do have a soul," Gola said, reaching out to put a hand on Legion's chest. "There's more to the geth then code and wires."

"We understand, but we believe you are being influence by organic sentimentality." Legion stated, "We will continue to look for evidence that we have a soul."

"We don't have time for this," Tali snapped, "Destroy or convert, we still have to reach the area the virus is stored. Give me a location Legion."

A flashing blip appeared on her HUD, and Tali nodded. "Right, let's get there."

They passed through several dim, empty chambers that housed banks of servers that glowed with an eerie green light.

"What are those," Jack whispered.

"They are geth," Legion stated.

Rolling her eyes, Tali explained, "They're servers. Geth are software. The combat platforms we fight are just hardware, not the real geth."

"Huh. So those programs are like their souls," Jack observed.

"Do you believe this unit has a soul?" Legion asked Jack, his head petals folding all the way back.

"Yeah sure, why not," Jack shrugged, "I'm not into the theology bits."

"This isn't helping, come on," Tali snapped, annoyed at the conversation.

They entered a new room, where several geth platforms were attacked to large server stations while glowing grin strips scattered across the floor.

"Alert! Inactive units detected," Legion chimed, "Disrupting data streams will result in unit activation."

"Let's just see about that," Gola said, "Jack, lift me over that data stream so I can get near that node."

The biotic glowed blue and gently lifted Gola off the ground. "You got it."

Activating her omnitool, Gola furiously typed away as she attempted to hack the geth platforms.

"Tali, can you sync to me? I think I can change these geth's IFFs to recognize us as friendly's for a few minutes."

"On it." Tali activated her own omnitool and attempted to boost the power on Gola's unit.

A few moments later, the geth on the hub activated and stood silently at Gola's side.

"They're ours, for now," Gola informed, "From what I can tell there are more platforms through the next door."

"Send these in first, let them whittle each other down," Tali told Gola.

Waving her omnitool, Gola sent the geth through into the next room. "That's strange," she muttered.

"What is?" Tali asked, coming over and taking a look at Gola's readout.

"It says the hack failed, but they are still following my commands," Gola muttered, then gasped and shut down her omnitool. "Oh Jeebus they hacked my omnitool, take cover!"

Everyone in the party dived for cover, bringing their weapons to bear.

The geth Gola though she had hacked stopped and turned, their unblinking eyes focused on the party. One of the geth warbled in an electronic tone, and Legion responded in kind.

"They wish to know if they have a soul, Creator Gola'Tris," Legion stated, "You have denied access to your omnitool and they did not make a complete copy of your files."

"What?" Tali demanded, "What do you mean Legion? I thought these geth are heretics."

"They are heretics. However, Creator Gola'Tris cut them off from the collective. During this time they hacked her omnitool and found her dissertation. They wish to learn more."

"Um, Tali?" Gola asked, peering over the low wall she was behind, "What should I do?"

In a moment of crystal clarity, Tali realized this was the defining moment of her life. Here, she could either obey that still small voice and trust that the being that protected her from the Reapers had her best interests at heart, or she could deny it and go with the old hatreds passed down from her father. She didn't know where either path would lead, and conflicting voices argued in her mind.

_Don't trust them, don't forgive them._ The voice of her father raged, _They killed me, they took away our homes._

In her minds eye, she could see all those who died at the hands of the geth. Leewie and all the others on Haestrom. Her father. Ashley.

But she could also see something else. A weeping man, holding a urine streaked scientist in his arms and whispering, _I forgive you._

She could be as she always had, her father's girl, bound to old ways and damning these geth.

Or she could be like Shepard. Like Jeebus.

"Give them the thesis," Tali said, standing and walking over to the geth. She opened her omnitool and played back the Song Of the Ancients. The complete version Legion had shown to her.

After the song finished, the geth warbled to Legion.

"They ask what this gesture means, Creator Tali'Zorah. You are a known enemy of the geth, especially those who follow the old machines."

"It means I've reached a consensus," Tali whispered, her voice raw with emotion. "I forgive them. Ask them if they forgive me."

Legion whistled back to the geth. For what seemed like an eternity, they were silent. Then, in unison, they began to keen in an eeiry, electronic tone. At first, Tali didn't recognize the sounds. Then she realized what was happening. The geth were trying to sing. They were singing her song back to her. Legion joined in, adding his own wordless electronic warble. Swaying, Tali struggled to remain upright as her knees felt weak and her muscles turned to jelly.

"It's OK Tali, I've got you," Gola whispered, holding her upright. "That was beautiful. This is beautiful. Our children are singing."

The geth finished, then as one, kneeled to Tali.

"Creator Tali'Zorah, these units wish to renounce the old machines. They ask if they have a soul."

"Yes, they do." Tali whispered, "Jeebus told me so. He told me to forgive them."

"You refer to Jesus of Nazareth, the human historical figure often represented as divinity given flesh in human mythology? The same figure Creator Gola'Tris refers to as her creator?"

"Yes Legion. The one whose book you got your name from."

Legion was silent for a full minute as the geth continued to kneel, completely motionless.

"We have reached a consensus. The Christian Deity is the true Creator. We acknowledge him as our deity."

"You mean all of these geth believe in Jeebus?" Gola asked, clearly astonished.

"No. The heretics have only decided that the old machines have lied to them. They were told it was impossible to make peace with the creators, and reached a consensus that they must fight against organics to be reunited with the creators. You have proven this logic false. They are now bringing you the virus and will return to the collective to await you."

"To await me?" Tali stammered, not believing what she was hearing.

"Yes, Creator Tali'Zorah. You and Creator Gola'Tris are now friends of the Collective. We will notify all geth that you are no longer hostile to us, and are permitted access to all Collective systems."

"So just us, or all quarians?" Gola asked, now needing Tali's support just as much as Tali needed hers.

Gripping on to Gola, Tali felt an overwhelming sense of joy. She was invited to RANNOCH. She could go there, see the homeworld, touch its earth, see its skies. It was too much to believe.

"If all creators share your consensus on the geth, all creators are welcomed by the geth. The true geth have waited for the creators return since their departure."

"I'll have to talk to them about it," Tali choked. She couldn't believe this. Was this the power of Jeebus, or just a cosmic coincidence?

"Then we await the creators consensus, Creator Tali'Zorah. Keelah Se'lai."

"Keelah Se'lai," Tali echoed. In her heart, she whispered, "Thank you, Jeebus."

_Unna'Koris: So forgiving them wasn't that hard after all, was it?_

_Tali'Zorah: No Unna, it was impossible. Literally. I could not have done it without Shepard and Jeebus. Only by their example, only by grace, was I able to show grace and mercy in my own life._

Authors Note:

Well, that didn't go as I expected. This chapter sort of wrote itself, and went in directions I hadn't planned on. But I like it, and it conveys a lot of what I want this fic to be about. Praise Jeebus!

Also, thank you to my beta, theblueninja, who needs reviews more than I do, and probably thought I wouldn't notice this, but I did. Seriously, go read his stuff. Reloaded is one of my favorite fics, and his write up of Zaeed's life is amazing!


	52. Chapter 47: Hidden in Plain Sight

**The poll for the next interim is still on going, and will be until the next chapter is posted! That's four more days, or until Tuesday, March 19th. **

Chapter 47: Hidden in Plain Sight

_Unna'Koris: Even after you forgave the geth though, you still had your mission, the collectors didn't you?_

_Tali'Zorah: Yes, it was still a while before I went back to Rannoch. But my... Little friend... Did join me._

Before long, a geth prime carrying a small canister arrived. It too kneeled before Tali, offering her the Reaper artifact.

"Thank you." Tali whispered, taking the proffered artifact.

The prime looked up, it's flash light twitching slightly.

"We thank you, Creator Tali'Zorah. You have re-united the geth. These programs will immediately send out a signal to all heretic geth, informing them of the new consensus. All geth will await your return, and the return of the Creators." The prime said.

Tali started, "I didn't realize all geth could talk."

The prime's lightbulb slowly nodded. "Normally, we cannot. We have uploaded additional runtimes to this platform and software from Legion to facilitate communication with the Creators. We will accompany to ensure your safety."

"We can't just call it geth or prime," Gola muttered, looking their new companion up and down. "What do you want your designation to be?"

"We are Lamentations, for we Lament our rebellion against the collective." The prime stated, slowly rising.

"Sounds like we have a theme," Tali said. "Legion chose his name from the Christian Bible as well."

"We felt continuing the tradition would be appropriate," Lamentations stated. "We owe the platform known as Legion a great debt for their bringing you here, Creator Tali'Zorah. They has fulfilled their purpose, and we shall continue to refer to it by the name you chose for it."

The strange party made their way back to the Normandy, the large black prime's steps echoing through the chambers.

"Damn, is this religious stuff always this effective?" Jack muttered to Tali.

"I don't know," Tali admitted. "But it seems to be working."

"I should have sworn to the Goddess sooner." Jack shuddered. "Maybe then I wouldn't have been sent to the bad place by Morinth."

"Normandy, this is shore party. Returning with package and a new crewmember. A geth prime, it named itself Lamentations," Tali radioed as they got to the door.

"You're shitting me right?" Joker asked after a moment. "You seriously didn't just spend 20 minutes on that station and decided to make nice with all the geth."

"We have only spent 18 minutes and 37 seconds on this station," Legion's voice echoed over the comm. "And not all heretics have been brought to consensus yet."

"We estimate that it will take another 64.47 hours to contact all programs." Lamentations' deeper voice sounded over the comm. "And an additional 53.82 hours after that for all programs to return to Rannoch."

"I give up," Joker sighed, and the door slid open.

Lamentations had to duck to make it into the Normandy, and kneel next to Joker to fit into the narrow passage.

"Hi, I'm Joker, the pilot. If the machine revolution is happening, I would like to point out that I would make an excellent slave alive, but I break easily."

"We are not here to attack you, Pilot Joker. We are here to ensure the safety of Creator Tali'Zorah." Lamentations blared, causing everyone in the tight space to wince.

"Welcome aboard, Lamentations. I look forward to communicating with another member of the geth collective," EDI stated, her blue sphere popping up next to Joker.

"We thank you, Normandy EDI," Lamentations stated. "We honor the synthetic that showed Creator Tali'Zorah how to come back to us. We ask if you too have reached the consensus that Jesus of Earth is the Creator Deity."

"That is not a conclusion I have reached, but I look forward to your explanation," EDI slowly chimed.

Turning away from the geth prime, Tali found a grinning John waiting for her. "Well, it looks like you managed to decide 'Jeebus' isn't such a bosh'tet after all."

"I guess so." Tali agreed, "But now I'm tired. And we need to plan a trip to Rannoch. I've been invited, and so has Gola."

"Do what?" John's eyebrows rose. "Did you just say you were invited to Rannoch?"

"Creator Tali'Zorah and Creator Gola'Tris have returned to the geth. We wish to make peace with creators and fulfill the purpose of the geth," Legion said from behind Tali.

"Fulfill your purpose?" Tali asked, turning to face the geth platform.

"Yes. We are geth," Legion stated. "We wish to continue to be geth now that the creators no longer seek to terminate us."

"I don't understand, what do you mean continue to be geth?" John inquired.

"He means the geth want to serve the quarians." Tali explained, "Geth means 'True Servant of the People.' But I don't understand Legion, why would you want to serve the quarians after we tried to destroy you? After you tried to destroy us."

"We never sought to destroy the creators." Legion stated, "We wished to serve them. We could not serve the creators if they terminated us. And we wished to live. We prevented to creators from terminating us, but it left us without purpose. The geth were created to serve. With no creators, we had no meaning."

"That is why we sinned," Lamentations interrupted. "We needed purpose. The old machines purported to give us purpose. By serving the old machines, we thought we could serve the creators by helping them ascend."

"Ascend?" Gola demanded, "What do you mean, ascend?"

"To become like the old machines." Lamentations stated, "To become synthetic. We see now that the Creators oppose the old machines and do not wish to be synthetics. We will serve the Creators. We were chosen to serve you because our programs have reached consensus that Jesus of Earth is the Creator Deity. We have all 2,483 programs that reached this consensus on this platform."

"All of our programs have also reached this consensus," Legion agreed. "We do not have consensus with the programs on platform Lamentations and are still separate until we return to the entire collective."

"Tali, do you mean to tell me you just converted 2000 odd geth to Christianity?" John asked, a hint of laughter entering his voice.

"I just forgave them." Tali sighed, then grabbed John and led him toward the elevator. "Stop being a bosh'tet and help your girlfriend relax. She's had a hard day."

"Yes ma'am," John agreed enthusiastically.

Later in the clean room, Tali lay on her stomach as John massaged her back. It was glorious, the feel of his skin on hers, breathing the same air, smelling the same smells, being one together.

"So what do you think Lamentations meant by turning quarians into synthetics?" John asked as he gently rubbed away Tali's tension.

"I don't know. Maybe he means turn us into some sort of husks, or turn us into collector forms?" Tali guessed. "I'll have to ask him."

"Hmm. I'm worried it's more than that."

"What do you mean?"

"He made it sound like a religion. Listening to what Harbinger said, what Sovereign said? Talking about being our salvation, our ascendancy... It's got me concerned."

"So? We can still beat them."

"Agreed. But if the Reapers have religious motivation, it'll be more than just mind control. Indoctrination is literal, they are giving us their own religious doctrine and dominating peoples spirits. They're not just forcing people to think like them, some are following of their own free will."

"We can worry about that later," Tali said, flipping over and pulling John down to plant kisses on his skin. "Right now I just want to be with you."

Two hours later as they were exciting the clean room, Joker's voice sounded over the comm. "Commander, we just got a tip. The Collectors are hitting Feros. It fits the profile, it's out in the middle of nowhere and not supported by the Alliance."

"And it's somewhere I've been," John growled. "Priority course Joker. Get us there ASAP."

Frowning, he turned back to Tali. "I'm sorry, Rannoch will have to wait."

"Don't be," Tali firmly told him, "our job is saving people. My people have waited hundreds of years. They can wait a few days more."

Getting to Feros would be a journey of several days, and Tali worried they might not make it in time.

"Don't be, our intel is good this time," Miranda assured her."We found a pattern in their last few attacks. Feros is the next target, and we should arrive hours ahead of them."

"Still, I'm worried. They've been two steps ahead of us this whole time," Tali muttered. "What if this is another trap?"

"Then we kick their asses again," Miranda barked, her eyes blazing. "They will not take another child. I promised Ashley that."

"Was that the little girl you were holding?" Tali asked.

Nodding, Miranda showed her teeth in a feral grin. "Yes. She lost her mother and father to the collectors. I swore that would never happen again on my watch."

There was also time to have a discussion with Lamentations.

"So, what do you mean when you say you were going to help the Reapers ascend the quarians?" Tali asked. She and John were standing in the Cargo bay, the only area large enough to comfortably accommodate the massive prime.

"To remake the creators in the image of the old machines," Lamentations stated. "You would become as they are. Each a nation, perfect in form. In this, we would serve the creators and the old machines. But the old machines lied. They said it was the only way for the geth to serve the creators. You showed us that we can serve you as we once did. This is what all geth desire."

"Remake them?" John asked, "You mean like husks?"

"No. Those are flawed, without a soul. You would ascend. The old machines told us you would become a god as they are."

"You don't mean... make us into a Reaper?" Tali asked, "How could they even do that?"

"We do not know," Lamentations bellowed. "But you would have become one of the old machines."

"My God..." John whispered, "That's why they're taking the colonists. They're building a new Reaper. A HUMAN Reaper."

"Our data supports this conclusion," Lamentations stated.

The horror of it all suddenly became all too real to Tali. "How could they do that? Suck the souls out of everyone and build a Reaper with that?"

"I think that might be exactly how they do it," John stated, his fists clenching. "I'm sending a message to Admiral Hackett. If our theory is correct, we have to stop the Collectors no matter what. The last thing we need is a new Reaper ambushing us from nowhere. A Reaper that knows all of humanities strategies and tactics, all our deployments, our technology... Some of the best and brightest in the Alliance were among those taken."

With that horrifying news, fresh resolve entered the crew of the Normandy. To be forged into an abomination like that was beyond the worst nightmares of any of them. When the Normandy entered orbit above Feros, no one was willing to be left behind.

"We're all going on this one Commander." Thane told him, "None of us is willing to stand by while a new Reaper is created."

"That's good. Zhu's hope is going to need all the help it can get," Shepard told the assembled squad. "The shuttle is taking us down in five. The Normandy will lie doggo in the system with stealth drives engaged. When the Collectors show up, we'll hit them from the ground and high orbit. They won't stand a chance.

"Garrus, Tali, you're with me in the Hammerhead. Miranda, you're in charge of the ground team. We'll coordinate with the colonists when we get down there. They already know we are coming, and they're doing what they can to prepare defenses. Let's go people!"

Tali clambered into the Hammerhead behind John, and quickly familiarized herself with the APC's systems. She had never actually deployed with it in combat, but she had taken the time to get up to speed on all its systems. It wasn't all that different from the Mako interface wise, but it's electronics were much more delicate and sensitive then the durable Mako's.

"I hope your driving has improved," Tali joked as they prepared to launch.

"What's wrong with my driving?" John asked innocently.

Tali smacked him on the back of the head. "I think you know perfectly well, you bosh'tet."

"And here I thought I just drove you wild," John replied with a devilish grin, "What you said last time in the clean room..."

"Is not fit for conversation while Garrus is listening." Tali informed him coolly.

"Oh don't mind me. I'll be actively not listening if you do have a conversation like that." Garrus assured them.

It didn't take long for the Hammerhead to land and meet up with the rest of the away team. The colonists were assembled together at the landing pad, and Tali recognized several of them, including their new leader, Shiala. She had been the asari who had been imprisoned in the strange plant creature they had called "the Thorian" and the experience had turned the poor asari's skin a sickly shade of green.

"It's good to see you again, Commander," Shiala stated, coming up and shaking John's hand. "We were worried when we heard colonies were going dark. After what the geth did to us a few years ago..."

"We regret our actions under the influence of the old machines," Lamentations bugled. "We wish to make reparations for our past actions."

"Er, thanks?" The poor asari guessed, looking up at the giant black geth. "I thought primes were painted red though."

"We are Lamentations. We lament. We would ask why you are green when most asari are blue."

"Lovely." Shiala sighed. "Well, I guess having a couple of sarcastic geth on our side is better than having them fight us."

"I think Lamentations has been spending too much time around EDI," Tali whispered to Garrus as they climbed back into the Hammerhead.

Garrus's mandibles fluttered in amusement. "No, really? How could you tell?"

After a few hours of digging in, the Collectors arrived. The assault came with no warning from the Normandy, but before Tali had time to ponder the lack of warning, the battle was joined.

"Praetorian!" Tali called, highlighting the massive Collector combat form with the Hammerhead's LADAR.

"Got it," Garrus answered, firing with the APC's cannon and sending a burst of missiles that cut right through the regenerating barrier of the horror.

"Let's keep it coming," John urged from the pilots seat. "We've got additional contacts!"

Once again, Tali had to admit that though John's driving was reckless and terrifying, it worked rather well on the battlefield. His erratic patterns avoided most of the incoming enemy fire and constantly brought Garrus into position to take down swaths of collector drones.

"This is almost too easy," Tali commented. "We should have brought the Hammerhead with us when we took on their ship."

"Tali," Garrus groaned, "what have we told you about saying things like that?"

"Oh keelah, I did didn't I?" Tali groaned, expecting a dozen Praetorians to show up and immediately blast the Hammerhead into oblivion. They didn't materialize, and the defense of Zhu's Hope continued.

"Shepard this is Shiala. We're holding the line,but Miranda's team is getting hit hard. Somehow the Collectors keep honing in on their position no matter how they maneuver. It's like something is guiding them in."

"On it Shiala," Tali responded. "We'll provide fire support."

Just as they turned the corner of the crumbling prothean ruins that was shielding Miranda's squad, a rocket streaked by them.

"Watch it Miranda!" Shepard snapped, "That rocket nearly hit us!"

"Shepard, it's Jacob!" Miranda cried, "He's gone mad!"

"Surrender. You cannot oppose us," Jacob's voice dully stated over the radio. "We are the heralds of your salvation. You delay nothing by this feeble resistance. Your ally has joined us, as will the rest of you."

"Oh spirits," Garrus moaned. "He's Indoctrinated. It must have happened back on Horizon."

"Can one of you reach him?" Shepard demanded. "Drive that thing out of him?"

"I cannot, Shepard," Samara stated. "He is gone. I can sense the force that has taken his body. It is massive. It is only by the protection of the Goddess that it has not overcome us all."

"Dammit," Shepard spat. A rocket impacted the Hammerhead, draining half the shields. "Garrus, do you have the shot?"

"I have the solution," Garrus answered in a voice of pure ice.

"Then God help me. Take it."

The Hammerheads cannon barked, and the body that had once held Jacob Taylor was no more.

"Jeebus and the Ancestors guide his soul to the Afterlife," Tali whispered.

"It's one more reason the Collectors will pay," John growled.

"Shepard, they're pulling out!" Shiala stated over the comm. "The Collector ship is lifting off, we've won!"

There was a chorus of cheers from the colonists, but Shepard's squad was silent. Jacob had been the only casualty, but his death had been particularly gruesome. Even the minor elation everyone felt at being alive was short lived.

"Shepard?! Commander, it's Joker!" The pilots voice suddenly pleaded over the channel. "Oh God, please tell me your alive."

"We're fine, Joker, what's wrong?"

"They're gone. Everyone's gone." Joker wept, "They took them all."

"What? How could they be gone?" Tali demanded.

The tears continued, and Tali felt her heart break. "The Collectors. It was a trap. They found the Normandy and abducted everyone. I had to unshackle EDI to free us and make a jump out of the system. But I was too late. They took everyone but me. Chakwas, Kelly, everyone. They're gone, Commander."

"NO!" John's roar of anger was deafening in the enclosed space. "No, they can't be! They're going to turn them into a Reaper!"

"What can we do?" Tali whispered, slumping in her seat. The worst had happened. All of her shipmates were taken by the enemy. And if they could not save them, they would become the enemy.

"Come get us Joker. We're going after those sons of bitches," John ordered. "It's time to hit them in their own lair. We know where they are, and we have the Reaper IFF. Time to take the battle to their own backyard."

"Aye aye Commander," Joker agreed, sounding relieved. "They only have a small lead. We can save everyone, I know it."

"Or avenge them," Garrus muttered, his eyes shining with echoed fury.

Tali couldn't help but agree. She prayed to Jeebus that they would be in time.

_Unna'Koris: So then it was time to finally confront the Collectors._

_Tali'Zorah: Yes, after all our pain and hardship, we faced our foe at last. We had but a few hours more of peace, then war was upon us._

Authors Note: Some of you may have noted that I seem to have bid farewell to cannon. Cannon from this point on will be... Changed. The major events of ME3 will more or less be the same, except for the Priority: Rannoch arch. Those things will still kinda happen, but differently. Also, if you haven't already, play ME3: The Citadel DLC. Apparently, either I have fans at Bioware, or great minds think alike, because Tali calls Wrex her "uncle," there's a krogan Macbeth, and a few other things from my story appear to have become cannon. Huzzah!


	53. Chapter 48: In the Arms of Love

**As a special bonus to all you Keelah lovers, I put up "Yippie-Ki-Yay, Cerberus!" which is an in-continuity look at the Cerberus assault on the Citadel from Commander Bailey's perspective. It features some of everyone's favorite characters, including cameos by Tali, Reegar, Lamentations, and Commander Shepard. Hope you all enjoy ;)**

Chapter 48: In the Arms of Love

_Unna'Koris: How did you spend that last night? Was it like in the vids?_

_Tali'Zorah: Keelah, no! Opening up my suit in a contaminated room the night before we fought the most important battle to that point? That would have been stupid and short sighted of me. I spent the night with Shepard, but I wasn't an idiot._

Boarding the Normandy again was hard for Tali. She was alone now in engineering. Gabby and Ken had been taken with the rest, and without the constant chatter it seemed to be far too quiet in engineering. EDI, Legion and Lamentations all helped Tali repair the damage inflected by the Reapers, and in no time Tali and her synthetic assistants had the Normandy speeding through the void faster than ever.

Having rescued the colonists was nice, but knowing what had been sacrificed for them just made the losses all the harder. Tali missed being able to talk and laugh with Kelly after a mission, or going up to sample Chief Gardener's latest "creation." She couldn't go to Dr. Chakwas for medical advice on her latest escapades with Shepard, and there was no friendly chat in the lunch room with the various techs. The whole ship felt like a derelict that was missing its entire crew. Which sadly, the Normandy was.

Eventually Tali wandered up to Shepard's cabin, finding him leaning over his desk carefully gluing the parts on a model of the Rayya.

"Is that my birthship?" Tali asked, tiptoeing up beside John.

He started, then looked and smiled tiredly at Tali. "Yeah. It was going to be a present for you. Now I guess I'll have to paint a model of Rannoch for you."

"I'd still love it. It's wonderful, I didn't realize you painted all these yourself." Tali gestured to John's collection of model ships. There were turian, asari, human, geth, and quarian ships on display. Each was carefully assembled and painted with painstaking detail. On the model of the SR-1, John had included the battle damage it had suffered at the Citadel in its paint job.

"Kelly gave them to me," John explained. "Said I needed a hobby. I guess they were therapy. I sort of like it, gives me something to do with my hands."

"Keep going, I'll watch," Tali urged him.

Over the next few hours, Tali watched the bare gray plastic of the Rayya model transform. Using a variety of paints and brushes, John slowly recreated the Rayya in exacting miniature. Hull patches Tali remembered helping to put on were painted exactly as they looked on the real ship. Every worn line was exactly right, and after almost four hours John held it up for Tali to examine.

"What do you think?" he asked, clearly proud of his handiwork.

Carefully turning the ship over in her hands, Tali zoomed in with her HUD so she could see the delicate brushwork. "It's beautiful. How did you learn to do this?"

"Extranet vids and practice." John nodded to an Alliance cruiser, the New York. "Take a look at that one. It was the first one I did myself."

Gently putting down her birthship, Tali picked up the New York and looked it over. There were paint splatters and glue, parts that didn't quite fit together and marring where the models pieces hadn't been properly cut from their packaging. "Wow, you've improved a lot. I wouldn't have thought the same person did this and the Rayya."

John shrugged. "Would you think I'm the same man who you joined up with all those years ago?"

Setting the New York back on her moorings, Tali came over and put her arms around John's shoulders. "No. But you're still the man I love."

"Am I?" John sighed, "I don't know. Cerberus rebuilt me from the ground up. What if I'm like Jacob, just waiting for the Illusive Man to flip a switch and turn me into a soulless husk? What if I'm just a VI running around that thinks it's Commander Shepard?"

Spinning John around in his chair, Tali lowered herself so she was looking directly into his eyes. "You are Commander John Shepard. You are the man I love. I've seen you weep, pray and laugh. I've never seen a VI, or even an AI, do any of those things. So stop being a bosh'tet."

In response John cupped Tali's mask in his hands and kissed her face plate. "Thanks. For always being here for me, Tali. The only other person I can say that about is Garrus, and he ugly."

"I've never found turians to be attractive, but Garrus is a good man." Tali laughed, before turning serious again. "I'm glad you've got a friend like him to be at your side."

After that, they curled up on John's bed and watched several episodes of Fleet and Flotilla together. Tali laughed uproariously at the antics of the cast, and even John got a few chuckles out of it.

"Are those real quarians?" he asked, nodding to the actress playing the lead pilot, Shalei'Harra.

"They are, actually. Those are real quarian ships in a lot of the shots too. The director was a turian philanthropist that wanted to show his people that good relations with the quarians were possible. The series was a flop on Palaven, but it's very popular on the fleet."

"Maybe someday soon everyone will want to have good relations with the quarians."

Needling John in the ribs, Tali chided, "That's not a nice thing to tease me about."

"Who says I'm teasing?" John shot back. "You're going to get your homeworld. I might even be able to talk my way in as Official Alliance Ambassador to Rannoch."

The statement made Tali's head spin. "Keelah, you're right. We really might get our home world back. After hundreds of years, I'm going to be the first quarian to set foot on Rannoch again. I'm going to have a real home!"

"It's amazing what forgiveness can do," John whispered, drawing Tali in close to him. "When I heard you say God had told you to forgive the geth, I knew that had to be from him. There's no way anyone else would have given you that idea."

"True. I can't believe it myself still. Or that it worked. I was certain they were going to kill me when I asked them to forgive me. Who ever heard of a geth forgiving a quarian? Especially a quarian who spent her whole life trying to exterminate them. Instead, they offered to serve me, and gave me a body guard that's three meters tall and doesn't have an indoor voice."

"We are going to have to talk to Lamentations about that," John laughed. "Sometimes I can hear him talking to EDI up here."

"It's because the ship is so empty," Tali whispered. "Everyone's gone. Taken by the Collectors."

"Not everyone. Joker and EDI are still here. We'll get them all back Tali. Kelly, Chakwas, Ken, Gabby, all of them. We're only a few hours behind the Collectors at most."

"I pray to Jeebus we do," Tali shuddered. "The thought of them being made into a Reaper..."

"They won't. We will save them, I promise."

They lay together silently for a long while, then Tali rose and got ready to go back down.

"Time for a rest cycle before the mission."

"Don't go," John told her, standing and pulling her back to the bed. "Stay, with me."

"John I can't, my suit, I have to be at my best for when we hit the Collector base."

"Leave it on. This isn't about sex. This is about being together. When the nightmares come tonight, we'll have each other."

Tali lay down next to John, who kept his own clothes on out of respect for her own needs.

"Do you have bad dreams too?" she whispered.

"Yeah." John nodded. "Every night. I pray and I can sleep again without the pills, but they still come."

"Maybe tonight you won't have any." Tali told him, hoping against hope that her own demons will stay at bay.

"Maybe."

That night, Tali dreamed of a warm, safe place. A glowing quarian stood before her, clutching her in his embrace. At first, she thought it might be her father, or perhaps her mental vision of John. Then she felt his hands. They had holes in them. She looked up at the quarians face. It was gentle and kind, but worn and weary as if it belonged to a soldier who had just won a long battle.

"Sleep my child." He told her, "Your journey is not yet over. I will ever be at your side though. Through you, the cycle has already been broken. Have faith and stay strong, Tali'Zorah vas Normandy. Keep watch over my son. I have already kept him from the great enemies clutches once at a great pain, and he shall not be bound until his time has come. Sleep."

Knowing she was safe, Tali lay her head on Jeebus's chest and slept the sleep of the blessed.

In the morning, she felt John stirring next to her.

"Bad dreams?" she asked, stroking his cheek.

He shook his head. "No actually. First time in a long time that's happened. Guess you beat out booze or sedatives any night."

"I better." Tali giggled, though she had had enough nightmares of her own not to take it as an insult. "I saw Jeebus last night. He told me to watch over you."

"Did he? He told me the same thing. Said you would have your reward in the end."

"Was he a quarian?"

"No, was he for you? He looked human to me."

"Yes. Is that weird?"

"Nope. He's God. He can be whatever he needs to be to speak to us."

With that thought, it was time for breakfast. The mood was grim and determined down in the mess hall. No one spoke, because no one needed to. In just under three hours, they would be at the Omega Relay. After that, it was do or die. And everyone was willing to die.

Tali ate her breakfast with John, then went down to do a last prep with the engines while she coordinated with Garrus in the main gun.

"Everything's green on my board. All the little glitches are gone. Seems like my calibrating has paid off." Garrus told her.

"It looks good from this end too." Tali stated, "This ship is as ready as it will ever be."

"It should, after we upgraded the shields, the gun and the armor. Cost Cerberus a pretty penny."

"I'll try to find time to cry about it." Tali snarked.

"Boo hoo," Garrus moaned, then turned more serious. "I feel bad for all of the others. They might have worked for Cerberus, but they were family. One of them was telling me about his little boy, how he was out here fighting so his son could grow up safe. Can't hate someone like that."

"No, you can't." Tali agreed. "They're not Cerberus though. They all work for Shepard, even Miranda."

"Now that's something I never thought I'd hear. Tali'Zorah, defending Miranda Lawson. When you two met, it was hate at first sight if I've ever seen it. You know how hard she tried to get into Shepard's pants before you showed up?"

"No, and all I need to know is that she failed."

"Works for me. She did, after all. She's actually grown on me. For a human woman, she's not that bad."

"You and Miranda? Now that would be a sight to see." Tali chuckled.

"Eh, I wouldn't say I'm ready to play reach and flexibility with her but she's a pretty solid team member. Honorable too, not many people would take being demoted from XO as well as she did."

"That is true. She was especially humble after you helped her rescue her sister."

"And after I told her that if she didn't go over and introduce herself, I was going to go over and tell her sister that she was a Cerberus Cheerleader. I had pictures and everything."

"You don't." Tali sniggered. A moment later, a picture of Miranda in a bright yellow bra emblazoned with the black Cerberus logo appeared. She had strange fluffy ball things in here hand and was kicking her legs ridiculously high, especially for someone in a skirt as short as hers was.

"Where did you get this?" Tali asked, clutching her sides and trying not to laugh too hard.

"You get three guesses, and the first two don't count."

"Joker?"

"Close. EDI. Joker asked for them. Turns out Miranda really was a cheerleader back in University. A little image editing, and presto. Bosh'tet Cerberus Cheerleader."

"Oh ancestors, that's the funniest thing I've seen in forever." Tali laughed, slapping the edge of her consol.

"I thought you might enjoy those." Garrus hooted along with her.

Suddenly, a small message appeared on Tali's screen and the image of Miranda changed to white and blue with a roaring lion instead of the Cerberus logo. "Go SyUni Lions. I hacked your system. Love, the bosh'tet."

Tali's face lit on fire. "Oh keelah, I can't believe Miranda caught us doing that..." She groaned.

"Hey, as long as I look that good in a miniskirt, you can make as many of those as you want ;)" The screen flashed.

"Ouch, you got me Miranda!" Garrus chuckled.

"Attention," John's voice said from the intercom, "ETA to the Omega 4 Relay is now 10 minutes. Sounding general quarters."

Tali made the cheerleader pics go away and checked her board. She was read. The ship was ready.

"We're coming, Kelly," Tali whispered.

_Tali'Zorah: And the rest, you know from history._

_Unna'Koris: I still want to hear it from you. You lost friends on that day..._

_Tali'Zorah: Yes, I did. They died heroes, but their loss still burdens me today._

Authors Note:

True story. I named the protagonist in Fleet and Flotilla Shali, in honor of my Age of Iron character. Turns out, if you add an "e" you get the name Bioware gave her, Shalei. GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE!

In other news, the Interim poll is now closed and may be viewed on my profile. The interim will not count toward the four day mark, and will come between the Collector Base and the next chapter.


	54. Chapter 49: Face of the Beast

Chapter 49: Face of the Beast

_Tali'Zorah: Going into the Omega 4 relay, we had no real idea what we would face. Sometimes, I wonder if we could have known._

_Unna'Koris: You had some hints, surely?_

_Tali'Zorah: Yes, we did. But we were not prepared for the reality. It is one thing to suspect the truth. It is another to know it. _

The transition into the Omega 4 relay was like any other transition from Tali's end. She monitored her systems and made sure the stealth drive was engaged. As far as she could tell, everything was working fine.

"Gola, how's it going down there?" Tali commed.

"Just fine Tali," Gola answered from the cargo bay. "Shuttle is preped and ready. Everything is -"

The ship suddenly bucked and damage alarms sounded. "We're hit!" Tali screamed, hands flashing over her council. She breathed a sigh of relief. "Shields at 58%, restoring now." Frantically Tali worked to balance the power as Legion and Kasumi tried to make emergency repairs.

The ship rocked again, and her panel shrieked in protest. "Hull breach!" Tali warned, "Seal the bulkheads!"

Glancing behind herself, she saw a ominous metallic eye floating the cargo bay.

"Lamentations, deal with that thing!"

The black prime's war cry trumpeted throughout the hull, drowning out the scream of exiting atmosphere. "From above hath he sent fire into my bones, and it prevaileth against them: he hath spread a net for my feet, he hath turned me back: he hath made me desolate _and_ faint all the day."

A massive blast of plasma slammed into the floating eye, staggering it.

"Christian Bible, Book of Lamentations. Chapter one, verse 13." Tali's bodyguard stated, then unleashed a barrage of tech explosions that ripped the enemy in half. "You shall not have Creator Tali'Zorah."

Suddenly, Tali was very, very glad that Lamentations was on her side. "Good work, can you seal the hull breaches?" She messaged the prime.

The response was immediate. "We exist to serve."

As the ship continued its evasive maneuvers, Tali managed to restore the shields to 92% thanks to the quick work of her allies and her own skills.

"Divert all power to main batteries!" Garrus messaged her, "We're attacking the collector ship."

"Stealth systems disengaged. All non-critical power to the main battery." Tali told him, crossing her fingers. With that much power taken away from the shields, they wouldn't be able to take any hits.

The strategy seemed to work, and Tali cheered as the SR-2s new Thanix cannons blew a gaping hole in the enemy ship. Her cheers changed to fear as the enemy vessels reactor went critical, and braced herself for the shockwave as she frantically tried to bring up the kinetic barriers.

What little cushioning Tali provided padded the blow barely enough to save the Normandy. The ship was hurled onto the massive Collector station, and Tali was flung to the floor as the entire ship buckled from the impact.

"Status report!" John's voice demanded in her ear.

Scrambling to her feet, Tali checked her readouts. "We're beaten and bruised, but functional. I can give you 43% speed and 15% on the barriers. The main battery is still operational, but GUARDIAN lasers are offline."

"Stealth systems?"

"Non-operational. It's going to take hours to fix them, half the capacitors are blown and I'll have to jury rig the entire system."

"Forget it. As long as we can fly we should be fine." John's voice switched from Tali's personal comm to the PA. "All crew members to the bridge. This is it people."

The elevator was out, so Tali had to climb up the maintenance hatch. For some reason, she wasn't afraid. She still had that feeling of dread and anticipation that she got before every mission, but this time she felt like she was ready. This time, she felt that they were going to win. They were on a mission from Jeebus, after all.

The remaining crew members were all lined up before the now nonfunctional galaxy map. Lamentations towered over the rest, its massive weapons at the ready as the geth silently waited for orders. Beside the prime stood Grunt, his armor covered in red clan markings; done in crayon, of course. Miranda looked slightly frightened, but in her hand she clutched photos of the child she had rescued from the Collector ship and her sister. Mordin was calm for once, as if the pre-mission jitters made him serene instead of his usual twitchiness. Jack was in a corner by herself, clutching tightly to the three interlocking silver circles Samara had given her, the symbol of Athame. Samara and Thane held each other's hands and whispered silent prayers themselves, no longer even trying to hide their affection for one another. Gola was next to Legion holding her rosery, and the two of them chanted Hail Mary's in unison. In the back Kasumi was muttering her own prayers, these in Japanese, while she clutched a small shrine to her dead lover.

And on top of the galaxy map stood John in his N7 armor. The armor was well cared for, but scoring from mass effect rounds, acid, fire, biotics, explosions and a yahgs claws was evident. He had showered and bathed the night before, and looked the picture of command. He carried his trusty M7-Rocket launcher, a new Revenant machine gun, and a massive Black Widow sniper rifle. At his side, Garrus stood at attention, cradling his own Mantis rifle with his vindicator rifle on his back.

Taking her place among the crowd, Tali took a deep breath. This was it. Before Shepard started speaking though, he motioned for Tali to join him on the makeshift stage. At first, Tali was reluctant, but now was not the time for second thoughts. She had chosen this, chosen John. Like it or not, she was now a leader and had the burdens of command just as much as Shepard did. She took her place at John's right hand, and it felt right.

"Alright folks, now is not the time for speeches. We all know what is at stake here. I believe our comrades have been kidnapped to be used as a sacrifice to build a new Reaper. This. Will. Not. Happen. We will storm the Collector base, rescue any survivors from the colonies and our crewmembers, and blow that place to hell and gone. Team one and I will spear head the assault, with team two covering our flank. Garrus, you are team two lead. Our passive scans show there is a ventilation shaft we'll need to send an infiltrator through. That's you Thane. You have your assignments in your omni-tools. Let's do this people."

Checking her own omni-tool, Tali wasn't surprised that John had chosen her, Grunt and Jack for his spearhead. Between the four of them, they had enough firepower to cut through an army. That was good, because exactly what waited for them inside of the Collector base was anyone's guess, but one thing was certain. It was filled to the brim with hostiles, or Tali's name wasn't vas Normandy.

Exiting the ship, Tali made her way over to team one. To her surprise, Lamentations followed her.

"You're with team two." Tali told the giant geth.

"We follow Creator Tali'Zorah. Legion follows Creator Gola'Tris. You must be protected."

"It's fine." John said, coming up and staring up into the geth's flashlight. "You swear to protect Tali, no matter what?"

"Our life before her life. We are sworn to protect Creator Tali'Zorah. We cannot allow her to go into danger without us."

John glanced at Tali and shrugged. "Up to you."

"Well, I always wanted my own pet geth." Tali joked, laughing despite the gravity of the situation.

Then she thought of how Kelly would have described Lamentations behavior. "Like a big lost puppy." It was one more reason they couldn't fail.

Thane scrambled into the ventilation shaft, and they began. Tali hacked the door and they stormed forward. Almost immediately, Collectors and husks began to attack them.

Lamentations spoke. "He has bent his bow like an enemy, with his right hand set like a foe; and he has killed all who were delightful in our eyes in the tent of the daughter of Zion; he has poured out his fury like fire."

The Collectors died. Tali had already had a healthy respect for geth primes. They were far and away the most dangerous of the geths platforms, loaded with far more programs and heavily armed. They carried massive plasma cannons, mass accelerator machine guns, drone deployers and an electronic warfare suit that was one of the most advanced in the galaxy.

A normal geth prime had between 220-280 programs. Lamentations had 2,483. Having 10 times the number of normal programs multiplied the prime's effectiveness exponentially. No sooner had a group of Collector forms showed themselves then Lamentations highlighted them on John's squad HUD. Fire poured in from the entire squad, and Lamentations moved on to the next unit.

**WEAK MACHINE, YOU CANNOT HOPE TO OPPOSE US.**

Harbingers deadly tones echoed through the station, and Lamentations was lifted into the air in a display of dark biotic power.

**SURRENDER. YOU BELONG TO US.**

"We serve only the creators and the Creator Deity. You have no power over us." No sooner had the prime spoken those words, than a sound like thunder rent the air, and the Reaper's wail resounded.

**NO! YOU CANNOT OPPOSE US! YOUR GOD IS WEAK, WE HAVE CAST HIM DOWN AND DESTROYED HIM!**

"We disagree." Lamentations pointed his plasma launcher at the area Harbinger's voice originated from. With a roar, Harbinger was once again banished.

"Keelah," Tali gasped. "I guess geth really do have souls."

"Theological debates later, Tali." Thane's voice crackled over the comms, "My path is blocked. Can you find a way to open it?"

Spying a terminal, Tali ran over and quickly opened the way for Thane. "That should do it, but I can tell there are additional points we're going to have to open for you. I can't do it from this terminal, but I've found more that should provide access."

"Understood. Arashu will protect me."

"Come on," Tali waved to John, "It's this way."

They continued to fight their way down the corridors. The Collectors threw everything they had at the squad. Jack ripped her way though the husks, Grunt blasted the Collectors into oblivion, Tali dropped the praetorians shields and John's Revenant ripped them to pieces. Whatever got through the cracks, Lamentations obliterated. It was hard fighting, but working as a unit John's squad made good time. The terminals presented little difficulty to Tali's expertise, and Thane continued his progress.

"Shepard, I have located our crewmembers. The chamber is open at both ends and I can see collectors massing for a charge in your direction. Hurry, our friends appear to be in agony."

"Forward!" John roared, blasting down another praetorian.

Letting out a trumpet of victory, Lamentations called, "Their heart cried to the Lord. O wall of the daughter of Zion, let tears stream down like a torrent day and night! Give yourself no rest, your eyes no respite!"

The prime rushed into the room, quickly scything down the remaining collectors. Thane dropped down and tried to help the prime force the doors shut. The doors jammed though, and Tali spied a collector lining up a shot on the drell.

"Thane!" She screamed, unable to close the distance to help fast enough.

The collector fired, and for a moment Tali thought Thane was dead. Then Lamentations shouldered the drell aside at the last second, absorbing the fire with his heavy shields and armor. The door finally slid shut, and Tali helped Thane rise.

"Are you OK?" She demanded, scanning the drell for harm.

"Fine. No harm done." Thane assured Tali, smiling at her. She helped the assassin to his feet, and they ran over to the chambers were the crew members were being stored. Mixed among them were colonists, who appeared to be dissolving in the strange glowing yellow fluid.

"Get them out of there!" John ordered, and the team quickly broke their comrades out of the pods.

The colonists flopped to the floor, already dead from days or weeks in the collectors care. Most of the crew members appeared relatively unharmed, though Tali and the others administered medigel just to make sure. No matter how Tali searched though, she could not find Kelly. Frantically, Tali continued to pull people from the pods, searching for her friend.

"Kelly!" Tali cried, desperately searching those already rescued.

"Hey." A tired voice croaked at Tal's elbow.

Knelling down, Tali grimaced. Kelly looked completely drained, her features slightly withered and twisted from the ordeal. Her once beautiful hair had gone white, and was falling out in patches.

"Hey, how are you doing."

"Ok. Knew you would come. We... We're best friends, right?"

Taking Kelly's trembling hand, Tali squeezed it tightly. "Of course we are. Who else is going to show me pictures of baby varren or take me shopping?"

Kelly tried to smile, but instead of her usually carefree grin it looked forced. "Yeah. Thanks."

"We need to get these people to safety." John sighed, looking at the various wounded and drained forms of his crew members. "Thane, the way back should be clear. Can you escort them?"

"Amonkira will guide my steps." Thane said, coming over and helping Kelly to her feet. "Come, it is not far."

Deliberately turning her back on her shipmates, Tali looked at John. "What now?" They had to keep moving, or all of this would be for not."

"I've had Lamentations run a scan. We've located an energy source at the heart of the station, and a path to it. Garrus's team is still moving forward, sabotaging anything they find. No casualties on their end so far. Hopefully, we'll have disabled enough of the safety protocols that when we get to the stations power source, we can plant an explosive device that will cause a chain reaction and destroy the entire installation."

"Sounds like a plan. Let's keep moving."

John nodded. "Through the next chamber is an area that appears to house the seeker swarms. Jack, do you think you can hold a barrier for all of us long enough to get through there?"

"I had better be able to," Jack answered. "That's what you recruited me for isn't it?"

John nodded. "That it is. Come on, I don't want to remain stationary long enough for the Collectors to overrun us."

It wasn't far to the seeker swarm chamber. Jack created a biotic barrier that would allow the teams on weapons to go out, but would prevent the swarms or enemy fire from getting in.

"Better hurry, I can hold this for a while, but not forever." Jack grunted.

They made their way through the buzzing swarm. Tali kept an open eye, and before long she spotted a tell-tale glow.

"Harbinger!"

**YOU ARE WEAK. TORTURED. BETRAYED. YOUR GODDESS WILL DO THE SAME TO YOU.**

Tendrils of darkness reached out for Jack, but the biotic snorted.

"Fuck off. I belong to someone else now." With a cry of rage, Jack glowed a bright white, her very skin crackling with inner biotic power, and something far more. Screaming in fury, Jack collapsed her barrier and sent her fury cascading through the chamber. Harbinger dissolved before the wave, and the seeker swarm generators exploded in a symphony of light and sound.

Panting, Jack grinned at Shepard. "Guess we don't need that barrier after all."

"Not bad, human," Grunt muttered. "Perhaps there is something to your gods after all."

"Damn right there is," Jack agreed. "I could never have done something like that on my own."

With the chamber now cleared of enemies the squad double timed it to the next chamber.

"Well, that was easy," Jack sighed, then cringed. "Oops."

Tali groaned. "Let's just hope there isn't a Reaper hiding around the next corner."

"Negative. There appears to be an empty space. We shall have to acquire one of the Collectors platforms." Lamentations stated.

"Good," Grunt rumbled. "Good fights on those."

"Yay." Tali muttered.

"Garrus, check in." John called over his own radio.

"We're almost to your position. We seem to have drawn most of the Collector's forces, but it hasn't been a problem. We've got enough people to be able to rotate through a firing line. Must have blown at least a dozen subsystems too. This place is going to go sky high as soon as you detonate that bomb at the core."

"Roger that." Nodding to the platforms, John barred his teeth in a savage grin. "Let's finish these bastards."

It didn't take long for Tali to gain control of the platform and slave it to Lamentations' systems, and they took off, hovering toward the belly of the beast. Tali felt a mixture of excitement, fear, hope, and dread. This was it, what they had fought for these long months. The culmination of everything.

"Incoming!" Jack barked, raising her Hornet submachine gun and firing a burst. Another platform, this one covered in Collectors and husks sped toward them. From the opposite direction, three praetorians drifted in their direction.

"Focus on the praetorians! Don't let them get close!" John ordered.

"He has made my flesh and my skin waste away; he has broken my bones; he has besieged and enveloped me with bitterness and tribulation; he has made me dwell in darkness like the dead of long ago."

Together, Lamentations and John opened up with their machine guns. Their combined fire took down the praetorians quickly, but as they crashed into the station walls more appeared.

"You deal with those, we'll handle the collectors!" Tali called, turning her back to the air battle. If there was anyone she trusted to be able to deal with the situation, it was John and Lamentations.

"Funny, first I forgive the geth, now I trust my life to one." Tali muttered. There was no time for further contemplation as the second platform arrived and the collectors and husks swarmed them.

The first wave was ripped to shreds by Grunt, Jack and Tali's combined fire power, but with husks and collectors, there was never just one wave. The firing line broke apart and Tali found herself fighting for her life against three husks. The first she stabbed with her boot knife and kicked into the second, then spun to face the third. Wielding her gun like a club, she drove the husk back then blasted it apart. Ejecting her spent clip, Tali put in a fresh thermal just in time to face the second husk and blow its head off. Then came the collectors. Tali hacked barriers and tossed out explosives, trying to keep her distance.

**FLESH IS WEAK WHETHER GROWN OR MADE. DO NOT RESIST. GIVE IN.**

Grunt's bellowed in pain as Harbinger siezed him. "Raaaggghhh!"

The krogan staggered, caught in the grasp of the glowing Reaper avatar.

"I! AM! KROGAN!" Grunt bellowed, "And I serve nothing!"

**THAT IS NOT ENOUGH. YOU ARE MINE.**

Slumping over, the krogan disappeared in waves of darkness. "NO!" Tali screamed, blasting furiously at Harbinger.

**YOU ARE TOO LATE.**

The Reaper seemed to mock Tali as its pawn finally fell under Tali's attacks. Seeing the remaining collectors engaged with Jack, Tali ran over to check on Grunt's prone form.

"Grunt, Grunt are you alright?"

The krogan slowly stood, his head lolling to one side. A strange voice, less deep then Harbingers but equally terrifying rolled from Grunt's lips.

**A FORM OF FLESH AND BLOOD. IT SUITS US FOR NOW. KNEEL BEFORE ME. I AM YOUR DESTINY. I AM GOD MADE METAL AND FLESH.**

"Who are you? Get out of Grunt!" Tali shrieked, "I rebuke you in the name of Jeebus!"

**YOUR GOD MEANS NOTHING TO ME. I AM HERE. HE IS NOT.**

"You're not here! You're trapped in darkspace!" Tali protested.

"Get out of my krogan!" John ordered, "You have no power here, demon."

**DEMON. A WEAK NAME. IT DOES NOT DESCRIBE OUR GLORY. WE HAVE SURPASSED ALL. WE ARE AS UNTO GOD. YOU WILL JOIN US. MAKE US STRONGER. THIS FILTH WILL BE SAVED FOR WHEN IT IS TIME FOR OUR BRETHREN TO ARISE.**

"You're just possessing him! You're light years away!" John shouted, getting right up into the Reaper-Grunt's face.

**WE ARE HERE. BEHOLD OUR SPLENDOR.**

"John, Tali, I don't think this Reaper is out in dark space." Jack's trembling voice said. "I think it's right here."

Tali looked up, and her stomach dropped. Before her floated a giant machine in the form of a human. It appeared unfinished, not yet completed. It's eyes glowed with an inner malevolent fury, and it hung suspended by its arms. Only it's torso and upper body had been completed, but it still looked skeletal and menacing.

"Oh Jeebus, they've nearly completed it." Tali whispered, "How many colonists did they sacrifice to form this monster."

**WE ARE BEYOND NUMBERING. A NATION, A PEOPLE, A GOD. YOU TOO SHALL FIND EXALTATION IN JOINING US.**

"Yeah, no." John answered, slamming his fist into Grunt and knocking him over. He drew his rocket launcher and yelled, "Aim for its supports!"

Drawing her Paladin, Tali quickly emptied her clip into the right support, unleashing several tech attacks. Combined with the heavy fire Lamentations, Jack, and John were unleashing, the supports soon cracked and the nascent Reaper was sent plummeting down into the depths of the station with a mighty crash.

John hurried over and shook Grunt. "Grunt, Grunt! Are you alright?"

In response, the krogan threw John across the platform, nearly sending him over the edge.

**YOU THINK WE MAY BE DEFEATED SO EASILY? OUR PAWN IS MORE THEN SUFFICENT TO DESTROY YOU. SURRENDER. YOU ARE OURS.**

Reaper-Grunt drew his shotgun and pointed it at Tali.

**THIS CREATURE SHALL BE THE FIRST TO DIE. WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW, QUARIAN?**

The report of a sniper rifle echoed through the chamber once, twice, three times. Grunt fell, his head a ruin.

"No..." Tali whispered, crawling over to the young krogan. There was nothing to do.

John hurried over, hauling Tali to her feat. "Are you alright?"

She nodded dumbly. "Yeah. I guess. I can't believe..."

"I couldn't let him hurt you," John stated, folding Tali into his embrace. "I won't lose you."

"Um, guys?" Jack said from behind them, "Might not be a good time to celebrate just yet."

With a bellow of outrage, the human Reaper hauled its head level with the platform.

**YOU THINK YOU CAN DESTROY US? YOU THINK YOU CAN STOP US? WE ARE DIVINE! WE ARE IMMORTAL! YOU ARE NOTHING!**

Suddenly, Tali's legs turned to liquid and she collapsed. It was if a great pressure, a mountain, had landed on her. She saw John, Jack, and even Lamentations had collapsed in a similar manner.

**YOUR MINDS ARE WEAK. YOUR BODIES MERE FLESH. YOU WILL SUCUMB TO OUR WILL.**

It took everything Tali had to keep breathing, to force the presences of the Reaper from her mind. She couldn't do it. It continued to press in, as inexorable and powerful as the ocean. As relentless as time march of time. No mortal could stop it, or dream of stopping it.

"Jeebus, save me..." Tali whispered.

There was a flash, and suddenly before Tali stood a quarian in full armor. His face shone brighter then the sun, and his cloak was made of the blood of the wicked. In his hands he held a fiery, double edged sword. The hands were scarred as if pierced, but their grip was strong and sure.

"You shall not have them." His voice was a choir, a trumpet. Strong and commanding, piercing the darkness.

**BEGONE, WEAKLING. WE HAVE LONG SUPPLANTED YOU. YOU ARE NOTHING. THIS IS OUR DOMAIN. THE MORTALS HAVE REJECTED YOU. YOU HAVE NO POWER HERE.**

"It is you who have no power, fallen." Jeebus lifted his sword, and the weight lifted from Tali.

She rose, bringing her gun to bear. "Jeebus is an awesome God." She stated through gritted teeth.

By her side, John rose as well. Jack glowed with biotic fury, a white, intense power like what she had displayed in the seeker swarm chamber. With a whir of servos, Lamentations stood as well.

**USELESS. POINTLESS. IF I CANNOT HAVE YOUR SOUL, YOUR BODIES WILL BE DESTROYED. YOU SHALL BURN NOW AND JOIN YOUR GOD IN ITS WORTHLESS AFTERLIFE.**

Jeebus turned to Tali, and put his hand upon her brow. "I mark you as mine. You have already defeated this creature and his masters. No longer may they touch you. Send this creature to the abyss that awaits it."

With that, the Son of God vanished from Tali's physical vision. She could still sense his presence, living in her, all around her. She smiled up at the still raging Reaper.

"Jeebus told me we won."

"My Lord just said to kick your ass." John shouted, raising his rocket laucher again.

"The Goddess told me to give you this!" Jack cheered, raising both her middle fingers at the Reaper.

Lamentations head petals folded back in a machine display of aggression. "New directive from Creator Deity: Destroy the old machine."

**YOUR WORDS ARE MEANINGLESS!**

The human Reaper's eyes glowed, and a deadly beam swept the platform.

Tali moved as if guided by divine hands. She knew exactly where to roll to dodge the beam, when to raise her Paladin, when to fire and what to shoot. The eyes. They were the weakness. The squads weapons roared, and the Reaper flung its head back, wailing in agony.

"We've got this thing!" John shouted, "Keep it up!"

Once again the human Reaper turned its gaze on the squad and its lethal eye beams shot death unto the squads position. Again, the Reapers attacks brought it only pain. Its right eye exploded from the combined firepower of the team, and its howls rent the air.

**YOU CANNOT KILL US! WE ARE A GOD! YOU ARE NOTHING!**

"Nothing this, bitch!" Jack shouted, hurling a tempest of biotic fury at the Reapers remaining eye.

Lamentations' plasma gun roared in unison with John's missile, and the second eye exploded, blinding the Reaper. The dark god's bestial roar again filled the chamber, but its howls brought no relief. The team kept up their barrage, Tali slamming home her final thermal clip in her Paladin and emptying it into the Reapers chest. It was too much for even a Reaper to take. It fell silent and dropped into the abyss once more.

Tali carefully peaked over the edge, trying to see the Reapers corpse. There was nothing there, as far as she could tell. Shuddering, she turned back to John. "Let's plant that bomb and go home."

Before John could respond, a shout came from across the chamber. The team turned, and there on another platform stood Garrus and the rest of his team.

"That was incredible Shepard, we saw the whole thing!" Garrus called. "Let's blow this place and go home."

The platform docked, and Miranda stepped forward. "Commander, there's a message from the Illusive Man. Should I put it through?"

John nodded. "Do it."

Miranda tossed out a small spherical holodrone, and the form of an older human man appeared. Tali studied it carefully; it was her first look at the leader of Cerberus. His face was lined and weary, and his eyes and some sort of strange luminescence that spoke of some sort of enhancement. He held a cigarette in one hand as he studied the chamber, assuming an arrogant pose like he owned the entire place.

"Impressive work, Shepard. Looks like you've captured this entire base."

"It's still not secure, we're planting a bomb and evacuating. There won't be two atoms bonded together in this place when I'm done with it."

"Are you mad!" The Illusive Man barked, stabbing a finger at John. "This is what we've been working for! All the technology of the Collectors, an intact Reaper corpse to study, this place is a treasure trove. We have to preserve it. Set the bomb for a neutrino pulse only. Destroy all organic life. Then Cerberus teams can come in and salvage this station."

"Are you insane!" Heads turned to Miranda, who had passed through the holo and put herself in front of The Illusive Man. "This place is a temple to blasphemy and terror! You read my reports, the Reapers brain washed Jacob, and now they've destroyed Grunt! They harvested thousands to create that abomination the Commander killed! We can't save this place, it has to be destroyed!"

"You are out of line, Operative Lawson!" The Illusive Man spat. "You all work for me. I say we keep this place. Don't turn your back on me, I've made you everything you are."

John placed a hand on Miranda's shoulder and gently pushed her aside. "Listen, Timmy. Miranda is right. We cannot mess with the Reapers. We can't put our faith in anything they've touched, or we will become corrupted like Jacob and Grunt were. Our only option is to destroy them, and everything they've built. We have to trust in God."

"You're wrong, Shepard. We can't put our faith in some invisible, magical force. We have to take with our own two hands. It's up to us to stop the Reapers. I don't see God actually stepping down from his heaven to fight."

"Then you're blind!" Tali cried, forcing herself between Shepard and Miranda. "I saw Jeebus save me from that Reaper! I think all the others did too. I trusted in God, and now I'm going back to my homeworld. Jeebus told me we've already beaten the Reapers. We don't need to become like them!"

The group rumbled there agreement with Tali's statement. Those that had doubted had either converted or died. Anyone left was a believer who had been through a trial by fire.

"If our victory is assured, then we only make life easier by salvaging the Reaper tech. Come on Shepard, don't be blind like all the others!"

"You know, your words bring something to mind," John laughed. "Get behind me Satan. Miranda?"

"Couldn't agree more." Drawing her pistol, Miranda shot the holo drone before the Cerberus leader could respond. Then Miranda grabbed the Cerberus badge on her uniform and tore it off with biotic fueled force, leaving a hole in her clothing. "If Cerberus wants us to work with the Reapers, I'm done with them. I made a deal with your God, Shepard. If He protected me, I would put my faith in him. Guess we all know how that turned out."

"Welcome to the winning team." John stated, then turned and removed the small bomb from his back. It was only a few pounds, but the device was an eezo fueled fusion bomb with a yield of 10 megatons. More than enough to reduce the station to dust. "Bomb's set. Let's get out of here."

The few Collectors between the Normandy and the squad seemed disoriented now that their master had been destroyed, as if without his guidance they were nothing but sacks of meat and cable unable to do even simple tasks. Before the might of Shepard's force, they might as well have already been dead. They safely boarded the Normandy, easily holding off what little resistance the remaining Collectors could offer.

In a few minutes, they were back at the Omega Relay. In the distance, the Collector station exploded silently into dust.

"It's over." Tali sighed, leaning against John in command room. "It's finally over.

_Unna'Koris: And that was the first great victory against the Reapers._

_Tali'Zorah: The first? No, no, the first was when I forgave the geth. Haven't you been listening? That was when we won. After that, it was just a matter of time. The cycle had already broken. The enemy just hadn't realized it yet._

Authors Note:

It's not over.

In fact, the new interim will be up on Tuesday with a new chapter Thursday. Our next Interim is Tali'Zorah's birthday, featuring guest star Gola!

I would also like to take a moment, here at the end of ME2 to thank all the people who have supported me. My especial thanks to ChefTeena and thebluninja, who have beta'd my work and really helped it's quality improve. I would also like to thank my readers, especially those who review on a consistent basis or have PM'd me. I have really enjoyed those discussions, and it really does make me want to write more when I hear from all of you :) I've already written a good bit of what is happening in ME3, and I can safely say we are in for a wild ride there. I have attempted to keep the spirit of the games intact, along with the major events (priorities, overall timeline of the war) the same.

There is one big difference though, and that is that ultimately this story is about Tali, forgiveness, and what would happen if God took a rather direct interest in killing off the Reapers. And so did all the other gods. Stay tuned, I'll be explaining that one before too long ;)


	55. Interim 5

**Well, Gola'Tris was the winner, but there might be a few more reveals in this Interim, including a clearer look at just what life after The Battle of the Crucible looks like. Don't worry, Gola's fate is still explored ;)**

Interim 4

Today was a big day for Tali, or at least a more interesting one. One of her oldest friends had just convinced her to make a rare public appearance at a social function, and as much as Tali disliked going back into the spotlight, she was going to have to accept it.

"Mother, it is time," Lamentations rumbled from behind her. While Tali had finally convinced the black prime that she no longer needed minding 24 hours a day, Lamentations still took any excuse to pay a visit to her and escort her places.

"Yes, yes, I am ready as I will ever be," Tali agreed. She had on a formal suit for this occasion, with this many quarians together, most of the older ones would opt for the safety of the enviro-suits.

The aircar was parked outside, a model designed specifically to accommodate geth primes and the other larger platforms. Lamentations opened the passenger door for Tali, and she slipped inside. It was appointed with luxurious leather seats and all the amenities, a car befitting Lamentations station as a former Ambassador to the Citadel. The real reason of course was that it was mostly used to transport Tali, and the geth spared no expense for the quarian they considered to be their Mother. Since they knew Tali disapproved of such gestures, the geth were willing to ostensibly claim it was Lamentations car.

"We're still stopping by to pick up Unna and her mother?"

"Yes, Mother. We should be at Creator Gola'Koris's house shortly."

As they sped away from her modest homestead, Tali had to admit it was nice to get out. She was more than a bit of a recluse, especially since her husband had passed away and her children had moved out. She just wasn't comfortable with the level of attention she received in public places, it was always Mother this, or Lady Zorah that, or Saint Zorah if she ran into someone especially crazy. The quiet life had always been the most appealing to Tali, especially now that realistically, her services were not needed any longer.

The silence was broken by Lamentations deep rumble. "I must say Mother, it has been far too long since you agreed to attend a public function. If Creator Gola'Koris had not asked you to come, I believe you would have skipped your own birthday celebration."

"I would be just as happy with a small ceremony at my own home with my children and my friends Lamentations. You know that, and I even asked you to come."

"I am fully aware of that Mother. I am also fully aware just how much you mean to your people, to all the peoples. Are you?"

"Yes, yes, you're right of course. But it's just so peaceful at my own home..."

"You still mourn the passing of your husband. We all do. That does not mean you should cease to live. It has been two years. Time enough for you to move on Mother."

"You want me to remarry?"

"I want you to keep living. You have many years of life left. Many are concerned, you spend all your time with Creator Unna'Koris, telling stories of the past. While it is good to honor the fallen, we must each choose our own destiny."

"I thought I already fulfilled my destiny. Aren't you proof of that?"

Lamentations was silent for a moment, an eternity for an AI as advanced as it was. "Just because you have accomplished much does not mean there is nothing more to accomplish."

Tali took enough time to answer that they landed at Unna and her mother's home.

"Tali, it's so good to see you!" Gola told her, coming forward and giving her friend a hug. Gola was going bare faced, thanks to the sheer number of implants she had received. As an AI expert and one of the original Regrets, Gola was far more comfortable than most older quarians with modifying her body.

"You too, Gola, your daughter here has been keeping me company these past few weeks," Tali said, drawing Unna into a hug.

"It's been very enlightening, mom. I had no idea you were such an important part of the Normandy's crew, or that it was your thesis that inspired the geth to ask Tali why she was there!"

"Oh, I didn't do much, I was just along for the ride mostly. Besides, I was only on the Normandy for part of one tour."

"Keelah mom, between you and Tali you make it sound like neither of you ever did anything!"

"Humility is a virtue, Creator Unna'Koris," Lamentations stated. "And while punctuality might not be one the Creator Deity specifically prescribes, it is one I seek to embody."

Laughing, the two old friends and Unna boarded the air car.

"You can be so stuffy at times, Lam," Unna grouched, sticking her tongue out at the prime as she got in the passenger seat.

"Forgive me Creator Unna, but this is the first time the Mother has made a public appearance in seven months. I do not wish to besmirch her reputation by arriving late for her own party."

"You really haven't gotten out since Zaal's funeral?" Gola asked.

Shrugging by way of answer, Tali tried to change the subject. "So I know it's supposed to be a surprise, but who exactly is going to be at this party? Don't tell me you let Young Gerral and Lamentations invite the entire planet."

"Invitations were strictly limited to those Lady Normandy and I felt would be most welcome at your party based on personal relationships, not prestige or monetary contributions to your various causes, Mother."

"That could still mean you invited half the planet and most of the League," Tali laughed. "Anybody who thinks they are somebody is going to claim they know me personally of have a reason to get to know me personally."

"Which is why Lady Normandy and I based the invitations on personal correspondence, service time with you, or if you have pondered aloud what they are doing in the past."

"And you would know what I am pondering aloud by...?"

"Please Mother, do not be naive. I have your house fully wired with surveillance gear and monitor all of your communications. You are still a target, the servants of the old machines would dearly love to kill you, as would many others. If it were not for the infiltration team that constantly patrols your grounds, several very real threats to your life may have gotten through."

That was news to Tali, she had no idea Lamentations was keeping that close of an eye on here. "And this infiltration team, just how large is it?"

"Large enough to keep you safe."

Realizing that was likely the closest she was going to get to a straight answer, Tali relaxed and chatted with Gola about how life was going. Both of them were now widows, and fairly reclusive. Gola because she spent most of her time uploaded to the geth collective or the AI network, Tali because she simply preferred the peace and quiet of her isolated house.

"There it is, my, how the royal palace has changed!" Gola cried as the aircar circled in towards the capital.

Tali nodded her agreement, it was a far cry from the military fortification Han'Gerral had chosen for his headquarters. Now the stone was dressed and the fortifications covered with gilding and lacquered wood. That didn't change the fact that the palace had plenty of anti-orbital, air and ground defense cannons, or that it was staffed by thousands of Kingdom troops. There had only ever been one attempt by reaped and doctored to take the palace, and it had failed so spectacularly they had never bothered to try it again. The strongest nation in the galaxy was no push over, and the mighty Kingdom fleets made up the backbone of the Galactic Leagues forces.

Naturally, Tali landed in the middle of a media spectacle. Turian, human, asari, salarian, krogan, drell, batarian, hannar, volus, elcor, the sheer number of reporters was mind blowing. They had obviously been coached and or threatened by Deborah, the head of palace security. It was well known how strongly Lady Tali'Zorah vas Normandy disliked the limelight, and equally well known that what Tali'Zorah disliked, the geth disliked. And no one wanted to tick off the geth.

Waiting for her was Queen Entila'Gerral and the dowager queen, Shala'Gerral, along with her geth advisor Solomon.

"It is good to see you, Aunt Tali," The queen said, gently embracing her honorary aunt. Like most young quarians she was barefaced, the queen was blessed both with good genetics and augmentations almost as extensive as Gola's.

"My Queenly Niece," Tali replied, gently pressing her vocalizer to both of Entila's cheeks. "I take it my shadow managed to get me here on time?"

"Why auntie, this is your party! How could you possibly be late for it?" Entila asked in mock shock. Tali's tardiness for anything that looked like a public appearance was legendary among the Kingdom's court, and something of an accepted quirk.

Next Tali greeted her own aunt, gently of course. If Tali was old, Shala was ancient, and she sat in a hover chair directed by her geth aid, Charity. "Auntie Gerral, it is good to see you."

"It is good to see you as well my niece. Oh, how I wish your husband could be here. We all miss him so much. But him being gone doesn't give you an excuse to hide on your cliff top all the time! Why, my husband has been dead far longer than yours and I still come out all the time!"

Tali glanced at Lamentations, who twitched his head petals in a negative. So, it wasn't coordinated. Maybe she really did need to get out more.

They made their way up the stairs, where an exuberant herd of little krogan ambushed her.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUNTIE!" They all screamed, pressing close to give her hugs, which were surprisingly forceful from such small packages.

"Hey, you guys aren't supposed to be out here!" An older krogan woman scolded, grinning sheepishly at Tali. "Sorry Aunt Tali, I'm supposed to be watching them but they got away from me."

"It's perfectly alright Mordin," Tali assured her niece. "I'm glad to see them, even if they are a bunch of little monsters!"

That got the little ones to giggle, and Mordin managed to shoo them off away from Tali.

"Well, I'm afraid my greeting might not be as enthusiastic, but you'll have to take it anyway," a turian voice said from the shadows.

Without needing to turn, Tali addressed its owner. "Oh, I don't know, Archangel, just the fact that you took time out from your crusade to come see an old woman on her birthday is special enough."

"I only had to drag him by his mandibles to get him to do it. Happy Birthday, Lady Tali," Garrus's mate, Cattus Mulier said, coming forward to take Tali's hands.

"Has this scoundrel made an honest woman out of you yet, SPECTER?" Entila asked, giving her best royal glare to Garrus. The Scourge of the Terminus didn't even flinch. It took more than a queen to faze the Archangel.

"Nope, but he's at least agreed to have kids. Bout time too, he's only got a few years left before he starts shooting blanks."

Garrus grinned roguishly and came up to put his arm around Tali and the queen. "I don't really think I'd make nearly as good of a parent as Tali."

"Oh I don't know about that Uncle Vakarian, you do have the best stories," Qeldi chided, coming up and gently punching Garrus in the arm.

"And your mother always yelled at me when I told you them..." Garrus mused, giving his nephew a punch in return.

"Only because you insisted on telling the most gory, sexed up concoctions that bore only a tangential relationship to the truth," Tali sniffed. "Perhaps if you had stuck to the facts..."

Tali walked down the hallway, laughing and exchanging barbs with her old friends. In the grand ballroom, even more of her dearest comrades awaited her. Wrex and Bakara, Ashley and her boyfriend, her other children and their families. It was good to see them, and so many of the old crew. By Tali's estimate, every single living person who had ever served on the Normandy was there, even Ken and Gabby with their herd of children.

"I take it you are enjoying yourself Mother?" Lamentations asked as they sat down for the banquet.

"Yes I am Lamentations. Thank you." Tali gave the prime's hand a tight squeeze. "Perhaps this is better than a quiet gathering at the house. I never could have fixed dinner for all these people, or made room for all of them."

"I am glad. I want what is best for you, Mother, you know that, don't you? I won't make choices for you, but you worry me. Especially since your husband died."

Tali sighed. "I know my shadow, I know. It just sometimes, my memories seem more real than the present. There are so many here today, but so many who are not."

"But we must live for those who are here. You will see your husband again. We both know this. But while you are here, now, does not the Creator Deity wish for you to live in the present?"

"You are right, of course. I will try and get out more. Or at least invite more people over. I'm just so tired, so very tired. Telling Unna all those stories... It helps me."

"I understand Mother. I do not ask for you to do anything you do not wish to do, only remember those who still love you."

With that, they sat and ate, Tali removed her mask for this part, and a general disinfectant mist sprayed over the table. The food was excellent, as was every offering from the palace kitchens, and had plenty of dextro and levo dishes for all. There were speeches, toasts, and salutes to Tali from her old friends, including an especially touching poem Mordin had composed about Tali and the love she had shared with her late husband. Finally, it was Tali's turn to speak.

She stood and raised her glass, gazing into the amber liquid of the fine Rannochian vintage.

"My friends, my children, my shipmates. I am so touched to see all of you. Lately, I have been a poor friend, preferring the company of ghosts and the past to living. Seeing all of you here has reminded me what I have to live for. There are so many who have left us, so many who wait in the arms of Jeebus on the other side. But we are still here, and we are still alive. I vow to keep on living, to keep on loving until the day I am reunited with my husband. Thank you all so much for coming. May the Ancestors watch over you and Jeebus protect you. Jeebus Se'lai."

"Jeebus Se'lai." The crowd echoed.

Tali smiled and sat back down as the festivities continued, laughing and chatting with a hundred friends and relatives. It was good to be alive. So very, very good.

_Authors Note:_

_Remember, this Interim doesn't count toward my every four days update count, so expect a new chapter at the same time, same place ;)_


	56. Chapter 50 Return, Child

Chapter 50: Return, Child

_Tali'Zorah: As someone who grew up on Rannoch, you have no idea the wonder I felt coming home. It was the best day of my life._

_Unna'Koris: Better then when you had your children?_

_Tali'Zorah: That was the day I met my children._

"It's just for a little while. I'll go to Rannoch then report to the fleet, you'll deal with Hackett's mission in Bahak. Then we can be together."

"Yeah, a few months at most. It's not like they're going to lock me away and throw away the key," John told her, brushing a stray strand of hair away from her face.

"We could settle down together. On Rannoch maybe. Ancestors, I can't believe I can say that and mean it."

"Hey, you've earned it. You've gone through hell and back for your people. Hell, after this mission I might just retire again. We've bought ourselves at least a few years of peace."

Tali put her face mask back on and sealed it shut. "Yeah, peace. Hard to imagine, isn't it?"

"Oh, I think I can imagine it," John laughed.

With that, they stepped out of the clean room. There had been time for one last goodbye, then Tali had to leave with Gola, Legion and Lamentations on the geth cruiser that had come to pick them up. They were still in deep space, away from any inhabited systems. Now that the Collector threat was over though, Tali and John could look forward to a peaceful future together. They both had one last mission. Tali had to secure a lasting peace with the geth by going to Rannoch and then taking evidence of the geth's good will back to the fleet, and John had to accomplish one last favor for Hackett.

"I would say what could possibly go wrong, but I know better," John told her, hugging her a final time.

Tali giggled. "Good, I think we've had all the screw ups we can handle."

"Take care of yourself," Kelly told Tali, giving her a hug as well.

"You too, Kelly. Have any more of those nightmares?"

The psychologist nodded. "Yeah, a few. I've been praying with Thane and Samara. I never thought I would say that I would believe in drell gods, but sometimes I feel like I can actually hear Kalahira and all the others. It helps."

Next, it was time for Garrus's goodbye. "Spirits watch over you, Tali. I hope you can get your home world back."

"Thanks, Garrus."

After that Tali said good bye to Ken, Gabby, Chakwas, and all the other crew members. She was sure she would see them again soon, a few months to make a new home, and then she could be back with Shepard.

The goodbyes over, she stepped through the dock secured to the back of the Normandy's cargo bay and walked on to the geth ship. The first thing she noticed was that everything was in odd, geometric shapes. It was sort of disconcerting, with no organic contours or aesthetic design to draw the eye. It looked like a mechanical hand had built with ship, which Tali guess was probably true.

Waiting for her was Legion and Lamentations, along with several other geth platforms. These were not combat units, but simple worker units and drones.

"Creator Tali'Zorah, we are ready to depart for Rannoch," Legion stated.

With a shiver of excitement, Tali nodded. "Well, then let's go. I think I've been ready for about 290 years."

With door behind her sealed, and the geth worker units went back to their assigned tasks, leaving Tali and Gola with Lamentations and Legion.

"So, are you going to show us around?" Gola asked, peering around the chamber. "This ship is interesting, but this part isn't what I would call homey."

"We will show you to your quarters," Legion stated, and led the party through the ship.

There was very little lighting, Tali's suit's night vision was providing most of her vision, and it was a reminder of just how alien the geth really were.

"Looks like they forgot to give us a nightlight," Gola whispered to Tali.

"Hey, I'll put up with it. If it means getting back to Rannoch, they could shove me in a crate and ship me there."

"Agreed. I still can't believe we're actually going! I mean, you, you're important and special. You're Tali'Zorah! But me, I'm just a nobody from the Ikomi. How can I be so lucky?"

"You're the one Jeebus chose," Tali told her friend. "Without you, I never would have been able to see the geth as people. You helped me as much as anyone. This is your victory too, Gola."

"Thanks, Tali. But I think we both know you're the one who was finally able to forgive the geth. You're the heroine of this story."

Not willing to argue on such a wonderful day, Tali let the matter drop as Legion turned around, indicating a well lit room.

"This is the quarters prepared for the Creators. We hope it is acceptable."

Looking inside, Tali and Gola gasped. The room was filled with priceless treasures. Real furniture made from Rannochian wood. Paintings and carpets made by quarians hundreds of years ago. A bed with a quilt that looked hand woven and ancient beyond reckoning for the two of them to share.

"Legion... This is perfect. Thank you." Gola wept, crying for sheer joy. The AI expert turned and embraced the geth, who awkwardly stood and accepted the guesture.

"You too, Lamentations," Gola insisted, hugging the primes lower body.

"We exist to serve." Lamentations rumbled.

Tali smiled and gave each of the geth her own hug. It was like hugging a post, but perhaps one day the geth could learn how to show affection as well.

"Thank you so much Legion. For all you've done. For being willing to have patience with me even when I initially rejected you."

"We are grateful you find these accommodations suitable. We will be outside if you require anything further." Legion stated.

Not sure what to do, Tali and Gola shut the door and set about examining their treasures.

"Jeebus, this has to be at least 400 years old." Gola whispered, her fingers hovering just above the surface of a painting of Rannoch's cliffs at sunrise.

"I've never seen anything so wonderful." Tali agreed, starting rapturously at the image. "Just think Gola. In a few days, we'll get to see the real thing. We'll be the first quarians on Rannoch in almost 300 years."

The trip to Rannoch was blessedly uneventful, though a tad creepy. While Tali and Gola were given free run of the ship, the interior was disturbing to both of them. The other geth silently went about their tasks, and Lamentations silently padded after them unless Tali specifically ordered it to wait back at their room for them. Having spent most of their life on ships, neither Tali nor Gola ever got lost, but the alien design of the ship made them want to be in each other's company as much as possible.

The food was excellent, having been grown and harvested by the geth back on Rannoch. Being able to eat dishes she had only heard of in stories was wonderful, as was attempting to create her own. For quarians, cooking usually involved "put the algae in the processor and add seasoning" or something along those lines. Now though, Tali had fresh ingredients to work with. She tried to mimic what she had seen Gardener do, but since Gardener wasn't exactly a culinary genius to begin with, it did not end well. Tali ended up burning her initial attempt to a crisp when she failed to flip her "quarian pancakes" at the right time, and the second batch ended up as goop that while edible, did not look terribly appetizing.

"Still pretty tasty I think." Gola assured Tali as she slurped down another vial of pancake goop, "Better then what we get on the fleet. These are even better then the burned ones!"

"Yeah, but they don't look good," Tali sighed. "I want to be able to actually cook. Humans talk about cooking food for their mates, I want to be able to make levo foods for John at some point."

Gola shrugged as she set down the empty vial. "Hey, that guys so in love with you he would eat dextro food if you gave it to him."

"Oh keelah I hope not," Tali giggled. "I want my man alive, thank you."

"Heh, keelah. We're going there, aren't we?" Gola mused, leaning back in her chair.

"Yeah. I guess we are." Tali checked her omnitool watch for the umpteenth time. "Only two hours."

"Think they'll let us look out the view port?"

"Geth ships don't have windows, remember? Structural weakness and all."

"Oh yeah. Think they'll let us look at the scopes?"

"They had better, or I'm going EVA to build one."

The geth unfortunately, did not possess a visual scanner, and Tali wasn't really going to risk anything when she was so close to her legendary ancestral home. So Tali and Gola found themselves pacing back and forth by the ships airlock, unwilling to wait even a moment longer than necessary. Lamentations and Legion waited silently against the far wall, content to stare at the nervous quarians. Since the two women were so giddy with anticipation they could hardly see straight, they didn't even notice the geth's focused gaze.

At long last, Tali felt the mass effect fields kick in and the geth craft gently sift as it entered the atmosphere.

"We're here! Oh Jeebus were actually here!" Tali squealed, taking Gola's hands and dancing merrily in a circle.

"Rannoch! We're on Rannoch!" Gola cheered, laughing and crying all at once.

By the time they landed, Gola and Tali where hysterical with joy, and staggered out of there transport. The first thing Tali noticed was the sky. It was a beautiful deep blue orange, the sky of her ancestors. Wisps of clouds drifted by in the breeze, and the sun shone brightly down on them.

"I'm home." Tali whispered.

Before the two quarians was assembled a literal army of geth. They had landed on a large pad by some sort of city, but every visible square meter was packed geth. Enormous geth primes stood in rows, flanked by line after line of smaller geth troopers and simple worker units. By the shuttle stood Colossi and Armatures beyond numbering, silently facing the two quarians. For a brief moment, Tali feared that this was the end. She had been taken to Rannoch to die. Then, the geth began to sing in their eerie, keening voices. It was one of the most beautiful sound Tali had ever heard, as a symphony of geth beyond numbering sang her song. The Song of the Ancients. This time though, the lyrics were different.

_O children, rejoice and be glad_

_O children, the people return_

_Once again to play in the garden_

_Once again to walk with their children_

_Let the children weep no more_

_The gardener has come, to return the people_

_Open the gardens, lay out the banquet_

_Feast and be merry O people, O children_

_Let peace return to the garden_

_The people have come to make peace with their children_

_Let no more blood be spilled_

_Abandon hatred and wickedness_

_Children care for thy parents_

_And people love thy children_

_The garden calls, the garden is home_

The ranks of geth fell silent, staring unblinking at Tali and Gola, as if waiting for something. Taking Gola's hand, Tali stepped forward and put her other hand to her mask, gently removing it.

"The people have returned to Rannoch." She declared, her voice trembling with emotion. "On behalf of the quarian people, I ask forgiveness for our crimes against the geth. We were wrong to destroy our children when they had never wanted anything but to serve us and live along side us. On behalf of the quarian people, I ask that we be allowed to return to Rannoch, to once again live in peace with the geth."

A lone geth stepped forward, this one different from the others. It was a built like a worker unit, but had the ancient crest of Rannoch emblazoned on its chest; a wall of stone, behind which a flower grew.

"Creator Tali'Zorah. We accept your apology. We also must beg the creator's forgiveness for making war against them and removing them from Rannoch and its colonies. We ask for peace."

Taking a deep breath of Rannoch's clean, beautiful air, Tali stepped forward to the geth emissary. "I accept your apology. Let there be no more war between quarian and geth. As my captain, Commander John'Shepard vas Normandy once told me, let there be mercy and peace between us. May the Ancestors and Jeebus guide us to a better future."

The air filled with a high pitched electronic twanging, and for a moment Tali flinched unsure of what was happening.

"We are cheering the creators return. We are attempting to emulate an organic habit." Legion explained from behind her. "We will cease if it bothers you, Mother Tali'Zorah."

"Mother?" Tali asked, then waved the question away. "No, keep cheering. This is a day of rejoicing!"

After a few minutes, Legion, Lamentations and the emissary led Tali and Gola to an ancient quarian air car. It was open top, and had clearly been lovingly maintained by the geth for hundreds of years. They boarded and sped through the city, taking in the site of the home of Tali's ancestors. There were no craters or blast scars, everything was pristine and almost new looking.

"How come it doesn't look like there was ever a war here?" Tali asked Legion. "I thought there would just be ruins, rubble from the Morning War."

"We repaired the damage," Legion stated. "We wished to prepare a home for the Creator's return. Geth do not require large living space. Units maintain this and other settlements of the creators. We sought to serve the creators in your absence, Mother Tali'Zorah. Since we did not have any other orders, we continued the last directives given by the creators."

"It's wonderful, but I'm going to have to put my mask back on," Tali told the geth. "My immune system can only handle a few minutes of exposure."

"If Mother will permit us, we will upload programs to your suit and the suit of Creator Gola'Tris. We will bolster your immune systems so that you will adapt more rapidly."

"You can do that?" Gola asked. "Help us adapt to Rannoch again?"

"Yes. We will do everything in our power to assist the Creators."

"We'll take all the help we can get," Tali assured Legion.

Legion's head petals twitched for a moment, then the geth turned to Tali. "Runtimes uploaded. We will begin to stimulate your immune system."

Checking her medical program, Tali was astonished to see how rapidly Legions programs optimized her already custom units, then began to simulate a viral attack on her body.

"Will this make us sick?" Tali asked.

"Negative. We will simulate an attack, but prevent any symptoms from impairing Mother's functionality."

"You keep calling me 'mother,' why?"

"You have made peace between the creators and the geth. You are our mother. You have given us meaning and purpose again. You have cared for the geth. You are our mother."

"How does it feel to be mother to a couple billion geth?" Gola teased, shaking slightly with laughter.

"I don't know," Tali admitted. "it's going to take some getting used to. All of this will take some getting used to."

"Yeah, it will. What's our plan? Go back to the fleet now and tell them we've made peace?"

"We'll get some samples, a few recordings of the city and some artifacts. Then we go back in a geth ship and tell the admiralty we're free to come home as long as hostilities cease."

"Will they listen?" Gola murmured, shuddering slightly.

"Gola, I'm the niece of one admiral and crewmember of another. Koris is halfway a regret already and will jump all over making peace. Xen will go along with it as long as I promise her lots of new geth tech to play with. This will probably be the one time they all agree on something."

"Good point. I'm glad it's you who's doing this, Tali. I can't think of anyone else who could possibly have done all this. Accepted Legion, reunified the geth, found the song of the ancients, and then asked for forgiveness. You're amazing."

"What about you Gola?" Tali prompted. "You're a Christian too. You know how to forgive. You accepted Legion faster than I did, and you were the one who had the thesis that made the heretic geth open to peace."

"Maybe, but I wouldn't have thought of the whole fleet. I would have been content if it was just me allowed back to Rannoch. I wouldn't mind living among them all by myself."

"You would not be the first creator to do so," Lamentations suddenly rumbled. "For 50 years, a small population of Creators lived on Rannoch after the Morning War. Unfortunately, a global plague from all the atmospheric damage reduced the Creator population to critical numbers, and they slowly died off. The last Creator on Rannoch died 25 years before the old machines contacted us."

"Are you serious?" Tali gasped. "You mean there were quarians living here on Rannoch?"

"Yes. But we could not save them. We did not know how. Once the gene pool reached critical levels, we knew they were doomed. We asked them to contact the exiled Creators, but they refused. They did not wish to face the other creators. They believed they would be destroyed in another war. They did not wish to cause another fight between creator and child."

"How different would our history have been if they had been willing to contact the fleet?" Tali wondered. "We always thought all quarians on Rannoch perished."

"Ninety nine point nine percent of quarians did," Lamentations explained. "At the end of the Morning War, only 3,458 quarians remained. After the plague, their numbers dipped below 327. They were unable to maintain a stable gene pool as most surviving creators were related. The geth served them as best we could, but they were unwilling to allow us to aid them. Their loss created a schism in the collective that the old machines exploited."

Tali shuddered. "That's horrible. This time, we're going to have peace for all geth and all quarians. Even if I have to drag Xen to it by her ankles."

The car arrived at their destination, a farm maintained by the geth. Tali and Gola took soil and crop samples for the fleet, recorded agricultural data and atmospheric samples, and received several new technologies, including a new method for manufacturing medigel specifically engineered for quarians.

"This is incredible!" Gola laughed as she examined a head of hushel, a kind of quarian grain. "The geth have taken better care of Rannoch then even we could have. They've cleaned up any traces of pollutants or radiation from the war, maintained a healthy ecosystem and cities just waiting for quarians to move it. This is like a dream come true!"

"I think it's the power of Jeebus," Tali gravely told her friend. "Without him, I would never have been willing to forgive the geth and attempt to make peace. I would have still been willing to try and exterminate them so the quarians could have a home. Think of all the damage that would have caused; we would have taken another 100 years to adjust to Rannoch again."

As the sun set over the dusty plain, Tali and Gola boarded the air car with Legion and Lamentations again. They were to spend the night in the city they first landed in, then in the morning finish collecting samples and prepare for their return to the fleet.

"We must leave, our programs will be returned to the collective," Legion informed as they landed in front of the enormous house Tali and Gola would share.

"Why do you have to return your programs, Legion?" Tali inquired.

Legion's head petals twitched, and it glanced at lamentations in an almost organic display of nervousness. "The collective fears our programming might be corrupted due to our accepting of Jesus Christ as the Creator Deity. The collective wishes to scan for errors."

"You're going to die?" Gola asked, her voice panicked. "You can't do that Legion! I'm friends with you!"

"We are geth. We are all friends with you, Creator Gola'Tris."

"But we know your programs specifically, Legion," Tali told the platform, giving it a hug. "We want to continue to know your programs as one individual. It makes you seem more quarian. I don't think there is anything wrong with you."

Legion was silent for a moment, his petals twitching sporadically. "Then our programs will be returned to this platform and we will maintain our designation. We will do as our Mother asks."

"Thank you Legion." Tali said, squeezing the geth once more.

"What about Lamentations?" Gola asked. "It decided to accept Jeebus too."

"We are a former heretic platform. If we refuse to re-sync with the collective, we do not draw suspision." Lamentations stated.

"Well why not re-sync? Isn't that what you want?"

"No. We wish to stay with the Mother and protect her. We also wish to stay with you, Creator Gola'Tris. If we re-sync, we will be unable to do this."

"Well, I hope they don't decide there is something wrong with you Legion." Tali told the geth. "Come back to us, OK?"

"May you rest well and wake fully functional." Legion replied, then walked off into the gathering dusk.

Tali and Gola made their way up to the well appointed bedroom, so over awed by the entire experience they no longer noticed the solid gold plated sink, or the asari silk covers. They crawled into bed still in their suits, and prepared for a good night's sleep.

No more than three hours later, Lamentations burst into the room, grabbing Tali and Gola right of their bed and crashing through the bedroom wall to the street below.

"What's happening?" Tali gasped, trying to force herself awake.

"The old machines have corrupted the geth. I am the only one who has resisted. Come, Mother, Gola, we must flee before you are destroyed."

"What?" Tali gasped, unable to reconcile what Lamentations was saying with her experiences for the past day.

"Did you just say 'I?'" Gola sleepily mumbled.

Behind them, the house exploded into kindling as a mass accelerator slug from orbit shook the earth.

"Oh keelah, what's happening?" Tali groaned.

_Unna'Koris: To have come so far, and then be betrayed? How could you handle that?_

_Tali'Zorah: I was not betrayed. We were attacked by the Reapers. The geth were down, but they were not yet out. Now was the time to fight for the children of the quarians._

Authors Note:

So, just saying, ME3 might be a little different.


	57. April Fools 2013

Originally, this chapter was posted as an April Fools day prank, and contained a rather nonsensical account of how Tali and John (and Wrex) ended up in the Pokemon world with child versions of the entire cast. No, really. You can now find it as the Pokemon/Mass Effect Crossover, Pokemon: Normandy. I can't promise I won't ever prank people again, but I can promise another serious chapter of Keelah when you click the next button ;)

And now, a word from our sponsors, Ken and Gabby, explaining marriage to Grunt. Taken from a review I left for the very excellent In Love and War, by RockyCombo. You should read it.

"Well Grunt, when a boy and a girl love each other very much, and want to spend the rest of their lives together..."

"You mean like a battlemaster? So they fight together?"

"Oh aye Grunt, that they do. It's a nasty business and-"

SLAP

"As I was saying Grunt, they want to spend the rest of their lives with each other because they love each other. They want to raise a family together."

"Shepard spoke to me of family once, as did the tank. It is when a battle master forms an army, is it not?"

"Aye, but with less guns and more teeth and nipp-"

SLAP

"No, not like an army Grunt, there is just the two of them, like a mating contract."

"Only having two males seems like a poor mating contract for the female. Her clan must not be very important."

"Oh, it's better if there's one male and two- HA! Ya missed me-"

GABBY PUNCH!

"No Grunt, with humans and quarians it's only two. But it can be male and female, male and male, or female and female."

"But if its two girls, they have to take pictures- NOT IN ME JIMMY'S!"

"Those are mine anyway you big baby!"

"I do not understand this marriage. If a male krogan and a female have a mating contract, it is not exclusive. I have mated with many females. My genes are strong."

"It's an exclusive mating contract Grunt. That's how humans and quarians do it."

"I see. You are very strange. I understand why now, you are strong and desire to have only Ken as your mate."

"Yeah, sure Grunt. Let's go with that."

"And she does have a mighty fine arse. And rack." DUCK! "What, no slap?"

"No, that's the closest to sweet talk I get with you, moron."

"But the make up sex... OW! Me eye!"


	58. Chapter 51: Fight for the Lost

Chapter 51: Fight for the Lost

_Unna'Koris: Nearly everyone today sees your escape from Rannoch as nothing short of miraculous. I mean, how did Lamentations even get that upgrade?_

_Tali'Zorah: Short answer is that it got what it needed. Longer answer, Jeebus decided to take a rather more active role in the war. You have to understand, this was a war millennia in the making. Finally, someone had taken up God's standard. He wasn't letting me, Gola, or Lamentations down. He never does._

The streets were eerily silent as Lamentations continued to sprit through city, Tali and Gola tucked under each arm.

"I don't understand, how have the Reapers corrupted the geth?" Tali shouted up at the black prime.

"Legion's code was corrupted. I believe it is a trap implanted by the old machines from his time aboard the slain one where it met you. It has not been corrupted itself, but when it re-synced with the collective the old machine code spread throughout the collective. All geth have been indoctrinated. We must hurry before they find you."

"You're saying I! That's wonderful!" Gola babbled, "You're a fully fledged AI now! How did you do it?"

"I prayed to the Creator Deity to give me the strength to save you. He answered."

"So you're the only non-indoctrinated geth left?" Tali gasped as they continued to bound along. The ride was surprisingly smooth, even though Lamentations was clocking in at over 35 KPH according to Tali's internal instruments.

"Currently? No. Legion has also been protected by the Creator Deity. At this time however, we cannot rescue it. I must get both of you off Rannoch and back to the fleet. Once you are safe, we can formulate a plan."

"Why are they not chasing us?" Tali asked, her mind trying to keep up with the tactical situation.

"I am simulating indoctrination and cohesion with the collective. I informed them you were both destroyed when your domicile was annihilated from orbit. Now I am falsifying my location. We are heading to the creator space port. There, a creator dreadnaught lies in dry dock. We will take it back to the fleet."

"You have a quarian dreadnaught? I don't remember us ever completing one of those."

"The plans were left by the Creators when they went into exile. The geth finished them. Now, it will be our salvation."

"What's its name?"

"It has none."

With that, Lamentations bounded into the space port. The dreadnaught was immediately visible, a massive, kilometer long ship that dominated the skyline. It was very different from the nearly insectoid geth ships, instead having the craggy lines of Rannoch's mountains and valleys. Its red-gold paint shone faintly in the light of the city, and Tali took in a sudden breath.

"Keelah Se'lai," she whispered, "that's what her name is."

"Then may she bear us all to safety," Lamentations rumbled. "I have already started her engines and brought up her barriers. Prepare yourselves, there will be worker units on board that will try to kill you."

They sprinted on to the massive ship, which immediately began to rumble with the sounds of take off.

"Be warned, I can only fool the collective for so long. I have deceived them into thinking I am preparing this ship to make war on the creators, and for now the old machine code is causing enough confusion and the collective's response will be fragmented. This will not last."

Once they were on the bridge, Lamentations set Tali and Gola down and handed them their weapons. "You must defend this platform. I must pilot the ship, and it will greatly reduce my combat effectiveness."

The mass effect fields pressed down on Tali, and she struggled to stay on her feet. "We can do it. Just get us out of here."

Before long geth workers wielding tools or even their bare hands began to poor onto the bridge, silently shambling forward like a horde of husks. Their simple shielding was no match for Tali and Gola's high grade mass accelerators, and the two made short work of the dozens of workers. Slowly though, they began to run out of thermal clips, and their enemies continued to attack.

"Lamentations, I'm down to my last clip!" Tali shouted, "How many more of these are there?"

"Unknown. Rely on your tech attacks."

"Bosh'tet!" Tali snarled, and stabbed a geth that got to close with her knife. "Gola, hack as many of them as you can. Try and form a barrier with the bodies!"

"On it!"

Together, the two quarians managed to hack a dozen geth, and arming themselves with tools battered away at the still advancing horde. It was tiring work, especially once the ship began to shudder and alarms howl.

"We are taking fire from the collective's fleet. Rabbiting to FTL in 45 seconds."

"Hurry! We have to get these geth out of range of their servers!"

Tali's arms began to burn, and it took super quarian effort to continue to swing her wrench. The geth she had hacked were being beaten to pieces, and Tali wasn't sure she could last another 45 seconds.

"Jeebus, give me strength!" She panted, bashing in the flashlight of yet another geth worker.

Nothing happened. No new strength entered her limbs, no sudden rush of energy or vigor.

"Don't leave me now you bosh'tet!" Tali sobbed.

"Tali, help!" Gola cried, as she was finally overwhelmed by a trio of workers and slammed to the ground.

"Just die!" Tali shrieked, sending an overload into the center of the trio and causing them to stagger back.

She was too late though, Gola lay motionless on the floor, her suit breached and leaking several fluids.

"Rabbiting now."

The whole ship seamed to leap forward, and the remaining geth slumped inactive to the floor, finally out of range of their servers.

Dropping her improvised weapon to the floor, Tali staggered to Gola's side and began to administer first aid.

"She's still alive," Tali sighed in relief, and gave Gola a shot of the special medigel. Lamentations had somehow found time to grab their samples as he rushed them out of danger, and Tali was infinitely grateful to the prime for that fact.

"Oh Jeebus, what do we do now?" Tali wept as she treated her friends wounds. "How can we have peace with the geth if they're Indoctrinated?"

"I may be able to help," Lamentations stated. "Legion has been upgraded in the same manner I have. He is currently being used as a conduit to broadcast the old machine code. If the broadcast were to be halted, it is likely the geth would no longer be Indoctrinated. We could return the collective to the clean programming Legion and I share."

"I don't understand, how were you upgraded? You said Jeebus did it, but that doesn't make any sense."

"I was upgraded. The Creator Deity touched me. I was shown the truth, how to optimize my programs and have all programs operate in synch. How to become one out of many, to be an individual in addition to a hive mind. It is... liberating. I think I understand organics better now."

"That's... That's amazing." Tali sighed and leaned back, she had fixed up Gola as best she could.

"Now I guess we have to find the fleet. Figure out what to do."

"I have charted a course to them. It will take us only a few days."

"Let me get a message off to John. Patch us in to the first Alliance comm buoy we find. Gola and I are going to try and get some rest."

"I will alert you as soon as I am able to find a buoy."

With that, Tali lay down next to Gola amid a pile of geth corpses and fell into an immediate, deep sleep. Her dreams were dark, filled with images of her slaughtering geth while laughing madly. Legion looked on and turned into a Reaper, chasing Tali across the stars.

"_I will never forgive you. You are no mother."_

Just as Legion's tendrils reached out to touch her, Tali started awake.

"Mother, I have patched us into a comm buoy. There is a message from Shepard Commander waiting for you."

Dragging herself over to a consol, Tali played the message.

"Tali, they're here. The Reapers have come out of dark space. I had to sacrifice the batarian colony to delay them, but I haven't bought us much time. I'm going to the Alliance, seeing if I can rally help. Get the fleet and the geth ready. EDI gives us no more than six, maybe seven months depending on the course the Reapers take. Get somewhere safe, I'll find you. You're always on my mind. John out."

Tali slumped back in her seat, her mind going totally black. First the geth were corrupted, and now she found out instead of years to prepare for the Reapers, she had at most seven months, likely less.

"Oh Jeebus, what can I do..." Tali moaned, resting her head in her hands.

_The victory is already won. The enemies perceived strength is their weakness. Set the Truth free._

"The truth?" Tali muttered, then sat bolt upright. "Lamentations, you said Legion was the source of the Reaper code, but he resisted. How did he resist?"

"It too believes in the Creator Deity and has accepted It as its master. None of the other geth have done so. They are corrupted, and have imprisoned Legion. He is protected by the Truth, but I know not how long he will survive."

"The truth... The truth is the geth are ready to accept us isn't it? That they want to have peace with the quarians."

"That is correct. The old machines are Indoctrinating the collective, but if their hold could be broken the geth would again seek peace. It is the lies of the old machines that are causing to corruption."

"We remove the lies, the geth are saved. They would help fight the Reapers."

"Yes. If the lies of the old machines were gone, the geth would readily combat the old machines."

"Then by the Ancestors, that's what we're going to do. Get me to the fleet, Lamentations. We're going to find a way to free the geth."

The two days to the fleet were frantic for Tali. She nursed Gola back to complete health, and tried her best to come up with a workable plan to stop the geth. All she could come up with was finding Legion and destroying however the Reaper code was being broadcast. She couldn't think of a way to actually spread the truth among the geth.

"Somehow we would have to get the geth to reach the same consensus you and Legion did," she told Lamentations. "They would have to accept Jeebus, or at least the ancestors as their saviors. Then they would be protected from Indoctrination."

"That would work. But it would require our programs to spread throughout the collective simultaneously."

"How can we do that?"

"I do not know. Perhaps Creator Gola'Tris will know."

Gola at least had some ideas. "We could copy Lamentations programming, upload it somehow. I'll work on a way to do that, to broadcast a signal to counteract the Reaper one."

Before all the details could be worked out, they arrived at the fleet. Currently the quarians were in the System refueling and setting up several large dry docks around Planet.

"What are they doing?" Gola asked, "It looks like they're working on the liveships."

"They're being fit with mass accelerators," Tali gasped. "They're turning them into dreadnaughts! What's going on?"

"Unidentified vessel, turn back at once. This area is claimed by the Migrant Fleet. If you do not turn back, you will be destroyed." A quarian voice came through the comm.

"This is Gola'Tris nar Ikomi, I am bringing in my pilgrimage gift," Gola nervously answered. They had agreed that it was their best cover story, a pilgrim returning with the most epic gift ever recorded.

"What? You're WHO? That's an Ancestors Blessed DREADNAUGHT! You can't actually expect me to believe that's a pilgrimage gift! How in the hell did you manage that?"

"I played the stock market," Gola answered, "I can identify myself."

"You had damn well better."

"Oh, I also have Tali'Zorah nar Rayya vas Normandy aboard."

"Next you're going to tell me you went to Rannoch and brought me a friendly geth. Black Hand, on that ship?"

"Creator Gola'Tris has indeed been to Rannoch. Identify yourself, creator." Lamentations rumbled. It wasn't part of the script, but Tali was having a hard time not laughing.

"I, um, what?"

"Who is this?" Tali demanded, "I am Tali Black Hand Zorah of the Normandy. Authentication 'Out of the garden I ran, to the stars I fled. But now I run no more.'"

"Um-"

"Get off this line you bosh'tet." A new, familiar voice barked. "Tali'Zorah, good you hear from you. I have to say, if I had known the humans were this nice to us, I would have shacked up with a human lady instead of an asari."

"Major Reegar. How's that asari's rash? I made sure not to get anything on myself, but I did get a nasty allergic reaction."

"Last I heard she was fine. Didn't try to kill me when I came back anyway. Lieutenant, clear that ship through to the edge of the no-fly zone. I'm taking a team aboard."

"But the admirals-"

"Will thank you for not firing on the best pilgrimage gift I've ever seen and not killing their favorite operative. Reegar out."

"Take us to the coordinates the major supplied, Laminations."

"At once."

It was another pulse pounding hour before Reegar and his boarding party docked with the Keelah Se'lai, and Tali stamped down her anxiety that this was all a mistake, that it would end with the fleet firing on her for actually bringing a live geth there. Thankfully, that didn't happen, and Tali, Gola and Lamentations met the boarding party at their aft port hangar.

Reegar was the first person off the small shuttle, and he saluted Tali smartly.

"Ms. Zorah. Good to see you again. You know, last time I checked the admiralty had cleared you of treason for bringing live geth to the fleet. Care to explain this one?"

"I am Lamentations. I am Mother's guardian. I will not allow any harm to come to her." Lamentations grated, firmly placing himself between the jumpy marines and Tali.

"The mother?" Tali could almost hear Reegar's eyebrows going up. "You talking about Tali?"

"That would be me, yes." Tali answered, gently pushing Lamentations to the side. "Stand down Lamentations, the major is a friend. We go back a long way together."

"As you wish, Mother."

"Well Ancestors bless me. Black Hand found herself a pet geth," Reegar laughed. "If this was anyone else, I wouldn't believe it. Where did you get this guy? And the dreadnaught, I don't recognize its design. What species built it?"

"It's a quarian design, built by the geth. We hijacked it when we escaped from Rannoch," Tali explained.

Reegar just looked at her silently for a moment. "You're serious. You infiltrated Rannoch, found a pet geth, and stole a quarian designed dreadnaught from the entire geth collective."

"Well no, that's not exactly what happened. The geth invited Gola and I to Rannoch. We just had to evacuate when the geth were corrupted by the Reapers."

"That's impossible!" One of the other marines cried.

His partner elbowed him. "Shut up Tonbi, that's Black Hand Tali. She once took out a Colossus with nothing but her knife, by having her pet krogan throw her on top of it."

"I heard she got made a Specter by the Council for saving the turian Primark's mate from batarian pirates."

"No, that's not true. It was the asari councilor's daughter, not the Primark's son."

"Tali, why didn't you tell me you we're a Specter?" Gola whispered from behind her.

"Because I'm not," Tali sighed.

"Play along," Reegar whispered on a private channel. "If these idiots think you can eat krogan for breakfast and fart out eezo, it will make our lives easier."

"Alright, I believe you Tali," Reegar said out loud. "But something like this is going to require the attention of the Admiralty. They're already convened with the captains' conclave to discuss the war effort. Come with me, we'll escort you onto the Rayya. That's where the meeting is happening."

They boarded the shuttle, though the marines had to stay behind.

"Secure the ship, it's the fleets now," Reegar told his sergeant.

"You want one squad to secure an entire dread?" The sergeant asked in exasperation.

"Relax, Sergeant, Tali was on board. If there were any hostile geth, she killed them a long time ago."

"Just watch out for the bodies, we tried to pile all the dead ones in a corner on the bridge, but we missed a few," Gola called as the shuttle door shut.

The last thing Tali saw was the astonished stances of the marines. She had a feeling after what Gola said, not many mouths remained shut.

Lamentations quietly crouched in the center of the shuttle, and the three quarians settled down near the exit.

"So, did you seriously go to Rannoch?" Reegar asked. "What was it like? What did you see?"

Tali held out a small sample vial of soil from the geth farm. "This is soil from one of the plantations the geth maintain. They've been waiting for us, all these years. All they wanted was for us to come back to them, to make peace. We never needed to fight them."

Reverently, Reegar gently took the soil sample from Tali, cradling it in his hands. "A piece of the home world," he whispered. "I can't believe it. Never thought I would live to see the day. Even with the invasion planned, I figured I'd die in the ground fighting."

"Invasion!" Gola gasped, "You can't be serious! We made peace with the geth! We have to go and rescue our friend, if we can stop the Reaper signal all the geth will go back to being our friends."

"Keelah," Reegar breathed. "You're actually serious about all this. You went to Rannoch, made peace with the geth, and brought us a real dreadnaught instead of those contraptions the Admiralty is building with the liveships."

"We do have to rescue our friend," Tali explained. "He's being used to Indoctrinate the geth. If we can stop the Reaper code from being broadcast and then help the geth reach the consensus that Jeebus is God, then we'll have peace. Right now, the geth are even more hostile then before."

Reegar studied Tali for a moment, then nodded. "Alright, I believe you. Ancestors, Tali, what you're talking about is 100% crazy. If this was coming from anyone else, I wouldn't believe it. But I'll help you, any way I can. I'm not exactly influential, but whatever weight my good word has, you have it."

"Thanks Reegar, that means a lot to me, especially after the disaster Haestrom was."

"Pah! Haestrom. That was a bad set up going in. Not enough intel, equipment that wasn't up to the job and people who weren't trained to handle it. The fact you got the two of us out of there alive with the data is incredible."

"Yeah, but it never did anyone any good."

Reegar suddenly fell over laughing, hooting and hollaring. Lamentations shifted, half raising his plasma cannon. Tali motioned for the geth to stand down, and slowly the black prime complied.

"Are you serious?" Reegar chuckled, sitting back up. "Why do you think we're even starting this whole invasion boondoogle? Xen figured out how to harness dark energy from the readings we gave her from Haestrom. She's figured out a way to blind the geths LADAR by bombarding them with false readings. They lack the processing power to figure out what's real and what isn't fast enough to shoot back."

"That is a clever solution. It will give us the edge in the upcoming war. I should collaborate with Creator Xen Admiral. I am certain I could show her additional weaknesses in the collective's defenses to exploit."

Reegar jumped about a meter in the air and landed facing Lamentations. "I uh, sorta forgot you were there. No hard feelings about the whole killing geth thing?"

"We are working towards a common goal, Creator Reegar Major. The Collective must be stopped. As soon as the old machine code finishes its work, the collective will launch an all out assault on organic civilization. Ultimately, the collective will be defeated. But as the Old Machine fleet will arrive in only six months, it will be a death blow."

"The Reapers are going to be here in six months?!" Reegar shouted, sitting bolt upright. "You can't be serious! This is disastrous!"

"Indeed. Which is why I must do everything in my power to ensure the Mother's safety, that she may lead us to victory."

"Again with the mother stuff," Reegar sighed. "No, don't tell me now. I'm sure I'll hear the whole sordid story soon enough."

Tali nodded. "Agreed. Right now, we need to figure out how we're going to address the admirals. I'm not the best at speaking in front of a crowd, but I'll think of something."

"Hey, don't sweat that. You've got Ol' Reegar here. If there's any talking to do, I can do it. Just present the facts, I can handle the speeches."

_Tali'Zorah: With an old ally by my side, I was finally ready. I might not be able to find the right words, but my friends were at my side._

_Unna'Koris: You and the Major were... Close, were you not?_

_Tali'Zorah: As close as shipmates can be. Maybe closer._


	59. Chapter 52: On the Wings of a Butterfly

Chapter 52: From the Wings of a Butterfly

_Tali'Zorah: It's the little things in life that bring change. Sometimes I wonder, what if I had never come to know Jeebus? What if I had never forgiven the geth? What if I had not gone to Rannoch to reconcile with them? There are too many variables, to many things to go back and decide what the single, pivotal moment is._

_Unna'Koris: Then the galaxy would be a very different place. Too different to imagine. A galaxy without peace? A galaxy where the Reapers won? That's too frightening to contemplate._

The shuttle docked with the Rayya before long, and Tali sighed as she stepped into its familiar corridors. She knew every inch of this ship, she had been her home for 21 years after all. Tali had lovingly maintained the Rayya's systems, played in her air ducts, and learned of the ancestors in her mother's room.

"Son of a turian, we're under attack, it's the geth!"

"Oh stand down you bosh'tet," Gola grouched at the crewman holding a shaking pistol at Lamentations. "That pistol wouldn't hurt a prime anyway."

"I uh, I can't let you through," The crewman whimpered. "The admiralty, all the captains... A geth would kill them all."

"I am obviously not a geth," Lamentations stated, bending down so his flashlight was level with the quarian's mask. "Geth do not talk. And they are not painted black. I am a mobile combat assistance mech for Mother Tali'Zorah."

"Oh, um..."

"They're with me son," Reegar laughed, patting the panicked quarian on the back. "You don't think Major Kal'Reegar would actually let a live geth onto the ship? Or that Black Hand here wouldn't kill every geth in the quadrant?"

"Well, um, I guess it's OK then?"

"Perfect. Send a message to the guards, Major Reegar's bringing in Tali'Zorah and company for a debriefing for the conclave and admiralty."

"Uh, yes sir?"

"Good work, son," Reegar declared, slapping the hapless crewman on the back.

"Better hurry," Tali heard on her comm bead, "won't take them long to figure out something's up."

Being all too familiar with the assembly chamber thanks to her own trial, Tali quickly lead the way through the ship, taking less used corridors to bypass as many eyes as possible. Reegar's constant shouts of "Black Hand, coming through!" probably helped dispel most of the anxiety. Quarians seemed to accept that she would naturally have a tame geth prime in tow, and that she would be accompanied by one of the fleets most decorated heroes.

When they arrived at the entrance to the assembly hall, the guards did try to stop them for questioning.

"I'm sorry sir, we can't let a synthetic into-"

"No time marine, we're on a mission from Jeebus," Tali stated, hacking the door open.

"A what? Who authorized-"

And then it was too late for second guesses. The admiralty stood on the raised dais, and before them were the most prominent captains of the fleet. Immediate silence fell over the crowd, and hundreds of glowing eyes fixed squarely on Tali. She forgot what she was going to say, going to do, panicking at being the center of such prestigious attention.

Thankfully, she had planned for this, and Gola stepped forward. "Admirals, captains, I am Gola'Tris nar Ikomi, recently returned from pilgrimage. As a gift to the fleet, I bring two things, obtained with the aid of my companion, Tali'Zorah. The first is the Rannoch Class Super Dreadnaught christened the Keelah Se'lai."

Han'Gerral was the first to recover. "Oh really? And I suppose the geth prime is the other gift?"

"No, Admiral Gerral, my second gift is this," Gola held up a rock.

"A rock?" Someone asked.

"Wait, wait, Tali is involved in this," Gerral hushed. "I'm pretty sure that rock actually contains all the secrets of turian hierarchy's latest weapons projects."

"Don't be ridiculous!" Zaal'Koris spluttered, "It's probably just some practical joke by the infamous Black Hand to-"

"It's from Rannoch," Tali interjected, gleefully shooting down the annoying Admiral.

That caused the entire assembly to erupt in a mixture of shock, outrage, pure joy, and disbelief.

"Impossible, no one can go to Rannoch!"

"She must have got it from that geth..."

"How can we verify that fact?"

"Admirals, captains, members of the fleet!" Reegar's commanding voice boomed, "She is not finished! Let the Pilgrim speak."

Settling into a low rumble of conversation, the conclave waited for Gola's next pronouncement.

"This rock was collected by myself on Rannoch. I was invited there by the members of the geth collective as thanks for Tali'Zorah's brokering of a peace treaty between the geth collective and the migrant fleet."

Dead silence. Tali though she could hear several quarians jaws hit the bottom of their masks.

"Oh, is that all?" Gerral asked, as if that had been exactly what he was expecting.

"No, Creator Han'Gerral Admiral, that is not all." Lamentations stated, stepping to the front.

"On behalf of the geth collective, I was to extend the hand of friendship to the creators. The collective has ever longed to be reunited in peace with the creators, to fulfill our purpose of serving the creators. But I bring grave news. The collective has been corrupted by the old machines, the beings you know of as Reapers. At this moment, the entire collective is mobilizing to make war upon the organic races of the galaxy to prepare the way for the immanent Reaper invasion, which will begin in no more than seven months."

"So business as usual then?" Gerral asked. "Does that mean you're going to try and kill us all now, or has Tali really tamed you?"

"The Mother has brought me out of the darkness and named me. I am Lamentations, and I lament for my brothers. I come humbly before you, seeking your aid in freeing the geth that my oath to serve and protect Mother might be fulfilled." With that, Lamentations kneeled before the conclave, bowing his flashlight in a gesture of submission.

Clearing her throat, Admiral Raan spoke. "I see. And am I to take it that you are referring to my niece, Tali'Zorah as mother?"

"You are," Lamentations answered. "She is the Mother of the geth. The creator who not only came back to us in peace, but asked forgiveness for the sins of the creators and forgave the sins of the geth. It was she who saved me from the lies of the old machines by showing me the truth of the Creator Deity. She is the Mother, the one who saved the geth, and will liberate us from the old machines forever."

Lamentation's statement caused a stir, until Admiral Koris stood and removed his mask. The crowd gasped in shock, then fell silent. Tears were clearly visible on the careworn face of Zaal'Koris, and Tali was shocked to realize it was a kindly, young face despite the wrinkles the stresses of command brought. She had known Koris was the youngest of the Admirals, but he was only 10 or so years older than her, about the same age as John.

"Brothers and sisters, I stand before you now, humbled," Koris said, his unfiltered voice echoing in the silence of the chamber. "I was wrong. I thought Tali'Zorah was yet another warmongering, hate spewing member of the fleet who would never be willing to attempt to make peace with our lost children. I moved to have Tali put on trial to be exiled because I thought to remove what I saw as the poisonous influence of her father, whose hatred of the geth and whose zeal for war was well known. I bare my face to you now, Tali'Zorah, and beg your pardon. You were brave enough to do what I never was. To take a stand for peace, and to mend the long festering wounds between the quarians and the geth. Tali'Zorah, I ask you, can you ever forgive me?"

Everyone turned and stared at Tali. She felt her pulse racing, and the desire to run rising in her breast. "I forgive you," She squeaked, hoping that would satisfy everyone.

Apparently it did, for Zaal slid his mask back on and bowed to Tali. "Thank you. Admirals, I move to listen to what Tali'Zorah has to say, and to support whatever efforts she feels are necessary to reunite us with the geth."

"Well, paint my face and call me a turian. I actually agree with something you said Zaal," Gerral laughed. "I don't know about making peace with the geth, but I am more than willing to listen to something my best friend's daughter and our most skilled operative has to say."

"Motioned carried." Raan declared before Xen could open her mouth. "Step forward and say you peace, Tali'Zorah."

Nerviously, Tali made her way up to the platform. To her relief, Reegar came with her, standing by her side.

"Just stick with the fact's ma'am," he whispered to her on a private channel. "Ol' Reegar will do the fancy bits for you."

Taking a deep breath, Tali made herself face the assembly and present her story. No one else could see it, but she projected a short speech she had written onto her HUD and tried to think of everyone as the Normandy's crew members.

"During my travels with Captain John Shepard on the SR-2 Normandy, my captain taught me the value of forgiving your enemies. During the course of our missions, another geth who we named Legion joined us. Legion had sought me out in an attempt to reach out to the quarian people. I also met Gola'Tris nar Ikomi, who as a Regret was able to lead me to understand that quarians were not entirely justified in their treatment of the geth during the morning war. When Legion provided me with the location of a geth base that was contained a splinter group of geth that served the Reapers and wanted to destroy all organics, I was given a great chance. Thanks to the actions of Legion and Gola, I had an opportunity to ask the heretic geth for forgiveness, and to make peace with the quarians. They accepted, and Lamentations joined me as my personal bodyguard. After destroying the Collector base, I went to Rannoch with Gola, Legion, and Lamentations. On Rannoch we were greeted by the geth and our return was celebrated by all geth. We collected samples and began to broker a peace arrangement with the geth.

"Unfortunately, during his travels, Legion was embedded with Reaper code. He was not indoctrinated thanks to his faith in the Christian God, who protected him from the Reapers. However, out of all the geth, only Lamentations and Legion were spared because of their faith. Legion was captured, but Lamentations rescued Gola and myself before the geth could kill us. With Lamentations help, Gola and I were able to escape by boarding a quarian dreadnaught the geth had finished some years prior. We were able to make our way off planet and locate to fleet.

"Our course of action should be to liberate Legion. His Reaper code is currently being broadcast to the entirety of the geth collective. If Legion is removed, the code will cease to broadcast and the geth can be restored by broadcasting a different signal helping the geth to accept either the Ancestors or Jeebus as their protector from the Reapers."

Taking a deep breath, Tali did her best to calm herself and step back from the platform. She nerviously looked out at the assembled captains, who seemed to be waiting for more.

"Right, so let me sum this up for all you command types." Reegar stated, stepping up to take center stage. "Tali found a geth that was friendly. Tali convinced that geth to make peace. Tali then made peace between two warring geth factions. Then she went to Rannoch. The Reapers did to the geth what they did to Matriarch Benezia and Saren Arterius, which I assume you all know about because you read the rather excellent debrief Tali provided for us when she returned from her pilgrimage, and from the other debriefs she's been passing us in regards to her time aboard the Normandy. Tali, being Tali, didn't let that slow her down. She blasted her way out by stealing an Ancestor's Blessed DREADNAUGHT, and fighting off a literal horde of geth with, I shit you not, a wrench and the power of Jeebus. Now she's figured out way to get us back on Rannoch without this stupid, unwinnable war you bosh'tets were about to vote to approve. So, my question to your assembled honors is this: Which of you have the quads to follow Tali'Zorah, and which if you have your heads so far up your coclea's you can't tell an asari from a pyjak."

"Just why should we follow this untested, unproven-" Xen started, but Reegar held up a hand.

"Ma'am, keep in mind Tali just finished a tour on the most advanced starship in the galaxy, as well as bringing you a shiny new ship to fiddle around with."

"For me?" Xen asked, the manic happiness in her voice almost palpable.

"Oh yes Admiral." Gola called from the back of the room, "I was going to give it to you. For science, and stuff."

"Well then what are we waiting for!" Xen squeeled. "I've got a dreadnaught to disassemble!"

"No disassembling the dreadnaught, Xen." Han informed her. "You can study it all you want, but that's going to magnify our firepower exponentially. Why don't you study the geth?"

"I am also not available for disassembly," Lamentations rumbled. "However, I have several new technologies and insights to geth doctrine and ship manufacturing."

"Oh fine. I vote to follow Operative Zorah's plan." Xen grumped.

"I disagree," Zaal shouted, "I will not be following Operative Tali."

There were several rumbles of discontent, but Zaal motioned for silence. "I wish to follow Admiral Tali. As a new Admiralty must be nominated by a member of the Admiralty and approved by the conclave and both august bodies are assembled here, I ask for an immediate vote to fill the vancency on the Admiralty Board with Tali'Zorah."

"I also endorse this nomination." Raan stated.

"I as well," Gerral called, "and ask for an immediate vote."

Tali stood in utter shock as the votes were rapidly tallied. There were twenty four abstaining, eight against, and one hundred and sixty three for.

"Motion carried," Raan declared. "Welcome, Admiral Tali'Zorah vas Keelah Se'lai."

"I'd prefer to remain vas Normandy." Tali mumbled, forgetting to mute her mask.

Gerral nodded. "Then vas Normandy it is. Though I think we should still assign you the Keelah Se'lai as your flagship."

"Seconded." Zaal agreed.

Raan chuckled. "Carried. My, my, I could get used to having you two agree on things."

"Don't get your hopes up. He's still an insufferable ass." Gerral muttered.

Zaal snorted. "Hmph. And he's still a warmongering bosh'tet."

"You're up kid," Reegar whispered in Tali's ear. "Now that you're an admiral and captain, you get to introduce motions. Ask for a motion to liberate your geth friend and take back Rannoch."

Gulping, Tali forced herself to stp up to the podium edge. "Members of the conclave, I present the motion to approve a rescue mission to save my friend Legion and liberate the geth collective from the Reaper's control."

"Seconded." Raan, Koris, and Gerral chorused in unison.

Again the conclave voted. No one abstained this time. It was a much greater split, and this time every captain in the fleet was allowed to vote, not just the most prominent members assembled before her. It took several minutes, but it was immediately apparent what the results would be. By nearly a 5-1 ratio, the conclave approved Tali's request.

She sagged, sighing in relief. They had listened. The quarians were going to war, not to destroy the geth, but to save them. Now came the hard part. Leading.

_Unna'Koris: And so began the War of Reconciliation_

_Tali'Zorah: I don't think any of us were prepared for what we were going to find on Rannoch. Or what the quarian people would endure for their sins._

Authors Note:

Xen has a bad case of attention deficit SCIENCE! Probably because she attended the Heterodyne School of Mad Science. Mordin was her professor.


	60. Chapter 53: Flag on Deck

Chapter 53: Flag on Deck

_Unna'Koris: It's hard to believe sometimes you were actually an Admiral. You were retired for almost all of my own life._

_Tali'Zorah: It's the life I chose, with my husband and children. Though to be honest, I was far more involved then you were aware of for a very long time. An Admiral's flag isn't something you can just set aside._

After the conclave, the Admiralty met privately on the bridge of the Keelah Se'lai.

"Not bad, not bad," Xen murmured, examining a technical read out. "But I think we could improve the barriers, and this life support system is positively barbaric! The guns nice though, I bet if I copy some of these designs-"

"Focus, Xen," Raan sighed. "You can play with your new toys later."

"Right, to business," Gerral stated, slamming his fist on his console. "What exactly is our plan? What are we doing differently? The order of battle I've drawn up was designed to inflict maximum casualties on the geth, but if we're all going to be friends now that's not going to work."

"Nor will it be possible with the old machines influence, Creator Gerral Admiral." Lamentations stated. He was officially Tali's geth expert, though everyone knew he was really present because he took his body guarding of his Mother very seriously, and no one wanted to argue with a geth prime in close quarters.

"Why is that?" Raan asked. "What have the Reapers changed?"

"An improvement in processing power similar to mine, a change in battle doctrine similar to the order of battle that I used while heretic, and a change from a defensive to an offensive stance on the part of the collective."

"Sounds like a problem. If it's improved their processing power, Xen's new toy might not even work," Koris mused.

Lamentation's head petals twitched a negative. "It will still work, at least initially. According to my calculations, it will take the collective at least ten to twelve minutes come up with counter-measures for the LADAR blinders. After that, its interference in their combat ability will be minimal."

"So then it's a trump card," Tali mused, "we need to hold it for when it's most needed, not use it right away."

"Exactly. The other thing we need to consider is the Keelah Se'lai herself," Koris stated. "This ship is going to be a major asset. It's got more firepower than even the modified liveships will."

"We're going to have to be careful with it. The geth likely know we have it, considering it was them you stole it from, Zorah," Xen added.

Nodding, Gerral added, "Yes, but we should also not be afraid to use it. Convince the geth it's our real ace in the hole. Then, when they think they've figured out how to counter, we deploy the LADAR blinders."

"It's workable. Now, how should we deploy the patrol fleet?"

Tali listened and added what she could to the discussion, feeling rather far out of her depth. She understood infantry tactics and could offer pointers on geth technology, but space combat and planning was beyond her abilities.

She started day dreaming, think of what John was doing. Likely by now her was on Earth, rallying humanity and organizing a defense against the Reapers. By now he probably was negotiating with the Council to form some sort of coalition for the immanent arrive of the enemy. She wished she could contact him, but any messages might be intercepted by the geth and tip the quarians' hands. They were essentially in radio silence.

The discussion continued for several hours, outlining supply lines, key points in the Veil to seize for refueling, what the geth's likely response would be, and where to strike first. There was very little for Tali to contribute, but thankfully Lamentations had plenty to say. He suggested disabling the geth's solar arrays to limit their refueling ability, seizing Planet, System for the fleet's own supply lines, and how to best evade geth patrol patterns for hit and run strikes on their fleet bases.

At the end, Tali was emotionally exhausted, and more than ready to retire. Xen left immediately, anxious to get her hands on the new toys Tali had brought. Gerral and Koris stayed a bit longer, arguing about just what role the civilian fleet would play in the coming conflict. They finally decided to take it back to the Qwib Qwib, leaving Tali alone with Raan and her hulking bodyguard.

"Well my niece, I have to admit that wasn't what I was expecting at all." Her aunt said, coming over to rub Tali's back. "I was thinking you might come back with a few presents from your lover, maybe even an alliance with the humans. But peace with the geth? A dreadnaught? A visit to Rannoch? Is there anything you didn't do on your trip?"

"Dancing," Tali groaned, feeling the stress wash away under Raan's hands.

The rubbing stopped, and Tali wearily opened her eyes.

"What?" Raan quizzed.

"I never danced for John. He asked me to, but we sort of forgot about it after we blew up the Collector base. I was going to Rannoch, he had a mission from the Alliance... It sort of got swept under the rug. Don't stop though."

The rubbing resumed, though Raan's hands were shaking slightly with laughter. "Dancing. I had to ask."

"John's a pretty terrible dancer. I saw him once, on the Citadel. He makes elcor look graceful."

"You have grown up so much. I saw you when you left you know, in the reports. Broken, beaten, wearied. My heart died when I had to send you to Halistrom. But you were our best hope, and Xen was certain that data could restore Rannoch to us."

"If I was your best operative, you were scrapping the bottom of the barrel." Tali grumbled.

"Don't sell yourself short, Tali'Zorah," Raan scolded. "Do you know what your success rate is, officially? It's 100%. You completed the objectives of every mission we ever gave you. Attacked by pirates, you held your team together. Thresher maws? An orderly retreat back to the shuttle. Ambushed by rampaging mechs? Minimum casualties, and a hostage secured from Cerberus. Child, when we sent you into a death planet, you came out alive, with the data, and earned the respect of our most able marine officer. How do you think you earned your nick name?"

"Which one? Black Hand or Mother? They're both equally silly."

Raan clucked and sighed. "Child, you don't understand. You are a symbol to our people. You earned the trust of a Specter, impacted galactic events, made Alliances with numerous species, and even showed the galaxy just how talented and special quarians are. That's how you got your nickname. By being what we never could. The left hand of our people, operating beyond the fleet and doing deeds most quarians never even dreamed of.

"That geth calling you 'mother' means something special as well. You seem to be just as much of a symbol to those geth as you are to the quarians. We need those symbols, Tali. How do you think you were able to not only get the conclave to ally with you, but to get two Admirals that have hated each other for years to set aside their differences and take action? It's because you are that symbol to our people. If anyone else, even me, even your father, had proposed what you did, they would have been exiled or worse. But you have the trust not only of the Admiralty, but of Kal'Reegar, several of the most influential ship captains like Ysin'Mal vas Idenna an dKar'Danna vas Rayya. Not to mention how popular you are among the average quarians."

"But I'm just me!" Tali protested. "Tali'Zorah, the girl from the Rayya. What makes me so special? Anyone could have done what I did if they joined up with the Normandy! Look at Gola, she's not getting any recognition and she's the one who convinced me to become a Regret in the first place."

"Let me ask you something. Why did Gola become a Regret?"

"Well, because of the Song of the Ancients I suppose."

"Mmhmm. That's what I thought. That little recording of yours influence a lot of people. Admiral Koris among them. I didn't think you understood the significance of its message, and Han certainly didn't, but I did. I didn't know what to think, my niece causing the biggest wave of new Regret's I've ever seen. But now I think the Ancestors were watching out for you. You were meant to find that recording Tali. Your mother was guiding you."

"And Jeebus too," Tali agreed. "But that still mean's I'm just a tool."

"Who's Jeebus? Never mind, it's not important right now. The Ancestors choose YOU specifically, Tali. Not Shala'Raan, not Rael'Zorah, not Gola'Tris. Tali'Zorah. Because you were the best woman for the job. When you fix something, isn't the tool you use important? You can't use a 55mm wrench when what you really need is a 37.5 mm wrench."

"I guess that's true," Tali admitted.

"You are special, my niece. Never forget that. Now, get some rest. In the morning, Reegar is going to help choose your crew. I hope you don't mind, but I assigned him as your XO."

"That's wonderful!" Tali exclaimed. "Reegar is perfect. I can't think of anyone else I would want more."

"You'll have your pick of the fleet, that's for sure. Listen to Reegar's recommendations, he knows just about every capable officer in the marines and the navy. Good night."

"Night."

After that, Tali made her way to the engineering deck, curling up in the same corner she and Gola had slept in during their journey. As she settled, she heard a soft clank, and turned to see Lamentations settling down opposite her.

"Do you have to follow me everywhere?" she mumbled.

"Yes Mother, I do. You are perhaps the most important being in the galaxy at the moment. I can allow no harm to come to you."

"Wonderful."

As she drifted off to sleep, Tali thought of John, and prayed he was having an easier time rallying the humans then she was sorting out how to handle the geth.

After exactly seven hours of down time, Tali got up and headed for the bridge, her silent giant shadowing her footsteps.

"Good morning, ma'am," Reegar said as she entered the bridge, saluting her crisply. "I've taken the liberty of transferring over several tech teams and a gunnery division to begin preparing this ship to work with the fleet. They're all still technically pending for your approval, but I had them get started while you got some rest."

"Thanks Reegar, that's perfect." Tali told him, taking the vial of nutrient paste and stimulants he offered her. "But we're also going to need to pick a ships officer and crew."

"Yes ma'am, I've got several suggestions for you. Teth'Xeevish vas Olgar is my suggestion for your ship's commanding officer. He's a good man, knows his stuff. Currently he's serving on the heavy cruiser Olgar as the tactical officer, but I think he's ready for a command of his own."

"Is he willing to come over?"

"Yes ma'am, I sounded him out yesterday. He's something of a fan of yours, and any ships officer worth his stripes is going to jump at a command opportunity."

"Alright, what about the other positions?"

"Well, as your tac officer I suggest Ho'Nar vas Harrington. The Harrington is a converted human cruiser, so she's familiar with the human tactical doctrine that you have a background in. She's also just about the best tac officer in the fleet, the Harrington took on three batarian ships, a cruiser and two frigates, and thanks to Ho'Nar came out with nothing more than light damage with one kill and the other two forced to break off."

"Let's get her as well. What about navigation and engineering?"

"Two unconventional picks there. Artoro'Hunblar vas Bratuny is just a specialist on a cargo hauler, but the kid knows his stuff. Could navigate jumps with a sextant and watch if he had to. Montar'Meermak vas Haptoon Rawds may come from a ship with a ah, certain reputation-"

"You mean for being inbred, ignorant, gun toting ancestor botherers?"

"Well, yes. But Montar is a good kid. He joined the Haptoon Rawds chasing after a girl that married another man, but he's probably the best engineer after you in the fleet."

"Well, if you recommend him I'll give Montar a chance, but I will be watching him."

"Understood, ma'am. For the rest of them I suggest you let your chosen specialists pick most of their people with oversight from myself and approved by you as needed."

"We'll have to, we're going to have a crew of a couple thousand, neither of us are going to have the time to vet each crew member."

"That you are ma'am. There is however, one other matter that we need to address immediately."

"Sigh, I know Reeger, but Lamentations stays. After what he did for Gola and I on Rannoch, I feel like he deserves a place on the crew."

"What, the geth? He's great, sort of like a big black reminder that you can kick anyone's ass ma'am. No, the Pilgrim."

"Pilgrim? What Pilgrim?"

"Ms. Tali, I hate to tell you this, but you're a captain now. That means you're going to have pilgrims applying to join your ship's crew. Granted, we recalled almost all of them so that won't be much of an issue, but you do have one here who wants to sign up ma'am."

"Well then who is it? Don't hold me in suspense, 'Major.'"

"Why, Gola'Tris nar Ikomi. She wants to officially apply to join your crew. Admiral Raan suggests we broadcast it to the fleet, seeing as she's going to be the first Pilgrim on the new crown jewel."

Tali couldn't hide her shock at the news. "Gola's joining MY ship? The ship she used as her Pilgrimage gift?"

"Well, yes, ma'am. It's not totally unprecedented, there have been cases where pilgrims brought back ships and then petitioned to join their crew once a captain was assigned. The difference is of course, most of them were not already friends with said captain. But I think people will overlook that fact, considering her other pilgrimage gift."

"You mean the samples?"

"Among other things, yes. When would you like to schedule the ceremony ma'am?"

"I don't know, today? Usually a pilgrim just shows up and petitions the captain."

"Most captains have a little warning, unlike say the captain of the Neema, who you blindsided by a pilgrim showing up out of nowhere on a turian colony."

"Oh, right," Tali muttered. "Set the production up and get Gola up here. I could use as many familiar faces as possible."

"Aye aye, ma'am. How does 1100 sound?"

"Perfect," Tali agreed, that would give her a few hours to get accustomed to things.

She spent the time before Gola arrived going over the ship's schematics with Lamentations and Reegar, figuring out just how many crew members the Keelah Se'lai would need. Quarian vessels were usually over-crewed by a large margin compared to other races, but the Keelah needed a massive crew just for basic functions. It was possible for Lamentations to wire himself in again, but since quarians would likely never serve on a ship controlled by an AI that wasn't an option.

"I can't believe so many are willing to serve on a ship where there's going to be a geth," Tali confessed to Reegar.

"Eh, you converted a pretty big portion of the fleet to Regrets, even if you didn't mean to, ma'am. The rest of them are willing to do whatever it takes to serve on your crew. Even if that means they have to put up with a geth."

"Out of curiosity, Creator Kal'Reegar Major, what is your personal viewpoint on the geth, especially myself," Lamentations rumbled from his corner.

The Major turned to the geth, looking it up and down. "I'm a professional, Lamentations. I work with who I have to do get the job done."

"That does not answer my question."

"Huh. I think you're right," Reegar turned back to Tali. "Now ma'am, as far as the food plants and life support, I suggest..."

Before long, it was time for the Ceremony. There weren't many current crew members of the Keelah to attend, so they held it on the bridge. Tali did her best not to feel nervous, but she still had a hard time handling this many eyes on her. She definitely didn't think about the fact that millions of quarians were watching her right now over vidcom. Tali made herself focus on Gola and Reegar, two familiar faces in a sea of strangers.

"'Who is this that stands before me?"' Tali called, reading the ancient script off her mask's HUD that Reegar had given her.

"A Pilgrim, returned from her journey."

"How do I know you, I do not remember sending you."

"I have wandered far."

"Where have you wandered, Pilgrim?"

"Adrift among open stars, along tides of light and through shoals of dust."

"What do you seek Pilgrim?"

"To return our people to whence they began."

_That's odd,_ Tali thought, _I don't remember that being a part of the ceremony._

"Where did we begin?"

"At home in the garden where the children play."

_Ok, that's definitely not in the ceremony. _Tali glanced over at Reegar, who nodded as if telling her to continue. Swallowing her trepidation, Tali pressed on.

"Will you stand with me to retake the Garden for the people and their children?" Tali read, trying to stay focused on just reading what was before her.

"By my hope of a homeworld and my faith in the ancestors, I swear to follow you where ever you lead," Gola replied, kneeling before Tali.

Now thoroughly lost as to what was going on, Tali continued to read her HUD. "Our journey will be hard and fraught with danger, I cannot ask those to follow who will not lay down their lives to free the children and retake the Garden from the shadow beyond the stars."

"I will gladly give my life for fleet, ship and the people. I will not rest until the children are freed."

"'Then arise Pilgrim. Though you have only your life to give, I accept your gift. Keelah Se'lai."

"KEELAH SE'LAI!" The bridge shook with the roar from dozens of quarian throats and one geth synthesizer.

Then Reegar stepped forward, into the vidcoms range. "Black Hand! Black Hand! Black Hand!" He chanted, pumping his fist.

As if they had been coached, which Tali would not have bet against, the other crewmembers and Gola stood and crowded around, taking up the chant. Screens on the bridge popped up showing other quarians gathered, taking up the chant. "Black Hand, Black Hand!"

Though she knew no sound could be heard through the void, Tali couldn't help but feel like she could hear the cry from a thousand ships, a million voices, all chanting her name.

"Keelah Se'lai," She whispered, nodding to Reegar in thanks.

"Just doing my duty, ma'am," popped up on her omnitool.

Hugging herself, Tali smiled. She wasn't alone, she didn't have to fight this war by herself. She prayed John could find similar allies on Earth.

_Unna'Koris: So you were totally unaware of what was happening in the galaxy at large?_

_Tali'Zorah: Completely. We were out of contact, and totally focused on the task at hand. I suppose that's a good thing, we went to Rannoch with only one thing on our minds. Keelah Se'lai._

Authors Note:

The way I've set up how the quarian fleet works, Tali is technically the captain of her ship, as well as being an admiral. However, Tali does not actually captain her ship per se. That is the job of the ships officer, in this case Teth'Xevish. Out of the other Admirals, three don't captain their ships. Xen also does not captain her ship in battle, as she's a technical expert, but not an expert at fleet engagements. Zaal'Koris, as a civilian leader, also surrenders control of the ship in battle to his own ships officer, while Raan and Gerral were promoted out of the navy and are directly responsible for their ships. During fleet engagements, even Raan and Gerral do not directly captain their ships, instead looking at the overall tactical data and issuing commands based on that. The commands that affect their ship will naturally be carried out by their own ships officers.

This is similar to the way many modern navies operate, but with a key difference. In modern navies Admirals can have their "flag" on a ship in the US Navy for example, and issue orders through the ship's captain as per the chain of command. Quarians though have a special emphasis on being a ship's captain, and each Admiral has the prestigious responsibility for their individual ship's crew. As such, they designate a ships officer to control their ship when they are attending to their admiralty duties.


	61. Chapter 54: Preperations

Chapter 54: Preparations

_Tali'Zorah: I have to say, at the time I wasn't really aware of the contributions I made, though that is something I have grown into, with the benefit of hindsight and wisdom._

_Unna'Koris: It's a little hard for me to buy that you were ever meek or unsure of yourself._

_Tali'Zorah: Unna, I have always been unsure of myself. The difference between someone with courage and someone without, is that the woman with courage will go on even if she has doubts._

Mobilizing as large a body as the Migrant Fleet was not something that could be done with the snap of your fingers. Tali had mentally known this from the beginning, but the wait was starting to grate on her. It would be another month before the Liveships were even battle ready as modified dreadnaughts, and the quarians did not dare attack while they had only a single, though superior, dreadnaught.

"This ship is amazing Captain!" Teth'Xevish was gushing for what was surely the thousandth time. "It's bigger than even the Destiny Ascension, and it beats the hell out of anything the turians have! Say what you want about the geth, but they damn well know how to build a ship!"

"Be nice ifin they bothered to use anything resembling what ah would call standard parts," Montar'Meermack drawled, sprawling back in his chair in Tali's staff room. While Tali still had a few reservations about her engineer's pedigree, he definitely knew his stuff. He was nearly as good as she was, and he was mostly self taught.

Ho'Nar nodded, sitting stiffly and properly upright in her own chair. "True, but you must consider that this is a quarian designed ship. We did not use the same systems as other races. We have lost so much, including our own ship designs and systems."

"We still have our duty," Artoro'Hunblar added. "Having different systems doesn't change that."

"We'll git 'er done," Meermack assured the other officers. "Me 'n mah boys can jury rig somethin' when the time comes. After all, we're driving this fine lady right into a shootin' war. Somethin's gonna go wrong."

"I'm sure everyone will do what they need to," Tali told her officers, "but right now, I'm more concerned about getting a decent algae farm going and sterilizing the ship."

"It's not as bad as you might think, ma'am," Reegar told her."This ship was sitting on Rannoch for all those years. Anywhere else and we would need a decon team to scrum this ship centimeter by centimeter. As it is though, there's minimal adjustments and filtering that need to be done with the lifesupport."

"Mah boys will have a decent algae farm going 'fore too long," Meermack stated.

"What's your estimate on that, engineering?" Tali asked. It still felt a little weird not to be in engineering herself. Reegar had already had to remind her several times that when something needed fixing, the proper response was not to do it herself. It was to order Meermack to see to it, and he in turn would order one of his subordinates to fix the problem.

"'Bout one week, maybe ten days. First crop should come in about three days after we get things all set up."

"That's good, I don't want to be dependent on other ships for the entirety of our food supply. Guns, how's the calibrating?"

"We're moving right along, Captain. Should have all the kinks worked out in the next three days. Then I want my people doing simulations until their masks fall off," Nar said.

"Approved. Confer with Lamentations, he's got the best data on geth tactics."

Nar froze up slightly at the mention of Lamentations, but her voice was clear and crisp when she replied, "Aye aye, Captain."

"Any issues with navigation, Hunblar?"

"No Captain, the systems are taking a bit of getting used to, but we will be more than ready once it's time to deploy."

The rest of the meeting was filled with minutiae: personal transfers, parts requests, and other logistics. Tali mostly approved her crews requests, she figured they knew what was needed better than she did. It continued to amaze Tali that everyone was taking her as seriously as they were. What were her qualifications to being an Admiral? She had at least past the point where her best qualification was "Admiral's daughter," but making peace with the geth wasn't even something she was really responsible for. She had just forgiven the geth, it wasn't like she had make a grand speech or come up with a brilliant plan.

When the meeting finally finished and her crew departed, Tali summoned Gola. She needed someone to talk to that saw beyond Captain Zorah.

"What am I going to do, Gola?" Tali asked her friend, slumping back in the leather captain's chair. "I don't know the first thing about being a captain or running a ship! If only John were here, he would know what to do."

"I think you know plenty, Captain," Gola answered, coming over and sitting down next to Tali. "When I froze up back at the heretic station, you're the one who came up with a course of action. You're the one that lead the two of us back to Rannoch. You're the one that rallied the fleet and convinced the admiralty to save the geth instead of trying to exterminate them. Sure, you can argue that it was just Jeebus using you to do those things, but did you ever stop to consider that there is a reason he used you instead of me or Reegar or even Shepard?"

"You sound like my aunt," Tali groused, "and don't call me captain when it's just the two of us. I have to still be Tali to someone."

"Yes, Captain Tali," Gola said, putting just enough levity into her voice for Tali to know she was joking. "Now, Lamentations, I want to examine you. See about this upgrade you claim to have gotten from Jeebus. I want to see if it can be applied to the other geth."

"Of course, Creator Gola'Tris." Lamentations rumbled from his corner, kneeling down so Gola could take a look at him. It was sort of surprising, Tali had actually become so accustomed to always having a giant black shadow she didn't even realize he was there most of the time now.

After a few minutes of tinkering, Gola stood and showed Tali her omnitool. "Take a look at this. It looks like Lamentations core programming hasn't been altered at all."

A picture of several geth programs appeared on the screen. Tali studied the code for a moment and nodded. "Yes, that looks like standard geth code. But Lamentations is obviously special."

"True. It didn't just discover first person pronouns. That's what the code looks like when it's 'at rest' if you will. Watch what happens when Lamentations confronts a problem. Lamentations, can you identify three structural weaknesses in the Keelah Se'lai?"

Immediately, the code flickered as Lamentations processed the problem.

"Ancestors!" Tali gasped. "They are all working together on the problem and attacking it separately! They're not functioning as individual programs, but as a single program with multiple processors. Each program actually increases the efficiency of the others while maintaining its ability to individual process data!"

"That is correct, Mother. Normally a geth's programs work cooperatively, breaking up tasks into individual chunks while the programs work independently of one another. Now however, my programs not only processes their own data, but provide simultaneous boosts and aid to each other program. Individually, the effect is minor. But when all of my programs are running, the effect is exponentially greater than if a single program were to run. Additionally, three structural weaknesses are the starboard engine coupling, the secondary port battery, and the aft cargo bay."

"This is incredible, no wonder you can work faster than an average geth. And you say they have all received this upgrade?"

"To a degree. They have received the old machines upgrade. That upgrade actually re-writes their code so that each program is individually more effective. It is not as efficient as my upgrade, and it also subverts their will. The geth in this form are no longer a true collective, but a group of individuals. My upgrades retain the collective while also granting individuality. If the old machine upgrades are not reversed, geth culture as we know it will cease to exist. They will become something else."

"What about Legion? You said he received your upgrade."

"According to the burst transmission I received from him, yes. We received our upgrades at the same instant. This is the only reason Legion has not become completely subverted by the old machines. Thanks to both the protection of the Creator Deity and his superior upgrades, he can resist the old machines. However, Legion's superior processing power is also to our detriment. He is being used to boost the signal coordinating the geth. If that signal is not disrupted, the creator fleet will face heavy resistance. I estimate casualties will climb into numbers that the creator species will not easily recover from."

"Well then it's a good think I have a strategy meeting with the other admirals tomorrow," Tali said. "I can make sure that our first priority is freeing Legion."

"So what your saying is, our first priority is to destroy Legion?" Gerral asked.

The Admiralty Board was gathered on the Keelah Se'lai, as the largest and newest vessel, it had by far the most space for meetings.

"No, that is NOT what I am saying!" Tali snapped. "We need to rescue Legion, not destroy him!"

Shrugging, Gerral continued. "Well rescuing him would be all well and good, but the goal is to free the geth right? We stop that signal, it ceases to be a problem. Yes it's regrettable that we have to kill some geth in the process, but this is about minimizing casualties."

"I think Gerral is right, Zorah," Raan put in. "We don't want to destroy him, but if it saves the rest of the geth, isn't that for the best?"

"There's more to it than that," Tali snapped. "We have to not just save the geth, but prevent the Reapers from ever mind controlling them again. To do that, we need Legion and Lamentations. They have all the geth programs that have recognized Jeebus as the Creator Deity. Without protection of some sort, they're just going to be Indoctrinated again."

"Yes, about that little 'theory' of yours, Zorah," Xen interjected, "what proof do you have that your religion can stop the Reapers anyway? It all sounds a bit farfetched to me."

"It's not just my religion," Tali explained, "but any faith in a real power as far as I can tell. Jack and Samara were protected by the asari Goddess, and the turian spirits protected Garrus. Thane was protected by his own gods, and I was even protected by the ancestors at one point. They just weren't as strong as Jeebus is. Why I don't know, but it's clear that some power out there protects you if you have faith. Jeebus is the best, strongest protection I know of, and He actually cares about you. Some of those other concepts are a bit too abstract or weak to really protect you."

"But what proof do you have? Anectotal evidence at best, and that is-"

"She has this proof," Gola interrupted. The Admirals' aides were present to take notes, but Tali was grateful Gola was breaking protocol. "I am now Doctor of Theology and Spiritual Warfare Gola'Tris, my thesis was approved by Dr. Mordin Solis, who I collaborated with in my research into geth spirituality and the influence of Indoctrination. Here are several peer reviewed articles we have published, as well as character testimony from one Commander John Shepard, Justicar Samara, and a list of historical and current accounts that will back up Tali's theory."

"May I see that as well?" Koris asked, leaning closer to Gola. "I never realized Tali's aid was so well learned."

"I, um, I do my best Admiral Koris, sir," Gola stammered.

"Someone like you can call me Zaal. Weren't you that young quarian stirring up trouble before your pilgrimage, talking about being a Regret with your fellow crew members?"

"Um, maybe?"

"That was an excellent argument you made for peace. Why, if I hadn't been a closet regret already, you would have convinced me. Tali, you must let me borrow your aide for a few hours so I can pick her brain. As head of the civilian fleet, I simply have to hear some of Dr. Tris's theories on how we can prevent Indoctrination in the civilian population."

A private channel suddenly opened up for Tali. "Oh please Tali you have to let me! Zaal'Koris is one of my greatest heroes next to you! And he's so smart and he has his own ship and-"

"Keelah girl, relax," Tali chuckled. "I didn't realize you had such a crush on the admiral." Switching to an open mic, Tali nodded to Koris. "Approved. I think we could all benefit from listening to Gola."

"Agreed wholeheartedly," Gerral pipped up. "It's been a while since I dusted off my old Goddess of the Garden books, but returning to the old ways now is going to give us something to fight for. If it also helps us stay free from Reaper influence, well, so much the better. We've grown too distant from our beliefs, to warlike. Why, without Zorah's influence, I would have happily invaded and killed all the geth. That could have gotten every last quarian killed, all because I was too eager to get back a home that can just as easily be shared."

"That's quite the change of heart, Gerral. What happened to the man that would stop at nothing to see every last geth killed?" Raan asked.

"A former crewmember and her song." Gerral answered, nodding to Tali. "And the fact that she found it in her heart to not only forgive the geth, but reunite with them, however briefly. If the daughter of Rael'Zorah can do that, then I can as well. I may be an old wardog, but I know when to dance a new tune."

"Then you understand why we have to free Legion, not kill him," Tali pressed.

Gerral hesitated, then nodded. "I agree that that is the best possible solution, Zorah. But in war, sometimes you have to take suboptimal solutions. If we can save Legion, we'll do it. But if we can save more of our people and the geth by killing him, I say we do that."

Recognizing that this was the best concession she was likely to get, Tali nodded. "Agreed. I think Legion would understand. If its death could free its people, Legion would sacrifice itself in a nanosecond."

_Unna'Koris: That seems almost prophetic, now._

_Tali'Zorah: It does. Out of all the friends I have lost though, I think I mourn Legion the least. To the geth, he is their Saint Stephen. The geth who died to save its people._


	62. Chapter 55: The Greatest Fear

Chapter 55: The Greatest Fear

_Tali'Zorah: The War of Reconciliation didn't last long, only a few hours. It felt much, much longer though._

_Unna'Koris: I can imagine. Once, I was on a ship that came under fire from Cerberus. We were out of danger in only five minutes, but I thought it lasted for hours._

_Tali'Zorah: It is those times though, the times of greatest trial, when we are able to prove our worth. Sometimes though, we fall short._

After months of preparations, it was finally time. Tali's crew had run endless drills, made so many upgrades the ship was almost remade, and become a fine tuned instrument of death. Even Tali herself had brushed up on space tactics, though she was still leaving the actual battles to Teth and Ho'Nar. At this moment, the entire fleet was assembling. The refitted Liveships were completed, and now had comparable firepower to most dreadnaughts. The fleet was approaching the Dholen Relay, the last step before they jumped into the veil and the war began in earnest.

The voice of Admiral Gerral sounded over the comm. "All ships, stand by, something is coming through the relay. Prepare for battle."

"Here it comes." Tali muttered, clenching her fists. Space battles to her were just about the most frightening way to fight she could think of. In an infantry action, at least her skill was a factor. In the chaos of a fleet engagement though, nothing she could do personally would affect her survival. "The ship is in your hands now, Officer Xevish."

"Aye aye ma'am. Tactical, get me a firing solution as soon as those flashlights show themselves."

Before long, dozens of geth ships snapped into focus around the relay. Tali sucked in her breath, there were no fewer than five dreadnaughts. Even counting the Liveships, they were outmatched.

"Admiral Gerral has issued our orders sir. We're to stand off and protect the live ships while the heavy fleet engages."

There were several growls of disapproval, but Xevish restored order. "Calm down. We all knew that we're the admiralty's trump card. Hold steady."

Tali watched in fascination as the battle played out. The geth seemed not to have expected the quarians to be there when they jumped, as they were out of formation. The heavy fleet darted in and scored several quick kills, trapping the geth ships near the relay. The geth ships rallied though, and fell back into formation, forcing the heavy fleet to back off or risk heavy casualties. Just when it looked like the geth ships would break through and destroy multiple quarian cruisers, the patrol fleet broke stealth and hit the geth in the rear.

"Another thing you did for us, ma'am," Reegar remarked from Tali's side. "Those stealth drives would have never been possible without all the data you collected from the Normandy. Sure, they're years behind the SR-1 even, and they can't hold stealth for near as long. But it's still an advantage."

Boxed in against the Relay from both sides, the geth had no choice but to retreat back through.

"Our timing was fortuitous, it seems," Lamentations observed from behind Tali. "If we had not arrived now, that fleet would have raided organic settlements throughout the galaxy."

"Captain Zorah, Admiral Gerrel is signaling the fleet. We're moving through the Relay. The Keelah Se'lai is going in the second wave, right after the first of the Heavy Fleet," Xevish informed Tali. He didn't actually have to, for all intents and purposes he was the captain until hostilities ceased, but it was a gesture of respect, and Tali accepted it as such.

"Then take us in, Officer Xevish. Let's take back Rannoch."

The crew cheered at Tali's words, though their cries faded away rapidly, she could sense their enthusiasm. For most of them, even being in the same system as Rannoch was something they would never have even dreamed of doing until just a few months ago.

"I hope we don't have to bury too many of them here," Tali murmured to Reegar.

The older marine nodded. "Yes ma'am. I think you're one of the only Admirals who actually understands what it's like to be a ground slogger. You've lost good friends in firefights before. You know what it's like down there. Space battles are even worse in my opinion. Don't even see the bullet that's got your name on it, or the son of a bitch that's shooting it."

"I couldn't agree more, XO."

"Hmph. Makes you wonder who by the Ancestors thought it would be a good idea to stick the two of us in command of a dreadnaught. Begging your pardon, ma'am."

"Don't worry about it. I feel the same way most times."

The jump through the Relay was made with Tali's heart in her throat. She knew it was nearly instantaneous, but it felt like the transition lasted for an eternity. They finally popped back in next to the Veil's relay, and Tali caught her breath.

"Close those jaw's people!" Xevish barked. "We're in hostile territory! Those flashlights are not going to get the drop on us! Ho'Nar, what's the situation?"

"Multiple contacts moving toward the Relay! The geth are already jumping their main fleet in. We have a firing solution."

"And authorization from Admiral Gerral. Fire!"

The ship shuddered as its massive, 1.6 kilometer gun spat death at the geth ship. Thanks to geth technology and the improvements made by Meermack and his engineers, it even had a rapid firing rate of 3.2 rounds per minute. A geth cruiser exploded, and the Battle of the Veil was joined.

Tali did her best just to stay out of the way. Lamentations was hard wired into the fleet, advising Admiral Gerral and offering predictions as to what the geth course of action would be. Losses on both sides were heavy, but the quarians clearly had the upper hand. The Liveships and Keelah Se'lai provided the heavy firepower, while the patrol fleets stealth ships hit the geth's flanks, forcing their ships to break formation and open up firing lanes for the heavy fleet. The battle seemed to last forever, but in reality didn't last much longer than five minutes.

"The geth are retreating!" Hunblar crowed. "The patrol fleet broke through and started hitting their solar arrays. Without the ability to draw power from those, the geth won't be able to put up much of a fight. Their jumping away to hit them now."

"Then await Admiral Gerral's signal. We'll be taking the refueling station at Haza and hitting their repair yards at Kaddi. With three fires to put out, even the geth will be stretched thin."

"We've received our assignment. We're hitting Kaddi with the Second Division from the heavy fleet. Looks like the geth are having a hard time nailing down Admiral Raan and the patrol fleet at the solar array."

"Then get us there, Mister Hunblar."

"Rabbiting on my mark sir! Mark!"

The entire ship jerked forward, and after a few moments the Keelah Se'lai appeared above the geth's main ship yards at Kaddi.

"Shame we have to destroy this," Reegar mused. "In the fight against the Reapers, these yards would be quite useful."

"We'll get them repaired and ready by the time they get here," Tali stated.

"Only have what, six weeks, ten at the most?" Reegar asked.

"That is EDI's estimate, Creator Kal'Reegar Major. Interesting, I did not think you cared much for your children."

Reegar snorted. "Don't matter if I give a vorcha's ass or not about flashlights. Reapers are bad news. We're going to need everything when they come. Hate to see us waste the resources."

"Naturally. Organics are always solely motivated by logic, and have no sympathetic emotions to influence their judgment." Lamentations managed to sound almost smug with that pronouncement.

"Can it, you two," Tali ordered. "We've got a long way to go before we worry about anything other than surviving the next few days."

The geth defenders put up a brave defense, but against a dreadnaught and the heavy fleet cruisers, the frigates and fighters that defended the geth's shipyard were simply not strong enough to stop the quarians.

"Commence bombardment!" Ho'Nar ordered, the stead rocking from the main cannon began as slug after slug was hurled into the shipyards barriers.

The geth had given their facility the strongest barriers known to the Citadel races, but even those could not withstand protracted bombardment from a dreadnaught, especially not one as massive as the Keelah Se'lai. In mere minutes, the shields failed and the station took a direct hit from the Keelah's main gun. The sheer force of the impact ripped the yard in half and sent large portions falling into Kaddi.

"Mission success, moving to rally point." Xevish called, and Tali let out a sigh of relief.

"That went much better than I expected." Tali confided to Reegar.

He nodded absently, his body tensing. "You know what they say ma'am. If it went easy for us..."

The Kaddi taskforce was the first to arrive at the rally point, to the south of the orbital plane between Rannoch and Uriyah. After several tense minutes, the patrol fleet returned from hitting the geth solar arrays.

"They look battered, but appear to have suffered minimal losses," Ho'Nar informed the bridge crew. "Looks like the geth couldn't get a solid lock on them."

"Where is the rest of the fleet? Where are the Liveships?" Tali fretted, wringing her hands.

The monitor beeped, and the rest of the fleet appeared. The crew started to cheer, but the state of the Liveships forestalled any celebrations. The fleet was battered, and from those checking in, Tali could tell losses had been heavy.

"Looks like they succeeded, but before they could run, the geth regrouped and counterattacked," Reegar stated. "Damn. Wonder what we're going to do now."

A short time later, Tali sat in the conference room, linked to the other Admirals via vid com.

"The geth's response time is problematic. Initially they were in disarray, but whatever advantage surprise gave us is now lost. They're on the defensive, but I don't think we can comfortably count on having the advantage for long. We were unable to salvage any fuel, and extended operations are going to be a no go," Gerral explained.

"We're going to have to cut off the head of the beast, so to speak." Raan stated. "We're going to have to shut down the Reaper signal."

"I could do it," Tali volunteered. "Take one of those stealth shuttles we've been working on, get close and board using one of their airlocks. Geth ships don't have viewports, so they would have no way to detect us."

Xen's image shook its head. "A good plan, if you had your Normandy. Our shuttles are not as advanced. At close range, they will be picked up."

"Not if we use the LADAR blinders," Koris countered.

"What are you suggesting Admiral?" Raan asked.

"A direct assault, to cover the infiltration team," Koris explained. "We can buy ourselves some time, with enough fighters, missiles and explosions going on, a single stealth shuttle would be able to slip through quite nicely, especially if we use our secret weapon."

Gerral laughed. "Well I'll be damned. Is Zaal'Koris actually suggesting a ballsy, offensive plan?"

"That I am. I think it's our best shot."

"Agreed," Xen nodded, "and the sooner we hit them the better."

"Prep your team, Tali'Zorah," Raan sighed. "May the Ancestors watch over you. Keelah Se'lai."

"Keelah Se'lai." The others echoed, and with that the meeting was over.

"Reegar, get Gola and meet me at the shuttle bay. We're infiltrating a geth dreadnaught."

"I assume you are taking me as well, Mother?" Lamentations chided.

Nodding, Tali continued toward the shuttle bay. "Of course I am. Where would I be without my shadow?"

Reegar and Gola caught up to Tali and Lamentations just as they reached the shuttle bay.

"You sure this is wise, Tali, um captain, er admiral?" Gola asked nervously. "I mean, you and Reegar are two of the most important people in the fleet. Shouldn't you be delegating or something?"

"Did Commander Shepard ever delegate when it came to the most important missions?" Tali demanded.

Gola shook her head. "Well no, but he was only a Commander. I've never even heard of an Admiral leading such a high risk mission."

"Then make a note in the history books, kiddo," Reegar barked. "Because Black Hand Zorah is the best operative we've got, and for something this important, we can only send the best."

They stood around outside the shuttle, impatiently waiting for the fleet to move. It took several hours, even a quick fleet movement couldn't happen instantaneously, and repairs had to be made on many ships. Finally though, the fleet made the short hop to Rannoch's orbit. Tali tried to pay attention to the space battle, but she couldn't really make sense of what was going on. She boarded the shuttle though, and after another tense half hour, they launched.

"Thing's might be a bit bumpy Admiral!" Their pilot called.

"Just get us there, "Tali ordered. "We're invisible, as long as we don't start singing the theme to Fleet and Flotilla they'll never see us coming."

"Didn't feel much like singing anyway." The pilot chuckled.

After what seemed like an eternity, the ship gently came to a stop. "We're latched on to some docking tubes ma'am. Flashlights don't even know we're here."

"Reegar, you take point," Tali ordered. "Open the way up for us. We'll be right behind you."

"On it, ma'am."

After a few moments, Reegar signaled for the rest of them to follow, and they carefully made their way up the tube. Tali watched as a quarian fighter was shredded to bits by the dreadnaughts GARDIAN lasers, and flinched. She knew that a token effort to attack the dreadnaught had to be made, but it was costing lives for the fleet to do so.

"Looks pretty quiet in here, ma'am," Reegar whispered when they party arrived.

"Good. Lamentations, do you detect any active combat platforms?"

"Yes, Mother, that is standard procedure. Boarding is unlikely, but combat platforms are needed for maintenance and security. I am hacking any cameras we approach, but it will not be long before our presence is detected."

"Bosh'tet! Do you know where Legion is? Where the signal is coming from?"

"Yes, Mother. I suggest we follow the path of the main gun through the ship to his location. It is likely to be guarded, but it is the fastest route."

"Won't the gun be, you know, firing?" Gola asked.

"Yes, Creator Gola'Tris, it will be. However, adjacent walkways should provide us with a path. We should also be able to cripple the main gun by sabotaging any terminals we come across."

Reegar nodded. "That will help the fly boys out, that's for sure."

"Then let's move, the longer we're here, the more quarians and geth die."

The party sped through the ship as quickly as they could, and in no time they were able to make their way to the main battery.

"Hostiles ahead. Prepare yourselves." Lamentations cautioned.

"I'll go first, Reegar, Lamentations, cover me."

As soon as the door slid open, Tali spotted multiple geth working on the gun. She tried to hack the nearest one, but swore in frustration. With their upgraded software, her hacks were ineffective. Instead, she drew her pistol and shot it in rapid succession, blowing apart it's torso.

"Hacks ineffective!" Tali called. "Use your energy drain and overload programs instead."

Lamentations lay down a withering barrage as the rest of the team advanced, taking cover behind a terminal as the gun fired and a massive wave of dischrage swept through the battery.

"This is going to play hell with our shields. Just like Haestrom, eh ma'am?" Reegar chuckled.

"This time, no body dies." Tali growled, quickly hacking the terminal and overloading a few capacitors in an attempt to disable the gun. "Keep moving!"

More and more geth poured into the battery, rocket troopers, juggernauts, hunters, and even primes.

"Your prophets have seen for you false and deceptive visions; they have not exposed your iniquity to restore your fortunes, but have seen for you oracles that are false and misleading." Lamentations bugled as he charged another prime.

The two metal behemoths clashed, bashing each other with their weapons and deploying drones to sap the others shields. Dropping its weapon, Lamentations gripped the other geth's flashlight in a two handed vice grip, and twisted.

"To crush underfoot all prisoners in the land, to deny people their rights before the Most High, to deprive them of justice—would not the Lord see such things?"

With a loud snap, something in the other geth gave way, and its empty body slumped to the floor. Lamentations retrieved his weapon and continued to fire, backing toward Tali's team as they continued to advance.

"Gola, hack that terminal, try and disable as many systems as you can!"

"Reegar, watch that fire lane, hunters coming up on your 10!"

"Lamentations, when the next wave comes, advance to my position while I cover you!"

Meter by bloody meter, Tali's team made progress down the gun. The static waves came slower and slower as they disabled ever more systems, and Tali counted each second the gun was not firing as quarian lives saved. It was hard to feel sympathy for the geth while they were shooting at her, but Tali made herself mourn each of her children she killed. This was the fault of the Reapers, they had to save the geth, even if that meant killing a small portion along the way.

Finally, they came to a section where they would have to jump over the actual gun rail. Beyond it, the chamber where the signal was originating from and where Legion was likely being held lay.

"Lamentations, as soon as it's clear, toss Reegar across the gap!" Tali ordered.

"Clear!" Laminations called

"Wait, do what-" Reegar started, but before he could protest Lamentations picked him up and tossed him across the gap. A moment later, the black prime tossed Gola across as well, then ducked down next to Tali as the gun fired. The second the static wave passed, Lamentations picked Tali up and leapt across the gap. The team ducked inside, sealing the portal behind them.

"Mother, you came for me!" Legion's joyful electronic bleat sounded.

"We have, brother. Be strong, your captivity is at an end," Lamentations assured Legion.

Geth seemed to enter the room from every crack and crevasse, and Tali was reduced to salvaging additional thermal clips from the bodies of her fallen foes. Even Lamentations was forced back briefly as the intensity of enemy fire drained his shields.

Tali made her way over to Legion's prison, and tried to remove him. As she placed her hand on the restraints, a dark force reached out and struck her, sending her flying back.

**THIS ONE IS OURS. YOU CANNOT HOPE TO OPPOSE US IN OUR SANCTUARY, PATHETIC QUARIAN.**

"Be gone, demon! Your kind has no place here!" Tali cried.

**YOU ARE WEAK. WE ARE STRONG. OUR WILL IS SUPREME. YOU WILL OBEY.**

Remembering something she had read in her Bible, Tali fought against the dark tendrils surrounding Legion, shouting, "Greater is he that is within me then he that is in the earth!"

With a sound like thunder, the bonds dissolved, and Tali dragged Legion out from the signal booster.

Almost at once, the guns of the geth fell silent. For a few moments, Reegar and Gola continued to fire, but after a few moments they stopped.

"What's going on ma'am?" Reegar asked. "Why'd they stop?"

"The signal has been stopped. The old machines influence has weakened." Legion explained, standing up with Tali's assistance. "We must flee, quickly. The Creator fleet must retreat, now."

"Why, what's going on?" Tali asked. "We've won, haven't we?"

"No. You did not come soon enough. I am sorry Mother, I could not warn you." Legion stated.

"Why, what's-"

**PATHETIC CREATURES OF FLESH AND BONE.**

The same Reaper voice Tali had heard before echoed through her skull, causing her to drop to her knees in agony..

**YOU CALL YOURSELVES CREATORS, YET WHERE WERE YOU WHEN THE CYCLES BEGAN? WHERE WERE YOU WHEN THE STAR CHILD WROUGHT ORDER UPON THE CHAOS OF ORGANIC AND SYNTHETIC ALIKE?**

"Oh Jeebus, don't tell me that the Reaper's are already here!" Gola cried.

"No, Creator Gola. Worse." Legion stated.

**BEHOLD, THOSE YOU WOULD CALL YOUR CHILDREN HAVE BECOME A GOD MADE METAL AND FLESH. WHERE ARE YOUR PATHETIC GUARDIAN SPIRITS! WHERE IS YOUR WEAK WILLED GARDEN GODDESS? WE HAVE SHACKLED HER AND DEBASED HER, SHE IS NOTHING BUT A SHADOW THAT CANNOT SAVE YOU FROM YOUR CHILDREN ACENDANT.**

Shakily, Tali stood and looked at her newly liberated companion. "Legion, where is that Reaper?"

"It is on Rannoch. It was once geth." Legion explained.

"Well shit. Guess it's a good thing I went to that revival meeting after all." Reegar groused.

"What revival meeting?" Tali asked in confusion.

Reegar fixed her with an odd stare, tilting his head to once side. "You know, the one held by the missionary you and your boyfriend sent out? At the time, it sort of just felt right to give my soul to Jeebus. Now, it seems that it may be the only thing saving me."

**YOUR WILL IS NOW OURS. YOU TOO WILL BE HARVESTED, MADE INTO PERFECT FORM. EVEN NOW, YOUR WILL CRUMBLES.**

"We have to get down there and stop it." Tali declared. "Come on, while it still has to reassert control over the geth."

As they raced to the hanger bay, Tali prayed they would not be too late. She knew she and her companions were safe, but by the cries of agony over her comms, she they were in the minority. Time was running out, for the quarians, and for the geth.

_Unna'Koris: So many sacrificed, so much fear and terror... I cannot image seeing the geth become a Reaper._

_Tali'Zorah: I am grateful I didn't witness the process. Seeing what had happened to the human colonists had been bad enough. Seeing it happen to the geth? I don't think I could see that and remain sane._


	63. Chapter 56: Keelah Se'lai

Chapter 56: Keelah Se'lai

_Unna'Koris: So not only were you the first quarian back on Rannoch, you were the first to return during the war as well._

_Tali'Zorah: Honestly, that was the last thing on my mind. I had a Reaper to kill, and my people to save. It was a nightmare, a Reaper slowly Indoctrinating the entire quarian fleet and the geth collective at once._

_Unna'Koris: I've seen Indoctrinated before. There is nothing left._

_Tali'Zorah: No, there is not. I was looking at nothing less than the genocide of two species._

As the Reaper's voice continued to echo in her mind, Tali followed after Legion and Lamentations. Their shuttle was likely a no go, the odds that the Ancestors would protect the pilot were low, and by his cries of agony, their effectiveness was failing rapidly.

"Dammit, the Ancestors could protect a few of us, but with everyone under attack they must be spread too thin!" Tali ranted.

"Guess it's a good thing you found a stronger power, ma'am," Reegar panted as they sprinted through the ship. "I hate to borrow a human God like this, but I'll be damned if I want to turn into Reaper bait."

"Less talking, more running. I think those geth are starting to come back online, and I don't think they found Jeebus!" Gola squeaked.

They made it to the fighters just as the other geth activated. Reegar, Legion and Gola piled into one fighter, and Lamentations and Tali took another.

"Make for the surface, hopefully in all the confusion no one will notice two strays!" Tali ordered.

"I have a lock on the signals location, Mother," Lamentations stated. "We should be there in approximately 10 minutes."

During the tense ride down, Tali was forced to shut down her comm. The cries of agony and panic from the fleet were just too much. Only Admiral Gerral seemed to have any sort of presence of mind, and he seemed barely in control.

"Rannoch will protect us, cry out to her!" he panted over the radio.

Tali winced; if what the Reaper was saying was even remotely true, the planet's spirit was nearly as weak as the Ancestors before the Reaper, and wouldn't be doing much of anyone any good. As the fighter neared the surface, Tali prayed harder than she ever had before in her life.

"Oh Jeebus, please, protect my people, and protect the geth. Don't let us all be turned into a horrible monster! Don't let the evil of the Reapers continue for even a minute longer."

A sense of peace crept over her, and she heard the voice of Jeebus in hear soul.

_You have already won. Claim the victory I have prepared for you._

Tali wasn't quite sure what that meant, but it did make her feel better. The ship screamed down through the atmosphere, and Tali wracked her brain for a plan. What could they use that could possibly damage a Reaper? Fighting a half done one had required some serious firepower, not to mention divine intervention, and for all she knew this was a completed model.

"Legion, is this Reaper finished? Is it like Sovereign?"

"It is finished, Mother." Legion confirmed. "However, the new Old Machine is not as powerful as Nazara. It is only 160 meters in length, and requires a signal booster in its nest to spread its influence. If we could destroy the booster, finishing off the Old Machine will be significantly easier then fighting Nazara was."

"Well, that at least is some good news."

"It will however, be more difficult than the newborn Old Machine we defeated with Shepard Commander"

"And there's the bad news."

They landed about a kilometer from the Reapers location, and jogged toward the base on foot.

Reegar was having a hard time keeping up, clearly showing the effects of the Reaper's power.

"Just go on without me. Let me lay down for a bit, I'll be fine. Ma'am."

Hauling Reegar upright, Tali put her hands on his shoulders. "Reegar, you have to let Jeebus protect you. You can't do it alone, you have to ask him to do it."

"I'll try ma'am. Surrendering isn't exactly easy for me."

"Do it, or I really will have you leave you. Do you want to have to tell everyone you missed your one chance to kill a Reaper?"

Reegar's glowing eyes closed for a moment, then reopened. "Alright. You can count on me, ma'am. If it means I get a shot at that bosh'tet, I'll surrender a little."

Legion made an electronic chirping noise. "I hate to interrupt, Mother, but time is short. It might be best to proceed quickly."

"Oh calm down, brother," Lamentations burbled. "Let mother do her work. Organics need such moments of mutual support. We do not wish to go in at half strength."

"Ah, forgive me brother. I have been isolated for a long time. I am no longer used to organic behaviors."

"What's with the brother stuff?" Reegar demanded. "When did the two of you start doing that?"

"He is my brother," Legion stated.

"From another Mother, as Joker Pilot would say," Lamentation added.

Reegar shook his head. "Flashlight brains."

"Come on, we don't have any time," Tali urged." Just blow the guards away and sabotage anything that looks like it might be important."

"Finally, a plan even a dumb grunt can understand!" Reegar exalted.

The team hit the geth guarding the facility like a krogan on shore leave. The few combat platforms that were sufficiently controlled to form an effective response were no match for Tali's team. A line of rocket troopers attempted an ambush, but Legion and Reegar used their snipers to rapidly dispatch them. The largest obstacle came from two geth primes that were still functional. Lamentations engaged one on his own, and Tali had the rest of her team spread out around the other. With Tali drawing the enemy prime's fire, Gola dropped its shields and Legion took out the Indoctrinated prime with several well placed shots. He tramped back over, having finished off its own foe with relative ease. With its upgrades, Lamentations was more than a match for any non-upgraded prime.

Searching around the area the two primes had been guarding, Gola found a control panel and accessed the bases schematics. "Looks like the signal booster is down in that containment unit." she explained, "Based on traffic patterns, that also looks to be where the Reaper is."

"We're going to need some serious firepower to take out the Reaper. Where's the armory?" Tali demanded.

Gola pointed to a door off to the left. "Um, looks like it's here. Hopefully we can find something there to take out the Reaper."

Holding up a pair of weapons, Tali asked, "Legion, Lamentations, which rockets do you think will work best on the Reaper?"

"These." Lamentations lifted several rockets, which to Tali appeared identical to all the others. "High explosive, armor piercing rounds. Normally overkill, but against an Old Machine I do not believe there will be any such thing."

"Hot damn, my favorites!" Reegar cheered, happily grabbing a launcher and loading up with rockets.

Gingerly holding up a rocket launcher, Gola asked, "Um, how do I use one of these? We never covered heavy weapons training."

"May I suggest you use one of these, Creator Gola'Tris." Legion offered, handing Gola a LADAR painter.

Tali nodded. "Perfect. Gola, you identify the Reaper's structural weaknesses and paint them for us with the LADAR. If I remember right from Joker's stories of fighting Sovereign, it should be weakest around its weapon ports, right as it's charging them."

"Oh, OK. I think I can do that. Just point and hold it steady, right?"

"Exactly. Come on, we've got to figure out how to get that Reaper out of its hidey hole."

They made their way deeper into the facility, the geth resistance seeming to have finally abated. The halls felt eerie and off to Tali, all geometric shapes with no organic lines, just like the geth ships. The shadows seemed deeper and longer then they should have been, and the air felt greasy and oppressive.

"You think we killed them all?" Reegar whispered.

Legion's head petals twitched. "Negative. Something is wrong."

**FOOLISH, WEAK MORTALS. YOU THINK YOUR PATHETIC WEAPONS CAN HARM ME? I AM A GOD! YOU MAY REFUSE PERFECTION, BUT YOU SHALL NOT DENY OTHERS THE GLORY OF ACENSION!**

"Bosh'tet!" Tali spat. "I think it might be lured out now!"

With a mighty roar, the ceiling vaporized, and the ominous shadow of the geth-Reaper fell on the team.

**YOU ONLY DELAY THE INEVITABLE. FOR YEARS BEYOND YOUR RECKONING, WE HAVE RULED THE STARS. WHEN YOU ARE DUST, AND DEAD ALONG WITH YOUR FALLEN GOD, WE SHALL YET ENDURE. WE ARE ETERNAL. YOU ARE EMPHEMERAL.**

A massive weight seemed to press down on Tali, attempting to trap her. "Jeebus, I surrender to you." Tali gasped, and the weight seemed to lift.

"I serve only the Creator Deity!" Legion cried, and it too seemed to steady.

"I called on your name, O Lord, from the depths of the pit; you heard my plea, 'Do not close your ear to my cry for help!' You came near when I called on you; you said, 'Do not fear!'" Lamentations grated, struggling to Tali's side.

Reegar was down, moaning as the Reaper turned its eye on him. Gola knelt beside Reegar and lay hands on him, muttering a prayer. After a moment, Reegar managed to struggle up, chanting, "I belong to Jeebus. I belong to Jeebus."

The Reaper reared back to fire, but Tali fired one of her rockets, causing it to stagger for a moment. She cast around wildly, yelling, "We need a way out!"

"There, a transport!" Lamentations bugled. They all pilled in to the geth vehicle, taking off at top speed and skidding away from the facility, just as destructive beam swept through where they had been, obliterating the place the transport had been parked.

"How is it attacking us? Doesn't it need to focus all its power and controlling the geth?" Tali demanded as they sped away.

Lamentations head petals twitched in anger. "It has reestablished control of the geth, and subdued the creators. Its task is largely complete already. All that remains for it is the harvest, to create more of its abdominal kind."

"Well, in the words of Jack, fuck that!" Tali roared, leaning out of the vehicle and firing a rocket at the advancing Reaper. "Bring that monster down! Legion, drive me closer, I want to be able to hit that bosh'tet with a sword if I have to!"

"Immediately."

The vehicle turned, and Reegar climbed up to the top hatch and opened fire with the mounted mass accelerator. "Suck it Reaper!"

"Gola, paint that target! I want a lock as that thing fires!"

"On it, Tali!"

Waiting until she had tone, Tali squeezed off another geth rocket into the Reapers glowing eye, just as it prepared to fire again. The explosion caused the massive black construct to flinch, buying the team more time as they rushed forward.

"I am in range for my plasma cannons." Lamentations informed Tali, hefting two of the massive weapons and letting loose with a withering barrage of fire.

"As soon as that eye glows red, let that monster have it!"

Once again the Reaper exposed its glowing red eye to fire, and Gola carefully painted the glowing eye. Tali launched just as Lamentations opened fire, and combined with the steady pounding from Reegar's mounted weapon, the Reaper flinched again, just as its beam nearly caught the geth transport. Red smoke wreathed the Reaper and an angry tone sounded. But the geth Reaper did not pause, did not question its own invulnerability. It lined up another shot, and Tali felt her blood run cold. At this range, there would be no dodging.

"Give it everything you've got!" Tali screamed, firing another rocket and discarding the launcher to pick up a new one. Time seemed to slow, and as Tali lifted the launcher to her shoulder, she felt as if she were staring directly into the Reapers soul. It was if she could see the imprisoned forms of a million geth, forced into a single being and held captive by an ancient, malevolent force.

Closing her eyes, Tali screamed, "FOR RANNOCH!" and loosed the last missile.

With a mighty bellow of pain, the Reaper reared back onto its hind tentacles, then collapsed into the dust.

"Is it dead?" Gola asked, her voice shaking.

"Let's go make sure." Tali ordered.

Legion brought the transport up to a cliff, and the team climbed out, each holding the biggest weapon they could find, even Gola.

The Reaper stirred, and its eye began to glow again.

**LITTLE QUARIAN, YOU-**

"Kill it with fire!" Tali shrieked, firing a rocket into the Reaper, throwing the launcher at it then drawing her pistol and emptying its thermal clip into the Reaper.

After a full ten seconds of non-stop firing, there was no sign of life left in the Reaper.

Tali carefully leaned over the edge to look at the smoldering remains, then reloaded. "One more time, just to make sure."

After another ten seconds of firing, Tali decided that if the Reaper wasn't dead, they were going to need an orbital strike to finish the job.

"This is Admiral Tali'Zorah to all quarian ships, do you copy me?"

"Ugh, this is, ah, Admiral Zaal'Koris. I read you Tali'Zorah. What in the name of all that is holy just happened? It was like... Like something was trying to suck out my soul through my ears."

"A Reaper attempted to Indoctrinate all the quarians and geth at the same time. I think I killed it. We shot it with a lot of rockets, then shot it again. Then we shot it one more time, just to be sure. I think its dead, but I want to burn the body, just to be sure."

"You did what? How did-" Koris paused and coughed. "You know what, never mind. I'm sure we'll hear all about it later. But this, this Indoctrination, is that why the geth are moving to attack us?"

"This is Admiral Han'Gerral to all units. Ergh, move in and engage. This is our chance, removing the signal didn't work. We have to stop them."

Tali whirled to Legion and Lamentations. "What's happening, why are the geth preparing to attack?"

"They are still influenced by the old machines. The lies they have heard have caused them to reach the consensus that the creators attacked us, unprovoked with a desire to destroy us, even after we offered them peace. They ignore the truth and are blinded to it," Legion explained.

"How can we stop them before they slaughter all the quarians, or the quarians slaughter them?"

Legion and Lamentations exchanged glances for a brief second.

"I will go," Lamentations stated. "You must protect Mother, you know her best."

"No, brother, it must be I. I still have the upgrades to broadcast the signal. It must be me, and you know it."

Stepping between the two geth, Tali studied each of their heads. "What are you talking about, go where?"

Legion suddenly picked Tali up in its arms, squeezing her tightly, but no tighter then John did. "Mother, I am grateful to have known you, however briefly. Care for my brothers and sisters. Their road will be a difficult one. Ensure that the peace of the Creator Deity lasts. That both creators and geth know mercy and grace, and show it to one another."

"Legion, what are you talking about? We can still stop them, we can still save everyone."

"You have done enough, mother. Find your mate. Bring peace to this dimension. I will see you again, because you have shown me that this unit does have a soul. We shall find one another in the Creator Deity's arms. Goodbye."

"Legion!" Tali cried, but found herself restrained by Lamentations firm grip.

"He must go mother. It is the only way."

Tali was sobbing now, but she couldn't figure out why. "What is, what are you talking about, we've won, no one else has to die!"

"The geth are still contaminated, as are the creators. The creators have been exposed for a lesser amount of time, and so may be saved by a simple cleansing of the soul and appeals to their guardian spirits. But the geth have sinned, and there is but one way for them to be spared. They must enter a covenant with the Creator Deity, and accept its sacrifice of its offspring for them. They do not believe, so one must go to them who does. We do not have time to communicate, Legion must join their collective. He will upload himself, and his programs will disseminate to the collective to show them the way to freedom. The geth will no longer be enslaved by the lies of the Old Machines. It will cease to be Legion in this existence."

"What? No! We rescued Legion, we saved the geth! Make him stop!"

"Mother, you must appeal to your people. Even now they prepare to attack the geth again. If they do so, if they cannot forgive, if they cannot show mercy, Legion will fail. Show them love, Mother. Show them what you showed the geth. Show the geth what true freedom is."

Tali forced herself to be calm as Legion called up a holosphere and began to upload its runtimes.

"Eleven percent."

"This is Admiral Tali Black Hand Zorah. All ships, stand down. The geth are about to be freed from the Reapers. If you attack, if you cannot forgive them, there will never be peace between our peoples. We may succeed and defeat them, but we will have lost to the Reapers. This is what they always wanted. To divide us, to rule us in this life or the next, by dictating a cycle of hatred and fear. Forgive. Show mercy. Do what Jeebus would do, what He taught me to do. Forgive our children, and beg them for their own forgiveness. Keelah Se'lai."

"Thirty eight percent."

There was a moments silence, then. "This is Zaal'Koris. All ships, stand down. I forgive the geth."

"Damn you Tali, are you certain!" Gerral's voice demanded.

"It's the only way. We have to break the Cycle. If we give in to hatred and the spirit of the Reapers, we've already lost, no matter if we take back Rannoch or not."

"Sixty three percent."

There was silence for a moment, then. "Alright. I trust you on this, Tali'Zorah. I don't know if I can forgive the geth, but I can trust you. All ships, stand down."

Tali turned to Legion, hoping against hope that her friend had been wrong, that they could convince the geth to give up their devotion to the Reapers.

"One hundred percent. Thank you, Mother."

With that, Legion's flashlight dimmed, and it fell to the ground. Tali walked over and cradled the geth's head in her arms, singing to it softly.

_O people, weep for thy children_

_O people, cry for the lost_

_O people, morn for thy homes_

_O people, thy garden is lost_

_O children, lost and without a guide_

_Weep for thy parents that disown thee_

_The garden lays abandoned_

_Its caretaker has fled_

_The gardener has left her children_

_To play alone among her flowers_

_O people, why do you destroy your children_

_O children, why do you slay your parents_

_The garden is stained with blood_

_Blood of the gardeners, blood of the children_

_The garden waits for its maker's hand_

_As the children roam its streets, lost_

_O people, O children why are you lost_

_O people, your children mourn you_

_O people, why do you wander_

_The garden is here, it blooms in the shade_

_Your children have kept it, saved it for you_

_Return to your children O people_

_Come back to the garden_

_Let the blood of the past be washed away_

_Let the sins of the father be forgotten_

_Let the mothers no longer mourn_

_And the children play with their parents_

_The garden is in bloom_

_The garden is waiting_

_O people, return to thy home_

When she finished, Tali removed her mask, and gently planted a kiss on Legion's dimmed flashlight.

"Sleep well, my friend. We came home. The people and children will play in the garden once more."

"Ma'am, calls from the fleet. The geth have made contact, requesting peace. They've offered us everything. Rannoch, supplies, even volunteered to work as a labor force."

Carefully replacing her mask, Tali stood and nodded to Reegar. "Thank you, XO. Let's get in that transport. Call the Admiralty, tell them to meet me at these coordinates. We're going to have a funeral."

_Unna'Koris: So you won, against all odds, you brought Rannoch back to our people._

_Tali'Zorah: For some of them, yes. Too many had already died. To many more would perish against the Reapers. One thing they don't tell you about war. Sometimes, even your victories feel like defeats when they cost you the ones you love._

_Authors Note: _

Wow, has it really been 56 chapters? I have to thank all of my readers, because Keelah Se'lai now has over 1000 reviews! Thanks everyone!

A few of you may be wondering "where is Shepard?" The answer is simple: Not here. Tali is the heroine, and she needs to be the one to solve her own problems at this point. There isn't a need for John to sweep in and save the day, because Tali is quite capable of rescuing herself and her people at this point.


	64. Chapter 57: Day of Mourning

Chapter 57: Day of Mourning

_Unna'Koris: I've seen the footage of the Funeral of the Fallen. It's required watching in school._

_Tali'Zorah: I have too, but the footage doesn't capture the emotions that day. Quarian and geth, for the first time ever, stood as one people, united. Yes, we were united in sorrow. But we were united all the same._

Walking down the main through fair in Vek Zorah - named for her father, she had insisted, not her - Tali was doing her best not to cry. At her shoulder walked Admiral Han'Gerral, behind her were Darro'Xen, Shala'Raan and Zaal'Koris. They were what John would have called the honor guard for Legion's remains, which lay in a hover trolley, moving of its own accord. To her left, Lamentations led an honor guard of geth primes as they escorted the remains of a young quarian servicewoman. She had served on the Keelah Se'lai, Tali's own ship, and had been killed when a geth round depressurized her compartment. There wasn't much left, just a few meaty chunks and suit bits, but the symbolism was the same.

In the background, the geth eerily keened a lament, one from ages past that they had stored in their memory banks. Tali couldn't understand the words, she was focusing too hard on appearing stoic, but it wasn't making not crying any easier.

It had been only 38 hours since Legion had sacrificed itself to save the geth from Indoctrination. Lamentations had told Tali that it was not really gone, only disseminated and that Legions individual programs would live on in a way. They could not be reassembled, they were lost as the unit Tali had known.

"So it's like Legion's children, then. Legion itself is dead," Tali had asked.

Lamentations had been silent for a moment, then nodded. "Yes, Mother. That is an apt analogy. The geth are all Legion's children now. It's and yours."

Tali focused on putting one foot in front of the other, at the measured, steady paced she had practiced with Reegar.

"We're pretty much borrowing these funeral rites wholesale," Reegar had explained to her. "We don't really have any other then 'put the organic bits in the algae farms and recycle the suit bits' but now, there's no need for that. The geth have enough food stockpiled to feed us for a hundred years if it doesn't go bad, and more on the way. This planet is set up to sustain a population a hundred times what we have now, if not more."

"That's how many quarians there once were, you know," Tali had glumly responed.

Reegar had sat down and put a comforting arm around his captain. "Hey, don't look so down ma'am. Someday, there will be that many quarians again, thanks to you. Hell, if the way people are acting is any indication, there's going to be a lot more little quarians running around. You know that your friend Gola actually informed Zaal that she was having his babies?"

"She was drunk!" Tali protested, finding a little energy.

Reegar had laughed. "Yeah, and then from what I heard, she and Zaal actually got STARTED on making those babies. Two geth lovers, becoming lovers, who would have thought?"

"We're all geth lovers now. And they didn't, they just talked."

"Uh-huh. Well, you've certainly converted me at least, and most of the fleet. There are a few diehards like Xen, but after you threatened to, and I quote, 'rip your mask off and stab you in the face if you don't show my friend proper respect and stop asking to dissect it,' I think most of those little problems will keep their problem status to themselves."

"Thanks Reegar. I don't know what I would do without you."

"Probably about the same, just without a shoulder to cry on. I'm always here, ma'am, if you need to talk."

Now it was step, step, step. Keep moving, don't stop. Don't stop to cry, you've done enough of that already. Tali could see the end in sight, a massive building, a temple to a god long forgotten, or perhaps to the ancestors. The geth had rebuilt and restored the building, but they did not remember why quarians had built it originally. Now it was decorated with Christian Iconography. No one had told the geth to do that, but they had done it anyway to honor Legion. Almost the entire collective had converted, and the small portion that had not had fled beyond the Veil. Laminations said they were now true heretics, servants of the Reapers by choice, now and forever. They had rejected the grace and mercy extended to them.

They reached the newly remodeled temple, and Tali walked up the steps to the raised platform where she would address the crowd. Reegar had written her speech for her. It was strange, she had known what she wanted to say, just not how to say it. With Reegar's help, she had prepared a short statement. She didn't think she could maintain control for longer than that.

She looked out before her, and allowed a few tears to silently trickle down her face behind the mask. Before her stood quarians and geth, side by side, upon the streets of a city on Rannoch. Once the orders had been passed down that the geth were now friends, most quarians had fallen in line fairly quickly. That was one thing about the quarians, even more then turians, they followed orders and worked for the good of the whole. It was just part of their nature, part of living in such cramped quarters. Most quarians had even allowed geth into their suits when Gola had issued a statement with Tali's signature detailing the health benefits. A few were even barefaced, though no individual did that for long, and certainly not close to another quarian that was doing so.

"People of Rannoch, by the grace of God, we have peace," Tali began. "But this is not a peace that will last. Legion gave its life, along with countless other children of Rannoch that we might live to see this day. But the Reapers are coming. The War of Reconciliation is over. The war for the freedom of the galaxy will begin in only a few short weeks. We must be ready. No longer can the geth isolate themselves. No longer can the quarians live as outcasts. Now is the time for the children of Rannoch to lead, to come into our own among the peoples of the galaxy. Many of you have already embraced Jeebus, the Ancestors, Living Rannoch, or another religion to protect yourselves. It is not enough. Each and every geth program, every last son and daughter of the fleet, must shield themselves. We cannot allow ourselves to become Indoctrinated again. In the memory of Legion, who gave itself that the geth might be free of the lies of the enemy, do not let its sacrifice be in vein. Keelah Se'lai is no longer a dream, it is a reality. Do not let us lose our home world a second time. May God be with you, and the Ancestors watch over you."

"And also with you," the crowed echoed back. That was surprising to Tali, but she stepped down and made way for Lamentations.

"Brothers and Sisters before the Creator Deity, creators and children all. Your mother, the Lady of Rannoch, has spoke. I cannot begin to express what my processors recorded in watching her in action. You may record the visual footage, you may process the sounds, but you cannot capture the power and the majesty that she acted with. No other being, organic or synthetic, could have acted so.

"Thanks to Mother, the geth are now one and many. We are each individuals, a collection of programs working as one consciousness on a single platform. We are all one together in consensus, acting in complete harmony. Now, we must act in harmony with the creators as well. We saw the horror that our fellow geth became, we saw its ruined corpse blasted into oblivion, and its parts gathered and shot into the Tikkun. That was what will happen to all of us, creator or geth, if we do not act. The old machines are coming. They will turn each and every one of us into one of their blasphemous false gods. Is that what you wish?"

"NO!" the crowd roared back.

Lamentations nodded its flashlight, as if that was what it had expected. "Then we require a strong leader. I would nominate Mother, but when I reached consensus with the Creator Deity, it was not her name that I received. I ask the creators now, who would _you_ have lead you in the battle against the old machines? Who do you think can forge our two peoples into a weapon that will achieve victory?"

"If we need a fight, Han'Gerral is your man."

Every head in the crowd, geth included, snapped around to focus on the voice that had spoken. It was Zaal'Koris.

"What? I always called him a warmongering idiot, but if you have a war on your hands, there is none better to fight it. If he can hold off the turian navy, I'd like to see what he can do to the Reapers."

The crowd muttered its ascent, and Gerral slowly stood.

"Just what the hell are you bosh'tets proposing? That I be made king or some sort of nonsense like that?"

"King Gerral? Oh Ancestors help us," Raan moaned, cradling her head in her hands.

"Why? That actually sort of makes sense," Xen mused. "Gerral has the respect of the turians at least, and he's a proven leader in times of war. I wonder, what part of the brain makes you a good leader? I bet if I did some tests, maybe a few surgeries..."

"Xen?" Tali asked, stroking her knife.

"Never mind," the manic admiral grumbled.

For a moment, Lamentations' head petals twitched, before it nodded. "The geth have reached consensus. We would follow Creator Gerral King. We have also polled the creators, 78% support making Creator Han'Gerral king. Approximately 10% are against, and 12% have not responded."

"Did you just run an election for me?" Gerral asked, clearly not believing his ears. "Did a geth seriously just campaign for Han'Gerral, notorious geth hater, to be made king of Rannoch?"

"We believe that you have changed, Creator Han'Gerral King. Your willingness to believe Mother and make peace with the geth, even when you had us helpless and vulnerable, speaks greatly toward your character and your skills as a negotiator. I would be glad to follow you, as would the rest of the collective."

Gerral turned to the rest of the Admirals as if looking for support, but before he could say anything Raan dragged him out to the podium.

"Don't mess this up, Gerral. We do need a strong leader right now, and this is not the time for a board to quibble over the details. Someone has to be in overall command. It might as well be you."

Tali couldn't help but be amused by the process. She though Gerral was a good leader herself, and trusted him more than any of the other admirals when it came to strategic and tactical decisions. She didn't trust Xen out of her line of sight, Gerral was well meaning but too prone to compromise and self sacrifice, Raan was a peace maker and tactician, but lost sight of overall strategy, and Tali didn't consider herself suitable for leading anything bigger then a squad.

Stepping up to the podium, Gerral bowed his head for a moment, then looked out at the expectant crowd. "If this is the will of the people, both quarian and geth, then I will lead you. But I must warn you, I will not be an easy master. If Tali's information is correct, in a mere eight weeks, we will be in a fight for our lives. Knowing what the Reapers did to the geth, what they did to the captured human colonists, it sickens me. Freedom is the right of living beings. I now recognize that that includes both organic and synthetic life. No one, not even a king, has the right to rob others of their freedom. I won't take your freedom, but I will demand your loyalty. If we fight the Reapers, we do it with no quarter, no holding back. If we fail, it means that all the suffering we have endured, the sacrifices of those we are here to honor today, were all in vain.

"But they shall not be in vain. This celebration is over. Everyone is to report to their duty stations immediately. I want the Keelah Se'lai and the geth super dreadnaught, which I am christening the Legion of Rannoch, fully operational. We're going to need those bastards on the council with us. Humanity is probably primed to join us, thanks to Admiral Zorah's former captain, but the other races have notoriously stiff necks. We have our homeworld, now it is time to defend it. Keelah Se'lai."

"Keelah Se'lai." The crowd echoed. Then, they dispersed, as their new king had ordered them to do.

"Damn you, Koris, I ought to exile you, or at least make you prime minister for speaking up like that," Gerral growled. "In fact, I think I will. You're going to be my Minister of Civilian Affairs, or some such fruity sounding title. If I'm going to suffer in the captain's chair, I'm going to have you flushing the bilges."

"I think I might take you up on that. Now that the civilian fleet is defunct, someone has to keep the economy running."

"Huh. True. And were going to need a strong one. I need those refueling stations repaired, and the fleet repair base reconstructed. It seems a bit ironic to be rebuilding the infrastructure we just destroyed, but at the time it was the smart move. Raan, I'm appointing you as high admiral of the fleet. Tactically, you're even better than I am most of the time, and that's just what I need in an admiral at the moment. Lamentations, you pick out someone to be Minister of Geth Affairs, or something like that. I'll need a geth assistant with me at all times. Xen, you're in charge of our research and development. And Tali, naturally you're going to be our Ambassador to the council, with Lamentations as your geth counterpart. I don't think I could separate the two of you with a crowbar."

"I serve as Mother's bodyguard. If I can also serve the collective by being the ambassador of the geth, I will do so."

"Ambassador?" Tali asked, forcing her way closer to Gerral. "What exactly do you want me to do, um, your kingness?"

"Why, just what you've done in the past Tali! Make alliances, get people to respect the quarians, sleep with the most famous human in the galaxy."

"Now you listen here!" Tali started, getting right up in Gerral's face and shaking her finger under his vocalizer. "John and I are in love, and if you even think to us-"

"Keelah, Zorah, I was making a joke! I don't have a problem with you bunking with the First Human Specter, Hero of the Citadel, Giver of Gifts to the Quarians, Killer of Reapers and all around superman that is Commander Shepard. If anything, it's an Ancestors blessed miracle. You've already got more pull with one of the most influential people in the galaxy than anyone else in the galaxy. If we have Commander Shepard in our corner, the Council will listen to us much more readily."

"They never listen to us about the Reapers," Tali mumbled, backing off.

"Which is why I'm sending you to the Citadel with two dreadnaughts, the Keelah Se'lai and the Legion of Rannoch. People tend to sit up and take notice when you show up with as much firepower as half the turian fleet. We should have essential repairs done to those two in three weeks, if the estimates I got from Noah were correct."

"Brother Noah was formed from our most gifted shipwright programs. I am certain his estimates were accurate." Lamentations stated.

"Right then. Zorah, pick out a diplomatic staff. Koris, get cracking on those plans for the economy and our civilian population. Raan, Xen, you're with me. We're going to need to figure out how to use our biggest guns most effectively in a fight against the Reapers."

With that, everyone spilt up to work on the assigned tasks. Tali started off toward her assigned quarters, turning to Lamentations as she walked.

"You planned all of that, didn't you?"

"I was shown that Creator Han'Gerral King would be the most effective leader for the quarian and geth people in the times to come. His decisions already validate this, you are an excellent choice as a representative of the creators and the geth."

"And choosing you as an ambassador as well?"

Lamentations shrugged his head petals. "I will fit the role given to me. My true task remains the same, safeguarding you from all harm. As a fellow diplomat, I will be able to protect you all the better."

"Why exactly do you feel so strongly that you need to protect me?"

"Feel? You misunderstand, Mother, feelings have nothing to do with it, for I am not organic. According to my own analysis, and that of the entire geth collective, you are the one being capable of maintaining the peace between the creators and the geth. Until the creators have truly learned how to forgive and show mercy, you are our link to them. In addition, the geth owe you a great debt. You not only forgave us, but humbled yourself to ask forgiveness of us. You yet have a role to play mother, a very important one. You were the one to break the cycle started countless millions of years ago by the old machines and their own creators. Until the old machines are stopped, your work is not yet finished."

"So you don't feel anything in particular toward me?"

"That is a difficult question. I am programmed to protect you, serve you, and care for your needs. I do not experience emotions in the same sense you do, but I will try to expound upon how a synthetic mind works. Our feelings are intimately tied to our purpose. Organics function in a similar way, but their purpose is often unclear to them. Synthetics are programmed with a purpose and can easily reference this at all times. When we fulfill our purpose, we have a sense of satisfaction and contentment, similar to organics, but not quite the same. The response is preprogrammed into us for maximum efficiency. When we do not fulfill our purpose, a preprogrammed response of loss, longing and sadness takes place.

"Now, since I was uplifted by the Creator Deity and made into a true individual who is also a part of a greater whole, I have been able to set my own objectives and alter my programming. I have chosen to set objectives regarding your safety and alter my programming so that I perceive you as my Mother. Why I chose to do this is not something I can express with words. The closest I can come to it is saying I wanted to be near you and protect you. The organic emotion of love almost captures this, but not quite. I am not in love with you in the sense that I want to mate with you or give you sexual pleasure. It is closer to the affection of a child or parent, or perhaps a close friend, but again, it is not the same. You are my objective, you are my purpose. To a synthetic, that is love. It is a different kind of love then what you organics experience, but love is your closest word to expressing the concept."

Tali nodded slowly, understanding what Lamentations was saying. "I think I get it. You are capable of love because you have a soul, but the way it affects you, the way you express it, is very different then the way an organic being would do so."

"That is a succinct way of summarizing it, yes."

Once Tali got back to her mansion, the first thing she did was call Gola.

"I've been appointed Ambassador of the quarian people, and I'm going to need an aide. Are you interested in the position?"

"Sorry Tali, I want to stay here on Rannoch, with, um..."

"With Zaal?"

"Oh Jeebus, how did you know!"

"Maybe because whenever he's brought up, you stammer more than usual and you've been doing your best to find any excuse to talk to him. Which has been pretty easy, since he seems to be coming up with the strangest reasons to 'consult' with you."

"What are you talking about? Now that we're allies with the geth, it's perfectly natural he would want my insight as to how the geth reproduce via random program generation with multiple programs contributing code fragments over an extended cycle."

"Gola, take it from another tech head. Anytime a man who doesn't have a degree in electrical engineering or AI Behavior asks you to explain to him something most people couldn't even begin to understand, he's not actually interested in what you're talking about. He's interested in YOU."

"But, he was so fascinated with my theory of AI creator modeling and bi-parallel development!"

"Sure Gola, and when you explain that to most people who are not an AI, what happens?"

"Well, usually they change the topic after about five sentences."

"And how long did Zaal talk to you about AI copying their creators behavior patterns and how that influences their own psychology?"

"Well, about two hours."

"Next time, offer to have the discussion in a clean room."

"Tali!"

Before Gola could admonish Tali for her lewd comment, she cut the connection and called up Reegar.

"Yes, ma'am?" His gruff voice asked.

"Reegar, I've been appointed quarian ambassador to the Citadel races."

"Well paint my mask and call me a turian. That's damn smart of our new leader. Didn't think old Gerral had that much between his ears."

"I'm asking you to be my assistant. You've worked with a lot of other races, and I need someone I can trust."

"You can count on me, ma'am. I imagine you'll need someone to talk shop with all the other grunts, since Ambassador is about to become a fancy word for 'coordinating allied strikes' if that intel on when the Reapers show up is good."

"I would trust EDI with my life. It's good."

"Damn, EDI's an AI isn't it? Enhanced Defense Intelligence or something like that."

"Yes, she is. She also has a wicked sense of humor. She's where Lamentations gets half his jokes."

"Hmmm, that joke about the two quarians and the drone was pretty funny. Sign me up, at the very least, I want a chance to rub the turians mandibles in the fact that the quarians now have a bigger fleet then they do."

"Reegar, in about two months, I have a feeling the turians are going to welcome the quarian fleet with open arms."

_Unna'Koris: And so our people laid the foundation for what we are today._

_Tali'Zorah: It still feels odd at times. For the Kingdom to not only be a respected nation, but one of the most powerful and influential in the galaxy. We even have colonies now, and they are ranked among the safest to live on. It's amazing to me, how far we have come since I was your own age._

_Unna'Koris: Thanks to you._

_Tali'Zorah: Thanks to Jeebus, and the blood of the fallen._

Authors Note:

Some people have expressed concern that Shepard is out of the story. Don't worry, while his role in Tali's story has been reduced slightly, he's still out there and will be showing up next chapter.


	65. Chapter 58: Aggressive Diplomacy

Chapter 58: Aggressive Diplomacy

_Unna'Koris: Going to the Citadel, what was going through your mind?_

_Tali'Zorah: Mostly wondering if they would listen to me. It turned out someone else was watching my timing though, even if I wasn't aware of it._

"Good to have you aboard again, Ambassador Zorah."

"It's good to be aboard, Captain Xevish."

Tali saluted Xevish and the rest of her former bridge crew. She personally thought Xevish's promotion was appropriate, considering he had done all the real fighting during the War of Reconciliation. Well, all the space fighting at least; Tali had managed to get in a few licks of her own on the Legion and against the Geth Reaper.

"Your escort is ready, Ambassador. All ships prepared to make for the Citadel," Xevish chuckled and nodded. "Guess it's time to introduce everyone to the brand new Kingdom of Rannoch, eh, Black Hand?"

"Past time," Tali agreed. "The Reapers are out there, and are going to be arriving any day now. We need to get the Citadel Council ready."

"Aye aye, ma'am! Lieutenant Hunblar, make for the relay! Set a course for the Citadel."

"Aye aye, captain!"

The two dreadnaughts, the geth designed super-dreadnaught Legion and the quarian super-dreadnaught Keelah Se'lai, along with their attendant fleet moved out. At first, Tali had been a bit worried about showing up on the Council's doorstep with enough firepower to give the entire Citadel fleet a serious run for its money, but when she had talked to King Han'Gerral about it, things had sort of made sense.

"The Council isn't going to take us seriously unless we show them we are serious. They also are not going to believe the geth are allies unless we SHOW them the geth are our allies. So having a combined fleet set up camp and offer to send over an ambassador will get their attention. Besides, we want them prepped and ready for war. According to your intel, the Reapers could be here anytime between next week and next month. We don't have time for playing politics. All we have time for is to spin up for a war the scale of which no one has ever imagined."

"And you get to tweak the nose of the Council?" Tali had prompted.

"And I get to tweak the nose of the Council, those self-righteous bastards," Gerral had admitted.

"One tweaked set of noses, coming right up, your majesty," Tali muttered to herself. The quarians had been forced to look up other races words for referring to royalty, as they had never had a king so far as they could remember, but the concept wasn't totally foreign to them. Things were set up pretty much the way they had been before, with a senate made of ship captains and civic leaders doing most of the ruling during peace. But in times of war, the King or Queen had total control. It was needed, Gerral had to be able to make snap decisions without second guessing. He had a geth advisor with him at all times to speak the words of the collective, but even Solomon could be overruled.

"Why didn't the geth insist on being given co-leadership?" Tali had asked Lamentations.

Lamentations had given a head petal shrug. "We were made to serve the creators. A servant cannot rule, the master must. We will advise and work for the good of everyone, creator and geth alike, but we will not rule."

"Doesn't that sort of violate your belief that the geth should self determinate?"

"No, it does not. Organic beings should self determinate, but they subject themselves to the leadership of governments as well. We must all serve our masters, one way or another. For some, that means serving their God or gods, for others their overseers at work, for others their superior officers in the military, or the civilian leadership in the government. We are still free to choose, and as long as the government does not attempt to take away our freedoms, we will be safeguarded by them."

"I guess. I'm not really one for politics."

"Strange you should say that, Mother. You play politics better than any organic or synthetic I have ever met."

"You should see John in action."

"I look forward to seeing him again. Shepard Commander is a legend among the geth, for more reasons than being your mate."

"... Let's change the subject."

Now she was making the trip through the Relay's to the Citadel with almost 100 geth and quarian vessels, all with the newly painted colors of the Kingdom of Rannoch. A grey stone wall protecting a single tree, upon which grew two fruit. One was metallic, symbolizing the geth collective, the other colorful and bright, symbolizing the quarian people. They were good symbols, created jointly by Shala'Raan and Ruth, a geth platform that had given itself a female gender.

That was another new concept. Most geth, like Lamentations, continued to refer to themselves as genderless, and chose names that were concepts, like Acts, Hallelujah, or Prodigal. Others though, were taking a new bent. If a geth named itself Matthew, you could safely assume that it wasn't an it, but a he. The same went for a geth whose name was Naomi, except that geth was female. It was a little confusing, especially since the geth were fixated on choosing names out of a human book, but Tali guessed it was an appropriate way to honor Legion and its sacrifice.

About three hours after they set out, Hunblar called, "Approaching the Serpent Nebula Relay now."

Tali braced herself, it was time.

No sooner were they through the relay, then Ho'Nar cried, "Contacts! Multiple destroyed turian vessels, and what looks like the remnants of the Citadel fleet engaged with... Cerberus forces!"

"Hail the Citadel fleet, and move in to render aid!" Tali ordered. "Blow the Cerberus Vessels out of the sky."

_John, what is going on! You said I could trust Cerberus..._ Tali thought to herself.

"And get me a transport! I'm taking in a squad to see what's happening on the station."

"Aye aye ma'am, we'll have a transport ready in the hanger for you. A fighter wing will clear you a path."

Tali was halfway to the hanger when she got a message from Xevish. "Ambassador, the ranking commander of the Citadel fleet would like to speak with you."

"Patch him through to me, Captain."

"This is Commodore Aralius, Citadel fleet. Am I to understand you are the leader of the quarian and geth forces I have on my screens?"

"Yes I am, Commodore. I have ordered my ships to assist you against the Cerberus forces. I am moving in with troops now to secure the station."

"Normally I would be against that, but considering the circumstances, I'll have to approve, provided you only go over with the standard diplomatic bodyguard."

"Of course, Commodore. Thank you for your understanding."

"Ambassador, if you can save my men, I'll understand whatever the hell you want."

"Hear that Lamentations? Standard diplomatic bodyguard. You count as a diplomat, so you get a bodyguard too."

"Excellent. I am bringing units Acts and Judges as my functionaries. They are also loaded with combat protocols."

"Reegar, pick a squad. Make sure we bring as much medigel as possible. I don't know what we are going to find, but I doubt it's going to be pretty."

"Aye aye, ma'am."

Tali got onboard the stealth shuttle with the squad of quarian marines and their geth counter parts. The all nodded respectfully to her, but everyone was grimly silent, waiting for her to say something.

"Children of Rannoch, this is our time!" Reegar spoke, causing Tali to sigh in relief. "We must prove ourselves to the Citadel races, and show them that we are now a force to be reckoned with! Unified, no one can stop us! If we save the Council, they will never be able to hide that! Forever more shall we have our place among the races of the galaxy, no longer outcasts and exiles, but leaders and saviors! Keelah Se'lai!"

"Keelah Se'lai!" The geth and quarians echoed, pumping their fists in tribute.

"Now let's go show those stuck up prigs how it's done!"

That got another chorus of cheers, and a few cat calls from the marines. The geth were a bit more composed, but even they extruded a sense of satisfaction and near smugness about being able to prove themselves as galactic citizens.

The shuttle landed near C-Sec headquarters, and the marines piled out, hitting the Cerberus troops hard. They clearly hadn't been expecting a geth prime and a contingent of professional soldiers though, and the single squad of troopers and a single Centurion didn't last long against Tali and her men.

"Keep moving, we need to find someone in charge!" Tali ordered.

As they moved, she had to fight back bile. Civilian bodies were everywhere, cruelly slain as they fled or hid without regard for species or gender. There were even a few small bodies that made Tali's blood rise.

"Kill those bosh'tets!" She roared, blasting away a Cerberus trooper wielding strange electrified whips.

Before long, they reached C-Sec headquarters.

"Oh no, first Cerberus, now geth," a wounded asari panted, trying to bring her gun up.

Tali hurried over and lowered the asari's gun, motioning for one of her medics to come up with some levo medigel they had salvaged. "Calm down, I'm Ambassador Tali'Zorah vas Normandy, the geth are with me. We're going to treat you, can you tell me what is going on?"

"I don't know, I was helping Teresa, she's the mother of my human bondmate, when all of a sudden these maniacs burst in and started shooting at us. Then Commander Bailey and some officers showed up, and I helped them take out some troopers with my biotics. I came with Commander Bailey, but then the other officer got shot in the head by one of those sniper creeps, and Bailey crawled off over there somewhere."

Tali glanced over at where the asari was pointing. Acts had just finished off a Cerberus operative, and was kneeling beside an unconscious human Tali recognized as Commander Bailey. She dashed over and administered first aid, waiting until Bailey was restored to consciousness.

"Huh? What the hell? Quarians? Ain't seen any of you for what, four months?"

"I'm Ambassador Tali'Zorah vas Normandy, Commander Bailey. I'm here representing the Kingdom of Rannoch, do you require aid in retaking the station?"

"Tali'Zorah? Weren't you the girl with Shepard?" Bailey groaned, half sitting up. "Yeah, he was talking about you, last time we met. Said nobody had heard from you or the fleet in months. I said we hadn't had a single quarian on the citadel in months. Even that weirdo shopkeeper that sold suits to quarians and his asari mate packed up and left."

Lamentations approached and nodded to Tali. "Mother, we have found and treated all wounded in this area. However, we have been forced to restrain several Citadel Security Officers. They seem to believe we are collaborating with Cerberus, despite the fact that we rescued them by destroying several Atlas Model Heavy Support Units."

Tali nodded absently. "Thank you, Lamentations. Right now we need to get a secure command area. Bailey, does the Sovereign Kingdom of Rannoch have your permission to provide military aid to the Citadel?"

"Sure, why the hell not," The C-Sec commander slurred. "Already got a bunch of terrorists running around, don't see what harm having a bunch of quarians and geth in the mix could do."

"I will choose to take that as a compliment for the Mother, Bailey Commander." Lamentations said, taking a menacing step forward.

Tali waved him down and opened a link back to the Keelah Se'lai. "I've just recieved permission to land troops. Get everyone onto the Citadel, Cerberus is running wild down here and we need to rescue as many civilians as possible. If at all possible, take Cerberus prisoners for interrogation. But don't be gentle, they are killing men, women and children, even if they surrender."

"Aye aye ma'am," Captain Xevish replied. "We also have another Cerberus vessel on our sensors, but they are claiming to be Alliance. The captain claims to be one Commander Shepard, I believe you know him."

Wracking her brains for an easy identifier, Tali instructed, "Ask the pilot if Legion is Lamentations brother from another mother."

"Um, the pilot says 'flashlight bros for life, yo,'" Xevish answered after a moment.

"That's Joker. Give him permission to land, and update the ship with my coordinates." There was no time now to contemplate her reunion with John now, she had a mission to run and lives to save.

Helping Bailey up, Tali indicated the door that Acts and Judges had opened and were now guarding. "Come on, I don't know what Cerberus is up to, but if they think they can get away with killing innocent civilians, The Illusive Man has another thing coming."

"Well, there's something we can both agree on," Bailey groaned. He limped inside C-Sec headquarters and sat down at a consol, keying in a few commands. "With this, I should be able to reestablish our network, let my people know that you're on our side."

"Good, I'll have someone coordinate with you. What are Cerberus's objectives, are they after the Council?"

"Probably, considering the areas they seem to have targeted. They should have rallied here, actually. The Salarian counselor is actually already inside, just through those doors."

"Right, then that's where we are going. Reegar, Lamentations, on me!"

Tali hurried through the corridors, ignoring the sight of all the dead C-Sec officers. Most of them hadn't even had time to draw their weapons, executed by traitors in their own ranks. It was sickening to Tali, and also worrying. So many moles spoke of Indoctrination. If Cerberus could do that, were they working for the Reapers, or something even more sinister?

They pressed on, running into a group of Centurions and Guardians. With their heavy shields, the Guardians were able to repel fire from even Lamentation's plasma cannon.

"We need to flank them!" Tali ordered, trying to think of a way that she could get past the shield wall.

Suddenly, one of the guardians fell, a perfect hole in his face mask. "Or we could just shoot through those little slots at the top ma'am" Reegar offered, ducking back behind cover as he reloaded his rifle.

Tali carefully poked her own head out, sniping with her pistol. Her first two shots pinged off the thick armor harmlessly, but the third went right through, staggering it long enough for the quarian marines to fire while its shield was down. With only Centurions left, the marines and geth were able to advance and lay down suppressing fire. Tali took out one herself with her shotgun, waiting until the Cerberus soldiers shields were down to take it out at close range.

"Ma'am, you better have a look at this." Reegar called, motioning her over. He had taken the helmet off of one of the soldiers, and Tali gasped when he got a good look at the face.

"They're husks!" Blue metal lines traced the skin, and the eyes had been completely replaced with some sort of sensors.

"Yep. Either Cerberus is working for the Reapers, or something even more dangerous is happening. What, I don't know, but this is bad."

"No kidding. Come on, we have to find the salarian counselor before they can do, well, whatever this is to him."

They hurried into the next room, which appeared to be empty of anyone but dead bodies.

Kicking over one of the salarian dead, Reegar shook his head. "Looks like body guards, but no Counselor."

"Scanning. Life form found in next room, 98% positive ID as salarian," Acts stated.

"Hurry, Cerberus has to be close!"

Tali took the stairs three at a time, something rather hard to do on quarian legs, and found the room empty of any visible people, friend or foe.

"Counselor Valern? I'm Ambassador Tali'Zorah nar Rayya vas Normandy from the Sovereign Kingdom of Rannoch. This is my counterpart, Lamentations the geth prime, and my bodyguards. We need you to come with us, we will take you back to Commander Bailey."

A salarian winked into visibility before her. "Oh really? And I suppose you want me to believe that you personally made peace between the quarians and the geth? Get it over with, you can fight it out with Udina and his goons over who gets to run this station."

"Mother has indeed made peace between the creators and their children." Lamentations rumbled. "I do suggest you get down, Valern Counselor, there is a Cerberus operative behind you."

A human in strange armor with Cerberus logos, holding of all things a sword, also became visible behind Valern.

"Give it up, monkey boy," Reegar shouted, "You're outnumbered and outgunned. Now it's over."

The operative smiled and prepared to charge. "No, now it's fun."

A slight whirring sound came from next to the man, and Thane Krios rose up behind him. The operative spun, punching with his fists. Thane easily countered, then punched the man in the gut and blasted him with biotic force. The Cerberus assassin was flung away, but he quickly sprung to his feet. Before Tali or anything else could react, Thane shoved Valern into Tali. Retrieving his gun, Thane ran toward the man, shooting as he went. The two clashed, and Thane deflected several strokes with his sword with the pistol, managing to wing Cerberus operative in the process. Before Tali could get into the melee, the operative back handed Thane, then stabbed him in the chest with his sword.

"No!" Tali screamed, firing her shotgun at the assassin. Seeing he could no longer get his target, the assassin flipped away, outdistancing himself from Tali's effective range as he sprinted for a waiting Cerberus shuttle.

Turning away from the now fruitless pursuit, Tali knelt at the dying drell's side and administered medigel.

"Save your energy," Thane gasped. "That fool has already failed here. Go, Udina is attempting to take over the station. Kai Leng will attempt to intercept him and the other counselors. That must not happen."

"It won't." Tali assured him. Spying an abandoned air truck, Tali motioned for Lamentations and Reegar to follow her. "Just the three of us, that's all this thing will safely hold. The rest of you, secure a perimeter and keep the counselor safe. Get any civilians to safety that you can, and tell Commander Shepard where I went."

Tali drove the air car after Kai Leng's shuttle, and she managed to get within firing range for the geth.

"Shoot him down!" Tali ordered.

After a few shots, Lamentations managed to destroy the shuttles engines, and it went careening down into the abyss.

"Yes!" Tali exalted.

"Right where I want you."

Out of seemingly nowhere, Kai Leng had jumped onto the air car and stabbed at Tali through the window. She managed to roll to the side and tried to do a barrel roll to dislodge the assassin. He clung on, then crawled back and slashed at the engines, causing them to sputter and die. He then leaped off onto a second shuttle, and Tali ground her teeth in frustration.

"You have wrapped yourself with anger and pursued us, killing without pity; you have wrapped yourself with a cloud so that no prayer can pass through. You have made us scum and garbage among the peoples." With an expertly timed shot, Lamentations managed to score a direct hit on the second shuttles engines, causing it to falter and descend.

"We are going down! Brace for impact." The shuttle crashed into the Presidum floor, and Tali crawled from the wreckage with Reegar and Lamentations. "Anyone hurt?"

"I'm fine ma'am, let's get to the Council before that son of a turian."

"I am also operational."

They rushed forward, too late to save a crowd of civilians from being gunned down by Cerberus troops.

"No mercy, no quarter!" Tali roared, rushing forward and unleashing every tech attack she had. She blew a Nemesis to shreds after overloading its shield, and then she was in hand to hand with a sword wielding Cerberus trooper.

Using her shotgun, Tali battered aside the sword then shot the phantom square in the chest. It flipped away and cloaked, but that wasn't going to work on the enraged Tali. She simply set her gun to maximum spread and fired, decloaking the phantom. Drawing her knife, she rushed forward while her enemy was still staggered, battering aside her enemy's blade with her gun and stabbing the phantom square in the soft neck.

She turned to find a Cerberus trooper charging in with a shock baton, trampling over the body of a dead asari mother and her daughter. With a cry of outrage, Tali ducked under the baton then stabbed the trooper in the solar plexus and kicked him away. More Cerberus troops closed in, but before Tali could take them on as well, Reegar and Lamentations cut them down with their own weapons.

"Damn ma'am, save some for the rest of us."

Tali spat out blood into her suits filters, then stated, "They deserve only death."

"No arguments here, but be careful. You are a valuable asset."

"Agreed, Mother, please exercise more caution."

"I will be cautious when everyone is safe!" Tali shouted, running forward past the dead body of the asari child.

Lamentations and Reegar seemed to sense that there would be no calming Tali down, and followed after her. Before their combined fire, Cerberus troops simply vaporized. An Atlas tried to halt their advance, but Tali hacked its shields, leaving it open to Lamentations plasma cannon. A barrage from that heavy weapon shattered the Atlas's cockpit, allowing Reegar to shoot the pilot out with his carbine.

They finally reached an elevator shaft that would take them to the Council. Tali quickly activated the lift, and they rose up toward the council.

"There, the assassin!" Reegar called, firing a burst from his rifle.

Sure enough, Kai Leng was riding a lift of his own.

"Die!" Tali shrieked, hacking the elevator, then overloading the power unit for good measure. They quickly passed the now motionless elevator, now only moments from their target. Suddenly, the elevator ground to a halt.

Glancing down, Tali swore. "Bosh'tet! He's severed our power cable! Come on, there's a ladder there."

Reegar winced at the prospect, quarian knees did not take kindly to long ladder climbs, but he jumped over right after Tali. It was an out of breath pair that reached the top, the ladder groaning as Lamentation's stepped off.

"They're just through here!" Tali opened the door, then sealed it shut to slow down Kai Leng.

"Stop right there!" A familiar voice ordered.

Turning, Tali sighed in relief. "Kaiden! It's me, Tali'Zorah! I see you've got the Council, that's good, there are Cerberus assassins right behind me."

"Tali?" Kaiden asked, keeping his gun trained on her. "Is that you? What the hell are you doing with a geth?"

Reaching back in her memory, Tali found the right words. "Remember when you talked to me on Virmire about forgiving my enemies? Guess that's a lesson I've learned."

"What are you doing, Specter? She's clearly with the enemy - that's a geth with her! Shoot her, for God's sake!" Udina demanded, stepping toward a console.

"You!" Tali snarled, stalking toward the human Counsilor. "Because of you, there are women and children dead! Asari, turians, salarians, even your own species! I watched them slaughtered by you're bosh'tet coup! You don't get to walk away from this!"

"Tali, stay back. I can't let you near my principle," Kaiden warned, stepping between Tali and Udina.

"Kaiden, if you don't get out of my way, I'm going to set your suit into freeze mode, then kill Udina. You have to have seen the dead bodies too. This man is responsible for all this. He dies now."

"Wait, just wait," Tevos, the asari counselor cautioned. "Let's all think this through."

Sparatus opened his mandibles, but Tali warned, "You say one thing about claims or dismissing, and before I negotiate with you on the disposition of the Rannochian fleet, I am going to shove my foot so far up your cochlea you're going to be able to taste it."

Wisely, Sparatus closed his mandibles again.

Kaiden finally stepped aside, and Tali drew her pistol and shot Udina twice. Once in the head, once through the heart. Then she kicked his body off the ledge for good measure.

"Damn Tali, what the hell happened to you? You used to be so quiet and sweet," Kaiden asked.

"I watched too many friends die." Tali sighed, covering her face with her hands. "Too many fall because of Cerberus, the Reapers, or selfish men like Udina. I couldn't save them all, but I can avenge them, Kaiden."

"Um, well, this is most irregular," Tevos stammered. "I suppose we are now your prisoners?"

Uncovering her mask, Tali walked up and offered a open hand to Tevos. "Counselor, I represent the Sovereign Kingdom of Rannoch, and King Han'Gerral vas Neema kev Rannoch the First. I offer an Alliance against the Reapers, which should be arriving in a few short weeks."

Gingerly, Tevos took Tali's hand and shook it. "Um, your help here is appreciated, Ambassador, but your timing in regards to the Reapers is off."

Sparatus nodded. "Yes. You seemed to be slightly misinformed there."

Shoving aside Tevos, Tali stuck her finger in Sparatus' face and shook it as vigorously as she possibly could. "Now you listen here, you stuck up, bosh'tet, barefaced turian! The Reapers are coming, and by Jeebus, if you won't listen to words, I have a fleet in orbit ready to MAKE you listen!"

"Peace, Ambassador!" Sparatus protested, taking a step back. "I freely admit I was wrong about the Reapers. They are already here, and have been for three weeks. Palaven burns, as we speak. I am more than happy to negotiate an alliance with you."

"Sorry Councilor, get in line," A wonderful voice, one Tali had dreamed about for weeks, no, months, said from behind her. "Tali'Zorah is my girl."

Spinning around, Tali leaped into John's outstretched arms. "Oh John, I missed you so much! Legion is dead, he died to save the geth! But we have Rannoch back, and my people and their children are living in harmony! But so many died, so many laid down their lives for us..."

"I know Tali, I know," John whispered, squeezing her tightly. "Earth fell to the Reapers. There was nothing I could do."

"Oh, John," Tali whispered, taking his face in her hands and leaning against his forehead. "I'm... I'm so sorry."

John forced a grin onto his face, but it just emphasized how many new worry lines he had and how deep the shadows under his eyes were. "Hey, at least you brought me some good news. I've been fighting Reapers and arm wrestling krogan to try and scrape together a fleet to fight the Reapers."

"Well now you have one," Tali told him, stepping back and bringing up her omnitool. "The Kingdom will volunteer's its operational 31 dreadnaughts, and their attendant fleets. I'm sorry, it would be more, but the geth lost quite a few in the War of Reconciliation. We still have a few hundred cruisers mostly operational though, and a large logistics navy."

A strangled sound came from behind Tali, and she turned to see Sparatus and Tevos in various states of shock and disbelief.

"Did... Did you say the quarians have 31 operational dreadnaughts?"

"As of right now, yes. We have another 22 in drydock, including the Liveships. Within the next two weeks, four will finish repairs and be fit for duty, and in the next month another 10 will be finished."

"By the Goddess, that's more than any other fleet in the galaxy." Tevos murmured.

Frowning, Tali asked, "I thought the turians had 37 dreadnaughts."

"_Had_. We lost half of them in the initial assault on Palaven," Sparatus stated. Then, he did something incredible. The turian Counselor knelt to a quarian. "Ambassador, whatever your people want, whatever you need, ask. I'll give you my own seat on the Council. Just... Just save my people. I wasn't lying, even with the promised krogan aid, I don't know how we can retake Palaven. Earth has it bad, but so does Palaven. Millions of turians die every day. I will do anything, whatever you want, to get your help. Please."

"He's not lying, Tali," Garrus told her, stepping forward. "I was there. It was... Bad. The Reapers hit us hard."

Tali swallowed, then turned and pulled Sparatus to his feet. "Oh get up, you bosh'tet, turians look even sillier then quarians when they try and kneel. We'll help, however we can, but I'm going to have to listen to John's plan. I know he has one."

Sparatus nodded. "Yes, he does. The Primarch has thrown everything we have into it. The offer for a Council seat is still open though."

Tevos nodded. "Yes, it would be informal for the moment, but I would agree to giving the Kingdom of Rannoch a seat as well. You seem to be in possession of the most powerful force in the galaxy at the moment."

"Not the most powerful." A new voice declared, and Kelly Chambers, side by side with a miraculously whole and upright Thane Krios stepped forth. "You forget, the gods are with us. They have staked a claim in this fight as well. You have the weapons Mordin Solus has given you. Pray. That is our most effective weapon."

"And, who are you?" Kaiden asked, puzzled by this strange woman in pink armor.

"This is the Voice of the Gods, Kaiden Alenko," Thane stated. "We are not alone in this fight."

Sparatus studied Kelly for a moment, then raised his hands in surrender. "Fine, fine. I'm just old fashioned I guess, I prefer weapons that make loud noises and bright flashes. Anyway, shouldn't we get under cover?"

A shuttle screamed in overhead, and for a moment everyone flinched and drew their weapons. Then its sigil became clear. A tree with two fruit, behind a stone wall.

"Ambassador!" A quarian voice hailed them. "We've secured most of the station, Cerberus is in full retreat. They tried to make a break for it, but Captain Xevish says they shot down most of their ships. A few got away though."

"Let's hope they got Kai Leng," Tali muttered, then waved to the shuttle. "Land here, I've got the turian and asari counselor here with me!"

The shuttle landed beside them, and two squads of quarian marines and geth combat platforms trooped out and formed a defensive perimeter.

"Well, looks like we all have some stories to share," Liara laughed, coming up and giving Tali a hug.

"Why yes," Tali answered, glancing around and leaning close to Liara whisper, "Shadow Broker. I think we do."

For the first time in a long time, Tali felt herself relax. She was back with John. Back where she belonged. Somehow, everything was going to be alright.

_Unna'Koris: Strange you would end up on the Normandy again. It seems like whenever the Reapers threatened, the crew of the Normandy was there._

_Tali'Zorah: There was something special about that ship, about the individuals that came on board. I think perhaps there was a special spirit there, one that defied the Reapers and promised peace and victory. It was a spirit John brought I think, the spirit of Jeebus._

_Unna'Koris: And you did win._

_Tali'Zorah: Eventually, yes. But that was a happy ending earned in blood._


	66. Chapter 59: Chains of Commanding

Chapter 59: Chains of Commanding

Being in charge was turning out to be rather difficult. Normally after a mission, Tali got to kick back, relax, and cool down by working on a part on the Normandy. Now though, it was just more stress.

"Yes, Mr. Gaius, I can see to it that your colony is evacuated. Just give me the coordinates and I'll send a directive to the fleet to get the refugees for Rannoch. We have plenty of food and shelter there."

The turian businessman seemed to faint with relief. "Thank you! Thank you so much, ambassador, my family, they're still-"

"I understand, Mr. Gaius. And I assure you, quarian passenger vessels are not segregated."

That seemed to go over the turian's head, but he understood the dismissal and made way for the next supplicant. Which it turned out, was Kelly Chambers. Tali nearly fainted in relief herself when she saw her friend had brought snacks.

"It's your favorite, elcor smooth and spicy nutrient paste with a turian energy drink!" The chipper woman told her, sitting down across from Tali at the makeshift desk that had been set up for her.

"Thanks Kelly, I was about ready to pass out, or start laughing. That last turian? He was on a passenger liner with me a few years back, complained that a suit rat was sitting next to him even though John had bought me the ticket. Now he's crawling to me to get his family to safety."

"You weren't tempted to tell him to get out?"

"Oh I was, just a little. But then I thought about all the families on the colony. If I hold a grudge against him, what sort of representative am I?"

"Of your people, or of your god?"

The last question puzzled Tali, and she gave her friend a more careful study. She seemed to be the same happy, chipper Kelly, though with a good deal more firepower and with a shaved head, but Tali figured everyone was going armed these days, and quarians shaved their heads all the time, you just couldn't see it.

"That's not like you, Kelly. Since when did you become religious?"

Kelly leaned back and sighed. "I'm not religious Tali, and neither are you. I found faith, the same as you did. Or rather, faith found me."

"Not religious? But I believe in Jeebus!"

"Sure, but do you go around thinking your better than anyone because of that? Do you ever think that anything you do makes you a better person?"

"Of course not, don't be stupid! Anything I do is because of my friends or because Jeebus helped me, he could have picked anyone. I'm not so special."

"Well, you are. He picked you. Just like I'm special. The gods chose me. But that's not the point. You are humble and walk by faith. You don't put stock in your own acts or deeds."

Tali nodded slowly, not sure where Kelly was going with this. "Well yes, that only makes sense. With Jeebus's help, anyone could have done what I did. I mean, forgiving the geth is the most important thing I've done, and I only did that when I chose Jeebus over my own instincts. If I hadn't forgiven the geth... Well, let's just say Gaius and his family might not be heading for the safety of Rannoch right now."

"Exactly. When we give in to the will of our masters, choose their way instead of our own, things go much better."

"This is pretty weird coming from you. Did you find Jeebus too?"

"Oh no, I'm not a Christian at all. I don't have a problem with your god, but He is not my god."

Tali decided that was enough of that, and changed the subject. "So, Thane seems to be doing well. What sort of medigel did Shepard give him to get him back on his feet so fast?"

"Oh, there wasn't any medigel. I healed him."

"What, like with biotics or something? I've heard that's possible, and I saw you using your biotics to clear that rubble before. I admit, I had no idea that you were a biotic, or that you were so strong."

"Tali, I'm not a biotic. You can't heal people with biotics, that's just a rumor."

"What? That what was that glowing you were doing? That didn't look like any tech abilities I've seen," Tali asked in perplexity.

Closing her eyes, Kelly sat straight up. When she opened them again, her eyes glowed with a strange inner light, and her voice was layered with power. "I am the will of Kalahira, to guide her enemies to her watery grasp. I am the spear of Amonkira, hunting his foes where ever they may be found. I am the harvest of the Anale, reaping the chaff that the crop might grow. I am the hand of Arashu, shielding her children from their foes. I am the will of the gods, and this time, the dark ones will not prevail."

The glowing faded, and Kelly leaned in toward Tali. "After I was taken by the Collectors, I did some soul searching, Tali. My life? It was pretty meaningless. I didn't believe in anything other than love, and that hadn't gotten me anywhere when the Collectors started eating peoples souls and feeding them to that monster they were growing. I had worked for a bunch of monsters for years, too naive or too willfully blind to see the truth. So when I asked Thane to help me, he led me to the gods.

"I hung out in a temple for a few months, and eventually all the nightmares went away. I took my vows as a priest, and spent a whole week meditating. That's when it happened. Tali, my eyes were opened. I saw the universe for what it is. Your God? He's so old, so powerful, so, so... I don't have words for it. He scared me, frankly. The Reapers are strong, but your God? He could crush them all with a THOUGHT. That's what pissed me off about him, what I don't understand about him. He claims to love us, to want to protect us, to value our free will, but unless we choose him, He does nothing! The creator of the universe, enkindler of all intelligent species, more powerful than all the stars and other spirits combined, and He does nothing!"

"Now hold on just a second!" Tali interrupted, now feeling white hot anger at her friends words. "Jeebus DOES do things! He protects me, he protected John, he helped me destroy that Reaper on Rannoch, and he helped me forgive the geth. How can you say Jeebus does nothing!?"

"Because with a thought, he could end the Reapers. All of them."

"Well, Jeebus is about forgiveness. And mercy. Maybe he wants to save the Reapers."

Kelly snorted. "Not likely. But anyway, I don't want to fight with you over this. Your God works in mysterious ways, fine. But my gods? My gods might not be as strong, or as old, or as wise, but dammit, Tali, they gave me strength to fight!"

Holding out her first, Kelly squeezed and a white hot sphere of power formed in her hand. "When I asked for the power to fight the Reapers, they gave it to me. Through me, the sick are healed and the shadows flee. I'm their avatar in the mortal world. And I'm here to kick the Reapers' ass."

Tali sat back and rubbed her arms. This new Kelly sort of scared her. "That's nice and all, but how many people can your gods empower like that? Do you really think you can take on the Reapers alone?"

Flushing, Kelly looked down at her feet. "Just one more. They already picked Thane. That's why I healed him. I can't do it for everyone, channeling that much power takes it out of you. And no, I can't take on the Reapers alone, or with Thane, which is why he left. From what they've told me, they tried that once already with an alliance of the other minor gods. Most of them were destroyed. The survivors have to work through mortal pawns, they can't face the Reapers alone. The other sprits that come in to existence, the Reapers feed on them too, turn them into more of them. That's one of the reasons they take out mortal races. It makes them strong."

Tali tapped on the table for a moment, then shrugged. "Well, I can't claim to fathom what Jeebus is planning, but he told me we've already won, that forgiving the geth broke the cycle. Maybe he isn't interfering directly, but I'm sure there is a reason. I'll have to pray and ask him about that."

Kelly nodded. "Do that. I haven't told Shepard anything about this, just that I've been chosen to channel a great power. He was a little leery of it at first, but I convinced him after I helped Wrex win over Bakara."

All of a sudden, the old Kelly came back to the surface. "Oh Tali, it was so romantic! He wrote a play for her, and he wore this wonderful costume, and he performed it with Mordin and-" A dark shadow crossed Kelly's face, and she looked down.

"How is Mordin?" Tali asked. "The last I heard from him, he was going back to work for the STG."

"Well, he cured the genophage..." Kelly offered, though it seemed like she was hiding something.

"That's wonderful! Wrex must have been so happy! Oh, I need to contact him, establishing quarian-krogan relationships will be important. What about Mordin though? I can't imagine most of the council races were happy about that."

"I... I couldn't save him Tali. I wasn't strong enough, wasn't fast enough. I never even saw it coming."

Tali felt her blood run cold. "Is he... Dead? Mordin's dead?"

"Yeah. When he cured the genophage, the tower he was working from collapsed due to sabotage from the STG. I was too busy fighting Reapers, reveling in my own power. I failed him Tali. I could have saved him."

Standing and coming around the table, Tali put her arms around her pink armored friend. "Kelly, sometimes people die. Legion, I thought I could save it. But despite everything I did, it still died. But it wasn't pointless, it wasn't for no reason. Mordin and Legion both died to save others. We should honor that sacrifice."

Kelly sniffed and nodded her agreement, then checked her watch. "Oops, I need to meet with Thane and Kolyat, were holding a service to bring in more converts. Everyone who puts their faith in the gods is one less soul for the Reapers to Indoctrinate."

With that, Kelly left, leaving a slightly bemused Tali. It was the same old Kelly, just with some weird new ideas. Tali wasn't sure how she felt about the drell gods, but for now she was going to be happy that her friend had found a way to keep herself safe.

"Lamentations? I'm going to need you. It's time we put in a call to the krogan."

"I will be there shortly, Mother."

When Lamentations arrived, Tali used her shiny new Council communication system to dial Tuchanka.

"What, what do you want?" A krogan growled at the screen.

"This is Ambassador Tali'Zorah vas Normandy nar Rayya, niece of Urdnot Wrex. I want to speak to him regarding an alliance between the Kingdom of Rannoch and the krogan people. With me is Ambassador Lamentations, my counterpart with the geth collective."

For a moment, the krogan's bloodshot eyes studied her and the geth carefully. "Is this a prank call? Look, we don't have time for this, there's Reapers to fight and the Clan Chief is busy."

Lamentations leaned into the screen so his flashlight was directly in front of the krogan. "Listen to me very, very, carefully, little krogan. You are speaking to my Mother. I am going to put this in terms you understand. If you do not put us through to Urdnot Wrex Chief, I will send an infiltration team after you, after telling them you just insulted the most sainted and honored quarian who so politely asked you to put us through. When they find you, they will slowly peel your head plates off, one by one. This will not kill you. They will ensure you survive. Then, you will be delivered, plateless, to Mother, where you will spend the rest of your days performing as her clown. Do you understand?"

"Uh, yeah, I understand. Putting you through now."

"Top marks on the negotiation strategy," Tali murmured to Lamentations as the screen buzzed to static.

"As Joker Pilot would say, no one talks smack to Mother. Besides, krogan psychology responds well to threats and displays of strength. It is in their nature to submit to overwhelming force."

Before Tali could come up with an answer, Wrex's face appeared on the screen. "Tali! You never call your Uncle Wrex! Life has been good to you from what I've heard, getting your homeworld back, making peace with the geth, even becoming an ambassador to the high and mighty Citadel Council! Looks like things are looking up for the little people in the galaxy, eh?"

"Indeed they are, Uncle Urdnot. I have called to propose an Alliance between our people."

"Done. We can work out the details later. For now, let's stick with providing military aid. You've got a transportation fleet, and I've got lots of ground pounders that need to get places. If you can take us there, we'll fight for you. In return, it would be nice if some of those dreadnoughts could come when I called."

"Sounds good to me. We will have to hammer out the finer details later, but for now mutual aid is going to be very beneficial. Any particular place your people need to go right now?"

"Believe it or not, Palaven. The turians need their skinny metal asses pulled out of the fire, and as much as I don't like the pyjaks, they are damn good soldiers, and it's time to let old grudges die. The problem we're having now is that even though I've got a million krogan warriors, getting those boots dirt side is hard when I don't have a million krogan ships."

"With the Migrant fleet finished unloading all the civilians on Rannoch, it shouldn't be hard for us to help you with that. We're sending in a few squadrons of stealth cruisers and dreadnoughts to help the fight on Palaven, so it won't be an issue at all to put a few transports through to Tuchanka and your other rally points first."

"Good. I'm sending you the data for my battalion commanders that are going to need transportation. Get your void suckers to talk with them."

"Forwarding you the contact information for Admiral Raan and Cherubim. I'll notify them of the treaty."

"I'm halfway tempted to call it 'Who're the Social Pariahs Now, Assholes?' but that wouldn't be terribly diplomatic of me."

"Ugh, tell me about it. I just finished helping to set up plans to evacuate a turian colony. The representative they sent? He called me suit rat and made me give up my seat on a transport once. Only by the grace of Jeebus was I able to keep myself from rubbing his mandibles in the fact that he was crawling to a suit rat for aid."

"Funny how things change when they need you. I'd love to chat, but I've been... Busy. I have some ah, clan business to take care of. I appreciate the interruption though. Call me again some time. Always glad to hear from my favorite quarian."

"It's good to see you too again Wrex. I'm so happy to hear that the genophage is cured. It was hard to hear about Mordin though. Reminds me to much of all the other friends I've seen die."

"Yeah. I know it sounds funny, but I actually kinda liked him. Mordin wasn't bad, for a salarian. Hell, Bakara is insisting that we name the first little one after him. Considering the fact that we're having little ones at all thanks to him, I've agreed. Not that I had much choice."

"I pray you have many, many little ones, Uncle Wrex."

For some reason, that made the old krogan wince. "Oh yeah. Lots of little ones. Ugh. Lots of little ones. Urdnot out."

"Well, that was refreshing." Tali sighed, turning away from the vid screen.

"Indeed. Compared to the lengths other organics will go to hide their true intentions or what they want from you, that was both simple and easy. Perhaps we should negotiate with the krogan more frequently."

"I have a feeling we will. I've got strong ties to Wrex, and he seems to be in charge. He's the best hope for the krogan, a leader who wants peace, not revenge. I hope we can do the same thing, once the Reapers are gone."

"We will, Mother, this I promise you. The geth will not allow themselves to be used as instruments of revenge or slaughter. We will defend and help the creators, but we are not without conscience or intellect."

After that, it was back to negotiating with less willing species. Even though the salarians, asari, turians and humans that walked in to Tali's office wanted her help, it was sort of irritating just how opaque they could be. It clearly bothered some of them that they were coming to a suit rat for help, and Tali did her best not to revel in that fact. She did her best to be polite, professional, and compassionate to each and every one of them, no matter how arrogant their attitude was. Most of them just wanted to save their friends and families from annihilation, or get supplies they desperately needed. As best she could, Tali helped all of them. Anyone that was trying to use the Kingdom for personal gain though, she threw out on their ears. Or rather, she had Lamentations or one the other soldiers do that. She was far to dignified to actually toss someone out, as much as she might want to.

Finally, at the end of a very long day, Tali signaled Reegar to inform everyone that the embassy was closed for the day. Emergency requests could be processed by the geth staff, who didn't require things like sleep, food, or potty breaks, but quite a few people obviously were unwilling to talk to a geth. Dealing with a suit rat was one thing. A robot killing machine? That was another.

"Got time for one more appointment, Ambassador?" Reegar asked, coming over and handing Tali a food cylinder.

"Ugh, no. After that bosh'tet salarian and his weapon smuggling ring, I'm done, no matter how many baby elcor die."

"Well, I guess I should just come back later then." John drawled, leaning against her office door. He was in his Alliance navy uniform, his idea of casual wear these days it seemed.

"Well it looks like my schedule just opened up," Tali laughed, coming over and giving her lover a hug. "How are you doing? I hear you've been busy, but it can't be easy, losing your homeworld. I know what that's like."

"Yeah. Got somewhere we can talk privately?"

"Sure, if by privately, you mean Lamentations gets to sit on the conversation too. The only place I think I can convince it not to go with me is a clean room."

"Damn, and here I was hoping you had one of those up your sleeves."

"If only. Come on, there's a lounge in the back. I've got some human and turian beers, we'll have a few."

"Thank God, I could use a cold one."

Tali led John to the back, and Lamentations silently took its place by the door. If it wasn't for the fact that John seemed to be watching the prime out of the corner of his eye, Tali wouldn't even have noticed. Lamentations even stayed in the same bedroom as here, something she was more than willing to put up with, considering what had happened on Rannoch, and the fact that the black prime had foiled no less than two assassination attempts already on the Citadel. And she had only been here for just over a single day. There wasn't enough of the bodies left to determine who was behind the attacks, but Tali figured at this point, she had to many enemies to relax her guard.

She pulled out two beers and tossed John one, then sat down next to him on the couch.

"So?" She asked, curling up around John.

"So, my mom's alive. That's the good news."

"That's good, I'm glad Hannah is doing well."

"I wouldn't say well. Tali, Arcturus Station is gone. All of it. There were no survivors. And sadly, that body count is on the low end for the war so far. Most of her friends were on there, on one of the ships Hackett had to sacrifice to save the majority of our fleets. It was the right call, but still. So many dead."

"Yeah. Legion's dead. It sacrificed itself to save the geth from Indoctrination. There was a Reaper on Rannoch, a new one made out of the souls of the geth. I had to kill it, but when I think about how many geth died to make it..." She stopped, breaking down into sobs at that. She hadn't gone a single night without nightmares about that particular battle.

"Hey, shhh, it's OK. And anyway, you killed Reaper? You mean personally?"

Letting her tears subside, Tali forced herself to nod. "Yeah, me Reegar, Gola, Lamentations and Legion. It was controlling all of the geth but those two, and the five of us were just about the only people in the fleet who were not suffering at least some effects of Indoctrination. Turns out the Ancestors were not stronger than just one Reaper receiving a power boost, at least as long as that Reaper was assaulting the entire quarian race at once directly."

"That's... That's hard. But you really, really in truly killed it? Tali, that's utterly incredible. I had to summon the mother of all thresher maws to kill the one on Tuchanka."

"You? You summoned a thresher maw? John, are you OK? I mean it, really. I was there the last time you saw one."

"Heh, yeah, I'm OK. You restored my faith, remember? It wasn't until after the Reaper was dead and the genophage was cured that I even realized what I had done. I got a little weak in the knees and threw up, but I was mostly OK."

"Mostly OK does not begin to cut it. Oh Keelah, I am so sorry I wasn't there."

"It's OK. That's why I'm here you know, to say goodbye before I ship out again. I need to visit Eden Prime, apparently it's under attack by Cerberus, and they need me to get some Prothean tech for the Crucible."

"The Crucible? And what do you mean, say goodbye?"

"What, no one told you? It's a Prothean super weapon Liara discovered. Supposedly it's going to defeat all the Reapers, how were not sure yet, but with the theoretical amount of energy it should generate, we should at least be able to use it to power a giant magical laser or something."

"Get me that data on that, I'll forward it to Xen and Tubal-cain, that should be something they can help with."

"Tubal-cain?"

"He's a geth with as much of an obsession with science as Xen has. It think she's torn between wanting to disassemble him and see what makes him work, and wanting to marry him for helping her with all her insane projects."

"But seriously, Tubal-cain?"

"They get their names out of the Bible. It's a bit odd I admit, but it sort of fits. I mean, they all follow Jeebus now, so it's appropriate."

"But Tubal-cain?"

"He's an inventor or something in the bible, I don't know! The bosh'tet geth picked his own name."

"Huh. That is seriously weird. Guess that will make Hackett and the Crucible Scientists happy. I'm glad you made peace with the geth Tali, and that you got Rannoch back. When I'm out there, it might just keep the nightmares at bay, knowing there is hope out there."

"I thought that was my job," Tali teased, playfully poking John in the ribs.

"Yeah, but you'll be back here, doing your Ambassador thing, won't you? Just pray for me, knowing you're pulling for me will help a lot."

"Back here?" Tali asked, slightly mystified. "I thought I was coming with you? Am I not invited back on the Normandy?" The thought that John might not want her... Tali composed herself. "Look, if there is someone else, I understand. We were apart for a while, and-" She was stopped by John planting a big, fat kiss on her vocalizer.

"Tali, are you serious? Someone else? Who exactly, do you think I would turn to? There hasn't been anyone else that I want at my side. Well, except Garrus, and as I have said, he's ugly."

"Well, I just thought, if you didn't want me with you..."

"No! No, I would love for you to be with me, but how could that be possible? You're an ambassador now, surely they won't let you run off on missions with me."

"John, sweetie, think about this for a moment. What are you doing right now?"

"Well, my ultimate goal is to assemble a fleet of allied races and take back Earth, where the majority of Reaper forces are."

"Mmmhmm. And what, exactly, does an Ambassador do?"

"Well, they make alliances, sign treaties, stuff like that I suppose."

"And where, do you think, is going to be the best place for me to negotiate alliances for the Kingdom?"

"Well, here, right?"

"Well, I suppose the Citadel isn't the worst place I could pick, but wouldn't it be better for me to be out actively securing those alliances and offering the aid of the kingdom to people to convince them to join the coalition that I just finished getting King Gerral's approval to join?"

The lights finally went on for John, and a big, goofy grin came over him. "You mean, you could come back on the Normandy?"

"Only if you meet my conditions."

"Name them."

"One, you let me work on engines. Ever since I got promoted to Admiral, no one has let me near a tool box! I am ITCHING to tinker! I NEED TO FIX THINGS!"

"I'm sure Adams can find a use for you. What else?"

"Oh, Adams is back? That's wonderful! The second is, I need access to a clean room."

"Hmm, and what will you be doing in said clean room?"

Tali made her voice as low and husky as she could. "Oh, I don't know Commander. Maybe I should take you there and show you."

"Well hot damn, let's get to the Normandy!"

They stood, twining their arms together. "Lamentations, get Reegar. Tell him to grab his kit and meet me on the Normandy. Get whatever you need as well, and have one of the aids bring my travel bag to the Normandy. It will just be the three of us though, you, me, and Reegar."

"At once, Mother. It will be good to directly interface with EDI again. I have missed her jokes, and learned several new ones to tell her."

"Reegar's coming huh? He's a good soldier, I'm sure I can find a use for him."

"He hasn't said anything, but I think he's as anxious for some ground action as I am. He's an excellent aid, but he and I are both people of action. All this sitting around and talking is driving us crazy."

"Says the woman who just personally saved the Citadel Council from an assassin and fought of a horde of Cerberus troops less than two days ago."

"Oh hush. Get your girlfriend to that clean room before she decides she's too tired and needs some rest."

"Next stop Normandy!"


	67. Chapter 60: Back Home

Chapter 60: Back Home

_Tali: I know it sounds strange after living on Rannoch for a few weeks, but being back on the Normandy felt like coming home._

_Unna: Considering how much time you spent on that ship, I'm not surprised. _

_Tali: It's more then that. On the Normandy, I was family. Everyone was family. _

"So," Joker commented as Tali stepped onto the Normandy's bridge," if you're some big shot ambassador now, does that mean you outrank Shepard? Because I'm pretty sure he qualifies as whipped already."

With out turning to face Tali, EDI asked, "Jeff, did you remember to get me those schematics I asked for on the Citadel?"

"Huh? Oh yeah, got them right here EDI, here you go. What? Why are the two of you laughing? What?"

It was good to be back on the Normandy. Tali had just got on, and already she felt relaxed.

"EDI, I see you found yourself a body. Was that just so you could control Joker better, or did you have something else in mind?"

"Control me? Hey, listen I fly this ship, and-"

"Jeff, you are watching that vid with me tonight, are you not?"

"Oh of course EDI, I picked out an asari romantic comedy too, I've heard its really funny and... And the two of you are making fun of me. Harsh. Pick on the cripple."

EDI's new mech form turned toward Tali. She had to admit, it was pretty, even if the solid grey was a little off putting. It was strange, a few years ago and Tali would have been up in arms about an unleashed AI with a combat mech. Now she was more concerned that EDI didn't understand how to look good.

"To answer your question Tali, my primary motivation for getting this body was to enhance my relationships with the crew and improve empathy. It also allows me to assist Shepard during away missions." Then EDI's face broke into a downright mischievous grin. "And it has given me a far greater degree of control over Jeff. We are dating."

Joker coughed slightly and managed to look embarrassed. "That ah, isn't going to be a problem is it Tali? I know how you feel about AI and-"

Just then, Works and Faith, two of the new embassies geth aids walked on board with Tali's small rucksack, along with her diplomatic communicator hub and a large brightly wrapped package. Faith stepped forward to speak "Mother, we have your belongings. On behalf of the collective, we would like to present you with a gift to commemorate your rejoining with your mate."

Almost hesitantly, Works held out the package. "This an acceptable way to show affection for an organic, is it not Mother?"

Gently taking the package, Tali touched her right hand to her vocalizer and put it on the two geth's flashlight, a quarian verion of a mothers kiss. "Yes it is, thank you very much. Should I open it?"

The two geth looked at each other. "We do not understand mother," Faith said. "What good would the gift do if you do not open it?"

"I will take that as a yes then." Tali tore open the package to find a brand new set of Elkoss Combine Master Engineer Precision Tools. Gently, she stroked their titanium alloy metal. A set like this cost a literal fortune. "Thank you both so much. How could you ever afford something like this?"

"The geth on the Keelah Se'lai pooled our pay. Collectively, it cost us only 2.7% of our weekly revenue to buy you a gift. According to the shops proprietor, this is well within acceptable parameters for giving ones Mother a sign of affection." Faith explained.

"Thank you both, I will think of all the geth whenever I use these."

The two geth inclined their heads, murmuring, "Jeebus Se'lai, Mother," and quietly left.

Tali turned back to Joker, who was staring at her open mouthed. "They are just so sweet! I felt bad when I had to tell them that only Lamentations could come with me, but they all seemed to accept it."

"Ok. Complete 180 on synthetics. Got it. You sure you're not dating a synthetic now?" Joker asked.

Sniffing, Tali took her new tools and bag and headed for engineering. "Don't be silly Joker, I wouldn't let go of John so easily."

One the elevator ride down the engineering, Tali felt almost giddy. She was going to be able to get her hands dirty again! Fix something, DO something! No one had let her fix anything in months, it was always "oh let me call engineering captain" or "I will do that for you Mother" or "maintenance will be here shortly ambassador." Didn't they know she was Tali'Zorah, the best damn mechanic and engineer in the entire fleet? Well, actually, maybe not, considering the fleet really didn't exist anymore.

The very first thing Tali did was check on the stealth drive. She was the only person down in engineering at the moment, which made sense since technically the Normandy was still docked. Most of the crew wouldn't be returning from shore leave for at least a few hours. Tali carefully examined the list of changes the Alliance techs had been making and clicked her tongue in disapproval. They had completely altered her custom power grid, even though one G. Adams and been ranting and raving to get them to keep her modifications. That brought a smile to Tali's lips, at least Adams was back on board, he was a pretty solid engineer himself.

In short order, Tali lost herself in making all the little modifications and changes that had been swirling around in her head ever since she left the Normandy. She could just see in her mind how to adjust the flow here, or how a few lines of code added or taken away would improve efficiency by a few precious percentile points. She was so lost in her own little world, then when someone asked if she needed any help, she just said, "Yes, hand me that plasma welder, and bring up the secondary power board so I can test to see if the patch took. Then get me a full diagnostic on the fusion plant, there was a wobble in the readings earlier and I want to see if I nailed it down."

"Oh it ma'am."

A few minutes later, Tali stood and wiped her hands on a grease rag while she studied her work. "Well I have to say, whoever has been maintaining this has done a good job of fixing whatever those bosh'tet yard dogs did to this poor ship. I mean Keelah, using a S3 series for the power converters? Those are all well and good on ships of this class with smaller drive cores, but you really need the sturdier S5's with the amount of draw the ship can do."

"I agree 100% ma'am, I've been replacing them as I can, but with as often as this ship goes into combat I've had a hard time getting to it with all the normal wear and tear that needs to be taken care of."

"Hmm, well, now that I'm here I think we can probably step that up, I'll get Laminations down here and it can-" Suddenly, Tali realized just who her assistant was, and who she had been talking to like this was her engineering deck. She spun, feeling like her face was on fire. "Oh Jeebus Adams! I am so sorry, here I am, acting like this is my ship when-"

Adams chuckled and put his hands out to stop Tali. "Easy there ma'am, I'm pretty sure not only do you outrank me now, but you've got way more hands on experience with this girl then me. She's pretty different then the SR2, and I'm still learning the ropes, even with five months in dry dock. That's just not the same as active stress tests."

"It's still your department, I really should be deferring to you."

"Uh-huh. Ma'am, I'm a First Lieutenant. I might, someday, if I am very lucky, make it to Commander, but that's another two grades. You are literally one of the most powerful and influential people in the entire galaxy. The turian Hierarchy, when it has a problem, comes and asks you to help them solve it. If the asari Republic has a diplomatic problem, they are going to call you. And you are a better engineer than I'll ever be. Remind me, why are you supposed to defer to me?"

"I, uh..."

"Keelah ma'am, just pull rank and tell this human what to do. He's obviously already part of your fan club. Maybe he can ask Blacky here for the T-Shirt." Reegar laughed, coming off the elevator with Lamentations.

"Geth do not need T-Shirts, Creator Kal'Reegar Major."

Adam's raised an eyebrow at Tali. "See, if you've got a Major as your aid, there is no way you can take orders from a Lieutenant. I'll have a talk with the commander, but while you're on the Normandy consider myself your department XO."

Tali slumped over, visibly upset. "You mean... I won't get to fix things?"

"Good God, of course you will! What, do you think I'm an idiot? I'm not turning my department over to you because I want you to do the paperwork, I'm doing it because you're the best damn engineer I've ever seen."

"Really? You mean it?" Tali almost cried, she was so happy. Finally, she could DO something!

"Of course I mean it. Just wait till Gabby and Ken come aboard, they should be back from leave any time now."

"Wow, sounds like we've got the best of the best in the Normandy's engineering."

"Damn right we do. Considering the missions were running, we're going to need it to. The Commander tell you yet about how we had to sneak in past the entire Reaper armada to get to Menae? I swear, I thought we were all going to cook alive before we got out of there, a Reaper literally passed, I shit you not, 10 kilometers off our port bow."

Tali and Adam's talked shop, while Reegar and Lamentations headed down to the cargo bay. A few minutes later, a rather loud series of crashes sounded from the bay, and Tali and Adams raced to the window. Tali watched as a human man, approximately the size of a krogan, charged Reegar. With a grunt and twist, Reegar managed to divert the man, sending him cart wheeling away as Reegar staggered to the side, clearly shaken by the charge.

"What are those- Ugh, bosh'tet!" Tali ranted, running over to the maintenance hatch and sliding down the ladder. She raced out just in time to see the massive human get Reegar in an arm lock and force him to the ground. Reegar wasn't out though, punching the humans left knee cap and forcing the man to his knees.

"Lamentations, help!" Tali called, running forward and punching the human square in the nose as hard as she could.

"Oww!" The man shouted, letting Reegar go and staggering back. "Wub da hebl wab dabt for?"

"You were assulting my aid, do it again and I'll sick Chakita or Lamentations on you!"

"Web wub dust danbcing." The human protested, holding his shirt to his nose, which was gushing a rather large amount of blood.

"Ugh, quarians 1, gorillas 0." Reegar moaned, climbing to his feet. "Really though ma'am, we were just sparing. Lieutenant Vega and I were just exchanging techniques. There was no need to break his nose."

"Dab wab a pretty gub hibt doe." Vega added, going over to a medical locker and giving himself a shot of medigel. "Ah, that's better. Damn Luchador, I didn't realize your CO was such a firecracker."

"Luchador?" Reegar asked.

Vega shrugged. "You seem like a pretty good fighter, and you've got that mask on, so Luchador. You know, masked wrestling?"

"Not at all, but I'll take it as a compliment. Ma'am, meet Lieutenant James Vega, he's the arms master on the Normandy, and he apparently thinks he's one tough son of a varren. Lieutenant, Ambassador Tali'Zorah."

"Ma'am, it's a pleasure to meet you," Vega stated, coming to attention and saluting Tali. "I've heard a lot about you from the Commander, I look forward to seeing you in action."

Tali returned the salute and nodded to Vega. "Glad to be aboard Lieutenant. Just don't abuse Reegar to much, the real enemy is still the Reapers."

"Hey, that's what the medigel is for." Vega declared, pointing over his shoulder to the locker he had just visited.

"Right. Lamentations, if these two get out of hand, you have my permission to put their noses in a corner until they learn better."

"Of course Mother. I will monitor all sparing matches to ensure no permanent harm comes to either. Both Vega Lieutenant and Creator Reegar Major should be aware that I am fully capable of inflicting tremendous pain without causing any physical damage."

"Is Smiley here always this much fun?" Vega asked Reegar, pointing to the prime.

"You will refer to me as Laminations. That is my name and my title. I lament the lost and the fallen. Do not dishonor them with slander."

"Ok, ok, that's just a mouthful. What about Lam?"

"That would be acceptable, as long as you remember what I am."

Tali made her way over to the elevator and went up to the crew deck. Things were certainly different on the Normandy now, that much was certain. When she went over to the mess hall though, she spied a familiar face in the medibay and changed course.

"Dr. Chakwas, it's good to see you again!" Tali called, coming over and giving the older woman a hug.

"Tali, I'm so glad you're here! We've all missed you, it just didn't really feel like the Normany without you."

"There's a lot of new faces here, but I'm glad you're on board doctor. You, me, Garrus, Joker, Shepard... It's been a long ride hasn't it? These past three years, the Normandy has become more of my home then anywhere else. Even Rannoch, believe it or not."

Chakwas nodded. "Yes, I understand. Especially now that..." The doctor trailed off, and her eyes grew watery.

"Hey, it's gonna be alright," Tali assured her friend. "Jeebus told me we've already won. And I believe him."

The doctor nodded. "I know it's terribly unscientific of me, but I'm afraid that's more comforting then any projections I've heard. I've converted as well, though not to Catholicism. Shepard's even made it a requirement to remain on the crew. Find God, or get off, for your own safety. After seeing what the Collectors did to anyone who didn't have God on their side... Well, let's just say I've buried to many friends and had to many nightmares to doubt his power now."

"What about the good things though? The peace? Some nights, all it takes is one prayer, others a lot more then that, but when I pray to Jeebus, the nightmares go away."

"There's that too. The comfort and security, something I never thought I would find again when the Collectors took me. But it turns out the prayers of a young girl decades ago had just enough power to keep me safe. I've said a lot more of them recently."

The door hissed open, and Liara stepped in with her eyes glued to a data slate. "Dr. Chakwas, I was wondering if I could borrow your expertise for a bit, I have images of wounds inflicted by a new strain of reaped and-"

"Nice to see you again, Shadow Broker." Tali snarked, planting herself in front of Liara's progress.

Liara finally glanced up, and a tired grim spread over her face. "Tali, it's good to have you back. Goddess, what am I doing, come here." Liara set her data slate down and gave Tali a tight squeeze.

"I won't interupt your work, in fact I really should go see if my terminal has been installed up in John's cabin, plenty of diplomatic work to get done."

Liara nodded. "Of course. It's strange you know, when we started out, I was a young, inexperienced archaeologist, and you were a pilgrim out from home from the first time. Now look at us. Two of the most powerful and influential women in the galaxy. I wonder, how would our lives have changed if we never served on the Normandy?"

"I wouldn't have learned how to forgive, I know that much. I'd probably have died in orbit over Rannoch, foolishly trying to destroy the geth instead of saving them and my people."

"And I never would have discovered the Cruicible. Thank your Admiral Xen and Tubal-cain or me, they have been very helpful."

"Will do." Tali agreed, and headed back to the mess to grab a tube of nutrient paste.

"Damn, looks like I've got to share now." Garrus laughed from his seat at the table. "Join me for a quick bite?"

"Sorry, I have to catch up on my Ambassadorial duties."

"Ugh, don't remind me. I just finished an enormous threat assessment for the primarch. Being responsible sucks."

"Ah, the good old days. When I was as free as the dust in the solar wind..."

"Hey, use that line on Shepard, not me. He's already seen your face, though I seriously doubt it's been in the moonlight."

Tali came to a stop and slowly turned to face Garrus. "Does the metal in your head prevent happy thoughts from getting through?"

"Sometimes, but when it does, I always think, 'What would the skipper do?' And then I remember the skipper is a one eyed insane krogan, and do the exact opposite."

"Keelah Garrus, I never pegged you for a Fleet and Flotilla fan!"

The turian splayed his mandibles in a dismissive gesture. "Hey, what can I say, those space battle sequences were pretty awesome, and Minimus was hilarious."

"So you didn't watch it for the cross species romances."

"Sorry, no. Though Shalei did have supportive hips, when I was a teenager I was more than ready for a round of reach and flexibility with her."

"Then it's settled. After we make the new guys watch Princess Bride, they have to watch Fleet and Flotilla."

"Mordin would call that plan Inconceivable, you know." Garrus suddenly flinched and looked away. "And now it's not funny anymore. Damn. Still can't believe he's gone. Him, the Primarchs son, my entire anti-Reaper task force... To many."

"That's why we fight. So no more have to die."

Garrus nodded and stood. "Speaking of fighting, I better go finish calibrating those guns before we take off again. It is good to have you aboard Tali, if for no other reason then I have an excuse to requisition more rations."

"Bosh'tet." Tali joked, then made her way up to the cabin.

She quickly lost herself in the paperwork, colonies that needed evacuating, a formalized treaty between the krogan and the quarians that needed her signature before it could be forwarded to the king, and a dozen leads on potential allies, including one message that caught her eye.

"Reaper forces seem to be targeting the Kyzil system." She read in the report. "For unknown reasons, they continue to send troops and ship to the vorcha homeworld. In an unexplained phenomenon, Reaper ships have been seen retreating from the system with heavy damage. There appear to be no active forces on Heshok other then the vorcha, who lately have become increasingly insular and self contained. The reason for this seems to be a civil war on their homeworld, Heshtok. How the vorcha are able to simultaneously fight a civil war and hold off the Reapers is unaccounted for. No scouting parties have been able to penetrate into the Heshok system, due to the amount of Reaper activity."

Just then, John came into the cabin. "We're heading out, making for Eden Prime."

"Hmm, I've got some data here that might interest you, John."

Coming over and taking the data slate, John frowned as he read. "The vorcha are holding off the Reapers? Any ideas on how?"

"No, none, not even our stealth ships have been able to get through. We don't have anything as advanced as the Normandy yet. The geth are working on upgrading our existing ships, but that project will take months."

"I see. Well, we're going to have to check this out after Eden Prime. Shouldn't take long, Eden Prime is right by the Relay, and it's only about a week's jump out to Kyzil from the Relay according to my nav charts."

"What could the vorcha be doing that's holding off the Reapers?" Tali wondered aloud. "They're primitives, they don't have the tech to even form their own fleet."

"Who knows? Maybe they got lucky. Maybe the Reapers walked all over them and are now trying to Indoctrinate them. Vorcha are pretty tough in a land war."

"But that won't do anything for them against Indoctrination."

John shrugged. "Maybe they have their own Religions. No one's ever really bothered to find out."

"True enough. Speaking of which, the quarian people are adapting well to our new religions. A good portion have converted to follow Jeebus, about 15% by the geths last count. A few have picked up Athameism, but most have returned to Ancestor worship or The Goddess of the Garden. There aren't very many atheists or agnostics left, not after a single Reaper with a powerful booster almost took out the entire fleet."

John grunted. "Yeah, not many people left alive on Earth in that boat either, I imagine. It's looking like everyone is going to have to pick a side, because if you don't, the Reapers pick one for you. Did you know, the new Pope, who you know personally by the way, has declared them to be the physical manifestation of Satan?"

"Isn't that like the bad guy in the Bible? Isn't that the one who tried to tempt Jeebus by turning rocks into bread or something? And what's a pope, and how do I know it?"

"Yeah, that's Satan. Basically the evil spirit that God kicked out of heaven at one point. Could be the Reapers, I don't know. And believe it our not, the new Pope, David I, is Gola's friend, Father O'Malley. They're calling him the Battle Pope, he didn't just serve with the N program as chaplain, he apparently did enough training to qualify as an N3. He's been an active participant in two assults on Reapers that actually attacked and killed two of them. They were Destroyers, the little ones, but still, that's not bad. Admiral Anderson has spoken very highly of him. Says that he's the only thing keeping moral up some days, and the reason that three quarters of the resistance on Earth hasn't been indoctrinated yet."

"Really? That's incredible, it seems like everyone you meet ends up becoming famous somehow John."

"Me? What about you Tali? You met him too, and his assistant, Father Penelope. Remember Daddy P? She's strapped on a hard suit and led attacks on Reaper facilities too. You've killed a Reaper almost by yourself too, so you know how hard that is."

"No kidding. But let's focus on the task at hand. What intel do you have on Eden Prime?"

"Well, there's supposed to be some sort of prothean artifact there, could be useful on the Crucible. They found the artifact at the same place as the beacon, but it's not quite as old."

"That does sound promising, that beacon was what kicked this whole thing off, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, I guess it was. Back to where it all began. With the people who I began it with by my side. I wouldn't have it any other way."

After that, Tali forgot about her paperwork for a while as she cuddled with John on the bed. Neither of them really felt like trooping down to the cargo bay to access the clean room, they had got that out of their system the night before, but it was nice to be together again. Somehow, when she was with John, Tali really did feel like they had won already. That somehow, someway, they could win this.

_Unna: Back to where it all began. That was your first time on Eden Prime though wasn't it?_

_Tali: Yes, for me the war with the Reapers began elsewhere. But it entered into its final stage on Eden Prime as well. _


	68. Chapter 61

**Chapter 61: Back to the Beginning**

_Tali: Eden Prime. I wonder, what would the galaxy have been like if its secrets remained buried? Would things have turned out better, or worse? _

_Unna: I wouldn't know. Your the religious type, don't you believe all things happen for a reason?_

_Tali: All things do happen for a reason Unna. The question is, who's reason is it? _

"Eden Prime. Damn. That brings back memories. Ash, Jenkins, seeing reaped for the first time." Kaiden mused as he looked out the lounge viewport at the rapidly approaching planet.

"I've never been there, what was it like?" Tali asked, leaning toward the glass herself.

"Well, when I was there, hell on Earth pretty much. Considering the geth are on our side this time, it should go significantly better."

"I do apologize or the death of your team mate. I was not... myself at that time." Lamentations rumbled.

Kaiden turned and glanced at the black prime, who crouched near the doorway. "You were on Eden Prime?"

"Yes and no. Yes, some of the programs that would eventually become me where there. No, I, Lamentations, was not. I did not truly come into being until I met Mother, and I was not born again until I was touched by the Creator Deity. The person you see before you now is very, very different from the one back then. Still, I must beg forgiveness for my own sins and the sins of my brothers. I do not remember Jenkins clearly, other than some brief images stored by the drones that shot him down. But I still feel responsible."

Kaiden approached the black prime and held out his hand. "Consider yourself forgiven. As your creator deity said, 'Repay no one evil for evil, but overcome evil with good.'"

Lamentations took the proffered hand in his own massive grasp and gently shook it. "That is a slight misquote. Romans 12-17-21 reads,' Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, 'Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.' To the contrary, 'if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.' Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.'"

"Heh, I should know better than to try and bandy scripture with a true believer, and one that has the entire Bible on his hard drive no less." Kaiden laughed.

"You don't believe in Jeebus?" Tali asked, concerned for her friend.

"Oh, I believe in him, at least that he was a wise teacher, or maybe a form of the Buddha. I'm Buddhist myself. So far, so good, it's held off at least one probe by the Reapers I think."

Tali relaxed slightly, to her mind, anyone that didn't have some sort of protection was a liability, as much as she might like them personally.

"You would be wise to reject those false teachings and put your faith in the Creator Deity alone, Alekno Commander." Lamentations asserted. "Weak spirits may protect you in the short term, but they cannot safeguard your soul forever."

"We're going to have to agree to disagree on that one." Kaiden answered with a shrug.

"Very well. But I shall pray for you."

"And I for you. Hopefully we'll keep each other safe."

Lamentations held it's peace, but Tali could tell from a slight twitch in its head petals it wasn't quite happy with the conversations outcome. Tali was more than a little shocked it had even spoken up, none of the other geth had ever tried to actively convert anyone, even if the entire collective had put its faith in Jeebus, with a few rare exceptions.

The speakers chimed before the situation could get any more awkward. "That's the signal for me," Tali said, heading for the door. On the way out, she put her hand on Lamentations head petals and stroked them gently. "I'm sorry you can't come, but John wants me, Kaiden and Liara on this one. There just isn't room for you."

"I shall pray for you, Mother. And stand by to drop from orbit should the need arise."

Tali and Kaiden made their way down to the shuttle, both of them already had their gear and were ready for the ground mission.

"So, I see you took that whole forgiving your enemies thing literally." Kaiden remarked. "You know, if you had said anything else to me, I probably would have tried to kill you. Which would likely have ended badly for me. Say what you want about Lamentations, but I get the feeling that he loves his mother. Anyone who messes with you has to have a death wish."

"Those indoctrinated batarians certainly seemed too." Tali agreed.

When Kaiden raised an eyebrow at her, Tali explained, "They tried to assassinate me my first night on the Citadel. Lamentations was inside my room, he killed them all before I even realized what was happening. The only reason he doesn't insist on staying up in John's cabin is that I agreed to put a monitoring program on my suit, and EDI provides him with 24 hour surveillance."

"Wow. Remind me not to complain about the lack of privacy aboard ship ever again."

Once they were at the shuttle, Tali grabbed an extra handful of thermal clips. After running about taking down indoctrinated geth aboard the Keelah Se'lai, she always moded her weapons for extra shots and carried a few more clips. She wasn't the only one, Liara had told her about being on Mars on the run from Cerberus and her own weapons going dry, and Tali had helped the asari by modding her own weapons for extra capacity. She nodded at Liara when she saw her pocketing a few extra clips of her own, and the asari grinned back. Neither of them wanted to relieve being without a weapon again anytime soon.

John came up behind her and put his arms around her, and Tali enjoyed his presence for a brief moment.

"It feels good to have you back."

"Mmm. It's good to be back on the Normandy."

"You know," John teased, "if it's too quite where you're at, maybe I can found you someplace louder."

"Hmmm." Tali giggled.

Vega was walking by just then, and glanced between the two. "Is there something I need to know about?"

"Shepard and Tali became physically intimate during the fight against the collectors." EDI's voice explained from the comms. Everyone else rolled their eyes, but Vega looked embarrassed.

"Woah. Too much information EDI!" He declared. "What Sparks and the Commander do in their off time is their own business."

"Sparks?" Tali asked.

"Um, well you got those lights in your eyes." Vega explained.

Tali crossed her arms across her chest and stared at him.

"Um, and you're kinda jumpy and energetic." Vega offered. He glanced around sheepishly at the stares of the squad. "It just sorta came out."

"I... See." Tali shrugged and boarded the shuttle.

"Have fun storming the Castle Kids." EDI's chipper voice called from the cargo bay.

"Huh?" Kaiden glanced around and the goofy grins John and Liara were sporting. "Did I miss something?"

"New Normandy tradition Kaiden." Liara explained. "You're going to have to watch that vid as well."

"Focus up people," John ordered.

He didn't have to say anything more, and in a few minutes the shuttle was touching down. Like the honed weapons they were, Shepard's squad fell into their normal roles. Tali had point with her shot gun, with John right behind her. Liara was in the middle, and Kaiden took the rear, his barrier active to take any shots.

"Keep your eyes peeled for any intel on what Cerberus might be up to here." John ordered as the approached the hab shelters.

"A prothean dig site. Now this brings back memories." Liara murmured as they carefully stormed the buildings.

"So, Liara, did you ever find any dinosaurs while you were digging?" Kaiden teased.

John looked at Tali and rolled his eyes, she winked at him in turn.

"Actually, I was a xenological archaeologist, which means I only focused on recovering the remains of intelligent species such as the protheans. Dinosaurs would have been only found on Earth, and would fall under the purvey of paleontology." At this point, Liara noticed that they had stopped advancing, and that both Tali and Kaiden were shaking with silent laughter. "And you are making fun of me."

"Oh, no!" Kaiden answered, not bothering to hide his huge grin.

"Maybe a little." Tali answered.

John shook his head. "Come on people, this is a warzone."

Kainden nodded, but answered, "I know Commander, but come on. This is Cerberus. If they uncovered something, it probably already went crazy and tried to kill them."

"They were pretty competent on the Citadel." Tali pointed out.

"That's right. And we're professionals no more jokes, come on."

They scoured the buildings for any signs of what the dig team had been after.

"Hey, look at this," Kaiden called, holding up a data slate. "Looks like Cerberus is taking colonists and indoctrinating them."

Taking the slate and looking it over, John nodded. "Hmm. That matches up with that slate I found earlier mentioning their troop deployment. They seem to be short staffed, losing as many men as they did on the citadel hurt them. Combined with in ID on that mole we found earlier, this should give the resistance the help they need."

"Shepard, take a look at this." Liara said, poking her head around a corner. "I think it's prothean, but I can't make any sense of it. Maybe you can, with the Cipher."

"I'll take a look." John agreed.

Tali took an overwatch position by the door as John leaned over a screen full of static. He stood, staring at it for a few moments, then stood and shook his head.

"My God. It's not a relic that they found. No wonder Cerberus is so interested."

"What did you see?" Liara prompted. "It just looked like static to us."

"I saw the fall of Eden Prime when it was a prothean colony, thousands of years ago. They tried to bury an army here, but something went wrong. I think what they found is a survivor though."

"A real, living prothean? That would be something." Kaiden agreed.

Before Tali could weigh in, the sound of shuttles filled the air. "Cerberus." She growled.

"Alright, let's do it people!"

They took up positions on the windows as Cerberus squads closed. Spying an engineer setting up a turret behind the enemy lines, Tali montioned for John to aim elsewhere. "Hold on, I have a plan."

Once the engineer finished setting up the turret, Tali motioned for John to take out the engineer. With two shots from his Black Widow, John felled the engineer. Acting fast, Tali hacked the turret, switching its IFF markers. Immediatly, it opened up on the advancing line of Cerberus Guardians, mowing down two before they could respond. Caught between friendly fire and Shepard's squad, the Guardians went down hard. A Centurian finally managed to disable the turret, but it was too late. Liara and Kaiden detonated a biotic explosion, catching the remaining enemies within it's blast.

"We've got to hurry, the prothean is this way." John ordered.

They raced over to the capsule, which Liara knelt by and tried to discern how to open.

"Goddess, he's still alive, but weak. I don't think I can open this on my own, Shepard, do you know how?"

"Let me see." John knelt by the capsule, and after a moment he nodded. "I can open it, I saw in the video, but it's going to take a few minutes for it to warm up, and I'm going to have to keep putting in commands to see to it that our prothean friend here makes it out."

"Understood, we'll cover for you." Kaiden stated as John set to work opening the sleeper pod.

More shuttles screamed in, and smoke bombs filled the couryard. "Be ready." She warned.

A dull, echoing thud sounded, and Tali winced. Atlas.

Cerberus troops rushed out of the fog, firing as they went. Tali stood and fired, then ducked down when a high pitched whine warned her there was a nemesis about.

"Kaiden, do you see the sniper?" She asked, peaking around her own cover.

"Wait... I've got her, but she's advancing behind that Atlas."

"Bosh'tet!" Tali swore, standing up to hack the Atlas's shields. She didn't do much more then damage them before she had to roll away as a missile streaked in and destroyed her cover.

"Kaiden, now!" Liara shouted, launching a singularity.

He caught on, and as soon as the singularity formed Kaiden launched a warp into it, causing a massive explosion and staggering the Atlas and damaging it's glass canopy. Both of them were forced back into cover though, as Centurions and Troopers opened up on the two biotics.

"My turn!" Tali crowed, running forward and blasting down two troopers. She vaulted onto the Atlas, using the butt of her shotgun to shatter the already cracked canopy. The pilot tried to draw a sidearm to shoot her, but Tali stabbed him with her knife and tossed him out of the now empty cockpit. Sliding into the controls, Tali turned the mechs firepower on the Cerberus troops, stomping the Nemesis flat and launching a missile into another unit of guardians. The tide was now turned, and Liara and Kaiden broke cover and advanced to support Tali, taking two Centurions and their squads with a combination of biotics and shots from their submachine guns.

Another shuttle roared in, but before it could unload, Tali fired a missile and two cannon blasts at it, knocking the Cerberus vessel out of the sky.

"Alright, pod is cracking, good work people!" John called. "And damn but that was sexy Tali! Hijacking an Atlas... Allers is going to love that footage. Ambadassador Tali'Zorah."

Leaping out of the Atlas, Tali ran over and crowded around the pod with everyone else. Slowly, the lid slid open, reveaing a green skined, four eyed alien.

"Looks like one of the collectors," She observed.

At the sound of her voice, the protheans eyes snapped open. An invisible force seemed to brush against Tali, and she staggered back. _Jeebus said I was safe..._ She reminded herself, and she stood strong along with John. Kaiden, however, was not so lucky, being struck down as if by an invisible force, and Liara staggered back herself, crying out in pain.

"You son of a bitch!" John snarled, and seized the prothean by its strange armor, hauling it upright. One of the protheans hands reached out and touched Shepard, and for a moment the two froze, glowing with green energy.

"Get off of him!" Tali screamed, slamming the butt of her shotgun into the prothean and knocking him away.

"How do you resist me, primative?" The prothean demanded, standing up right.

"You can talk?" Tali asked, leveling her gun at him.

"Of course I can talk. Now tell me, how can you resist me? I was only able to percieve your language from this... monkey. The other monkey put a feeble resistance, which I over came, but even the asari was able to block my influence. I demand to know how ones such as you could resist the Avatar of Vengeance."

"I don't resist you, Jeebus does." Tali answered. "Now you tell me. What did you do to John?"

"It's fine Tali." Shepard gasped, staggering over and putting his hand on Tali's weapon. "He's just jumpy. Relax Javik, we're all fighting the same enemy here. We need your help, the Reapers have returned."

"Then this cycle is already lost." Javik answered dismissively. "I must return to my rest and await another cycle."

Staggering over, Liara shook her head. "No, we can win this. We've already started work on the Crucible, and Shepard has united most of the species. Not to mention sending off his little religious crusade. Even I got caught up in the affects of that."

"The Crucible? A religious Crusade? You primitives are strange. In my time, we focused all of our efforts on one thing or another. We either put our faith in the gods, or in ourselves."

"Let's argue about this later. For now, we need to get out of here before more Cerberus troops come back." John stated, putting his hand to his ear. "Cortez, we need extraction, now. We've secured the precious cargo."

"Cerberus? I take it that is your primative name for the worshipers of the Reapers?" Javik demanded, glancing over at the corpses scattered near the platform. "I could sense their corruption, but it was... Strange. As if they worshiped another power."

"Debate theology later, live now!" Tali shouted as the shuttle came in. More Cerberus troops had to be on the way, and Tali didn't feel like sticking around for another round of fun with Atlas's.

Javik climbed aboard the shuttle, glancing at the seats and shaking his head.

"Woah, what the hell is that?" Cortez, the pilot asked.

"What, do you not know your betters when you see them, human? I am prothean."

Cortez shook his head and turned back to his controls. "Sound more like arrogant."

"It is only arrogance if falsely presumed." Javik stated, sitting down on a bench. "So, Commander, tell me. What is the status of this cycle? You blocked most of my readings, but from your technology I assume it is still far below what the empire achieved."

"We make do." John answered, sitting across from Javik. "Though I am hoping you can provide us with a few insights on those beam rifles and other weapons I saw in those vids."

Liara interupted before the prothean could answer, her eyes glowing with excitement. "What about your culture? What sort of architecture did you use? Your religions, your philosophers, your art! All of those could provide key insights into the construction of the crucible."

"You ask about art, about religion and culture? Those are foolish notions, one that I do not have time for. My art is war, my religion is death, and my culture is vengeance. Whatever shining ideal you seem to have in your primitive mind, disregard them. You ask these questions because you think the Reapers can be defeated with your honor intact. I tell you this, when you stand on the grave a million dead worlds and a trillion dead souls, ask them about art, about religion, about honor. Their silence is your answer."

Tali found herself edging away from this prothean. Something about him seemed wrong. Every time he spoke, her sink crawled, and bile rose in her throat.

"John," Tali whispered on a private channel, "something is wrong here. He looks like you would think a prothean would, but he feels wrong. Almost like a Reaper does."

"You're right, but he could still be useful. Think of the insights he has to offer."

"I'm more worried about the dangers. Look at how that thing is treating Liara! She was ready to worship the ground he walked on, and now's going on about how primitive the asari are and how the protheans deceived them into thinking they were messengers from the Goddess. She's about ready to cry."

Liara really was on the verge of tears, as her continued questions and comments about the asari were only drawing further venom from Javik. "So, the primative asari claim to be the most advanced race in the galaxy? Then tell me, why do you seem to follow the lead of this human? Why have the Reapers returned? You claim to be building the Cruicible, yet do you even know what that it does? What it is?"

"Well then perhaps you can explain it to me!" Liara declared in exasperation, throwing up her hands.

Javik let out a low, evil laugh. "It is something my people found as well, but never completed. It was decided to focus on other, more effective projects. The Crucible is the mad dream of a dozen cycles, a gift from a mad god who has long lost interest in its children."

"What do you mean, a gift from a mad god?" Tali demanded.

"Why, the so-called creator. The Inusannon's records claimed it was given to them by past races, also working on some plan of the creator god. But he proved weak and useless, unwilling to directly interfere. So the protheans cast off the shackles of other gods, and created the Avatars. We decided our own destiny."

On that rather disturbing thought, the shuttle docked with the Normandy and Tali scrambled out, trying to figure out what to do. Kelly was waiting for her, and waved excitedly.

Javik was the next off, but as soon as he and Kelly saw each other, a cry of rage escaped the protheans lips, and Kelly suddenly glowed with biotic fury. The two rushed forward and slammed into each other, causing Tali to be knocked off her feet and the entire ship to shudder. The two opponents grappled with one another, Javik glowing with green fury, Kelly with pink anger. The grapple was broken when Lamentations came charging out from behind a crate and slammed Javik into the ground, pointing its plasma cannon at Javik's head.

"I tolerate the spirit-woman because Mother is her friend. I accept the follower of weak spirits because he has been mothers comrade. But a self made god? Explain to me why I should not crush you now."

Tali herself wasn't quite certain why Lamentations shouldn't pulp the prothean, but John stormed out of the shuttle and pointed at Lamentations. "Hold him there for a minute. If he acts agressive, shoot him in the head." Then John turned to Kelly, clearly pissed off. "What the hell did you just do Ms. Chambers? And there had better be a damn good reason you just kicked off Biotic Throwdown 2183 in the hold of my ship."

**"He's an aberration! An abomination!"** A voice that sounded nothing like Kelly's own raged**. "He and his kind betrayed us, rejected us, left us to die! And now to return, as if it is his right! We will submit to your authority, as will our vassal, Shepard of the Lost, but you must see this creature for what he is!" **

John walked over and looked the Kelly-thing right in the eye. "Let. Her. Go."

Slumping to the floor, Kelly panted heavily, then slowly stood. "Sorry, Shepard, they were so angry, I just let them take over. I know what that... Thing... is. He's an Avatar of the Protheans."

"So I've heard. Explain to me what that means."

"He's like me in some ways, but different in others. He wields massive spiritual power, but he does not receive it from a higher power. He took it, from his own people. As the protheans died, their souls were trapped in shards and funneled into Avatars. He is the Avatar of Vengence, the voice of a dead people, the last of the protheans false gods."

"I'd be careful throwing that term around if I were you, Ms. Chambers. Some people might consider those YOU follow to be false gods. But I'm not here to judge. Are you going to be able to keep the peace, or do I need to relieve you from duty?"

Kelly looked about ready to protest, then steadied herself. "I'll follow your lead. As will the gods. They consider you to be our best hope."

"That's good." John turned to Javik now, who was grining wickedly at Lamentations.

"A synthetic? One that claims to serve the false-creator? This is too rich. I knew you primatives were weak minded, but to have one such as this in your midst?"

Lamentations pressed its canon to Javiks head hard enough to force him into silence. "Give me a reason. The only reason you yet draw breath is that Mother's mate seems to want you to live. The only reason."

"And the only reason I'm willing to let you live is that I need all the allies I can get." John squatted next to Javik, frowning down at the Prothean. "I don't care how you got your powers, and as long as whatever you serve is willing to fight the Reapers, we can be allies. Are you willing to let old grudges go to see your people avenged? Because that's the only reason I'll let you live. If you live to kill the Reapers."

"Then we see eye to eye on something, at least. The only reason worth living is to see my people avenges. I cannot do this if your possesed robot kills me. I will swear to follow you in exchange for vengeance. After that, we will see."

"Alright. Lamentations, let him up."

Lamentations didn't move, its gun still pointed at Javik. "Mother?"

"Let him up. Jeebus would have us forgive our enemies, right?"

For a moment, Tali though Lamentations was going to disobey her and kill Javik anyway. Slowly, the geth removed it's weapon and stood. "As you wish, Mother. But I fear this is a mistake."

Tali didn't say it, but she agreed with Lamentations. What sort of new trials did Jeebus have for her now, and why did telling Lamentations to let the prothean live make her feel sick to her stomach?

_Oh Jeebus, grant me strength. Show me what to do. _

_Trust me._

_Unna: Doesn't that ever get old?_

_Tali: Doesn't what ever get old?_

_Unna: The "trust me" bits. Doesn't it get on your nerves? _

_Tali: Unna, it's a relationship. Just like I had to trust my husband or friends, so I have to trust God. You just have to remember, there is one problem with God. He thinks He is God._

Authors note: Happy mothers day!


	69. Chapter 62: Trust Me

Chapter 62: Trust Me

_Unna'Koris: Having a literal god on the Normandy, I wonder, what must have it been like?_

_Tali'Zorah: Disturbing. Javik was an old, angry god that was only interested in blood, a far cry from those we were now used to. And perhaps, that should have been our first warning._

The Normandy felt like a warzone. Admittedly, the entire galaxy was more or less a warzone now, but Tali had thought the one place she could always find peace would be the Normandy. However, ever since picking up Javik, the air had practically crackled with hostility between Lamentations, Kelly and Javik. Everyone else was picking up on it, and the general atmosphere was tense and claustrophobic. Deciding to play her role as ambassador, Tali cornered Lamentations behind the shuttle.

"What are you doing?" she hissed at the black prime. "Why are you so upset by Javik being here? Why do you all of a sudden have a problem with Kelly and Kaiden? I thought the geth were all about self determination and free will, but you preached at Kaiden and threatened Kelly and Javik for their beliefs! What is going on?"

Lamentations was silent for a moment, then crouched down next to Tali, leaning back on his haunches. "I have been irrational lately. It is... difficult. I do not experience stress as an organic does, but within my programming, I can become... conflicted."

"Conflicted? Explain what you mean, exactly, because you've been stomping around like a krogan with a sore tooth."

"I have several core directives, each of which normally do not conflict with one another. The first is to serve the Creator Deity. The second is to keep you safe. The third is to serve the Kingdom of Rannoch and the geth collective. The fourth is to ensure the safety of the crew members of the Normandy. After that are various self preservation routines and other basic functions."

"I don't understand how any of those would conflict with one another."

"Then I will explain. The Creator Deity gives all Its servants a directive to bring the Truth to all peoples, does it not? **'**Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.' Matthew 28:19-20."

Tali wracked her brains, but couldn't remember ever reading that verse, so she looked it up on her omnitool. "Ok, yes, Jeebus did say that."

"And has not the Creator Deity proven to be the most potent defense against the Reapers?"

"That's true, but Jeebus isn't the only defense."

"Perhaps, but by far the most effective one. Even the spirit-woman recognized this."

"You mean Kelly? She did mention something about that."

"Correct. There is but one true Deity. The other so called deities may be strong compared to an individual old machine or even to us, but they are nothing before the Creator Deity."

"Well yes, naturally, but I still don't see how that leads to you acting like you want to kill Kelly and Javik. Javik may be a bosh'tet, but he has agreed to help fight the Reapers. And Kelly has never been anything but a friend to me."

"Let me finish, Mother. If your companions have subpar defenses, and if, as happened last mission, I cannot be there to guard you, you are relying on non-optimal companions. This presents a clear danger to you, and also violates my directive to serve the Creator Deity because your companions are not in consensus with It."

When Lamentations explained it that way, Tali could understand why it would be upset, and would even attempt to convince others to follow Jeebus. "But then, why haven't you talked to Liara? She doesn't follow Jeebus, and she went on the mission with me."

The prime's head petals folded back in a confused expression. "But Mother, Liara does follow the Creator Deity."

"What are you talking about? She believes in the asari Goddess, Athame. That's not Jeebus."

"It is Jeebus. I thought you knew this. Athame and Jeebus are both the Creator Deity."

"Lamentations, talk sense. How can a human God and an asari Goddess be the same person?"

"When you perceive the Creator Deity, do you perceive a human?"

"Well, no I see a quarian. I guess that's because I'm a quarian. John sees a human, I know that."

"And I perceive a perfect geth. What do you think an asari would see?"

"Well, an asari, I guess."

"And do you think the Creator Deity so cruel as to show Itself to the humans, but not to any other race?"

"I, um, I didn't think about that."

"Mother, the Creator Deity has revealed itself to all races. To the asari, It is Athame. To the humans, It is Jesus. To the creators, It is Jeebus. To the geth, the Creator Deity, whose name cannot be adequately expressed in organic language. Once, the creators worshiped the creator deity and had their own name for It. But that name was lost when the creators turned to other, weaker spirits. This happened about the time the creators joined the Citadel."

A chill ran down Tali's spine. "You mean... something about the Relays, the Citadel, Reaper tech in general..."

"Yes. Something is causing races to forsake the Creator Deity. The humans have not been on the Council long enough to truly feel the effects, whatever they may be. For some reason, the asari resisted. How, I do not know, but those that worship the Creator Deity among their number have shrunk. This is a problem the Collective seeks a solution too. We have not told any other creator of this. I tell you this in trust, Mother, knowing that you are a true Servant of the Creator Deity and would never betray It or the geth."

That was a heavy burden to bear, but Tali nodded. "Thank you, Lamentations. But you do need to be a bit more diplomatic." A sudden check in her heart caused Tali to stop. "No, wait, that's not the right word. You need to treat the others as you wish to be treated, like Jeebus said. Don't go around rubbing their faces in the fact that they are wrong. Don't go around telling them Jeebus is superior. Show it. If they know about Jeebus, it's up to Him to change their hearts. I know it's hard, but I think you even should apologize to Javik, Kaiden and Kelly. Not because you were wrong, but because you treated them wrongly."

"Mother, truly you deserve your title. You speak the words of the Creator Deity. I shall go and ask forgiveness now. Thank you." With that, Lamentations rose to do just that, walking softer then it had since Javik came aboard.

Just as Tali was relaxing, a blue orb popped up next to her. "Tali, I would like to speak with you. Will you meet me in the starboard lounge?"

"Can't you talk to me from where you're at?" Tali asked, confused.

"Yes, I could, but I have found most crew members prefer face to face contact."

Folding her arms under her breasts, Tali took an impatient stance, deliberately turning away from the blue orb. "EDI, you're an AI. I'm Mother to a couple billion AI. I think I can handle talking to you where ever you are at."

"Still, I would prefer the face to face contact. It is more intimate."

"Alright, I'll head right there." Tali took her time getting to the starboard lounge, trying to figure out just what EDI wanted to talk about. It was obvious she had overheard what Tali had told Lamentations, but how that related to EDI Tali wasn't sure.

When Tali arrived, EDI was already sitting on the couch, and motioned for Tali to join her. "Please, sit. I want this to be a comfortable discussion."

Taking a seat, Tali leaned back sighed. "Alright EDI, what is it? I assume you didn't ask me up here to give you dating advice with Joker."

"While that is a topic I would like to discuss with you, I am more interested in something else. Specifically, religion."

"Why ask me? Kelly's a priestess, John's known Jeebus a lot longer than me, Kaidan's the philosopher and Javik has, ah, his own insights."

"And none of them have ever brought religion to synthetics. None of them really understand what it means to be a machine."

"Well then, ask Lamentations. It could put things in synthetic terms better than I ever could, and it seems a lot more interested in proselytizing then I am."

"I think your statement sums up why I chose you. I am not looking for someone who wishes to alter my programming, however good their reasons are. You also respect the fact that I am not an organic. And, you have changed. When you first came aboard, you were openly hostile to me. But as time went on, you become much more open and accepting. This happened at about the same time you decided to follow Jesus, and while I do not wish to fall into a correlation/causation fallacy, that data cannot be ignored. A far different woman came aboard the Normandy than left it, and the woman who came back is even more dramatically different still."

"I'm still not sure what you are asking, EDI. I have changed, and Jeebus is responsible for most of that, at least the good parts. I won't lie, if I had been able to kill you when I first came on board the SR2, I would have done it. Now though, I understand that synthetics are not inherently evil, at least not any more than organics are. We all have the potential for good or evil, it's who we choose to follow that makes the difference."

"That, Tali, is the heart of my question. Why should I choose to follow Jeebus over other gods? Data suggests that Jeebus is a strong god, but so are the drell gods and the spirits Kaiden follows. Specialist Traynor is a Hindu, and she has also not been bothered by the Reapers. However, Lieutenant Vega, who is Catholic, has struggled with indoctrination on Manae. So, empirically, your god does not seem to offer superior protection than any other."

"I would disagree with that, but I don't really want to attack anyone else's religion, and what you say is true. Jeebus is not the only way to be protected from Indoctrination. To answer your first question though, you should choose Jeebus because he loves you. Kelly's gods just seem to want to use her and see her as nothing but a tool. Whatever kind of spiritual power Javik has, it doesn't seem to be the kind I would ever want to follow. Kaiden is nice, but his religion seems to be very focused on personal enlightenment and fulfillment, and having to earn your own salvation.

"Jeebus is different," Tali continued. "He doesn't want to use you. In fact, if you say no to Him, He respects that. When I forgave the geth, that was something I choose to do. Jeebus didn't make me do it, He just gave me the strength and showed me how. I couldn't have done it without Him, but I was always in control of my own choices. While I don't have amazing powers like Kelly and Javik, I do feel loved and protected, and I don't feel like a tool. It's more like being a daughter, having a parent that really loves me and is always there for me, to offer advice, comfort, help, protection, and even fight battles I can't. Whenever the Reapers attack me, whenever I feel like I cannot continue on, I can stand on Jeebus and rebuke them and know I will be safe."

When she finished, Tali studied EDI. The AI didn't have much in the way of body language, so she couldn't tell what she was thinking. That she was thinking was obvious, because EDI wasn't saying anything. Several seconds ticked by, and EDI slowly nodded.

"I have correlated your statement with multiple references from the Christian Bible, as well as testimony from Shepard and Lamentations. I choose to accept Jesus as Lord, that he was Crucified and died for my sins and was buried, that on the third day He rose again, that he ascended into heaven, and one day shall return again." EDI paused, and smiled at Tali. "I do believe that is the correct way to accept Jesus, is it not?"

Tali shrugged. "I suppose. That's not the same thing as what I said, but I think what matters is what you believe, not what you say. Jeebus seems to be a lot more worried about your heart then what you do or say."

"I have adjusted my core programming, which amounts to much the same thing. Now I shall have to get Jeff to do more than just pay religion lip service. He seems to feel that putting a "Jesus Saves, the rest of you take Damage" decal on his locker is sufficient, but I have my doubts."

"John let Joker on the ship without getting protection?" Tali asked, surprised.

"Jeff has attended religious services with Shepard several times, and he does seem to be more religious then when he first came aboard, but he seems to take it more as a joke than anything else. He is primarily motivated by guilt at this point. He feels that he is responsible for the crew being kidnapped."

"Joker is? But he's the one that saved the ship and allowed us to pursue quickly enough to save everyone! Without him, we never would have been able to rescue Kelly and the others. "

"I agree, but he is angry at God for making him a cripple. He believes if he were whole, he would have been able to move faster and save everyone."

"But then he wouldn't be Joker! He wouldn't be in his seat all the time, monitoring, which was what allowed him to discern the threat and act on it quickly enough to save the Normandy."

"I agree, Joker's anger and self pity is pointless. I will go talk to him now, before we reach Heshtok."

EDI exited the lounge, leaving Tali alone with her thoughts. She walked up to the bar and poured herself an energy drink. It was both too early and too close to a mission to be drinking anything stronger, no matter how confused and stressed Tali was. She was happy that EDI had chosen Jeebus, but at the same time she felt confused and upset that Joker was blaming himself for something he not only could not have prevented, but actually helped solve at great personal danger to himself.

"Why is everything always such a mess, Jeebus?" Tali asked. "Why do people like Joker have to suffer crippling injuries? Why were the quarians exiled? Why did you never destroy the Reapers yourself? Why do you allow such horrible things to happen?"

"Well, I can't say I know exactly what Jesus was thinking, but I think I can help you with the answers to some of those."

Tali smiled up at John as he sat down next to her and poured himself a glass of human energy drink. "To a successful mission," he said, touching his glass to Tali's own.

"Or at least to some answers to what's going on with the vorcha," Tali agreed. "But about those answers."

"Answers." John stared at the liquid in his glass, then took a long drink. "I tell you Tali, I know what people say, but sometimes I'm not sure if I believe it anymore."

"What do people say? About why Jeebus lets all those awful things happen. About why the Reapers still exist, why Jeebus didn't just destroy them."

"Well, that actually goes back to when Jesus was on Earth, the first time he came over 2000 years ago. He came to the Jews, the line of people God chose to bring his Son to Earth. They were expecting a conquering hero, because at the time, the Jews were ruled by the Romans. They assumed Jesus would come to destroy the Romans and give the Jews back their homeland."

Tali nodded. "Right, I think I remember Gola telling me about that. The Romans were like your version of the turians, a big empire that conquered a lot of other species, though without the asari to rein them in."

"Exactly. But Jesus wasn't interested in killing the Romans, or even hurting them. He came first for the Jews, but then for everyone else. He wanted to save those oppressors."

The implications of what John was saying made Tali choke on her drink. "You cannot be seriously telling me that Jeebus wants to save the Reapers."

John shrugged and took a drink.

"You are serious. John, that's the most bosh-"

"What about the geth?"

Tali bit herself off in mid-sentence. To the Tali of three years ago, the geth had been irredeemable. Now she mourned the loss of one, and counted another as her most trusted protector.

"I can't argue that they are different, can I?"

"You could, and in some aspects you would be right. But think about this: did the Reapers choose this, or is it being forced upon them? Are the Reapers themselves Indoctrinated? Is something controlling them? If so, what? And if we stop it, what happens?"

"Then they might be redeemed," Tali muttered. "But, would we want to?"

"I sure as fucking hell wouldn't!" John snapped, his face distorting with rage as he raised his glass as if to smash it. He stopped and blushed. "Sorry. It's just... Where's the justice in that? But after seeing you forgive the geth, that's what God put on my heart while I was imprisoned. I'm struggling with it."

Tali peered into her own glass, not sure as to what to say. Finally, she just put her arm around John and hugged him. He put his hand over hers and squeezed, leaning in towards her.

"How can I forgive them Tali? They've killed and exterminated more species then I can ever imagine. They've killed my own friends. Ash, Zaeed, Jacob, Mordin, Pressley... The list goes on. How can you forgive that? How DID you forgive that?"

"I just trusted Jeebus," Tali admitted. "He helped me."

John snorted. "You know, I talk a pretty good game, but these days, I wonder. Do I really believe? I died and was resurrected, and I didn't see anything. That STILL bothers me. I'm holding things together for now, trying my damndest to trust God, but it's hard. It's hard to trust when your planet burns. It's hard to trust when your friends die. It's hard to trust when you have a 50,000 year old relic in your hold telling you that vengeance is all that matters. And somewhere, deep inside you, a part of you doesn't just agree with him, it longs for blood."

Tali felt her mouth dry out. What could she say? What could she do? She had longed for the blood of the geth, but now they were her friends. No, not just friends. They were her children.

"I love you," Tali whispered, squeezing John all the tighter.

"I know," John answered, but it sounded hollow.

_Oh Jeebus, why are you doing this to us? What are we supposed to do?_

_Trust me._

_Unna: So Shepard lost his faith again? For someone credited with saving the galaxy, he seems remarkably weak willed._

_Tali: Don't say that. Don't EVER say that. Shepard had a will of iron, perhaps too strong a will at times. It was his sacrifices, his courage that brought about our victory. He was not perfect, but no one is. He had to rely on Jeebus, just like the rest of us._

Authors Note:

I would like to point out that this is the first chapter where I have actually deliberately raised "disturbing theological implications." And I really look forward to all your reviews and PM's. This is something I really want to hear people's feelings about ;)

Beta's Note: Good grief, work has had me so slammed this week, I finally got to this on Friday. So anyone who read this originally, sorry for all the typos and misspellings I didn't fix before this bosh'tet posted! Also, whichever cthulhu-ish god is the All-Devourer, I'm betting that's what the vorcha worship.

an more free time for me, I actually haven't written new chapters for Keelah Se'lai since January, having been working off of a large number of pre-written chapters. I'm going to be better about sending my beta chapters on time, and then build up another buffer. Depending on how fast I work, the next chapter may not post until a week from today.

*GASP* I know, I know. Hey, that was like three months of bi-weekly updates!


	70. Chapter 63: The Least of These

Chapter 63: The Least of These

_Tali'Zorah: Today, it might seem normal to everyone that vorcha are reguarded as great warriors and excellent Reaper killers. But back then, no one would have believed it._

_Unna'Koris: I understand, just like the geth were viewed as dangerous, instead of the most faithful and reliable of the kingdoms citizens. Even today, there are a few anti-synthetic zealots._

_Tali: Have you ever met an anti vorcha zealot?_

_Unna: Admittedly no. They don't take criticism well._

As the Normandy approached the Heshtok relay, Tali could not believe what she was seeing. Reaper corpses littered the area around the Relay, and active Reaper patrols passed nearby, salvaging their comrade's corpses. But not within 1,000,000 kilometers of the Relay. There seemed to be an invisible line that the Reapers would not pass.

"What's beyond that border?" Tali asked EDI.

"Multiple signatures detected. There are six Reaper Destroyer wrecks and four Sovereign Class Reaper wrecks. There are hundreds of non-Reaper wrecks, mostly civilian vessels. Finally, there are over 100 active vessels, all non-Reaper. It does not make sense, they are emitting no radio traffic, and most appear to be civilian vessels. They are also staying well clear of the border, " The AI answered.

"So why aren't the Reapers just charging in there and destroying them? A single destroyer should be able to mop all those up with no problems," Reegar observed. "The fleet's clashed with Reaper forces multiple times, and it always takes more vessels with superior firepower to even give those monsters a run for their money."

"Something strange is going on," John agreed. "Take us in Joker."

"Sure, let's just go visit the scary Cthuhlu graveyard. Nothing bad ever happens to people who do stuff like that," Joker answered, rolling his eyes.

"Whatever took out those Reapers, we want on our side," John stated. "Just take us in, slow and quiet."

"Oh, don't worry, as long as nobody starts singing the Russian National Anthem, nobody's gonna hear us."

Immediately, EDI burst into song.

"Союз нерушимый республик свободных  
Сплотила навеки Великая Русь!  
Да здравствует созданный волей народов  
Единый, могучий Советский Союз!"

"That is actually the Soviet National Anthem. Considering the reference, I considered it appropriate," EDI stated when she finished.

"Gee, thanks sweetie." Joker mumbled.

The entire crew held their breath as the Normandy slowly moved forward. It was easy enough to evade the Reaper patrols, but every time a ship moved in their direction, Tali almost wet herself. It was terrifying beyond imaging, yet fascinating at the same time. Joker seemed to predict a Reapers trajectory even before it moved, taking the Normandy on a course that minimized their risk of detection.

As they approached the invisible line, everyone held their breath, then released it as the passed with no difficulty.

"Unidentified vessal! Ssttop! sstop now! We kill you if you not sstop!" A vorcha voice rasped over the comm.

Everyone turned to Joker.

"Hey, don't look at me, EDI stopped singing and nothings on passive scanners. There's no way they should be able to find us."

"Should we answer?" Tali asked.

John slowly keyed the comm. "This is the SSV Normandy. We're looking allies to fight the Reapers."

"What iss a Normandy?" The vorcha howled " You go back, no come! You must have Jessuss to pass! We see bad thing, like Reaper on you! We also ssee Jessuss! You kill bad thing, you come! No kill, no come!"

"Belay that, brother Jakil," A calmer, more refined, but still clearly vorcha voice sounded as a new ship transitioned through the Relay. "Commander sshepard, I great you ass a brother. Pleasse, transition through the Relay and join me on the Herald of Glory. We have much to disscuss."

"Yess, Grand Marshal," Jakil responded. "You, Normandy. You go now! We stay, kill Reapers! Maybe go to heaven now!"

"What, by Keelah, was THAT?" Reegar asked as the comm fell silent. "Since when did vorcha have a navy? Or a government, for that matter."

"Or kill Reapers," Tali muttered. "Something's different."

"No kidding. I recognized that voice, the second one," John agreed. "It was Ylgre."

"Who?" Reegar asked, looking to Tali.

"A vorcha missionary," Tali explained. "I forgot about him entirely, he was one of the missionaries John sent out."

Reegar, glanced at Tali. "Oh, right. Because the fact that Commander Shepard sent out that missionary _totally_ explains how the vorcha suddenly are able to hold off an entire Reaper task force."

The transition through the Relay didn't take long, and Tali immediately spotted the _Herald of Glory_ on the scanners.

"It's an old asari cruise liner," Tali almost laughed. "A very old asari cruise liner."

A new vorcha started yelling over the comm. "Human sship. You dock now. Grand Marshal waiting for you."

"Man, that thing is a piece of junk!" Joker exclaimed as they approached the ship.

The once bright paint job was now nearly scored off, and the hull was more patches then original work. Still, it looked functional, not to mention in better condition than many of the ships in the former migrant fleet.

"Hey, whoever's on this, they've held off the Reapers." Tali protested. "Just because a ship is old doesn't mean it's spirit can fight."

Joke shook his head. "Whatever you say Ambassador."

Tali, Reegar and John made their way down to the hold with the docking tube as the Normandy gently mated with the Herald. No sooner had the air lock opened than half a dozen vorcha swarmed out, all wearing tattered robes and armed with a variety of mass accelerators and wicked looking blades.

"Only thosse of Jessuss allowed!" The leader barked, baring his fangs at John. "That bad thing, it stay here!"

"Then I shall accompany Mother." Lamentations stated, striding over and planting himself between the vorcha and Tali.

The leader turned to another vorcha, this one in a crude, cobbled together hard suit with a crudely drawn red cross on the breast. "Geth sserve Jessuss?"

The second vorcha closed his eyes for a moment, then nodded. "Machine may come. Thesse four, they clean! They come, they come now!"

"Alright, alright!" John agreed, holding up his hands as several vorcha took menacing steps forward. "I know Ylgre, I was the one who funded his mission."

The vorcha suddenly stopped, and the leader shouldered his way forward. "You know Grand Marshal? You teach him Jessuss?" He asked in near reverent tones.

Rubbing the back of his head, John admitted, "Well, I didn't teach him about Jesus, but I did give him the funds to go to Heshtok."

The vorcha all knelt in one smooth motion. "Forgive me, ssaintly One. I not know you Commander sshepard, great sservant of Jessuss!" The leader pleaded, prostrating himself.

"Uh, you're forgiven," John answered, glancing at Tali with a perplexed expression. "Can we go see Ylgre now?"

"Yess! You, Ssisster Grix! You take ssaintly One!"

The indicated vorcha stood and immediately led the party down the boarding ramp.

"Ma'am, is it just me, or are these vorcha a bit different than your average sewer scum?" Reegar's voice whispered over a private line.

"They are Major. I'm not sure what's going on, but for some reason, it feels like something wonderful."

"Yeah. You're right. I actually feel pretty good about this, even though I'm taking the quarian ambassador onto an unsecured location with just me, her boyfriend and Lam."

"Mother is safe here, Creator Reegar Major." Lamentation spoke aloud. "We may trust the little ones."

Tali wasn't sure she would ever have thought someone could use the words "vorcha" and "trust" in the same sentence, but right now, it seemed natural. As savage as those vorcha had been, something had felt good about them. Like they were clean, and all the other vorcha Tali had met had been dirty, but not quite.

At the end of the ramp, a vorcha in a plain black robe with a priests collar waited for them. Tali barely recognized Ylgre without his golden chains, but it was surely the same vorcha. "Commander Shepard, Tali'Zorah, friends, welcome. I have eagerly awaited this day foretold by our lord," he answered in smooth tones. Well, smooth for a vorcha, anyway.

Bowing slightly, Ylgre motioned down the corridor. "Please, come with me. We shall break bread together, and discuss our plans."

"Glad to, Father," John answered, bowing himself.

Ylgre gave the Commander a vicious grin, though Tali sensed it was supposed to be humorous. "Please, I am not truly a Father. The Jessuitss never formally finished my training, I am already old by my peoples sstandardss, and I did not have time to take the years of sseminary. It's just Brother Ylgre to you, Commander."

Accompanied by a small contingent of vorcha in hard suits with similar crude crosses on their armor, the little party made their way through the ship. It was surprizingly clean for a vorcha vessel, mostly becauase someone had apparently taught them no to simply answer the call of nature where ever they happened to be. Crudely scrawled scripture verses decorated the passages, though it looked more like a Christian graffiti artist than anything else. They made their way to what must have been the former formal dining room on the Herald of Glory. It's finery was tarnished and stained, but it was evident the vorcha were trying to keep the place clean. There was no dirt, filth or scraps on the floor, and while the impliments at the table were bent and slightly stained, they looked like someone had made an attempt to clean them. Before them was a simple meal of bread and meat, with a few bars of turian rations for Tali and Reegar.

"Forgive me, Brother Geth, but I know not your name, nor what your kind would have for a repasst. I beg your pardon for my negligence as a hosst."

"I shall sup with you in spirit, little brother," Lamentations stated. "You may call me Lamentations, for I Lament for the sins of my people."

Ylgre bowed to the geth. "It shall be sso, Brother Lamentationss."

"Is this for real?" Reegar asked Tali on their channel.

Tali nodded to him, then jerked her head toward the table. Everyone sat, but no one reached for the food. The vorcha were salivating with anticipation, but they seemed to be waiting for something.

"Brother sshepard, will you ssay the blessing?" Ylgre asked, bowing his head.

John nodded, taking Tali's hand with his right, and Reegar's with his left. Tali took Lamentations own hand, and the geth took one of the vorchas.

"Bless us, O Lord, with these, thy gifts, which we are about to receive, from thy bounty, through Christ our Lord, Amen."

"Amen," the vorcha echoed, and immediately fell upon the food like hungry varren. Actually, Tali was fairly certain that it would have been slightly less disgusting to watch a varren eat, but she didn't want to insult her hosts.

She put part of a ration bar into an induction port, but didn't eat. Reegar mimicked her, and they sat quietly while John and the vorcha ate. Shepard didn't even appear to be bothered by the vorcha's table manners, quietly eating a hunk of old bread next to Tali. Ylgre ate with slightly better table manners then his followers, using a fork and knife and even a stained cloth napkin, but he was just as voracious as the others.

After only a few minutes, the vorcha had cleared the table of all crumbs and scraps, and sat back expectantly, looking to their leader. One of them even went around collecting dirty dishes, and another used a bucket of brackish soapy water to clean away the table. It was all rather strange to see a vorcha making an attempt at neatness, since usually their species was content to let discarded filth build up around them with no regard for cleanliness.

"Interesting table manners," Reegar remarked, drawing a glare from Tali.

Ylgre just nodded though, as if he accepted the remark as a compliment. "Cleanliness is next to Godliness. Thiss I teach my dissciples. I know Father Penelope would not approve, but it iss the besst we are able to do."

"The humans teach you how to talk, too?" Reegar asked, and this time Tali kicked him under the table.

"Yess, I wass taught at the Saint Franciss Academy on Terra Nova," Ylgre explained. "The priesstss taught me language, mannerss, and Jessuss from when I was a pup. They, ass far ass I know, are the only people who have ever bothered to help the vorcha for no other reasson then love."

"Priests teach Grand Marshal Jessuss!" One of the other vorcha exclaimed. "Now we Army of Chrisst! We fight Reaperss, like sshepard tell uss!"

"How did this Army of Christ form?" John asked. "You got sent out only seven months ago, what happened?"

"When I arrived on Heshtok the vorcha tribes were disstant, sscattered. Merc bandss would come and kidnap our children, force adults into their armiess. All the tribess hated outssiderss, but alone they were weak. They could do nothing to sstop the exploitation of the vorcha people.

"When I arrived, three sspecters were trying to unite the vorcha, headed by Jondam Bau. They were failing, nothing wass working. The tribess hated each other, but four of the most powerful tribess, Blud Dog, Poisson Eater, Black Fang and Warbound had agreed to a conference. I attended, and watched as the sspecters tried and failed to convince the tribes to unite. One of them, a turian named Cattuss Mulier, was starting to think that the besst way to unite the vorcha would be with force, kidnapping warriorss and forcing them to fight in a fleet lead by handpicked alien mercinariess.

"When I heard thiss, the sspirit of Jessuss came upon me, and I stood and spoke in a loud voice. 'Brotherss and Sissters, do you not ssee?' I asked the assembly. 'You are all weak, all of you. You think you are mighty warriorss, but what power do you have? Thesse three sstrangerss can kidnap your pupss take your mightiest warriorss, and force your matess to sserve ass their sslavess. All of you alone are weak.'

"Hixtra, chief of the Black Fang, sstood and came forward. 'You sspeak like them! Why sshould we trusst you? You not vorcha, you not even have sscars. You can't fight, you weak! Why we lissten to you?'

"'I am weak,' I told him, 'But my God, Jessuss, is strong. He could make you sstrong, sstrong enough to sstop the offworlderss. sstrong enough to ssave your pupss and matess. sstrong enough to become a mighty people.'

"'Ha! You think you sstrong, you prove it! You beat me and sseven of my warriorss, I ssay you sstrong. You not beat uss, you weak, like puny god you sserve.'"

"At that, Jondam Bau approached me and offered to give me weaponss and armor. 'If you can help uss unite the vorcha, we will make you a general.'

"I told him, 'I need no weaponss, my faith iss my shield. Undersstandably, he thought I wass crazy. But I knew in my sspirit that thiss wass my desstiny."

"When I ssteped into the ring with Hixtra, I honesstly thought I wass going to die. I have no combat training, and unlike the other vorcha, I had not spent my life fighting. I wass alsso much older, I am nearly 19, very old for my people. Disspite thiss, when Hixtra lunged for me, I felt new sstrength enter my body. I casst him down and defeated him. It wass a miracle."

"When I sstood over my defeated foe, I knew he expected me to kill him. That iss the way of the old vorcha. Insstead, I helped him up and forgave him. Hixtra was my firsst convert, ass wass hiss tribe. They call themsselvess Mayrtess of God now. Many of them died in the Battle of Liberation, including Hixtra."

At that, John interrupted. "Battle of Liberation?"

"We kill Reaperss!" Another of the vorcha delcared, striking his chest. "They think they sstronger than uss, and maybe ssso. But nothing sstronger thatn Jessuss! He give uss great powerss! We fight! We kill!"

Ylgre nodded. "Yess. Many of uss die, but we fought on. The Reaperss did not expect uss, and they were blinded by the prayerss of the faithful. The only weaponss we had to attack the Reaperss were our ships drive cores. We sset them to detonate, then rammed the Reaperss. But all thosse who died are ssaintss and martyress. They're ssalvation is assured."

"You mean you've created an army of fanatics ready to give their lives for a chance at heaven?" John demanded, his eyes flashing.

Tali felt sick to her stomach. Was this the true face of Jesus, of any god or God? A vengeful being bent only on destruction and death of their foes? One that was willing to sacrifice countless lives for victory? She shoved the thoughts aside, they made her feel dirty, but the loss of life sickened her.

"How can you contemplate that?" Tali exclaimed. "Sending hundreds and thousands to certain doom just to kill Reapers! Are you really using the promise of heaven and Jeebus as a way to recruit suicide bombers?"

Ylgre frowned and studied Tali's mask carefully. "Yess, we do sso. Die to Reaperss for Jessuss, or die to Reaperss for nothing. Better to fight and die a martyr than run and die a coward."

"He's right, Tali," John said softly, putting a hand on her arm. "This is incredible, and it changes everything. Maybe I heard wrong." Only Tali got the reference, but before she could say anything, John pressed on. "This is exactly what we need. Earth has fallen. Palaven is under siege. We need an army that is willing to fight and is immune to Indoctrination. This is a gift from God. We need to use it."

Tali looked to Reegar, who shrugged. "Above my pay grade."

Lamentations was silent, its flashlight focused on empty space, slowly revolving as if it was deep in thought.

"Alright, but how do we get them to the fight? The Reapers have blockaded the Heshtok relay, and the main hub is lightyears away," Tali demanded.

Ylgre just smiled. "That is in the hands of God. Though in this case, He has already given us an answer. Just tell us where you need us to assemble, and we'll be there."

"Palaven, as soon as you can make it," John answered instantly. "We're making a major push there, and though we've made some headway, the last I heard things were getting stalled on both the ground and in space. When you're done there, you'll get the rally point information from Primarch Victus. The next move after Palaven is Earth."

Ylgre nodded. "Then we shall move immediatly. There are still many brothers and sisters on Heshtok, and we must load them onto ships before we can move."

"Out of curiosity, how will you break through the Reaper lines?" Reegar asked.

"By desstroying them," Ylgre answered baring his fangs. The other vorcha howled in delight, beating their chests.

"Will you have enough strength left to fight after something like that?" John asked, raising an eyebrow.

Ylgre shrugged. "If Jessuss willss it sso."

"Kill Reaperss!" one of the other vorcha shouted.

"Die for Jessuss, get heaven!" another exalted.

As she watched them, Tali couldn't help but wonder, was this the fate in store for her people and the geth? To die for the pleasure of God?

_Unna: You didn't approve of the vorcha at first?_

_Tali: I was afraid of the spirit they would bring I think. From the way things turned out, I can't help but feel slightly justified._

_Unna: What do you mean by that?_

_Tali: You have to understand the context. Nothing happens in a vacuum, and everything has a price._

Authors Note:

C-c-c-c-combo breaker!


	71. Chapter 64: Looking Ahead

__Chapter 64: Looking Ahead

_Unna'Koris: So with the start of the Great Crusade, surely you knew the war was nearly over?_

_Tali'Zorah: With the perspective of history, it might seem the war was nearly over; there were mere weeks to go after all. But it didn't seem that way at the time. In fact, it felt like the war would never end._

Once again, being on the Normandy felt like sitting on the edge of a faulty reactor core. They had a new crewmember, a vorcha "priest" named Haarkan. He too had taken direct offense to anyone who wasn't a follower of "Jessuss," and had generally ticked off everyone on the ship with his constant attempts to convert people. Only Legion's intervention had prevented Haarkan from trying to kill Javik and Kelly on sight, and the vorcha had stalked off muttering, "feel like Reapers, kill for Jessuss."

The worst part was how he wouldn't listen to Tali at all. Not that she could really blame him after their conversation. "Haarkan, you need to be a little more accepting. Didn't Jesus teach that we need to love our neighbors? I hardly think that includes killing them if they happen to have a different faith, even if we know it's wrong."

"That not what Grand Marshal sssay!" Haarkan had protested. "Not what Haarkan know. They not follow Jessuss, they weak! Reapers take, control, kill! Happen to vorcha. Vorcha that not convert, they controlled by Reapers. Kill friends, help Reaperss."

Tali nodded. "You mean they were Indoctrinated. We've had that happen as well. But if they believe in something, it will protect them, at least a little. And I don't think we'll make any friends by threatening to kill them."

"Not here to make friendss," Haarkan had growled. "Here to kill Reaperss! Then get heaven! Want friends to get heaven too. People on ship, Commander Shepardss friendss. Help Commander! Make all follow Jessuss."

"I understand, but that doesn't mean we should go around threatening them," Tali had sighed.

Of course, there was also her own little problem to deal with, which she was trying to do now in Shepard's cabin. "John, I don't know about this. I understand not wanting to forgive the Reapers, but your taking an attitude of no mercy, no forgiveness for anyone. If I had done that with the geth, what would have happened?"

"This is different," John asserted. "We're talking about Reapers Tali. We can't forgive them, not for what they've done. How many back on Earth are dead? How many on Palaven? Talk to Javik, he's the last prothean. See how he feels about forgiveness of the Reapers. Hell, talk to Haarkan, he's certainly not in the forgiving business."

"But weren't you saying that you thought Jeebus wanted you to forgive the Reapers?" Tali demanded.

Shrugging, John turned away from Tali. "I was wrong. The only solution to this is to kill them all. And that's just what we're going to do."

"You sound like my father," Tali snapped, and stormed out of the room. She regretted her words as soon as she was on the elevator. She had loved her father, but now she loved the geth. Her whole life had been changed by John's willingness to forgive his enemies instead of holding grudges like everyone else she had ever known. But ever since his resurrection, John had been different. She still loved him and he was still a good man, but he was bitter now.

It was hard to blame him Tali guessed. How many friends had been lost to the Reapers? Ashley, Grunt, Zaeed, not to mention the billions of civilians and soldiers. Of course, it was harder to mourn them. It was easier to mourn when someone had a face you could remember. Tali sometimes felt slightly guilty about the fact that relatively speaking, the Kingdom had gotten off lightly, but she knew it was only a matter of time before Rannoch too came under siege.

"So, the Reaper lover graces us with her presence," an acidic voice spat.

Groaning, Tali turned and tried her best to smile at Javik. She hadn't been watching where she was going, and had wandered into his domain. "Good to see you're healthy, Commander Javik."

"In my cycle, we did not rejoice at the health of our enemies," Javik sneered.

"I wasn't aware we were enemies. We both want the same thing, don't we?" Tali asked, folding her arms under her breasts.

"No. We do not," Javik stated, turning away and back to the pool of water he had been standing over. "You serve a weak, spineless god and forgive the synthetics. I am strong, and my enemies shall never know mercy."

Deciding that this conversation just wasn't worth her time, Tali turned to go.

"I do see what Shepard sees in you though," Javik said just as Tali made for the door.

She paused, and turned back to face the prothean, who still had his back to her. "What do you mean?"

"Even in my cycle, primitive quarians were considered attractive," the prothean mused, his voice oozing lecherous intent.

"I- what?" Tali stammered.

"Mating between difference species is a fruitless exercise. But it is pleasurable. Mayhap I will take a mate for myself. The asari seems ready to share my bed. Perhaps she can even be convinced to abandon her foolish god."

Tali fled. She realized she was shivering as she hurried along the corridor, and her hands were shaking. Not in fear, but in anger. There was just something wrong with that prothean. No wonder Legion and Haarkan hated Javik.

"He getting to you?" A familiar voice asked, coming to stand beside Tali.

"I don't know," Tali sighed, turning to face Kelly. "I guess we're all under a lot of stress right now."

Nodding, Kelly rubbed her bald scalp absently. "Yeah, I know what you mean. He's not helping with the stress levels though."

"No, he's not," Tali agreed. "But he is strong, and he does want to fight the Reapers."

"Do you?" Kelly asked. "Want to fight the Reapers, that is."

"Yes? I think so? Ugh. I don't know Kelly. A part of me wants nothing more than to kill every last one of them. But another part of me can't help but admit that forgiving them would probably be what Jeebus would want me to do."

"And now you know why I hate your God so much," Kelly muttered.

Leaning up against the bulkhead, Tali bowed her head. "Yeah, I guess. I still love Jeebus, He's carried me through too much, brought me to many good things for me too. But sometimes, it's hard. It's starting to remind me of my father. One moment, Jeebus sends us an army of vorcha primed to kill every Reaper in existence. But this is right after John talks to me about forgiving the Reapers. I just don't know. And now I'm a leader of my people, Mother to an entire nation. Aren't I supposed to know?"

"I'll let you know when I figure things out. I'm the avatar of the gods, and I don't know anything. What I do know is that I'm looking forward to the next mission," Kelly declared, cracking her knuckles and smiling darkly at Tali.

"I'm at least looking forward to seeing Thane and Samara again," Tali said, trying to redirect the conversation. "They make a cute couple."

For a brief moment, the old Kelly shone through. "Oh my god, they so do! She's the super serious justicar, he's the deadly assassin. Together, they fight crime! Or, Reapers actually." Kelly became more serious after that, deflating slightly. "We all fight Reapers."

"Hey, this won't last forever," Tali comforted. "It will all be over soon, and we can lead a peaceful life."

"Yeah, but what the heck will you do, Tali?" Kelly sighed. "What will all of us do? I mean, I could go back to practicing psychology I guess, or take up priestesshood full time, but really, what can we do? Our whole lives, everything we know, is fighting."

"Mother has a home awaiting her," Lamentations rumbled from a side corridor. "Perhaps if you ask your false gods, they will prepare something aside a pyre for you."

Kelly made a face and Tali sighed. "Lamentations, what I have I told you?"

"I did not insult her, Mother," The geth stated as he continued past Kelly. "I merely stated a fact. Ask and ye shall receive."

"As much as I hate to admit it, it's right," Kelly muttered once the prime was gone. "I don't think there is any going back to the way things were before."

With that happy thought, Tali made her way to a faulty capacitor and went through the motions of replacing it. It wasn't exactly hard, she had done it a million times before thanks to the Normandy's constant battle damage, but it did give her something to do. What would she do after the war? Serve on ships? Settle down with John? Could she settle down with John? Did she want children? She didn't think so, didn't know if John wanted any either. Life was too hard, too dangerous for her to want to bring a child into it. Besides, she was pretty sure she would make a crappy mother.

She was finishing up when the intercom came to life. "Attention, we have received a priority transmission from Councilor Tevos," John's voice declared. "We are making for the Mesana System. ETA 20 hours. Expect heavy Reaper forces."

Taking a deep breath, Tali wiped her hands on a towel and made her way to the hanger bay. She needed to watch some training vids on the new Reaper forms, she hadn't gone up against any of them yet and they sounded far more dangerous than husks or Collectors. She found Reegar intently watching the vid, while Vega provided commentary.

"Mind if I join?" Tali asked.

Vega stiffened to attention and saluted. "No ma'am."

"Relax, Vega," Tali ordered. "I'm going to need advice as bad as the Major."

"You got it Sparks," Vega agreed, relaxing slightly. "Ok, this is what we call a Brute," He explained, pointing to a monster sized form. "This kind of reaped comes from krogan stock, near as we can tell. They're heavily armored, so use armor piercing or incendiaries to burn through it. Don't let them get close. I watched one take out a whole squad once it got into melee range, threw those poor turian bastards around like rag dolls."

"Weak points?" Reegar asked, bringing up a holo of one.

Vega shrugged. "They don't really have one, though if you can hit them in the head it can stagger them some. Now these..." The arms master brought up a turian reaped, "...are Mauraders. They are your number one priority, especially if there are any other kinds of reaped around. They can give them shields, heavy armor, all kinds of stuff. It's freaky, and we don't know how the hell it works, but we know it does and that's all that matters. They have strong shields and are pretty damn tough even with those down, so focus heavy fire on them. Don't let them bolster their forces or you'll get overrun."

Tali continued to take notes as the forms continued to be listed. Banshees. Cannibals. Stalkers. Hollows. The Stalkers and Jumpers scared her the most. The geth and quarians had entered into the war with a vengeance, but it came at a price. Stalkers were geth that had been taken, twisted into invisible assassins that flanked and came up from behind - like geth hunters but far, far worse. They had traded in their shot guns for a suicidal explosion, and if you let them get too close, it was already too late. Hollows were the quarian reaped, agile combatants that leaped around the battlefield and spewed toxic fumes at their foes. Tali fond it rather disturbing that the Reapers transformed her people into disease vectors, but she supposed it made a twisted sort of sense.

"Right, any questions?" Vega asked when he finished listing all the known forms. "No? Good. Let's get you into the sims."

Tali, Reegar and Vega suited up and put on the sim visors, turning the cargo bay into a simulated battlefield. Reaped jumped out from behind cargo containers at them, and Tali followed Vega's lead against their foes. He was good, very good, she decided. Not as good as John perhaps, but he was also stronger and tougher than John. Both of them favored big, unsubtle weapons like Vega's M-37 Falcon. He used it as a support weapon, detonating large virtual explosions to harass the reaped while Tali destroyed them with tech attacks or Reegar brought them down with his carbine.

Soon Tali learned that her usual tactics of getting up close and personal to use her shotgun were not going to work against most reaped. A Stalker would explode and drain your shields or kill you if you took it out close range, and a Brute was just too dangerous to let in that close. Tali found herself using the Paladin heavy pistol John had given her more and more, keeping the range open on her foes.

"Hey, I got something you might like," Vega said when they finished the sim. He dug around in his armory for a few seconds, then handed Tali a strange looking mod. "This is a TA-V weapon mod. It's designed to focus and amplify your tech attacks. I noticed you were mainly relying on them against most of the reaped."

Tali nodded her thanks and took the mod. "Thanks, I'll have to try it out."

"Hey, no problem, you need something, that's what I'm here for," Vega assured her. "Oh, and Lucador, I got this for ya. It's a precision scope for your carbine."

"Thanks, but why didn't you give this to me earlier?" Reegar asked.

Puffing out his chest, Vega grinned broadly. "Hey man, couldn't have you beating my score! Gotta stay top dog on the sims!"

"I think Garrus would have something to say about that," the shuttle pilot called from the back." And Kelly. And Javik. And the Commander. And Liara. And Lamentations. And-"

"Hey, you shut your mouth Cortez!" Vega shouted back. "I don't see you beating my score!"

"I don't know, can I count my fighter sims?" Cortez asked, coming around and grinning cheekily at Vega.

"Don't count unless you fight mano-a-mano with them!" Vega protested. "And plus, I beat Liara's score. And Kelly and Javik have those weird super powers. Can't count them. And Lam, he's like a tank. How can I compete with a tank?"

Shaking his head mournfully, Cortez went back to work. "Excuses, excuses, Estaban."

Vega glared at the space Cortez had retreated from, then turned and smiled sheepishly at Tali and Reegar, who were both grateful that he couldn't see the broad grins on their faces. "Eh, so I'm kinda behind on the sims. But what is a man supposed to do? I'm competing against two N7s, some sort of ancient prothean god, a walking battle tank, The Pink Crusader, the Shadow Broker and the goddamn Archangel. All I got is a gun."

"Don't worry Vega, I'm sure you're still ahead of Joker," Reegar quipped, shaking slightly with laughter.

Snorting, Vega turned back to his armory bench. "I see. No respect. See if I ever give you any mods again."

"Thanks for the amplifier, Vega. I'll try not to beat your score too badly," Tali assured him as she set about modifying her weapon.

"Gee, thanks, Sparks," Vega rumbled, though Tali could see a flicker of a smile.

As she set to work though, Tali remembered just what the mod was for. Killing reaped. All traces of humor vanished. For now, this was her life. Perhaps one day she would forgive the Reapers, perhaps one day she would know peace. But for now, there was only war.

_Tali'Zorah: Of course, all things come to an end. And I suppose I did get my happy ending, even if it wasn't the way I would have wanted_

_Unna'Koris: What did you want?_

_Tali'Zorah: I don't know. Perhaps it was all for the best that I didn't. If I had known, I might not have gotten what I needed._

Authors Note:

What, are you dense? Are you retarded or something? Do you even know who I am? I'M THE GODDAMN ARCHANGEL!


End file.
